Pod Insights Hamish & Andy 2025 Ep 299 - The Jingle Joust About this episode Jack and his golf cart have been spotted in the wild! Hamish confesses his guilty sneezing habit, and the boys take on the dying art of company jingles in a “Jingle Joust!”. We go deep inside the Tallest Hat Dream Team WhatsApp for a very important brim-related discussion, and love is making Andy do strange things!
1. Jack In The Wild
2. Letting a sneeze off the chain
3. Jingle Joust
4. A tall swagman’s hat?
5. Partner requests
Transcript 8,084 words · 10 speakers
0:02 Speaker 00 A Listener Production.
0:07 Speaker 01 Activate your internet, because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two...
0:17 Speaker 01 Sorry, it's still buffering. One.
0:23 Speaker 02 Ahoy to me Stuart.
0:25 Speaker 03 Hamish.
0:27 Speaker 02 Hello. Please be famous elves?
0:30 Speaker 03 No. Ahoy to me Bob. Oh, Bob Stuart. Bob Stuart is where I used to get my school uniform from.
0:41 Speaker 03 But that won't be it.
0:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's not it.
0:45 Speaker 02 And Andy, and I'm simply the full stop after Bob Stuart.
0:51 Speaker 03 And I'll be Kevin.
0:54 Speaker 02 Who was I again, Stuart?
0:55 Speaker 03 Stuart, Bob and Kevin. Were we all in Jebediah, the Australian band?
1:01 Speaker 02 Are we all prime ministers?
1:03 Speaker 03 No. Apparently, we are...
1:06 Speaker 02 Stuart's a random one.
1:07 Speaker 03 We're apparently the three main minions.
1:10 Speaker 02 Ah, yeah.
1:11 Speaker 03 Oh. Have you ever seen the minions?
1:13 Speaker 02 I have seen a bit of minions, yeah. Kevin, Kevin comes up a bit. Bob, yeah, there's a bit of Bob in there.
1:18 Speaker 03 When have you thrown Stuart in? You guys aren't done like this one, do you?
1:23 Speaker 02 It's good. It'll resonate with a certain type of Despicable Me fan.
1:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:28 Speaker 02 Huge franchise. I get it.
1:30 Speaker 03 I don't remember them using each other's names.
1:32 Speaker 02 Gru does, yeah. They don't, the minions don't.
1:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:36 Speaker 02 Gru does a bit of like, you know, "Come on, Bob. You're better than that."
1:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, yes.
1:41 Speaker 02 We doesn't say that, but...
1:43 Speaker 03 That's what we're saying to Lysy with regards to these three things.
1:47 Speaker 02 I reckon what's happened with Lys is we all, you know, there was a lot of celebration over, you know, there was a Pokemon one.
1:55 Speaker 03 Yep.
1:56 Speaker 02 And then there was another animation based one, wasn't there? Wasn't it?
1:59 Speaker 03 Are we saying none of that anymore?
2:00 Speaker 02 Well, I think she's just gone, "Oh, let's just pick popular culture."
2:04 Speaker 03 The other one was the Heine is from Lion King.
2:06 Speaker 02 That's it, the Heine is from Lion King.
2:07 Speaker 03 She's gone cartoon crazy.
2:08 Speaker 02 She thinks she's fa... I'm actually gonna call, I'm gonna kibosh this loophole that she's using.
2:14 Speaker 03 She's actually just disappointed outside the studio here with a darn it type fist stamp.
2:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, like we're on to you.
2:22 Speaker 03 We're on to you.
2:23 Speaker 02 And we can't just keep doing this to go, oh, you know, papa, clumsy and some other smurf. Like, we just don't. We just, we're better than that. We want the.
2:33 Speaker 03 I don't think there's a clumsy smurf.
2:36 Speaker 02 We want the brain stretch. Don't we want the brain stretch?
2:39 Speaker 03 Wasn't one like types of katana swords or something?
2:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2:42 Speaker 03 Let's learn a little bit about the world.
2:43 Speaker 02 No, we'll improve them. Ahoy also to Jamie, uh, who's in the US who used the very easy to use system at hamishandy.com. Much better than WhatsApp. Tell us what she's been up to.
2:51 Speaker 03 No, it's not.
2:53 Speaker 04 Hey, Hamish, Andy and the Weasel. I have a message for the Berg Boys.
2:56 Speaker 03 Berg Boys.
2:56 Speaker 04 For about a year in the seventies, the government paid my grandfather to break into planes. And if he could get in, he'd leave his business card in the cockpit. When the pilot found it in the morning, they knew who to call to get their security system in order. I think I have to go on record and say my grandfather wasn't a criminal. But if you're thieving to test a security system, you're not only entitled to leave a calling card, it's the responsible thing to do.
3:17 Speaker 03 Sick.
3:18 Speaker 02 We haven't been talking about Berg Boys, but we are working on it behind the scenes.
3:21 Speaker 03 And that's all I'm gonna say about that. We don't want anyone to pick up on what we're doing.
3:26 Speaker 02 But again, I knew this job existed. It's died out. Or maybe it hasn't died out, but I mean, we're just, let's just bring it back for one time only.
3:33 Speaker 03 Are we gonna leave a calling card?
3:35 Speaker 02 Hundred percent. Can I please be in charge of a calling card?
3:38 Speaker 03 You can absolutely be in charge of the calling card.
3:41 Speaker 02 Berg Boys.
3:42 Speaker 03 Um, Hane, people often write in at hamishandy.com and say that they've seen Jack in the wild.
3:51 Speaker 02 Or you, unfortunately.
3:52 Speaker 03 Or me, yes.
3:53 Speaker 02 Pushing past them at a smoke mart is another disappointing examples of behaviour.
3:58 Speaker 03 And I think since Jack has recently become unemployed.
4:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm out and about more.
4:04 Speaker 03 You were.
4:04 Speaker 02 That's true. Far more wild time. Far more wild time.
4:07 Speaker 03 Which leads me to a brand new segment.
4:10 Speaker 05 A fascinating creature is the Jack post.
