Pod Insights Hamish & Andy 326 - Andy's Always Living In Hame's Head About this episode The boys plan to use the People’s Bitcoin on a Hamish-led impulse shopping spree, then turn it into a game show where you can try to win Hamish’s haul. The Lady of Stain makes her return with some frankly shocking stain removal advice, there’s a husband-and-wife Gusto Check, and Hamish reflects on being a fast-and-loose operator.
1. Bitcoin Blitz
2. Lady of Stain
3. Double Gusto Check - Sam’s Spring Cleaning
4. Andy’s Always In Hame’s Head
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 A Listener Production.
0:07 Speaker 01 Activate your internet, because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two...
0:17 Speaker 01 Sorry, it's still buffering. One.
0:23 Speaker 02 Ahoy to me peso, Hamish.
0:26 Speaker 03 Haha, si señor.
0:29 Speaker 02 Maybe not. Oh, do you know what? This could be a bit long. I'm gonna call this early and I could be way off here, but for huge credit points. This could be members of children's TV show The Octonauts. You could be Quasi and you could be Captain Barnacles.
0:45 Speaker 03 Ahoy to me Quasi, ahoy to me Captain Barnacles! What's the show? I can't believe I'm gonna...
0:50 Speaker 02 It's not that big, but we had a phase. Gee, that would have been about seven years ago. I think I've done alright to remember that.
0:55 Speaker 03 Well done, Hamish. You are peso, the penguin, the team's caring compassionate medic.
1:00 Speaker 02 Yep.
1:00 Speaker 03 Quasi, Jack the cat, the dead little orange kitten with a mysterious swashbuckling pirate past.
1:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's a larrikin. He's like the Michelangelo of the Ninja Turtles.
1:09 Speaker 03 Oh, my favourite turtle.
1:10 Speaker 02 And Captain Barnacles, you're the teddy bear and you're the sensible leader of the group. Once again, Andy giving him sort of the highest ranking of the show.
1:18 Speaker 02 Bit of a...
1:18 Speaker 03 Just the way the cards spell.
1:20 Speaker 02 He's just a bit of a straight-laced bear, Barnacles. They... Good question, what are the Octonauts, Jack? They live in an underwater research centre. And they go on various... I don't know who funds it. Would cost a fortune, to be fair.
1:34 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:34 Speaker 02 Like, I would estimate in actual terms, maybe a billion dollars. I mean... Really, to live down there in that level of luxury they live in. And they go out on missions to learn about sea life and help out the animals.
1:49 Speaker 03 Um, it says that I play the accordion. Does Captain Barnacle play the accordion?
1:54 Speaker 02 I don't know the full canon, to be honest. I don't know all the lore of Octonauts. I just remember, yeah, my little boy had a phase of the Octonauts. Probably about seven years ago. I remember we were on a family holiday and... I left a treasure map from the Octonauts to guide him to some treasure buried on the beach. Oh, yes. Which was, brought the house down. If you're in a, if you're in a similar, and you can do, you can do, you can do the voices quite easily. That's some good dating. Captain Barnacle.
2:26 Speaker 02 Ahoy there, matey, it's quasi, you know, God, it's been a while. Ahoy also to Jack, uh, here in Australia, not sure where, but, uh, logged on to hamish journey.com and, but to tell us what he's been up to.
2:38 Speaker 04 Ahoy, fellas. I thought I would share my magical gone in 60 seconds and God, it was stressful.
2:45 Speaker 02 Good boy.
2:45 Speaker 04 About a minute before I was supposed to go out for my wedding, wedding planner comes in and says, gives us the knock, one minute warning till you walk out. My bail said, not today, junior. And with Hamish in mind, which was exactly what I wanted to be thinking about a minute before I was gonna walk out. Um, I said, let's do this. Got it done, I reckon 45 to 47 seconds. Out we went and it was all good and it was special. So, yeah, big credit to Hamish, credit to the show for all the laughs and laughs and the good times. Cheers, mate.
3:17 Speaker 02 Unreal, walking lightly to the altar. Well done, Jack. Well done. When he says it was special, are you referring to the wedding or is he referring? No. Seven, 47 seconds, you don't forget that.
3:30 Speaker 02 I mean, weddings come and go. Yeah, a lot of people get married several times, but to pull a 47 second out under that kind of pressure, that's just, that's wonderful. That's the ultimate nervous poo. Isn't that amazing to see a lot, like, what's the last thing you did as a single man? I'll tell you what I did. Incredible.
3:46 Speaker 02 Forty-five, forty-two seconds. I, I weighed down a PB, that's what I did. Hey, after much debate on and off the air about what we're gonna do with the people's Bitcoin, um, we've decided you're gonna do Ham's Hives on your own. Yep, on my own dime. Uh, well, we'll see. My own dime and my own time. We'll see whether that happens. But the pilling away in the background is a very exciting and disruptive honey operation. Low, low simmer, that is bubbling away and you're not gonna cook that for many, many years, I would say. All the best things are cooked slowly.
4:19 Speaker 02 You want toast? Eat toast. You want a beautiful, beautiful piece of slow cooked sourdough that takes, takes a few days, you come to my restaurant.
4:29 Speaker 03 Have the toast, please. The people's Bitcoin.
4:34 Speaker 02 It was a bad analogy. He didn't do himself any favors by picking bread as the thing you should slow cook.
4:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, because you toast sourdough the same you toast a normal loaf of bread.
4:45 Speaker 02 I know, get it on Beefcake. Get it on Beefcake. But we play on.
4:50 Speaker 03 The people's Bitcoin will be used for an impulse buying session from yourself.
4:56 Speaker 02 Yes.
4:57 Speaker 03 Followed by a game show as created by yourself, myself and Jack, where the people can come to said game show, similar to the Price is Right.
5:07 Speaker 02 Yep.
5:07 Speaker 03 And try and win a showcase of everything that you've bought.
5:11 Speaker 02 Everything I bought. It serves two purposes.
5:13 Speaker 03 Yep.
5:14 Speaker 02 Could we cure me of my impulse buying compulsion and addiction by putting me in a room? And this is, this is some demands I'll have for you, Ando. You currently have the Bitcoins.
5:25 Speaker 03 Yep.
5:26 Speaker 02 And you obviously have to convert one to cash before this happens. And I would like my own card, one of the metallic ones, if possible. I've never, I don't know if they exist or not, but like, you know, we're going to be putting like, how much is Bitcoin? Ninety?
5:42 Speaker 03 I think at the moment like $98,000.
5:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, we're putting, let's say we're going to be putting close to $100,000 on this credit card. You want a metal one.
5:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:49 Speaker 02 Yeah. So it's me with the metal card in a room and I would like just coffee and cheesecake.
