2025 Ep 316 - Most Irrelevant Purchase of the Year

After a weekend clean-up, Hamish hosts the awards for “Most Irrelevant Purchases” in the Foster-Blake household. More of you Upset Andy, and Power Moves features one for Facebook Marketplace enthusiasts. Hamish proudly declares himself an “angel,” and the boys take “ball golf” very seriously - including a full-course ring-around. Plus, Andy admits how Bec got one over on him. 1. Irrelevant purchases awards 2. Power moves 3. Hamish the angel 4. Upset Andy 5. Ball golf 6. Bec power moves Andy

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me M.

• 0:26Speaker 03

  Hamish.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Ass.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Ass.

• 0:28Speaker 04

  I know, because Andy, just before we started, Andy goes, oh, this is a hard one. I was like, well, I won't waste everyone's time guessing, you know, people that James Bond knows.

• 0:37Speaker 02

  Well, that's what I thought. Isn't that one of the characters in James Bond?

• 0:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not going to say ahoy to my Q Jack, but I am going to say ahoy to my S Jack.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Letters of the alphabet.

• 0:47Speaker 04

  You're right. I guess it wasn't that hard.

• 0:49Speaker 03

  No, it's a popular trio. Ahoy to me N, Andy. MSN, but they are, it's not, not Microsoft related.

• 0:59Speaker 04

  Messenger?

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Football fans would know exactly who this is because they are referred to as an unbelievable attacking trio called MSN, the best of all time, apparently.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  What, what type of football?

• 1:13Speaker 03

  Soccer.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Ball, oh, ball football.

• 1:15Speaker 03

  Ball football. Round ball football.

• 1:19Speaker 04

  Round ball football. Oh, great. Um, talisando.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  Well, who's the biggest M?

• 1:26Speaker 04

  M, maybe Mbappe?

• 1:27Speaker 03

  No, no, like I would say more famous than him, no, probably the best of all time.

• 1:31Speaker 04

  Messi.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  So it was the, at Barcelona, it was Messi, Suarez and Neymar were the all time attacking duo of all time.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  And to watch, to watch them kick the round ball between them was absolute ballet.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  They were the best at round ball football that I've seen. Ahoy also to Ella, who is in Singapore, who went to hamishandandy.com to let us know what she's been up to.

• 1:55Speaker 05

  Ahoy, I'm Andy and the little boy. Ella here, Kiwi, living in Singapore. Hey, listen, I'm really glad that Jingle Justice is back on the pod. It's such a great segment, maybe a little bit too great because I keep finding myself going back to episode. Three hundred and six to thirty six minutes and five seconds so that I can listen to Smart Machina. I'm just wondering if we can get a Spotify release on this one. Anyway, well, I've got the mic. Shout out to my brother Nah who introduced me to the pod and is actually getting married in December. Bit of an extreme way to get me to come and visit him. But anyway, that's that. Cheers, guys. Love the pod.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Anya Ella.

• 2:35Speaker 04

  Jack, would you, would you put out Smart Machina on Spotify?

• 2:39Speaker 02

  I don't know how you do it. I do have a Spotify page.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, you've released songs.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've got a Smart Machina on it. Yeah, I should do it. And what's the handle for it so people can find it? I think you just search Jack Post. All right. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 04

  Put it out or ask your Smart Machina how to do it. That's the joy of the song.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Pam, you wanted the top of today's pod?

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Um, I would. Thanks, guys. And look, it's, it's to run a, this is a bit of a personal one, bit of a one that relates to my household, um, Foster Blake household. Coming towards the end of the year, we're kind of packing, we're cleaning, we went through a big cleanup on the weekend. You know, let's clean up the house. And I just thought, look, there's, we all know this, we all know the problem I have with buying stuff online.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Oh, my gosh. The Hard Rockage collection outside of your.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  It's too good for Hard Rockage. Oh.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  At least you know, you, you are good at putting your hand up and going, hey, I never used that flamethrower dog lead or whatever it is. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna move that on rather than this quarter. I'm curious about what a flamethrower dog lead would be required.

• 3:41Speaker 04

  You actually.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Turns your dog into an attack dog. You incinerate the poo straight up, straight up, it happens.

• 3:47Speaker 04

  Now we turn around and just point, use the laser sight to line it up. Actually, really good invention, Jack. Uh, no, don't have that. Did, remember I had the flaming wallet? Where you could open up the wallet and.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  I think it was just for flair. It was when you open your wallet at a bar, like it, it, there was flames that came out. It was a little squirt of something and it like lit, it ignited with a flint.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  It did soak your money. Like you did.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  It was terrible.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  All your stuff smelled of lighter fluid. And there was one incident where my hand quickly, quickly and not dangerously caught on fire.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  So I'm not having a go at the makers, but you could see why I had to, I had to get that from overseas. That was not available in Australia. I'm gonna have a small awards ceremony today for the most irrelevant purchases in the Blake household, the Foster Blake household this year. I love this. Um, good luck. It's between myself and my wife. Mm-hmm. We'll see who takes out. Let's run through the top five. Okay. And we'll see who takes out, um, the prestigious awards here. Jack, go for it.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  I might do it third person too, so I feel, I don't feel as bad. Yeah, good idea. Okay. Welcome everyone to the most irrelevant purchases in the Foster Blake household. Coming in at number five, the winner is Hamish Blake. Congratulations,

