336 - Questionable Aisle Songs

Andy and Bec are still in the midst of wedding planning and need to decide which song Bec will walk down the aisle to. Hamish and Jack have come up with some questionable suggestions. Chit Chat Champion: FIFA World Cup Edition. Hamish's Bat Tennis investigation continues, and Andy has a musical mystery for the boys to solve. Plus, Hamish tests the boys with "The Checklist Game". 1. Potential Wedding Songs 2. Chit Chat Champion 3. Bat Tennis Investigation Results 4. Melodical Mystery 5. The Check List Game

• 0:02Speaker 00

  A Listener Production.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Sorry, it's still buffering. One.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Ahoy to my Stromboli, Hamish.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  Thank you very much, sir. Um, I, I think, are we mustaches?

• 0:33Speaker 02

  No, that's why I was a little bit.

• 0:35Speaker 03

  Wasn't Stromboli a strong man?

• 0:37Speaker 02

  Yes, and the Stromboli moustache is.

• 0:39Speaker 03

  Is a, is a type of moustache.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  The long, thin one that curls at the end.

• 0:43Speaker 03

  Is the irony, we're just well-known strong men. So you're like, oh, but you could have just said Hamish.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  This might, no, this might give it away. Ahoy to my etna, Jack.

• 0:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 0:54Speaker 04

  Oh, yes. It's so obvious. I won't even say it.

• 0:59Speaker 03

  Oh, yes. In fact, let's end the episode. Thank you for joining us in a very, very quick Hamish and Andy podcast. I know the episode will look longer on your player, but we've just kept the dead air in, so no one suspected the early leave. Are we, are we volcanoes?

• 1:14Speaker 02

  We are the three main volcanoes.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Sicily.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Of your hometown Sicily.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  Siciliana Volcano.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Yes. Volcano is the, the name of the third one.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  That's why I said it, Andy, because I'm one-eighth Italian. Do you think I just say words that sound Italian?

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:32Speaker 03

  That would be culturally insensitive to my people.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Which I think has been the case many times with you.

• 1:38Speaker 03

  And were you saying I just got lucky with Volcano?

• 1:42Speaker 04

  Is Volcano, whether, is that the original volcano and that's where it came from? Or have they repurposed that?

• 1:48Speaker 02

  It's the island that actually gave the name to the word volcano. You are correct.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  Correct, Jack.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Yes. So, so well done. Stromboli is the famous for near constant, small explosive eruptions. Very similar to Hamish's play over there, waking up the household.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  Although never in the studio, I may add, despite the constant conspiracy theories that fly around. We haven't addressed farts in the studio for a long time. And I don't know, we're not going to do it now, but they come in. There's lots that come in. Some people are furious that we're not addressing it because they, whether it's a chair creak or whether it really is Jack farting.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Well, it's not me.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Sometimes people, it was one email I read the other day going, sorry, guys, are we just listening to constant farting now? I think they think that the less we address it, the more Jack feels he can get away with it.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  I do like the idea of giving everybody an amnesty, though. So we just fart as much as we want. And if we don't mention it, then it just drives them crazy.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  I like this, like the enhanced games.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Like the steroid game, one show where we fart as much as we can.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  I'm nervous of that. These are airlocked studios. I don't think that's, that's not for anyone.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  I don't think it delivers for anyone, does it? The audience doesn't want to hear it. I don't think we want to sit through it.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  I think we just keep up the current regime, Jack, where you try and sneak them out during high energy moments.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Ahoy also to Jess, an Aussie travelling in Canada. I went to heymissionandy.com to upload her audio. What she's been doing. Good luck.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  Ahoy, hey, Mr. Andy. It's Jess here, an Australian living in Canada. So it's growing season here in Canada. And every year I've been growing giant pumpkins. Historically, I have named every pumpkin that I've had, and they've always started with H. I don't know why. The first one, he just had a Harry Potter scar, so we called him Harry. And it kind of evolved from there. And this year, my partner decided he wanted to grow one too. So now we're having a competition to see who can have the biggest pumpkin. Now, we were trying to toss up between names now that we have two. So he suggested Hamish and Andy. And now we're in competition to see who could grow the most superior P.

• 4:10Speaker 05

  So stay tuned.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:12Speaker 05

  Currently, Hamish is winning as expected, but I will keep you guys updated.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  No, go Hamish. Love it. That was well worth it. It was a long run up and I was thinking like, all right, now we're across this bit. Well landed.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Uh, traditionally pets named Hamish Nandi, Hamish perishes first. Let's see what happens when we move to produce.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  This isn't about lifespan though, and it's how big you can live while you're here. And even this pumpkin may perish first, but I guarantee you he'll live a big life and he'll go out, he'll go out strong.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  We, we wait with bated breath. Um, Ham, uh, I've mentioned this to you and Jack.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  We're still going through wedding planning. They, they, they, they love scheduling a meeting, don't they? Even if it's just to go across what you've already decided.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  I don't generally like being involved in anything that requires more than two meetings.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  And I remember, you know, this was a long time ago now, but yeah, getting married when they're like, okay, well pick this up at the next meeting. I distinctly remember feeling that you should knock everything off in one.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  One, that's what I was hoping for.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  You've done 20.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  We've done lots.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  You do, you have a weekly.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  It's bi-week, every two weeks.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  And so.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  How could there be anything left to organise?

