327 - ⁠Jingle Joust Returns

Andy gets word from Liam Hemsworth’s camp in response to the challenge invite. Plus Jingle Joust returns, you send in some epic Power Moves, Hamish goes way too deep on his bowel movements (again), and Bec’s has an emergency spider call. 1. Jingle Joust 2. Most Expensive Fish 3. Power Moves 4. Poo Clock 5. Case of the Fake Spider

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me sickle, Hamish.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Okay, um, I've been called a sick, you know, not quite a sickle before.

• 0:33Speaker 02

  Not quite that.

• 0:33Speaker 03

  But maybe we're things that belong with something else because there's like the sickle and something on the flag. Hammer and sickle for the Soviet Union. And it could be, if Jack's a mortar or a pestle, then we're well-known hearts of a duo.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me round, Jack.

• 0:50Speaker 04

  Ahoy, around a sickle and I'm the waggle. Is a sickle the one that cuts grass? Is that what that tool is?

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Yes, they are.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  I feel like it is. It's like a scythe, yeah.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  It's not, it's not that.

• 1:01Speaker 04

  Oh, we're lawnmowers.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  I thought Ham would get it, to be honest.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  The waggle, okay, fair enough.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  It's the three main dances.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  That's a good power note, by the way, when, when someone's not getting something.

• 1:12Speaker 04

  Well, Ham should get it.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  To rub it in to go, I really thought you'd get this.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  Well, just given your interests.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  The three main dances bees do to communicate food locations.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  I don't care about that shit.

• 1:28Speaker 03

  That is, how many times must I tell you, for the honey operation that I am in the shadows starting up, I have a very exciting beekeeper, an up and coming beekeeper. I'm not on the frontline with the bees.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  Well, you have one or you're getting one?

• 1:45Speaker 03

  I'm interviewing.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Ahoy also to Danny.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Can't say too much, but it's bloody exciting.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  There's nothing to say. Because there's not a lot of information to relay.

• 1:58Speaker 03

  I thought we weren't talking about this. I thought you guys made it very clear that you're out of the honey operation.

• 2:03Speaker 04

  We are.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  And I will be coming back to you in a matter of a few weeks with a fully drawn up battle plan and exciting announcement about Ham's hives.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Look forward to that. The ahoy also to Danny. He went to hamishdanny.com to upload his audio to tell us what he's been doing.

• 2:20Speaker 05

  Hi boys. As Andy just mentioned, I'm Danny from Germany, which is the country with the highest TPC, which of course, as we all know, stands for Tiguan's per capita. Although I feel very privileged to be able to see quite a number of Tiguan's multiple times a day, it brought up a rather philosophical question. I do not own a Tiguan myself because I consider myself to be in touch with the common man. But as the common man here seems to drive a Tiguan, which of course must be very nice, I may have also lost touch for driving a car that is not as rare as the mythical Tiguan. So the question is, have I

• 3:01Speaker 05

  lost touch or not? And I hope you can help me figure out this identity crisis and I wish you all the gusto in the world.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Wow, might be one of the best we've ever got. Might be one of the best.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  Yes, I mean, obviously they are common there.

• 3:18Speaker 03

  I just, the one part of the puzzle we needed to know was, is the car he drives considered rarer than a Tiguan? Which is crazy. I mean, we're, it was crazy for us to think about in Australia. We were assuming our listeners are immediately as O'Fay as we are and remember the episode from probably six years ago where we investigated my dad's claim that you can't get Tiguan. And he was very proud of their Tiguan. They also, they have another Tiguan. Did I tell you this?

• 3:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Dan's step mum, they got a new car. I'm like, oh, the end of the Tiguan. They're like, we got another one.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. They find it. How'd they get it?

• 3:55Speaker 03

  It's probably took them six years to find one. They probably started looking the minute they got their first one. So what we needed to know is, is he driving a car that's rarer or better, considered better than a Tiguan?

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Let us know, Danny.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  To us, you sound very in touch. We'll give you that.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  First up today, I've got a quick bit of news with regards to Liam Hemsworth potentially hitting a ball, a tennis ball from Centre Court outside the roof of Rodlave Arena.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Hadn't thought about that for a few weeks, to be honest.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  He has declined.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  No. What?

• 4:29Speaker 02

  He is out.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Well, he didn't say he's declined. His words were...

• 4:35Speaker 02

  I'd prefer it to remain a mystery.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's how I, which does sound like a clever way.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  Did he text this to you or was there an intermediary?

