2025 Ep 315 - Bonjour, You Copied Us!

Segment Sleuth puts a French podcast under the microscope after it went viral internationally for outright copying one of our segments! After being blown away by China’s next-level efficiency on his annual golf trip, Andy grills their fast-and-loose mate Horgs about the dumb stuff he got up to on the trip. Hamish needs you to know that he's STILL playing the parking game, and the boys’ favourite human actor Jeremy Irvine leaves the show a shocking voicemail. Meanwhile, Hamish gets us thinking about who we’d consider a truly beloved celebrity. 1. Super Cool Podcast 2. Horgs in China 3. The parking game 4. Beloved celebrities 5. Jeremy Irvine voice memo

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet, because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three... two...

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me Zoe, Hamish. I hope we're girlfriends or wives of Hamish, but if I can throw out an early guess, are we members of the band Huntrix from K-pop Demon Hunters? He's got a what? There's a Zoe in that, yes. Thought you might be going contemporary. There isn't Zoe in that.

• 0:44Speaker 03

  Well done. Ahoy to me Mira, Jack. And what would that make me, Ham?

• 0:49Speaker 02

  Can't remember the other one.

• 0:50Speaker 03

  Rumi, the lead singer.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  That's it, yes. Gotta be good to be golden. I luckily have researched that film 200 times to know.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  That was a great... That's why I went with Zoe first, rather than Rumi or Mira, because I thought maybe Ham might get thrown. We're doing the current partners of the Hamish and Andy team.

• 1:12Speaker 03

  Probably shouldn't say current.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Current is subjective. Can say current, but it will never change. Never change. Never. For fast forward to episode 10,000, still doing current partners, same names.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  Oh, I also...

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Obviously does present one tiny loophole. Should we wish to keep... Should we wish to date another Beck?

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Or Jack find another Bianca?

• 1:33Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  I just, you know, I do think in loopholes, but I'm not planning that. I'm planning to stay with this exact Zoe.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Rebecca Gibney, I suppose. I've got that option.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  Doesn't have to be famous. Yep, there's lots of Becks out there.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  There's lots of Becks out there, but they're the ones that come to mind. I'm not gonna go...

• 1:50Speaker 02

  You're not checkmated into Rebecca Gibney, nor am I checkmated into the animated K-pop demon huntress.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  Of Zoe.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  For you to date her, but in the future.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  Maybe that is a viable option if you're talking about this happening in several hundred years.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're right. You're right. There'll be people that date animes, for sure.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Ahoy also to Nick, who used the very easy to use system at hamishandandy.com to tell us what he's been up to in the US.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Hi guys, Nick here, Canadian living in the US. Thought I'd send you this message as a tribute to my friend Matt, who introduced me to your pod.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  And your Matt?

• 2:20Speaker 04

  Matt's big into disc golf. He's leading the charge to rename what is normally called golf into ball golf, to put it on an even playing field with disc golf. That said, he doesn't have a huge following, so I thought you might be better positioned to change the language. You'll be the modern Shakespeare's, if you will. Also, Australia already took hockey and made it ice hockey to make room for field hockey, so I think there's precedent. So shout out to my friend Matt, please consider ball golf going forward. Thanks.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Disc golf, also known as frisbee golf down here. He's a push-

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Popular variant of ball golf.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Where instead of using the sticks that are so known and loved in ball golf.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  You use your skin sticks, your arms, to fling the disc.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Which is like an airborne version of the ball from ball golf.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Lovely. Look, we love all listeners. Reach out to us for anything.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  I'm happy to instigate and initiate calling golf ball golf.

• 3:20Speaker 05

  Me too. It's one of those things that I reckon you can't fight it. And now that it feels a bit silly, I think we'll start doing it ironically and then it'll become ball golf to all of us.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Again, it does help when I'm out there going, I had played golf on the weekend. It saves us one line of conversation, which was, which one, frisbee or ball golf?