• 5:24Speaker 02

  That's what I think, mate. But, um, one thing we haven't decided on is the song in which Bec will walk down the aisle to.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Right.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  And the wedding planner said to both of us in the last meeting, look, here's your homework. We always get that. Here's your homework. You're like, gosh, can't we do the work in class?

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Free time.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  When we leave. What are these meetings for?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Exactly. He goes, here's your homework. I want you guys to close your eyes. I want you to imagine that celebrant has hushed everybody because the bride's about to come down.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Imagine that moment and then just press play on Spotify, a different type of song.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  I can't, my eyes are closed.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Open slightly for a quick clip.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Quickly open one eye so I can see the screen.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  And then you may feel the one that's right for you. So that's what's been happening around our house. And I said to you and Jack, hey, guys, if you've got any suggestions.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  Yep, and we do.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Let's, let's do that as an exercise today on the pod. And I will put some forth that I think would be great.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  If we can take.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  That I haven't had the guts yet to present to Beck.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  I know the, the sacred chipping ceremony has been shut down by Beck.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  I watched.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  But if this, and, and I, and I didn't want to say it at the time, but I heard when we spoke to her, just the fact that she, from memory, she, you know, she was like, look, I loved a lot of things about it. I'm just not sure if it's right for the wedding. But I went, this feels like a bride with a lot on her plate. And if we could take something off Beck's plate, that would be my absolute pleasure to do today.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  So Marshy has built, to help us imagine it even more, has built a little bit of sound, the hush of a crowd and the celebrant introducing the bride. Um, I'll kick one off. This is one suggestion that I think would be fantastic.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Great.

• 7:16Speaker 06

  Could we please have everyone's attention? Thank you, as we welcome the bride.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  That's powerful.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  It's, it's very emotional for you.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Yes. I mean, I went straight into the lyrics there. I would have preferred ba ba da ba da.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  That is the classic.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  So that gives you a bit more anticipation before she comes out.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Or if she archipelit it.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 04

  You meant to have something borrowed, something blue, so that works as well.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  True.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Jack, powerful case. Okay, I've got one here that I, I've just gone for high energy.

• 7:59Speaker 06

  Could we please have everyone's attention? Thank you, as we welcome the bride.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Not bad. Really good.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Actually nominated this as a joke.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  I think it's great.

• 8:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Is she wearing heels or flats? Uh. Because if you're in flats, you can move a lot.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  She can move there. That's, that's nice.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  That's funny because that is a bit of a joke backfire there. I now think that has to be the song.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Well, we haven't heard Jack's first submission, Jack.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  So I wanted mine to be all about Beck so that when we're watching her come down the aisle, we know that the song is about her. So I've changed the lyrics to mine slightly.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  You're really doing anything you can to perform at the wedding, aren't you?

• 8:56Speaker 04

  And I also don't know if she's keeping her surname Harding or if she's taking Lee, but at this moment she will still have her maiden name, obviously.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 9:06Speaker 06

  Could we please have everyone's attention? Thank you, as we welcome the bride.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  It's a Harding.

• 9:21Speaker 04

  It's Rebecca Harding. Dressed up for her wedding. The ceremony. It's a good day.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Is this an original? Is this an original?

• 9:43Speaker 04

  This is usually is Bonnie Tyler, "It's a heartache". It's a heartache. Oh, right.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  Because usually when you do a parody song, it has to be a recognizable tune.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  No, people know that song. People definitely know that song.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  No more than a parody.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Only 30% in this room.

• 10:02Speaker 04

  Did you guys know that song? I don't, I don't, I don't think I do. Maybe I wasn't hitting the notes the same way that she, she does. But the original lyrics. It's a heartache.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Fun idea to have a song about Beck.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  It sounded, it kind of sounds like a, like sitcom kind of theme music. Do you know what I mean? Like you kind of like you cut to Beck giving a thumbs up to camera. And then just like, you know, Rebecca Harding as the bride.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  Uh, wow. Thank you, mate.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  Another submission from me. This is, I think this is a fail safe, although yours.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  Hot step is the fail safe.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Um, but I think you'll know why I went back to the well with this one.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:45Speaker 06

  Could we please have everyone's attention?

• 10:49Speaker 06

  Thank you, as we welcome the bride.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  No, no, we don't.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Bad lyrics.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's actually bad lyrics.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  More of a Buck's knife party, isn't it? Buck's knife song.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Well, I haven't heard that in years. Far From Over.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Actually listened to it the other weekend.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  Have you still got Frank on rotation?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Hmm. No, the lyrics aren't right. It was just a favorite of ours from yesteryear. Frank Stallone's Far From Over.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  I have a, one playlist that I'll use for like, um, being on the station reblog. Like a pump up, like songs that, you know, you can just like get into the pain cave in. And originally I had Far From Over in there to harness the power of it. But it still does, I can't decide if I'm, it's half pump up, half giggle.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Sometimes it kind of breaks you out of the mindset. So he's, he's been bumped from that playlist, but I do enjoy sometimes just a bit of Frank in the car. Just to, just to pump the team up.

