Kate Berlant

Kate Berlant was seeing a few too many ghosts for a while. Amy hangs with the actress and comedian and talks about why you can't have two class clowns in bed, if she's a nepo baby, and why all curses should be lifted for free. Host: Amy PoehlerGuests: John Early and Kate BerlantExecutive producers: Bill Simmons, Amy Poehler, and Jenna Weiss-BermanFor Paper Kite Productions: Executive producer Jenna Weiss-Berman, coordinator Sam Green, and supervising producer Joel LovellFor The Ringer: Supervising producers Juliet Litman, Sean Fennessey, and Mallory Rubin; video producers Jack Wilson and Aleya Zenieris; audio producer Kaya McMullen; social producer Bridget Geerlings; video editor Drew van Steenbergen; and bookers Kat Spillane and Paige GarbariniOriginal music: Amy Miles Brought to you by PayPal. Learn more at https://paypal.com/payin4Switch today at https://www. Visible.com for just 25/mo. Or get the premium Visible+ pro plan and save $10 on your first month with code HANG. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking which group chat you're typing in before hitting send? Next thing you know, you sent a scalding hot take about the restaurant to the group with the person who picked it. Yikes. Yeah, checking first is a good idea, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Good Hang. We are very excited about our guest today. It is Kate Berlant, comedian, writer, actress. And if you know Kate's work, you are obsessed with her. And if you don't know it that well yet, you are going to become obsessed because Kate is here and we are obsessed with her. And we're going to talk about so many good things today. We are going to talk about, well, chimney sweeps. We're going to talk about our obsession with our phone. We're going to talk about how men actually feel about funny women. And we are going to talk about her new comedy special, Parmesan, which is on HBO, out right now, and is so good, and I cannot recommend it enough. Before we get talking to Kate, we always do something on our show where we talk to

• 1:18Speaker 00

  someone who knows our guest, has a question to give me about our guest, and we are going to talk to another fellow hilarious performer, writer, actor, John Early. You might know John from Search Party. You might know John from Maddie's Secret and the many various hilarious videos and specials that him and Kate have done together. So let's see if we can get John on the phone or the Zoom, however we're talking to you, John. Hi.

• 1:51Speaker 00

  This episode of Good Hang is presented by PayPal. Brighten up the start to the festive season by getting ahead of the holiday rush. Shop your favorite online stores with PayPal this holiday, like Sephora for gift sets, Target for toys and electronics, and TikTok Shop for fashion, apparel, and gadgets. Check out with the flexibility to pay now or pay later and split your payments with Pay in Four with no interest, no late fees. Shop now with PayPal. Pay in Four, subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com/payinfour. PayPal, Inc., NMLS 910457.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  John?

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Amy.

• 2:40Speaker 00

  Oh, my God, it worked.

• 2:45Speaker 00

  You know what I never really noticed, and I'm noticing right now? How blue those eyes are of yours.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  That's really sweet. Well, they are.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  They are blue.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  I'm kind of far back, or you're kind of far back. Are you, you're blue?

• 3:03Speaker 00

  I'm blue as well. Yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Okay, well.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  And I just read somewhere that we should be wearing sunglasses all the time.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  No, you're kidding.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Because it's, we're more susceptible to like vision damage?

• 3:18Speaker 00

  Sun damage, sun damaged eyes.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Wow. I have 2020, no offense.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  Brag. No, I do not. You still have 2020.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  I still do somehow.

• 3:31Speaker 00

  That's incredible.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  I do not. I've got reading, I've got glasses for reading, and it's going downhill really fast.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Kate has reading glasses. You guys could talk about that.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  John Early, it is really good to see you.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  It's so good to see you. I'm so starstruck.

• 3:48Speaker 00

  You're nuts.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  I am.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  John, right back at you. You know, we were, we were watching, we were rewatching Vicky with a V and Maddie's Secret before we got on, and we were, we were saying, like, there's certain people, when they, when they portray female characters, that it feels like aggressive.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 00

  And you.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  They're working through something.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  They're working through something.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  And I clearly am, too.

• 4:16Speaker 00

  Well, we all are.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  It's maybe, it's maybe more coming from some sort of childlike longing and not necessarily an aggression.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  No, it feels very nice. It feels like, it feels very, like, it just makes me feel nice and safe. It doesn't make me feel weird.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, thank God.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  For people that don't know, you and Kate have created so many works of art together. And you are like partners, but not partners. You do your own separate things always, but when you come together, there's like this special language, like there's a comedy language, but it always consists of this very thrilling deep dive into something. Like, it's always really deep and always funny.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  When did you first meet Kate? Let's talk about that origin story.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  We first met when I was, I guess we were both like 24, which was last year.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  And we, we met, okay, we met basically doing our mutual friends comedy show. And, you know, I just had never met someone around my age who, who was as funny as like my idols, you know?