5:59 Speaker 03 Yep. Sounds like you're making up your ride right now.
6:04 Speaker 02 I don't know why this is like, I'm on death row, death row.
6:09 Speaker 03 And you didn't ask for that much. It's not that. You're not getting ninety eight thousand dollars.
6:15 Speaker 02 Why not?
6:16 Speaker 03 Well, because half the money is going into trying to produce this show.
6:19 Speaker 02 No, it's not. No way. The whole thing is we're burning a Bitcoin.
6:23 Speaker 03 It's half and half. We said that. Half and half. You get fifty thousand dollars. And then the rest is.
6:29 Speaker 02 No, I don't. I can't do much with fifty.
6:34 Speaker 02 I thought the whole thing was I'm burning a Bitcoin. Get a sponsor. Ask, call in some favors.
6:41 Speaker 03 The TV studios are expensive.
6:43 Speaker 02 You're in there all the time. You do the hundred all the time. Just ask those guys. Surely the crew love you. I would have thought, Andy. You've been running that show for years. I would have thought the crew loved you so much that they would be happy to come and do a day for free.
7:01 Speaker 03 I don't think so. But so. Not even a day for free. It's like stick around for half an hour at the end of.
7:07 Speaker 02 One hour. You're exactly right, Jack. We could do, we could knock this thing over in an hour. Easy. Easy.
7:12 Speaker 03 So you want to burn.
7:13 Speaker 02 I'll just need to get there like during the day to the loading dock and load all the prizes in. Sorry. Okay. Let's put aside the.
7:20 Speaker 03 No, okay, fine. You can have ninety thousand dollars.
7:22 Speaker 02 Great. Thank you.
7:24 Speaker 03 Now, but.
7:25 Speaker 02 That's how you negotiate.
7:26 Speaker 03 Well done, especially against Andy.
7:30 Speaker 03 Well, actually, the tagline, burn a Bitcoin, was what actually was ringing in my ear.
7:34 Speaker 02 What do you think about the name for the show called, we call it Bitcoin Blitz? Because it is a blitz and it's a full Bitcoin.
7:41 Speaker 03 Love that.
7:42 Speaker 02 Bitcoin Blitz, doesn't it?
7:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay. Bitcoin Blitz. Yep.
7:45 Speaker 02 I think our game show should be called Bitcoin Blitz. And the understanding is, you know, however many people in the audience, a hundred or whatever, they enter that room. And they will be leaving with a hundred thousand dollars in prizes.
7:57 Speaker 03 Yep. So if you get selected, let's get, let's try and get a huge audience. Like it's too, like I think as we can try and get as big an audience as possible. Cause that whole Price is Right feel where everyone's yelling and being excited, I think that'd be great.
8:06 Speaker 02 That is the vibe.
8:07 Speaker 03 Okay. So you're in charge of the showcase. I won't know anything you've bought until the day.
8:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, I like that. I think that we have to do it that way. I think the fun of the game show, I want a set too that has the, you know, the revolving.
8:21 Speaker 03 Oh, my gosh.
8:22 Speaker 02 Well, that's how you do it.
8:25 Speaker 02 Was it Price, Price is Right had revolving? I think they all did. Things, you know, Sailor Century, anything.
8:30 Speaker 03 It might not revolve.
8:31 Speaker 02 It should revolve.
8:35 Speaker 02 Because I think it's that thing of you being like, all right, let's see what the showcase is for game number three.
8:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:39 Speaker 02 You know, the revolve would be huge.
8:42 Speaker 03 Okay, I'll look into price up a revolve. Okay, and then I asked you though.
8:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, then I think you're you're as excited as everyone else is to find out what what's on offer.
8:53 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay. I asked you though to do a dry run.
8:56 Speaker 02 Sorry, just just to we're really clear for everyone, the the bit where I have the coffee and the cheesecake in the room and the, you know, a hundred thousand dollars on a credit card. I think we should call that golden day or something, you know, make a real celebration of it.
9:09 Speaker 03 Yep.
9:10 Speaker 02 I enter the room with the card and I think the best way to go.
9:14 Speaker 03 How long do you need, you reckon?
9:15 Speaker 02 I don't think I'm gonna need 24 hours, to be honest.
9:17 Speaker 03 You don't.
9:18 Speaker 02 I know that sounds crazy, but think about some big ticket items in there. There might be, you know, you get on a roll with a couple of 10,000 is.
9:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's only 10 of those.
9:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, you know, 24 hours for that. Like, I'm not in this. I'm not. I'm not gonna be on, you know, I'm not buying like tins of beans on online shopping. I'm putting in a big order.
9:37 Speaker 03 Going swinging hard. I think that's good because you want.
9:39 Speaker 02 Couple of hours.
9:40 Speaker 03 People.
9:40 Speaker 02 Because I won't. I'm not gonna rush through it. And I think it's important to go in with not too many preconceived ideas.
9:45 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
9:45 Speaker 02 I think I just wanna like let for truly to get this out of my system. I just wanna let impulses take over. That's why the coffee is important.
9:53 Speaker 03 Yep.
9:53 Speaker 02 I get very fired up and make some bad decisions on coffee.
9:57 Speaker 03 Golden day. When are we gonna have golden day? Can we do that in the next two months?
10:01 Speaker 02 Yes.
10:02 Speaker 03 Then I think we put the show on when all the stuff arrives. Like, we probably like things take ages sometimes to get here. So we can't put the show on until all those things arrive.
10:11 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
10:12 Speaker 03 So we're probably months away from that.
10:14 Speaker 02 But I think as a as a skeleton, this is this feels right.
10:18 Speaker 03 Hmm.
10:18 Speaker 02 Um, for Bitcoin Blitz, Jack, do you want to do the music for the show?
10:22 Speaker 03 Oh, I would love to. Like, make a jingle for them.
10:25 Speaker 02 Well, don't we need a house band kind of thing? Like, could you?
10:28 Speaker 03 House band? Think, what is this? Not a Tonight Show.
10:31 Speaker 02 No, I know, but there is music involved in a lot of these shows and it could be fun to have you do the music.
10:37 Speaker 03 You can tender for the jingle of Bit.
10:39 Speaker 02 Tender?
10:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, because I feel like there's better musicians listening.
10:42 Speaker 02 Oh, come on. Yeah, well, there's better hosts for shows, but we don't have to tender you as the host. He's got you there. All right, tender the host. I mean, you've got a two-time Gold Lodi winner that you've shelved in the prize cupboard.
10:56 Speaker 02 You have to, oh, Guy Smiley has to be at the front. So, good call, Jack. I think you.
11:02 Speaker 05 I'll, I'll make some music with the assumption that I'm going to pass through.
