Pretty Little Episode #105

Tig and Mae share their dreams and compare themselves to fruit on a Pretty Little Episode that reminds us of... a pineapple! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Mae Martin?

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:19Mae Martin?

  Welcome to a pretty little episode of the Handsome Pod. I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin, joined.

• 0:25Tig Notaro?

  You sure are, Mae Martin, and I am Tig Notaro. Mae, how are you?

• 0:31Mae Martin?

  I'm certainly here and well.

• 0:34Tig Notaro?

  I see you're in camo.

• 0:37Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:38Tig Notaro?

  I don't know if I've seen you in camo before.

• 0:40Mae Martin?

  I rarely see myself in camo because I'm so camouflaged.

• 0:45Tig Notaro?

  I love camo, I have to tell you.

• 0:47Mae Martin?

  I thought that when I put it on, actually.

• 0:49Tig Notaro?

  No, you didn't.

• 0:50Mae Martin?

  I did.

• 0:51Tig Notaro?

  You're starting, you're not telling truthful things.

• 0:55Mae Martin?

  I seriously, I think even when I ordered this, it's like a vintage shirt. I think I maybe was like, I'd seen you wearing camo or something.

• 1:04Tig Notaro?

  Wow, look at that. Yeah, I do.

• 1:07Mae Martin?

  Not to suck up or slowly assume your identity.

• 1:10Tig Notaro?

  Well, it is surprising, I'm sure, to know that I like camo and flannel.

• 1:17Mae Martin?

  Well, you're always hunting.

• 1:18Tig Notaro?

  I am.

• 1:19Mae Martin?

  Game.

• 1:19Tig Notaro?

  Hunting for more camo and flannel.

• 1:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 1:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 1:24Mae Martin?

  You're looking well. You're wearing a sort of.

• 1:27Tig Notaro?

  I'm looking well, but let's be honest, my eye is basically closed right now, is it not?

• 1:35Mae Martin?

  It's taking a little nap. It's almost calling it a day. Is that just from being tired? It gets?

• 1:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. When I get really tired, or I guess, which makes sense if it's really late at night, which it's not, it's seven o'clock, but I have been traveling. I was on a different time zone. And also, I don't sleep well when I'm not home.

• 2:01Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 2:02Tig Notaro?

  I don't know, but also, I'm 55. I don't know, my eye's closing, May.

• 2:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:08Mae Martin?

  I mean, I think you should embrace it. I think it's, I think it's cool.

• 2:11Tig Notaro?

  It's pretty Popeye of me, isn't it?

• 2:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. So can you not sleep in Colorado?

• 2:18Tig Notaro?

  Um, I mean, here and there, but no, I really have to be home and I have to be in bed with Stephanie for a very good night of sleep.

• 2:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I, yeah. Now that I'm, now that I'm heavily involved again, I've, now I'm the same where I can't sleep without parve. I can't sleep very well and it's really annoying because she lives in Venice.

• 2:43Tig Notaro?

  And so how, like, what is bad sleep for you? Is, is it like a couple hours? Or is it a lot of interruptions? Or walk me through boring aging information?

• 2:57Mae Martin?

  It's just the, yeah, sleep hygiene 101. It's just, um, I can't fall asleep and I, my mind's racing and then I'll get up and, and then maybe I'll sleep for a few hours and then I have to pee and then I'm awake again for a while.

• 3:11Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 3:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and you just wake up and you're, yeah, you feel like you've been busy all night.

• 3:16Tig Notaro?

  You know what I was told not to do? And maybe I've already talked about this, but who cares? Here it comes again. I have been told not to look at my phone.

• 3:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:25Tig Notaro?

  My, my watch. Did we talk about this?

• 3:27Mae Martin?

  Oh, because you got an Apple Watch.

• 3:29Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, but when you wake up in the night, don't look at the clock.

• 3:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, don't look at the time.

• 3:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:35Mae Martin?

  Because you'll start like counting the hours.

• 3:37Tig Notaro?

  You'll start thinking about it. You'll start counting, crunching numbers.

• 3:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:40Tig Notaro?

  Just, just tell yourself, you know what? I can go back to sleep.

• 3:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:46Tig Notaro?

  Who knows if it's five minutes till the alarm goes off or five hours, but don't look.

• 3:52Mae Martin?

  Do you ever do like, like visualizations and stuff? Like I, I have my thing where I pretend I got in a plane crash.