4:13 Speaker 06 But I'm just a little boy.
4:15 Speaker 05 Often wandering aimlessly in the wilderness, he presents himself as having a lack of purpose.
4:22 Speaker 06 I actually didn't listen again.
4:24 Speaker 05 But don't be fooled. He is a sophisticated animal and it's very exciting to see.
4:33 Speaker 05 Jack in the wild.
4:36 Speaker 02 It's nearly there, isn't it, the AI Attenborough?
4:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, we actually, there's a, some legal issues with using a better one.
4:44 Speaker 02 Gotcha.
4:45 Speaker 03 So it's got to be changed enough to not be Attenborough.
4:48 Speaker 02 As I was like, that is someone who, if on a cruise, if on a cruise ship, they did seven other voices, you'd be like, fine, they, they do an 80% of everyone.
4:58 Speaker 03 Yes, that is old man nature voice, very distinct.
5:04 Speaker 02 Not referencing anyone in particular, just a man born in the 1920s who loves nature.
5:12 Speaker 03 Um, this came in from Callum. I saw Jack in the wild today.
5:16 Speaker 02 Okay.
5:18 Speaker 03 Was driving into golf, listening this morning on, on, to the show, and I hear Jack talking about selling the people's trolley or marketplace.
5:25 Speaker 02 Which I haven't done, I've got the buggy.
5:28 Speaker 03 He goes, I get to golf and he's in the group in front of me.
5:32 Speaker 02 Oh, Jack, there's eyes everywhere, man.
5:34 Speaker 03 Late to his.
5:34 Speaker 02 You've got to be careful.
5:35 Speaker 03 Late to his tea time, by the way. I'm thinking, oh, at least the trolley is getting some use. On hole 15, Jack's fussing about with it.
5:47 Speaker 02 I can't believe this is seen.
5:50 Speaker 03 The battery has died.
5:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:54 Speaker 03 His playing partner, who is actually carrying his own bag on his back, says to Jack, that thing's more trouble than it's worth.
6:02 Speaker 02 This is no good for your resale value here, Jack.
6:04 Speaker 03 You've got working legs, don't you? Jack replies, clear as day, yeah, you're right. All I can think of is poor Doreen, or whoever that old lady's name was, that really needed the trolley for medical reasons, so she can keep playing golf and maintaining a connection with her community. Think he needs to gift it to the old chook, live on air. Or an apology song. I'll attach a screenshot of Jack's golf score for evidence.
6:35 Speaker 06 I did, I did have a bad round.
6:37 Speaker 03 You have had a shock.
6:42 Speaker 03 Double bogey on the first.
6:45 Speaker 06 Come on, don't read that.
6:53 Speaker 03 Then just went double, triple, double bogey, triple in succession. Wow, finally has a par on nine.
7:02 Speaker 02 Right, I can't laugh, but I am.
7:05 Speaker 03 Doesn't bother finishing hole ten. Double, triple.
7:09 Speaker 06 I don't know why this feels so vulnerable, like I'd rather naked photos of me being put on the internet.
7:15 Speaker 02 As someone, Jack, I feel you, as someone that's trying to learn golf, this feels like being hazed. This feels like you've been strung up in the locker room and you're just getting your bare butts spanked.
7:25 Speaker 03 Hole fifteen, where the trolley dies. He then gets a par after the dead trolley.
7:35 Speaker 03 Wow. Anyway.
7:37 Speaker 02 What was the final score?
7:38 Speaker 06 Might as well.
7:40 Speaker 03 You shot, well, there's no, the pick up's not.
7:44 Speaker 02 You counted, if that counts as ten?
7:46 Speaker 03 So we put that as a ten, a hundred and six.
7:49 Speaker 02 I can't, mate, I can't laugh. I can't laugh.
7:52 Speaker 03 And for people who don't know golf, par is seventy-two.
7:57 Speaker 02 And more is worse. And we'll just stop now, but, um.
8:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:05 Speaker 06 When you start playing golf, you're actually afraid of people who are good at golf, like Andy.
8:10 Speaker 02 This is absolutely, beginner golf has worst nightmares.
8:12 Speaker 06 Laughing at scores like that and people tell you, don't worry, what you'll learn on the golf course is that everybody's only interested in their own game. They're not even paying attention to you. Then to have Andy read hole by hole.
8:25 Speaker 02 It's horrible, it's horrible. I would hate that to happen to me. I'm with you, Jack. Can I just say, I'd be happy with that score. More than happy with that score. Many a day. But can I just, what I want to focus on is the trolley here.
8:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:38 Speaker 02 The first round you played with it, after all, can I just say the reputational destruction you endured as you stole it? Well, as you decided where you thought fair was on that game and you won it fairly, under those rules.
8:53 Speaker 06 Most people I bump into, especially those who are part of the 10,000 people who put themselves into the lottery, didn't see it. As balanced as what I saw it.
9:04 Speaker 02 Hmm. So you did, there was a reputational cost for you to get that trolley. But then the first time you took it out on the golf course, and again, I know for non golf understanders or carers, shout out to my wife if she's listening. As Andy said, 106 is a kind of a score you'd be like, okay, that wasn't my best day out there. You shot an 88.
9:24 Speaker 06 89, but still easily my best ever score.
9:27 Speaker 02 And it was the first round with the, and you're like, oh my God, this is been the missing link, which really spoke to me on a personal level because I do firmly believe that spending more money on gear is the answer to getting better at golf, not improving your own skill. It's probably a gear problem, so you probably can buy your way out of it. So I was like, oh my God, this sounds great, Jack. I can't believe this. But now it seems like the cart isn't the magic.
9:50 Speaker 06 No, it's, it's not magic. Like I do like not having to push the cart and it drives around like on its own, but it isn't definitely not magic and I've been getting worse. And can I say what, just like one bugbear with it, even though I'm very thankful for the company.
10:05 Speaker 06 Is it gets, you, you meant to charge it, it says in the manual many times, charge it every round. But at the end of the round, you can check the battery and pretty much at the end of every round, it's about 50% left in it. So you often get to the end and you're like, oh, I probably can not charge it this time and just run the gauntlet again next time and get another 50% out of it. So what happens when it runs out of battery?