11:05 Speaker 03 All right, if anyone else is out there and, and would like to also like the tender for the jingle for Bitcoin Blitz. We'll see. It's always good, Jack, and best practice to have a few quotes and a few.
11:17 Speaker 02 That's fair. That is fair. Andy, you gave me a mission yesterday. You said, hey, just as, because Andy was like, just so I can get my head around like, what, what kind of prizes are you thinking? I said, well, I don't know because I'm not in the zone. So Andy gave me a fake money, $10,000 dry run yesterday.
11:37 Speaker 05 Okay, great.
11:37 Speaker 02 He goes, so I was like, all right, well, probably won't be till tomorrow morning because when we chatted, this was in the afternoon. I was like, I'll wake up, I'll, you know, I'll have a coffee and I'll just see where my mind takes me.
11:49 Speaker 03 Give us your top three.
11:52 Speaker 02 There was only a few before I burnt through the 10 grand. There's some small ones, there's some big ones. I also, I, I know that my algorithm is obviously just going to be heavily slanted towards me. I do want people to know, especially, you know, when I compare what ads I get served to what my wife gets served.
12:10 Speaker 05 Right.
12:10 Speaker 02 You know, I don't want people to be like, okay, well, this is just going to be quite a lot of like golf and adventure gear.
12:14 Speaker 05 Yep.
12:15 Speaker 02 And that might not be as exciting for the, for generally speaking, for the women in the audience.
12:19 Speaker 05 Yes.
12:19 Speaker 02 I don't really want that as much. Look, I hear you, but by the same token, I am me. So I'm, it's my impulses, but I will be trying to.
12:29 Speaker 05 Round it out a bit.
12:29 Speaker 02 Keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. So everyone can feel like there's something exciting in the showcase.
12:34 Speaker 05 Yeah, good.
12:35 Speaker 02 Before I even began, there was an ad in my inbox warning me that the fastest selling golf shoes of all time had recently been re, resupplied.
12:48 Speaker 05 Wow.
12:48 Speaker 02 Because they sold out so fast the first time. That's $400. If I was in a zone of unlimited money, yes, I'm buying that.
12:56 Speaker 05 How much of this stuff were you tempted to buy for yourself?
12:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, a bit, a bit. That reminded me then, as I pretended I bought that, that I did see a pen that I meant to buy the other day online, the space pen. You know, the space pens that write upside down.
13:11 Speaker 05 When you're upside down. I think most pens you can write upside down though, can't you?
13:14 Speaker 02 You can for a little bit. Yeah, but you, this, he has sustained upside down.
13:19 Speaker 05 Yeah, how much is that?
13:20 Speaker 02 Anyway, it looks beautiful. Got the NASA logo on it.
13:22 Speaker 05 Nice.
13:22 Speaker 02 200 bucks.
13:23 Speaker 05 Yep.
13:25 Speaker 03 Nine forward it left to go.
13:27 Speaker 02 Then, then I, then I kind of had the thought about, okay, what, okay, this can't just be complete, just things hang once. Um, so it's going through Instagram. The first ad that got me was the vacuum sealable bags for packing.
13:41 Speaker 03 Yep.
13:41 Speaker 02 The very Andy gift.
13:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:43 Speaker 02 Right up your alley. This would be, you shouldn't, well, you could have won it, but you've bought them instead. Two hundred and thirty bucks for a set of four.
13:48 Speaker 03 Okay.
13:49 Speaker 02 Then I saw, I don't even really understand what it is.
13:54 Speaker 02 It was a thing called the Hulk one thousand pulsed laser cleaner. And it's a machine that fires out laser, um, kind of like, it looks like a strobe light, but it's like click, click, click, click, click, like it's firing out a laser. And they were using it on like this old wooden kind of staircase that had peeling paint on it. And it just seamlessly burns off the paint leaves.
14:19 Speaker 03 I'm not sure that's the thing though. I'm not sure that's.
14:21 Speaker 02 No, no, no.
14:22 Speaker 03 How much?
14:24 Speaker 02 They're really expensive.
14:26 Speaker 03 How much?
14:26 Speaker 02 The two hundred watt model is about six grand. How sick would that be? There are people listening to this now that, that understand what I'm talking about and they're like, yep, I, we would love.
14:38 Speaker 03 A laser. An interesting thing that I want to write.
14:40 Speaker 02 Laser.
14:42 Speaker 03 You, you often have bought things that when they arrived, they weren't what you'd hoped.
14:46 Speaker 02 Hmm.
14:47 Speaker 03 And sometimes they don't arrive at all.
14:51 Speaker 02 Is there going? This was, this was from a very reputable, like industrial machinery.
14:55 Speaker 03 Is there going to be a booby prize in Bitcoin Blitz? Like the bankrupt sec segment when you're in Wheel of Fortune? Where you tell everybody about the prize and then go, but it was a scam. So if they, they, so if they choose it.
15:13 Speaker 02 Yep.
15:13 Speaker 03 And you go, I'm sorry, that was one of the scams.
15:16 Speaker 02 We make a game called Ham or Scam. And I go, I tell them about a thing I got and people have to vote ham or scam.
15:23 Speaker 03 Mm hmm.
15:24 Speaker 02 And if it was a scam and I did get ripped off, the people that voted scam, can you know, play in the next round?
15:30 Speaker 03 Yes.
15:30 Speaker 02 And the people that backed me and it did arrive, they get to play in the next round.
15:34 Speaker 03 Okay, great.
15:34 Speaker 02 Put that on the list. Anyway, that's about six grand. Then the last thing I I looked at, because I was, I was looking at my watch, which does sleep tracking, like I've got a Garmin watch. I've been getting very bad sleep scores lately and I don't think it's my fault. I think the watch is starting to die. I've had it for like four years.
15:49 Speaker 03 It's like a heavy watch on your wrist while you're trying to sleep.
15:52 Speaker 02 Nah, but I was like, I used to be doing so well and nothing's really changed, but it's, you know, like, I don't know if you do sleep scoring, but you wake up and you're like, God, I didn't, I just didn't think it was that bad. Anyway, then I remembered, oh, if we're playing this game and I had money to spend, I have been looking for a new watch. Garmin watch, not my model, but the very top of the line. Three thousand nine hundred dollars.
16:16 Speaker 03 You've gone over your ten.
16:17 Speaker 02 Yep, but here's the thing, exactly the same model, but with a slightly, not worse screen, like a still a very good screen, two, four.
16:26 Speaker 03 Okay.
16:27 Speaker 02 But just letting you know, I would be buying the four thousand dollar one.
16:31 Speaker 02 In the end of the game.
16:32 Speaker 03 I think this is good. I think we're getting a good sense of it. I don't need to know anything that you do on Golden Day.
