Pod Insights Hamish & Andy 2025 Ep 303 - Where does Andy sit on the ‘cool’ ranking? About this episode Hamish presents a new game to Andy which is sure to ruffle some feathers! There’s a very rare Chit Chat Champion result, and the Tallest Hat chat has triggered a childhood memory for Hame. Andy is testing the ‘honesty system’ for the work office kiosk, and Hamish thinks he’s finally found a skill to impress his wife…spoiler: keep trying Hame!
1. Who is Andy Lee cooler than?
2. Chat chat champion - golf chat
3. Tall hat update - Hamish has done this before
4. Ice skating
5. Stealing from the office kiosk
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 A Listener Production.
0:07 Speaker 01 Activate your internet because the Hay Mission Andy Podcast starts in three, two.
0:17 Speaker 01 Sorry, still buffering. One.
0:23 Speaker 02 Ahoy to me mwimwa, Haim.
0:26 Speaker 03 Hmm, hello. Where there's a mwimwa, there's a waila.
0:31 Speaker 02 Um, ahoy to me meanie.
0:33 Speaker 03 Jack.
0:34 Speaker 04 Ahoy, I wouldn't call myself a meanie, I'm a goodie.
0:39 Speaker 03 If I do say so myself.
0:41 Speaker 02 And I'm gonna do.
0:44 Speaker 02 Haim, I thought was the best chance to get this.
0:48 Speaker 02 There's a famous three in New South Wales.
0:51 Speaker 03 Oh, they're the three sisters.
0:53 Speaker 02 He's got it.
0:54 Speaker 03 Rock formation.
0:55 Speaker 02 Yes. Well done, Haim, yes, the three sisters.
0:57 Speaker 03 I was going to say that earlier, but you cut me off.
1:00 Speaker 02 The three sisters in the Blue Mountains, the three rock formations. Um, lovely place to visit, unsponsored.
1:08 Speaker 03 I mean, I don't see them every day living in Sydney, but it's good to know that those beautiful girls are out there.
1:14 Speaker 02 Ahoy also to Cameron in Manchester, UK, who went to haymissioned.com to let us know what he's been doing.
1:22 Speaker 05 Ahoy, boys, and number six, this is Cam from Cornwall in the UK. I just wanted to start this episode off with a bit of an upset, Andy. I have three separate cards to pay for things. One is my savings, one is my account that I use regularly, and my other is my credit card. Instead of going through the tedious process of pulling an individual card out of my wallet, I instead just hold my wallet up to the card reader and just let fate decide which card is going to be charged on. And then I just wait for the notification on my phone to see which one it is. But I love the pod, boys, so keep up, have a good one.
2:00 Speaker 03 You can't argue with the card gods.
2:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:02 Speaker 03 Whatever they choose, so shall be the charge.
2:05 Speaker 04 I would be, I wouldn't like the risk of what if I accidentally like double dipped and went on multiple cards.
2:10 Speaker 03 Mate, I'm at the stage now where I originally set up, I was like, I'm going to have one credit card for credit card stuff. I'm going to have another one for like tax deductible expenses and business stuff.
2:21 Speaker 03 And that, that system, I said that four years ago.
2:24 Speaker 02 I remember you telling me. I mean, I'm really proud of myself, he rang me.
2:28 Speaker 03 It lasted, it lasted about two weeks before the first instance came where it's like, oh, I didn't have it. Or I missed, accidentally like used one for the other. And then I think on my browser, the tax deductible information was pre-filled, like was saved in the browser and the other one wasn't. And I couldn't be bothered remembering the other ones. So I was like, ah, just checking on the tax deductible one. And then so suddenly you know that that's not tax deductible anymore, that whole statement. The pool's just cross contaminated so fast.
2:58 Speaker 02 Cause this happened, Jack, cause hey, Ragman goes to me, do you keep, are you keeping receipts? Like, yeah, like, you know, like I'll file them away and he's like, oh, that's. I would never.
3:10 Speaker 03 Cannot believe Andy keeps receipts.
3:12 Speaker 02 And he said, the accountant told me that if I'm really strict and I put it just on one card, we can actually go off a bank statement if I don't cross pollinate.
3:20 Speaker 03 It's like when you have on the table, um, you've got sale cream and seltzer and avocado. You're okay. Everyone be really careful dipping here, like.
3:30 Speaker 03 Within two corn chips, everything's in everything else. And that is what happened with my credit card.
3:37 Speaker 02 Hey, speaking of cool things I've done, let's, I actually wanted to start today with a little bit of a test. I'm going to do it on you, Ando, but maybe in future weeks, we can do it on each other.
3:46 Speaker 03 Oh, good.
3:47 Speaker 02 But I think it's just a one man test.
3:49 Speaker 03 Okay.
3:50 Speaker 02 I don't know why I was thinking about this, but I thought, like, someone was talking about, I think I must have seen something online, like it was like a list of the top 10 coolest celebs or something like that.
4:00 Speaker 03 Okay.
4:00 Speaker 02 And I was like, how, who's picking cool?
4:04 Speaker 03 Like, there's a lot, there's a lot of ways you would define cool. Like, there's a lot of like categories and.
4:10 Speaker 02 It was easier back in the day as well, because we were, we only, there was, we couldn't go other places to find them. So like, they've all got their own niche now, so they're probably cool in their own way. But back in the day, it was just like, Tom Cruise has got sunglasses on, Brad Pitt's also below that.
4:26 Speaker 03 Mate, he's flying, he's flying a fighter plane. He's cool.
4:28 Speaker 02 He's cool. Yeah.
4:30 Speaker 03 Here's what I would like to know, Ando. Where do you sit on the cool rankings? Oh gosh.
