Pretty Little Episode #17

Tig and Mae talk woodland critters and perfect days on a pretty handsome, handsomely pretty little episode! *** Handsome has a live-streaming holi-bobs show Dec 21! Tickets at dynastytypewriter.com http://dynastytypewriter.com/ *** Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Mae Martin?

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• 0:18Fortune Feimster?

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• 0:50Mae Martin?

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• 1:15Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:46Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode.

• 1:51Tig Notaro?

  It takes me by surprise every time.

• 1:55Tig Notaro?

  Every single time.

• 1:56Mae Martin?

  It's a delight every time.

• 1:58Tig Notaro?

  It is. At first, it's not a delight. It's just flat out shocking that it's a pretty little episode.

• 2:05Mae Martin?

  I know. I don't even, I don't remember ever recording that even.

• 2:08Tig Notaro?

  I don't either. I don't believe it's us.

• 2:10Mae Martin?

  I don't think so either.

• 2:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:12Mae Martin?

  Tig, do you always feel a little bit like we're having like a clandestine meeting?

• 2:17Tig Notaro?

  Every single time.

• 2:18Mae Martin?

  Every, yeah. I don't, I just feel like we're cheating every time.

• 2:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. I think people saw it happening, though. I think they saw it coming between the two of, the two of us.

• 2:30Mae Martin?

  The eagle-eyed, the eagle-eyed were noticing little

• 2:33Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 2:34Mae Martin?

  Glances.

• 2:36Tig Notaro?

  Now, on a, on a real note, who, who would be the ones out of the three of us that would hook up? Like, really, who? Who?

• 2:47Mae Martin?

  Hmm. That's a really good question. I think, I think I could flirt with Fortune till the cows come home and she wouldn't know that I was flirting with her. Like, it wouldn't even occur to her. Whereas, I feel like if I went hard on you, there, I might, there might be some cracks I could get in there. Like, you might at least know what I was doing. Not cracks in your relationship, but you'd be like, okay.

• 3:11Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 3:12Mae Martin?

  And then the ball would be in your court.

• 3:14Tig Notaro?

  So you feel like you could break me down a bit?

• 3:17Mae Martin?

  I think at least I'd get in your head. You'd be, you'd be falling asleep at night thinking, that was weird today.

• 3:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Interesting. What was that about?

• 3:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:29Tig Notaro?

  And how would you flirt with me to, you know, because we're, we're coworkers and we don't really hang out too much because we're in different countries. So how are you going to make this known to me?

• 3:43Mae Martin?

  Okay, it's going to start with just-

• 3:44Tig Notaro?

  We're Zoom coworkers.

• 3:46Mae Martin?

  Okay, this is how it's going to start.

• 3:47Tig Notaro?

  And Thomas is always there.

• 3:50Mae Martin?

  He's always the bearing witness.

• 3:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And he's got headphones on, listening, and he's got a camera watching. So how are you going to get in here with me?

• 3:58Mae Martin?

  Okay, first, we're going to log on to do a regular episode. So Fortune's here, Thomas is here, you're here. And, and weirdly, I just, I only say hi to you. I go, hi Tig. Like, that's how it starts.

• 4:11Tig Notaro?

  And you completely ignore Fortune?

• 4:13Mae Martin?

  Well, later, you know, I'm chatting, but you, just a little, hi Tig.

• 4:17Tig Notaro?

  And then that'll get in my head. I'll be like, wow, I wonder why May didn't say hi to Fortune.

• 4:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. And then it might, because we're in different cities, it might be little handwritten things appear in the mail from a secret admirer.

• 4:30Tig Notaro?

  Really? And you think the high TIG and then me getting handwritten top secret stuff in my mailbox, I'd connect the two?

• 4:39Mae Martin?

  Hmm. I don't know if the high TIG would be enough.

• 4:42Tig Notaro?

  That's a stretch because I'm, it takes a lot for me. You basically have to say, I like you.

• 4:49Mae Martin?

  Okay. Well, that's where that would be my next step.

• 4:52Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I told you my, the secret. Now, now I'm vulnerable.

• 4:57Mae Martin?

  How would you flirt with me?

• 5:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 5:02Mae Martin?

  And let's say this has really lodged itself in your mind. And for some reason, you've decided this is the right move.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  Well, here's how I think I flirt with everyone.

• 5:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:12Tig Notaro?

  But also it's what I do to people I'm not even flirting with, which is I tease them.

• 5:18Mae Martin?

  I know, I know. And so I wouldn't distinguish. I might be like, oh, TIG's going really hard on me.

• 5:24Tig Notaro?

