337 - Hame's Hives Instagram Custody Battle

Buzz is brewing with another Hame's Hives update as Hamish negotiates for custody of the Hame's Hives Instagram handle. Hamish declares himself a blue-ribbon husband and explains why, leading the boys to brag about their own husband credentials. Plus, Extreme Empaths, and Darcy is under the microscope once again! 1. Hive-Off 2. Extreme Empaths 3. Blue Ribbon Husbands 4. Darcy Under the Microscope

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet, because the Hay Mission Andy Podcast starts in three, two...

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to me Norman Osborne.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Oh wow. Um, I bet you were, first thing that came to mind was like different names for tie knots or something. Because there's the Windsor, the double Windsor, maybe the Norman Osborne is like more of an ornate tie knot.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  At the wedding.

• 0:42Speaker 03

  That's a long shot for me.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  At the wedding, I'm hoping we're all wearing Norman Osborne's knots.

• 0:45Speaker 03

  They're such an elaborate tie knot, there's almost no tie left afterwards.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  Uh, not that. Ahoy to my Otto Octavius.

• 0:54Speaker 03

  Okay, oh, I know what we are. We are Spider-Man villains. He's got it. He is doing it.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  Well done.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Norman Osborne, widely regarded as Spider-Man's arch-nemesis. He's the Green Goblin.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Ah, to his mates.

• 1:07Speaker 03

  Otto Octavius, one of Spider's smartest and most persistent foes. I like that as an idea.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Not this guy again.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Norman was always giving that.

• 1:20Speaker 03

  Uh, Dr. Octopus. And I was gonna be Venom.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Yes, that's the giveaway.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  A villain who gains powerful abilities from an alien organism. And when I first read that on the fly...

• 1:33Speaker 02

  I know what you thought.

• 1:35Speaker 03

  An alien, hmm.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Different kind of web.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  Organism.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  So that makes more sense for the very family-friendly Spider-Man.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Only the spider web comes out his wrist. Comes out his wrist. Shoots out his wrist.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Always the wrist. Always the wrist.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  Ahoy also to Julian. Went to haymissionandy.com, found it very easy to upload the audio there.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Oh, good website. Good website, but that particular corner of it is hard labour.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  Sorry if I'm a little, uh, out of breath here, fellas. Just finishing a pint at old mate's pub here in New York. On a bit of a self-mandated break for a few months with my girlfriend while travelling back to New Zealand. So I thought I'd pop in for a in-person gusto check. Good news on that front, very solid on the greeting and got a great beer recommendation from the bar staff. So keep it up there. Just wanted to give a shout out to my old mate Vince, who put me onto the pod many years ago. And I hope you're still planning on 40 years of podcasting so that this one has time to upload. Keep it up guys. Cheers.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Yes, we have, that's still the plan, a pledge of 40 shows for 40 years. I was listening to a podcast the other day, because 40 shows for 40 years is obviously 1600 episodes. I was listening to something down there, like, it was like episode 2, 3, 5, 7.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  You think 40 for 40 would put you right at the, like, it's not physically possible to produce anymore, but I think our one a week keeps the average right.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  And they're waffling. The other ones, a lot of waffle.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  You boil it down to the resin and we'd be the richest. Yeah, the highest concentration, the saltiest of content.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, tiny amount of waffle.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Very, very little waffle.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Very little.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Mostly ice cream.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  If you are using waffle. I mean, this in itself is probably the worst waffle we've ever done. It's a pointless analogy. Let's, speaking of edible things, let's pivot if we may into some exciting Hames Hives updates.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Oh, is there a buzz?

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Is there a buzz? There's buzz, there's always buzz brewing. This is of course my pursuit, which began out of curiosity, then boomed out of spite and is now running on spite and passion.

• 3:49Speaker 04

  Just.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  To create, to create a honey empire, to prove to you that you should never have mocked that suggestion.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  That we should invest our money in bees.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  Jack, for you, how well does it have to go in what period of time?

• 4:11Speaker 02

  I'd like to know this for you to go, you've got it. Well done. We take it. All I'm doing this for at the start, but now I'm passionate about the bees. All I was doing this for was for you to go, all right, we take it back.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  I think you'd have to, to call it a true success, you have to be at somebody's house who doesn't really listen to the podcast and you open their cupboard and you go like, oh, you got Hames Hives. And they go, yep, we get it every week.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  We like it.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  We like it.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  That's the dream customer. Dream customer, a jar a week.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  That is a lot of honey, isn't it?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Because you do worry.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Depends how big your jars are gonna be.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  You do worry. Every time I go to the pantry and I, and I use the hunt, our hunt.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Honey lasts forever.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  I have had this honey for a while. This is, we're not even, you know, the honey's not flowing yet, so I'll deal with this when we get to it. But it does, the repurchase frequency concerns me for the bottom line.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  It literally never goes bad, so you can keep.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  It actually can't go bad yet because it's, it has antibacterial properties. Really? It can get stuff in it. Like if you get toast or butter in it, that can go off.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's not gonna go off.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Honey itself, it's a very, it's a magical substance and I'm wrapped to be in the game.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. Well, then it's a good level for us to, to take it back.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  So if, for people that missed the last update, the first 200 hives are being purchased and set up. So Hames Hives getting operational, we've got our pledge to have a hive. You say, you have to strike deals with various farmers and landholders around, because you don't put them all together. You will have about 20 different sites.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  Because then it's like, you know, you.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  So they've already got the hives there and they're rebranding them yours?