4:36 Speaker 02 Worldwide?
4:38 Speaker 03 No, no, I've got a list here of, of famous male people. And you simply have to answer honestly. Yeah. And I'd like your honest opinion. Are you cooler than them or not? Okay. And we should have a ranking system here of where you would sit, self-selected, on the list. Yep.
4:58 Speaker 03 You versus Karl Stefanovic. I'm cooler than Karl.
5:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:01 Speaker 03 I think that's softball, just to get your iron.
5:06 Speaker 03 Prince William. Oh, yeah, cool. Prince William, he's a fair dog. Cooler than Prince William? Yeah, he's a fair stoddy dog.
5:15 Speaker 03 Okay, well, this is to clarify, I'm not trying to start any feuds, but just, you don't need to throw eggs at me. He looks like a lovely guy. I'd like to hang with him, have a beer with him. But do you think he's cooler than the next in line? What about when he becomes the king?
5:27 Speaker 02 No, that's powerful, but it's not, it's not cool necessarily.
5:31 Speaker 03 King Charles isn't cool, is he? Yeah, fair enough. But when William, let's say William became king this year. Charles went, you know what? I'm sick of this. You have it.
5:39 Speaker 02 He has to do cooler things. You can't just go, oh, you're the king. I mean, it's the same about most billionaires. You can't, you've got lots of money, but you can't buy cool.
5:48 Speaker 03 I actually think if he was made king this year, he, he gets less cool. And you would go, oh, well, he was, he was cooler when he was prince. Would you think you're cooler than the King Jack?
5:57 Speaker 02 That's stoddy dog, of course.
6:00 Speaker 03 I mean, this is, this is treason.
6:05 Speaker 03 This is called treason. No, all right, fair enough. I mean, one day we want to be on the same coin as him, so. True. So we should be the one man, the one man that can cut down the dream. Next person, Will Anderson. Oh, yeah, I'm cooler than Will. Okay, why? Oh, he would, at a, at a point in time, Will was, but he's, he's getting back problems, can't even, he's lost his walk, he's lost his cool walk, hasn't he?
6:31 Speaker 02 Was he known for a cool walk, was he?
6:32 Speaker 03 Well, he would have been cooler than he is now, because he's stiff. So you're, you're more like a mor- Like an overall, like he's a, he's a layman parlor on the, on the Serengeti.
6:43 Speaker 02 He's on the ABC, which is like, not to say it's uncool.
6:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, you're on the ABC. Your car owns on the ABC. You do multiple voices on that show.
6:50 Speaker 03 He literally just had his show launched on the ABC.
6:55 Speaker 02 Just saying, not the, the audience there. I mean, my audience is like eight, five to eight year olds. They don't watch the show, but, but the average audience for nighttime viewing is like 50 plus, which you wouldn't, generally anyone over 50, it's tough to be cool. He'd probably, he'd probably be over 50, wouldn't he?
7:15 Speaker 03 I mean, he's war, cause like 80.
7:19 Speaker 03 Can't say I've noticed his gait. Okay. No, interesting. This is all, no wrong answers. Um, Nick Kyrgios.
7:25 Speaker 02 Nah, he's cooler than me for sure. Yeah.
7:28 Speaker 03 What do you think, Jake?
7:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's a hard one to pick.
7:31 Speaker 02 He's a pest.
7:32 Speaker 04 He's, he's actually traded in.
7:35 Speaker 03 Don't get me wrong. I'm not giving out compliments in front of you. He might be above me on the ladder, but I'll, I can get him.
7:41 Speaker 02 But I think what makes him so cool is he doesn't give.
7:44 Speaker 04 Yeah. I think he's actually traded in being better at tennis for being cool. Because he doesn't, he doesn't get.
7:51 Speaker 02 He'd prefer to be cool than good at tennis.
7:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, right. Okay. So tough one. Okay. So he's currently at the top of the list. Currently it's him, then you.
7:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:59 Speaker 03 Bob Irwin.
8:00 Speaker 02 Oh.
8:01 Speaker 03 Robert Irwin.
8:02 Speaker 02 Nah, I'm cooler than Bob. Bob's, Bob is a legend, don't get me wrong. And he does cool stuff.
8:10 Speaker 03 I feel like he got cooler in the, you know, the photo shoot.
8:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, but, but he does a lot of ads as well. And as a weasel, I, I don't disrespect that.
8:18 Speaker 03 Nothing wrong with doing ads. There's a cause close to your heart, like Hubble Television.
8:23 Speaker 02 Exactly.
8:23 Speaker 03 Step up and you do it.
8:25 Speaker 02 But I don't think he would think he's cool.
8:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, true. Fair enough. Got him on that one.
8:30 Speaker 02 He needs, you know what he needs. He need like.
8:33 Speaker 03 A scandal?
8:34 Speaker 02 No, a scandal would help him be cooler, but also a, a part, like Beck just buys everything that I wear. Not saying what I wear is cool, but like, if I didn't have Beck, I would be so many rungs below.
8:46 Speaker 03 Yep.
8:47 Speaker 02 Um, not saying I'm high. Yeah.
8:49 Speaker 04 Osha.
8:51 Speaker 03 Mmm.
8:52 Speaker 02 Way cooler than Osha.
8:53 Speaker 04 How come?
8:54 Speaker 02 I must have tinkered with my name to try and find some coolness.
8:59 Speaker 03 Okay. You've done well.
9:02 Speaker 02 You've done very well.
9:04 Speaker 03 You've actually done very well. Only Nick Curios has beat you so much. Daniel Ricciardo.
9:09 Speaker 02 Nah, he's cooler than me.
9:10 Speaker 03 Okay.
9:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:11 Speaker 03 How come?
