Pretty Little Episode #31

Fortune and Tig design their own action figures and swap sibling stories on a super sweet Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is streaming LIVE from Austin April 12! Get your tickets here https://www.squadup.com/events/handsome-streaming-live-from-austin. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the program before sitting down to enjoy a school play? I'm in shambles. Turns out there's no intermission during this three-hour Shakespeare adaptation, and I really need to go to the bathroom.

• 0:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:03Mae Martin?

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• 1:21Fortune Feimster?

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• 1:53Mae Martin?

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• 2:16Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode.

• 2:18Tig Notaro?

  God, that gets me every time. I'm never expecting, "Pretty little episode."

• 2:23Fortune Feimster?

  I know, and it's such a catchy tune.

• 2:25Tig Notaro?

  It really is. We are such talents.

• 2:28Fortune Feimster?

  Gosh.

• 2:29Tig Notaro?

  Gosh, look at us. I know it. We're some of the best, if not the three best.

• 2:34Fortune Feimster?

  The best in the biz.

• 2:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but you only have two of us, two of the best, and Mr. Thomas, of course, here.

• 2:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, welcome to our pretty little episode. I'm Fortune Feimster.

• 2:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh, right, and I'm Tig Notaro.

• 2:47Fortune Feimster?

  How you doing, bud?

• 2:48Tig Notaro?

  I'm doing all right. I'm doing okay. Just, um, what am I doing? God.

• 2:57Fortune Feimster?

  I know, I'm like...

• 2:59Tig Notaro?

  I'm like... Yeah, it's, I, you know, I'm home from Toronto and home from doing Star Trek.

• 3:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:07Tig Notaro?

  It's just so incredible, deeply incredible, to just be back in my life, you know? And that is not to say that I did not enjoy being in my Toronto life.

• 3:22Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:23Tig Notaro?

  But it's just a whole different feeling to be in your own bed and see my little Cubs. Finn has braces. Just things are changing. Yeah.

• 3:34Fortune Feimster?

  Well, yeah, it's like when you're filming, you kind of, it kind of feels like you're in an alternate universe. That like life, real life is kind of paused.

• 3:41Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:41Fortune Feimster?

  And it is that, such a nice feeling to get back home and get a routine again.

• 3:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and speaking of routines, how's your new routine going? Are you excited about your new material?

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's going good. I'm, I'm just weeks away from starting the theaters. I can't believe it's already here. When I started, it's funny that this is, was my break. There was no real break, other than I wasn't on a massive tour.

• 4:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:08Fortune Feimster?

  But it was filled with many other things.

• 4:11Tig Notaro?

  Isn't that, I always marvel over that. It's like, you're, you know, I was filming for six months. I put mostly everything on hold.

• 4:20Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:20Tig Notaro?

  And then as soon as I wrap production... My entire calendar fills right up and I'm on quote unquote break.

• 4:30Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's a life of, that's the life of a stand up because we just don't do one thing. But it's all luckily, it's all good stuff. Like we love doing this.

• 4:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:42Fortune Feimster?

  You're ready to go retire.

• 4:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So I'm, I'm excited for it. It's, it'll be good to just get back on the road and make people laugh. You know, I, I love that feeling. I want to try to be healthier though. I want to try to maintain like not. My last tour, I just, the first like year of it, I just like was not taking good care of myself and I really want to prioritize that.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  What kind of shift are you wanting to make or shifts?

• 5:11Fortune Feimster?

  Just not eating like crap the whole time, you know, like and, and not eating after the show. If I can get in like a, even a light, like 30 minute walk and uh, moving my body.

• 5:25Tig Notaro?

  Yep.

• 5:26Fortune Feimster?

  Um, just, just not blowing up.

• 5:29Tig Notaro?

  Well, you're looking trim.

• 5:31Fortune Feimster?

  Thanks. I mean, I had time to, you know, be at home and tread water. I've been doing that still.

• 5:38Tig Notaro?

  Are you really?