• 4:00Tig Notaro?

  Well, of course, you act like I know this. What do you mean?

• 4:03Mae Martin?

  I'm sure I've talked about this. I pretend, I pretend I was in a small plane, like the kind Harrison Ford would fly, and it crashed in Alaska in the snow.

• 4:12Tig Notaro?

  Doesn't he always crash?

• 4:13Mae Martin?

  Always. He loves to crash. Yeah.

• 4:15Tig Notaro?

  So interesting.

• 4:16Mae Martin?

  It's his thing. And then I imagine like climbing out of the wreckage and I'm kind of a little injured and then I go through the snow and then I get to this log cabin and it's like a fire's burning.

• 4:27Tig Notaro?

  You have not told me. Why would you get to a log cabin where the fire's burning? Isn't your plane on fire?

• 4:33Mae Martin?

  That's true.

• 4:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Mae Martin?

  I've got to, I'm trying to find shelter or sanctuary.

• 4:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:39Mae Martin?

  And then, um, but I can't, like, I can't just imagine the cozy log cabin and crawling into bed. I have to go through the plane crash first. So it's.

• 4:49Tig Notaro?

  And that puts you to sleep.

• 4:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, once I get to the, sometimes when I get to the log cabin and I'm all tucked up.

• 4:55Tig Notaro?

  I guess, um, I guess it's just the same concept of like, you just go through different steps. Because what I do, if I must share this embarrassing thing.

• 5:07Mae Martin?

  You must.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  I've been told to go through, like, you know, head to toe, your whole body.

• 5:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:14Tig Notaro?

  Kind of whatever. And I say, good night to every part.

• 5:19Mae Martin?

  Stop.

• 5:19Tig Notaro?

  And I say, good night to my hair.

• 5:23Mae Martin?

  Good night to your hair?

• 5:24Tig Notaro?

  May, hear me out. Then I say, good night to my scalp. I say, good night to my forehead. I say, good night to my ears. I say, good night to my eyebrows. I have never made it past that.

• 5:37Mae Martin?

  No way. I mean, even as you were doing that, I was feeling myself, drawing my awareness to those parts and then like.

• 5:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And you know what? Probably our listeners fell asleep too, because frankly, it's pretty boring.

• 5:49Mae Martin?

  Frankly, yeah, sleep hygiene.

• 5:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 5:52Mae Martin?

  This segment, you know, Debbie would be thrilled to hear you're saying, good night to your hair, though.

• 5:56Tig Notaro?

  Yes, she would.

• 5:58Mae Martin?

  Nobody says good night to those poor souls.

• 6:03Tig Notaro?

  They are poor souls. Not as poor as my eyeballs soul. How are you, May?

• 6:09Mae Martin?

  I'm well, I think. I've been, I'm well. What have I been up to? I went to Disney with three small children, actually four small children. I went with my friend Nicole, who's like my oldest, like from when we were 13.

• 6:27Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 6:27Mae Martin?

  She's the one that was sent to a rehab facility in the States and way worse. Yeah. So she's got these two little kids and we went to Disney and they're, they'd never been, I don't think they'd left Canada before really. And so they are four and six and oh my Lord, that's a good age for Disney. It was beyond exhausting, but they were impeccably behaved. And the little one, Maggie, she's four, she, I kept hearing her whispering, like, we went on jungle cruise and you know, it's just animatronic animals. And every time we go by one, I heard her whispering, it's real.

• 7:05Mae Martin?

  It's real. And then like, we went on Peter Pan. She's like, it's real, we're flying. She really was immersed.

• 7:12Tig Notaro?

  That's so cute. What's crazy is we're going to Disney this weekend.

• 7:17Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 7:18Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes. I'm doing a corporate gig for Disney and then we're just going to party in Anaheim.

• 7:25Mae Martin?

  How many, have they been before?

• 7:28Tig Notaro?

  I think I've talked about this and I wish you'd pay attention, May.

• 7:32Mae Martin?

  We're just recapping, both of us.

• 7:34Tig Notaro?

  Yes. No, we took Max and Finn for their fifth birthday.

• 7:38Mae Martin?

  And you went on Space Mountain.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  Well, not just that. When we got there, we realized we had never shown them anything Disney related.

• 7:47Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 7:49Tig Notaro?

  When the mouse comes up, anybody, they were just like, who is this? What's happening?

• 7:54Mae Martin?

  They're like, who are these princesses?