• 3:40Speaker 02

  Ball golf.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  Oh, ball golf, sorry.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  We're always asking.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Asking, so yeah, 100% endorsed is what we wanted to say.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  And it makes TaylorMade our preferred ball golf brand.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Brand, but it leaves us wide open to another-

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Completely unaligned for other versions of golf.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  So a huge opening there, should companies wish to reach out.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Um, guys, speak. Love it. It was just like, yes, John here from TaylorMade Ball Golf. We've had some confusion in the past.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Tiger Woods, he's been playing ball golf for some time.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  He's our ball golf representative. We don't have a disc golf representative. Speaking of crazy coincidences, here's another crazy coincidence, Andy. On this show, you sometimes do song sleuth.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Where you'll examine a popular song and, you know, that might have links to previous songs.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Even a bit rarer, you'll do segment sleuth.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Where we get alerted often by our international listeners, hey, are you aware that there's a, you know, maybe a little bit of a crossover with other podcasts or radio shows from around the world? Can I borrow the segment sleuth opener today? Cause I've got a segment sleuth.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Really? Someone's stolen one of our.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Let's not say it yet, but there are similarities. Let's have a look.

• 5:02Speaker 03

  This sounds like this, sounds like this, sounds like this. If this sounds like that, I'm your man. Andy Lee, segment sleuth.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  What, what? As presented by Hamish White.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Yes, what country?

• 5:15Speaker 02

  France.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  France.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  My France, eh? Um, I, well, I'm going to play the, a little bit from our show. From earlier in the year, people may recognize this. We sometimes get requests, hey, what's happening with this? Um, but if you didn't, if you don't remember, we had an idea earlier in the year to mimic the, um, the famous movie, which I think was from the nineties, Sneakers, starring Robert Redford.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Berg Boys.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Talking about Berg Boys. Here's what we talked about earlier in the year. Gentlemen, I have an idea for us, inspired by a film. And I mean, so heavily inspired by a film, you might almost say it, it almost is the film. The movie Sneakers came on. Robert Redford runs a gang of kind of like hackers who companies hire, like a bank would go to them and go, try and break into our bank.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  What a great job. What I would like to propose is if you run a small business.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  We will break in.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Us three, we will rob you.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Hmm, yeah. And people might think that that's petered out, but.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  You never know.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  We said, we're not going to talk about it until we do it.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. We actually even had an, we, we, we made an opener for the Berg Boys when we were talking about Berg Boys. Let me just play our opener first.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  So a lot of people, a lot of European podcasters said, hey, there's a French podcast that's doing something similar. Have a listen. This is their opener. Let me play their opener first and then I want to play some of their audio. Oh, that's very similar. It just sounds like they've done the same thing in French.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Have a listen. This is from the Henriques et André show, I believe it is. Have a listen to them talking about a very similar idea to our Burg Boys on their podcast.

• 7:32Speaker 06

  Bonjour, it is a Henriques et André super cool podcast with Jacks.

• 7:38Speaker 07

  Boys, I have a crazy idea. You know the movie Sneakers with Robert Redford?

• 7:43Speaker 06

  Oh, oui.

• 7:44Speaker 07

  Was they tested business security by stealing things from the business?

• 7:48Speaker 06

  It is a super cool movie.

• 7:50Speaker 08

  Super cool, man. Super cool.

• 7:52Speaker 07

  Yeah, super cool. Well, you know what would be really super cool? We should do this. We should be burglary boys.

• 8:00Speaker 08

  Oh, oui, oui. Super cool, man. That's super cool. They steal something from a business.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Right. So on the Super Cool Podcast, they're talking about being burglary boys. And they're all French, are they? They're all French, all born in different parts of France and they have travelled around a little bit. A bit of time in Jamaica. And I think one had a tongue transplant. So he finds it hard to make some of the French battles. However, that's their quite a famous podcast in France, the Super Cool Podcast. So have a listen to again, then there are definite similarities there.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Well, that was absolutely similar to ours.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Listen to again what we were talking about earlier in the year.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Tell us your business.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Tell us your business, you can't tell the staff and then we get the fun of seeing how well we could pull off the heist.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Love it. Just hit us up, hamegionny.com.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  We'll pick one and then this will probably go quiet for a bit because we can't give updates because you don't want, staff members could listen and we don't want to, you know, that will compromise the mission.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Now, listen to the gentleman from the Super Cool Podcast talking about it.

• 9:06Speaker 06

  Now, we wouldn't say which business until after it's done, right?

• 9:12Speaker 07

  Correct. From now, we zip the mouth.

• 9:14Speaker 08

  Oh, we will be such sneaky boys. You will never hear us talk about this again.

• 9:19Speaker 07

  So if you are the boss of a business and you would like to have us steal from you, email us.

• 9:25Speaker 08

  We, we, we are going to be the burglary boys. This is super cool crazy.