10:28 Speaker 02 So you think the second 50 goes faster than the first 50?
10:31 Speaker 06 I mean, the second 50 on this occasion was only, he really had 14 holes in it, not 18. And then it, because you walk from side to side the whole way down the field.
10:44 Speaker 02 I've got to, I've got to say that's very cruel, but I must hand it to you, wonderful golf burn.
10:53 Speaker 06 It is so awkward when it dies because you can't, it doesn't, it's got something in it that doesn't let you push it because the motors are meant to.
11:02 Speaker 02 Resist it.
11:03 Speaker 06 Resist the wheel. So why this guy Callum has seen me is like down on all fours. You have to unlock the wheel from the motor to.
11:12 Speaker 02 Otherwise you're dragging, there's just three skid marks for five holes as you drag a stubborn mule of a cart along behind you.
11:20 Speaker 06 Not a great look.
11:21 Speaker 02 Callum, thank you very much for your Jack sighting. Um, we only want real ones. Um, but if you do see. We've only ever had them. But, um, but no, I'm just referring to my sightings, which tend to have. We've never had a falsy for anyone. I appreciate the people's honesty there. Keep them coming in.
11:37 Speaker 06 Can I hold on to it though, Trolley?
11:39 Speaker 03 I'm going to hold on to it. Yeah.
11:40 Speaker 02 Couldn't we give a quick update on the piano that you had to get shipped off to the guy in Tasmania?
11:44 Speaker 06 Yes, it is going very soon. Very soon.
11:47 Speaker 02 God, I thought like months ago.
11:49 Speaker 06 The guy, apparently the guy who's coming to pick it up had abdominal strain and he can't, he can't lift it.
11:56 Speaker 02 Did you get the cheapest?
11:57 Speaker 06 I, I outsourced the, the logistics of this to Lita. Sorry.
12:03 Speaker 03 I, I. Who have you picked? Why have they only got one person? Why can't there be one person that's got a sore abs that can't compass it?
12:11 Speaker 02 No one else in Melbourne willing to move a piano. It has been months. Jack, why aren't you more across this?
12:16 Speaker 06 This was your.
12:17 Speaker 03 I actually.
12:17 Speaker 02 This was to rebuild your reputation.
12:19 Speaker 06 I know. I actually, I keep asking what's happening with the piano. She told me this morning before we started, he's got an abdominal strain and he doesn't want to lift the piano right now.
12:29 Speaker 02 Did you say, don't worry, I'll do it because I don't have a job?
12:32 Speaker 06 No, I said, yeah, good point. Cause it's really heavy. It is really heavy.
12:43 Speaker 02 I think it's safe to say we all, if COVID taught us nothing else, it taught us how to sneeze, right? Like it taught us the, um, the elbow trick.
12:50 Speaker 06 Yeah, into the elbow.
12:51 Speaker 02 I don't think, I don't think we were doing, were you doing the elbow before COVID?
12:54 Speaker 06 Double hand.
12:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, hands.
12:56 Speaker 02 We were doing hands. That turned out to be bad.
12:58 Speaker 06 Yep.
12:59 Speaker 02 Cause hands go elsewhere.
13:01 Speaker 06 Hmm.
13:01 Speaker 02 Yeah. And so we all learned, I think we all learned a lot about sneezing.
13:05 Speaker 06 Yes.
13:05 Speaker 02 I feel, I still feel that there's an element of when people sneeze now way more, way more post-COVID. When people are like police the sneeze a little bit and go. You know, we're not back in those times. Back in Covid, remember she sneezed, it was like.
13:19 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
13:20 Speaker 02 It was like you brought a gun out.
13:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22 Speaker 02 Glad.
13:22 Speaker 03 I don't know.
13:23 Speaker 02 It was wild.
13:24 Speaker 03 What you guys are like, but I don't think anyone needs to actually outwardly sneeze. Can't you just hold it in? Like, can't you just?
13:30 Speaker 02 No, I can't. My son, my son can. He can do.
13:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
13:35 Speaker 02 He like can.
13:36 Speaker 03 Why can't you do it?
13:37 Speaker 02 I don't think I can hold it in.
13:39 Speaker 03 Hmm. I can deaden the explosion, but I can't contain it completely.
13:43 Speaker 02 I could, I could soften it, but this actually leads into what I want to talk about. This, the, the soft, like the deadened one, it's like when you, yeah, like someone like, you know, in old western movies, like an explosion happens in a mine and you like hear something and then just a puff of smoke comes out the tunnel.
13:56 Speaker 03 That's what I'm running with.
13:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, Sonny can do those and I, I admire his ability to completely do it. But we're all, we're all sneezing into our, into our crooks. And I'd be interested to hear your thoughts, Ando, and other people's as people that kind of are able to like choke out their sneezing and muffle it. When you're by yourself, do you ever just let a sneeze off the chain?
14:22 Speaker 02 And have a huge sneeze.
14:23 Speaker 03 I do that as a choker. So in, in, I would, I will, I will use the silencer.
14:28 Speaker 02 Goodness.
14:28 Speaker 03 But then if I've taken someone out into the forest and I want to take the silencer off. That's.
14:35 Speaker 02 I, it is like singing at the top of your lungs. Like it is like an elephant. Sometimes if I'm by myself and, cause you, the sneezes sneak up on you. So you only have a really one or two seconds to make the call.
14:47 Speaker 03 Yes.
14:47 Speaker 02 Are we suppressing this or are we going full noise?
14:50 Speaker 03 Yes.
14:51 Speaker 02 And when you realise.
14:53 Speaker 03 Check your.
14:53 Speaker 02 I'm in my bedroom by myself here and you can just.
14:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:57 Speaker 02 Woof, like you just let it out and like a sonic boom comes forth. It is great fun. I did one the other day.
15:05 Speaker 03 Spray though, this, when you.
15:07 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, it's good. It's a, it's a, it's a dirtbag move, but.