• 5:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I mean, um.

• 5:42Tig Notaro?

  Be honest with me.

• 5:42Fortune Feimster?

  I am at least a couple of times a week. Two, two, two minimum is what I um, try to go for.

• 5:49Tig Notaro?

  Fortune.

• 5:50Fortune Feimster?

  Four max, two minimum.

• 5:52Tig Notaro?

  That is so cool.

• 5:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It's just a good escape to like, to like med, like meditative type thing for me.

• 6:00Tig Notaro?

  No doubt. Same. I haven't done it in a while.

• 6:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 6:05Tig Notaro?

  And so I'm hoping to uh, get back into that as well.

• 6:09Fortune Feimster?

  You gotta.

• 6:10Tig Notaro?

  But I am a little curious about your new material. Like how and when, are you doing any shows in LA before you head out?

• 6:18Fortune Feimster?

  I'm doing um, Pasadena this Sunday and Largo this Monday.

• 6:22Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 6:23Fortune Feimster?

  There's uh, mom stuff again. There's a couple of Jack's things. Um, several childhood stories again. And then a story about my dad. I haven't talked about him much. I'm, I'm still looking for like two stories. But I don't want them to be about my family or my childhood or Jack's. I just want them to be too independent. Something other than that kind of story, but I don't know what those are yet.

• 6:52Tig Notaro?

  And is the story about your dad, I'm your father. I'm your father.

• 6:57Fortune Feimster?

  No, it's a, it's a story about him going through a midlife crisis.

• 7:02Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:03Fortune Feimster?

  Cause I realized I'm the age now that my parents were when they divorced.

• 7:09Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 7:10Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't that weird?

• 7:11Tig Notaro?

  That is wild.

• 7:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, because I-

• 7:13Tig Notaro?

  How old are you? Forty-four?

• 7:15Fortune Feimster?

  Forty-four and I really thought they were so old when that happened.

• 7:23Fortune Feimster?

  But it made me, it really put a lot of things into perspective of like, oh my gosh.

• 7:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:29Fortune Feimster?

  Cause you, you know, I don't feel young, but I don't feel old. And it just made me go, wow, if I, that happened to me with three kids and a lot of financial responsibilities, I would, I wouldn't necessarily know how to handle that either. And they, they kind of had to, you know, trial and error, had to make some mistakes in order to sort of find the path. And I guess it makes me sort of acknowledge the, the journey not being easy.

• 8:01Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's really, it's really insane to think about how much younger, like Max and Finn were talking about that. Like Max randomly said, what is the normal age to have kids? And Finn just chimed in immediately and said, thirty-eight. And it's like, first of all, you're kind of right. But also where did that come from? Yeah, in LA. But it, you know, it definitely is trending in that direction where people are having, getting married and having kids older. Of course, there are certainly people that are doing it young as well. But that was the thing to do is get married, have kids right out of the gate.

• 8:47Tig Notaro?

  And I cannot believe, even like Stephanie blows my mind how she just walked into motherhood. Like, I don't want to say no big deal, but I, she just seemed, I, I would marvel. I was, you know, I'm fifteen years older and I would, I would be like, I'm tripping all over myself and she just seems so, she's got it.

• 9:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 9:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's really impressive. I mean, she was thirty when we had Max and Finn. But anyway, yeah, it's, I think about that Adele song. What is it? Basically, she's asking, I think the song is about her singing to her child, like.

• 9:31Fortune Feimster?

  I'm sure I know which one, but it's not coming to me.

• 9:33Tig Notaro?

  It's like her most recent hit.

• 9:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:36Tig Notaro?

  Um, I have to.

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  Go easy on me?

• 9:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, go, yes, okay. Go easy on me, because it's basically like, I was doing my best, like singing that to her kid. I think that's what the song is.

• 9:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:48Tig Notaro?

  Is like, go easy on me. I, I made the best decisions. I, I was all from love and, and I, I fumbled.