• 4:46Speaker 02

  No, intermediary. Yeah, yeah. He texted intermediary to say, I would prefer it to remain a mystery. My friend wrote back to him, you can't do it, just to try and.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  Good, good, good.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he said, I can.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  So we caught Matt little thing. But anyway, I suppose what I want to say to you guys is, I guess it's still a standing invite.

• 5:11Speaker 03

  I'd like to keep the invitation.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  But to all Hemsworths. So if you.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, the pressure back on him. Now let's get a bit of sibling rivalry happen. Who will be the first Hemsworth with the guts to hit a ball out through the roof of Rod Laver?

• 5:24Speaker 02

  And this may lay dormant for a while, but no doubt there'll be a publicist from some studio that turns to us in a few years' time that says, oh, Liam's got a new film coming out. Do you reckon you could mention it? And we'll go, well.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Tell him to talk to your brother.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Hundred and fifty percent we can. Hundred and fifty percent we can do that. If he can hit a ball or at least attempt to hit a ball outside of Rod Laver Arena. So it's in all the Hemsworth courts and we'll leave it at that.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  You thought he was, I mean, I know there's a real faction of the show that believed him to be the chosen one.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Hmm, hmm.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Still is a kind of a chosen one move to build suspense like this, but.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Well, Neo, in The Matrix, Neo had doubts. He was like, I'm not sure whether I should be doing this.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I still feel like he kept kind of moving.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  He didn't go, I'll get back to you any year.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. Yeah, there's just, I've got a lot going on at the moment. Can you bring the two pills? Let's, can we just do this? Can we do this in January? Like, I'm so flat out.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Let's jump into a jingle joust.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Do we have an open?

• 6:29Speaker 03

  I don't think we do.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  I was happy to pause for the opening, but as, as I, as we paused, I thought to myself, I'm looking forward to hearing this opener because I can't remember it. We don't have one.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Maybe we feel like there's enough jingles in this segment already that it doesn't need its own.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  We thought, John.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  All the segments, all the segments that should have a jingle.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, but people who don't know this game, uh, there's a mystery, two buckets. One's a song, a pop song. Oh, I didn't type of some actually. And the other is a company at random. And then our job between the three of us is to come with a jingle each for that company using that song. Who wants to go first today?

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Look, I'm, I'm happy to kick things off right today. I got one on the surface. You would think like, oh my God. This should, you know, you, you just, it, it felt like a no brainer, like it felt like a perfect match. But then as you dig in a bit, you're like, okay, this isn't exactly line up. I got Ikea.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  And I will survive.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  As my song.

• 7:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, I know what you mean. I think you would have had an initial elation, but then.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Well, because you're like, that's such a well-known hook.

• 7:43Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Like I, I will survive.

• 7:46Speaker 06

  And Ikea is that, yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  So you go, I, but it's actually the vibe that's, do you know what I mean?

• 7:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  And so nothing, like, I'll be honest, I didn't finish writing it till moments ago because I was holding out for a late burst of inspiration. But it's like, they're not open nine till five. Anything that would rhyme with, I will survive. They're open more than that. So anyway, you'll see what I've done when I get to that bit, but I've abandoned, I've just taken an interesting creative decision. I stand by it and I think it's clever.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  And catchy. And it's just, that's just not where the song went for me. So anyway, no more leading the witness.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  Good luck.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  This is Ikea's new jingle.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  At first we saw things made, it was kinda fine. We kept thinking, there's gotta be a way to take up more of your time. Then we were like, we're spending so much time doing all the screws for this shelf. But what if, what if we made you build it yourself? Go, tip it all on the floor. You're Mr. Builder Man, what you gonna do with that spare door? Wait, hang on, go back a page, what do the instructions say? Just joking. There's no words in them anyway. Oh no, not at I, I K E A. The store with lots of funny products you do not know how to say. We could easily build this stuff for us.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  It's a piece of piss, that's not our vibe. That's not our vibe. Hey, hey. Spelled H E J, the Swedish hey.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Did you mention the brand Ikea in the song?

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I, I K E A.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry, I thought you said I'm okay.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  No, no, I, I K E A. The shop with lots of things that you do not know how to say. Pretty catchy.