• 11:53Speaker 04

  If we're talking about songs, but people don't know, unless you listen to this podcast specifically, you don't know Frank Stallone, Far From Over.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Well, two thirds of the room did.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  But you listen to the podcast. For the wedding guests, I'm, I'm, I don't know if they're all gonna know that one.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  It's still a banger.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  It's still a banger. Um, and I reckon you'd be able to get Frank to play if you wanted to.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  I think he'd be available.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Yep. You have to check his calendar, but he could be available. Um, well, I, this is.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Sorry, Jack, this, I know you, you're busily trying to get off the bottom rung.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  But it does seem like the second bottom rung is heavily greased and you keep slipping back to the bottom.

• 12:38Speaker 04

  We'll see, still a few to go. But it's a harding.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Okay, this is.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  Having done very well, you're actually the front runner for me to resent to Beck.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  This is more just, uh, this, I want, this plays and she doesn't appear for 10 seconds.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  And that, well, let's say five seconds. And I think that just builds excitement at the way. And then ultimately for a good time, like for a good day, she does eventually appear.

• 13:10Speaker 06

  Could we please have everyone's attention? Thank you, as we welcome the bride.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  She's still not in.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  Uh oh.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Where's Beck?

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Then she pegs her head around.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  She stayed.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  She came, she came.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  I like it.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  And I nearly.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Why is some choreography from Beck in a nervous moment?

• 13:47Speaker 03

  And then you record scratch into here comes the hot stepper.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  She comes down like dancing and like, why is she dancing a bit funny? What, has she got something kind of hidden down the back of her dress? Or maybe if it's a big, long flowing dress, what's under there? She reaches under, pulls out the pitching wedge, throws it to Horgs and goes, of course we're doing the chipping of the rings.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  And it was a sprout.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Crowd goes nuts.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Wow. Wow. That would be, that's a big day.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  That's what I would be doing if I was the wedding planner, but it sounds like you get someone else doing it.

• 14:19Speaker 04

  Jack, do you want to submit another one? I will. Can I submit one more? I've changed the lyrics to this as well.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Oh boy.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  The original. Known song. Yeah, well Barry Manilow is the original.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  He's gone all in on a, on a pair of Manilows.

• 14:40Speaker 04

  The original is Barry Manilow and this is the story of how you and Beck first met as she walks down the aisle.

• 14:48Speaker 06

  Could we please have everyone's attention? Thank you, as we welcome the bride.

• 14:59Speaker 07

  Oh Andy, you came to the cafe I worked in. And I served you that day, oh Andy. You wrote your number down on a napkin. And now it's our wedding day, oh Andy.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Interesting. It's not a no.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Did I capture it all?

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's from her perspective. Is she meant to mime along? Like, what are you?

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Or would she record it earlier?

• 15:32Speaker 02

  She can be the vocalist if she wants to.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  If not, who will be the vocalist?

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I've already made that.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  I don't know if you singing a love song to Andy as Beck is what she would want in that moment.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  There's a chance that the chipping is now looking like a good option for Beck.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  This is, chipping is like one of the best ideas we've had for the wedding. But I think, I do know that song, mostly from The Simpsons. When Homer sings about Marge, you know.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  And came and you brought me a turkey. But you did know it.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  I did know it. I knew it as a Homer Simpson song, but I assumed they got it from Barry Manilow.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  They did.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  It's, I think it's what you submitted, Ham. What's the name of that song? The Hot?

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Hot Stepper.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  I can't believe that.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Well, Jack, believe it, mate, because I think you're the bottom two.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  You can choose which song goes on which wrong, but you're the bottom two.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  Hame, plenty of people hitting us up at hamishnady.com. Go there for any of the correspondence. Fifty percent of the emails go to your side of the fence, fifty percent go to mine, so we don't know each others. But a lot of people asking to play this game.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Not as easy as it seems.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  How good are you at jumping into a conversation, filling the blank? And how good is your chat? Can you keep the conversation moving forward? The rules are simple. We will not tell you, Andy and I will have a small conversation.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  We won't tell you when it's your time to talk. Part of detecting the time to talk is.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  What you judge on.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Skill.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  You can't ask a question. You must add something to the conversation.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  The same conversation to two different people. Who would be better as a plus one at a social event? Liam joins us. Ahoi to you Liam.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Ahoi gentlemen.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Liam, what line of work are you in?

• 17:35Speaker 04

  I am in commercial sales. I work for an old team called the Dolphins. Fin's up baby.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, fins up, fins up.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  Wait, what's the team?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  The Dolphins.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, but what kind of, what kind of team? A sales team?

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Commercial sales.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  So you're getting sponsors and stuff?

• 17:53Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, so more of like the membership and ticketing. So trying to get our members on board and come along to the game. So it's.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  That's a high gusto job.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  And I missed it. What type of sport?

• 18:04Speaker 02

  So NRL.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  NRL.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  NRL, that's brutal.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  You got your work cut out, you got your work cut out getting Andy to a Dolphins game, it seems.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, you boys are more than welcome to come on, come on board. I mean, as AFL watches as I understand it, there's always room for you guys here. So you're welcome any time.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Thank you. And just, I mean, I of course know, but where are the Dolphins place? Where, where are they in the, on the ladder? And where, where would you find them training?

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Well, you find them in the southeast Queensland region.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, new team.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  We, yeah, we're currently sitting in the, in the top eight, which would be the first time since we've come into the competition. If we make the eight, so things are looking up.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  You beauty.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  All right, well done. Yes, that's certainly.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  Keep those fins up.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  You need that, a gift to the gab.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Do you want to see a dolphin with its fin down, do you? That's so sad.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  But I think they do curl them.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  Do they?