• 9:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you know, it's the life. These things come your way and no age makes it easy, but.

• 10:03Tig Notaro?

  No, no.

• 10:04Fortune Feimster?

  Definitely is interesting to look back on it and the difference that being where I'm at now going, okay.

• 10:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:11Fortune Feimster?

  I get it.

• 10:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, same, same Z's. Ten years older than you. Um, but, well, cool. I, I can't wait to hear your new material and.

• 10:22Fortune Feimster?

  Thanks. Shall we hear some questions from our pre-woke listeners?

• 10:26Tig Notaro?

  I think we should mainly because that's what we're here to do.

• 10:29Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Hit us, Mr. T.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Hello, handsome's. This is Goldie from the Bay Area. Here's my question. If you were an action figure, what would come with you and what would be sold separately?

• 10:42Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well.

• 10:43Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa. Do you have an action figure?

• 10:45Tig Notaro?

  After I did that zombie movie, Army of the Dead, um, they had sent me action figures for my character that they were making. I think there was like a game and an action. Like there was a whole thing, but I never saw it again, but I have a picture of what my action figure was going to look like. I was kind of hoping I was going to end up an action figure, uh, since I'm on Star Trek, but that hasn't happened.

• 11:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I was wondering that.

• 11:14Tig Notaro?

  And then somebody made a bobblehead of me and sent it to me.

• 11:20Fortune Feimster?

  I want a Tig bobblehead.

• 11:21Tig Notaro?

  I was gonna say, I'll give it to you, but I like it.

• 11:25Fortune Feimster?

  Keep that.

• 11:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. I think just me as Tig in the world as an action figure, I guess I'd probably be walking around with a microphone because of stand up and podcasting. Or maybe I'd have like a boom microphone over me as well.

• 11:46Tig Notaro?

  And probably an apple. I eat an apple every day. I love Honeycrisp apples. I'd have a microphone and an apple and I'd eat that apple right on the microphone and drive you batty.

• 12:04Fortune Feimster?

  I've never had an action figure, but I am doing a voice in Zootopia 2 and I have been told I will have a plush toy.

• 12:13Tig Notaro?

  Nice. You deserve it. If anyone deserves a plush toy, it is you, my friend.

• 12:19Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm playing a beaver.

• 12:20Tig Notaro?

  Of course you are. Of course you are. Isn't that amazing? Yes.

• 12:31Fortune Feimster?

  So I'm very excited for that. It comes out later at the end of this year.

• 12:35Tig Notaro?

  No, that's so fun.

• 12:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think it does. I can't remember what they decided.

• 12:41Tig Notaro?

  That's not your business to know. You're the star. You walk in, you do your thing, you walk out a toy.

• 12:46Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. If I was an action figure, though, I think this would be my, um, what did, what do you call it?

• 12:55Tig Notaro?

  Accessory?

• 12:56Fortune Feimster?

  My accessory would be Biggie.

• 12:58Tig Notaro?

  Of course.

• 12:59Fortune Feimster?

  It would be a little Biggie and we would fight crime together.

• 13:05Tig Notaro?

  That's really scary. Oh, my gosh.

• 13:09Fortune Feimster?

  For those of you listening, Biggie is with me and he's karate chopping.

• 13:15Tig Notaro?

  Or you can go directly to YouTube and see it straight away. It is some scary moves. I would have to also, I forgot to say what I would sell separately.

• 13:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 13:25Tig Notaro?

  It would have to be Kitty City. Kitty City's gonna be standing around me and my apple and the microphone.

• 13:35Fortune Feimster?

  Biggie's looking at me like, really? You got me out of my bed for that?

• 13:40Tig Notaro?

  For those lame karate chops?

• 13:42Fortune Feimster?

  He's like, just let me sleep already. What would be sold separately?

• 13:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 13:48Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my action figure would have its own pair of Crocs, but you could like, uh, change them out for other colors. And you could put, decorate the Crocs and stuff. That would be sold separately.

• 14:03Tig Notaro?