• 9:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, the original song is doing the catchiness.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  I bet. No, no, I bet when people see Ikea now, they're like, I, I K E A. Yeah. No.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Great, great. It was, it, it told a false story. Well, it told a false story about the company's history, which is also interesting, like a big lie. And then.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  And like I said, we only got these yesterday.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  In the first time ever. We're spelling it out, we're actually saying Ikea.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  You know, we got this fast. You can't, you're not gonna do the whole corporate history of how great they are. I can only assume that they were just selling stuff fully built like everyone else before they went, this sucks, let's make them build it.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  I like.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  And I appreciate that. Look, yeah, like I said, interesting creative choice to spell it, I K E A. It doesn't roll off the tongue, but it's counterintuitive and it might be, it might be a fun jingle.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think I'll be, now I will be singing that now.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. All right, Jack, you're up.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Okay, I got the song Since You Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Oh. Oh, yeah. Dang it.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  What was the company?

• 11:02Speaker 04

  The company I got was Boost Juice.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Ooh, so easy.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  And I'm a bit disappointed. There was a stacks on Hamish about not including the the brand name in the jingle because Boost Juice for this hasn't included their brand name. So I guess imagine at the end, something that would come on and go like Boost Juice.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  I mean, hang on, it was in there. It was just spelled out. Have you not mentioned Boost Juice at all?

• 11:28Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  You haven't put the brand name in?

• 11:29Speaker 04

  I haven't put the brand name in the jingle, but it will be done by voiceover at the end of the ad.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 11:35Speaker 04

  I'm just remembering.

• 11:38Speaker 04

  So this is a jingle advertising when Boost Juice is having a discount promotion.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  For coupon?

• 12:24Speaker 03

  I think.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  At the end?

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Boost Juice. I think it's 100% a jingle for coupon.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  I'm so sorry that I had to go with you here.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  And nice to be in the second place. Can I get the win? A guaranteed second for Ham.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Didn't even, there was, did you list two fruits or something in mango?

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Mango is passion fruit, bananas cucumber.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Watermelon.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Watermelon. Yeah, so I just thought mango is passion fruit.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  I know they said mangoes and fruit and that's what I heard mangoes and fruit. And then you listed more fruits, but that makes more sense. Uh, well, you're dead last at the moment, which whether you.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  You can come off the bottom.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  I think when you see it in the full scope of the television commercial will make more sense.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  There's heaps of boost branding, is there?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, lots of boost branding.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  My, my, I guess for the TV ad of my song, it's one of those ones that's kind of like where you see everyone around the office, like that'll be singing about walking around the warehouse going, you know, we want to make you build it.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. So from the company though.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, from the company.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Okay, I.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  See a lot of Ikea.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  I got the song Pink Pony Club.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Great.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Chaparral.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  I mean, we already picked bangers. I don't need to say every time it's a banger, but because all three of them are amazing songs. And then I got Guzman E Gomez.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  Oh, that is easy. But that, that works with Pink Pony Club.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  How?

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Guzman E Gomez, it's pretty similar.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  That's why your song is so bad because you don't try and like fit it to the original.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Jack, how would you have done? I, I will survive to Ikea.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  That was busy.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  You're busy doing the wrong jingle.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  I got in trouble.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Doing a jingle about a method of discount rather than a business.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  I got in trouble last time and significant points deducted for being too long, remember?

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yours went for the full song.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, how long has, was Hamish? A minute, two seconds. Okay, he's gone for the minute at you. Forty one seconds. What am I sitting here? Forty nine. Okay, we're in the wrong, we're in the wrong. Um, anyway, this is Guzman E Gomez, if they did have the money to be able to use Pink Pony Club for their latest jingle.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  I'm feeling hungry today. I'm sick of all the drive-through meals that kind of taste the same. But I heard that there's a special place. They have the best burritos. You just have to pick your base. I'll start with grounded beef and make that spicy. Why don't I add the guac and extra jack cheese? Mexican grub. I'm gonna keep on coming for this Mexican grub. Only Guzman and Gomez make a dinner this good. So I'm gonna keep on coming for this Mexican grub. Mexican grub.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what I should have done at the end.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, before you put that absolute, just, you know, just double check, we got the name in there, it was only mentioned once.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, no, it was good Mexican grub.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  For good, yeah, for Pink Planet Club is, is good. You know, I don't think it's, I don't think it's the budget that would stop Guzman and Gomez going for it. Like, you hear their radio ads, I think it's the guy, isn't it Guzman?