• 18:58Speaker 02

  For extra propulsion, yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  Really?

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  I think you've an elephant curling its trunk. Those grey animals who are found around water.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Thank you Liam. Your opponent today is Aaron. Ahoi to you Aaron.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  Ahoi boys, how are you?

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Very good, very good Aaron. Um, what are you, and gusto to you? What do you, um, what do you do with yourself, Aaron?

• 19:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, apologies, much gusto, much gusto everyone.

• 19:23Speaker 07

  It's great to be here. Great to be here.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Your fiance dubbed you in?

• 19:28Speaker 07

  No, no, no. So I'm a bartender. Can you guys hear me clearly?

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Maybe not, because I didn't think you said anything like that. And Andy, I think you said much gusto to everyone here. And Andy went, oh, great, your fiance dubbed you in.

• 19:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a great start. Yeah.

• 19:42Speaker 03

  It's a kind of a bad start for Andy for Chinch.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  It's like I'm the worst person having a party. Didn't hear the NRL. Thinking his fiance's dodgy you.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  This is Andy. You are way better suited to being a ref here than a player.

• 19:56Speaker 07

  Well, yeah, I'm a bartender. I'm a bartender. So.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Oh, small talk's important.

• 20:01Speaker 07

  That's basically what I do for my job. Um, I mean, great conversations, bad conversations, but I'm always there for a chat, always there for a chat.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Is it a busy bar or do you sometimes have to do that bartender thing you see in movies where it's just you and one, one, one guy coping with some bad news at work, sipping a martini and you're just trying to chat to him?

• 20:22Speaker 07

  Yeah, basically like it's a small town pub, so we get maybe 10 people downstairs.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:28Speaker 07

  It's really good. I mean, I enjoy it and people just want to have a chat. Sometimes people, yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Whereabouts? Where's the town, Aaron?

• 20:36Speaker 07

  Um, Rimbulah.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Rimbulah. Oh, yeah. Quite, quite. You'd be aware of the Dolphins then.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Not exactly dolphin territory, but not too far away.

• 20:45Speaker 07

  Well, I'm, I'm actually a Cronulla fan, so up the shark, up the shark.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Oh, Dolphin V Shark.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Not, evolutionarily, not one you'd back a dolphin in, but they can.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Dolphins are superior to sharks. Don't they use their nose to bump them in the gills?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  I don't know if they're superior.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I'm getting all, I don't think sharks can attack a dolphin.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  They can and they will, they want to. But dolphins have been known to protect humans from sharks, like to warn humans and.

• 21:11Speaker 02

  I think if there's dolphins around, you know that sharks aren't normally.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  A pack, a pack of dolphins can ward off a shark, but one V one in a cage in front of a paying audience, you're going to bet on the shark.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Every time. All right. Liam, you're going to be up first. We'll put Aaron on hold. He won't hear the starters conversation. Hopefully it goes better than what I've been dishing up in the lead up. Uh, but are you ready?

• 21:33Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Here we go. Fantastic. Good luck.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Oh, hi, Ham. Hi, mate. Uh, you realise that the FIFA World Cup starts this week? Yeah, my neighbour's going. I was gonna go, but he's not anymore.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  I really don't understand why anyone watches that. Everyone just falls over and flops all the time.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Pretty good.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Not bad.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Pretty good.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Not actually very clever because A came in, the timing was excellent. And you've set yourself up very well to slide over a Dolphins membership form.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  In case someone goes, yeah, you're right. I am looking for a, a, a, a code of football to follow. Do you know? Have any and any new teams and then you could sort them out from there. Well done. That's a man that does that work. He's got me figured out. Yep. Well done.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Or a sales opportunity.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  We'll put Liam on hold. We won't bring Aaron back. I felt like Liam was just a touch slow coming in. Was I being too critical?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Do you know what? I think he covered it though with his anger.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  Oh, so he might, it might have had a.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  It was like, he was like, he was just shaking his head like.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  A gasp.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Like he can't even believe we're talking about soccer.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  Does anyone play that sport? I mean, it's the biggest sport in the world. So it's, you're going to be.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  A uphill battle.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Are you going to be nudging things uphill with your, with your bottle nose there?

• 23:01Speaker 03

  There's enough life for everyone in the football world.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Yes. All right. Let's bring Aaron up. Aaron, uh, Ahoi, are you there?

• 23:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Yeah, sorry about that.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  Liam has.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  No, no, we put you on hold.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  You didn't mute us.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  A bad start, Aaron, but we weren't judging you. We weren't judging you in that conversation just then. Liam has submitted his performance in Chit Chat Champions. Are you ready to go?

• 23:28Speaker 04

  I'm so keen. I'm so confident. I'm so confident. Now that I say that, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. No, it'll go well. It'll go well.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Okay, George, we're seeing a nervous person on the blocks. Here we go.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Oh, hey, Ham.

• 23:43Speaker 03

  Oh, good day, mate.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Oh, the FIFA World Cup has just started this week.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  My neighbour's going. Actually, he was gonna go. He can't anymore.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think the World Cup's such an amazing sport. It's an amazing competition. It just brings the whole world together. And if you got the chance to go, definitely, but if you can't, watch on TV. It's a great event.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Aaron, first of all, how did you feel your win?