• 5:40Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  It was so crazy. I always figured, you know, the people around me were, were all going to be kind of collectively trying to get to that level. We'll spend their whole lives and we'll always, and we'll always fail, you know, we'll always fall short. But I was like, she is just like right there. She's already there. She's like already in a Christopher Guest movie, you know, in my mind. And that night when we were separating, we were just kind of like, we kind of like said our vows to each other, and we were like, we were like, let's have a sleepover tomorrow. And we just like started our friendship the next day. We just like knew. And, and I went over to her apartment and we, we just did not separate really until she moved to LA.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  We spent like almost every single day together, every night together. I would literally run out of clothes. I would run out of underwear and from spending the night at her apartment so much. And I would just go to CVS and get a pack of Hanes. And I'd wear the same shirt and pants every day. And I would just run out of Hanes and go get a new pack.

• 6:49Speaker 00

  And because you're like, there's no way I'm leaving this apartment.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  I'm not going back to my apartment. I refuse. And we, and Amy, we slept in the same bed. And we literally, and the room was as big as the bed. Her, like, there was a foot of space on, on the, on one, two sides of the floor. It was tucked into a corner, you know? And we would just, we slept like angels. Like, that was the first thing we noticed. It was like, we were like, what is this like otherworldly sense of comfort we have with each other that we can share a bed?

• 7:21Speaker 00

  I'm sure you've been asked to explain this, but the stuff that you guys did together, how would you explain that type of comedy? If you were to have to explain the style of it? I can try, but I'd like to hear, I'd like to hear what you say.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Okay. Okay, yeah, it is really hard. I mean, obviously, one thing that we love to do is like, you know, passive aggression.

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  You know, we, we love it so much.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  Why do you love it so much? Why do you, why does Kate love it so much? Why do you love it? I mean, I do too, but what do we love about it?

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Well, I think, I think I love it because I come from like the South and which is like a really, you know, you could say the birthplace of.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Like, I come from kind of like Protestant world where like that is just in the water. It's just like you don't, you don't express your anger, so you, it has to come out another way. I think for Kate, she's, she's been around a lot of authoritative artistic people. And I think maybe that's where it comes from is like people who speak with a kind of like, I mean, avant-garde authority or whatever. It's like, there's, there's a way that that can be incredibly hostile, you know? While even if you're speaking in this very measured academic way, you know, you're like, and so maybe that's where it comes from for her.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  There's like a way in which you guys play around and, and her new special she does, in Parmesan, her new special she does this, where you play around with superiority?

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  Like, that's what you, you put that coat on and take it off. And of course, the other side of that is inferiority, always.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Right. It's like, and I think that if, if we're playing people who, and this is, I think, actually Kate's specialty is like this, this like, the foolishness of like authority and, you know, yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  That's so well said.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  I hope so.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  The certainty part is so real because especially like in today's culture, like we're surrounded by experts.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  It's so intense. And I really, I think it's time for Kate to kind of like seize her throne as like the great imitator of those things. She really can like, what, what's so crazy about working with her is like, I mean, it's like, it's awful for me because it's like, I'm like across from her, I'm like, cool, I have nothing. I'm like, I'm just like, how do you, I'm always shocked.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  I'm very sorry, but I disagree. I feel like I'm going to say right here, John, that your volley is, it is like Agassi and Sampras.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  I believe they played together. I hope they did. But it is that the back and forth is it is Federer and Nadal.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Excuse me. Well, you'll notice that I'm always I'm like always screaming.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, louder is funnier.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Well, I think she's also, and I'm sure you'll get into it minute one, but you know, she's an only child. And so there's like, there is such a, the only child has to like entertain themselves in the mirror, you know?

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Right.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  And, and, and she comes, you know, artist father, like, you know, she was around these very, at a very young age. I mean, she was like under the table, you know, as like with all these like kind of very like genius LA modern artists, abstract artists, probably having incredibly pretentious, indecipherable, illegible conversations, you know? And so I think she literally learned before she was like even conscious, she learned how to like imitate, just like absorb those sounds and like to, in order to participate because she was bored.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  Yes. Okay. Do you have a question for Kate today? Anything you think I should ask her?

• 11:22Speaker 01

  I have a few that you should pick from.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  Okay, great.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Like, some of them are just, they're kind of inside jokes.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Great. Perfect.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  But I actually think if you get into them, they will be deep.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Fantastic.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  They'll be generative. Okay, so one is, do you miss Paris?

• 11:41Speaker 00

  Fantastic. Do you miss Paris? Perfect question.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  One is, do you think you're funny?

• 11:46Speaker 00

  Oh, incredible. In Kate's special, she goes deep on this idea that comedy isn't funny and it's incredible. Because I agree.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Yes, it's not funny. And also, this is like, this is something that we, we make ourselves laugh very, very hard. We'll just like, if it's like suddenly a silence falls, like there's like a lull in the conversation, I'll be like, do you think you're funny?