9:12 Speaker 02 Well, he's one of the best Formula One drivers in the world. He does like backflips of yachts in Monaco and he's seen doing shoeies. Yeah, yeah, I can't beat that. Could you get, but could you get ahead of him now that his career is in the twilight? Oh, it'd be tough. It's a tough road back. I mean, they've come back to us both in our seventies, but I still think he's just that guy. He's just like, he's always got swagger.
9:35 Speaker 03 He's on the edge. He's living on the edge.
9:36 Speaker 02 He did. Like, would you put him above Curios? Is he?
9:39 Speaker 03 Probably would. I think I would put Ricciardo at the top.
9:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. They're nodding up there.
9:44 Speaker 03 Yeah. But Andy, you still took out the third spot.
9:48 Speaker 02 Was that it? Give us, give us one more, even just off the top of your head.
9:51 Speaker 03 Um, Conrad Saul.
9:55 Speaker 02 A tough one. Tough one. Hmm. I think Conrad's got me.
10:01 Speaker 03 Okay, but he will hear this and he'll note the pause. He will note the pause as he did all the maths.
10:08 Speaker 02 What I think you could do for a lot of this is line up everybody.
10:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:13 Speaker 02 And give them kind of round sunglasses with a different colour lens, like blue. And so put them on and they're like, oh yeah, Daniel Ricciardo can, can wear them. Pull that off.
10:24 Speaker 03 From my understanding, even though it was about 18 years ago, isn't that basically what they did? When you won clear bachelor of the year and you had to do the photo shoot around the pool? Basically lined everyone up in order of coolness.
10:35 Speaker 02 They pretty much did. Yeah, I was the only one that left my shirt on for sure.
10:41 Speaker 02 I was feeling pretty cold, not cool.
10:49 Speaker 02 Hey, we love playing a game to test people on their social skills, whether they be the perfect plus one at a gathering or a family party because they can hold conversation. It's Chit Chat Champions.
11:09 Speaker 03 It's the game everyone listening thinks they can play, but when you get on, when you get in front of the bright lights, it can change. The head noise can be deafening.
11:18 Speaker 02 Yes.
11:19 Speaker 03 Tough one. The rules are pretty simple, Andy, and I will start a conversation. We will not indicate to you when it's your turn to talk. That's part of the skill. You have to gauge correctly the moment to come in. Can't ask a question. That's too easy. You're just going to go straight in with what you think the next interesting piece of the conversation would and should be.
11:40 Speaker 02 Our first player today is Kat. Ahoy, Kat.
11:43 Speaker 06 Ahoy, boys. How's it going?
11:45 Speaker 02 Good. What line of work are you in? We'd like a little bit of backstory to see how you would go normally with chit chat.
11:51 Speaker 06 Well, look, I'm a teacher of like early high school kids, so not renowned conversationalist, but.
11:58 Speaker 03 That's tough. Maybe that sharpens, that sharpens the skill. You're playing against hard players.
12:04 Speaker 06 It does. I will, I will caveat that by saying though, I have been on maternity leave for the last two years. So conversation's been fairly limited to toddler chat. So this will be a good test.
12:15 Speaker 02 Okay.
12:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay. So, okay, try not to ask Andy if he wants his sippy cup. Unless you think that is the right spot. If it is a question, it is a question. So it will be grand.
12:28 Speaker 02 Addy, ahoy to you.
12:30 Speaker 07 Ahoy, boys and happy birthday, Andy.
12:31 Speaker 02 Don't actually celebrate them, but Addy, what do you do?
12:35 Speaker 07 I'm actually studying primary education at the moment, so I'm quite delighted to cut in that I need to know conversation skills for kids and stuff.
12:43 Speaker 02 Awesome. And the parents that come in and go, you know, why is my kid a bit of a shit?
12:48 Speaker 07 Yeah.
12:48 Speaker 02 Is it us or is it you?
12:49 Speaker 03 I was going to ask you the same thing.
12:51 Speaker 07 It's mostly them.
12:54 Speaker 02 Let's put them both on hold for a second, Jack, because we want to bring everybody up to speed on what we're doing. Hey, what was your beautiful suggestion? We thought we'd up the stakes today.
13:03 Speaker 03 I mean, jumping in on a conversation that's interesting is one thing. Jumping in on a conversation that we're banging on will be quite boring is another thing. A lot of the off air chat in here, and we really do try to keep it off air, relates to golf. And we thought, well, we've never, we've never bought one on air.
13:21 Speaker 02 Yes.
13:22 Speaker 03 We've never done it in Chit Chat Champion before. My wife. Visibly shuts down if I talk about golf. Like, she heard both her eyes turn into the Mac spinning wheel. Like, she just freezes. She cannot even pretend to be vaguely interested. So is that the ultimate test? We thought perhaps it is.
13:40 Speaker 02 Hmm, it'll be a golf related chit chat, Champions today. Kat, she can go first. Kat, are you there?
13:47 Speaker 06 Yep.
13:48 Speaker 02 Are you ready?
13:49 Speaker 06 I'm ready as I can be.
13:50 Speaker 02 Okay, good luck.
13:52 Speaker 06 Thanks.
13:55 Speaker 02 Hey, Ando. Bit of a funny one. I was, I was actually thinking of completely changing my putting stroke in golf.
14:04 Speaker 03 I changed to a mallet putter just recently.
14:07 Speaker 06 Do you know what? I wouldn't know the first thing about golf. I'd have to talk to my husband, who is known to me, spending quite a few hours on the golf course each weekend. But I'd be interested in taking it up. I hear it's wonderful exercise.
14:22 Speaker 03 Well done. Well done. Pretty good. I don't know who said it's wonderful exercise. That is by the by.