• 24:13Speaker 04

  Um, I was a bit shaky to start. I almost started on my words. So yeah, that was a bit scary, but yeah.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  No, that's gonna have, I feel like you took the pre-game nerves into the game.

• 24:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, definitely.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  But you played with an exciting energy. You did. If we bring Liam back to it. Look, Aaron, for me and Hame, I don't want to speak about both of us. Aaron, you represent someone that just wasn't willing to take a position on a topic. I think that's what let me down. Go if you can, stay home if you want. At the end of the day, how goods everything, unless it isn't, in which case, your choice.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  Hey, is that mini sausage rolls? I'll be back in a sec.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  So you have to give the win to Liam. He's got it. Liam, a token of no value is coming your way. Congratulations, bud. And of course, more people know about the Dolphins. Well done. Fin's up unless they're killed for propulsion. Fin's up also for the sharks.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  Well done, boys. Very fun addition. See you, guys.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  Gentlemen, we are now one week since opening the investigation into the sport that we knew as bat tennis in Victoria, but by which goes, which went by a lot of other names. Scientists carbon date the sport to about the mid 90s to the mid thousands. That's what we believe. Pickleball? Well, no, for bat tennis. Bat tennis. But we now are in an era where, as of a couple of years ago, the sport of pickleball has become huge in America and is sweeping Australia. It's the little brother of paddle, padel, but you're obviously not played on the glass ball court. Yep. And it's a billion dollar plus industry in the States and.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  As Victorian boys, we grew up playing this sport called bat tennis on Ashvelt, the pitchman outside at the school, four square court, slightly extended, wooden plank and a custom made V, like sort of V fork holder.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, like a stirrup. There was, yeah, like a stirrup.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Someone was supplying the infrastructure.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, so like, it wasn't like just, you know, two teachers went, hey, this will be cool and just put something up. It was a sport you could get manufactured.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  It wasn't like brandy.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Equipment.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  We just like, we have a tennis ball and we're just going to throw it at people's heads. This was a thing that someone must have filled out an order form for to have, because I think different schools had the same plank of wood that was like at knee height for an adult.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  We remember. Anyway.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Did you ever play it at high school?

• 26:48Speaker 03

  No. There's no evidence in the emails that have come in of high school variants. It just seemed to be a primary school only sport. And that might have been the problem because essentially we're looking at this going, hang on a sec, pickleball now is, I'm just going to make up a figure here, 4.8 billion dollar industry.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  And it seems that the primary schools of, we thought Victoria, but we're willing to admit now, Australia at large and New Zealand, primary schools had a chance to own this global industry.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  And we fumbled it.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  I mean, one of the ones came in from my side of things, I'm sure you had so many ham and I know you're the one really conducting this investigation.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  No, but welcome, it's a crowdsourced investigation.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Different names for it.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  So many different names.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  What name did you get out of Auckland? Did you have one there?

• 27:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, Padda.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, Padda Tennis.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  E A D D E R, Padda.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  It seems, Padda seems weird.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Padda.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Padda Tennis.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Hitter. I'm just trying to think, you do it with the accent. No, it's good for the accent. This came in from David. He goes, look, around about year six, like that was huge, said it sounds very similar to bat tennis. And he said even for one year, he was given a plastic Padda tennis bat, which had a sweet spot on it.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the one.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Labelled with a sweet spot. So you just knew, if you're the opponent and you know, it was an important point and time slowed down and you saw that thing bounce out of the sweet spot, you had no hope. If David loses at the other end and he's sweet spotted one, you're a goner.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Did you have, from New South Wales?

• 28:18Speaker 02

  It felt like the eighties, it was definitely being played.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  They called it, and I think there's a few coming in from New South Wales, they called it paddle bats.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, didn't have paddle bats, I had spary.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Or sfary, cause it was sphere, some, someone, I thought they were making a joke like, well, not a joke, a serious statement like small ball golf. That we're like, we called it sphere ball tennis. But I think they missed, cause I got a few other people going, no, it was called sfary or spary.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  This is the one I wanted to bring up.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Sfary.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Sfary, yep.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  It derived, it was in nineteen sixty one in Australia, derived from the Greek word for ball being sphere.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  As far a or something. So I just got an email from Russell that just said, that tennis, dot, dot, dot, look up sfary.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Okay, well, that's where, I think that was a New South Wales thing.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  A New South Wales thing. So I did, I asked AI, um, tell me about sfary, and this is what they came back with.

• 29:22Speaker 00

  Sfary is a little known Australian racket sport that's often described as a cross between tennis and table tennis. It's played on a small court using a low net with oversized plastic bats or paddles using a light perforated plastic ball.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  So then I asked it again.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  The introduction, that's the interesting part because there seem to be sfary balls, which resemble pickleball balls. We played with a tennis ball.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  We played with tennis ball.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  That tennis, you played with a tennis ball.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  They have the perforated ball. So then I went and asked AI, what is the difference?

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Isn't that just pickleball?

• 29:55Speaker 02

  What is the difference between pickleball and sfary?

• 29:59Speaker 00

  There are none.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  And I went, really?