• 5:11Speaker 04

  Hamish, with a Theragun. Now, not normally an irrelevant purchase, but Hamish, you purchased this because you believe you had lost your other Theragun or left it somewhere. Then, when you bought the new Theragun, you thought, where's a good place to store this? And you thought, I know, under the bed. When you put it under the bed, you found your old Theragun. Thank you. This is a truly expensive and irrelevant purchase. Yes. Same make and model? Slightly updated, so there is a, there is a silver lining. All right. Coming in at number four, the winner of the number four most irrelevant purchase is Hamish Blake.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  Well done. Well, congratulations. Volatile for Hamish. You bought not one, but three golf training aids that are the same thing. You bought them because you were sure you would lose one and it would be nice to have one at home and one in your golf bag. The training aid is an inflatable ball to put between your arms to keep your arms in the right shape. Someone at the driving range showed you that a balloon can be used for the same thing and is more convenient. They were right. You did not need three of these custom-made inflatable balls. Well done, well done. All right. Coming in at number three, the winner is Hamish Blake. Well done. Well done. Congrats.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Congratulations Hamish. This is for a recent purchase from the other week. It's the brand new Oakley Meta sunglasses. These haven't arrived yet, but since you don't use the Meta Ray-Bans that you do own and have owned for a year, this was a very curious choice to also buy now the Oakley models with AI in them. Possible factor you bought it is because a guy on the golf course told you, you can ask your glasses how far it is to the hole. And simply by using the camera on board, your glasses can tell you. You were sold on that fact and you immediately bought a pair. That fact later turned out to be not true. The glasses cannot do that. That is not a feature of the glasses. And he was just saying something, I guess for the fun of it.

• 7:21Speaker 04

  Congratulations. Congratulations, Hamish. And enjoy your new glasses. All right. Ooh, now we're getting to the pointy end. Shopping in at number two. Yes. Number two on the Blake family's most irrelevant purchase list. The winner is Hamish Blake. Yes, yes. He's my favourite guy. He's now within striking distance of a clean sweep, baby. Number two, most irrelevant purchase was a stretching stick. This six foot long stick, an incredible piece of equipment was marketed to you as an essential piece of mobility equipment. It would help free up your back, your hips, any number of joints across your body.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  If you own this special stick to lean on while you stretched. The stick came in four pieces. You had to screw them together. After you screw them together and set them up on a yoga mat in the garage to start doing some stretching, you couldn't help but notice the broomstick handle that was also in the garage. Curious as if to whether the broom handle provided the same benefits as the four piece stick you'd bought. You tried the broom handle. It was the same.

• 8:34Speaker 04

  You did not need a four-piece screwable stick. You did not need to own that. Well done, Hamish Blake. It's also quite heavy and a real nuisance. Now the big one. Ladies and gentlemen, you've stuck around this long. It's been a long ceremony, but this is what we're in it for. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the big one. The number one most irrelevant purchase of the Blake family household this year goes to... Please, please. Zoe Foster. Wow. Oh my god. Crazy scenes. Wow, that is crazy. All right, congratulations Zoe. Making her debut on the list and taking top spot.

• 9:19Speaker 04

  The gold award for useless purchases does go to Zoe for a device she bought that is best described as kind of a chin brace that is designed for people who are looking at their phone too much. So they can rest their chin on it and not get neck pain. Rather than avoiding your phone, simply put the chin rest on and scroll away. Despite the invention, having a somewhat practical use, the chin rest has been observed to be used zero times in the house, making it this year's grand winner. Congratulations Zoe. That, I mean, it's a shock.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Look, against a formidable opponent, Hamish, you've got to be proud of Zoe to be able to stand up and take one out this year. Cause honorable mention for Zoe too, she, cause I was just like, mate, what is this? She's like, oh, I was hoping you wouldn't see that. I was like, this has, and I was like, in this house, this is crazy. This has to be the worst thing that's been bought in this house. And she's like, well, I don't know what you're up to. I don't know what's in all your packages. Like, look, there've been some stinkers, there've been some stinkers on my side. But the chin, the chin rest is... Amazing. That's a peach. Well done, Zoe. You might be getting it for Christmas.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  It may be the last time before the government mandated break kicks in, Ham, but power moves keep flooding in hamishnetty.com. 50% for to your side, 50% for to mine. So we've got to reveal them to each other. Let's do it.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Shall we kick it off?

• 10:54Speaker 04

  Go for it.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  From Matty Finn. On you, Matty. Oh, do you? Works best when in a big group. When a new person comes to join the table, say in front of everyone, oh, you're up to something. Immediately this puts them on the defensive and they deny it, but everyone's very wary of them for the rest of the dinner.