• 5:47Speaker 02

  Nope. These are my hives. I'm buying these hives. Then we're dealing with another company who has relationships with different farmers. But I'm also reaching out to people that have no hives on their land. Because sometimes farmers want hives for pollination purposes. When you rent out, they'll pay me to put Hives Hives on their property. So we pollinate the trees and pollinate the fruit.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Have you got anyone who's been paying you?

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, a couple of nibbles.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  I'll give their names out of respect for their privacy.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  And I don't want people knowing where the hives are because I think they'll become prized hives to.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  And these are all near manuka trees.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Some of our hives will be, others will just be near wildflower and different varietals.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  And ones at the top of the hill?

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Then there is going to be one hive, the highest altitude hive in the world.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  To love zero.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  The strongest, no, no, where only the strongest bees survive.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  And that honey that squeaks out, even one drop of that will be almost like Venom getting his power from an organism.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  And it will do magical stuff for you. The strongest bees in the world producing the most potent honey. That's the one, Jack, I'm going to put into little sachets to sell to triathletes and endurance athletes. Who want to have an energy shot of the world's strongest honey.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  That, that's the kind of thing that takes a Jack.

• 7:05Speaker 05

  I like, I like the, the novelty of that. I like the gimmick. I'm, yeah, I'm liking it.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Now, obviously we're talking about post-production. That's after the, the nectar's been gathered, the pollen's been gathered, the bees have made their honey. I have not stolen, but I have taken the honey from the bees.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  And they have said, have it. We've got too much anyway.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  That's the deal with bees. We'll just go right back to making more.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  That's why we did it in the first place. We wouldn't make it have this honey. They love making it.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  That's why I left the door open.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  You wouldn't rob them of the chance. In this world, after that, that's where the marketing kicks in to sell the limited releases, the first jars, the first vintages.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  And for that.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  You might not know the answer to this, but.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  I will.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  If, why are they making honey?

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Bees?

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's for food. It's actually to store for the winter.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  For them.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, for, it's for their food, their foods. They put it in their little.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  You take, you take their food.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  As I said, Andy, they are delighted to be part of this.

• 8:03Speaker 05

  How do you know how much to leave for them?

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Oh, how do you know how much milk to take from a cow? They're the ones that left their teats open.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, sorry, I've snapped. Um, no, I welcome all questions. You leave enough for them to get by, but they make too much. They make too much. They're too damn good at it. Especially the bees I'm looking at.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  And that's why I, when I finally appoint my young enthusiastic disruptive beekeeper who's ready to shake up the whole damn industry. In accordance with my head beekeeper, that's how you sort of decide how much of the hive are we harvesting? How much do we leave for the bees?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  Keep them going through winter.

• 8:42Speaker 05

  Have you found that person yet?

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Taking applications still, but I do have a short list of names.

• 8:48Speaker 05

  How short's the list?

• 8:49Speaker 02

  Twelve.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  How many people are real on it?

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, there are some decoy names on there.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  In case it falls into the wrong hand.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  You would be mad to just have a list of 12 real, actual beekeepers for their security. For their security.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  Very true.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  You'd be mad.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  You'd be mad.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  You'd never work in the industry again. You're not the guy that listed 12 actual beekeepers together. They have families, they have lives, you can't do that to these people.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  So aside from all the things we're going to do, or you're going to do.

• 9:26Speaker 05

  But it feels like every update so far is just, we're gonna do, we're gonna do.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  I, there are, there is actually real business at hand because I think I mentioned a couple of, oh, it would be many shows ago now that someone started up the Instagram account, Hames Hives. As I mentioned, I didn't go and get the Hames Hives account.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  So from New Zealand, Paul has contacted me, he's gone, hi, you know, I'm the current owner of the Instagram account, Hames Hives.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  I'd like to hand it over amicably, but I'm not sure what platform to reach on. He doesn't want anything in return there, but amicably raises, yeah, I'm like, why, why would it not be amicably?

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Turn amicably, yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  It sounds, sounds like he wants something in return. Then I get another email this week from Tom, he's in Australia, going, proud to say that I'm the owner of Hames Hives.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Instagram account, and I'd be happy to hand it over. Don't want to sound like too much of a weasel, but I do it in exchange for a jar of free honey, once in production. That's a, that is a low fee to pay.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Absolutely, because it's never gonna happen.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Well.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  Magic.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  What is interesting here is I've got two people claiming to own.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Are they saying, are they saying the same, like at Hames Hives?

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Don't know, they both just say Hames Hives.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  Right, so there's no underscore.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Just all one word, well, yeah, all one word, that's the one I've seen and there's it's got me, it's got a cartoon version, it looks a little bit chat. An AI version of my head on a bee.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Which is very cheap, very, that's not the branding I'll be going with at all. We'll be very cutting edge, very design focused. We're going to disrupt that area of bee, of the bee game as well. A lot of, a lot of honey stuff either falls into the cartoon bee category.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  Capolino a cartoon bee, I think it might be. And that's fine, but that's, that's, that's your supermarket stuff, like that's

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  A little bit cheesy. Then there's people that try and make it a little too serious, I think.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  And people that go to the organic homemade.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. So where are you going? More artistic than that.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Really?