• 7:55Tig Notaro?

  Exactly.

• 7:56Mae Martin?

  What monarchy is this?

• 7:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:58Mae Martin?

  That's really good. Are you going to stay until the night and see parades and stuff?

• 8:03Tig Notaro?

  Uh, I hope not.

• 8:05Mae Martin?

  I didn't do that. I hit a wall and then I, I basically, I booked it for everyone and my thinking was, I'll escape at some point. Like, so around 4:00 PM, I started really flagging. But I did a thing where in the morning, I said, guys, just so you know, you can win stars by being cooperative, helpful, like kind, you can win stars. And at the end of the day, whoever has the most stars, I'm going to buy them a toy. And I knew I was going to buy them all toys, you know, but they, it worked like all day. They're like, how many stars do I have at this point? And like really keeping tabs on the numbers and.

• 8:46Mae Martin?

  Then I had to leave, so I didn't, I didn't, and then I texted one of their parents and was like, I, can you buy them all toys?

• 8:54Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's classic May for you right there.

• 8:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. Set it up and then bounce.

• 8:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. You know, I, I do want to go back when you were saying about your plane crash to put you to sleep.

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:07Tig Notaro?

  This is really wild, what I'm about to tell you.

• 9:10Mae Martin?

  Tell me.

• 9:11Tig Notaro?

  And I was going to tell you when you started talking about this and then I thought, I remember it and I didn't. But going back.

• 9:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:18Tig Notaro?

  My cousin, her son was just in a plane crash.

• 9:26Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed.

• 9:27Mae Martin?

  What?

• 9:28Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed. It was a private jet. He was with his friend and his friend's dad. And when my cousin told me that her son was in a plane crash, I thought it was gonna be like, the plane bounced on like, the runway and then the wing kinda hit the,

• 9:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:47Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 9:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like a landing or takeoff.

• 9:50Tig Notaro?

  No, no. They were going from Cabo to Austin. They had to emergency land on a freeway. I believe it was in Lubbock. The plane flipped upside down.

• 10:04Mae Martin?

  Oh!

• 10:05Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Uh, crashes, slides, the back half of the plane falls off of the overpass.

• 10:14Mae Martin?

  Oh my-

• 10:14Tig Notaro?

  It's in flames. My nephew, my cousin's son and his friend get out and his friend's dad dies.

• 10:23Mae Martin?

  Oh my god!

• 10:24Tig Notaro?

  This was while I was in Colorado.

• 10:28Mae Martin?

  Holy shit!

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes, intense. And my poor cousin, my family, everybody is like having that kind. I mean, I know I really took a crazy turn here sharing that story.

• 10:41Mae Martin?

  That's insane, cuz it's one of those things that they tell you is so rare and will never happen and-

• 10:46Tig Notaro?

  Right, except for small planes. And I don't know how small this jet was, but it was private. His, his, his friend's dad was a huge, huge like tech CEO. And, um, yeah, anyway.

• 11:02Mae Martin?

  Who was flying the, was the pilot also?

• 11:05Tig Notaro?

  Uh, only the, the, his friend's dad died.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 11:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but like people were trying to, you can see it on, online. There's footage of the wreck.

• 11:16Mae Martin?

  God.

• 11:17Tig Notaro?

  But anyway, um-

• 11:18Mae Martin?

  That's, I mean, where do you even start to get over that kinda trauma?

• 11:23Tig Notaro?

  I know.

• 11:24Mae Martin?

  You gotta start, luckily, we know these days a bit more about Trump. Like, I would start right away, EMDR, like-

• 11:31Tig Notaro?

  Not just him, but my cousin, my family, like, like the, the loop they're in of like, if he had not gotten out.

• 11:40Mae Martin?

  Is he injured?

• 11:41Tig Notaro?

  Um, not that I know of.

• 11:44Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 11:45Tig Notaro?

  I, you know, I'm embarrassed to say, I didn't even ask that.

• 11:50Mae Martin?

  No, I mean, I'm sure they would've said if it was, yeah.

• 11:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, there wasn't, it doesn't seem like there was anything of note. I've made up in my mind that his friend's dad was not buckled in his seatbelt.

• 12:02Mae Martin?

  That's helpful to be like, there's a concrete reason. Cuz, oh my god.

• 12:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:07Mae Martin?

  Okay, no small planes.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  No, no private jet. Should we get to questions?

• 12:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, sure, yeah.