• 30:02Speaker 03

  And that's the, and that is the most powerful computer in the world.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  And then, then she said, actually, the, the courts are slightly bigger in pickleball, but that's only because adults are in them.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Yep. Like if. If we'd have hung in there through year eight, nine, 10, oh, you're growing up, we've got to expand this sfary court. Eleven, twelve, you're a man now, Jack, you can't play in a children's sfary court. We would have got there. So we had the guts to stick with it.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  I did the maths on how high a primary school, how big a primary school kid is and how big the court is.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  It's directionally proportional with how big a pickleball court is and the average height of a human mate, a human adult.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  If we'd have just stuck in there.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  So we could have just stuck in there.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Look, I got a very interesting note from someone who.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Doesn't wanna be named for obvious reasons, because they don't wanna get big tennis offside.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  You probably don't wanna get big tennis offside.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Being a friend of the Australian Open.

• 30:55Speaker 04

  That's true, that's true. Although, I'm not gonna let them hold me back, Ham. If we've got something to uncover here, I'm all in with you guys.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  This comes in from, I won't say his full name, or even the, even all of his first name.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Lu.

• 31:12Speaker 04

  Luke?

• 31:13Speaker 03

  No, it's good. It could be Lewis, could be Luke. There's a bit of confusion.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  He goes, "Look, in relation to bat tennis, grew up in the northern suburbs of Melbourne, in the late 2000s, we had bat tennis as our inter-school sport."

• 31:26Speaker 04

  Into schools?

• 31:27Speaker 03

  I played into school bat tennis.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's the way.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Really?

• 31:30Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 31:31Speaker 04

  And then our, the wooden plank that made up the net was painted in our primary school colours.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  To put them off.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  Well, just no, for a home court advantage. Or the, the schools that we played at did the same thing.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  What was your primary school?

• 31:43Speaker 04

  Red, uh, yellow and blue.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  No, but the name is?

• 31:46Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry, Althing, Althington Primary School. Althington Primary.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Okay. But then, so the other schools would go, oh, I mean.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Blue and yellow.

• 31:54Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm in the Colosseum here. I don't, I've lost my normal rhythm. Um, so Lu goes, "Look," he's now a primary school PE teacher. Okay, so he's, you would, he probably got into it going, "Can't wait to show the kids bat tennis." Was probably floored when he got there and realised there was none. Said, "Hotshots tennis killed off bat tennis."

• 32:17Speaker 04

  And hotshots is like Auskick, isn't it?

• 32:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. And they have, and because hotshots is run by the Australian Open, I think, or Tennis Australia. I think just tennis.com.au. I'd looked into it. "I don't want anyone playing with small plastic bats."

• 32:32Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 32:33Speaker 03

  They want them straight on the big rackets.

• 32:35Speaker 04

  Well, then, there, there's a smaller, bigger racket.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they want, mate, I know. I've seen kids play hotshots tennis, but it is got strings. It's a stringed instrument. So they saw the bat, they saw the power that the bat had over kids and went, "This is killing them for their transition to strings. We want everyone working on strings early." Hotshots is for ages three to 12, and through a series, I think they get grants and stuff like that. So they just came and dank, big tennis, came and pushed out bat tennis.

• 33:02Speaker 04

  Idiot. Well, do you think they bought up all the equipment?

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Because where is it? I'm willing to. Reminiscent of when books went on big bonfires. Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Jack, in, in, to echo the words of my mother-in-law, who doesn't mind going down a Facebook rabbit hole. I wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised if you go at the back of Tennis Australia and there is a pile of bat tennis planks doused in petrol right now with a match being inflicted and as they scream, they're on to us, they're on to us.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  And then, and then the hot shots ball.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  It's, it's a tennis ball, but it's less, it's lower bounce.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  No, it's, it's a bigger tennis ball.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. And they, but they, I think you go through colours, you go through grades where it's like, you're on a blue ball now. So you're nearly at the right level of bounce.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  It's a, it's a, it's a bigger tennis ball.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  The whole thing was, the whole thing was a scheme to get them off the bats. To get them into the stringed world.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  That is. It puts you in an awkward position, Andy. I'm not going to do the A O next year. Thank you.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Will you do our bat tennis open at the same time? Will we run the Hamish and Andy bat tennis open to try?

• 34:04Speaker 02

  I might still do it.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. Hid it's in January, we're on the, be on the government mandate brace. But hang on, did you say you might still do this?

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Well, that didn't last long. We, we announced a tournament, cancelled one and Andy went back to the enemy.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  I have a melodic mystery for you guys that I need to solve. It reminds me of when Hame came in with the drum beat. Remember he drummed, he drummed for us?

• 34:36Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  And then he said, what song am I doing? I can't remember what it was. And we all said, well, that's that song. He said, no, it's not that, it's not that. And everyone listening went, oh, I know. And they gave suggestions. This may happen again, or you guys might just get it.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  It was amazing. It was actually an amazing feeling to get that solved for me.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  And we've got A I in these things these days. I've tried to find out the answer to this melodic mystery and we couldn't, couldn't do it. So I was at home in the kitchen getting, uh, Henry's meal ready. Bec walked in with a pile of washing. I saw her and I went on to sing. Here she comes, boys. Housewife number one, boys. Hear her roar. Look out, watch out. Here comes Roseanne. And Beck goes, what are you doing? I said, I'm doing the theme song from Roseanne.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Yep, Roseanne buzz, sitcom.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  And she said, I don't think, I'm young, but I don't think that was it. And then we.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  I remember the, the theme song from Roseanne was just harmonica.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  That's exactly what it is.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it didn't have words.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  It doesn't have words. So then I was like, oh, there must have been. It must have been. Like, sometimes TV shows have more than one theme song. Like, didn't Ray Romano have a different one and then it changed? The deep dive I went on to try to, I've typed in, here she comes, boys. Housewife number one, boys. Hear her roar. Look out, watch out. Here comes Roseanne. It doesn't come up. No, I haven't invented it. Did any of you guys know?