16:38 Speaker 02 Are you happy with this kind of?
16:39 Speaker 03 Love it. I think that realm is great. I think people would love those gifts. We need to work out what they're playing for, whether they get to choose from the showcase or they just get told what they're playing for. We can work that out.
16:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, because it will a fortune you choose from the showcase.
16:53 Speaker 03 Yes.
16:54 Speaker 02 You go shopping, you go, I think I'll have that, I'll have that. But Price is Right, you just get the dryer.
16:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, so that's.
16:59 Speaker 02 Get the cruise.
17:00 Speaker 03 That's what I mean for us to circle back to. But any suggestions for the game, here's up, hamishnady.com, but we're away.
17:05 Speaker 02 I think, I, I think we probably have to let people choose from the showcase, don't we?
17:11 Speaker 03 Yep.
17:12 Speaker 02 I mean, it would be,
17:14 Speaker 02 what, what a heartbreaking scenario for someone in the crowd to be like, God, I want, I want the laser so badly because I have a lot of rust and, and material restoration. Yeah, but then if someone gets up and they really wanted roller blades.
17:28 Speaker 03 Yep.
17:28 Speaker 02 And they get the laser, then we've got a, we've got a lose, lose situation.
17:33 Speaker 03 I quite like the moment in, in Price is Right where, you know, you reveal it's a jet ski. And it was like, wow, great. And the other times where it's like, it's a toaster. And you see the person go, hmm. Okay, so I, I think that we, we want to make sure it's entertaining for those viewing as well to see people not happy.
17:50 Speaker 02 The difference is though, the difference is with a jet ski and a toaster, they're still quite general products.
17:54 Speaker 03 Yep.
17:55 Speaker 02 And I'm worried that if I've bought something very specific, like the Hulk two hundred pulse laser cleaner. That's a toughie for someone to get excited about if you're not in the market for one. All right, we'll talk back to it.
18:13 Speaker 03 Hey, last year I played the stain game with you guys a bit where I'd play.
18:18 Speaker 02 We shouldn't get this excited about something that is a hundred percent just some other radio shows segment.
18:24 Speaker 03 But they don't play a game.
18:25 Speaker 02 We gamify. We gamify, we do.
18:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, where there's a lady called Shannon Lush. She is the expert on removing stains. I think the show's normally at 10am on an AM station called 300W.
18:38 Speaker 02 Yep.
18:39 Speaker 03 Found out she's cheating on 300W and she also does the ABC on a weekend.
18:44 Speaker 02 Really?
18:44 Speaker 03 So she must be the go to person for stains.
18:46 Speaker 02 I don't know, that's fine to take your show on the road. That's, you know, she's got a, she's a stain master.
18:52 Speaker 03 She's a stain gun for hire. This one got sent in to me so many times. Certainly got to thank Jane because she's the one that actually sent the audio as well. But Maria, I just want to give a nod to you, those that were listening to the ABC on the weekend. Hit us up at any time as well, hamishnery.com if anything you want to ask us about 50% go to Hame, 50% go to me. I'm going to change the game today. It's only one item we're playing.
19:16 Speaker 02 Oh my God, here we go. And last time Jack beat me and I was a little bit annoyed and I feel like I was a bit hasty jumping in.
19:21 Speaker 03 And to give you guys a better chance, I've taken the guy that's rung up with his stain, but beeped out the key elements.
19:32 Speaker 02 Okay. As a refresher to the game, we start with her solution for the stain, don't we? Where often it's like, okay, go and get castor oil, mix it with cigarette ash, let it dry outside for two days, it will form a white paste. Take that paste, mix it with lemon.
19:49 Speaker 03 Yep.
19:49 Speaker 02 Juice.
19:50 Speaker 03 Roll that pair of pantyhose.
19:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:51 Speaker 03 Roll a pair of pantyhose.
19:52 Speaker 02 Rub it on softly, that kind of thing.
19:54 Speaker 03 Yeah. So this time I'm going to change the game a little bit. We're going to start with hearing.
19:59 Speaker 02 Him explain the stain.
20:00 Speaker 03 The explain the stain, but with key elements beeped out.
20:03 Speaker 02 Okay.
20:03 Speaker 03 Here we go.
20:04 Speaker 06 Al joins us from Mansfield. Al, what's your stain?
20:08 Speaker 07 Well, I have a rather nice [BLEEP] and it was a bit close to the [BLEEP] and God [BLEEP] spatted on it.
20:15 Speaker 06 Ew. Right, so you need to clean up?
20:19 Speaker 07 Yep.
20:22 Speaker 02 Maybe it's just because of the TV shows I've been watching lately. It does sound like he was just too close to a murder scene.
20:28 Speaker 03 Yes. So he had a rather nice something.
20:31 Speaker 02 Was too close to something else.
20:32 Speaker 03 Too close to something else.
20:34 Speaker 02 And it got something splattered on him.
20:37 Speaker 03 Okay, here is the solution that came in from Shannon.
20:43 Speaker 06 Okay, you're gonna hate this one. You need some female urine.
20:47 Speaker 02 Wow.
20:52 Speaker 02 Every time you hear it, you're just like, it's gonna come out that she's actually Chris Lilley or something. Like, this is a prank and it's just been going on for years and it gets wilder and wilder.
21:01 Speaker 03 When I first got said this, I was like, someone's AI, the funny version.
21:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:06 Speaker 03 And then when more people emailed in and I still had to go and verify it. I still went back through ABC iCards to go, no, no, but yes, this went to air and it's true. Any ideas on what they're trying to clean stain they're trying to get out?
21:23 Speaker 02 I don't like, why would?
21:25 Speaker 03 Splatter, splatter's making me think he's wearing something like a blazer or a top he likes. And the blended top has come off and it's splattered on him.
21:33 Speaker 02 Hmm. The blender top came off.
21:35 Speaker 03 Hmm.
21:36 Speaker 02 That would be more of just a domestic food stain though, wouldn't it?
21:40 Speaker 03 Depends what he's blending.
21:42 Speaker 02 Got too close to the something. What is this? I think that unlocks this whole thing.
21:46 Speaker 03 Well, let's see. Let's keep going and.
21:48 Speaker 02 That's not, so it's not just urine.
21:49 Speaker 03 No, then there's a process where.
21:52 Speaker 06 So you need a litre of female urine. Put it into an ice cream container, stick it out in the sunshine until it diminishes by half.
22:03 Speaker 03 It reduces.
22:03 Speaker 06 So it evaporates by half, it goes down to half a litre. And it'll change colour and it'll change smell. It won't smell like urine anymore. It'll smell like ammonia.