• 15:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  That does the ads, he's never given that up.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  He's done, no, he's done.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  I mean, he, Mexican grub could be the banger of all bangers and he's, I think he'd sit in the head office and go, I, I think people like me doing it. I think he would keep doing it. Um, I think Andy's got it.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  I think Andy's got it.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  I think, I think Mexican grub was good.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Thank you, guys. It's been a long time since I've won one of these, so that means a lot. But, uh, yeah, we will play again, I'm sure. Just remember to put the actual company name.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Remembering what jingles are, yes. They're meant to be a positive framing of the company.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  Oh, you said we could do, we could build this like piss, but we're gonna make you do it.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  No, that's, that's a note for me as well. Oh, he said it'd be a piece of piss. I didn't say it's like, this is a product that's like piss.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Guys, if you're out there shopping for a fish, for, you know, a home aquarium.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Something, what do you think the going price is of the most expensive fish you can get? If you're just walking through your local aquarium?

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Have you got an aquarium in the new house?

• 17:00Speaker 02

  No, I've got, no, I don't have an aquarium in the new house.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  I'll be like, if this is where we find.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  If this is where we find out that you've got like a whale shark that's between lounge room four and bedroom nine or whatever.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  No, no, no animals except for Henrietta in the house. But I just was wondering, like, back in the day, we had a fish, you'd go there, you'd look at other tropical fish and you'd go, okay, you know, goldfish, 60 bucks.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Are we talking about what's the most expensive fish at the pet shop?

• 17:29Speaker 02

  At the pet shop, at the aquarium.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  But then there are specialty aquarium shops that probably have way better ones.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  This is, this is a good Apex, Apex Aquatic is the aquarium in Collingwood. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, so it's especially, it is not a pet store, it's an, just an aquarium store. Yeah. Cause we sometimes to kill time, just with my daughter, you have just various things you do when you're cutting a lap at the shopping centre. And we have to just take a walk through the pet store for no reason. And we visit the fish. The best one they've got there is the Mexican fighting fish. Yes. I think that's like 50 bucks. Yeah. Jack, what's your guess?

• 18:06Speaker 04

  Well, I'm thinking of, I remember in the movie Juice Bigelow, there's a really rare fish that a guy has in an aquarium. And they're like tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  So I'm thinking that you're playing a game is like a, a high price tag item. So I think you've seen a fish for 10,000 or more.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Well, joining us is Jack from Apex Aquatic, because on school holidays, when you can't afford the zoo, you take your nephews to Apex Aquatic and just wander the fish. Free aquarium. Yeah. Yes. Jack joins us. Ahoy, Jack.

• 18:38Speaker 07

  Hi guys. How are you?

• 18:39Speaker 03

  Really good. Hi Jack. Um, thank you for joining us. Jack, how many, before we, let's see a little bit more context around this game, so if I can play along. How many individual species of fish would you sell at Apex Aquatic?

• 18:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, so Apex Aquatic, I reckon we easily have a thousand different species of fish across freshwater and saltwater.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Do you sell any sharks?

• 19:04Speaker 07

  Uh, we do. Yeah, quite frequently, actually.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. Really? Well, because it's Apex, I was like, well, the apex predator is the shark.

• 19:11Speaker 07

  Yeah. We actually, we wanted to put a big shark on the front of the building, but we're still waiting for approval.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Who's buying a shark?

• 19:18Speaker 07

  There's actually surprisingly a few people with some incredibly huge. Aquariums in Melbourne.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  At their homes?

• 19:25Speaker 07

  At their homes.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Big time.

• 19:27Speaker 07

  I'm talking swimming pool sized aquariums.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Wow. Okay. So do you notice?

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Not saying that they're like underworld figures, but it is a popular thing to do. You're kind of a crime boss, you would have a shark for sure.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:39Speaker 03

  I'm sure you can also do it with legally acquired money.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  But it's got that feel.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Does have that feel.

• 19:45Speaker 07

  I totally agree.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Jack, during school holidays, do you see an uplift of people coming through?

• 19:54Speaker 07

  Absolutely. I actually got a complaint from one of my staff today saying we've got to have a no running sign in the shop.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it's it's sort of like back in the day when newsagents existed, there was like, yeah, mate, it's not a library. But you can't really yell out, it's not an aquarium. Because you can't like have a go at people for stealing the pleasure of viewing a fish for free.

• 20:15Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Yes. So you can wander the aisles and there is one fish that costs more than any other. Jack, tell us the price of the most expensive fish at Apex Aquatic.

• 20:26Speaker 07

  That's it. So the most expensive fish, we valued it at 20 grand. However, I'll get to the story later. However, it's probably worth significantly more than that as of today.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  So, and it's not a shark, is it?

• 20:40Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  What happened today that boosted it in price?

• 20:43Speaker 07

  As of recent, I mean.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Okay, right.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Recent events.

• 20:47Speaker 07

  Yeah. So long, long story short, um, the fish can only be collected by, there's two to three people in the entire world who can collect this fish.