14:33 Speaker 02 Kat, when you heard it was golf, did you panic?
14:38 Speaker 06 I panicked. The heart sank.
14:41 Speaker 02 But then you decided to play it real, that you didn't know about it.
14:44 Speaker 03 You went honest.
14:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:45 Speaker 06 Well, I mean, what you gotta do, hey?
14:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, well done, Kat. I mean, you definitely speak differently during the game than you do to us now.
14:54 Speaker 02 But I thought it was a very good attempt. We'll put you back on hold. Andy, you there?
14:59 Speaker 07 Yeah, I am, Andy.
15:00 Speaker 02 Okay, you ready to go?
15:02 Speaker 07 Yep, sure thing.
15:03 Speaker 02 Good luck.
15:06 Speaker 02 Oh, good, Ando.
15:07 Speaker 03 Hey, mate.
15:09 Speaker 02 Hey, bit of a funny one. I was actually thinking of completely changing my putting stroke in golf.
15:15 Speaker 03 I recently changed to a mallet putter, which helped me.
15:18 Speaker 07 Oh, boys, I don't know very much about golf, but I think I'd be really, really good at it. And I think a mallet putter's the way to go.
15:30 Speaker 03 Gee, another good one. Wow. That was good, Addy. Let's bring Cat back. Two really different tactics. Hmm. Addy probably more started back foot then really front foot at the end. Just came back in with, you know what? Mallet putter, get one.
15:47 Speaker 02 I'm going to say both of you have excelled more than most people have ever in this game.
15:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, we started this going, this could be just two flame outs because who wants to talk about golf? But we've probably got one of our very rare double wins.
15:59 Speaker 02 Yes. If, if you had to pick someone, Jack?
16:03 Speaker 04 I worry if I imagined a party and a follow up question to Addy was like, okay, why is the mallet putter right for me? It's going to run out of road really quickly.
16:12 Speaker 07 No, no, I can do it, I can do it.
16:14 Speaker 03 Why is the mallet putter right for Jack, Addy?
16:17 Speaker 07 Um, because it's mallet shaped and it'll help get the ball further.
16:21 Speaker 03 Okay, you're not wrong. She's not wrong.
16:27 Speaker 02 Amazing. Well, we're going to send them both out a total of no value. Well done to the two of you. Obviously we won't put any value on that whatsoever, but when you receive them, you can place whatever value you'd like onto it, but thanks so much for playing.
16:38 Speaker 07 Thanks, boys.
16:40 Speaker 03 Well done, ladies. Wow.
16:48 Speaker 02 Tall Hat update, Ham. After we fed back the things that we decided on last week, the WhatsApp was live again with a lot of back and forth between Sam, he's our man that's doing compositing and building this carbon fibre hat for us, lightweight material, and Grace, who is the engineer, who's going to try and work out how to get this thing secure on our head so we can walk and break the record. Let's dive back into the WhatsApp.
17:17 Speaker 01 Conversations of Tall Hat Construction.
17:20 Speaker 04 Thanks to Top Stage Advanced Composites, we make cool stuff out of fibreglass and carbon.
17:26 Speaker 03 Always catches me by surprise, the ad. At first I go, do we put a joke in this? And then I go, oh no, it's a very serious thank you.
17:33 Speaker 02 Very serious.
17:34 Speaker 03 We do thank Top Stage Composites because then I remember quickly.
17:37 Speaker 02 Advanced Composites.
17:38 Speaker 03 Sorry.
17:39 Speaker 02 Do beginner stuff as well, I reckon, but.
17:41 Speaker 03 Yep. But then I just remember the cost and effort involved and they're certainly picking out the tab there. So what a bunch of heroes.
17:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, and what a tab it is. It's not lightweight.
17:52 Speaker 03 One of the heaviest tabs I've ever seen for the construction of something.
17:55 Speaker 02 They're going above and beyond as well. We've been talking about, so if people have disjourned the pod for the first time, welcome. And the idea is try and break the world record for the tallest hat. You have to walk 10 metres with it on your head. We talked about having people that are tame the hat, like lion tamers alongside with poles that have their own kind of catching claw at the end of them. Just so.
18:19 Speaker 03 Big soft buffer.
18:20 Speaker 02 Yeah. So if it was to tumble, we could at least make sure it doesn't hit the ground and smash because it's delicate.
18:27 Speaker 03 That, this is the thing, like what started as a joke and surely this can't be too hard to make a hat that tall, has turned into, is, oh, got to be, I mean, I suppose you include the royal crown in this, so it's not the world's most expensive hat. But jeez, it's up there as a costly hat and you don't want to break it. You don't want to break the neck of the pilot if it was to fall sideways. So that's what our buffer team are doing. Of course, if the hat starts swaying and someone has to correct it gently with their long buffer pole, that attempt will be over.
18:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, back to the start.
18:58 Speaker 03 We're not saying you can have it, have it, have it be handled by someone else. It just means we'll live to fight another day.
19:04 Speaker 02 Spot on. How, how many goes are you planning to have till it's done?
19:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
19:09 Speaker 02 Just keep going.
19:10 Speaker 03 Well, one ideally, like you get it right, you do it properly with this, you know, whoever the pilot is, their neck's properly warmed up, they're good to go. I think after any extended period of time, neck fatigue will set in.
19:23 Speaker 02 Yes.
19:24 Speaker 03 And that's going to be an issue.
19:25 Speaker 02 They had heard about us talking of the tamers, the guys with big, long poles with a buffered claw on it. And so that's, that piqued my interest when I saw them talking about that on the WhatsApp.
19:37 Speaker 08 I have my subcontractors on the hat launcher and tamer apparatuses. We have code named it Project Tall Terrier. And I suggest the CAD file be sent with a similar code to ensure world record OPSEC.