22:13 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, I was about to go, there's high ammonia concentrated urine, but that was the ace up my sleeve. I didn't want Jack to know about. So anything, first of all, it's already not worth it to save the item. Yeah, especially saying to your wife, come on, you've got more than that in you. Cause of 400 mils. I'm not gonna wait another day. Keep drinking. Honey, I've got things to do. Drink.
22:37 Speaker 02 You fill this whole ice cream container up. The final part then of the remedy.
22:42 Speaker 06 Then you put two tablespoons of grated raw potato without the skin on. Make sure there's no skin.
22:49 Speaker 02 This is delicious.
22:49 Speaker 06 And two tablespoons of coarse salt. Stir it through and then you strain it into a cup so you can use it as a sponging material. Then roll a pair of pantyhose up in a soft ball.
23:00 Speaker 02 Always.
23:00 Speaker 06 Dip it in the solution and you wipe it in gentle strokes.
23:05 Speaker 02 Okay, and you can save the potatoes. Cause remember it doesn't taste like you anymore. Save those for hash browns. Cause they're salty potatoes.
23:14 Speaker 05 What is he fixing?
23:16 Speaker 02 I think it's leather. I think it's a leather couch that's a bit close to something. And got something splattered. Is it, I mean, I don't know if I love this answer, but is it a pet's urine? Are you fighting fire with fire? Urine on urine. Is it urine? My guess is maybe urine on urine.
23:34 Speaker 05 Okay, Jacko, what would you like to do? Splashing maybe like outdoor by a pool. Getting too close to the pool with something like maybe the barbecue close to the pool. He's cleaning the outside of the barbecue. Let's have a listen.
23:51 Speaker 07 Al joins us from Mansfield. Al, what's your stain? Well, I have a rather nice oil painting. And it was a bit close to the deep fryer and got oils splattered on it.
24:04 Speaker 07 Right, so you need to clean that?
24:06 Speaker 02 Not, not a problem. Not a problem, you hear it say the Louvre. Look. Hey, where are you doing the dimmies next to the Mona Lisa's? Yeah, we shouldn't have taken the shield off, but we were doing an event. We're running, we're doing, you know, decorate your own donuts and we accidentally.
24:23 Speaker 05 Oh, that's why you've got the ice cream container out front.
24:25 Speaker 02 That's why we have all the female staff out the back.
24:30 Speaker 02 Yes, and that's why we have those troughs.
24:32 Speaker 05 I'm gonna have to give it to Jack for the barbecue.
24:35 Speaker 02 Barbecue was grease, it was grease based.
24:38 Speaker 05 We will play again.
24:40 Speaker 02 It's the best.
24:47 Speaker 03 Time for some more customer service.
25:00 Speaker 02 It's a quality I think we all like to see in the world. And we're the only show that actively audits it. If you've got someone in your life that you would like to gusto check, to see unsuspecting how their gusto levels are. Just contact us and that's what Locky's done.
25:16 Speaker 03 If you're in the service business.
25:18 Speaker 02 Yep.
25:18 Speaker 03 What kind of service you're providing. It starts with gusto when you meet a potential customer.
25:23 Speaker 02 You simply cannot be successful in your field if you lack gusto. If you're slumping around, you're not gonna sell, you're not gonna sell many flowers that way. If you're a florist. You'll sell no flowers if you're a bricklayer, if you're slumping around. But it's still gusto of the highest importance. Locky's contact is he's gone, listen, he's got a mate, Riley, who's just joined his wife's cleaning business. Riley has joined his wife.
25:48 Speaker 03 Also Riley's wife.
25:50 Speaker 02 Riley, Riley is married to Sam. Riley and Sam have joined forces as a business. Locky's married to neither of them, but Locky is friends with Riley. So he's gone, this mate has, well, joined slash just tacked on to his wife's business. So Sam's spring cleaning was the business. So Sam's cleaning things, you know, clearing out one offs or regular work. You know, that's been her jam for some time.
26:17 Speaker 02 He's included the flyer here. So it's like, we are now expanding. They're offering lawn mowing, gardening, you know, yard work as well.
26:25 Speaker 03 So called Riley for that.
26:26 Speaker 02 That's the bit that Riley's tacked on to.
26:28 Speaker 03 Right. So he's really buying into her IP. It seemed like she had the stronger.
26:32 Speaker 02 Well, the business is Sam's spring cleaning.
26:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:35 Speaker 02 There is no sub-business here. There's, it's not Riley's lawn work. It's just, he would be working for Sam's spring cleaning.
26:43 Speaker 03 Yep.
26:44 Speaker 02 But as a new employee, you would hope that he has a lot of gusto. And that's what Locky's hoping. He said, look, I'd love you guys to do a double gusto check without them knowing. And it is, it's a gusto off between them.
26:56 Speaker 03 Okay. So he rings Sam. Is that what you're saying? So we ring Sam?
26:59 Speaker 02 Ring Sam first and quickly get, you know, I'll, why don't I just, I'll be the same person for both.
27:05 Speaker 03 That's
27:05 Speaker 02 I'll ask you three questions, three questions only. I think I'll be an old man because I think they're listeners of the show. So we'll do our best to disguise the voice.
27:13 Speaker 03 Great. And look, obviously we often start on greetings. That's the first one.
27:17 Speaker 02 I think honestly, how are you this fine day? It's a bit of an old man thing to say. And I think if someone says, how are you this fine day?
27:24 Speaker 03 Love it.
27:25 Speaker 02 A correct, that's a high gusto greeting and you'd like it to be met.
27:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:30 Speaker 02 Um.
27:30 Speaker 03 Then the question, what query are you going to ask about?
27:33 Speaker 02 I think you just go for the, you've got to go for the basic. I am tossing up whether I get you over for a one-off spring clean.
27:40 Speaker 03 Hmm.
27:40 Speaker 02 Is it worth the money?
27:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, great.
27:42 Speaker 02 And why should I hire you?
27:43 Speaker 03 Great.
27:44 Speaker 02 And then at the end, I think going.
27:46 Speaker 03 And try and get out of the next, we're going to get through two of these.
27:48 Speaker 02 Well, I really hope you have a wonderful day.
27:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, like.
27:50 Speaker 02 Have a wonderful day. And the response to have a wonderful day, I think is a good indicator of gusto.
27:53 Speaker 03 Okay. And the goodbye. So Jack and I.
27:55 Speaker 02 It's a quick hit.
27:56 Speaker 05 So there's three marks per person.
27:58 Speaker 03 Three marks per person, all out of 10. Jack and I will be marking as we go and we'll review them after each. Um, old man ham.
28:07 Speaker 02 Good luck.
28:08 Speaker 03 Good luck.
28:09 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
28:09 Speaker 03 And we're starting with, Jack, do you have Sam's?
28:12 Speaker 02 I've got Sam's number from the flyer. Here we go.