• 11:29Speaker 02

  We're a hunting company with flair and our design will reflect that.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  More details on that to come.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Great.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  So we've got Paul and we've got Tom, you're saying. So who do you think has the real one?

• 11:44Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  And what do you think by amicably that he wants money?

• 11:49Speaker 02

  That's the key we got, that's amicably. So my idea was that we get them both up, put them both on hold.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  And then tell them about the other one.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Okay, great.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  But then we go back and forth between them for a classic Hame's Hives, you know, in handle trade.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  So essentially we're going to have the same conversation with two people.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  But they don't know. I'll just say I've got something else to do. Can I just pop you on hold?

• 12:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. So are we here with you for this one or are you just having it with Paul?

• 12:14Speaker 02

  Uh, you guys can be here.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Okay, great.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Okay, is there any reason?

• 12:18Speaker 03

  No.

• 12:18Speaker 05

  No, no, no, we're not going to sabotage. He just wants to know.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Paul can hear us now. Is that Paul?

• 12:26Speaker 06

  Ahoy, lad.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Ahoy, Paul.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Paul, how are you?

• 12:31Speaker 06

  I'm very well. I've been expecting this phone call.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Oh, you sound like a villain.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Would you say you're more of a Venom, a Dr Octavius or Douglas Benson?

• 12:45Speaker 06

  Absolutely no malicious intent on my behalf.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Right, which is something that someone with malicious intent might say at the start of a conversation to throw you off.

• 12:55Speaker 06

  Friends close, enemies closer.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Paul, I appreciate you coming to me to the King Bee. As a King Bee, and when a worker bee comes to see the King Bee, a lot of King Bees are too aloof to even take a worker bee's call, but I welcome you into the chamber.

• 13:11Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  And I thank you for bringing with you the Instagram handle Hame's Hives. So am I right in saying it's just at Hame's Hives? That's the one? Are you the one with a little cartoon bee on it?

• 13:24Speaker 06

  Correct. Yeah, no underscores. It's the legit one, the one you want.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Well, it's not the legit one because you just started it and you're not me.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, but it's the one you'd want. It is the one I desire.

• 13:37Speaker 06

  Correct.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Um, what led you to start the Instagram account for a honey company that you don't run?

• 13:45Speaker 06

  Well, to be honest, I was actually showing my support. I jumped on the website and I got pulled away for whatever reason. And then I just decided later on that afternoon to jump on Instagram and went to search Hames Hives, to which obviously wasn't there. Complete oversight on your behalf.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 14:05Speaker 06

  So I just quickly jumped onto it and turned it into my own.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, and I reward and.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Oh, really? A reward? What, what, what kind of reward are you going to give?

• 14:17Speaker 06

  Oh, wow. We're already talking reward.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Well, no, I'm just, this is a reward. I'm giving compliments. I salute your busy Venus. I salute your endeavor. And so, well done. I'm impressed with your initiative. That's the reward. That's compliment. There you go. Have that compliment.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  How does that feel as a reward, Paul?

• 14:37Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, I think you could do better. Look, I, I feel like this is my golden ticket. I mean, I too want a spiral staircase. So this could be it for me.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Okay. So when you wrote, I'm happy to hand it over amicably in your email, that wasn't really true.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Did I just, was that more saying that, should I be showered with riches?

• 15:00Speaker 06

  Oh, nothing in life comes for free, surely.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Okay. Hey, it's out of my hands. Obviously, you're the one that wants it. Were you, do we put a full hold and then we have a discussion about how much?

• 15:14Speaker 02

  All right, I'm, I'm going to pop you on hold for a sec. Okay, Paul?

• 15:17Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  Okay. Seems like he's got the real one. Well then, what's Tom on about? Let's talk to Tom.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Tom can hear us now.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Tom, are you there?

• 15:28Speaker 07

  Ahoy, boys. How's it going?

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, guy. Tommy, very good, mate. Gusto to you.

• 15:32Speaker 07

  Gusto to you.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  And to you.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  You've got the Hames Hive Instagram account.

• 15:37Speaker 07

  I do. I'm the proud owner.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  All right, all right, all right. Tom, what's the, is it like Hames Hives? Like no underscores, no other tricks, no O one at the end of it?

• 15:48Speaker 07

  No, just Hames Hives.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  Hmm, great. Hard to get.

• 15:53Speaker 07

  Well, now it is. Yeah.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  And you're the one and only.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  How, how, how'd you get it?

• 16:00Speaker 07

  Well, I heard you talking about it. I thought there's no way you'll do it. So I'll do it.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's pretty accurate.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, well done.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Um, and so what are you, Tom?

• 16:09Speaker 07

  I'm seventeen.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  And Tom, what have you put up on that Hive Ties Instagram so far? Is there anything up there?

• 16:16Speaker 07

  Uh, nothing really. Just a little AI picture of Hamish's face on a B.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  And what, what, what AI did you use?

• 16:24Speaker 07

  I just tried TBT for that one.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, he's seventeen. He's all over it. Um. You do mention that you would like a jar of honey in, in exchange. This feels like a very Winnie the Pooh deal.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:36Speaker 07

  It does, yes, yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Is that all you want, Tom?