• 11:19Speaker 04

  And nothing screams that someone's up to something like saying, I'm not up to anything.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  It's a good move. Um, Blake Dillon, ah, oh, do you Blake? Demeaning power move used against him.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  They, this is, these are often some of the best ones because this is from the field and you go, okay, that was, that was well played by this guy. Blake was selling some shoes on Facebook Marketplace. The buyer comes to the house and he's keeping, keeping Blake updated with arrival times. Like, I'll be there in 10, I'll be there in five, et cetera. When he gets to Blake's house, he hits me with an, I'm here. I go to the front door, says Blake, and he's not there, but sitting in the car waiting as if I was a drive through. I'm barefoot in a singlet and footy shorts and it's pissing down with rain. Stood at the doorway, looking at him, he looked at me, no one moved until I caved. And I took the shoes to his window, massive walk of shame back into the house.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Would you have already paid for them? I'm interested in that transaction there.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  So when you're selling something on Marketplace, and I know it a few times, you know, like you just, you always, you're like, maybe this time it'll be different. Every time you go to Marketplace, maybe this time it would be a good tran, this is, I'll get a good price and it'll be a pleasant experience. But when you go into the sale on Marketplace, your hopes are high, the big money and a fast transaction. And then you just, everyone, you just get smashed on price. There's always conditions on every, so by the time you're at the guys, it's just like, mate, just take the shoes. Like, I'm so over this, I've had the worst time doing this. It's just that one final bit of power from the buyer.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I think I mentioned on the pod where that guy bought the dining table chairs from me and there's kind of 12 of them.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  And rocks up.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Hey, by himself.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  By himself. He goes, oh, sorry, the kids seats are in the car. I'm going to have to do multiple drops. Where do you live? He lived 40 minutes away. Like, no, no. He's like, well, can you help me get a few in here? I can maybe get it down to two trips, not three. It's like, I'm not waiting here for the next four hours for you to go back.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  That is the thing that Facebook Marketplace is, I know we've got to move on, but it's that thing going, no, no. I'm wholesaling this item. I'm not a retail experience. I don't owe you customer service. I'm not here to spend half a day with you facilitating the transaction. This is a wholesale experience. You just get the goods and you're expected to deal with them after this.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  And I had another lady come from a filing cabinet, which is on wheels. And she said, hmm.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  That's right, she had to wheel it home.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Took the train here. And I was like, okay, well, there's the filing cabinet. Well, she pushed it home. She said, what do we propose to do? I was like, oh, you get an Uber. She said, that'd be a bit much. And I was like, well, it's on wheels. She just wheeled it back to the train station.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  You don't have to buy the ticket, just take it on the train.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  But at some point, it's on the person. It's that's the buyer's fault.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  At all points, at all points.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  This is from Ben Bachmann in Norway. Powermove, when emailing a resume or CV for a job, name the file on your resume, resume dash English version.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  It implies you're fluent in multiple languages.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Really good, really good.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  This is from Dixon in the UK. Said, can be using a group setting all one on one. Ask someone what they're currently reading. When they answer, no matter what the book, you reply with, still?

• 14:48Speaker 04

  Love it.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  This is from Corey Bernstein. I'm not sure whether this is this one or not, but you guys can be the judge. Best used at any social setting, usually between males. I suggest when you first meet your girlfriend's father for the first time.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  After shaking someone's hand, immediately sniff your hand, raise your eyebrows and go, hmm, interesting.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  It's a bold move. It's a bold move for her dad. All right, time for one more. This is from Jordan. Jordan Salmon. Works best for males for reasons that will become apparent. We've seen a male colleague that's sporting a new haircut. Compliment them by saying, wow, nice pixie cut. This gives the impression that they have accidentally gone and got a hairstyle very popular with women.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  Guys, something very special happened to me a few days ago. I discovered something about myself and I didn't become a new person. I guess it was revealed to me what I was. I'll paint the picture for you. Near the kids' school, they're like, assembly hall, right? Is sort of semi-connected to, it's part of a church. There's a church next door, not part of the school, but it's next door. Went to, went to one of the kids' assemblies, milling around outside. And a lady, who at first I thought was another school parent, came up, but realised she wasn't, sort of a lady came up, she was quite flustered. And she was a little, little older, but kind of like grabbed my arm, was like a little bit unstable, and said, can you please help me? Said, yeah, what's going on? Of course. How are you going?

• 16:37Speaker 04

  I really need your help. She said, I'm sorry, I've actually just come out of hospital. I'm, I'm okay, but I just had treatment, I'm a little bit woozy, a little bit weak on my feet. And I've dropped a box that I need to get to the vicar of the church. A wooden box. I put it on his doorstep, but I'm worried it's gonna rain. But around the back, there's a bit undercover, but it's up heaps of stairs and I said, I've just come out of hospital. I don't think I can do the stairs. I was like, oh, absolutely. Don't worry about it. I'm so sorry. Are you busy? And I was in golf gear, but I said, no, absolutely, of course I can help, you know, come up here, show me where the box is. Shows the box to us. She opens the box and is like, you know, can you take her on the side? Yep, absolutely. Come with me. Show me the stairs.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  And you trusted this woman?