• 12:12Speaker 01

  And like, and then we'll, and we'll try to answer and she'll do it back to me like, do you think you're funny? And then, and then I'll be like, do you think I'm funny?

• 12:19Speaker 01

  And then we're like, um, can I be honest?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  It's a favorite, it's a favorite. But I do think it, like, it's an inside joke, but she, if you actually ask her, something good could come out. One is, how are the kids?

• 12:39Speaker 00

  Perfect questions.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  One is related to the special, so are you gay or what?

• 12:47Speaker 00

  Yep, we're gonna get into it. Hopefully Kate really talks about how she's gay. I guess that's the way, the fastest way to put it. Yep. Okay, great. Are you gay or what?

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Final one is, shoes on or off?

• 13:01Speaker 00

  Shoes on or off?

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Like as a host.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  These questions are incredible.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  And did you get my email about Kate's no-fly zones?

• 13:09Speaker 00

  No.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  It's really long.

• 13:11Speaker 00

  Okay, good to know. I'm gonna look at it right now.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Good.

• 13:15Speaker 00

  Good. Thank you for that. Thank you.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Because she doesn't have a manager and no one will represent her. So I've taken it on as we're doing this special.

• 13:22Speaker 00

  Thank you for that. Yeah, that's important to see. And thank you for bolding everything and all caps. I appreciate that.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Okay, bye y'all.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  Folks, as we head into fall, we welcome yet another season of change, changing leaves, refreshed wardrobes and new routines. But one thing that doesn't need to change, your phone. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon for just $25 a month. That means keeping the phone you already love, ditching your overpriced phone bill and saving enough to get yourself a pumpkin spice all season long. All the perks of big wireless for half the cost. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code HANG. Terms apply. See visible.com for plan features and network management details.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  Get in frame. We cannot talk unless we're in frame.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  You gotta get them like this, Amy. You gotta, that fast now. Because they're.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  We gotta get you in frame. We cannot speak unless we're rolling.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Don't scroll past.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  You look amazing.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  There were lipsticks in the green room.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  And I thought, I was like, God, this is so classy. Like, everyone who comes, you get like, you get this huge box of lipsticks. And I'm going, I'm looking at the colors. And then I asked, and they were like, oh, um, yeah, Jennifer Lawrence left those a few, few months back.

• 15:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  And so you've had months, you've had months of guests who look at that, they go, I'm fine. I don't need to engage in that. I look at it, I already text it to my mother, my partner, my best friend. I'm like, we made it. And I'm taking it home.

• 15:14Speaker 00

  Actually, now you have to because you've touched all of them.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Well, they were, they were unused. I go, well, this is definitely a gift. This is a promotional gift to the guests.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  It absolutely is a gift now. It is, you're taking all of those lipstick home.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Anything free.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  Kate Berlant is here. Kate, on the drive over here, I just want to give you, I want to give you a compliment.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  I receive them well. I'm not one of these, who me? No. I'm like, please.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  Driving over here, I was filled with glee because I was like, this conversation is going to be so fun, so funny, so deep. I love seeing you and never get to. And like, this is a chance to just actually hang out with you.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  I loved your special. I watched it last night. It's so good.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Watching it. Thank you.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  You're welcome, because I don't always watch all of the things.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Well, I figured. I was doing dishes last night and I go, by the way, she's not gonna watch it. And I was fine. I know, she's so busy.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  Sometimes I just like, I can't get to it.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  You know I love you. Couldn't watch it, girl. I would have been like, of course, you have so much to do. The media that you're, it's too much.

• 16:17Speaker 00

  I couldn't wait to watch it and all of us watched it. Love it. But more than that, you are this giant brain, avant-garde, interesting artist who is also warm and nice. It's hard to find those two things.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 16:34Speaker 00

  Sometimes people are like really nice, but maybe not adventurous in their art. And sometimes people are like really prickly, sharp, interesting artists who maybe don't want to talk.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  You, to me, are like the perfect combination of those two things. You talk about things that I am obsessed with. Everything in your special is hitting me in such a deep way. And I love your work and you. So Kate Berlant is here. Okay, bye.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  That was all on a prompter, just for people at home. It seems authentic. She, I saw her and I go, and then everything she said. No, I love you so much. You're, thank you. That's like, I, I, that's such kind words. It means so much to me. And I

• 17:15Speaker 02

  grew up with a picture of you on my wall. I mean, this is something we get to that will, you know, I've told you this, I had the Upright Citizens Brigade manifesto printed out on where the words, where the text gets really, really tiny at the bottom. Like, I'm very like.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  We have had the pleasure of being in each other's simulations for a lot of our lives. We, we have. And like, the topics that you talk about always speak to me, but this latest special is.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Oh, I can't wait.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Okay, I want to start there before we get into the bigger picture of your life because it is so top of mind. And you talk about the things that I love, phones and our love of my, my phone is my best friend. Hair.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  I talk about hair?