19:52 Speaker 00 That can happen. Final CAD will be sent tomorrow. Tall Terrier.
19:57 Speaker 02 So.
19:58 Speaker 03 Got a code word for it now. They're going to make.
20:00 Speaker 02 Operation.
20:01 Speaker 03 They're going to be making also the tamer sticks.
20:04 Speaker 02 I thought we'd just have brooms or something.
20:06 Speaker 03 Wow. It's got to be, they're going to be pretty high, the tamer sticks. I think the sticks will have to be at least.
20:11 Speaker 02 Made of broom.
20:12 Speaker 03 This thing's six metres in the air.
20:14 Speaker 02 I think I'm bad at conceptualising how big this is.
20:19 Speaker 03 Well, thanks for your honesty. But yes, a broom is too small.
20:23 Speaker 02 Like a long broom.
20:24 Speaker 03 Think of, no, pole vault pole.
20:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:26 Speaker 03 Yeah. That's why we're talking about Steve Hook a weeks ago.
20:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
20:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, because he's got pole experience.
20:30 Speaker 02 Remind me to get onto him. Um, the other thing that we brought up, Ham, was we're going to pick who pilots said out of you and I, because Jack has decided he doesn't want to risk his neck, because he's got kids to take care of. And, um, obviously another new job to find.
20:47 Speaker 02 So, um, we thought we'd.
20:50 Speaker 03 Does want to come in and have a job interview with his head resting on the table. The muscles of the back of his neck have snapped or compressed.
21:00 Speaker 02 We're towards the end of our careers. We can risk it out.
21:04 Speaker 03 His head doesn't need to be up for too much longer.
21:09 Speaker 02 There was talk of that we would turn the hat upside down and put our names in that. Oh, yeah, that's right. Now, that has caused so much difficulty for them.
21:19 Speaker 03 We've got to stop saying things on a whim.
21:21 Speaker 02 So.
21:22 Speaker 03 Because we had the idea that we'd put our names on a mag, on magnets at the bottom of the hat and then have a six metre long fishing line go down and draw one name out of the hat.
21:31 Speaker 02 So they were really worried about that because the brim is counterweighted with lead to keep the centre of mass very low. So to tip it upside down makes it really difficult.
21:43 Speaker 03 Yep.
21:43 Speaker 02 The discussion went on and on.
21:45 Speaker 03 Cherry pickers.
21:46 Speaker 02 And I, eventually I'd been out for a bit, so I came back to it going, oh my gosh, they're putting a lot of time into this. But I was about to jump in and say, hey, don't worry about it. We can think of another way to pick the person. But they had this suggestion between the two of them.
22:03 Speaker 00 Taking the top of the hat off also helps with weight and centre of mass. Alternative to picking a name out of the hat is seeing which name falls out the fastest.
22:13 Speaker 08 Taking the top off will reduce the strength of the hat, though.
22:17 Speaker 00 Will it be stiff enough to not need it? Only concern with that is getting her upright. But when you walk with it on, it should be fine.
22:27 Speaker 08 Yeah, fair. Also, most top hats tend to have a top. They haven't asked for a convertible.
22:33 Speaker 00 Just thinking about the head ventilation.
22:38 Speaker 04 So what, what's
22:39 Speaker 03 Your head's not gonna need to be too ventilated. We're only walking 10 metres in this and there's a six metre tube of air above your head. Like, I don't know how stale the air's gonna get in the 12 seconds it takes.
22:51 Speaker 04 Are they talking about taking the top off so that we don't have to tip the six metre hat over and we would pick it up?
22:56 Speaker 02 So basically, we would take the very top of the hat off, like just have it open and then you could drop nose down. I think I'd prefer
23:02 Speaker 03 And you just see which one comes out the bottom first.
23:05 Speaker 02 Yes. I think I'd prefer, um, and we can do this. I think I'd prefer a capped hat though. So like, if it must, if we're gonna go this path, we should definitely have a cap on the top that comes off.
23:15 Speaker 03 I do agree. You'd hate to do, go to all this effort and someone call foul and go, that is a topless top hat.
23:22 Speaker 02 Yes. Yep. So how passionate are we about picking a name out of a hat? Do we want to be able to remove the top of it to drop two paper names? That one, and then hopefully they float down and we see a clear winner as to who comes out? Or do you want to pick and pick the pilot differently?
23:38 Speaker 04 I'm not passionate, only because I forgot about it. So.
23:42 Speaker 03 I do have to admit, I did forget. I, I think, I think I like the idea of it being upside down. Again, maybe I'm more in Jack's camp here. In the stick figure drawing I had, it was just a ladder and someone was at the top of the ladder fishing. But of course, six metre ladder, that's very hard. It's a cherry picker situation. Then it's safety. Could snap the hat by turning it upside down.
24:02 Speaker 04 Imagine we broke the hat just trying to pick a name out of it before we even started the whole thing. That'd be
24:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's, you, you realise with something this big, you really have to look after it. It'd be like NASA going, before we launch the rocket to the moon, who's up for a big game of spin the bottle?
24:20 Speaker 03 And like, just while, just because it's a funny thing to do. And then you do it and the rocket snaps and you're like, well, it was never designed to be used like that. So let's not do that. Keep the lid on it. Keep the strength of it. We'll find another way to select a pilot on the day. It's only, we really, I mean, I know of me, I know of a few ways you can pick someone randomly from two choices.
24:47 Speaker 03 Coin flips and many other things come to mind. Let's just keep the mission simple for the hat team. Sorry that we keep thinking of these things.