• 17:21Speaker 04

  It's like something out of a British countryside movie. Like she's, she's dropping a box off at the vicar. This wasn't a drug deal I'd walked into. Heck of a drug deal of a lot.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Good way to do it though. Make it as innocent as possible.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  I mean, again, I believed her character of an older woman that had just come out of hospital. I mean, she was having trouble walking. If it was a bikie in prosthetics, well done, well done. But I believe who she was. She was doing some work for the church. So she grabs my arm and I'm like, you know, box goes to the vicar's door. Come back down and she's like, oh, thank you so much. Um, she's like, I'll let you go. I said, no, no, let me walk you back to the car. Cause you were a little bit unsteady and I think needed the arm. So as we're walking back to her car, she explains that she does work for the church. I said, that's lovely. And she said, I just was so worried that I couldn't get the box. It was gonna get rained on, the box would get ruined. It was some pamphlets or something.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  And she said, and I actually, I prayed, I prayed for help and then there you were.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  You were a miracle.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  No, Jack, I'm an angel. But I can, I can see the confusion. I can see the confusion.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Miracles a lot. Miracles a lot. But angel is about right.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Angel too much as well.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  No, it's not, Andy. Yeah, I've been thinking about this and here's how it works. I'm not religious. I'm not of a particular origin. I, I welcome and celebrate all faiths, but personally I'm not religious. I would say I've got a spiritual side to me, but I'm not religious. And that was the curious part. She was, this was a Catholic church. So she's obviously prayed to the Catholic God. And what fascinates me about what's clearly going on here is why would God use me? Why would that God use me, a non-religious person? What it probably means, and again, I'm brand new to this, so I'm gonna get something wrong, but what it probably means is I'm some kind of freelance angel. So depending on what faith you are, if you pray to God, if you, you know, whatever

• 19:24Speaker 04

  your belief system is, yeah, be you Muslim, be you Hindu, be you Jewish, you pray, and if I'm nearby and I'm the most available, he, God will activate me as a one-off, as a freelance vessel of his, you know.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  I think he's a servant.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  I think you have to do it.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  That is what an angel is made of, the divine servant, you idiot.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  You're not divine.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  And I'm also part-time.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Easily manipulated.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Part-time angel.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Because you don't have a faith.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Not saying full-time, not saying full-time, not saying I've got wings and a halo, not saying I can fly, I'm saying I'm a casual.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  No, I think you have to do at least two different religions before you can say you're a freelancer across all.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  Who knows, I might have actually done other things when I've done good deeds and it wasn't revealed to me that it was, I was activated through prayer. I've probably done other stuff and I didn't, I didn't know I was activated through prayer on the other times. Here's the way I look at it, you know, sometimes you see like delivery drivers who do work for Uber, but they also work for MenuLog and Deliveroo.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  Yes, just whichever God's calling.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Spiritually, that's what I am, just whichever God activates me, I will do, and you know, I don't know, again, I don't know the system of how.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Well, what did you say, to finish the conversation with it, because often when you, whenever you see movies or TV shows, the angel says something quite profound as they leave.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  Couldn't hear it over all the trumpets and me floating slowly off up to the sky.

• 20:57Speaker 04

  Ando, you recently came back from a very pleasant trip to China, where the entire country's efficiency and organisation deeply soothed your mind.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Oh, absolutely.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  And you thought, this is, this is the future, sign me up, because there's zero spillage and zero wastage. Not all of us can live that way. And still in life, there are many, many examples of things that do not adhere to the principles of order and efficiency you experienced in China, and that is why we do this.

• 21:32Speaker 04

  Cause that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't upset Andy?

• 21:39Speaker 03

  All right.

• 21:39Speaker 04

  They are, they never stop, Andy.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  The world, I mean, that's one of the laws, I think in science, one of the laws is the thing called law of entropy, which is chaos is expanding, the universe is not getting more ordered, it's getting more chaotic. So this segment will never stop. Bailey, Bailey joins us with a great upset Andy.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  You've proved, you've proved that living with him for 25 years or whatever has proved that there's new ways to be fast and loose.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  It does not quieten down. Bailey, ahoy to you.

• 22:09Speaker 06

  Ahoy, boys. Gusto to you.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  And gusto to you, Bailey.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  So, um, what have you got to upset Andy?

• 22:15Speaker 06

  Uh, well, recently I had a globe go out in our bathroom. And so the next day I did the responsible thing and went to Bunnings to get a new one.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  Oh, you didn't go to your globe box within the cupboard?

• 22:27Speaker 06

  No.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  Not, not everyone's fully prepared for a disaster.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Must be very nice to have so many globes on tap.