15:09 Speaker 03 But that's why the, and, and outdoor one is absolutely the best. If you say like, if you're on a walk by yourself, nobody around.
15:17 Speaker 02 Just remembering I wasn't in the bedroom.
15:23 Speaker 02 That's right. That's why there's so many trees around. I thought it was the wallpaper.
15:30 Speaker 02 But you're right, yeah, that like, that's why I was so excited the other day. You're right, because of the outdoor one, the wind can take it and no animal, it's just animals out there. So I had one the other day where, because it's that really, really fast window to make the calculation of like, hang on, what am I doing? How am I controlling this? It's the closest I ever feel to being an elite athlete, when you've got no time to think and you've got to get the pass off. But it slows down. So you're like, okay, what do we do? Yeah, suddenly you're like the quarterback, seeing all the options in front of you. Am I indoors? Am I outdoors? I'm obviously outdoors, indoors is a pig maneuver.
16:03 Speaker 02 So I see, I had a bit of a, I had a bit of a blocked nose, like, you know, been like blowing my nose and a sneeze came on. So the algorithm comes down and I go, you know, first on the decision tree, soft or loud? Yeah. And I go, yeah, go loud. You by yourself. And then And then elbows, elbows take the day off. Yeah. For that one. Yeah. And then I went, there's a whole new thing you can do here. What if I tried to, if I took a big breath in, because it's the, it's the breath in indicates how loud the sneeze is going to be. It's like when they say the tide goes out before like a tidal wave. Yeah. So your breath in, like, this is going to be huge. And then I made the call, keep your no, keep your mouth shut. Wow. And try and get it all through the nose. And You're in the bedroom.
16:48 Speaker 02 I was in the bathroom for this one. But I need, I almost needed to put like tarps up on the wall. Oh my gosh. As it's coming, you're like, I don't know what's gonna happen here. But there's such a thrill when you're doing an experiment with your own head. Your own head is the apparatus. So I was like, here we go. Like, hold my lips. It's not good. It's not good. I felt like I almost blew the top of my cheeks out. Like it, yeah, it just came, like all the spit erupts out through your lips and everything. So it's not, it's not hot and it's not good. No. But walk it back one step. And I say, hey, it's just you. You're a consenting adult. You're by yourself. Enjoy yourself. Let one off the chain. Out again.
17:36 Speaker 03 We discussed this during the week. A dying art, I think, is taking a popular song and making a jingle out of it. I feel like it was huge and prevalent in the 90s.
17:45 Speaker 02 Yep. Or making almost like a song about the company.
17:48 Speaker 03 Yes.
17:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:49 Speaker 03 Famous ones.
17:49 Speaker 02 Those were the days.
17:50 Speaker 03 Famous ones in the past. It's Mac Tonight, as in McDonald's Tonight versus Mac the Knife. This is a bit of that one.
17:56 Speaker 02 We grew up with this, yeah.
18:24 Speaker 02 Killer. Now.
18:26 Speaker 03 Giant Moon singing it from memory?
18:28 Speaker 02 Yes, yes. And I can't remember who the artist was. It was a famous artist singing it. I just thought they'd written that for McDonald's. I was shocked to find out later that was a song.
18:35 Speaker 03 Yes.
18:37 Speaker 02 But it was... Did it die out because McDonald's started focusing more on the breakfast menu? And that's steering too many customers in store for night time.
18:48 Speaker 03 Yep. I think that's probably why they...
18:50 Speaker 02 Probably from your franchise owners, you have the pushback to be like, hey, that's... We're a 24 hour restaurant.
18:55 Speaker 03 Give us a break. Another one that we remembered was Banana Boat.
19:13 Speaker 02 Amazing.
19:13 Speaker 03 I thought there was an ad... The one I was singing was, maybe remind me of it, was, um... I thought it was an ad for a carton of ice. I thought it was a drink, um, a can.
19:23 Speaker 02 No, no, yeah, I know the one you're thinking of. But it was just an ad for putting cans on ice in the 90s.
19:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was just an ad. What do you mean? It was just an ad for cans.
19:32 Speaker 02 It was really just an ad.
19:33 Speaker 03 Like an Alumium, like Alumium Australia. Yeah, we know that you love...
19:37 Speaker 02 It must have been, Jack. It must have been from like the Alumium Producers Association. Because it really was just an ad encouraging you to have a preferred delivery mechanism of soft drink.
19:51 Speaker 02 Like between bottles and cans. Yes. And it was an ad about just how great cans are. Yep, have a listen.
20:13 Speaker 02 I just love them.
20:17 Speaker 02 Every time.
20:26 Speaker 03 And they just had heaps of brands of different cans.
20:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was, it was like a we are the world moment because it was like.
20:32 Speaker 03 All brands come together.
20:33 Speaker 02 Coke and Schweppes and everyone had just come together to just be cans. Like what unites us? It's just cans.
20:40 Speaker 03 So we wanted to say to the biggest companies in the world, there's still an avenue for you and remind them that this could still be done.
20:48 Speaker 02 We've shown some big hitters there.
20:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:50 Speaker 02 It looks like cans haven't gone anywhere. It worked for cans, it could work for you.
20:54 Speaker 03 So in a segment we're doing today called the Jingle Joust, we put in eight big companies that may not normally turn to a jingle or a hit song to turn to a jingle. And then we put eight big songs in a hat.
21:08 Speaker 02 Have you got the company list?
21:09 Speaker 03 The companies were WorkSafe, ChatGPT, Allbrand, LinkedIn, Louis Vuitton, Tesla, Durex and Metamucil.
21:18 Speaker 02 Could really could go anywhere, although too heavy. You've got Metamucil and Allbrand in there, so too heavy on the bowel movement. It'd be unlucky if we pulled both of those. I don't know what you guys, I didn't get either of those. I don't know. Neither did I. Okay, okay. So we've dodged a, dodged a heavy fibre, two heavy fibre jingles.
21:38 Speaker 03 The songs were All Star by Smash Mouth, The Macarena, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Cake By The Ocean. Um, Those Boots Are Made For Walking, Um, Oh What A Night, December ninety, uh, sixty-three, Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue and Riptide by Vance Joy. Now, we all dipped our hands into a hat from, for both the brands and the songs.