• 36:09Speaker 03

  I'm like, amazing, amazing live musical invention, if you did.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  Yes. So if you're lost and you're also lost, Jack. Hmm. Can we, can I just leave that for the listeners?

• 36:22Speaker 03

  It would be crazy for me to say that rings a bell.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Does it ring a bell?

• 36:26Speaker 03

  There is the faintest something going on there.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  The lyrics don't ring a bell, but that da da, da da.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Here comes Roseanne. I knew you were gonna say, here comes Roseanne. So that's, that's why I'm like, all right, what is that? Is it possible? It was a Channel 10 promo? Cause sometimes Channel 10 kind of did their own start of the year.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Promos. So it was like they, their promo department like was showcasing all the shows that were coming up that, that year. We would be talking like late nineties for sure. And so it was, it was like an internal thing that, that someone had written. Cause maybe it was in an Australian accent.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  That is impossible.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Entirely possible. And you're remembering it from that summer? So as you're watching.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  It was Roseanne was the, it was alongside the Simpsons, wasn't it? It was Roseanne every single night stripped. I think Channel 10 had Seinfeld for a while and they went Roseanne for a while.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Can't say it did, it did a regular Roseanne.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  We weren't doing regular Roseanne.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  No, not like you're doing everybody, like regular Ramones or, you know, Seinfeld, Simpsons was the heyday of.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Yes, it was.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Appointment viewing.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  That, that era went Simpsons into Neighbours, didn't it?

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was really annoying. No, it was Simpsons at six o'clock, Neighbours.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  What?

• 37:41Speaker 03

  That was dinner time for us. Then, yeah, I got half an hour to do something, then boom, back. Seinfeld at seven. And if you're lucky, if you remember Tuesday, Wednesday, New Simpsons at seven thirty.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, it just really is.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Thank God for the Neighbours breather. Nothing gets Neighbours, Annie and I have appeared on it, but I'm just saying back then it wasn't what we were chasing.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  It's out there. Hit us up if you know what I'm thinking.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  Gentlemen, came up with a, well, I came with a thought the other day. I was sitting on an aeroplane and there's a long, long, long way back from the cockpit, but I was able to just squint and see.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  I doubt that, Jack.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  Squint, squint. And I saw the pilots going through the checks.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Pre-flight checks. And I was actually really impressed. You know, when you see the, um, the air, like the stewards, the service people as well, hostesses, hosties. You know, they do cross, uh, doors and cross-check. They're so, they never go.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  We know.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  We know what we're doing.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  They always say it out loud. I'm like, they're always very professional about it. And same with the pilots. Like, you know, look at these people and they're like, two pilots are always, you know, I mean, they're, they're in their fifties and they would have been doing this for like thousands of times.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  And they're often looking at a laminated sheet.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Laminated sheet, saying it to each other.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Each other because I guess the risk is so high that it's worth just double checking.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  Well, I read somewhere, then separately, I remember learning this fact that there was no such thing as a pre-flight check until like the fifties.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Cause they did what we're saying. They just went, oh, it's insulting. Like pilots know what they're doing.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  And then someone was like, well, sometimes some like avoidable things happen. And if you formalize it, yes, it's a little bit boring.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Nice to go through. Anyway, gave me an idea for a game.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  This is called the checklist game. Okay. You've each got thirty seconds. I've gone online and got the ten main things that you're meant to check before takeoff.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Oh, in a, oh, right.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  So this is the ten major pre-flight steps that you're meant to do as pilots. You've got thirty seconds. I want you to write them down, one to ten in order.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Go.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  In order?

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Go.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  What do you have to do if you're a pilot?

• 40:07Speaker 03

  Thinking is here.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  I will give the, remember you've got 30 seconds to any blank answers. You might even just have one word per bit.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  I'll have to give the win to the person that's most accurately written down the most pilot-like.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Now, on a plane, they don't.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  And they got to seven.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  All right, on a plane, they don't do it.

• 40:36Speaker 04

  I got to seven as well.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  On a plane, they don't do it to time. Okay.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  I'll go one by one. What did you have for your first one, Jack?

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Wings.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  What does that mean?

• 40:47Speaker 04

  Are they there? Do they look like they could hold us up?

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Andy?

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Mine was not, my number one wasn't wings, but I've got that in there. Do you want me to?

• 40:55Speaker 03

  What was your number one?

• 40:56Speaker 02

  Mine was pressurized, like it seals.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  I don't think you do that till you take off, do you?

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Right, but you need to know it would seal.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  You can't be up there and go. Number one, so far I'm gonna give.

• 41:04Speaker 04

  No, it's not.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  Check the weather.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  Check the weather.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Really?

• 41:08Speaker 04

  Why?

• 41:11Speaker 04

  But it's like, make sure your plane's fit to fly first and then check the weather. Why start there if you don't have a roof on your plane?

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Exactly. Can't, I'm just going off what the interview said. Okay, number two.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Well, that was, I did wing flaps.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Like the, you know, when you see them going, mm, mm.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  Engine.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Have you just listed parts of the plane?