  Do you?

• 5:25Mae Martin?

  Giggling, I'd be laughing.

• 5:28Tig Notaro?

  You'd be giggling.

• 5:29Mae Martin?

  I would be giggling like a schoolgirl.

• 5:31Tig Notaro?

  Okay. And then, um, do you tease people when you're, when you're, um, trying to get something going on?

• 5:37Mae Martin?

  I do, but also usually the people that I'm going for have a, are sort of high status, like, and they're the ones making fun of me. And so I just kind of, I fall into that role and then I kind of amp it up.

• 5:51Tig Notaro?

  Okay, okay.

• 5:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:53Tig Notaro?

  I've been accused of flirting with people that I wasn't flirting with.

• 5:57Mae Martin?

  Cause you were making fun of them in a really charming way.

• 6:00Tig Notaro?

  I just like, I don't know if it was charming. I think it might've been relentless. No, not bullying, but just like, oh my God, there's certain personalities. You just,

• 6:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:12Tig Notaro?

  You can't stop me. Like I, I cannot, I can't be stopped.

• 6:17Mae Martin?

  I mean, there is something nice. When someone makes fun of you, it's like they see you, you know, they're, they're paying extra attention. They're noticing your weird little quirks and stuff.

• 6:27Tig Notaro?

  For sure, for sure.

• 6:29Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 6:29Tig Notaro?

  And, and your normal little quirks.

• 6:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:32Tig Notaro?

  Normal and weird quirks.

• 6:33Mae Martin?

  Okay. So I'd kind of noticed that you were doing that more than usual.

• 6:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:38Mae Martin?

  And then how, how would you cross the line? How would you?

• 6:42Tig Notaro?

  How would I get this going on?

• 6:44Mae Martin?

  Like a late night text, you up?

• 6:49Mae Martin?

  It's 1 a.m.

• 6:50Tig Notaro?

  Uh, well, yeah, I guess I might be up because I do have trouble sleeping.

• 6:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:55Tig Notaro?

  So, um, maybe I would just text you and say, hi, May.

• 7:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, that would honestly be like, I, that's a really cool move.

• 7:11Mae Martin?

  I'd be like, take notice my high tick.

• 7:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And then, hi, May. But it would come like weeks later, you know, because I would have thought it out. I'd, I'd think it through. I'd be like, oh, this is, I'm coming on too hard here.

• 7:26Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 7:27Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 7:27Mae Martin?

  You play a really long game.

• 7:29Tig Notaro?

  Oh, when I, when I was interested in Stephanie, I texted her once a month.

• 7:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's impressive. I'm like verbal diarrhea texting, sending memes.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  What, sending memes like, um, I always get confused with memes and emojis. Memes are like, like little short videos.

• 7:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah, or a picture, but yeah.

• 7:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Actually, maybe I wouldn't do that. Maybe I'd be cooler than that at this stage in my life. I might be.

• 7:56Tig Notaro?

  I don't think so.

• 7:57Mae Martin?

  I don't think so either.

• 7:59Tig Notaro?

  My inbox would be full of memes.

• 8:01Mae Martin?

  So, but do you agree that we'd be the more likely pair out of the three of us? Or do you think you and Fortune would have something going on?

• 8:07Tig Notaro?

  Um, I feel like Fortune would respond to both of us like, I don't know, bud.

• 8:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:13Tig Notaro?

  You know, just real like, yeah, I'm gonna go home with Biggie and Jax, bud. And then you and I are like, okay, well, we're gonna hook up then.

• 8:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:25Tig Notaro?

  If we can't have Fortune, we're gonna hook up.

• 8:27Mae Martin?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 8:31Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

• 8:33Mae Martin?

  Me too, me too.

• 8:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Mae Martin?

  How's your day going?

• 8:36Tig Notaro?

  Good. I, uh, I have a lot of lines and, um, Holly Hunter, uh, the star of our show likes to rehearse.

• 8:46Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 8:47Tig Notaro?

  So sometimes that takes up my weekends.

• 8:50Mae Martin?

  Right. I respect that. I, I'm a reheaser.

• 8:54Tig Notaro?

  Listen, I respect it so much. I just, it makes me nervous.

• 9:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:00Tig Notaro?

  Because I guess I am used to showing up. To a scene prepared and I guess I am prepared. I can't even say I am used to showing up prepared because I struggle in in this, in this line of work, but rehearsal, you're really fumbling through it.

• 9:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:22Tig Notaro?

  Early stage and I don't know, but I think it's, it's ultimately great for everybody to have rehearsal time.

• 9:30Mae Martin?