• 9:30Speaker 06

  Super cool.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  They get their branding, they get their branding a lot, the Super Cool Podcast.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  Super Cool Boys, yeah, it's their catchphrase. They love saying it. Right, so that was their thing. That was them, admittedly, this was them a couple of weeks ago. Then people are sending us audio from this week's episode of this French podcast after they had pulled up, like, we haven't done our burg boys yet. Who knows when it might happen? They did theirs. So credit to them. They followed through a little bit quicker than us, but they did their burg boys. This is them post, post the job.

• 10:07Speaker 06

  Now, we have some crazy news for today's show. Remember when we were talking about stealing something from a business? We did it.

• 10:17Speaker 08

  We were the burglary boys.

• 10:19Speaker 07

  We did it. It is a crazy story for sure, but the boss of this business, which is actually a museum called De Louve, he emailed us and said, man, I love the show, boys. Do you think you could steal something from our business? Like $100 million worth of jewels?

• 10:35Speaker 06

  We thought this is so crazy, but okay, what a super cool idea.

• 10:42Speaker 07

  So we did some research and we found out that the Louve is in Paris.

• 10:47Speaker 08

  We, we, I had this idea to get a cherry picker and use power tools to get us into the first floor window.

• 10:53Speaker 06

  Man, that is such a super cool idea.

• 10:58Speaker 08

  Crazy segment, guys. Super fun.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  They were the guys that.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  That I can't believe.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  They're a luv robbery. So that was their segment.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  That was a podcast.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  Podcast segment. So on one hand, I'm like, you absolute mongrels. You didn't just steal a segment, you know, you've stolen some jewels. But on this, but by the same time, it's like, well, we respect, we deeply respect.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  The fact that they followed through. And if anything, I say, maybe they've inspired us to.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Got rekeyed.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Rethink or just put, put a flame under it and see if, you know, who knows, it might happen sooner rather than later. Now that, I guess, we've seen it can work as a segment, like that was, no, that got a lot of international attention and.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  That went viral for them.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  But it went viral and that is just great publicity for a podcast. It's really hard to cut through the noise. So good on them. Good on them. Nothing, no charges laid because good on them for swinging big.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Fellas, I've just returned from a golf trip, my yearly golf trip with my mates. This time we went to China, which was, which was good fun.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Oh, it was. And you have come back as, you have come back as a deep fan of Chinese efficiency. Which we should have seen coming, but just to bring listeners in, um, you know, every year you might be in a golf trip in a different place. I think you guys have done, you've done New Zealand and Singapore and, you know. And I was like, oh, China, of course, you know, it's huge. There's a lot of stuff in China. And then Andy came back going, God, they've really got it sorted out over there. Really got it sorted out. Every, I've had three or four separate occasions where Andy has just been, short of handing me, um, I guess, like citizenship papers and going, you know, really encourage you to think about moving to China for the efficiency. You just love the way it's.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  They've, they've done well.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Well, what do they do? What's one thing they're doing that we're not doing here?

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Oh, look, everything's very efficient, chat. It's very respectful.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  It's, it's one billion people marching to the, the beat of like the pleasure Andy from, like nothing, there'll be no upset Andys in the whole of China.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Yep. They just had their systems. You should have seen the way they transported the clubs around. They knew they had, they put these little cards on your clubs that was scanned and then they knew which course you're going to next. You rock up there, there. It was just, they had a few systems in place that I was, that impressed me, right?

• 13:21Speaker 02

  So it's not like in Australia where most, you know, if you go to a public club, it's just a bloke going, yeah, mate, you just go off now if you want.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Nothing, no.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Not that.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  A very different ship, but people may have heard me talk about.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  So a very different what?

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Very different ship.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Okay, sorry.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  What do you think I said?

• 13:39Speaker 02

  You're like, it's different shit than that now. Andy's come back from China, a fan of efficiency and with a bit of an attitude.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  You would have heard me talk about these golf trips before.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Particularly my mate Hogs, he's been on the show as well. He's lack of preparation at times. At one time he rocked up to the, um, the airport with all these clubs in a box because he had forgotten to buy a bag. One time you might remember me talking about how he called his wife and said, you've got to follow me to the airport. I took this route because I left the boot open and my golf shoes have fallen out of the car. Find them at some point along the way.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Didn't I forgot about that one.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  He's left, you know, wallets and planes, passports. It's, it's just generally.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  All's is fast and loose. He's like me.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  I'm interested to see how a fast and loose man went. Did, did the efficiency of the Chinese system help bring his fast and loose? Did it protect a fast and loose person or did they not mess?