• 20:56Speaker 02

  So tell us what kind of fish it is and like how big it is.

• 20:59Speaker 07

  Yeah. So it's a deep water antheus is what it's called and it's tiny. It's probably like less than 10 centimeters.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  And it's not colorful, is it?

• 21:08Speaker 07

  No, not in the current conditions, but deep water where they're found, they are very colorful.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  $2,000 a centimeter is what you're saying.

• 21:18Speaker 07

  As much as I love it, it is quite underwhelming considering the price tag it holds.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  Have you guys sold one?

• 21:26Speaker 07

  We've sold fish similar to that value, but not, given there's only two of these fish that have ever been in captivity. No, we are yet to.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  And you've got, you've got one of them.

• 21:36Speaker 07

  And we have one in Collingwood, of all places.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Now, how long can a fish live for? Like, do you, do you need to sell this quick?

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Like, how long can it sit on the shelf?

• 21:47Speaker 07

  Yeah, we've actually, we've had him or her for, I think, six months now.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 21:50Speaker 07

  And it's thriving. And the reality is, in captivity, the fish live a lot longer. Cause they're obviously in prime conditions, get fed every day. There's no like, there's no demand for food and no like interspecies competition.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  And so, this is a deep water fish. So we're talking like real deep or like thousands of meters deep?

• 22:08Speaker 07

  Uh, so this fish was collected at a hundred and fifty meters.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 22:12Speaker 07

  But the reality is for a human to go dive that deep is like extremely dangerous.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, you'd need like one of the Thai cave rescue guys to do it.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  And this is a popular story that I find interesting. Jack, why is it suddenly more expensive, this fish? It's actually, it could be getting its price go up.

• 22:29Speaker 07

  So there we go. So tragically, a month or so ago, the exact individual, Tim Bennett, who caught this fish with his hands. Sadly, um, yeah, it didn't surface from a dive. And he's like an absolute fish legend. But, um, went on a dive and something went wrong and we still don't actually know what happened. But once again, it's almost, yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  And he's the only person in the world that's collected these fish, is that right?

• 22:51Speaker 07

  Uh, there's two people in the world and he was one of the two.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Oof.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  And so now they don't think these fish will ever be collected again just because of its danger. Hence, it's going up in value at Apex Aquatic.

• 23:04Speaker 07

  That's exactly right.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Jack, if someone was to buy this fish and give it away on a game show.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Could we come to some sort of deal for, you know, 18 or 19?

• 23:20Speaker 07

  I was thinking we could settle for 25, but we can talk later.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  How, how hard is it to maintain?

• 23:26Speaker 03

  I need you to have a buy it now option on your website for when I sit down during Golden Day.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  I wondered whether your head would go this way, Ham. How hard is it to maintain this particular fish once it's, you know, in someone's house?

• 23:40Speaker 07

  Honestly, pretty, pretty easy, to be honest. Obviously on the tank he's on now, there's lots of sensors and monitors and everything. But generally, yeah, as you, as you would, but generally pretty, pretty straightforward.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Because it lives at such a deep depth, which I, and I presume is quite dark down there. Is this fish shocked or surprised to now be up on land and like looking around and, you know, being in a shop?

• 24:04Speaker 07

  No, because I think because of the setup we've put him in, it's quite dark and there's lots of caves, thus you can't see the colour.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 24:10Speaker 07

  Um, yeah, he's, he's settled in perfectly.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  And wouldn't he be under more pressure down there? Like, is he, is he feeling a bit bigger?

• 24:16Speaker 03

  He must love it. Yeah, the pressure's off.

• 24:17Speaker 07

  Yeah. He's a free man.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Jack, thank you so much for joining us, mate. I find it fascinating. It may or may not be in the showcase for Bitcoin Blitz, but uh.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  My mind is spinning.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Thank you for joining us, buddy. Appreciate it.

• 24:32Speaker 07

  I appreciate it, guys. All the best.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Hey, and they keep coming in, so we'll keep reading them out as a service to anyone who listens to this show to make them more powerful. Some more power boost for everybody.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Gotta go first, you want me to? I'm kicking these off here from Levy or Levi. Um, I think Levy said, um, hello lads. Pretty general power move, but works best when you have an upcoming group event and there is no group chat for it. Okay. It could be an outing, it could be a meeting, whatever. When a friend of yours asks what's going on with the upcoming group event, you simply say to them, are you on the chat? This implies that they're not considered relevant enough to be on the chat. Then when they ask to be added, be really vague about how they get onto the chat, like, oh, sorry, I'm not, I'm not sure who the admin is, et cetera, et cetera. This way, you've got some great examples. Are you coming to the beach on Friday? Yes. Are you on the chat? Are you going to the marketing meeting tomorrow? Yeah. Are you on the chat?