22:01 Speaker 02 Yep.
22:02 Speaker 03 Haim, you kick us off.
22:03 Speaker 02 Okay, great.
22:03 Speaker 03 What, what, uh, do you want to go song first or, or brand first?
22:07 Speaker 02 I drew. LinkedIn. Oh. So initially I was like, okay, that's, I'm not on LinkedIn. Jack, you might be because. I should be, yeah. Looking for a job. Um, but, um, I, I'm not on LinkedIn, but that's okay. You didn't have to be a power user of the product to write a, um, to write a jingle for it. And my song was Riptide by Vance Joy. All right. Which I now have, and I loved the song before, but now I have even more of an appreciation for it. Because you had to try and.
22:35 Speaker 02 Specifically the singing of it. It's right in his key, isn't it? Yeah, yep. He's done well. I mean, good on him. Good on him. He's right. He's not gonna write himself a hard song. Yeah, yeah. So he's played, played to his strengths and good on him. Good on him. All power to him. He wasn't to know that I would be needing him to write a song that we both could sing. Yeah, in a slightly lower key. Several tones lower. He's just thought of himself. And again, I say, good on him. He's the one out touring it. You can see how long these things are. How long is Hame's jingle? Fifty five seconds. Wow. Wow, you're gonna have to buy a double.
23:10 Speaker 02 How long was it meant to be? You're gonna have to buy a double ad spot. Well, usually an ad is thirty seconds, but I guess you could buy a double, double. This is a cinema ad. Cinema.
23:19 Speaker 02 Okay, LinkedIn with Riptide.
23:26 Speaker 02 If you are a dentist or in PR.
23:31 Speaker 02 If you are a project leader needing work connections. Oh, my friend, we are a dream.
23:41 Speaker 02 Best professional networking site that you've ever seen. Ah, woo, and we're totally free. Asterix. Use us. We are the guys at LinkedIn. We know what the world's thinking. Specifically about business things. Like job posts, statistics on engagements of posts, and also thought leadership posts. Those are the posts you love the most. Asterix details. We're not totally free. Our free version is free. Premium is expensive.
24:16 Speaker 02 That's a website I'd go to.
24:19 Speaker 03 I like it.
24:20 Speaker 06 I really liked it.
24:21 Speaker 02 I appreciate it.
24:22 Speaker 03 To be honest, I don't remember hearing or seeing a LinkedIn ad before, but I reckon that's on them. They probably have done it.
24:28 Speaker 06 And I don't think that was memorable as what you've just produced. They wouldn't finish the ad with our premium version is expensive.
24:37 Speaker 02 But I would argue to them, that's the, that's why you get someone, just a man on the street to write your ads for you.
24:42 Speaker 03 Yes.
24:42 Speaker 02 Because that's how we would see it.
24:44 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:44 Speaker 02 Just more honest. I'm not saying it's the most expensive thing in the world. It's certainly more expensive than free. So it's a consideration.
24:50 Speaker 03 Yep.
24:51 Speaker 06 Well done.
24:51 Speaker 02 And if I was allowed more time in the small talk, I would go, yeah, man, it's more expensive than some things, but you know, you go spend money to make money. I mean, do you want a job or not? Get in there.
24:59 Speaker 06 And you'd already gone for 55 seconds.
25:02 Speaker 02 The ad you gave us had two minutes of small talk.
25:04 Speaker 03 It flew, which I think is a testament to the song.
25:06 Speaker 02 Some credit to them, to be honest.
25:10 Speaker 02 I'll take all the credit.
25:13 Speaker 03 I pulled out of the song hat, Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue.
25:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay.
25:18 Speaker 03 I then pulled out Louis Vuitton.
25:20 Speaker 02 Wow. Now, there's a, there's a brand of all these brands that's least likely to get a jingle.
25:27 Speaker 03 Yes. I don't think Louis Vuitton's going to go for jingles.
25:29 Speaker 02 The stuff that Louis Vuitton does just never, it just doesn't seem like it's one step away from a jingle.
25:35 Speaker 03 And then nothing in the lyrics of Spinning Around rhymes with Louis Vuitton.
25:40 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, no, and the tough thing about a jingle is you kind of need the, you kind of need the name of the brand in there.
25:46 Speaker 03 Yes. So what do you think, I'm, I'm going to ask both of you and hopefully you get the right answer because this leads the, into where the direction.
25:53 Speaker 02 Is it something like, you know, owl bags around, you know, long shaped?
25:57 Speaker 03 No. What colours defy Louis Vuitton, do you think? The most famous colours?
26:02 Speaker 06 Would it be sort of a brown?
26:04 Speaker 03 Yes. Very similar to that. And this is what I came up with.
26:17 Speaker 07 Louis Vuitton, since 1854. Sling a touch of Paris over your arm.
26:40 Speaker 06 Really good.
26:41 Speaker 02 Well done, well done. Really good. And congratulations, you took the world, possibly the world's premium fashion house and made it sound like a discount outlet chain.
26:53 Speaker 06 But it's so catchy. I reckon it would work if that was an ad that was always on TV and radio, you would start going like, which one's Louis Vuitton, you know?
27:00 Speaker 02 Don't Louis Vuitton.
27:01 Speaker 06 Gold letters on brown. Oh, yes.
27:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's the one you can never forget.
27:08 Speaker 03 Jack, which one? Uh, let's start with the song.
27:11 Speaker 06 Okay, I picked out of the hat Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Oh What a Night. And the company that I pulled out is WorkSafe.
27:21 Speaker 02 I was surprised to see WorkSafe even on the list because it's really more of a government organisation.
27:26 Speaker 03 I just thought it's the kind of company that you're not going to see a jingle for because they're normally doing really brutal ads where someone's in an industrial accident and lissing an arm and they're like, come on, be take care of your mates. So that's, that was the challenge of that one. That's tough, Jack.