• 14:36Speaker 03

  We can ask the man himself. He joins us right now. Hogs, hello to you.

• 14:40Speaker 09

  Hello, boys.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Hogs, how are you, mate?

• 14:42Speaker 03

  Did you find it fast and efficient, Hogs?

• 14:45Speaker 09

  Uh, yes, it was, uh, they were efficient. They were great. Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  Did you walk around? Cause I would have, I'm a bit like you, Hogs, you know, we're fast and loose guys. Were you going, gee, I could not, this isn't the way I run things? Or did you enjoy having the efficiency? Yeah, like streamlining your chaos.

• 15:03Speaker 09

  Well, I can't, I have, I've got Andy, really.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  So do I. So do I. We're the same. It's exactly why we've been attracted to Andy and he's been attracted to us. Like when you're around Andy, you just, yeah.

• 15:14Speaker 09

  Yeah, it's basically like being in China.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  He doesn't just have the surname, he lives the Chinese lifestyle.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Well, one other thing we've found out, Jacko, is they don't say, they don't yell four if you have a air shot.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  What do they yell?

• 15:30Speaker 03

  They yell, "Kung chow!" And so.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  It's so much more exciting.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's more exciting. And there's four caddies, one each. So, and they all yell it in unison. So if Hogs and I were in different groups on the day, because you're playing groups of four and there was eight of us, you'd, you know, I might hear Hogs tee off and you hear the whack of the ball. And then when you heard four people go, "Kung chow!", you're like, oh, he hasn't hit that very well. Unfortunately for me, Hogs did play very well and probably heard more "Kung chows" coming from my tee box more than his. But Hogs, just wanted to put some few things to you. I think I've done this in the past to you. All you have to do to say is guilty or not guilty with regards to.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Post-Boys Trip Performance Review?

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Again, a very efficient thing to do. Andy, as the team's manager, is just sitting there with everyone.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  If you don't review everyone's work, how will they get better?

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. How can they improve their performance on future trips?

• 16:26Speaker 09

  I'm really worried that one thing's going to come up here.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 16:30Speaker 09

  Anyway.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Do you want to self-declare now for half the punishment?

• 16:35Speaker 03

  It doesn't work that way.

• 16:36Speaker 09

  You might have to cut it out.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  Okay, mate. I do want you to self-declare. Okay, first one. Did you wear the same golf shirt four rounds in a row?

• 16:47Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  There's nothing, there's not too much wrong with that. I mean, I assume.

• 16:51Speaker 09

  In China, it may be in Tasmania, you'd be okay, but China's not it.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  It's humid. Oh, yeah. Did you only bring one golf shirt, knowing we were going on a golf trip?

• 17:01Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Why, why Hogs?

• 17:04Speaker 09

  Well, normally Andy gets them, provides them. And there was, there was feedback going around. Apparently Andy said on the WhatsApp that, "Hey, guys, we haven't got any shirts this year." And I didn't read that one.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Mate, God, shades of caravan of courage back in the day where I, I just turned up. Well, this is our first caravan trip we did in radio days across Australia. And I got tons of crap poured on me because.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  You didn't bring a sleeping bag or a pillow. You just kept saying, "I thought they'd be provided." That's what you kept saying. I was like, "Bye."

• 17:37Speaker 02

  It's like a hotel. Well, I mean, we didn't, you know, someone else recognized the caravan instead of Andy. It's like, "What are you going to sleep in?" It was like.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Surely there's bedding in the caravan. He's like, no, no, it's sleeping bag and a pillow. So yeah, I slept in a gorilla suit.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  Find a blanket. The wall. Um, there were a lot of pro shops there. Um, but Hogs couldn't find a shirt big enough. That is one problem that we had is that, uh, Hogs being six foot five. They just couldn't cater for the bigger man in that country.

• 18:12Speaker 09

  I tried on a triple XL, wasn't big enough. Couldn't believe it.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Back to a yes, no Hogs.

• 18:20Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Did you wear the same undies four days in a row?

• 18:24Speaker 09

  Oh gosh. Yeah. Well, yes.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  So you'd bring. You can't have thought that the undies were going to be provided.

• 18:34Speaker 09

  No, I did. I did pack them. It's just on night one when we were, cause we were staying in another hotel.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 18:41Speaker 09

  When I was doing the repacking, I didn't, I forgot to pack the undies.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  But why would you take all of them out? Yeah. Did you put them in a drawer?

• 18:50Speaker 09

  No, I didn't. I, I think they fell out when I was pulling my jeans out to go out.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  That makes.