  There was once, there was a guy in my show Feel Good, who we had written in the script that he had to do chin ups. Or pull ups, either one. It was like, he has to do like five or six. And so he spent months like learning and then when he showed up on the day, it just wasn't the same equipment that he thought it was gonna be. And it really threw him off. And that's the thing with rehearsing, sometimes you might get it one way in your head and then you show up and you're, and the director says something totally different.

• 9:56Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 9:57Mae Martin?

  Oh no.

• 9:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, hopefully I don't have to do any of that sort of exercising.

• 10:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:06Tig Notaro?

  Um, because I'm definitely not prepared for that.

• 10:09Mae Martin?

  You show up and they're like, we were thinking this starts with you pumping iron. This scene.

• 10:14Tig Notaro?

  Twice your body weight.

• 10:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:17Tig Notaro?

  But that's, uh, it's, it's good. And what about your day?

• 10:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, my, my, uh, yeah, my day's good. I went to the gym and I'm really noticing, I was pumping iron.

• 10:25Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 10:26Mae Martin?

  I was getting, getting big.

• 10:28Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 10:29Mae Martin?

  But I'm really noticing that I'm a messy person. Like the place I'm staying is, I'm, is so messy and I've barely been here anytime and I'm having to like face myself and look.

• 10:38Tig Notaro?

  And you just noticed you're messy?

• 10:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, maybe. Like I, I leave cupboard doors open. Um, it's not like dirty, like food mess, but just empty boxes. You're, you're pretty tidy, yeah?

• 10:51Tig Notaro?

  I am tidy, but I have a problem area, which is my, I think I've talked about it, my kid's art pile.

• 10:58Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 10:59Tig Notaro?

  And it is growing massively. And I'm, I'm, you know, in the back of my mind, I'm like, I'm gonna do something with this. And I think a lot of parents do that.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  I just saw a thing advertised where you can send it away and they scan it.

• 11:13Tig Notaro?

  I know.

• 11:14Mae Martin?

  No, no.

• 11:14Tig Notaro?

  Everybody's told me this, but I want to do something with the actual art.

• 11:19Mae Martin?

  Right, right.

• 11:20Tig Notaro?

  But I'll sort this out.

• 11:23Mae Martin?

  I, I went to stay at my friend's house and she had made a quilt out of like old jeans and stuff. I think it was like a loved one had passed. She made this quilt out of all their old clothes. And I, before I left, because I was staying in the guest bedroom, I left a little note in one of the pockets of the jeans that have been used in the quilt. And I was just like, whoever finds it, finds it. No one might ever find it.

• 11:45Tig Notaro?

  That's fun.

• 11:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:46Tig Notaro?

  Well, if it gets washed, it's gone.

• 11:49Mae Martin?

  That's true. Yeah.

• 11:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but being a messy person, you wouldn't know about washing quilts.

• 11:54Mae Martin?

  Oh, no, I'm obsessed with laundry.

• 11:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 11:56Mae Martin?

  I love doing laundry.

• 11:58Tig Notaro?

  All right, I love to.

• 11:59Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, you love it.

• 12:01Tig Notaro?

  I love it. I find it relaxing and I, it makes me feel like I'm taking care of my family. Getting their little clothes ready for the week and, you know, all that kind of stuff.

• 12:11Mae Martin?

  Folding their little clothes. Oh, my God.

• 12:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:14Mae Martin?

  Heaven.

• 12:15Tig Notaro?

  Matching socks and all that.

• 12:16Mae Martin?

  Did you ever, before you kind of settled, like, like when I was first kind of living in my own places and stuff, did you go to the laundromat ever? Did you have that? That was a big part of my life for a while.

• 12:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, I definitely went there. I remember Sarah Silverman went with me one time to do my laundry and she pulled one of my flannels out and she said, if I didn't know you were here, I would think there was a little tiny lumberjack doing laundry.

• 12:45Mae Martin?

  A tiny lumberjack.

• 12:52Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, I used to spend a good amount of time in laundromats.

• 12:56Mae Martin?

  Me too.

• 12:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Mae Martin?

  Those were the days where you could be bored and enjoy boredom and just sit there, watch the clothes turn.

• 13:03Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 13:04Mae Martin?

  There'd be some shitty TV on the wall playing like Dr. Phil.

• 13:07Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. Nobody would possibly do that now.

• 13:09Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 13:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's all phones.

• 13:12Mae Martin?

  Also, internet cafes, people used to go and just spend 14 hours playing Diablo or video games and they would just live off of like ramen noodles and chips. And I don't think that's a culture anymore.

• 13:23Tig Notaro?