• 12:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:16Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 12:17Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm. Really, really wild, intense stuff.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Hi Fortune, May and Tig. I said that in alphabetical order, so as not to offend anybody. My name is Elizabeth and in your episode with my favorite cisgender white male comedian, Penn Oswalt, you said that you had hoped for a question from a newscaster in Omaha. But I hope you're okay with a question from an oncology nurse in Omaha. And my question is, do you have a recurring dream? And if so, what do you think it means?

• 12:53Mae Martin?

  Oh, interesting, um, Elizabeth. Do you, Tig, do you have any memory of us asking for a question from a newscaster in Omaha?

• 13:01Tig Notaro?

  I don't have any memory of anything.

• 13:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, same.

• 13:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 13:06Mae Martin?

  I love that we did-

• 13:07Tig Notaro?

  It's tough being out in the world when people remember things.

• 13:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Tig Notaro?

  And we don't, um-

• 13:13Mae Martin?

  An oncology nurse, wow.

• 13:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't thi- first of all, thank you for your service. Second of all, I don't really, when I was little, I had a recurring dream. And I think it was from watching or reading, I guess probably reading uh, or being read to, um, Alice in Wonderland. Because I had a recurring dream where I would walk towards a house and I was the same size as the house, but as I got closer to the door, I fit in and walked into the house.

• 13:46Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow, that's cool.

• 13:47Tig Notaro?

  But nothing shifted. I, I couldn't figure out what was happening. So I would have that dream a bunch when I was like, under five years old.

• 13:56Mae Martin?

  Was there anything in the house or was more about the-

• 13:58Tig Notaro?

  No, it was more just like, I'm heading towards the door, I'm heading towards the door. Oh, and by the way, go to Hulu, you're not gonna wanna miss what I'm doing right now. Am I right, May?

• 14:07Mae Martin?

  Oh, this is incredible, you're, yeah.

• 14:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, go to Hulu, um, I'm headed towards the door, house, the door, and then I fit in. So-

• 14:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, that seems directly Alice in Wonderland, for sure.

• 14:21Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 14:22Mae Martin?

  My recurring dream is that my grandmother-

• 14:25Tig Notaro?

  Also, I think it means nothing. She asked if we thought it meant anything.

• 14:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, that me, yeah, I mean, uh, well, you're having to shrink yourself to be yourself at home.

• 14:38Tig Notaro?

  Ow!

• 14:39Mae Martin?

  Sorry Tig, but-

• 14:43Tig Notaro?

  So you don't think I was just, um, trying to sort out, um-

• 14:49Mae Martin?

  The Alice in Wonderland moment?

• 14:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, just like, hmm, space and-

• 14:55Mae Martin?

  Crunching numbers?

• 14:58Tig Notaro?

  No, it's, I had to shrink myself, okay, whatever it is.

• 15:03Mae Martin?

  Um, I, currently, the, the thing that comes up the most is that my grandma has faked her own death. And I find that out, uh, this is my grandma who I was close to, the British one. I find out that she's faked her own death. And so I'm like, calling her, trying to get ahold of her. And I'm like, I usually go and see her and she's like, where have you been? And I'm like, I thought you were dead. And she's like, nobody called me. And I'm like, you faked your own death? And she's like, it's this, it's guilt and like, I should've been more involved. And, uh, yeah, often she's like, can't walk properly and I'm carrying her around.

• 15:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh my goodness.

• 15:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, or she's in some weird apartment, like hoarding and, yeah. I don't, and then people are like, hey, if you dream about a loved one, that's them sending you a message. And I do not like that idea, cuz every time it's very-

• 15:55Tig Notaro?

  Terrible message.

• 15:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's like, hey, I'm still here. I'm alive and you were, you should be looking after me. So, I don't know.

• 16:04Tig Notaro?

  What does that mean?

• 16:06Mae Martin?

  I don't know.

• 16:07Tig Notaro?

  You have to shrink yourself to live in your house.

• 16:10Mae Martin?

  I think it means I have to shrink myself to feel comfortable at home. I think it's a sort of, um, savior complex martyrdom, like family, family shame. Yeah.

• 16:26Tig Notaro?

  Should we go to our next question?

• 16:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, let's hear Elizabeth's answer.

• 16:29Tig Notaro?

  Oh, oh, that's what I mean. Should we see what Elizabeth has to say?