• 18:56Speaker 09

  Then the undies came out and then they never went back in.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  Right. So they're still on a holiday.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  And you just then had to wear the same undies four days in a row. There were other options. Cannot be comfortable, Hogs. Surely, was there an undies shop there or same, same issue?

• 19:12Speaker 09

  Um, no, we finally, that was the last night.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, we went to the mall last night.

• 19:16Speaker 09

  So the plane, the plane on the way home was fine.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it would have been, God, humidity, walking, golf. That's a disaster scenario for chafing.

• 19:29Speaker 09

  It wasn't great.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:30Speaker 09

  But it's, yeah, I thought it'd be worse. Whatever you're imagining, divided by three.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  One, one third the crotch rot that I imagined. That's it, Hogs. Was there one thing that, that I was meant to declare that, that we're meant to cut it? Just say it, say it in a code that Andy would understand that we wouldn't, but it's still exciting for us to imagine.

• 19:54Speaker 09

  Oh, when, I was getting a bit nervous actually.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  No, is it, if it's the, if it's the joke you tried to play on the driver? Yeah, no, no, but don't talk about that one.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  So interesting. Oh, wow. That's the review I want to hear.

• 20:10Speaker 09

  See you, boys.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  I've got a bit of an update from the parking world. Oh. You know, as you know, Andy, I play the game. Yeah. I play the game. I don't pay for parking. Play it fiercely. And I've actually been getting a bit of a rep for myself. What do you mean? For playing the game. Two incidents have happened in the past week. One, I stopped for, stopped and gave a bout to a man in the street and he said, hey, my, just wanna let you know, we've started playing the game as well. Hmm. And I said, oh, that's good to hear. I said, do you mean the parking game? He goes, yep, of course. There is no other game. It's just known as the game. Yep. And he said, my son and I, you know, his son's young, I think was like eight or nine years old, listening to the pod,

• 20:55Speaker 02

  hearing us talk about the cost, risk, reward ratio of paying, never paying for parking, but risking a fine versus always paying for parking, but maybe never having been seen by an inspector and you've wasted all that money paying for parking. You and I have played the game for a long time and to the point where we had a little signal, do you remember that between the two of us? Oh, yeah, yeah. When I, I said, when you come back to your car and you've left it there for not only hours past the, the recommended length, but you never paid in the first place. It's the feeling of arrogance you must get if you can jump up and down on a tight rope on one foot.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  So, Ham and I, from the age of 19, would, we'd walk to our separate cars, maybe 80 metres away, and we'd both bounce on our. Jump up and down on one leg, which would be amazing if passersby went, oh, they must mean it's the kind of confidence you feel being able to have that level of balance above a death-defying drop. But that's the, that's how it felt to us at the time because back then, a parking fine was more than one week's salary. Yes. So you were risking, you were risking it all back then and it felt damn good. Same, just to pot the beer or something and we're like, okay. Yeah. It just felt damn good. How about, but one week's salary, come on, you didn't work in the 1920s or something. Even on a low pay. A hundred bucks, like. Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  A hundred bucks to, in one week's like spending money back when you were 19, like ones you took out expenses for the week. Yeah, but you said salary, like, I mean, it sounded like you worked all week for $90.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  I remember it well, Jack. When I was at university, I, parking fines were two sacks of flour and 30% of that year's harvest. And that was a lot. That was a lot for us as serfs and peons.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Well, it was a big dent. I'm just gonna say these days can absorb a little easier.

• 22:49Speaker 03

  Must be nice.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Well, that's okay. We'll get to your house in time.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  But here's the thing. So speaking to this guy, he's like, my son, his son did a spreadsheet. That was the most amazing part. This nine year old did a spreadsheet of like, how often would we have to park? And, you know, when does it start going in our favor?

• 23:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  And they'd come to the same conclusion. The son was like, Dad, let's play the game. I've done the numbers. I can't see it. I said, I said, it was like, he goes, we're only a week in. We haven't copped a fine. And I said, great. You gotta remember though, it's the long run. Like it is the long run. You can't let, don't get spooked too early. You and I, and he said, yeah, we heard about your two tickets in one day. And I said, yeah, that's a, that's a weird sub-pocket of the game because I do think I've parked, that's the parking near the physio. And I just think whoever runs that strip knows my car now.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 23:41Speaker 02

  And it's become a bit personal. So that would park that because I think that's a feud.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  Can I, can I say, say something for, for me with the game? I won't park like in a loading zone if it's for some, like if, if it's gonna be inconvenient.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  No, no, this is just flaunting.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  Pay, you just don't pay at the meter.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I just don't, I just don't want to confuse it with people that are just doing the arrogant parking across driveways and stuff. You're not breaking laws and you're, you're also not, I won't even bend rules like, um, oh, it's ride share cars.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  You, people do need those spots.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  So this is just flat out, one hour.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Pay at the meter.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Mine away, mine away.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  That's what you think.