27:42 Speaker 06 That's what I remembered of WorkSafe ads growing up was either the, the horrific injury ones or there was the easier to digest one where the work site is looking out the window. They see him rock up in the car park and they go, oh no, WorkSafe here. Did you put the metal guard on, et cetera, et cetera?
27:58 Speaker 03 That was more of a precautionary one, wasn't it? Like, you know.
28:01 Speaker 02 I feel like, is it WorkSafe? Is WorkSafe a Victorian thing or is it national?
28:05 Speaker 03 Oh, I would have thought it was.
28:06 Speaker 02 It could be, just in case people in other states are listening, I mean, people could figure this out. I feel like it might be WorkSafe Victoria, but we all grew up in Victoria.
28:13 Speaker 06 Maybe. But surely every state's got their own version of like a WorkSafe inspector coming around to check on you.
28:20 Speaker 02 I'm not, not saying that Victoria is the only state that makes you have the rules and everyone else, no, no hard hats, no scabs holding.
28:28 Speaker 06 If you're anywhere else.
28:31 Speaker 02 Wear what you want and just, you know, if you, if you, if you're getting really antsy up on there, tie a rope round your ankle and then tie it to a beam if you're really worried about falling.
28:40 Speaker 06 So I've, I've been inspired by those ads of the guys looking out from their work sites, seeing the work site, safe man, inspector rocking up. This is sung from the perspective of the work site. And I've also, yeah, the work site, so the workers.
28:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, okay.
28:58 Speaker 06 They, they are talking about the work safe man. And I've also bought a double ad.
29:03 Speaker 02 Oh, fine. You bought a double ad, it's longer. What I like about this, Jack, is I could, and obviously it's your vision, but I could see the start of the ad where they've got the radio on during the work site.
29:14 Speaker 06 Loved that.
29:15 Speaker 02 And then this song comes on.
29:17 Speaker 06 And they're in their high vis by the end, they're dancing and singing.
29:19 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yeah, and it's like an audio fade from radio music to kind of live action singing, is that?
29:24 Speaker 06 Wow.
29:25 Speaker 02 You've sort of written a musical, have you, Jack?
29:26 Speaker 06 This is, this is exactly my vision.
29:28 Speaker 02 Here we go.
29:33 Speaker 08 The work safe guy.
29:36 Speaker 08 He's pointing things out every time he comes. Says no more smoke, go buy the diesel drums. Or he will call us non-comply.
29:51 Speaker 08 The work safe guy. He strongly recommends we change our shoes. Steel cap toes instead of cowboy boots. They might look nice, but they're non-comply.
30:11 Speaker 08 He says that we need to comply or he'll suspend us. He also thinks it's time to untie the apprentice. Dun dun do that, dun dun dun do that. Dun dun dun do that, dun dun dun do that. Dun dun dun do that, dun dun dun do that.
30:38 Speaker 06 I mean, I can see them all singing and dancing.
30:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:41 Speaker 06 And they're pointing out things not to do.
30:43 Speaker 02 Not to do. And it's got this kind of severe village people vibe. That guy wasn't really a construction worker, but he got into it.
30:53 Speaker 06 It's the village people if they're all the construction worker.
30:55 Speaker 02 It's exactly it. I mean, it adds way more to my mind, since we're kind of like painting visual picture here. There's a lot of finger waggling from the works.
31:04 Speaker 06 Yeah, yeah.
31:05 Speaker 02 Which you don't see in the ads. And I think in real life, they're probably a bit sterner than that. But it keeps it lighthearted, you know, it keeps it lighthearted. There's a lot of finger waggling. Don't do that.
31:14 Speaker 06 Well done, Jacko.
31:15 Speaker 02 Well done, guys. The tricky part for you, Jack, is because you'd have to have that as the ad, but then it has to get into the serious bit at the end.
31:22 Speaker 06 Yeah.
31:22 Speaker 02 Like you have to going from singing, don't, don't, don't do that. It would have to like, quite quickly power down and then have like a voice that would go, you know, seriously, don't do that.
31:31 Speaker 06 Yeah.
31:31 Speaker 02 All jokes aside. All jokes aside, spoken by B Bancroft for works I forget.
31:42 Speaker 03 Aim, as we strive to make the world tallest hat. The, in the war room, where Sam and Grace are, they still continue to chat on WhatsApp.
31:54 Speaker 02 Are you monitoring it?
31:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, monitoring it. I've also entered the chat to throw our ideas that we have in between the weeks to them to see how they respond to time for another one of these.
32:06 Speaker 05 The inside word. Conversations of tall hat construction.
32:12 Speaker 03 By way of background, Grace is a university student, aerospace engineering. I think she's studying. And so she's doing design and Sam works at a compositing manufacturer. So he's going to do the lightweight structure. We're going a top hat and the idea of making a lead rim.
32:32 Speaker 02 Yep. Did you mention to them the lead corks of a Bushman's hat?
32:38 Speaker 03 I did. And that's why I wanted to show you where we're at. And then I did throw that. It's the first time I had the courage to enter myself into the WhatsApp with a suggestion.
32:48 Speaker 02 Thank you.
32:49 Speaker 03 Just from the group, that we could do a corked hat and have lead instead of corks to counterbalance the weight of the hat itself.
33:01 Speaker 03 They began the conversation talking about how thick the lead rim was gonna be. I think Sam was trying to work out, he's our manufacturer. He was trying to work out how much of a tubular, I suppose, end to the brim he will need to fill with lead.
33:20 Speaker 02 Hmm.
33:21 Speaker 03 Um, this is how it started.
33:23 Speaker 09 How thick is the lead?
33:25 Speaker 00 Yep, like is there a minimum thickness?
33:27 Speaker 09 Not from our point of view.
33:29 Speaker 00 Okay, easy. Most likely we'll be lining the bottom of the tube with it.
33:35 Speaker 09 Yeah, easy. I have a mate with an oven he uses to make lead ingots. Can have a chat with him about making the lining.
33:42 Speaker 00 Okay, perfect. Can definitely use any metal if they are easier to manufacture or even getting curved sheet metal to embed. I'm good mates with the manufacturing supervisor at uni if we need anything like that.