• 22:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, anyway, when I was there, I didn't really think too much about colors and styles or anything. I just grabbed one that sort of looked like it would be what the globe I need. And when I installed it at home, I realized I've put in a cool white globe when the existing light is warm light. So now I've got one warm light globe and one cool light.

• 22:55Speaker 04

  Giving you a slightly warm. You can mix temperatures.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  No, that gives, that actually makes me shudder.

• 23:02Speaker 04

  Does it really?

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I really, I mean, the cool light I don't like at all. Um, yes, Charlie outside's giving me a big, big shake of the head as well. Now Beck would immediately have me change that, but I'd be changing myself. Uh, I wouldn't have made the mistake in the first place, but if the company had accidentally put the wrong one in the box or something.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  You'd send it back. The, the globe dial at Bunnings just gives me just wonderful memories. Anytime I'm in there and I've been sent by Zoe, it will be me going, ah, God, was it the screw or was it the push? And then I'll go, I don't feel like I've got any screws in the house. I think they're all pushed these days, aren't they? I think, I think we're phasing out the screw globe and then I'll buy them. It's always the wrong one when I take it on.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  Thanks, Bailey.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  Dean. Dean, ahoy to you, Dean. Ahoy, fellas and the wittle.

• 23:53Speaker 07

  Little boy, happy birthday, Ando and commiserations on the IP, mate.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  He'll bounce back. Well, you can't bounce back.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  No, I have. She'd see it.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  You don't want to be embarrassed the third time. Dean, take us through what you've got to upset Andy.

• 24:09Speaker 07

  Yeah, so my mum wanted to put a carpet runner down the hallway. And instead of going out to buy a proper one, must be nice, she used a rug that she already had that was nearly half a metre wider than the hallway.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  Than the hall. Okay.

• 24:24Speaker 07

  So for nearly six months, we just had it rolled up. So just rolled the edge of it up and it'd be underneath the rug.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Some, oh absolutely, sometimes.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  Luxurious to have such a, yeah, such a surplus of rug. Isn't that a nice feeling?

• 24:36Speaker 07

  It was fantastic.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  We're over rugged in the hallway. It's just nicer to live it up. Yeah, great. How long?

• 24:43Speaker 07

  Six months it was there for. Sometimes, to make it better, it'd sometimes even go in front of a doorway that entered into the hall. And we just, as we walked through, we just shifted. If it had to be shifted, it wasn't. Yeah, whatever.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  Thanks very much, mate. Hey, Chloe, ahoy to you.

• 25:00Speaker 07

  Ahoy, gentlemen.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Chloe, try and upset me.

• 25:03Speaker 07

  So when I do my dishes, I rinse my dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.

• 25:07Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 25:08Speaker 07

  And I always have the strainer there to catch the food debris.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Like in the plug, in the sinkhole, the plug strainer?

• 25:14Speaker 07

  In the plug hole, yes.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 07

  And then instead of turning forty five degrees and tapping the strainer in the bin, I basically just tap it straight down the plug hole.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  And then just push, push it, swoosh it through.

• 25:25Speaker 07

  Wash it down with water and I just put everything down that I captured.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I've been, look, I am a take the plug out and give it a little tap, but if it, if there's, you know, bits that aren't going down, I have done what you've done, Chloe.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  I'm very good. I'm very good at squashing food through with my fingers. I am, that's one of my skills because, and it annoys me every day. This upsets Hain. This is one of the few things that upsets Hain. I do take the strainer out and tap it in the sink. And if my wife is ever around, I always make an habit of turning to and going, gee, it would have been great to have the sinkerator.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  Because this is the one thing I tried to get included in our house's renovation. I was overruled for some reason to do with shelving or drawer space.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  And hence I've put two in my house.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  Which would only cover 10% of the things from what I've seen from the floor pan.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  Thank you Chloe. Hayley, ahoy to you.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  Ahoy, Ando.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  What have you got for upset me?

• 26:27Speaker 04

  Well, so a while ago, I had to print an iron-on t-shirt transfer on my printer and spent ages trying to set the printer up to print on the transfer paper because you've got to print it with the special settings so that it comes out really slowly and it doesn't smudge. And that it comes out like mirror image.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Yes, of course.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  It's been, I reckon about a year and a half and I simply do not have time to figure out how to change it back because there's like the settings in the Apple menu, then there's like in the Canon software or the program I was using or the printer. So every time I print, I forget that that's what's happened. I wait ages, the print starts to come out, then I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. It's coming out backwards. So I just cancel the print. Then I go into my computer and I just print in mirror image because quick, quick, quick, yeah, quick maths, mirror image plus mirror image equals perfection. And so they just cancel each other out, perfect printing every time.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  I hate this so much.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  Perfect every time, Ando. No one, when you do a deep dive on settings, because you're usually like on chat GPT or something and it's like going now go into advanced, now go into presets, like you're never going back in there and undoing that.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  Well, no.