24:56 Speaker 02 Great. So I think that's right. This has proved to me that they're getting close because Grace has, in her own time, been working getting the centre of mass lower to make it wearable and easier to walk with. I thought this is pretty incredible where she got to.
25:14 Speaker 00 I've been testing around to see if the added weights will be as beneficial as we hope for the centre of mass, or if the heavier weight will make it harder to walk in. Right now, I'm working with 1.5 metres of cardboard around a cowboy hat to test out balance and weight.
25:30 Speaker 04 Wow. Image sent, person with a cylinder on her head.
25:33 Speaker 00 But with this, the balance is okay-ish and I can correct if it's tipping. It's more that the hat isn't fastened enough right now to properly test out if weight also helps with walking.
25:44 Speaker 02 So I've got to, we'll put that photo up on our pipes of Grace.
25:49 Speaker 03 Not a shame. Do you know, I just, I just had a flashback. Year two, I won the Easter bonnet parade with what I thought at the time was a record-breaking tall cone hat. I remember the nerves of having to walk on stage with such a tall hat when other kids just have like ice cream.
26:11 Speaker 02 How tall are we talking?
26:13 Speaker 03 Probably a metre. Oh, really?
26:21 Speaker 03 Why did they make us do?
26:23 Speaker 02 Why did they make us do Easter bonnet parade?
26:29 Speaker 03 Let's just come roaring.
26:31 Speaker 02 Back to me.
26:32 Speaker 03 Just kids with ice cream containers on their heads as Easter and sticky toad just looking glum, like no real reason to do a ridiculous parade. However, that is what we're sort of doing here. We are doing our own bonnet parade of one. But I'm just saying, I remember it was pink cardboard and it was a big dunce, like a big witch's hat and it was a wopper. It was an absolute wopper. I think my dad did it. I think it was the size of cardboard above A3. I think it was A2, maybe even A1. It was monstrous. And it, it was hard to drive, but I did it and I won because it was just an absolute. Huge, it was massive and had Easter eggs stuck to it and then that would have mucked around with the centre of gravity and all that. So I understand what she's saying and
27:16 Speaker 03 I'm like walking around with a tube of cardboard on your head, that's something that I've, I remember, I hope I'm remembering correctly and, and it comes back to me should my name be picked on the day.
27:27 Speaker 02 You'll be able to draw upon those skills.
27:28 Speaker 03 But it feels a bit Anakin Skywalker is all I'm saying. It feels a bit like I have an origin.
27:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, you were chosen well before you knew.
27:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:36 Speaker 02 We'll put that photo of grace up on our social pipes.
27:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'll just, it could give me huge flashbacks because it sounds exactly like my Easter bonnet.
27:45 Speaker 02 We'll be able to announce in two weeks' time when we're doing this.
27:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's huge.
27:48 Speaker 02 That's because basically they've done the work, they press print.
27:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:52 Speaker 02 Like.
27:53 Speaker 03 So exciting. One hat please. There's only one other thing we have to address. Andy, get onto Steve Hooker.
28:00 Speaker 02 Oh, yes.
28:01 Speaker 03 You just said Elliot, remind me to get onto Steve Hooker. I should have wrote that down.
28:12 Speaker 03 Gentlemen, I did something thrilling and very dangerous the other day. I went ice skating with the kids. Yeah, at one of those little pop-up rinks that you sort of see that come around in wintertime.
28:27 Speaker 02 Yes.
28:27 Speaker 03 They're very small. It's like the size of a pool, like a backyard pool, but they just, I guess, freeze and sink into the ground or however you do it. But the thing about ice skating with the kids is they love the concept of it, but the reality of ice skating is it's a very slippery activity.
28:45 Speaker 02 Yes.
28:45 Speaker 03 And it's not a skill that you can really get that much better at in the 45 minutes lot that you can when you're on the ice, wearing like the very hard plastic blunt and clip-on skates that you get at the skating thing. And they give kids these Zimmer frame type things, these like barriers that they can hold on to. So you can get out on the ice and kind of skate a bit and you can hold on to something.
29:09 Speaker 02 That's what Andy needed when he smashed his teeth.
29:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, we have a bad history at ice skating. We have one.
29:14 Speaker 02 I went back out on the ice earlier this year with Beck. Beck and I, it was the first time since.
29:21 Speaker 03 How'd you feel?
29:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, I felt okay. Yeah, not like, obviously.
29:25 Speaker 03 Should we get the ice hockey team back?
29:27 Speaker 02 I haven't ice skated since that day.
29:29 Speaker 03 Yes, you have, Jack. We went for skating practice the next week. I remember we tried to keep, we tried to keep the dream alive.
29:35 Speaker 02 That's right, yeah. Still in 12 years, I haven't been back on the ice.
29:39 Speaker 03 Yeah. I mean, that was, we, we had, we were looking good for a little bit till Ando, yeah, that smashed his teeth out.
29:46 Speaker 02 Yep.
29:47 Speaker 03 With a, it was just a fall forward, wasn't it? And a land on the ice.
29:49 Speaker 02 Poor path from you, back in behind me. If it was, if it was on the puck, wouldn't have been an issue, but. So some of my stick wouldn't have been an issue, but you had to reach back for the puck. Nice skill. Yeah.
30:02 Speaker 04 Why didn't you put your hands out to, to buffer the fall?
30:04 Speaker 03 That's, that's interesting. It is an interesting question. He landed on your chin.
30:07 Speaker 02 To be honest, the ice came a lot quicker than I was expecting.
30:11 Speaker 03 I think Andy thought he could still get a shot off.
30:15 Speaker 02 With a normal fall to the ground, you don't have your legs slip, you know, like flying out.
30:23 Speaker 03 The other way. You have some traction.
30:24 Speaker 02 You have some traction.