• 24:23Speaker 05

  So neither of you would even be familiar with parking apps. You wouldn't have the parking apps on your phone.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Don't have the pay day app. I've seen, I've seen they use it, but I'm not interested. Here's the caveat though, I do have to, I do have to throw down. Cause the other day I was, I was driving on the street and I pulled in for a bit of street parking and I passed the ranger, I passed the parking guy on the street.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Oh, you can't play the game.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  And he was walking, uh, I've, oh, if he was walking the other way.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  Oh, I played again.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Against traffic, I'd play the game. I'd be like, all right, even better. He's done this side of the street.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I got confidence out of that.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  But he was walking in the direction that the cars were parked and I was parking up ahead of him. So I got in, I got out. I go to the meter, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna have to pop in like, you know, I have to pop in an hour here. And it was, it was in Bondi, so an hour was like thirteen dollars or something, it's wild. So I, I pay for it. As I'm at the computer, a guy comes up and goes, no, what are you doing?

• 25:22Speaker 02

  I go, I'm, I'm paying for parking, took me a second to realise, he goes, I thought you played the game. I said, no, I do play the game. I said, but look, the guy's down there. He goes, you gotta play the game, man. Hey, not in the face of certain death, like that's not the game. And he's like, oh, he was like, that's a bummer. I really thought, like, hey, I'm, just so you know, man, I am out there playing the game.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  But not the sheer madness of like, no one wins from me parking in front of the parking inspector and going, what are you gonna do about this? Uh, he will give me a ticket. That's, that is what he'll do about this. I think that's part of the game. Part of the, yeah. It was unsophisticated with the way. Yeah, he just thought the game was like a full protest. Yeah. Vote, like it was, I was like, no, no, the game is nuanced. The game is, we must win at all costs, we can get away with them. So I was just like, maybe I haven't made that clear. Maybe I was advertising myself as more of a renegade than I, than I am. Now it's worth clearing up. But a tactical deployment. That's a, that's a, that's a win because that was a definite ticket. What I should have done, now I'm just thinking in real time about it.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  He's gone to the guy, watch this, come with me, should have walked down and said to the ranger, hey mate, see that white car up there? I've paid for an hour parking, I normally never pay, but I saw you and you can't get me. I'm sure you should have done that.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Then the guy, then I would want his respect back.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Gentlemen, I, I have a question for you. No right or wrong answer, but I suppose this is a little bit of market research. With a, you know, respondent group of two.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Here's, here's my question. We all know there are famous people. We all know there are well-known people. We've done the test on the show before, Andy, about who you think you're cooler than. And that was an interesting, that was an interesting ranking system. There was a controversial one that you were, you did think you were cooler than.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  No, I think, I think I played it pretty straight.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  I think you were pretty straight.

• 27:37Speaker 05

  He was above Carl, he was below Nick Kyrgios.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, you went below Nick Kyrgios. I think you thought, I think you were like, you, you beat Robert Irwin. That was sort of like a line ball.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Still think, still think I do.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's okay. It's cool. No, cool, man. You're a cool dude.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. I'm not a cool dude, I'm always called Kyrgios.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  I think Conrad Sewell was the tough one.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  That was the tough one.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. Upon reflection, I'm cooler than Conrad Sewell.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  Andy's getting cooler by the, by the episode. Here's, here's a similar, in a similar vein.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  We understand famous and we understand, you know, notorious. But who is beloved?

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Oh, in Australia?

• 28:21Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I've got a few names here to try and get, because I actually think beloved is a really hard rank to attain.

• 28:29Speaker 05

  Great one.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Beloved, yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 05

  Everybody loves Pat Rafter.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  And I'd put, I'd put, put Mick Fanning in a similar vein. You have to, you have to have no chance of doing something, yeah, offensive. Cause like Russell Crowe.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Not beloved.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Not beloved.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  As soon as he threw that mobile phone.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  If, well, if, if, you know, if something happened and, you know, you, would you ever see him described as beloved Australian actor?