• 16:39Speaker 07

  Well, I'm thinking a little bit more now.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 16:43Speaker 07

  I don't seem like a big old weasel, boys, but.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  What? Why would you say, is that all you want? No one says.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  After is that all you want? Is it money you're after, Tom? Well, I was trying to get at what you might be after and what you think might be fair.

• 16:56Speaker 07

  Well, I was thinking if you're doing the game show and giving away, um, from what Hame bought.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 17:03Speaker 07

  Would happily be contested.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  A contestant on the game show.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  Okay, soon is a big call. Could get it. I mean, it's probably going to be ticketed. I mean, it feels like, to use a B term here, a bit of cross pollination between ideas, doesn't it?

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  I don't know if I have the authority to use.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that's the kind of thing.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Team tickets to help me in my private endeavor.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  To run a B company.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Well, we can check with a quick vote. I'm against it.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  That was quick.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't cross path.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. I, I am for it.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  Just a quick little count. Oh, what a bummer. I am bad luck, Hame. You didn't win on that. Tom, let's put Tom on hold because Hame, you might want to come back to him with an offer.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Let's put Tom on hold. Okay, they're both on hold, Hame.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 17:48Speaker 03

  What is going on?

• 17:49Speaker 02

  They both claim to have it. And they both claim to have.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  They have to merge them together to have them duke it out. Well, they both claimed to have done the, the little. AI picture as well. Yeah, I know.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  Well, one of them is just looking at the account that does already exist and claiming.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  What's, what's a way?

• 18:04Speaker 03

  What about if one of them direct message you? What about we tell one to direct message you, like tell Paul to direct message you.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  I don't follow Hame's hives out of protest.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  But direct message you as a, as a, like an emoji um of your choosing and the other one, a different emoji.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, great idea.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  And we'll see who comes forward with it.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Yep, okay.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Well, let's go back to Paul first. Paul.

• 18:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Sorry to keep you waiting.

• 18:30Speaker 06

  That's okay.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  In any kind of hostage situation and transfer, we have to have proof of life. We need to know that you are actually the owner of it. So we were hoping and put to you, can you please send an emoji um of our choosing to, to Hame um on Instagram? Have you got the, can you log in? Is it that, is that available?

• 18:53Speaker 06

  Yep, yep, I'm here right now.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, great. Well, let's just do, just do the squid, send him a squid. It's often underused, so I think, I think the squid would appreciate it. If you can send him a squid and as soon as that comes through, we'll come back to you. Okay, we'll put him.

• 19:07Speaker 06

  No problem.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Okay, thanks, Paul.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  Hey, Tom.

• 19:11Speaker 06

  How are you?

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, very well. Just obviously with any kind of hostage transfer, we need to know and ascertain proof of life that, that you actually do have the uh, the account. So would you mind just direct messaging Hame uh on Instagram an emoji?

• 19:29Speaker 06

  Sure thing.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Just send me a pot of honey. Cause that's all I want.

• 19:32Speaker 06

  You like that now?

• 19:34Speaker 02

  That's all I, that's all I would ever want in, from you is a pot of honey. I think that's a fair price for anything. Thank you.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  We'll put you on hold and you can sort that out.

• 19:42Speaker 06

  Right, yeah.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Okay, so now we just see which one comes through?

• 19:45Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  I love it. Is it a squid for Paul or a honey for Tom?

• 19:49Speaker 02

  And what's the thing?

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Oh, Tom's gone. Tom's gone.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  Tom's hung up.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  Tom's hung up.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  If I had to guess, I was gonna guess Paul was the real owner.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  The squid came through.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  So it's Paul.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  But there is another account. I'm just realising, I just went to search. There's two accounts now. But one's underscore, Hames underscore hives. Which is false.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  And did the squid come from Hames Hives?

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Squid came from Hames Hives, all lowercase. All right.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Paul, bring Paul back up.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Paul? Paul?

• 20:23Speaker 06

  Yeah?

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Squid came through, you check out, um, you check out as the real owner of Hames Hives, all lowercase. The slogan you've gone with there is world's finest organic, single origin, New Zealand alpine honey. But then also holding it ransom for Hamish Blake.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  So the fact that you've used the word ransom in the bio on Instagram, but amicably in the email to me. I feel that we have to come to a bit of an agreement here, Paul.

• 20:53Speaker 06

  Okay, I'm listening.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Oh, hang on. Now, Tom's just bit, we lost Tom, but he has messaged me a honey from the other account. Tom's got the other account. Tom's is an underscore.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  Underscore, yeah, we knew it was an underscore. Okay.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Okay, so Paul, I want to deal with you because you know underscore, okay?

• 21:09Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 21:11Speaker 02

  What if I gave you a bottle from the first run, our first hive we tap? So that will be a vintage bottle.

• 21:20Speaker 06

  Okay, I mean, it's a start.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  And is it an end?

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Is it a, all right, what if I gave you another jar as the end?

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's two jars, one did the start and one at the end.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  One's the end.

• 21:35Speaker 06

  I mean, I live in New Zealand, so it's quite easy to come by here.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, everyone can get honey, but not this honey.

• 21:44Speaker 06

  Very true. Will it be a collector's item by any chance?

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Will it ever be made? That's the other question you've got to ask here, will it ever be made?