  That is sexy.

• 14:05Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, would fight crime in Crocs.

• 14:07Tig Notaro?

  Let's hear Goldie's answer. I love your name, Goldie.

• 14:10Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm. Keep it Goldie.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  My answer is, in my action figure package, I would be sold with my reading glasses, my library card and my e-reader. And sold separately would be all the books. Uh, one of my favorite books of the 302 books that I read last year was Interesting Facts About Space by Emily Austin. Uh, I kept picturing May as the main character. So it's kind of fun. Uh, I also loved May's book and Tig's book. So Fortune, please write a book.

• 14:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you're gonna write a book, Fortune?

• 14:42Fortune Feimster?

  I'd like to, one day.

• 14:44Tig Notaro?

  Knew it.

• 14:45Fortune Feimster?

  I think so. She read 302 books in a year?

• 14:49Tig Notaro?

  I mean, let's be honest, and this is a, this is a compliment. Goldie is a nerd alert and so is Mr. Thomas. Thomas reads, you, you read a book a week, don't you, Thomas?

• 15:01Mae Martin?

  I try to, yeah. I fell a bit behind that pace, but I try.

• 15:04Tig Notaro?

  Well, you're a busy guy, but yeah. Thomas is full blown nerd alert.

• 15:09Fortune Feimster?

  Wow, I can't, my mom loves to read. She can read a book a week as well. Um, I can't read that fast. But my, my grandmother was also that way. They both were just, could not get enough of books.

• 15:20Tig Notaro?

  And you're like, I am my own person.

• 15:23Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I have a little bit of ADD. Um, so I'll start reading and then just go off into the clouds.

• 15:29Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 15:31Fortune Feimster?

  So I have to really, really concentrate.

• 15:34Tig Notaro?

  Well, we won't keep you long. Let's get to the next question so you can go back into the clouds.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  Hello, Fortune, May and Tig. Yes, she insists on singing. This is the siblings Eleanor and Madeline from New Jersey. We have a question for you. What is something your sibling introduced you to that changed your life?

• 15:54Tig Notaro?

  Uh, we've never had siblings ask us anything before.

• 15:57Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 15:58Tig Notaro?

  This is our first sibling duo.

• 16:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yes. I have two older brothers, so I was always introduced to, most things I found out about were through them in childhood. Like, my brother, both my brothers introduced me to a lot of music. I don't know that I, my tastes would have been anything other than New Kids on the Block. Had they not played different, cooler music. I think my love of sports and playing sports in particular came from my oldest brother, Price. He introduced me to tennis and he would, I don't think I would have gotten into tennis otherwise. And I ended up playing my whole

• 16:43Fortune Feimster?

  life and through college and in LA for many years.

• 16:47Tig Notaro?

  So they basically made you gay?

• 16:49Fortune Feimster?

  They made me gay, you guys. They made me tougher because they would beat the crap out of me, too.

• 16:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:00Fortune Feimster?

  But yeah, I think they definitely helped shape at least some of my interests.

• 17:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, same, same, same. I feel like, I don't know if my brother introduced me to Richard Pryor. We both found him together, but we just loved him so much. And we were both very into, well, he didn't introduce me to the Beatles or anything, but we were both very into the whole British Invasion of rock. Soccer, we were both wildly into soccer as kids. And I think similarly to you, shaping and, but we were, you know, only like a year apart.

• 17:40Fortune Feimster?

  And were you guys close growing up or closer when you got older?

• 17:44Tig Notaro?

  Well, we were definitely close, but we definitely would fight. And I think I've talked on the podcast about how I would swing my monkey around to defend myself because my monkey had a hard, plastic face and hard, plastic hands. But we really drifted in like junior high, high school days. And then when he went off to college and when my mother forced my coming out party while he was driving us in his Jeep, then we became closer. He went on his radio show and talked about.

• 18:29Tig Notaro?

  The fact that I was gay and, and really supported me and, and has.