• 17:59Speaker 00

  Well, I talk about your hair in my mind when I watch it.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, totally. Thank you.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  You don't talk about hair, but I want to talk about your hair. It is.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  I got a haircut three days ago. Can you believe it? The one that cuts my hair. She's amazing.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  With a haircut?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Go on Fairfax, go get her. She goes, a few times I go, she had me cut like an inch, just an inch. She goes, I want extreme length for you. And those words, I want extreme length for you. I want extreme length. And now people, I'm like, it's extreme length. I'm not gonna go, I'm not going waist.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  I noticed that your hair was longer than usual and I was, I was thrilled by it. I love extreme length for you.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Okay, thank you.

• 18:36Speaker 00

  Also, you talk about the hell of being a woman and how you, you know, rather have it no other way, basically. Like the combo of like what we are, what we are always negotiating with and that we wouldn't trade it for anything. Like, that's what it feels like when I hear your work.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  And so for people who are, who are maybe getting to know Kate for the first time on this podcast, Kate is a comedian and actress and artist. And she has a new special on HBO called Parmesan. And I would, I would, if you don't mind.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Don't even bother tuning in.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  I mean, but why is it called Parmesan?

• 19:18Speaker 02

  Why is it called Parmesan? So you know, you hear this thing, people go, oh, here's a temp title. I'm not gonna call it Parmesan. That would be insane. And it's one of those things that just, I, it was just, it was making me laugh because it was just so ridiculous and stupid. I think like, I was talking to Chelsea Peretti and she was like, oh, you're doing a special. What's it called? I said Parmesan and she just laughed and I was like, okay. Because it, it's just so deeply unserious and ridiculous. And what could that possibly relate to? And by the way, the special isn't about food in any way.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  Right. Even though you, you love to talk about food, you love restaurants.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  I mentioned restaurants, but, but, uh, but no, Parmesan, if, when, when you watch the special, you'll see it does reference a joke in the, in the special.

• 19:55Speaker 00

  And, and not to, to, to spoil the joke, but it's about this idea of what we comment on. What draws us to comment as people on social media and on our phones? Like what we think is a way in which we're gonna connect with what we're reading? And the existential dilemma of that.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  Can you talk a little bit about how addicted you are to your phone? Because I am too, and I genuinely, genuinely, genuinely am.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  I relapsed so hard.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  Do you, do you have work a program?

• 20:30Speaker 02

  By the way, I have gone to ITAA meetings, Internet Technology Addiction Anonymous. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that.

• 20:36Speaker 00

  I actually would.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  No, there's, there's 12 step.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  Save a seat for me, as they like to say.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  I've done the Zooms twice, but, but still, I was still, I shared. But I, like, we do need help because we are in the fight for our lives.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  And it's the kind of thing that it's become, it's like the weather. It's like this thing that we're just in and it kind of feels like, why bring it up? Why talk about it? But I, I can, you know, I've gone on, on, I was, I had six weeks of sobriety. I did a six week cleanse, nothing. I've done, I've done a month a few times.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Okay, can you just step me through this? What do you mean by nothing?

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Okay, so, nothing, me in a room, no. So what it is, is by nothing, I mean, no social media whatsoever.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, sure, sure.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  So I still have email and I'm still texting 24/7 and doing anything else.

• 21:24Speaker 00

  But no scrolling.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  No scrolling.

• 21:26Speaker 00

  And no, yeah, and not looking at Instagram reels and TikTok and no social media, not posting anything.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  None of that.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  And the six week was really good. And I said, I go, I'm not going back this time. I was telling everyone, I was like, no, I'm out. Yeah, no, I'm out, I'm, I'm out. And I am right back. And like last night, I found myself, I was like, got home late and I was like, I've had a long day of working. You know what? I'm gonna unwind, curl up on the couch and I, and I'm, and that's the moment when it becomes infused with this feeling of rest, like this is rest and it's not. It's actually chipping away in the digital labor minds. And so, you know, and I'm like, and so, I mean, I have it in the bath now.

• 22:10Speaker 00

  Of course I have it in the bath.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Because I was doing baths, no phone, and I go, baths, no phone. And suddenly it's 1904 and I'm a novelist and it's like, and by the way, when you go off your phone, I have found three weeks of no scrolling, memories. I'm driving, childhood memories. Like it's unbelievable. I'm like, I'm back in the kitchen and I'm 10 years old and my father comes in. Like, like, it's like my brain is like, thank you. It's opening up and it's flooding me with images and, and it's like, you just start to think again. You start to be more intimate with your life. And that's the thing that's the most devastating. We can talk about, of course, the, the, you know, the, this, the horror machine of this and like the fascistic machine of it and all of that. But then just on the base level, like on a personal psychological level, like you've lost all intimacy with yourself.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  And like, that's the, that's the, the crisis of it. It's just so devastating. And once you get a little bit of that intimacy, you're like, all right, no, this is actually, this is really medicinal.