28:18 Speaker 06 Hello, Sam speaking.
28:20 Speaker 02 Oh, is it, uh, is it Sam's spring cleaning?
28:23 Speaker 06 Yes, it is. Yep.
28:25 Speaker 02 Rick Staisley is my name. How are you?
28:27 Speaker 06 Oh, good thanks. How are you? Sorry, you're calling from a, um, private number.
28:30 Speaker 02 Oh, yes. I've got that turned off to stop scammers.
28:34 Speaker 06 Yep, fair enough.
28:35 Speaker 02 Um, well, I'm just wondering, how are you this fine day?
28:39 Speaker 06 Good, thank you. How are you?
28:40 Speaker 02 Oh, very good, very good. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm interested in hiring your services.
28:45 Speaker 06 Um, yeah.
28:45 Speaker 02 But I, I, I sort of want a, I want a one-off spring clean.
28:50 Speaker 06 Um, yep.
28:51 Speaker 02 Albeit the wrong month. Uh, but I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a little unsure if it's worth the money, but I, I wonder if you just tell me why I should do it. Why I should hire you?
29:02 Speaker 06 Um, I don't know. That's a, yep. Um, you've kind of got caught me off guard here.
29:09 Speaker 02 Okay.
29:10 Speaker 06 Um. Sorry, I'm just at home with my one year old daughter. So you've just thrown me off guard. Um.
29:17 Speaker 02 Times.
29:17 Speaker 06 Yes. Uh, yeah, I, I have literally no idea what to say right now.
29:25 Speaker 02 Okay, I bet you'd provide the full service.
29:28 Speaker 06 Of cleaning.
29:29 Speaker 02 Yes.
29:29 Speaker 06 So my normal, so obviously my, my title is Sam's Spring Cleaning.
29:33 Speaker 02 Yep.
29:33 Speaker 06 Uh, but I do, most of my clients are regulars, weekly or fortnightly, and I just do the bathrooms, the floors, um, window sills. Uh.
29:42 Speaker 02 I've, I've got them all. Sounds good. Yep. Okay. Well, I think I'm interested. I'll, I'll have a, I'll talk to my wife and we'll give you a call back, but I hope you have a wonderful day.
29:52 Speaker 06 Thank you so much. Thank you.
29:54 Speaker 02 Thank you.
29:55 Speaker 06 Thanks. Bye.
29:57 Speaker 03 Wow. Wow. Lots to unpack. Wow, that's, we, let's give them their scores now. I'm going to say, well done, by the way. What's, what was your name again?
30:08 Speaker 02 Uh, Rick, something.
30:10 Speaker 03 For the Rick.
30:12 Speaker 02 I'm about to call you Dennison.
30:13 Speaker 03 Um.
30:13 Speaker 02 I almost called myself Ralph. It took a swerve at the end and I thought if they are listeners, who knows?
30:20 Speaker 03 I think.
30:20 Speaker 02 Hear the word Ralph out of my mouth, they might identify it very quickly.
30:24 Speaker 03 I'm going to say greeting nine.
30:28 Speaker 02 High energy, high gust day.
30:29 Speaker 03 After you said how your day, she was surprised and matched you, actually went past it.
30:34 Speaker 02 I think people like to hear how are you this fine day. Reminds you that each day is a, is a blessing.
30:39 Speaker 03 Yep, yep. Promoting her business, the second one.
30:43 Speaker 02 I admit I threw her for a loop because it, it's.
30:47 Speaker 03 Nah. I, I don't think it's, it wasn't that much of a difficult question.
30:52 Speaker 02 It wasn't. She's a working mom. I mean, she's there with her one year old. I've called her in the middle of childcare.
30:58 Speaker 03 I'm giving her a generous four. I gave her a two. Yeah, I think it's more accurate.
31:03 Speaker 02 It was, I mean, look, the door was wide open to go, look, you've never seen a house as clean as this. You're going to love it.
31:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:08 Speaker 02 And.
31:09 Speaker 03 What, what are you going with him? Three then?
31:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, look, I mean, I'm, I'm, I just sympathize. I mean, she had her hands full. As soon as you hear, I've got a one year old here, mate. I'm not really interested in selling you a one off clean. I do, I do.
31:23 Speaker 03 Okay.
31:24 Speaker 02 It's a three.
31:25 Speaker 03 But then the goodbye.
31:26 Speaker 02 Even just, even just as a husband, I was like, I've got to get off the phone here. This is, I'm wasting this one. This is not what she wants to be doing.
31:34 Speaker 03 I'm going to give her a 10 for the goodbye.
31:36 Speaker 02 Goodbye was lovely, wasn't it?
31:37 Speaker 03 10 out of 10.
31:38 Speaker 02 Augusta was high, I think, because she didn't want to talk to Rick anymore. I think it was more excitement to, to get off the phone with Rick. So what have you, what have you guys scored her there?
31:48 Speaker 03 It's, it's a nine, a three and a 10. It takes it a 22 out of 30.
31:53 Speaker 02 Yep.
31:54 Speaker 03 It is good to note that finishing on a 10 does leave you with a good taste in your mouth, though. Because now when I think back to the call, I think, oh, she was nice. Even though in the middle, I've got a two out of 10 in here. That is so true. It's like when you're looking at the moguls and they put 50% on the aerial and weighted versus the knee work or something like that.
32:12 Speaker 02 That's a great reference. Look, I mean, even in a Winter Olympics year, it's a.
32:20 Speaker 02 It's a method. Had you done that, had you done that two years ago, you would have probably, we would have slumped. We would have slumped for a show.
32:31 Speaker 03 Gone.
32:33 Speaker 02 No, leave it in.
32:34 Speaker 03 Go for it.
32:36 Speaker 02 All right, well, let's see, let's see how Riley goes. Um, hopefully they're not in the same house on speakerphone.
32:42 Speaker 03 I doubt it because she wouldn't have gone, I've got here a one year old and been worried about it. If he was there, I'd be able to help her.
32:48 Speaker 02 That's true, that's true.
32:50 Speaker 03 But marking on the same things, I imagine. Yeah, greeting.
32:52 Speaker 02 Going to try and do the same script.
32:54 Speaker 03 The question. As possible. And the goodbye. Here we go, Riley.
33:02 Speaker 02 Hello.
33:04 Speaker 03 Oh, hello, is that, is that Sam's spring cleaning?
33:07 Speaker 02 No, it's not, sorry.
33:09 Speaker 03 So I've got your number here as.
33:10 Speaker 02 Oh, that's my. I'm actually hoping to, is this the yard work? I've got some yard work I need doing. Are you the fellow in charge of that?
33:21 Speaker 05 Ah, yes, yeah, yeah, yep.