• 18:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's awesome. My brothers were never, um, big comedy guys. So I, that was, that was the one hobby that I did not get exposed to from them. That we, we did not really know much about stand up or listen to stand ups or anything like that. So I had to discover that one on my own.

• 18:55Tig Notaro?

  You discovered comedy on your own?

• 18:57Fortune Feimster?

  On my own. I was like, I discovered comedy. This is pretty cool.

• 19:01Tig Notaro?

  Themester discovers comedy.

• 19:05Fortune Feimster?

  But my brothers weren't very like art, artsy guys. They're just like more, uh, sporty guys, I guess.

• 19:12Tig Notaro?

  There were things that like my brother would do that I remember doing because he did them.

• 19:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 19:18Tig Notaro?

  Uh, he would draw motorcycles.

• 19:20Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 19:21Tig Notaro?

  And so I would, I'd start, I started drawing mo-, he had a sketchbook where he would draw different kinds of motorcycles. And I was like, oh yeah, me too.

• 19:31Fortune Feimster?

  And then you ended up getting some.

• 19:32Tig Notaro?

  How funny. We got a question from Goldie and that is my motorcycle's name, Goldie Honda.

• 19:38Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 19:39Tig Notaro?

  Kurt Russell is the other.

• 19:42Fortune Feimster?

  Let's hear Eleanor and Madeline's answer.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  Okay. Something our siblings introduced us to that changed our life would be? Music. Yes, music. Borrowed and stolen, burned mix CDs passed from sibling to sibling has led to shared music tastes, which has led to shared music experiences because we go to as many concerts as we possibly can. Who did we see this year, Madeline? Saves the day, say anything. Mom jeans and, uh,

• 20:11Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  Love ya. Bye.

• 20:12Tig Notaro?

  Wow. Eleanor and Madeline don't waste time. They're just like, here's the answer. We gotta go. We got a concert to get to.

• 20:20Fortune Feimster?

  They have cool tastes in music, it seems.

• 20:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:23Fortune Feimster?

  Those, I don't know some of those bands, but they sound cool. This is why I wish I'd had, I didn't want a sister. I feel like sisters do things like that.

• 20:31Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 20:32Fortune Feimster?

  Go to concerts together and send handsome questions together.

• 20:36Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, you sound straight.

• 20:38Fortune Feimster?

  I'm so straight with my sister.

• 20:41Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. Me and my sister are so straight and we're going to a concert.

• 20:45Fortune Feimster?

  We're so straight, my sister and I.

• 20:47Tig Notaro?

  You know what? I have sisters. I just wasn't, I wasn't raised with them. I was gonna say, I don't have sisters, but I do. Um, my apologies, sisters. But yeah, we were, the huge gap in age. And, um, we didn't, we just were not around each other. But, um, I was, I, I'm happy. I, I just had my brother. I think we were like, definitely on the same page with basically all of our interests, except I did secretly play with Barbies with my roughly underwear on. But anyway, um,

• 21:25Tig Notaro?

  well, uh, that was fun catching up with you, Fortune and with Eleanor, Madeline and old Goldie.

• 21:32Fortune Feimster?

  Goldie.

• 21:33Tig Notaro?

  Goldie. And everyone, if you could submit your question and answer at speakpipe.com/hansampod, we would appreciate it. We love getting your questions. And remember to subscribe and, um, to the podcast and the audio as well as YouTube and share episodes with friends. Let's keep building this very handsome community.

• 21:59Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it. Always love hearing these, uh, question and answers.

• 22:04Tig Notaro?

  I thought you were gonna say, I always love hearing your voice.

• 22:06Fortune Feimster?

  And I love your voice, Tig. I love your voice.

• 22:12Tig Notaro?

  With your Tig old biddies.

• 22:16Fortune Feimster?

  They're in a dumpster.

• 22:21Tig Notaro?

  Well, all that's left to tell our friends is to?

• 22:25Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 22:47Tig Notaro?

  What a podcast.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.