• 21:53Speaker 02

  What about this? This is down the track, but I envisage once production is booming to run a personal tour of some of our hive sites. What if I could guarantee you the first seat on the minibus as I do a personal tour of some of Hames Hives alpine sites?

• 22:11Speaker 06

  Oh, I would enjoy that, to be fair.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Hmm. And those two jars of honey. Hmm.

• 22:17Speaker 06

  Can I ask for a recommendation from Andy and Jack?

• 22:20Speaker 05

  I mean, I think the the bus tour is probably even less likely than the honey ever being made.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'd just go for straight cash. Well, you've re-stoked my spite fire.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Take the deal, Paul. I reckon take the deal. It's exciting.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  And a hat.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  And a hat.

• 22:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, look, I, I, and a hat, definitely.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  The first hat we make.

• 22:44Speaker 06

  I'm a believer of this, so yeah.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, good man. Good dear. Okay, well, I'll let you guys connect, but that is.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Paul, do you want to just DM me like the login details and?

• 22:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, uh, I'm not, yeah, sure. I can do that.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  We'll, we'll let you guys discuss.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Okay, appreciate that. Sounded a little bit like you wouldn't, but, um, no worries.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  And I'll get back to Tom and tell him sadly, no deal. He's got the underscore, which rules him out. Um, but I will send him a, I think, send him a jar, but I'll send him nothing. Yeah, I'll send him a cease and desist.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Um, of all the things that people submit, things for Rando, um, it's probably a better way to say that, but guess what rolls in the most, we reckon? Extreme empaths.

• 23:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  They just fly in. Hey, the world is full of people who, and I think it's worth celebrating. Have a lot of empathy for things that aren't human and couldn't possibly feel. And that's a beautiful thing. We need more empathy in the world.

• 23:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Let's do it. The opener for Extreme Empaths, of course, is all the songs in the world, so no songs feel left out.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  More symbols in all the songs in the world than you'd think, isn't there?

• 24:03Speaker 03

  I'll kick this off. It's from Jamie. Extreme Empath submission. Often it is people writing it about their partners. They notice it about their partners. And Jamie's one of those. Said, when using the microwave, my partner likes to put items as close to the edge of the glass plate as possible. So the meal enjoys their trip around like a carousel ride, rather than just stuck in the middle, getting dizzy spinning.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Going twirling like a ballerina.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  I do that too, but not because I want the porridge to have a great time. But my brain thinks that if it goes around the outside, it soaks up more of a variety of the waves.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  The waves.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  And if it's in the middle, it's just getting the one, like it won't be as evenly heated. I don't know if there's any truth to that. I don't even know the direction the waves go in. They start one side and go the other, they must.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  I thought it was just a free for all in there. They just bounce it everywhere.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, that doesn't really make a lot of sense because even the waves have to sort of start in one direction and go to another side. Have to like go through it.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  They're so small, no one's ever seen them.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  They're so, yeah, when they're micro.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. There's, that's, that's, that's like, no, it's unanswerable.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  Well, haven't they bought out a nano wave because we've had microwaves for so long. Because remember I told you I bought a microwave now, like that didn't, where to buy it for the, for like the office.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  How many watts?

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Oh, couldn't tear off the top of my head, but it, but remember, remember I was like, they don't spin anymore. They now have no spin technology.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Really? Oh, really?

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, flat plate. Did I do show you this? That was about, that was last year. I couldn't believe it.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  But also be careful when you're doing your rice, et cetera. I mean, this is the opposite of fast and loose. But most microwaves back in the day, eight hundred watts. Now you're getting them twelve hundred, fourteen hundred.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Right. So when you get the rice cup and it says forty five seconds, too much.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  Way too much. That, that, and you meant to.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  I could handle it.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  You, you know, you've got the power button. So if you are a fourteen hundred watt.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  You meant to knock it down.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  And it's, and it's, and then.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Never done that before in my life. I would never, I only want the maximum.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  I don't know what I'd buy this for if I'm not running a high, high, high.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  You're just never going into the settings or like choosing.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  No, the, the, if the rice says, if the rice says. You see the roast chicken on the microwave and you're like, you're, you're dreaming, mate. Porridge and maybe ten seconds to thaw out some ice cream. I was cooking a chicken in here.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  If it says. Ninety seconds at in an eight hundred watt microwave. You're better off powering it down to a sixty or seventy percent for your ninety seconds.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Good luck, man. You're a dream come true for Cambrook and the rest of the microwave manufacturers that you would care this much about the microwave. To me, the microwave is like in ancient, like in, in like medieval times or Lord of the Rings times. If you live near a lava, if you live near a volcano, just you just go to the microwave, put something in there and just goes hot as you can. Absolutely as hot as you can, take it out and you just hope that it, that it's cooked. Somehow my microwave seems to have the setting that only makes the bowl or the cup warm.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Nothing inside, whatever bowls we have at home are specifically designed to dissolve all the microwaves and not let any go through to the soup or whatever. Um, big fun. And this is actually from a James, not a Jamie. We recently had fixed drawers installed in our wardrobe. So my wife asked me to make sure I vacuum the carpet beforehand before we install the drawers. And I replied, I didn't think it'd be necessary because it's going to be covered up anyway. She said she felt sorry that the carpet was being covered by the drawers, would never see daylight again and insisted it should be cleaned. One last kind gesture before that happened.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  True, going away for life. Might as well go with a, with a clean shaven haircut.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  From Joe.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Extreme empath moment. I was doing some baking using my KitchenAid stand mixer.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  Must be nice. She writes in letters. They are good though.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  I lifted up.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Not trying to weasel one, got one, don't give one, don't send one in because Jack will intercept it. Do not send one in.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, very good for cakes.