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Best case scenario, looking forward to our high school reunion reply. Are you on the chat? Implying they were never added to the class chat for all these years.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Uh, it's from Jake. Power move for you, lads. Can be used on anyone at any time.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  This is good.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Versatile. When someone is one sentence into their conversation with you, simply say, you can stand up straight when talking to me.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  I don't think it's a great one. Someone said that to me since high school, I reckon. It's a real teacher move.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Sit up straight. Keep going with sit up straight. Yep.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Refusing to sit up straight too is such a petty act of defiance. No, I am a man and I will slouch when I can. Uh, and a good one here from Tommy. This is a power move my brother did to his partner recently in a group setting when someone says they're going to have a shower. Stop them and say, okay, but make sure you actually have a shower this time. Don't just run the water.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  This insinuates that they've been recently having fake showers or have not been cleaning themselves.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  I don't know why that tickles me so much. Do you really paint that person as a giant weirdo?

• 27:09Speaker 03

  I'm not having fake showers.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Everyone in the room's going, I wonder who does that?

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Why isn't she having shampoo?

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Great. This is from, uh, David. At a restaurant, casually rinse your fingertips in your colleague's water.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  No eye contact, no acknowledgement, just continue as nothing happened. I think that would work for me.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  It's undeniable, Val. This is from Emily. I always, currently travelling in Sri Lanka, it's approximately 30 degrees, 80% humidity. I've discovered a new power move. As you can imagine, as you can imagine, it is supreme ice cream weather. The other day I asked my friend if I could try some of his ice cream. He handed it over and I took a bite from the bottom of his cone, leaving him in absolute shock and ice cream slowly trickling out the bottom of the cone. That is good.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Gentlemen, I like to think that we have earned the trust of the audience to discuss bodily functions responsibly. I mean, I know this is often been my realm, especially with Gone in 60 Seconds. That's something I've really taken ownership of.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  And the airport toilet run last year, don't forget.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that was a keeper to delete it.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  That was a biggie. That was a biggie. That's still shocked and scarred several people. But I assure you, no more, no more shocking than having lived through it myself. Think about it quite a lot. I'm often grateful on the toilet. Anytime I'm successfully on the toilet now with no incident, I'm like, let's not forget to be grateful for the body just doing its thing.

• 28:47Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  I think it's a lesson we can all appreciate. Speaking of being on the toilet and just letting the body do its thing, do you have a set time of the day for a bowel movement?

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Are you on a schedule? I think most people are on a schedule, aren't they?

• 29:01Speaker 02

  As soon as I wake up.

• 29:02Speaker 04

  Yep, me too.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  Soon as you wake up.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Soon as I wake up, that's the first walk. The first walk is, is, is straight to the loo.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  For number two.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then before I go to bed, same. That's pretty much my two for the day.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  You do two in a day. You're not doing two in a day.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  What's left in the morning?

• 29:18Speaker 04

  No, I'm doing, I'm doing one.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  One a day?

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm a one a day.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Really?

• 29:23Speaker 03

  What are you doing, what are you doing at night? That's such an Andy thing to do. Get everything set at night and get it all sorted in the morning as well. Get everything squared away.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  I think you should be doing more than one a day, guys.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  No, one's, I think one, I think one's about what you meant to be doing. Get it all, one big one.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  One big, one big spring clean.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  I do, I do one a day and then maybe every two weeks I'll need to do a two in a day. It's like, sort of like a leap year.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Coffee card.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Wow. Every 10th one is free. After, after I get 10, I get a bonus of the same or smaller size. Just buy small ones and come in and try and get a big one.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  It's crazy to me that you would carry around 24 hours of carry. I would like.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  That's, no, I think that's, all right, well, I mean. The good thing is this, here's the thing though, I used to be like, I'm a coffee drinker and coffee drinkers will know that that's absolutely gets things going. So first thing in the morning, no, you wake up, have breakfast or whatever. It used to be not too big a deal because that was, then that was usually if we're heading out the door, I'm like, oh, I'll be there in a sec.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  And you just take care of business. Sometimes the kids will be like, give us your phone. Come on, guys, that's not.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Is that to reduce your time?