33:55 Speaker 09 Yeah, perfect. Might need to keep that in mind for the buckle.
33:59 Speaker 03 Now, it just showed to me, gosh, they're really going down this lead brim. And I hadn't spoken up yet from our point of view.
34:06 Speaker 02 It is also interesting because they don't know each other, predominantly just through the chat. It's a mate off, isn't it?
34:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
34:13 Speaker 02 I've got this friend. This guy's oven, okay, cool.
34:16 Speaker 03 And what's an ingot?
34:18 Speaker 02 An ingot is just like a bar of, like a gold ingots, like a gold brick. And an ingot, like, so it's just like a little bar of, you know, the material.
34:26 Speaker 03 Oh, so he's just got to make his bars of lead. He can get bars of lead.
34:30 Speaker 02 I guess he has a little mould that he can like heat up the lead and pour it in and make little bars.
34:35 Speaker 03 Ah, okay. So, yeah, a bit of a made off. This is when I thought cheapest, they're going heavy, literally, on the brim of this.
34:44 Speaker 02 Can I just ask, I, I, I just wanna speak up for anyone trying to visualise this. If they're talking about attaching, so you think of a standard top hat, felt, felt on felt, right? Felt brim, felt hat, you don't really need to think too much about the structure. You're not going five metres in the air. When you've got that kind of a situation, that thinking about the brim of a top hat, you kind of need to know how stiff that brim is because if you start weighing down the outside of the brim, I worry it now begins to droop over the eyes. No, droopy, yeah. Too droopy. No. And I wondered if the whole brim being lead, like a halo, is a better structural option. So it still gives you the weight because we're really trying to make it, you're trying to
35:29 Speaker 02 connect the brim to the hat. From what I can gather, the whole brim is carbon fibre. So it is soup, the whole thing is rigid carbon fibre. Didn't know about that. With a curl at the end, which they're going to build in the mould, that they can then just put the, push the lead in on the outer curve. Is that making sense? So they hide the lead in the curler. Yeah. No, no, no. Okay, no, if the brim is carbon fibre. Yep. No problemo. Yep. That's great because I'm just worried about how you transfer the weight from the edge of the brim through the brim to the hat. And if it was felt, we've got a droop, we've got droop city on our hands here. But that's, okay, that makes more sense to me. We do need to cover, we'll need to cover the carbon fibre with felt.
36:13 Speaker 02 Yes, yes, I think they plan on doing that. So a very rigid brim. I like it. So this is where I went, oh gosh, I've got to jump in with our idea for the corked hat and instead of corks with lead. So the weight dangles lower, which would be a better counterweight, as you were suggesting. Ham, Ham's obviously our physics man. Maybe, maybe. So I plucked up the courage and I jumped in. Hey guys, Andy jumping in here. I'm no engineer, but this was discussed on the podcast. What about we went with a corked hat and instead of corks, there were lead weights to counterbalance and improve stability?
36:49 Speaker 00 Low key not a bad idea, but we'll add extra weight. I think we can get away with just an absurdly wide brim hat.
36:56 Speaker 09 Agreed. Just needs to grab the head well.
36:59 Speaker 02 Okay, I'll butt out of this. So I quickly just.
37:04 Speaker 02 You really didn't. I can't say you advocated too hard for the idea. I panicked. Hey guys, I just started jumping with an idea. Sure, what's up Andy? No worries, I'm out.
37:16 Speaker 03 Well, it got dismissed pretty quickly.
37:18 Speaker 02 No, it wasn't actually dismissed. She said, low key, a pretty good idea.
37:21 Speaker 03 Low key, not a bad idea, but we'll add extra weight. I think we can get away with just an absurdly wide brim hat.
37:27 Speaker 02 And then we actually can't have an absurdly wide.
37:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, because how, how, how wide is absurdly wide? Well, that's the thing. We haven't really passed. I didn't want to, I was too nervous to jump back in and say, hey, hey, guys, I'm going to try something again. Because it seemed like they're really tight and I'm just third wheeling.
37:44 Speaker 02 What we're doing now is going back a few weeks where I'd got an email from a guy that claims to know the American guy that holds the current record. And he said, one of the rules he was following is it has to kind of be a standard hat. They used a Santa hat that's just been stretched or lengthened height wise.
38:02 Speaker 03 Well, they, they think a wider brim would be better for us. So if we were like.
38:06 Speaker 02 But does that violate the top hat rule? But on one hand, we're stretching it one way. Can we stretch it another way? I don't know.
38:13 Speaker 03 I think, well, that's.
38:14 Speaker 02 It comes down to, for me, because we've decided to not embark on all the rigmarole and palaver of using the Guinness Book of Records. Because we're just going to have five honest citizens see it with their own eyes and judge it off the criteria. Comes down to, it's a question of honour. Do we believe it's honourable to win this thing with a wider brim or not?
38:39 Speaker 03 Hmm. I, I think so. Or we just pretend that we're doing a wide brim hat. We change it from top hat to a wide brim hat. I mean, some. But how, how wide is wide?
38:48 Speaker 02 You know, this, do you know what this, what if I right now I ask ChatGPT? Is there, has there ever been a wide brimmed top hat accepted in society as a version of the top hat?
39:02 Speaker 02 And we let ChatGPT decide, has there ever been?
39:06 Speaker 03 Because when they say it has to be the existing hat.
39:09 Speaker 03 Like, what, just the same base size and then just heaps taller?
39:14 Speaker 06 Yeah, I think what they're saying is you can, you can alter it vertically, but you can't alter it in different ways.
39:22 Speaker 02 I'm just looking to cherry pick the answer here. And this is rare for ChatGPT to do this to you, but it says historically and formally, no. A wide brimmed hat is not considered a legitimate form of top hat in traditional fashion or millenary classifications.
39:40 Speaker 03 I say we switch to sombrero then.
39:43 Speaker 06 We've got to ask them how wide they're thinking, because if they're thinking, okay, joke wide, like we, and we've already done wide brim hat before. Then it's not going to pass the test of this is a real hat.