  Wow, I'm not even familiar.

• 13:25Mae Martin?

  It was crazy. There was a guy called Diablo Dave in Toronto who I think lived in an internet cafe.

• 13:30Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  Just playing for, and he would make money by selling like items that you can collect in the game. He'd be like, well, I got a Battle X. You can buy it for $4.

• 13:40Tig Notaro?

  You know, it's very likely he's listening to us.

• 13:43Mae Martin?

  I hope so.

• 13:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 13:45Mae Martin?

  Um, should we see what our listeners want to ask us? Maybe there'll be a question from him.

• 13:50Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 13:51Speaker 04

  Good evening, handsoms. My name is Shem. It's a little bit after midnight here in Salt Lake City and I'm up with my new son, baby Zeke, who is not quite three weeks old. We would love to know if you were part of a community of woodland creatures and also a small business owner, what animal would you be and what would be your job? For example, you could be a squirrel that runs a bakery or a tortoise that provides affordable marriage counseling.

• 14:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 14:22Mae Martin?

  Favorite questions we've had in a while.

• 14:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's good. And I immediately know that I'd be a beaver, um, working on the dam.

• 14:31Mae Martin?

  Working on the dam?

• 14:33Tig Notaro?

  I mean.

• 14:33Mae Martin?

  Just on your own dam? Or can people hire you to work on their dams?

• 14:36Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm for hire for sure, but man, what is better than seeing a beaver working their little beaver face and teeth off? Just trying to get everything. The fact that animals know what they're supposed to do is the craziest thing in the world.

• 14:56Mae Martin?

  That's so true, actually, like that the beaver is not like, well, build a treehouse. It's like, no.

• 15:01Tig Notaro?

  No, I gotta build a dam.

• 15:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:03Tig Notaro?

  And then here comes the new babies building the dam. But I guess that's what beavers do. And maybe I'm being asked, or we're being asked, what would we do?

• 15:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like a little business, like a what's the Beaver's passion aside from, you know?

• 15:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I would say the Beaver probably works at the tennis courts.

• 15:26Mae Martin?

  I love that there's tennis courts. Are they using little acorns for balls?

• 15:30Tig Notaro?

  Uh, probably, uh, but they're using their little tail.

• 15:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. Yes.

• 15:38Mae Martin?

  Like it's the tennis coach.

• 15:41Tig Notaro?

  Is exactly it.

• 15:42Mae Martin?

  Smack.

• 15:44Tig Notaro?

  What about you?

• 15:45Mae Martin?

  I would be a, an old badger and I live, I'm a sort of bachelor and old, and I live in a, my little badger den and I make, um, I'm a sculptor and yeah, and you can commission stuff and you can bring found objects and I'll turn them into art. And, uh, yeah, I'm a badger sculptor, I think.

• 16:10Tig Notaro?

  Wow. And tiny sculptures or?

• 16:13Mae Martin?

  I'm changing my mind about it all. Can I be a rabbit that makes soup? I want to be a rabbit.

• 16:20Tig Notaro?

  I would hope there's carrots in there.

• 16:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, a rabbit that is making this really good smelling soup out of my little rabbit, Warren, and you can come and I'll give you a little cup of soup.

• 16:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I like that. Yeah.

• 16:31Mae Martin?

  That's better than this old bachelor badger who you bring garbage to and he turns it into art. I don't like that.

• 16:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, out that goes.

• 16:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Should we hear what Shem?

• 16:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  I would be a porcupine that runs a 24 hour library. Porcupines are ridiculous and beautiful. And I would love to be able to go to get a new book at four in the morning. Thanks. Love the show.

• 16:54Mae Martin?

  Great.

• 16:55Tig Notaro?

  I mean, Shem is just hitting it.

• 16:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And also he said it was midnight when he was sending this message. So.

• 17:03Tig Notaro?

  Well, it sounds like a midnight message.

• 17:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:06Tig Notaro?

  Thank you, Shem, and congrats on your little tiny, uh, cub.

• 17:09Mae Martin?

  Yes, and on your 24 hour library.

• 17:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I can't wait to hear what the little cub does for a, a living in the woods.

• 17:18Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. Zeke.

• 17:20Tig Notaro?

  Zeke. Um, all right, let's, uh, let's move it along.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Hi, handsoms. My name's Lucy, a long-term listener. Love the pod. I live in England and I'm hoping that my accent might sway you to feature my question. I know you're always talking about cute accents and I don't know if mine's cute, but here we go. It's British, so it's worth a shot. My question is that I want you to imagine that you are 80 years old and you have a genie come to you and the genie says, you're 80 years old. You can go back and have one perfect day from any point in your life. And you get to pick what day that is and you get to relive it and redo it.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  But you've probably then only got a few months left and then you're gonna snuff it. Or you can have another five years, so you'll live till you're 85. But it's just gonna be kind of your average life between 80 and 85. So yeah, I would like to know what you would choose.