• 28:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Russell Crowe. What about?

• 28:56Speaker 03

  People would claim he's a New Zealander.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Here's, here's one that I think is hands down. I think it's easier if you're a character. So like Bluey, beloved.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  Beloved.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Oh, totally. So much easier if you're a character.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  I reckon it's hard as a sports person.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  It is pretty hard as a sports person.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  That's why Pat Rafter is, I think, risen. I mean, with, with someone like, I mean, I mentioned Hugh Jackman. If you play beloved characters, you can be a larrikan.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Yes. Well, going back to the cool list, Carl Stefanovic, is he beloved?

• 29:24Speaker 03

  No.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  It doesn't mean they're bad, these people, but.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  No, no, I think it's so hard to get beloved. Carrie Anne Kennelly.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  I think it's easier to become beloved as you get older.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  I love Carrie Anne, but she did find herself in some hot water with some of her takes.

• 29:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's why cartoon characters are easier because they're never gonna go, like Bluey's not getting into hot water.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  No. Homer Simpson.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  Not beloved.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Not beloved because he's too much of a jerk.

• 29:57Speaker 05

  Marge.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, which of the Simpsons characters would be beloved?

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Any of them, they've all got a slightly.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  All got some fallibility.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Doctor Hibbert? Nah, he makes some mistakes.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  He's so jovial, he's laughing all the time.

• 30:16Speaker 05

  Yeah. But now you're getting so niche anyway that you can't be beloved.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Steve Irwin was beloved.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  A hundred percent. I was almost, I was saving him for my, he, well, he cracked the code, I think. I reckon it's quite hard to be beloved under forty.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  And I reckon he was one of the rare, like, that is beloved under forty.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Like, that is a hard combo now because he can get old and blah, like Bill Murray is beloved. Like, like David Attenborough. Beloved. Beloved.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  But I think he got more beloved as he gets older and older and he's just like, well, I mean, you can't fault the guy.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  He's just the world's grandpa. We bloody love David Attenborough.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  Queen Elizabeth, was she beloved?

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 31:01Speaker 05

  Nah, no, it's not feeling right and not to be like anti monarchy, but it just doesn't feel right.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  I think it's tough for anyone with ultimate power to be beloved. I think, I think you can't have arrogance and be beloved.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  She wasn't arrogant.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  No, but I'm just saying there's a few things that knock you out. If you've like the highest, like a Bill Gates, like any of those high, like.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  If you saw, you know, beloved entrepreneur Elon Musk's heart, you'd go, I feel like someone from Elon's team wrote this.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  That's my point is I think anyone with that amount of power, you feel has stepped on a few heads on the way up.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to crack a few eggs to get up there.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  I think that's what happens, even with Lizzie, even though she was born into it, I still feel a bit of plums in your mouth, silver spoon in your mouth, which takes away from belovedness.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Here's the thing, anyone that has an opposing side, like there are people that are not monarchists.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  So it's like beloved, I suppose means universally loved, because she was loved by her fans.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  But not beloved, maybe ber, the ber is just the universal bit.

• 32:06Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Like there's no one that's against you.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  But like Pat Rafter would have had, I guess, people from other countries who didn't want to see him succeed on the tennis court.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, there'd be some Spaniards, some Davis Cup people that.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Really.

• 32:20Speaker 03

  When we say universally, it can't be the world around because people will not think Pat Rafter's beloved in other countries, mainly because they won't know him. But I think from our perspective.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yep. Taylor Swift.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  Just loved.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Loved.

• 32:34Speaker 05

  Loved.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Highly loved by some.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Probably dangerously highly loved by some, bit sycophantic, but there'll also be a really dislike Taylor.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, Andy Lee.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Beloved. Cool and beloved. Guys, hadn't talked to him for a while, but our favourite human actor in War Horse, Jeremy Irvine, of course, our favourite actor in that film is the horse.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  The horse.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Our favourite human actor.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  It's such a deep cut.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  People should know Jeremy Irvine, beloved actor.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Not beloved, but.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Loved actor.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  A loved actor.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Um, yes, was in the 2010, I'm gonna say, or 11 film, War Horse.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Was it?