• 23:06Speaker 00

  I mean, this is why I love talking to you. You can, we can go deep end so fast and then you also have jokes. Okay, me? Another thing that chilled me to the bone and made me laugh out loud, um, while I was listening to the, your special, on my phone. I watched it on my phone, so sorry. Is, um, the idea about how men say they want to be with funny women, but they hate funny women.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Let's go there.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  Honey, it is, it like, it, it's giving me a flush right now, actually, to think about it. It was so funny. Now, the idea, the sentiment of like, funny women being a threat isn't necessarily a new one. But the way in which you present this idea, which is, let me just for a minute trouble this, what, and, and present what men actually want.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  What do you think in your way that is? Like, can we talk about that for a second? How did you come up with that? Do you have just a lifetime of being funny?

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Well, I can actually tell you, so I, there's this like central memory, which I've been like a ham and a goof since I was like a baby, right? But I remember, so I went to an all-girls school and I'm strung, my girls are going to single-sex, okay? You got to separate.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  Did you like single-sex school? Did you like?

• 24:25Speaker 02

  What do you think, sweetie? Yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Free and then never free again, graduated and was never free. Yeah, no, I, I, like, thank God. And I started comedy, I did stand-up for the first time when I was 17 at my high school.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  I read this in the basement of your high school.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, but anyway, but, so I was always, of course, you know, the class clown, all of that. And then I, one day after school, I was 14, 15, maybe 15, after school with really cool, and like a cool guy, like after school, there's like two cool guys in the room, drum kit, listening to Neil Young Harvest, like, what's this? Yeah, it's pretty cool. Like doing that.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  With my friend who was a gorgeous, like Pac Sun model, you know, like truly. And she's over there and I'm here like, like talking to the guys.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  And this guy who was like the really popular, cool guy, he was laughing and he was like, God, you know, you're really funny. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, you should be careful though, guys don't like funny girls because it reminds them too much of other guys. I remember I was leaning against the wall, I was sitting on the bed like this, leaning against the wall. And it was like, by the way, thank you for the truth and the honesty.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  I was gonna say, I was gonna say, that's an unbelievable gift.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  There it is.

• 25:35Speaker 00

  There it is.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  And.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  He was not wrong.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  I heard it, it went in and I went, yeah, I'm gonna carry this weight for the rest of my life. And it, and it was like, it's really, so, so yeah, I've been kind of like teasing that out.

• 25:52Speaker 00

  Yes. Well, because also there's, the, the bigger thing also behind it is there's obviously, like, to be funny is to be a little embarrassing and men hate being embarrassed.

• 26:04Speaker 02

  And to go like this. Everyone's like, why? It's like, no, it's because you're going, it's like, that's why. They're not kissing you.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  That's, but it's confused.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  It's manifold. And by the way, if you, I want to just say this to clear the record, of course, there are guys who like, you know, of course, I've dated them, you've dated, we've all, of course, they exist. It's like, this does exist, it's true. It's like, if you're doing comedy, you're, you know, it's a historically masculine role, you know, in society, whatever. It, it just creates this like rupture. It's like a weird like gender performance thing that people are like, oh, like it just, it's, it's.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  Yes, rupture, exactly right.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Divine rupture, I might argue, a divine rupture.

• 26:49Speaker 00

  One that's needed in our culture.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  There's people who were voted class clown women. And in my school, the class clowns that were women were like bad, bad girls.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  You know what's funny? So I was a good girl in the sense that I slept at the foot of my parents' bed, you know, my entire life. Emotionally, I was at the foot. And so I was like a good girl, like loved school, loved my friends, was like, teacher, teacher. You know, like I, you know, um, but I did have a little bit of like the, the mischievous, like, okay. I, so a bit of a prankster, benevolent pranks, never hurt anyone. But I'm recalling live, which is amazing because on the drive, here I go, what are the stories? What's my life? And there's nothing. And then I'm going, it's coming up, it's coming, I'm having memories. Okay.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  So like something that I used to do was, you know, like the big dropdown, this is, I could be arrested for this, actually. The big dropdown maps, like at school of the world and America. So my little thing that I did is like, I'm gonna steal those from my, from my bedroom. So I, so I would jump up, unscrew them and walk out. And if you're walking, if you're 16 and you're walking with the, the map of the world out of the class, they go, oh, she's supposed to do that, obviously. Someone asked her to move that to the basement or whatever. So I really got my rocks off doing that. And I do have a bit of a klepto, I've squashed it.

• 28:07Speaker 00

  I, I, I also have a bit of a klepto.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, women and stealing and kleptomaniac is very interesting and very, and because in a world where we feel like, you know, we've been stolen from.

• 28:18Speaker 00

  I love what you've said about makeup, how you feel that women should be able to steal.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, safely and from big, you know, not my and Paws, but from the big guys. Take a little blush, it's fine. Yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  We deserve it.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  You're owed that blush because the blush is mandatory.