• 16:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  My recurring dream is that I'm either in my high school musical, high school show choir, or community theater play. And I'm either late to rehearsal, forgot about rehearsal, missed my cue, all sorts of things like that. And I think what it means is that I really need to get back into doing musicals again. And not just when I'm singing around my house to myself. Um, but I think I'm gonna have to wait to do that till my kids are a little bit older. Keep it handsome.

• 17:01Mae Martin?

  I like that.

• 17:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'd lo- I'd love, uh, once you get back into it, Elizabeth, send us some footage of the big night.

• 17:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, please. I hope it's all, maybe all the oncology nurses can, can write an original musical or put one on.

• 17:18Tig Notaro?

  I don't think that's gonna happen, May.

• 17:21Mae Martin?

  Why? Too busy?

• 17:23Tig Notaro?

  I just didn't get the feeling from the message that it was something she was doing with her, um, oncology floor.

• 17:32Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 17:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Maybe she could put one on with the, with her kids, get them involved.

• 17:38Tig Notaro?

  I think that's easier than to loop in a bunch of adult-

• 17:43Mae Martin?

  Stressed out adult nurses who may or may not have any interest.

• 17:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, that are dealing with cancer and-

• 17:51Mae Martin?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:52Tig Notaro?

  I, I mean, if, listen, Elizabeth, if you can pull that together, then seriously get that to us.

• 17:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah, cuz that is a, a USP that I'm into.

• 18:03Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm, what's USP?

• 18:05Mae Martin?

  Uh, I don't know, unique selling point.

• 18:07Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yes, USP. All right, thank you, Elizabeth. And, uh, what else do we have?

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Hey, May, Tig and Fortune. Fortune, I'm coming to see you in Portland, Oregon this upcoming September. This is Sonia calling from Portland, Oregon. And I have a rather silly question for you guys. If you could be any fruit, what fruit would you be?

• 18:38Mae Martin?

  Sonia, excellent question. I don't know why that seemed to really stress us both out. We both felt very quiet.

• 18:45Tig Notaro?

  Well, I immediately went to a kiwi.

• 18:50Mae Martin?

  Wow. Nature's testicle.

• 18:54Tig Notaro?

  May, why are you trying to ruin my life as a kiwi?

• 19:00Mae Martin?

  Well, I think because you picked the most unattractive fruit. It's fuzzy and brown.

• 19:06Tig Notaro?

  But it's so delicious. A golden kiwi? Have we talked about this?

• 19:10Mae Martin?

  Never had one. I think I'm allergic, but that's my own diagnosis.

• 19:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Okay, well.

• 19:17Mae Martin?

  What's a golden kiwi?

• 19:18Tig Notaro?

  They're yellow inside rather than green. Green is like, right now, it's hurting my mouth talking about it and I'm salivating.

• 19:27Mae Martin?

  Same.

• 19:28Tig Notaro?

  Not in a good way. The green ones are, they're too much for me. I loved them as a kid. As I got older, can't do it. Golden kiwi, get out of my way. It is just perfection. And yeah, and so, I don't know. I guess I'm thinking if it's cold, I'm inside, I have a little bit of fur blowing in the wind. And if I get hungry, I can just eat myself because I am a gold, golden kiwi.

• 19:59Mae Martin?

  That's a pretty good slogan for golden kiwis.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Yeah.

• 20:03Mae Martin?

  Um, okay. Oh, man. I just don't want to be something that ripens too fast, like a banana. To me is, you're not long for the world. There's no, nothing solid there. I want, I'd be a stone fruit.

• 20:19Tig Notaro?

  What fruit is long for the world?

• 20:22Mae Martin?

  Well, longer than a banana, like, I like an avocado. That's a fruit, right?

• 20:29Tig Notaro?

  Those ripen and are out the door when you blink.

• 20:34Mae Martin?

  I know you're right, but it has, at least it has a stone inside. Maybe I, I mean, I think plums are probably the sexiest of the fruits. But I'm gonna go avocado.

• 20:47Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 20:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Because I used to read this kid's book called Avocado Baby when I was a kid about a baby that eats avocados and it gets so strong. Anyway.

• 21:02Tig Notaro?

  Oh, Sonia, what would you be?

• 21:05Speaker 03

  My answer, I would probably be a dragon fruit because I look a little wild and crazy on the outside. But on the inside, I'm actually rather sweet and mellow. And some people are surprised by that. Thanks a lot for all you guys do. You are the best. You make my morning all the time and I love listening to you. See you soon, Fortune.