• 28:10Speaker 03

  I lifted up the mixer head.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  To remove the bowl and clean it.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  A day or two later, when I went to put the bowl back, I realised I'd left the mixer head tilted up. Couldn't help but think how sore its neck must have been.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Heavy.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Sitting there.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  It is heavy.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Time. I made sure I lowered it softly and gave it a rub on the back.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  From Elizabeth. I think there's a bit of us that could all identify with this. Reaching out as an extreme empath, I have an old Hotmail account for when I was a kid that I can no longer access. But anytime you have to enter an email address to sign up for a public wifi or something, you don't really want to receive emails from them. I use my old Hotmail address. I always feel terrible that the Hotmail account never gets looked at. And yet it's being tortured with the worst spam in the world, languishing in the dark rather than receiving any nice, meaningful personal emails.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  There would be so many of those, just a full slot bucket we're never going into.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  You're never going there. Brody, ahoy boys. My wife is a fellow empath. We recently childproofed our kitchen with child locks on all the reachable cabinets. My wife feels bad for the once free cabinets and their contents that every few nights, once our daughter goes to sleep, she unlocks all the cabinets. To let them feel free again.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Swearing freely, my beauties. It's not your fault. We had a baby. There was nothing wrong with you as the doors. You're good.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Jack, this might ring true to you, and Ando, this will ring true to you very shortly. But as a husband, right, you're a husband to be, you're on the cusp of husbandhood.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Yep, can't wait to join you guys. Finally accepted into the group.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, we'll need you to grow a beard and then you'll be full, you'll be part of two alliances at once.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Sometimes I say to Zoe, like, you know, I'm generally, not unusual, but I do a bit of apologising, a little bit of mending, do a little bit of explaining. You know, there's a fair bit, fair bit of that goes on in a relationship. Little bit of like, yep, no, probably could have done that. Yep, now that you mention it. Yeah, should have rewritten the list at the shops, but you, you know, you always get a few extra items from me. You will miss one of the critical items at the supermarket. That's it. We know about, they know that about me and that's the exciting part about me doing the shopping.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  But so there's a fair bit of that. But then the other day I just stopped and I said, hey, but just so you know. If there was a husband's show, like a kind of a dog show, like the Best In Show Crufts Award, it's like you would get a blue ribbon.

• 30:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  I am a blue ribbon husband.

• 31:00Speaker 05

  I would agree.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Number one on my chest.

• 31:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  So I was like, mate, I know we spend a lot of time thinking about how I could perform better, but I think it's worth setting back and just going, if there was a husband's show where wives came and I don't think we have to be on leashes, but I think, I think that's probably just going a little bit too far. But if they walked us around the ring like they do in the dog show, and then they kind of read a list of the achievements over.

• 31:25Speaker 05

  I would get a blue ribbon.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you would. Do you think you'd get a blue ribbon, Joe?

• 31:29Speaker 05

  I do, and I think the problem is.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  I don't think you're getting a blue ribbon.

• 31:32Speaker 05

  I don't.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  You're not getting a blue ribbon.

• 31:34Speaker 05

  What's happening to you that I'm not doing?

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Well, for one, at one point, didn't you go and live in a different house because you were too tired to do the breakfast radio show?

• 31:42Speaker 05

  No, that was like, that was a few times.

• 31:48Speaker 05

  I mean, blue ribbon stuff. I mean, but overall, if you average it out, I think over the year, I would, I would be best in class.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Really? What's your class? What's your, like, because there are, like, you know, there are dog breeds. They're like, you know, these are the poodles.

• 32:04Speaker 05

  Yes. Oh, whatever's like keeping up good vibes around the house.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  That, don't confuse that. Don't, neither. That's one of your tricks, though. That's one of your tricks. What's your class? What's your class of husband? Like unemployed, one child or? Like, what is the class?

• 32:19Speaker 05

  Um, devoted, definitely.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's true. But that's more of a trick that we do. It's like, it's more of one of the attributes we have.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Because it would have been like under 40s, like 35 to 40, one child. That's the class of husband you are.

• 32:32Speaker 05

  So it might like more like my stats.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 32:34Speaker 05

  I suppose, can I jump in?

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  Because I agree, I think you're both.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Blue ribbons.

• 32:40Speaker 05

  Blue ribbons.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 05

  Because this other friends of mine who.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  Just go out and don't go home.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  I'm always home.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  And that's a bad dog.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  That's a runaway dog.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  And I go, what's all that about?

• 32:55Speaker 02

  They're like, they have to put up posters on them.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  And there's, the response is sometimes, she's used to it. And you're like, wow, so how did you find yourself in that category? I've got mates that-

• 33:04Speaker 02

  That's how dogs, that's how dogs must feel if they ever go to the zoo. Can you take a dog to the zoo?