39:55 Speaker 02 Now it says here in exceptions under, sorry, I'm still in ChatGPT. Mad Hatter hats sometimes have a very wide brim.
40:03 Speaker 03 They really do.
40:03 Speaker 02 Exaggerative. So we could do the Mad Hatter hat. That's a hat that exists.
40:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's nice.
40:07 Speaker 02 And then it says, the Guinness World Records tallest hats sometimes extend brim width for stability. But the record is based on height only, not fashion correctness.
40:20 Speaker 02 So I would say, I would think we would still claim the honourable win if we have a moderately wide brim, but not an absurdly wide one. In which case I would support going to a sombrero.
40:33 Speaker 03 Okay, I'll plug up the carriage to chat to them again on the WhatsApp.
40:37 Speaker 06 We'll know how this will go. You'll say, why don't we do a sombrero? They'll say, no, we're right. Thanks. And you go, all right, bye. Sorry, this was Jack using Andy's phone. Bye.
40:50 Speaker 03 Fellas, I've found a category of things that people in relationships do. And they simply do them because they're in love with their partner. And love is a spell, isn't it?
41:05 Speaker 03 They cast a spell and you, and you end up doing things. And obviously sometimes the spell wears off and that's sad for those couples.
41:15 Speaker 03 But I find myself doing extremely annoying, say if you asked me to do it, Jack, I'd go, no way. Yeah.
41:21 Speaker 02 But that doesn't surprise me because Jack's not your fiance.
41:25 Speaker 03 I know, but exactly, but that's, that's, that's.
41:26 Speaker 02 That's the power of.
41:28 Speaker 03 That's the power of love.
41:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:29 Speaker 03 You know, and I'm not talking about just, you know, bins or spider removal or, you know, the Andy Jobs that we've said in the past. Yeah. Like me asking you to take my bins out is a lot to ask you if you don't live at my house. Yes, no, agreed.
41:42 Speaker 02 But you still do love Jack a bit. Would you go and take his bins out?
41:47 Speaker 03 If you were in the area, would you take my bins out? If I was leaving your house and you said, can you take the bins out on the way? I would. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. But my point is.
41:55 Speaker 02 I'd take your, I'd take your bins out, Jack, if I was in the same city.
41:59 Speaker 03 Thank you. Okay, next time you down test that, Jack. Well, not just.
42:04 Speaker 02 Not, not if you're abusing it, but if you're like, mate, I'm absolutely up against it. I need you to take the bins out. And it was moderately convenient for me?
42:14 Speaker 03 No, yeah, moderately convenient. This is where, this is where best endeavors comes into contracts. Very hard to ask.
42:20 Speaker 02 I'd make, I'd make best endeavors.
42:22 Speaker 03 Best endeavors. No, they're, I mean, those are things for the betterment of the household, even though they're annoying for me personally, but, and I, and I think I have more of those jobs than Beck does, but they, they're a joint benefit for that. I'm talking about things that only benefit Beck and don't benefit me whatsoever.
42:37 Speaker 02 Obviously something's happened. What's, what's the job?
42:39 Speaker 03 What's the job? In fact, I'd encourage people to write in because I think this happens a lot of couples where you just find yourself doing something. You're like, God, I wouldn't do this for anyone else. Maybe people write in home machinery.com. First one, every night Beck asks me to set the alarm for her because she doesn't trust her own phone alarm. That is a bit too much to ask. So this morning.
43:04 Speaker 02 It's the same type of phone. Doesn't trust her phone. She goes, I'm gonna, like, if we have to go somewhere, she'd be like, got the alarm set for 5:15, you set one too. But if you've got it set.
43:13 Speaker 03 Well, Beck's like, great. I'm getting up for Pilates at 5:15. Can you set my, set the alarm for me?
43:19 Speaker 02 Just set her, on her phone.
43:21 Speaker 03 No.
43:21 Speaker 02 Or on your phone.
43:22 Speaker 03 On my phone. And so I wake up at 5:15, roll over, wake her up. She goes, thanks very much. She goes, I'll try not to wake you. Like, no, you have.
43:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:33 Speaker 03 And then she goes in and gets ready quietly and I gave up at seven or 7:30, whatever time I'm getting up. That to me is odd, but I don't care about it whatsoever.
43:45 Speaker 02 That's love.
43:45 Speaker 03 That's love. That's love. Yeah. Here's the second one.
43:49 Speaker 03 Bec has a coat that she likes to travel overseas with, but doesn't want to pack it in the bag because it would get crumpled. I carry the coat on carry-on everywhere we go.
44:01 Speaker 02 That's good.
44:01 Speaker 03 And I was just sitting there.
44:02 Speaker 02 In your bag or you just carry it in your arms?
44:03 Speaker 03 No, carry it like draped over my arm.
44:07 Speaker 02 Yep.
44:08 Speaker 03 And I was, Bec's easy getting through passport and control and everything because she doesn't have the coat. And I, I said, I had maybe you should carry the coat. And she's like, oh, no, no, it's like, you've got long arms. You're a better coat rack.
44:24 Speaker 03 And I was thinking, I would never, if, if we got to the airport with you and Hamish, you and I got to the airport, Hamish, and you said, hey, can you carry my coat for the rest of the trip? Until I get there, because I might want to wear it once, I'd tell you to F off.
44:38 Speaker 02 It's true. I mean, it is, it's love. It's love. These are the nice, these are beautiful things you do. Um, I mean, I'm only saying this because I'm a few more years down the marriage track and maybe Jack has the same feeling, but that is a great little rehearsal of marriage. You are a Sherpa, you're a coat rack.
44:52 Speaker 03 You're a concierge.
44:53 Speaker 02 You're a, you're a concierge. You, um, you report directly to management, but you're not management. You have a great relationship with management. And you're often invited to drinks with them. And it would be nice one day to have them see you as management.
45:13 Speaker 03 Exactly.
45:13 Speaker 02 But they see you as a very, very, very reliable worker. Um, and, and there's nothing to be ashamed of there because you have the honour of serving management. And long may you have the honour.
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