• 28:32Speaker 00

  Right, and nobody's paying for it. The government is not paying for our blush.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  Tampons and blush, that should be free.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  And then you also speak about the difference between dating men and dating women. Because in the special, you, congratulations, you are gay now.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  Bye, Amy. Confuse Amy.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  I say gay is a shorthand because a lot of people now, bisexual, bisexual femme walks in, they go, "Oh, what? You kissed a girl in the eighth grade?" Right? I'm going, "No, I'm living that life, actually."

• 29:09Speaker 00

  Right.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, this is so funny because I talk about something special, like, I'm genuinely obsessed with sexuality, my sexuality. And it's like, I also think there's this, like, I grew up with this narrative of like, if you, you know, come out later in life, it's because you had this secret. And you were like jerking off in private and you were like, "No, no, no." You know what I mean? It's like, that's not what my life was at all.

• 29:30Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Like, I just was like, always with men. I fell in love with a woman. This like other like room opened and I was like, "Oh."

• 29:37Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  And then, of course, and then I reflect back and I go, "Oh, my God." And so then I can be like, "Wait, wait, wait. So was it always?" I was like, my obsession with my P E teacher in, you know, the fourth grade. I'm like, "What's that?" She was gay.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  They all were. No, but like I go back and so, but I guess I'm less interested in like, locking in to a certain category, mostly because I think what's interesting is like failing. And what's funny is like failing within those categories. Like, I'm a failed straight woman, for sure.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  But I'm still like, "I love them all and I love the beautiful," you know, like, it's like, like, so, what? But then, but, but I, like, I'm also like a failed gay woman.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  Right. If I may, the thing you said, which I have never heard articulated, which, and that's why it was so incredible, because you're, because you've kind of lived in both worlds.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  It's hot. It's hot.

• 30:29Speaker 00

  Right?

• 30:29Speaker 02

  It's hot. Okay, sorry.

• 30:31Speaker 00

  Because you've lived in both worlds, the perspective of, from kind of being like on the other side, looking almost like back at what was like a way of living. And the realization that you came to, which is just, again, the comedic realization, but like all of your stuff steeped in such truth, is that heterosexual relationships between men and women kind of are often helpful to women who don't want to be seen. And it is.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  There it is.

• 31:03Speaker 00

  It is.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  That's what fascinated me because I was like, and by the way, I've had beautiful relationships with men. But it's like, it's really fascinating to, I did, when I kind of started to like be in like gay relationships, I was like, "Oh, like, are," I truly was like, "Okay, are all women," are women, I believe that straight women exist. But is that also?

• 31:29Speaker 00

  For people listening, Kate made a face.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  But, and I, and I was like, "But is that also just their way of being left alone in a way?" And I was like, "And there's validity to that." And like, obviously, I'm also speaking like, "Everyone relax." Okay, I know there's straight people that are in love and they're, you know, screaming, laughing, whatever. But, but there is, there is this inherent distance. There's always distance between people, even in queer relationships, of course. But there is this like, there's this deep distance between men and women. And I am also, I think it's hard when you're a comedian, when you're a class clown, when you're an actor. I can really love the performance of being of femininity, and God bless. And I'm attracted to masculinity. I love that performance. So I think there's something, there's something that is always strange when,

• 32:15Speaker 02

  it's only when people don't know they're performing that it starts to get scary.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  That's exactly right. Like, it was one of my questions I wanted to ask you, which is, you're very good at this, and we work with a lot of people that are good at this, which is we can mirror what people want us to be. Like, we can just get in there and just be like, "I'm this person." And the question for you is like, I think the part of like growing up and figuring yourself out is knowing like, that's actually expensive, like it takes something.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. The way, the full performances I'm doing, in case someone sees. I was just talking about this on my podcast, Pug. But like, airplanes are really places where these performances and gender really comes pronounced. So like the other day, I was getting onto a plane and I had a carry-on luggage to put overhead. And there was a guy right opposite and, and I kind of did this thing and he was like, "Oh, like, do you want help with that?" Whatever. I was like, "Yeah, do you mind? Sorry." You know, whatever. And then he lifted it up and then I said to him, I don't know why, I go, "I have a shoulder thing. I'm trying to not aggravate."

• 33:14Speaker 00

  And you made that up?

• 33:15Speaker 02

  So, yeah, completely, completely fake. And then I found myself going, "Oh, shit, now I have to kind of like do this shoulder injury." I had another bag, a lighter bag to lift up. And so I kind of lifted it up, but then kind of like, like I tried to overcompensate, you know? And by the way, he very well is buried, buried in a book. He's not even looking. But I'm locked into the performance lest he glance over.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  And then when we landed, six hours later, I go, "Time to get the show back on the road." And then I was doing kind of.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  For who?

• 33:46Speaker 02

  For who, Amy?