• 27:36Speaker 04

  Plus, if I ever have to print an iron-on transfer again, I'm saving myself time again. You are ready. You're ready to print t-shirts at the drop of that.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Easily the worst one we've had today for me. Uh, Ally, uh, ahoy to you.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Ahoy, boys. Ally, you're joining us from the UK, so just triple points already for upsetting Andy from a different hemisphere.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  That's how you, Ellie.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  I'm in Scotland. Oh, awesome.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Whereabouts in Scotland?

• 28:02Speaker 04

  Edinburgh.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Oh, not far, some great golf courses.

• 28:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, very nice golf courses. Well, no, no, let's steer the conversation away from things that, please, Andy, and take it to things that upset him. Ally, what have you got? So I used to know a guy who, when he'd make a cup of tea, you know, he'd take his tea bag out, put his milk and sugar in, and then rather than waste time getting a tea.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Spoon out, he just take his glasses off, use one arm of the glasses to give it a stir. And he just whack his glasses back on and he's good to go. Did he lick, did he lick the glass before putting the arm? Like the arm? Sometimes he'd just give it a shake and put them back on. Sometimes they just went straight back on.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  I suppose when you're, Jack's making a face and I think it's because you're thinking about behind someone's ears, aren't you, Jack? It's a sanitary place.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Sanitary and then, and then when he's putting them back on, he's making it worse back there. Whatever was already going on, he's only making it worse.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  A lactatey.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  To have milk scum behind your ears.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  But I do love the ingenuity of it all.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  You don't, yeah. Cause it's like, a lot of people think glasses are a one use tool. So to come up to go, hang on, no, no, I'm walking around all day with two spoons on my head.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  You just failed to see it.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  You've all got it wrong.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  You've all got it wrong. You're just, what do you use glasses for? Just for the lookings?

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Ali, weirdly, I don't hate it. And that's, that's the strange thing about upset Andy is someone's found an efficiency.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  Ali, thank you for getting up and sharing though. No worries. Enjoy the cold government mandated break over there.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Hi, at the start of the show, we often hear from listeners telling us what they've been up to. They upload their audio at homishiney.com.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  Especially hard because of the rigmarole involved in getting that audio onto that website. Considering the prevalence of easier technology. So we really do appreciate it.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  It's very easy. And Nick sent in last week, his message about his friend Matt, who plays frisbee golf or disc golf, as they call it overseas. And was asking whether we could refer to our golf, we play as ball golf. So it's really clear kind of how they went with ice hockey and field hockey. I immediately told a story about golf and forgot to reference it as ball golf. And I need to apologize for that because we did.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  Slipped down my mind quickly.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  We put a flag in the sand and said, we'll be behind this cause.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  I think because I was so fascinated by the story you were telling, which was Hogs, um, you know, not taking any underpans on the golf trip, ball golf trip.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Ball golf trip.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  And, you know, we just got lost in Hogs as well. That it just shows how powerful the marketing of ball golf has been since its invention in Scotland. How many hundreds of years ago was it, Andy? I don't know, you probably know, 200 years ago, whatever it was.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  I think so, about that.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  They have brainwashed us into calling ball golf just golf. And we, you know, we took it on the chin, we're like, yeah, that's right. We actually made a pledge and we went back to just calling it golf, which is insensitive to all the varieties of golf that are out there.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  And then we jump on Google and then there's every golf course in Australia.

• 31:06Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Just says, you know, something public golf course. It might be the Waterford Valley Public Golf Course. And we're like, well, what type of golf?

• 31:14Speaker 04

  You mean ball golf. I bet you mean ball golf.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  It's really.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  But you are arrogantly assumed the world marches to the beat of that drum. And again, it's a, it's, it's comes from the top. It comes from the big ball golf, you know.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Industrial complex.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  And so we thought it's incumbent on us to fly this flag for those that want to distinguish frisbee golf from ball golf.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  And how do you make change, Andy? How do you make change? You make it at a big top level?

• 31:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  You make it at a grassroots level.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  And you make it by calling the nest, the hive of ball golf, which is ball golf courses. Specifically their pro shop who handle all the bookings. We thought today, do we just randomly select a couple of ball golf courses? And.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  Each call one.

• 32:00Speaker 04

  Call one and we, you know, have to start now from the standpoint that there are two golfs.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  It's very confusing that they're not putting it in the name of their company and their golf course.

• 32:10Speaker 04

  And they're going to get a lot more calls like this. So we're really just warming up the frontline.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  We'll start with Yarra Bend Public Golf Course. Don't know which, whether it's ball golf or frisbee golf. It doesn't say here.

• 32:19Speaker 04

  You assume, looking at the website, that there are some giveaways that it's ball golf. That is, that's, that's only because we know the sport of ball golf so well that we were able to make that. If you're a beginner, you wouldn't know that. You know what kind of golf they play.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Jack, I popped the number in.

• 32:34Speaker 04

  Here we go.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, we'll see if we can write this wrong.