• 18:24Mae Martin?

  Hmm. Ooh. And in this scenario, you're not doing great. She's saying so.

• 18:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, I guess you just live an average life for five years, right?

• 18:39Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 18:40Tig Notaro?

  Or you go out in a bang.

• 18:42Mae Martin?

  Go out in a bang and, and, and when you go back and live the perfect day, I wonder if you're, you're still 80 or you go back to being young.

• 18:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I guess we just have to decide.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  But from her answer, it's like you're back in that day, however you were.

• 18:58Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay.

• 19:00Tig Notaro?

  And then you die right after that?

• 19:02Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 19:04Tig Notaro?

  I, you know, I think because I have children,

• 19:10Tig Notaro?

  I would take the, um, the average, the average long stretch just because I'd wanna see, I wanna see what goes on with them, you know? I wanna see what, what they become, what their life is, what they're up to, how they're doing.

• 19:28Mae Martin?

  I think I'm gonna take the five years too, because even if your life is average or your, you know, your health isn't great, like you can read books and, and.

• 19:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, five years is a long time. No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take the five years. Yeah, also in the five years, someone might invent something that means, you know, you live, you upload your consciousness and live another hundred years.

• 19:50Tig Notaro?

  And somebody might invent something that means, uh, that could make those five years not so average.

• 19:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, so hold out hope for that.

• 19:59Mae Martin?

  Or they could invent a time machine and then you could also have the, the one day.

• 20:04Tig Notaro?

  Hmm, there's so many options.

• 20:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and I don't even know what, I don't know what day I would choose, because I'd also be worried that I'd go back and it wouldn't be what I remembered, or I'd me, I'd mess it up.

• 20:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you don't want to take that chance.

• 20:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Okay, we're both taking the five years.

• 20:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:19Mae Martin?

  Another example of how compatible we are, take.

• 20:22Tig Notaro?

  Truly. This episode is very sexy.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  I would choose to go back and have one perfect day. I don't really know what it's like to be eighty, but my grandparents said it's meh, you know, take it or leave it. So I think I would go back and I would choose, I know exactly what day it is. It's a Sunday and me and my husband have not had children yet, um, so we're not permanently exhausted and we are lying in bed on a Sunday morning and it's beautiful day. I'm just cuddling up and my husband just said to me, do you want to go for a roast dinner at the pub? And I was like, yeah, okay. And we just did. And it was great food. And then we had a lazy dog walk and just watched telly. And it was just so peaceful and so calm. And I don't know why it was one of the best days ever, but it just was.

• 21:10Tig Notaro?

  You know, I, that's a great day, but I have to be honest, it also sounds like a classic day of an eighty year old.

• 21:17Mae Martin?

  That's so true. A lazy, like where the highlight is a pub lunch.

• 21:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:22Mae Martin?

  Also, so funny that she wants to go back to before her kids were born.

• 21:28Mae Martin?

  Lucy.

• 21:31Tig Notaro?

  Classic Lucy. That's our Lucy. I love Lucy.

• 21:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, um, very British answer as well.

• 21:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:38Mae Martin?

  Couldn't be more British.

• 21:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, through pub in there, you got to.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  Lovely, perfect day.

• 21:46Tig Notaro?

  Well, we, um, we, we did it, May.

• 21:49Mae Martin?

  We pulled it off again.

• 21:50Tig Notaro?

  We pulled it off again and we were able to be professional, even though there's a lot simmering between us.

• 21:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we kept it together.

• 21:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 21:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, we did. Uh, for now.

• 22:02Mae Martin?

  For now, beads of sweat pouring down my head.

• 22:07Mae Martin?

  Well, Diablo Dave, if you're listening, there's still a chance for you to send in a question. Go to speakpipe.com/hansampod. Please keep sending your questions. We're loving these. It's so fun.

• 22:18Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed.

• 22:20Mae Martin?

  See if you can beat Shem's question. That was really good.

• 22:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:25Mae Martin?

  And don't forget, tickets are available for our livestreamed, exciting holiday show, December 21st, and you can go to our socials to get tickets.

• 22:34Tig Notaro?

  May, it was a pleasure. And until next time, keep it pretty handsome.

• 22:43Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 22:59Speaker 04

  What a podcast!

• 23:05Speaker 04

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.