• 41:33Speaker 04

  Like, is it working?

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Okay, officially, two is plan the route. Okay, they should know that again.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  I thought that was handed to you, like, oh, you're going Melbourne to Sydney.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  You don't get to get in the seat and go, all right. I think they do. Which way do you think we should go? Sydney, Melbourne, south, I reckon. Yeah. I think, but you do get to plan the route a little bit as a pilot. Really? Well, don't you, they go, I think that's why they tell you. Like when you're on Google Maps and they go, you can do option one, option two, but option three has tolls. Guys, yeah, we're not gonna do the tolls because we're Jetstar. Uh, okay, three, what'd you give three?

• 42:09Speaker 02

  Tail flaps.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  Windscreen.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  You have just. Now, if you're gonna play this game, Jack, that should be number one because why would you go, got wings? Yeah, got an engine.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  Like, check for cracks, that sort of thing.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Check for cracks?

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Okay, I mean. Officially, you're meant to look for, um, like you're meant to look at airspace restrictions.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Like checking for closures.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Not a lot of stuff inside the craft.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  No, I thought, I actually thought a lot of it was like, look around the aircraft and see what's working.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, that does happen, but I think this is so far, we haven't even got to inspect the aircraft. Number four.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  Petrol, make sure you're filled up.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  Got it. Calculate fuel needed.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  Well done.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Got it. Andy, the instinctive pilot. Ding ding ding.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  I mean, I was, I was well off with it. I hadn't mapped my route out.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  You had it. Should you choose to, you would know how to get there. What did you have, Jack? What part of the plane?

• 43:08Speaker 04

  Thruster.

• 43:11Speaker 04

  Is it, is it working? Yeah, yeah.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Dot, dot, dot. All yours is just parts of the plane. Dot, dot, dot. Is it working? Tick yes or no? Yes, is it 100 points? No, is zero. You must have 100 points to go. Um, number five.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Jack?

• 43:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, now I was getting desperate because I could feel the time ticking down. I just wrote buttons.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  What? A checklist? With love.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Are they, are they like lighting up and stuff? Cause obviously there's so many in the cockpit.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  Check them.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Check your button.

• 43:42Speaker 04

  Tick your buttons.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  What did you have, Ando?

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Wheels pumped up. Wheel pressure.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  I'll give it to you because vaguely related, weight and balance of the plane.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  So just making sure that everything's like balanced, center of gravity.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Nice to be 2-0.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Um, six.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Six. I definitely started, um, seat belts. Check your seat belts.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  Yep, Jack.

• 44:09Speaker 04

  Doors.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  Yep. Um, this is content, you know, air traffic control. Start talking to air traffic control. Make sure the routes call with them, cause they're, um.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, we didn't do a lot of external stuff.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  No, I didn't.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  It's like going bush. Gotta let someone know.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  If you're gonna take off, you gotta let the authorities know.

• 44:24Speaker 04

  There's no way I'm getting a point on the last one.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Uh, seven.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  Jack?

• 44:28Speaker 04

  Co-pilot. Are they there?

• 44:32Speaker 03

  Who are you doing the list with?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Um, no.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  I, this, I think this is wrong as well, but I went snacks and meals.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Because just thinking about when you and I drive anywhere.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, more of a car thing.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  It's like, you can't stop at the servo.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  No, we want to make good time. We can't stop on the way. We're not landing in Aubrey to get chips.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  Not even going through a flight through McDonald's.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  Funny enough, seven was all of Jack's list.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Inspect the aircraft exterior. So walk around the aircraft, you know, wings, control surfaces, propeller engine, intakes, lights, fuel caps, you know, general condition.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  So I got a seven pointer on the last one.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  Think so. And then eight is check oils and fluids.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Which would be probably buttons, Jack. You assume some of the buttons would go to that. Prepare the cockpit, maybe co-pilot lives in there. That's number nine.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  And seat belts.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  And then start up and run the engine and do all your pre-flight checks from there. Lot to do.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  That's thruster.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  I would, if we have any pilots, I know we do have a lot of pilots. If you are flying with someone that you don't think is a listener of the pod. Yeah. Take Jack's checklist on just for one pre-flight. But they hate jokes. It's like the number one thing they can't do. They can't do any.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  You're allowed to do one.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  What, one in a career? I don't think they hate jokes because I was, I landed in America. And as I was getting off the plane, the pilot exited the, um. Cockpit. The cockpit. And he went, and he undid his shirt.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, is this the Mr. Ralph one?

• 46:16Speaker 02

  And opened up his shirt. I'm like, what's he about to expose his nipple to my wing? And he had, I will not mention Mr. Ralph shirt underneath. That is amazing. Yeah. So.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  They love jokes.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  They love, some of them love jokes.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Some of them love jokes. I mean, you obviously then do the real checklist. I'm not saying don't do the real checklist. I'm saying bring yours on.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  What was your checklist again?

• 46:36Speaker 02

  Wings, engine, windscreen, thrusters.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Cause I think they meet each other often. They're like, oh, I'm the captain and the co-pilot.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  If you can, if someone can record this for, I mean, this is a big ask, but if someone can hit record on a voice memo on their phone and sit down with their co-pilot and go, okay, let's go through this.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  Wings.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Wings.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Buttons.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Thrusters.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Buttons. Doors. There's only seven. Here we go. Second last one.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  We would love to.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.