33:23 Speaker 02 What's your name?
33:25 Speaker 05 Riley, sorry. Where are you local?
33:29 Speaker 02 Yes, yes, yes, I am. I just saw, I just, I just got your number off Facebook.
33:34 Speaker 05 Oh, yeah, no worries.
33:36 Speaker 02 Rick's my name. Well, first of all, sorry. How are you this fine day?
33:40 Speaker 05 No, not bad, mate.
33:43 Speaker 02 Well, I'm looking, getting a sort of a one-off, um, full yard do-over. I've got a bit of bracken overgrown and lawn stuff and I'm probably getting a bit old for it. I'm unsure if it's, if it's, if it's worth the money. I do want a good job done, but I suppose my question to you is why are you the right man for the job?
34:05 Speaker 05 Well, I'll get it done, I guess, but where are you based? Where are you living?
34:10 Speaker 02 At the moment, I'm at my sister's house because the house is quite a.
34:13 Speaker 05 Where's, where's your house? Because I can come and have a look at it if you want.
34:16 Speaker 02 I appreciate that.
34:18 Speaker 05 Let me know.
34:19 Speaker 02 Okay, well, actually, why don't I give you a buzz back and, um, and then I'll arrange a time to meet there. Um, let me give you a call back in 10 minutes. Is that all right?
34:27 Speaker 05 No worries at all.
34:29 Speaker 02 I hope you have a wonderful day.
34:31 Speaker 05 You too.
34:37 Speaker 02 Now, not a hundred percent.
34:38 Speaker 03 Oh, you're in your sister's house.
34:42 Speaker 02 Got no idea where these guys are.
34:44 Speaker 05 No, we got, we got, we got the right amount. We got all we needed from Riley. Um, I'm giving his greeting a four. That was generous.
34:53 Speaker 02 It was cursed, wasn't it?
34:54 Speaker 05 It was cursed and when you said this is Sam's Spring Cleaning and his number is on the flyer.
35:00 Speaker 02 He said no.
35:02 Speaker 05 It's an odd thing to say.
35:04 Speaker 02 He's forgotten that he's added himself to the business.
35:08 Speaker 03 So that's problematic.
35:09 Speaker 02 He's left. Yeah, unless it's an old flyer. Okay.
35:12 Speaker 03 Four, is he the man for the job? Can you give him a six?
35:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, I actually, I liked, I mean, it was brief, but I liked his rationale.
35:22 Speaker 03 Yeah. Get the job done and I'll come and have a look at it. You get extra points for that.
35:26 Speaker 02 That is.
35:26 Speaker 03 So maybe, should it be seven?
35:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:28 Speaker 03 Okay.
35:28 Speaker 02 I'd go seven or eight for that. And I, but I think, you know, again, partly the question, the, the, the question is to blame there. If someone called, if you're doing yard work and someone calls you and goes, why should I hire you? Because I'll do it, mate.
35:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I think.
35:40 Speaker 02 I said I'd do it and I'll do it. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna come over and just play electric guitar in your backyard and leave.
35:49 Speaker 02 Why do you think you should hire me?
35:52 Speaker 03 I still think you've got an opportunity for a customer there and you can go, yep, we're the best at this.
35:57 Speaker 02 This is, this is where he excels.
35:58 Speaker 03 I love long grass. I can do the edges. That's a great customer.
36:02 Speaker 02 Never had a pollen issue in my life. Rub my face and it doesn't bother me.
36:06 Speaker 03 The goodbye, sorry to say, so one. It's the first time I've ever given a one.
36:12 Speaker 02 Kurt.
36:13 Speaker 03 It was Kurt, wasn't it?
36:14 Speaker 02 I think, I think again, I'm gonna play the sympathetic card here and go because he's had a man here refuse to tell him his address. So you'd be, as a, as someone running a small business, you go, okay, well, I don't know how likely this is gonna be, that this is a job.
36:29 Speaker 03 Okay, we'll give it, we'll give him a.
36:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, give him a two.
36:32 Speaker 03 A two? You're a red flag customer at that stage.
36:34 Speaker 02 That's exactly right.
36:35 Speaker 03 Why can't you just say your address? It's thirteen out of thirty though. It's, it's, it's less than a half.
36:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, Sam's got him.
36:43 Speaker 03 Yeah. Do we want to, do we want to ring back them both or at least Sam and just say, are you sure about adding Riley?
36:51 Speaker 02 I think we gotta call Sam back.
36:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. Give Sam another buzz.
37:00 Speaker 06 Hello.
37:01 Speaker 03 Sam.
37:01 Speaker 02 Sam, it's Hamish and Andy here. How are you going?
37:05 Speaker 06 Oh my God!
37:08 Speaker 06 What is happening?
37:09 Speaker 03 Well, you've just submitted-
37:11 Speaker 02 Did a very realistic old man called Rick call you a few minutes ago.
37:17 Speaker 03 Yeah. You've just been subjected to a gusto check, Sam, for your business.
37:23 Speaker 06 Oh my God.
37:24 Speaker 03 I'm not sure if you've ever heard us do gusto checks before, but this is where we check whether the people and their small businesses are answering the phones and offering service with the right amount of gusto that's going to entice customers to come and use them.
37:35 Speaker 06 Well, I failed because I couldn't even give him an answer.
37:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
37:38 Speaker 02 No, well, you'd be surprised. You'd be surprised, Sam, because your husband's mate, Locky, has nominated you guys to go-
37:46 Speaker 06 Oh!
37:47 Speaker 02 Be like Riley's, you know, he's recently added himself to Sam's Spring Cleaning as the head of garden work. And Locky was like, "I think you need to do a gusto check to both of them to see who's got the most gusto." So we called you and then we called, then we called your husband Riley.
38:04 Speaker 03 And because obviously he's being added to your business, it seems, from the way we can see it, we wanted to make sure that he's reaching the marks that you have set and the level you've set as far as gusto. You got a 22 out of 30. Yes, in the middle, where you didn't quite know what to say, definitely, to sell your own business. It was your only misstep.
38:23 Speaker 02 Gusto is not knowledge. Gusto is an attitude.
38:27 Speaker 03 But your greeting and your goodbye were outstanding.
38:30 Speaker 06 Oh, thank you so much.
38:32 Speaker 03 Riley on the other hand-
38:33 Speaker 06 Oh my God.
38:33 Speaker 03 We've got more nervous news to give you. I mean, obviously, how long has Riley been working underneath your business name?
38:41 Speaker 06 Oh, it's like a month. It was just like a side gig. He has a full-time job. He was just gonna come and help do the launch.
38:47 Speaker 03 How's it feel? How's it feeling as a- The new kind of setup.
38:51 Speaker 06 As in with him?
38:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
38:53 Speaker 06 It's, um, it's, we don't work together, obviously, because I don't think I could do that. Love him, but you know.
38:59 Speaker 03 Yep.
39:00 Speaker 06 Um, you know, it's, it is going well. We make, because a lot of end of lease cleans, a lot of people are selling their properties and stuff. Like, we do get quite a bit of business luckily.
39:07 Speaker 03 Okay, but are you seeing results from Riley's side?
39:11 Speaker 06 Oh, yeah, he's fantastic. It was actually my idea. So, yeah.
39:15 Speaker 02 Would you say you're his boss? Are we talking to Riley's boss here? Because, I mean, he works for Sam's Spring Cleaning. It's not Riley's yard work. It's like.
39:22 Speaker 06 Well, I pay, I pay him, so I guess I am the boss.
39:25 Speaker 02 Okay, well, then it breaks our heart a bit to tell his boss he did not score as highly as you in the gusto check.
39:35 Speaker 06 Oh, no. How do I fire somebody I love so much?
39:38 Speaker 03 I know.
39:42 Speaker 02 But the good news is it's not our job. That's your job. So, good luck.
39:50 Speaker 02 Ando, you, I mean, you're obviously well aware, you've been, you've had a front row seat for nearly 25 years to how I live my life. Um, as a fast and loose man.
40:00 Speaker 03 Yep.
40:00 Speaker 02 And as, as time goes on, it's not changing.
40:04 Speaker 03 No, that was, that's been the most surprising thing I, I gotta say. I did suspect some behaviours of the 19-year-old Hame you'd grown out of.
40:14 Speaker 02 I mean, some, I guess I've grown out of, but in terms of, yeah.
40:18 Speaker 03 Oh, you've grown out of a lot of them, but I'm saying there were some behaviours that I liked.
40:20 Speaker 02 The fast and looseness.
40:21 Speaker 03 The fast and looseness, I thought you'd get past that at some point.
40:24 Speaker 02 And just in terms of the belief, the dominant, the driving part, the part of my brain that is running the show, the belief it has that it can do what it, what it's said, what it's told people it can do. The belief it has is in its own plans, but I want you to know, I realised something the other day. I have this, this over optimistic, um, person driving my brain.
40:49 Speaker 03 Yes.
40:49 Speaker 02 There's, that, that's, that's who's in control. Because I realised the other day.
40:55 Speaker 02 I would gen it. I had something cancelled on me at the last minute, sort of like an hour long appointment. And it made my day kind of reshuffle. And I, I was sort of like, just comfortably on time to everything for the rest of the day. And it was, I'm always about 10 minutes late. And I'm all, I like, I've always just mistimed everything. And I thought, this is actually, I actually need to invent an app that I book my calendar and then it takes one thing out of the day. And it, and it, and it emails, maybe I can get AI to do this. And it emails that person going, hey, Hamish doesn't know this has happened. Yes. He doesn't get to select what gets deleted. Um, but from experience, he does put 110% too much in the day. This is great. You've been selected today to be cancelled. We'll find another time for you. And meanwhile,
41:40 Speaker 02 then I would be there going, this is about the right amount of things for the day. But if left to my own devices, I put too many in. But here's something I want you to know, Ando. I realized the other day that whilst this fast and loose guy drives my brain, you are, I have another voice in there. It doesn't get a say, doesn't get a vote, not allowed to touch the steering wheel or the pedals. But the other voice is in there. And I think it's you. I think it's your voice. And it, it will comment throughout the day in a kind way. And I, it's often kind of just surprised, a little bit surprised at what the driver's doing.
42:18 Speaker 02 So what kind of comments will I make? It won't go, it won't be as direct as going like, don't do that. It'll be more like, oh, okay. I wonder how that's, okay, well, you know, you're the driver. So it doesn't backseat drive, but it's also not going, yeah, I can see what you're doing. Yeah. For example, the other day, I was again, running a little bit late. And I was starving. And I thought to myself, I'm going to need to get a food that I can eat whilst moving. So I was sort of in the city and I was like, okay, well, that rules out. Can't have a bowl. Can't have something you might need chopsticks for. I need a one-handed food. And I bought a massive schnitzel burger.
43:01 Speaker 02 I was also going to somewhere where I needed to turn up. Presentable. Semi-presentable was a meeting. Now, so I buy the massive schnitzel burger. My head goes, great, this will, I'll turn up well fed. Yum, yum, yum. That looks great. I'm very excited to eat this. That's the driver. You in my head go, oh, okay. Are you sure that's the right thing to eat with one hand while you're driving? And the driver in my brain goes, yeah, this will be great. We're so excited about this burger. And you're like, okay, that's not how I would do it. I would, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have. It's like the tone, you remember when you were a kid and you go to a friend's house for the first time? And you're like, oh, okay. We don't do it like that in our house.
43:46 Speaker 03 Yes.
43:47 Speaker 02 Like you're kind of like, oh my God, can you guys just have paddle pops after dinner? Like we, we're gonna do it, that's not, that's not how things work in our house. Anyway, eating the massive schnitzel. Some unfortunately did get loose and kind of your cascades down the front of the top. And it was hot. So again, I'm getting an oil burn through my shorts.
44:07 Speaker 03 And did you have any napkins down, anything like catching?
44:12 Speaker 02 No, down.
44:14 Speaker 03 If I find myself in that situation, I've got napkins in the car for all those.
44:20 Speaker 02 Clean ones.
44:23 Speaker 02 Cause yeah, I've got napkins in the car, mate, but they're covered in two week old chipotle. I don't have clean napkins to lay down in the car. But a serial killer that carries around like a little tarp in case I'm gonna make a mess. No, I mean, but then you're in my head going, and again, to your credit, it doesn't go told you so.
44:43 Speaker 03 Yes.
44:44 Speaker 02 It goes, oh, yeah.
44:48 Speaker 02 We did worry that might happen, didn't we? And then my driver, the person driving my brain will often be like, well, you could have been a little bit more vocal. And you're like, well, I don't really get a vote, so just.
44:58 Speaker 03 Well, my theory, the assumption for me was you would grow out of these things because when we were younger, it's like, oh, he hasn't collected enough data to realise that this is probably the wrong way to approach it. Twenty five years of friendship later, I feel like you've seen most scenarios multiple times. So what is your brain thinking?
45:17 Speaker 02 I got this.
45:19 Speaker 03 The last time, what, the last six times was unlucky?
45:22 Speaker 02 Yep. No, this one, this will work. And I just, I think I just love a high risk, high reward scenario.
45:28 Speaker 03 There's no, there's not that high a reward.
45:30 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah, you eat a huge schnitzel, you're on time and you feel great.
45:38 Speaker 01 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.
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