• 32:39Speaker 07

  Arabin Golf, Tom speaking.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  Hi Tom, it's Devon here mate, how are you?

• 32:42Speaker 07

  I'm good, how are you?

• 32:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, good. Is that the Arabin Public Golf Course?

• 32:46Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, what kind of golf?

• 32:50Speaker 07

  Sorry?

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Just wondering what type of golf that you offer there? Doesn't say in the name of your, it just says Public Golf Course, so just what type of golf?

• 33:00Speaker 07

  We have an 18-hole golf course.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but what?

• 33:04Speaker 07

  A driving range mini golf. What do you mean what type?

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Well, is it ball golf or is it frisbee golf?

• 33:12Speaker 07

  It's normal golf with clubs, no frisbee golf here.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Alright, so again, I don't think you can distinguish it as in normal golf, there's obviously ball golf and then there's...

• 33:22Speaker 07

  The regu-, I mean, the, a very old golf with clubs and small balls with timples on it.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  So ball golf?

• 33:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, I mean, well then the soccer, the soccer golf is also a ball golf, I suppose, if you're...

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Big ball golf.

• 33:38Speaker 07

  But, yeah, yeah, we're, we're just a normal, old school, normal golf course, no frisbees involved.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Right, I just don't think you can call it normal because there's obviously lots of different golfs now.

• 33:50Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  So, you're small ball golf?

• 33:54Speaker 07

  Yep, little white ball golf.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Thank you, that's great. Um, yeah, my partner's never game, I'll, I'll ring you back.

• 34:00Speaker 07

  Okay, no worries.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 34:02Speaker 07

  Bye.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  Little white ball golf is being more descriptive. He does, he's got a good point with soccer golf. I love that that's, trying to pretend that that's why he's, that's why he's not calling it ball golf.

• 34:18Speaker 04

  Out of respect to soccer golf.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Okay, well at least they are understanding it.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's keep going.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Okay, next one is Brighton Public Golf Course, here we go, in your hands, this one here.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Good afternoon, Brian, golf course. This is Stephen speaking.

• 34:36Speaker 04

  Good afternoon, Stephen. This is Marshall. How are you?

• 34:38Speaker 03

  I'm good. How are you?

• 34:39Speaker 04

  Very good. Um, I wonder if you can help me. I am getting into the game, but uh, brand, brand new to the game in fact, but I, I understand it's quite common knowledge that there's two types of golf. What kind of golf course are you?

• 34:56Speaker 03

  So we are a public golf course.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Allow bookings for everyone from.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  But, but bookings for, for what? For which game?

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Oh, for golf. We, we offer eighteen hole course.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  No, but we, but what kind of golf?

• 35:14Speaker 03

  Like eighteen hole golf, yes.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm, maybe I'm not making myself clear. What word comes before the golf you play?

• 35:24Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand what you're trying to.

• 35:27Speaker 04

  No, because there's two kinds of golf, as I understand it. There's the, you throw the discs around, sometimes called frisbee golf or golf, and then there's ball golf.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, okay, yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  Do you, is, are you a frisbee golf course?

• 35:40Speaker 03

  We're not a frisbee golf course.

• 35:42Speaker 04

  Are you a ball golf course?

• 35:44Speaker 03

  We're ball golf course, yes. Like, we play with ball and clubs.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  Yes. Oh, no. Well, that's the thing. I've get, I'm interested in getting some ball golf clubs. Because I have a friend that plays ball golf, and I thought we could play ball golf together at your course. So you do cater for ball golf fans?

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, ball golf as in like, use like the actual clubs and hit the tiny ball, correct? Yeah, yeah, that's, that's the golf we do here.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  That's wonderful. Oh, that's great news. Well, I'm going to tell my friend, his name's Mark, and he plays ball golf. And we're going to come and play some ball golf with you.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Ah, it's great to hear. We look forward to welcoming you.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  Thank you. Likewise. Bye bye.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  Ah, thank you, Marshall. Bye bye.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  I really just wanted him to say we play ball golf.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  He did.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  He did.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  We're doing our part. It's now slowly gonna get into vernacular.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  Getting in, getting into, you gotta be more specific.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  Got power move by Beck, guys. Well done Beck. And it's psychologically pinned me down so hard that it's still bubbling away. And I need to chat you guys about it. Do you want the sound effect?

• 37:07Speaker 03

  No, I don't, I don't. It's not, it's not gaslighting, but it's, we're getting, we're getting close. But I know that's what power moves are a bit. You know, Ham and Jack, you know me, I never ran out of battery on my phone.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  You don't, you don't. For me, it's, there are some days where it's just a give, like I'll wake up and go, oh, okay. I haven't charged my phone for two days. We're going to play single digits today. Cause the, the charger in my car, the cable in my car adds about 1% every 10 minutes.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  There's some bad charging.

• 37:41Speaker 04

  But my car charger will hold the line, but certainly really make no inroads into the battery.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  I treat power supply at the utmost importance.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  I've got, I've got, you know, if I was on Apollo 13, Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, whoever the other guy was, they would have just come back fine and not, not, not worried.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Houston, there's no problem.