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Actually, give us your phone because.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  We know how long you might end up.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Doesn't have to be a guess, but it would be nice under 60 minutes.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  So sometimes I have to hand my phone in, um, like, like I'm going to a Taylor Swift concert or whatever.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  You're not allowed to take your phone. So forever, that's the schedule after breakfast on a good routine. Couple of months ago, or a few, you know, two or three months ago, had the wisdom teeth out over the mandated break. It was in the mandated break, had my wisdom teeth out. Due to the painkillers, I think, that you're on for a while, you get quite blocked up.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  Like the codeine or whatever it is. So you, it threw my, it threw my schedule out.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Really?

• 31:21Speaker 03

  And it somehow, when all the dust settled, I found myself now 12 hours into the future.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  Like, you know.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  So now you're a night guy.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Hmm. And it's hitting me not just at night, yeah, but right at bedtime.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  Now.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  That's a good thing, I reckon.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Well, my wife doesn't find it a good thing because that's when the bathroom is being used by everyone for nighttime routines.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  And suddenly now I've decided that that's when Hame's gonna do his business. So.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  But you can go, you've got several bathrooms.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Go to the other, well, then the other, the other tricky thing is too, it's the noise of like, so I was like, okay, well, you know, sometimes I have to get up and then be like, it's hit me.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  I thought you meant the noise emanating from the bathroom.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  She has a glass of water next to her bed and it's like, what is that?

• 32:14Speaker 04

  The noise in my bed.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  I just can't control. Now it's this like renegade poo that happens between like 10 and 11. And we we're usually in bed, well in bed by 10 o'clock. So she's like, you've got to shift this. This isn't working for our family. I don't know why this is happening now every night. I'm like, I think it was the surgery. Free me out. He's like, all right, well, let's get him. Let's get it going again in the morning. Like, oh, but that means I've got to, I'm gonna have to hold one.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  You can't. Yeah, I'm here to say with a bit of work, a little bit of determination and a lot of love in my heart. Over the course of about a week to 10 days, I was able to change the clocks in my body. And it wasn't the most comfortable thing to go through and I managed to change it over.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  Now she appreciated that.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  It's tough and she's very busy and I've tried to, I've tried to explain to her what I've gone through for the family and I think she just sort of expects it. She was like, well, I I gave you a direct order. So I would expect that to be followed.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is hard to change the clocks because when I was doing breakfast radio, I wanted to get it moved to the night time. Because then I save another 10 minutes in the morning and every minute counts for that early alarm. But I just couldn't move it.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you have to agree. It is not easy. It's a conscious effort for those kind of like a few days. Here's the tricky part. Recently, I took the kids away for a bit of an adventure, a few hours in the car. And it was an early morning leave. I needed to go and back on schedule now. But I was faced with A, trying to make good time and B, only roadside. Subcar facilities.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  To the point where I went, I kind of got to midday and I'd forgotten about it.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  No, you kicked it back onto the wrong schedule.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Because of that road trip. And then a few days later, we're driving a few hours in the car back. Same thing happened again.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  That's been enough to now I regret to inform you of my one. We are now back on the night time schedule and the clock has reverted.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Gosh, back on New York time.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Back on New York time, yeah. Really the worst possible time zone. Now it actually seems to be happening kind of like near midnight.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  I know.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  I know.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I'm a two, I'm a two, I'm two, two twos a day. So that's, that doesn't seem to be that crazy to me, but I'm.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  You must not be getting much out.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  I, it feels like enough.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  He's two, I'm just looking out the window here, he's two. Brad, you're a two.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  All right. I'm not gonna ask Carly and Lys, they're just shaking their head.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  I think, let's get a naturopath on next week and just work out exactly how many.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  I would like to know.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Isn't your dentist a naturopath?

• 35:09Speaker 02

  He's a holistic dentist, but I can't ask him.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  I'm hot off the excitement of high drama at home, Ham.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  What's happened?

• 35:23Speaker 02

  I arrived at the pod this morning, got a call from Beck. I did ignore the first one because I was sitting there with Marshy in the studio. And then immediate another call. And as soon as that, the pester comes from your partner, generally that's enough for me to go, okay, something's up.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  Yep. You gotta, you have to have a very good excuse to ignore two calls.

• 35:42Speaker 02

  Yep. So I, I, I answer the call. Beck says to me, there is a huge huntsman in your car park.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  Car park?

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:53Speaker 03

  At the Palmer building?

• 35:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  In your spot?