• 33:48Speaker 00

  Who is watching? I know.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  It's like to kind of think they're watching.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  Well, you know who's watching? I'm, I'm watching. Like, that's the thing is like, the idea that, like, who we, who are we? Like, what self is the real self is a non-stop delightful journey for me.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  It's absolutely endless and it's like, this is, and this is where also sex. Sorry, I said it. Someone had to.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  First time it's been mentioned here.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  It's like, like, and that's why I think honestly, class clowns, and this is where it can get hard, funny on funny, two class clowns in bed, it can get complicated.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  You're right.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Like, that actually sounds like, "Oh, God, I don't know." You kind of need someone to go, "Snap the," like, no. You need someone to be like, "Ah, fuck." Like, unselfconsciously.

• 34:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Like, like, because I do, it's complicated.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  I'm obsessed with your relationship to your own body on stage because like, to be looked at is already so intense. And the way you use your body to like ground yourself in performance is so interesting for me to watch. You, like, like a dancer, I can feel the way that you, when, I don't know, when it feels like you regulate your thoughts or anxiety or emotions by the way you move.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  No, I'm laughing. I love it because I've never heard, no one's ever seen me before, so thank you. Being seen for the first time live. But, um, no, but, but it is actually, you're right. I've never, no one's ever said that or put that, no one's ever put this to me in these terms, but it is how I self-regulate. Like, it's like, even like, it's like, it's like, that is.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  No, no, you are correct. And like, I, you know, love physical comedians, like I, that's always what gets me. And like, I've made crazy faces, I can't stop, help, you know? But, but that is how I get back inside my body, I think.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, it made me think about my own stuff.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Me during text? It's like, "Oh, God, no." But, yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, it made me think about like, Mike, I just did it now, like, my own laughing. Like, I love to laugh and everyone's like, "I love to laugh and laughing is so good for us." And also laughing for me is expelling anxiety. Like, it is a way to just like get, shake out whatever is the feeling that I'm having. And anytime, dancing is the same way for me, but it takes me so long to realize that that is why I'm doing something. Because I think especially if you're like in the comedy world or you're like a big thinker, like you're, you're just like, our brain, we just, I use, I'm like brain forward a lot and I have to remind myself I have a body.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This, no, no, no, no.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  Okay. Anesthesia culture, you're talking.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I talk about anesthesia culture. Look it up if you have to. Educate yourself now.

• 36:37Speaker 00

  It's so funny, you guys. Fuck, I can't give away the joke, but please watch it. But why, you talk about this idea that when we're under and we come to, how cocky the people are that we're awake are.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  We can talk about it. It's a throwaway moment in the special, I guess you could say.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  It's so funny.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  But I talk about kind of going, not enjoying going under anesthesia. Because I don't like waking up and the idea that everyone in the room is like laughing at you, that you've been asleep the whole time. Like, it's like, if you're a performer, it's like, you're, you have to go under to go off. Like, you know, it's like, because it's like, I'm sure you're like me where it's like, "Oh, I can turn off." Of course, like comedians want to get serious, like, we're like, but the only time you're free. By the way, I'm hamming it up. As I was going under, I remember this, the guy was, as my anesthesia, I'm like, "God, you look like Griffin Dunn." Why the first one was? Like, like, I was going so hard, also because if I'm nervous,

• 37:38Speaker 02

  and if I'm in a medical situation, so I have a lot of medical anxiety, this is going to be, this is going to be the next special because I just got like a completely unnecessary angiogram.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  Oh, actually, I mean, we could talk about this forever because you, I'm obsessed with this idea that we are now giving ourselves too much information that's making us very stressed.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  Oh, of course.

• 37:57Speaker 00

  Yes. And so you, you had an angiogram.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  I went a little hard on my neck with a Heizu Instagram. Yeah, Instagram advertised to me this neck massager. I go, "Sure, bought it." And then I was going really, really hard and I go, "Oh, it's a little too, it's a little too hard there." And then I started looking up and I go, "Oh, well, then, you know, the veins, the arteries here, you want to be really careful." I go, "The arteries in the neck, oh, God." And then I texted, yeah, texted my doctor. And she really regrets the day she gave me that. And, and she was like, "I'm sure you're fine, whatever," but I'm so, I have that kind of like sensation anxiety and stuff that I was like, "Oh, I think something." So then I call Cedars, I talk to the doctor and they're like, "We could order you a C T scan." I mean, if you want to get an angio, I mean, what's that, they go in, they inject you with, you know, your veins with dye

• 38:44Speaker 02

  and the whole thing. And I go, "Well, that's insane." So I'm putting it off, putting it off. And then I go, "I could do it next week." So then I'm being wheeled into the room.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  And everyone, you know, they're taking, they do the test and everyone's kind of looking at me because I'm by far the youngest people in this. So I think people are kind of going, "Poor woman, like, what's going on with her?" And so I start going, "It's probably nothing. You know the Heizu?" Yeah. Went a little hard with the Heizu, let's say.

• 39:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's too much.