• 38:01Speaker 04

  That wasn't because someone was being selfish with the charger.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  They just had a bad power supply issue.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  That's my reference. I don't actually know what it's about.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  Something a bit, bit broke off during the launch and like broke damage the outside of the shell. It's not like.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  It's not like mission control went, wait, wait a second. Have you guys been playing PlayStation? Yes. Ooh, well, you know, you've only got a certain amount of power. Nah, well, sorry, it's days until we get to the moon.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Is that music playing in the background?

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Is someone making a smoothie? We thought we were allowed to just free time until we got to the moon.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  We got the kettle on. Can someone plug the shuttle?

• 38:40Speaker 04

  Is that a heated blanket? It's freezing in here. Did you guys bring heated blankets?

• 38:47Speaker 04

  But I understand what you're saying. You would have certainly, had it been a charging issue, it wouldn't have happened on your watch.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  I have charging points around the house. So whenever I'm doing anything, I know I'm getting souped up to the point where I

• 39:00Speaker 04

  Like a rock, like a rock climber clipping into different relay points, always holding on to a bale of coal.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  And to the point where I wanted to label them because they do go missing, but I knew that's one level of psycho that Beck will like, you know, you've got to

• 39:16Speaker 04

  So you're saying you feel like you've bought a lot of chargers for the relationship and

• 39:21Speaker 03

  I don't think she's bought a single one.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  More go walk about.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's more about the location. I know that where you're like, that's where I keep my charger and then I go to plug it in and it's disappeared.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, you know, and it's, and it's one of the good ones. Like that's the fast charger. I, I count on that.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  So you can imagine my frustration when Beck and I are overseas. I'm about to head to China to catch up with the guys. So we're splitting ways and I see that she's charging her computer with my charger, which is fine. It doesn't sound fun. I go to wrap it up because it was where my computer was. She, she's obviously unplugged that while I was out, come back, plugged her in. That's fine. I'm going to wrap that up.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  I'm going to start keeping a tally and Beck, if you're listening, you keep on to it. How many times does Annie say that's fine and me in the opposite?

• 40:10Speaker 03

  I, I grabbed the charger and say, hey, is this my charger? No, it's my charger.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 40:15Speaker 03

  And that's fine.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  She says, no, no, that's my charger, which is not, Jack.

• 40:24Speaker 04

  It's not. And that's fine.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  I was like, and I said, oh, right. Well, have you seen mine about? Cause I actually haven't seen yours on this trip.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  He goes, no, that's mine. Yeah. I'm not, I haven't seen yours. I'm like, mm. And then she goes, but take mine. I'm not as funny about these things as you are.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  She's giving you a that's fine. Take mine. That's fine.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  I, I mean, yes, I am funny about these things, but I can't, I'm like, well, no, if it's, if it's yours, let's find mine. No, take mine. I'm not weird about these things. You can.

• 41:02Speaker 04

  This is good. This is a masterclass.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Now he's regretting not labelling those charges.

• 41:07Speaker 04

  And she's only gonna live with you so long before she picks up some tactics.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  And so I'm wrapping it, wanting to go, great, outcome's great. I've got a charger. Like in my negotiation brain's going, great, negotiated outcome is what you wanted.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  The childish petty part of me that you can't listen to when you're in a marriage, but does still exist, would have, if you're in a hotel room, would have gone, right, quietly got like a hotel pen and drawn a little H on it. Oh, it is mine. Cause I have a little H on mine. Now that's a big gamble for me because I could easily have been using those. Cause then if she was like, well, I just found yours in your backpack.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  It doesn't have an H on it.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  So you must have put mine in your backpack. I would, that's what I'm saying. You shouldn't act on those impulses, but immediately the dodgy part of my brain goes, let's do that.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  I wish I consulted you because I a hundred percent would have done that. But instead I packed my charger and thanked her for borrowing hers.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  Well done.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  As I went off and embarked a bar own trip. Still bubbling, obviously. This has been very helpful to get it off my chest.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  So there was no investigation when you got home to go find the other charger and prove that it was.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  Well, Beck has not asked for her charger back since we've been back for some weeks. So I don't wanna circle back and go, hmm.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  And you're, you know, you're getting married, we'd have, would say odds are next year sometime. And, you know, Jack and I are a little bit down the road. Far be it from us to marriage counsel you.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, please do that.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  But there is, I think one of the hardest things in a relationship is to go, I know I'm right. And I have proof. A key, a key one would be when you have the screenshot of something, you know, like, well, I told you, I told you to get potatoes and you know, you have a screenshot of the shopping list. There's no potatoes. Resisting the urge to go, hmm, that's weird.

• 43:11Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna be able to do it.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  You must.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  You must.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  It's lose, lose, it's lose.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  You must, you must, you must go. You might, yeah, well, sorry, you know, I get at the supermarket, 80% is pretty good for me. You must.