• 21:29Tig Notaro?

  Well, thanks for listening to us. Hearing that makes our morning and our afternoon and our evening. Good night.

• 21:39Mae Martin?

  You've said good night about three times in this one. Goodbye, I'm Tig.

• 21:42Tig Notaro?

  And goodbye.

• 21:44Mae Martin?

  It's funny how you hear a voice and you're, as soon as she said, I look wild and crazy on the outside, I was like, oh, I've got to picture someone completely different now.

• 21:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Mae Martin?

  What is that? Now I'm picturing like Albert Einstein, like crazy hair and.

• 21:59Tig Notaro?

  Sonia, will you send in, is it Sonia or Sonia?

• 22:02Speaker 04

  I think it was Sonia.

• 22:04Tig Notaro?

  Sonia. Okay, Sonia. I've known both, Sonias and Sonias.

• 22:10Mae Martin?

  I only, I went to a psychic called Psychic Sonia.

• 22:13Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay. Psychic Sonia?

• 22:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:15Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 22:16Mae Martin?

  And she wasn't.

• 22:18Tig Notaro?

  She wasn't?

• 22:19Mae Martin?

  No.

• 22:21Tig Notaro?

  We should set up, put this on the list, a psychic, like we should rent a space, like where it's like 24 hour psychic. And we each take turns and we just do our best.

• 22:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, and we're the psychic?

• 22:35Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes.

• 22:36Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 22:37Tig Notaro?

  Yes, sir.

• 22:37Mae Martin?

  For the general public?

• 22:39Tig Notaro?

  Anybody that will come in and pay us 20 bones.

• 22:44Mae Martin?

  That's great.

• 22:45Tig Notaro?

  I mean, how much does it normally cost?

• 22:47Mae Martin?

  Dude, on the, on the strip there, you go in, it's like 40 bucks for a reading. Then they're saying, oh, you are in trouble. Like, if you want me to clear this, it's $400 for a package.

• 22:57Tig Notaro?

  Okay, we'll do that too. We'll clear things.

• 22:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we'll clear things and we'll sell packages.

• 23:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 23:03Mae Martin?

  I'd like, I'd like to see a psychic with the three of us. Like, I mean, if we can get Fortune to get us in with Tyler Henry, the psychic medium. He just posted a video where he's sitting on a chair and, you know, Fortune had the reading on, on his TV show and it was really accurate. He talked about her, her uncles and everything.

• 23:21Tig Notaro?

  Vaguely sounds familiar.

• 23:23Mae Martin?

  He posted a video and he's sitting on a chair in the kitchen and he's doing some paranormal experiment.

• 23:27Tig Notaro?

  Wait, is he the one that scribbles on a notepad?

• 23:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:30Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 23:31Mae Martin?

  And all of a sudden, his whole stool moves with him on it goes, and I just look at that and then keep scrolling, go about my day. But then I'm like, wait, was, he can't, is he just faking? Like, or did I just see a stool with a man move?

• 23:48Tig Notaro?

  You know what you could do?

• 23:50Mae Martin?

  What?

• 23:50Tig Notaro?

  Go back to his page and look.

• 23:54Mae Martin?

  But I won't get any clarity. I mean, it looks.

• 23:57Tig Notaro?

  Maybe write him.

• 23:59Mae Martin?

  And say, hey, was that real or fake?

• 24:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:02Mae Martin?

  And what if he's like, yeah, I haven't told anyone this, but it's all fake. Yeah. I'd like to see him though.

• 24:09Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well.

• 24:10Mae Martin?

  Well, that was a pleasure as usual. Lovely to see you, Tig.

• 24:14Tig Notaro?

  Lovely to see you too, kid.

• 24:16Mae Martin?

  Please keep submitting your questions. And if you need any advice on anything, we want to give it to you. Go to speakpipe.com/hansampod. I'm at Largo tomorrow night on August 22nd in LA. But other than that, I'm just kicking around writing. What about you?

• 24:34Tig Notaro?

  I'm just touring around, you know, and Tignotaro.com is where you can hear or find all of my tour dates. I think we should wrap it up right here. What do you say?

• 24:47Mae Martin?

  Let's do it.

• 24:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, until next time, keep it pretty handsome.

• 24:53Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolette. Email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 25:10Speaker 05

  What a podcast. What a podcast.

• 25:16Speaker 05

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.