• 33:29Speaker 03

  Which is about a horse that.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Think again, a horse in World War One that was, you know, courageous.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  We should watch it, guys. I think we've. I always assumed that you guys had seen it, how much you talk about it. Eleven films, two hours, twenty six minutes. I was reading, that's a lot of horse.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  Well, mate, we've, we've talked about it on the show more than two thousand twenty six minutes. Anyway, he is an actor that we saw in that trailer for that movie, Jeremy Irvine. He was also in Mamma Mia, I think, the musical movie. Anyway, yeah. Became a huge friend of the show when, back in radio days, we released Andy by Hamish, the fragrance.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  And he, I, he, we sent him, we were doing, can you waft it onto someone famous? So he can say that someone famous has used it. And I think he wafted it upwind of Meryl Streep.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then Brosnan, he wafted it on.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  He wafted it on.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  His brazen. I think he collected the whole cast of. Across the whole. Definitely the number one ambassador for Andy by Hamish.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  So absolutely became, you know, forever more a diamond level friend of the show for the Hamish Chaney podcast. We have not heard from Jeremy for a while.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  Had, just suddenly got a voice note WhatsApp to me.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  On the weekend.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  This must be an easy system.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Well, not really. We haven't heard from him in ten years.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Very good point, Jack.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  And, and he had a message, I think for, for me, but I think for us. And anyway, this is, this is our win.

• 34:59Speaker 00

  Hey bud, I hope you and Becca well. I was at the pub last night with a mate and we were talking about bathroom habits. And it was, it wasn't just an upset, Andy, actually. It was an upset, Jeremy. But he said, obviously when men wipe their bums, he said, basically, I used the postage stamp rule, which is when you look at the paper and there's anything smaller than something the size of a postage stamp, he considers that done. Oh, no. And then obviously, after I'd looked at him in shock for a while, he then goes, oh yeah, and if I know round two's coming, I don't really bother because basically you're just wiping the end of a crayon.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  So, uh, yeah, I thought, I don't know, thought, thought that might make the show.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  It has, it has, and it's made the show's jaws drop. What animal.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Even dogs have less than a postage stamp when they're finished and they don't have the opportunity to wipe due to lack of paper and thumbs, but they are able to pinch cleanly.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  Less than a postage stamp, mate, even on your first wipe, you're not getting more than a postage stamp. What disaster is going on back there?

• 36:18Speaker 03

  This is great because I was, I was interested in playing it. Obviously I played it to Beck and she was shocked. I'm like, okay, that's the reaction I expected from Beck. And then I was like, but maybe just because that's my habit, it doesn't mean it's everyone's habit, but seeing both of your jaws drop.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  You gotta have one clean sheet. Yeah, I actually, I, at least, Jack, at least. I go, I, I always remember, Andy, when we visited the troops in Afghanistan, like we flew over it with 2007, right? On the outside of a base, you always have to have a weapon with you at all times, but when you go in and out of the bases in Afghanistan, you have to show that your weapon is like ready to go, but not loaded. And you have to dry fire into a barrel of sand, right? Just to go, okay, we're not walking around with a loaded weapon on the base.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  So when they say dry fire, that is just?

• 37:05Speaker 02

  Click, click, click, click. Click, but just to show there's no bullet in it.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  In the chamber. That's my policy. Two, two blank clicks, two blank fires, like two clean, two clean pieces. And I believe we're not loaded. Like that is now a safe ask. We pack, I can take about your day.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm the same, mate. I'm like that guy when the nightclub's closed, going down and checking all stalls to make sure that we are completely empty.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, doors under crossed, checking it, check, check, you check twice.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  You check twice. And so, um, it is an upset.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  And what's the, what's the, if, what's the if round two's coming?

• 37:43Speaker 03

  I didn't.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  That doesn't make any sense to me at all.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  Round two, like he's gonna come back later or he's gonna wait there until he, he needs to poo again?

• 37:51Speaker 02

  First of all, sometimes you can be on the toilet and there's different, there's, you know, you might think there's gonna be another wave of contractions and you stay there, in which case you don't need to wipe in between that.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  No, no, there's no interval.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  That's like one minute later.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  If you are gonna pass, if you're gonna have a bowel movement again at some point in your life, which you will, and you're counting that as round two. That's all, there's always gonna be a round two. It's not sometimes.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  Even if you know you're gonna do it in the same day, that's not an excuse.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  That's not round two. There's no such thing as round two. There's this round and the next round.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  I'm glad we were all in agreeance on that. Because my biggest fear was playing that and seeing one of you not like, oh yeah, good. Yeah, that's what I do the same. That was.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  I, I, I think we have to say to Jeremy, you will always be the number one friend of this show. But your friends are not our friends. This is not, this is a one degree policy only. We can't be friends with that animal. He's out.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.