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. So Beck and I, and I said, yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Was it? I mean, yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  I said, yes.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  As he goes.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  I can hear you.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Massive.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  I was like, yes. And she says, yes, so what am I gonna do? I said, well, is it, it's not in your car, is it? And her car parked next to mine, we're in a big apartment block with lots of different cars. She goes, no, no, but I, I will never be able to drive my car again if we don't get rid of it, because I'll assume it's in my car.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  She knows it's down there. Now, there's so many cars where to choose from.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Exactly. I said, it's, it's fine, it's fine. Is it, is it, is it on the move? And she says, I want back upstairs to get reception, but I'm gonna head back down.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  Oh, no, you gotta keep eyes on it.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  And she said, what should I do? I said, well.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Taking eyes off, it was a huge mistake. As someone that's terrified of spiders, like, we had a similar situation in the kids' playroom not too long ago. And we've got the bug assault, which we've talked about many times on this show, to the point where people think we get a kickback for mentioning the bug assault. We do not. Just a rock salt firing shotgun that I happen to enjoy. Takes out flies, can take out spiders, can take out huntsmen's. But, you know, you, a couple of weeks ago, big huntsman on like a yellow cupboard, huge, hand size. It's just like, I may, couldn't believe it could still stick to the wall, it was so big. You know, like, whatever adhesive they're using, it was like a cat on the wall. It was so big.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  But, you, you know, I calmly said to the kids, please stay here, keep eyes on it. I'll go and get the weapon.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Because if you take, it was a bit more like, watch it, watch it, do not. Somebody had a Nerf gun. And I was like, mate, do not fire, do not fire. You're just gonna knock it down and anger it. And it's, then it's coming for us, all right? Do not fire. It was a real, it was a, it was a high drama moment as well. They'll hold your fire, but you gotta keep eyes on it, because you come back in the room and it's gone. I mean, you almost have to sell your house.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  You and Beck are similar with your fear for spiders. I've learned something, there's, there's one sentence that is separated by two words that makes, feels really different. You can either say, what would you like me to do about it? Which seems a bit aggressive.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Or, what would you like me to do? Seems less aggressive. So I said, what would you like me to do?

• 38:17Speaker 03

  That's nice.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  She said, hmm, I don't know. The building's got a whole WhatsApp, I'll text the whole building.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  Oh. That's an escalation.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Great idea, great idea. So, good luck, let me know how you go.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Moments later, she called and because I was with Marshy, we could hear the call and record it. This is what happened.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  From her perspective, that's the worst person for you to be sitting next to, our audio producer. But great for the show.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  You there?

• 38:53Speaker 06

  It was a fake f***ing spider.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  No way. I didn't lay there.

• 39:04Speaker 06

  Well, it was under your car, so it's obviously fallen out of your car. I've alerted the whole building. I stopped the guy from level one. He was coming up in his car and I was like standing in the middle of the car park with my Mortin spray, shaking. And he's gone over and he was like, oh yeah, that's big. And then he's like sprayed it and it didn't move and he was like, I think it's dead. And then like knocked it with the can and he was like, oh no, it's fake. And then picked it up.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  And you, and you've asked the entire apartment block if anyone can come and help you.

• 39:45Speaker 06

  It's come out of your car.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  It has, why am I getting blamed for this? It hasn't come out of my car. I don't have any, I haven't.

• 39:51Speaker 06

  And then the guy goes, does your boyfriend just have fake spiders in his car all the time?

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Well, it hasn't come out of my car and I don't carry around fake spiders.

• 40:00Speaker 06

  Well, it's come out of your car because your car was right on top of it.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  So you're somehow blaming me for this?

• 40:06Speaker 06

  I don't know. Everyone's laughing at me now on the group chat.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  She has since sent me the spider. I'm just texting it to you both right now.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  I don't even wanna, I don't even like seeing the show, even though it's fake.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  Have a look how fake. Have a look how fake.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  Oh my God, that's like a Halloween, like I'm not even scared of that.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  It's got, it's got a blue or yellow legs.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Spider.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  From a show bag.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  But is that yours? You are a known prankster.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  No, it's not. It's not mine. Really looks like it's like a Halloween decoration. Yeah. That's fallen off somewhere. Somewhere. I did like when you're like, are you blaming me for this somehow? Beck, very honest moment. This is a good game, you know, as he head into marriage, but he's like, ah, I don't know, which means. Yeah, yes, I want to. Um.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  Can't quite work out now yet.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm a bit flustered at the moment, but I'll, I'll get back to you. Yeah, I'll get back to you. How this is your fault.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  Cause that is the ideal outcome here. Yes, I would like to blame you.