• 33:08Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  I don't think you're, I don't think you're meant to let a dog see those animals because then dog would be like, hang on a sec. I wanna leave. I have to do all this sitting and so I have to be so obedient. And then how come the lions, they just had to run around, they do what they want. And then the zookeeper's like, well, they can't be tamed.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  There's friends of mine-

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Did you try? Did you try? Cause I was, I used to be a wild animal as well and I got tamed.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  Friends of mine that pretended they had to be at work during Covid, just to not have to be at home with kids. And would go in there and just sit and play games, like-

• 33:38Speaker 02

  Well, you know, sometimes I'm a little, I'm not, I never lie about going to painting club. But I sometimes aren't fully forthcoming. That would probably be one of the black marks against my name. If, if my week was audited and it's like, hang on a sec. You've been painting. You've been painting during the day. And did you come home and change your shirt and put just a t-shirt on so I wouldn't see you painting clothes? That would be a black mark against me at the husband show if that came out.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  But the other night, I mean, this is a little while ago, but Zo, like if Zo's watching, you know, one of her shows that she's just watching by herself, like an Emily in Paris.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Springs to mind.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  I will, if she wasn't expecting me on the couch, but then suddenly I am ready for couch time. And she's already watching one of these shows. I will, I'll sit through it and I won't make silly comments and I won't question, cause she makes it very clear, like something like Emily in Paris, like, we're not watching it cause it's great television. We just like watching it for like just various girl reasons. And I'll go, okay, well, I don't understand it. Maybe this is a terrible show.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  That's a, a blue ribbon. I wouldn't, I wouldn't lead, I wouldn't lead with that as your number one trick though.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  Well, I'm just, one, that just shows a considerate and also like wardrobe. Adjustments, very open to wardrobe adjustments. So it's like, we don't wear that anymore. Wear this, don't wear that. And I just go, all right, yep, dress me as you will.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm gonna say I'm like a cat dog.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  I'm a blue ribbon husband for this. I'm not fighting back, I'm not biting your hand, I'm not yapping. I allow myself to be groomed.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Another one that I think that, I mean, now that we're just bragging about how we're good to our partners, the pace I walk for her.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  You slow it down.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Get ready to have children, mate, because you'll slow that pace right down.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Really?

• 35:23Speaker 05

  It's a, that's a slow pace you move at now.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  I actually think kid, I think kid pace is the best pace because then you're actually looking at a leaf sometimes for a minute.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  And you're like, oh, that's beautiful. That's a great part about having kids because then you like see the world through their eyes. The middle ground is the hardest pace. We all like walking fast. We have much longer legs than our wives. That's our preferred pace.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Love walking fast. Yeah, slowing down halfway between kid pace and adult pace, that's the most boring pace, isn't it?

• 35:52Speaker 03

  If anyone needed those roller shoes you got.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 35:56Speaker 03

  It would have been back for me. Like, like I would have just, because I feel like I'm always going at about 50% of the pace that I'd like to go at. And she's telling me I'm going too fast and I can't sit there and explain to her how many minutes I'm losing for this pace over this stage of my life.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  This is good dog behaviour because it's, that's like when you see a greyhound being walked by a family and you go, wow.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  What you're capable of.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  I know. It's like watching a Ferrari in a school zone.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Give it a track day, you're gonna see some incredible stuff from that thing. Yeah, blue ribbon, blue ribbon, blue ribbon husbands.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Well done, everyone.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Callie has gone and tapped Darcy on the shoulder, which he means he knows what's coming. He's wandered around the corner. And yes, it's time to put him under the microscope.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  We're fully microscope. We're all gonna be under a microscope. You know what? I think, I think maybe it's time you put. Darcy. Under the microscope.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  Here we go. The man with the ability to sniff has his scissors gaffer taped together for this for one segment only. The crocodile has his mouth roped shut. Or he will not be able to snip nor edit this segment and he must face the music.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  I can.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  He can, he can.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  He has a, he has a very, he has a pocket knife.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  That has small scissors on it. Oh, Darcy, this is where unfortunately Andy threw privileged information because Andy's wife, sorry, Andy's wife is in the future. Darcy's wife.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Sits next to me at work.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Works with Andy.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  At work. Yes, Jane sits next to me at work and she gave me.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  She pointed out for the animation, it makes it sound like you have, you're an accountant.

• 37:44Speaker 03

  You go to an office job.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  She works for the animation company that makes, you know, do not watch this show rather than. She sits next to me at work. Uh, I'm a junior accounts executive. I freaking hate my boss.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  Now, is there anything you'd like to declare before I bring it up?

• 38:03Speaker 02

  No, I have absolutely no idea what this is. He's getting better at it. Sometimes we get a free one.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  She gave me something that just, I was flabbergasted.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  More than Darcy putting the, what was the last one where the robot vacuumed up the dog's poo? And then you tried to wash the robot, the vacuum cleaner in the dishwasher?

• 38:24Speaker 03

  Yep, that, that also happens.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  That hasn't happened since.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  That funny you say that actually, cause I was, I didn't realise how closely connected this one is. Jane, I was sitting next to Jane yesterday in the office. She turns to me and goes, oh, she just received a text message from you. She goes, oh, I don't know what. She goes, Darcy has stepped in dog poo three times this week.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  That has happened.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Well, how?

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Why are you texting her?