30:25 Speaker 03 And that is really what ice skating as a dad, taking your kids is all about, is watching the other dads go, I think I can do this. And then when people get the reverse.
30:33 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
30:34 Speaker 03 Like Scooby Doo legs, where they're just running, running on the spot. And you go, it's so thrilling to watch someone doing that when they're kicking out in front of them. Cause you're like, all right, well, we're, right now, we're in a wonderful moment where it's man v gravity. By leaving, keeping his coccyx from shattering is panic. Who will win? Who will win? Gravity or panic?
30:59 Speaker 02 I did have that moment when I was with Beck earlier in the year, and unfortunately Panic didn't win.
31:05 Speaker 03 Ran out. Panic, Panic has a, has a shelf life. It can only keep you going so long.
31:11 Speaker 02 And I just reached, sorry, I just reached the confidence to go, hey Beck, film me on this. Please let us see it. So then hit the deck quite hard.
31:20 Speaker 03 The biggest, the biggest fear out there though, definitely the kids, cause they have these like, the little things they can hold on to. And so they don't need to be good. And they just, it's, they think it's like dodgem cars.
31:29 Speaker 02 Yes.
31:29 Speaker 03 So I was just like, because. Here's the other thing, there's not many skills I can do. But as you boys know, in the late nineties, early two thousands, I, as it turns out historically incorrectly, chose rollerblading over skateboarding. Back when we didn't know which was gonna be cooler.
31:47 Speaker 02 Yep.
31:47 Speaker 03 And both were about as cool as each other at the X Games.
31:50 Speaker 02 Yep.
31:50 Speaker 03 And I went, I think blading's gonna get it.
31:53 Speaker 02 Yep.
31:53 Speaker 03 And I'll invest my time learning how to rollerblade. So can skate.
31:57 Speaker 02 Can skate.
31:58 Speaker 03 Can, can, can, can, can get around, right? Like, so my body, I was like, I'll see if I can remember how to do this. Cause I haven't been back, yeah, I wouldn't have done it since we did it 12 years ago. But I was capable enough to skate around.
32:10 Speaker 02 Yes.
32:11 Speaker 03 But the real fear comes from going like, if, what it actually felt like, only because I've just finished watching it, was a Squid Game game. Where you're like, you get out under the ice and these kids are flying around, you're like, any one of these kids could give me a knee reconstruction at any time. And before you get on the ice, like before you play the Squid Game game, you're like, I can make it through. It's just a simple game. Like, I think I know how to beat this one, but then things start happening out there where you realise it's horrible and you should never have done this. And definitely after this one, you're quitting. Like, you can't keep playing this game, you're gonna die. But I was, I was doing it alright. And the whole thing we'd organised was like, I'll take the kids and then Zoe will meet us like 40 minutes later. And she'll come and see us at the end and we'll show our skills.
32:56 Speaker 02 Great.
32:56 Speaker 03 And it, it occurred to me, she's never seen me skate. She's never seen me rollerblade or ice skate.
33:04 Speaker 02 Thank goodness she hasn't seen you rollerblade.
33:07 Speaker 02 Then the relationship over.
33:10 Speaker 03 Mate, there's a level, there's, there's a level that you can get to, which is pretty hard for women.
33:19 Speaker 02 Charlie analyser after this both went, what's going on? We can't verify that.
33:26 Speaker 03 Mate, I, it, it just occurred to me, I was like, there's not many things I can do in front of my wife where she's like, wow, that's a skill. I'm impressed to see that skill.
33:35 Speaker 02 And what's great about this.
33:37 Speaker 03 I don't have any skills I can show her.
33:39 Speaker 02 And you don't have to go, hey, come and watch this, she's already coming.
33:42 Speaker 03 He has to come, well, I've got her children.
33:44 Speaker 02 Exactly. So that's great. Like, normally when I think I'm doing something great, I go, hey Beck, can you come and watch me do this? And immediately, there's nothing cool about that.
33:53 Speaker 03 I'm gonna get into the rhythm and I'm skating backwards. I'm like, oh my god, like. I think, I think she's gonna ask me to reverse my vasectomy.
34:06 Speaker 03 Thing is, I think I'm killing this. And I've noticed she turned up and I'm skating backwards and like winking. And sort of dancing as I'm going past her. And then on the next lap around, I'm checking on the kids and they're getting good. I'm aware of them as well. So I'm looking after kids and I'm skating backwards, like thumbs up, dancing. And she was filming me. She was filming me and I, that's how impressed she was, which she's never done before in her life. So we finish up, got off the ice and you're like clunking over in your skates on the plastic floor. And I was like, this is it. She's, this is a rare moment where she's gonna go like, oh, I didn't know you could skate. And she, I went over and she goes, I so badly wanted you to fall over.
34:49 Speaker 03 That makes sense why the camera was there. She was like, I was filming in slow mo. Positive you were gonna fall.
35:04 Speaker 03 Have you guys gone and got a can of Coke here? Uh, yeah, at the vending machine. Oh, no, at the shop, at the shop. At the shop? There's no longer a vending machine? Yeah, I did it. I did it last show. Forgot to tell you guys about this. It's an honesty system. Well, they, I asked, I asked. And so just to clear it up for people, the rest of this building is like a regular office. Where we podcast, like studios and then like sales department, but like, and I have an planning office. Where the communal kitchen is, and it's like a newer building, there used to be vending machines there. Yeah. And now there is food, like there's like protein bars and fisherman's friends and like packs of nuts. And you open your own fridge, you take the can and then you go and scan it yourself.