• 38:54Speaker 05

  Because the first time, the first time it happened and I was like, oh my God, this, this sucks. I haven't stepped in dog poo for like 10 years.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  It's something you do when you're 10 years old, like.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, they're out there and you get them.

• 39:06Speaker 03

  But you get better at identifying them, avoiding them. So like I've had unlucky ones. I mean, have you, when's the last time you stepped in a dog poo, Hame?

• 39:13Speaker 02

  We have a very, very small, you wouldn't even call it a nature strip. It's a nature wedge and it's, all the leaves are falling down at the moment. And I said, hey, this will be fun. Let's scrape this sort of tree between our neighbour and house. And I was like, let's scrape all the leaves together. Throw them. Someone's, judging by the, if I may, girth of the turd. Someone's small dog had secretly or otherwise done one in the leaves.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  And I unfortunately, I hit, I hit that landmine. No, as I was standing sweeping.

• 39:48Speaker 05

  Standing sweeping.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  And I was, then I moved my foot to sweep those leaves up and I went, oh, well, this is what's happened now.

• 39:53Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Well, benefit of the doubt, they didn't know that the dog had run and done that. I think you would know. And I think they've gone, oh well, it's under leaves. It's all going to compost.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Yep. So that was the second one for me, Hame.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Now that it's like, all the leaves are falling off the trees and they're all on the ground.

• 40:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're camouflaged.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  Ollie, our dog's over in the distance. He's taking a poo. So I'll walk over there and it's just completely camouflaged.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Oh, you can't find it.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  No, and I was just, I was stepping around like I'd lost something on the ground and then immediately.

• 40:22Speaker 05

  She stepped in Ollie's.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, stepped in Ollie's. That was the second one. That was the second one.

• 40:26Speaker 05

  What was the first one?

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Can I just ask, Dust, you sometimes wear R M Williams boots?

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  They're a gift from a former boss.

• 40:32Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  They're actually his personal boots, weren't they?

• 40:38Speaker 05

  Wait, what, what's that? Can I know that story?

• 40:40Speaker 02

  That was from, it was from Todders.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  Todders.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  I think Todders bought some R M. I think he bought some R M Williams that didn't fit him and gave them to Dust.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Or did he give you fresh R M?

• 40:51Speaker 03

  This is not making it.

• 40:52Speaker 05

  No, no, no, they had been worn.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  This has to be made. They had been worn by Todders. Sniff this. No way, you can't, you don't like to sniff this segment. It's a sniff free zone. The reason I'm asking is that an RM has a flat-ish sole depending on the boot.

• 41:08Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  So not a lot of tread. Were you in those or were you in a tread heavy sneaker?

• 41:11Speaker 05

  Tread heavy.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Oh, you don't. Ah, tread heavy with fresh.

• 41:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, one of them, yeah, this was.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Todd has will be relieved to know that his boots haven't been turded.

• 41:25Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  And really, it was a powerful. As he listens to this pod right now, he's like. Powerful gesture from Todd as he go, you know, you know, I could ask you to metaphorically walk a mile in my boots. Oh, I've got a better idea.

• 41:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  Wear them.

• 41:41Speaker 05

  And then the first poo was, you know, this, Ando, like when you're taking your dog for a walk and Jack at night. And you and they do a poo and you have to get the torch out on your phone sometimes to be able to find it. And I found his, but on my way to his.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  Found another.

• 41:59Speaker 05

  And judging by the girth of this turd.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  Larged turd. Larged turd. Oh, that's. Yeah.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  How do people leave though? I get so angry with them. So then how's, I mean, so two in a week's, that's unlucky. So then when the third one, that's enough to check your wife.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  Grabbing, grabbing coffee with Marshy like two days ago.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 05

  Yeah. And just this one was a, this was as a kid, you just, it's sitting in the middle of the pavement and I stepped in it. And I was like, what the hell is going on?

• 42:29Speaker 02

  What's going on? I'm getting, I mean, you're part of the Hit You Show, um, turd patrol where we, we drive around in front of you and deposit turds trying to get you. So I've, cause I've scored three points this week because I picked you as my target.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  But my question to you is actually, sorry, Dust, did you text for each individual turd or was three the threshold where you're like, now I must share this with my wife?

• 42:51Speaker 05

  After this, when I stepped in at the second. Time. That's when I was like, oh my God, I've stepped in it twice. So I did text her at that point.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Now we've got a trend.

• 42:59Speaker 05

  Yeah. And then, and then the third one was like, what is going on? That's almost a video call at that stage.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  This is a, yeah, like an accompanying photo or like this is.

• 43:11Speaker 05

  This is. No, I don't, but. Same shoes? All different shoes.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 43:17Speaker 05

  All different shoes.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Was it, was it?

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Cause you do wear those at work. Was the last year one with Todd's boots?

• 43:25Speaker 05

  My, I, I remember as a, as a kid in high school, taking the bus to school and I stepped in dog poo just before I got on the bus. And it was.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 05

  One of those so embarrassing situations.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  It happens. Everyone's screaming, who's got dog poo?

• 43:39Speaker 05

  And it was the classic, like, look at the aisle and there were just poo treads all the way up to my seat. And then you just check.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  And it's all over the bottom of your shoe.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. Changing schools material. What school did you go to after that?

• 43:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.