35:47 Speaker 03 And there's like a little, there's a self-checkout, Jack. You would be in absolute heaven here. I can see, I actually have seen it only from afar. And the first thing I thought. Unfortunately, which I know your favorite thing to accidentally forget to pay for at the supermarket. I did actually see it. I thought, that looks like a loose system is all that really came to mind. So I said to someone standing there, I go, what is to stop everyone just taking this? And I go, I know there's cameras. I look around, I look at the roof, I go, where are they? And she goes, oh no, on the machine that looks like a small ATM. That's not. I guess she goes, it's got a camera in that. And I go, what's this? Cause. Tough to describe in audio, but there's this small ATM looking out directly beside it is the fridge.
36:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:30 Speaker 02 You can come.
36:30 Speaker 03 So I just, I walked, I walked on the other side of the fridge, stood behind it.
36:34 Speaker 02 Yep.
36:34 Speaker 03 Snaked my arm around the front, opened the door, took four bottles of Coke and said, there's no way it's all that.
36:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's exactly how I felt.
36:40 Speaker 03 I said, this is the easiest.
36:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:42 Speaker 03 We're not doing Berg Boys here. This is the easiest robbery of all time.
36:46 Speaker 02 So who do you think is in charge of tech in the building here? Who do we normally turn to?
36:52 Speaker 03 Well, we turn.
36:53 Speaker 02 Isn't there a book where we have to write down all the problems?
36:55 Speaker 03 No, no, no.
36:56 Speaker 02 Like Gino, you mean?
36:56 Speaker 03 Gino, yeah.
36:57 Speaker 02 Gino, right.
37:00 Speaker 02 That, that book hasn't existed for about, when did we start radio 20 years ago?
37:04 Speaker 03 I haven't been over that side of the desk for decades.
37:07 Speaker 02 I'm booked to win something when like a computer errors and you have to write it down.
37:12 Speaker 03 Gino's a tech guy, right?
37:13 Speaker 02 Yes, the fault log.
37:13 Speaker 03 Yeah, fault log, that's it.
37:14 Speaker 02 So I go to the fridge, I pull out a Coke and wait for a beep or something, or, or it to be weight based. So like it knows.
37:23 Speaker 03 Now you're gonna go check it out. Yeah, you gotta do check out.
37:25 Speaker 02 Hmm. And I'm like, is this an honesty system?
37:28 Speaker 03 Cause there are those futuristic, I don't know if you've been to one, I went to one in the U S. It's like a little news agency. No, but you, you, it's in an airport, but as you're grabbing, grabbing stuff off the shelf, it just knows, you scan your card when you go in, you grab stuff off the shelf, it just watches you and knows what you've taken and then it charges you.
37:46 Speaker 02 Your worst nightmare.
37:52 Speaker 03 I'm saying like we could, you could have been mistaken for thinking we had that here at the radio station.
37:57 Speaker 02 So I said, is this an honesty system? And someone said, no, like a bus, I said, no. I said, well, it is because I have to go to the chaos. Gino pipes up and goes, there's cameras, same as you.
38:11 Speaker 03 Absolutely. This is like, guys, and I said to them, they've done a number on you here, guys. These cameras are not scary enough to deter crime.
38:18 Speaker 02 I said to Gino, I don't believe it. He goes, no, if we're out, the stock's out and it's tech weekly.
38:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
38:24 Speaker 02 Somebody goes back.
38:25 Speaker 03 Rewinding through.
38:26 Speaker 02 And watches the cameras.
38:27 Speaker 03 148 hours of footage.
38:28 Speaker 02 No way to find $3 Coke. I said to Gino, I'm gonna test the system.
38:33 Speaker 03 Yes. I mean, I meant to do it last week. We were so busy.
38:36 Speaker 02 He said to me, you shouldn't have told me. And I said to him, and I know this is gonna, there's a slight crossover with Berg Boys, but I'm likely, this is just, ours are gonna be far more elaborate. But I said to him, hey, I'm doing it this year and I'm not gonna tell you when.
38:49 Speaker 03 Absolutely. And I'm doing it in a wig. So good luck.
38:53 Speaker 03 Because he's just gonna be looking for you now on the footage.
38:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:56 Speaker 03 Simple, simple wig.
38:57 Speaker 02 Hmm.
38:58 Speaker 03 For the cost of an eight dollar wig and an overcoat.
39:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:00 Speaker 03 You've just got yourself free cokes for a year.
39:02 Speaker 02 Then Gino follows me down the hallway and says, just so you know, the shop adjusts price based on.
39:12 Speaker 03 Gino, congratulations. You've just told me the cameras don't work.
39:19 Speaker 03 You've chased me with a plan B.
39:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:22 Speaker 03 To stop me stealing. If the cameras are an effective deterrent.
39:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:25 Speaker 03 And you had faith in them, you would have said, good luck, mate, because we'll see you. There's no way you can do it.
39:30 Speaker 02 Well, I think he went for the more social.
39:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, he's trying to, yeah, he's trying to appeal to like.
39:34 Speaker 02 They will adjust the price of all the stock for the following week or month.
39:38 Speaker 04 Right. So if a lot of people steal coke and chips, it could cost $20 for a coke.
39:43 Speaker 03 We'll charge your fellow employees. Let me ask you this, Jack. If a bottle of coke is $3.50 and you stole one every day for a year and it put the price up to 3.55 for everyone else, would you do it?
39:57 Speaker 02 Well, this is the thing, and I don't advocate for stealing as much as you joke that I will. I wouldn't do that, but it does feel like it's punishing the person who's paying and not the person who's stealing.
40:07 Speaker 03 Yeah. But then would it stop you from stealing if you knew the price was going from 3.50 to 3.55?
40:11 Speaker 02 If I was a stealing person, that would not stop me. No. If, if.
40:16 Speaker 03 How were you able to get into character so well?
40:24 Speaker 01 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.
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