• 39:14Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by PayPal. Shine at gift giving this year by planning ahead. Shop your favorite online stores with PayPal this holiday like Sephora for gift sets, Target for toys and electronics, and TikTok Shop for fashion apparel and gadgets. Check out with the flexibility to pay now or pay later and split your payments with Pay in four with no interest, no late fees. Shop now with PayPal. Pay in four is subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com slash pay in four. PayPal, Inc., NMLS 910457.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Purchase new carpet from The Home Depot and get it installed for free right now. Shop the stylish choices and simple pricing of carpet from Home Decorator's Collection, Traffic Master, or Life Proof with Pet Proof Technology and see for yourself why nobody beats our prices. Enjoy new carpet with free installation right now at The Home Depot. Offer valid October 15 through November 1st, 2026. Exclusions apply. For licenses, see home depot.com slash license numbers.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  The action's on the court. And as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting fans closer to the game with a chance to win courtside seats, merch, and more. Visit michelobultra.com/courtside to enter. Michelob Ultra Courtside, 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026 and ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  Let's go to Kate as a child.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Okay, I skipped the whole kid thing. Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, you were born as an adult.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  Born 30.

• 41:31Speaker 00

  Were you, as a little, little Kate in LA, in Los Angeles, artist's parents?

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was really hard. Yeah. The rough side of Santa Monica.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  I was gonna say, you were in Santa Monica.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not in the industry. They're not in the industry. Let's just get that ahead.

• 41:48Speaker 00

  What kind of artists are they?

• 41:50Speaker 02

  So my dad works in metal collage. It was funny, I was, this was huge for me a few years ago. There was like a New York Magazine piece about nepo babies and they, and my face was in it next to like, like Chalamet. I was like, I'm famous? I'm like, what is this? And it was like, daughter of a sculptor. You know, I was like, trust me doll, hasn't gotten me work. You know what I mean? And then like my mom did prop design and she did make the Stonehenge prop in Spinal Tap famously. So, and that was also there cited as nepotism. And I go, guys.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  A little bit of a stretch.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  It's a little bit of a stretch.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  But my mom, my mom was a stay at home mom, if we can even say that now, right? They're taking that away. So, but you know, a debut creative person.

• 42:35Speaker 00

  Did you grow up with, did you grow up with artists around the house chatting about art?

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yes, that's all, I'm an only child. My parents' friends did not have kids, so it really was like me at the, at the dining, at the dining room table with the adults being like, all right, so I'm gonna say two. And I think that was intensely informative.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  And did you feel like, I mean, I'm sure you've spoken about it a lot. You might have talked about it in your, in your specials, but what is the only child dilemma? What is like the best?

• 43:06Speaker 00

  Or is there one? Is there one? Like, what's the good and bad thing about being an only child?

• 43:11Speaker 02

  I don't know. I mean, I, having siblings, I don't know. I don't really like, sharing my mommy? I don't think so, Amy. Number one, please. Yeah. So sharing my mommy would have been hard, but I think, you know, as you age, you go, oh, it would be helpful, but then also you, you never know what you're gonna get. I mean, people have siblings and it's like they're helpful when, when shit's falling apart. So, so I don't know.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  Your sibling relationship is often the longest relationship in your life, which I, and I was like, whoa. I read that and I was like, wow, because that is, they, you know, like.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  And don't complicate it with sex.

• 43:47Speaker 00

  Never.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Because that's the thing, they really, don't shit where you eat, guys.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  Exactly, guys. If you could take away one thing from Kate.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  So you're like this, like precocious kid in a way? Were you, did you feel older than you were when you were a kid?

• 44:01Speaker 02

  But I think I'm watching, I think so much of what I, like through mimicry, like I remember like when I saw Erin Brockovich, I started doing my homework in heels, you know, like.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Like, like, for real. And I was like, yeah, I'm into this.

• 44:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  And so I think that like watching movies, watching people like be smart or sound smart. It was kind of like, yeah, I'm gonna kind of just like take that.

• 44:32Speaker 00

  Okay. And then you did some crazy early jobs. And is it true that you were a voice actor in Texas for a call in radio show?

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 44:40Speaker 00

  Is that true? Okay. What's that?

• 44:41Speaker 02

  I don't know where I got hooked up with this, but it was a thing where you would do, like, so for call in radio shows where they're like, morning radio where they're like, yeah, so we got here, guy and a girl went on a first date. The girl, let's just say she doesn't have a face or whatever. You know, so it's like, these like, and then, but they're being presented as real. So I would play and they go like, we got, we, okay, so we have her on the line. She has no idea that we're, that we're listening in, so we're just gonna call. So I would pretend to be the person who's like, hello? You know, and, and I did, I think like one, and yeah, it was like, and then the, like the casting, whenever it's like, she was like, you're good at this. She's like, you're good at this. Because there was one where I had to pretend to be crying. It's devastating. It was like they're humiliating this woman on air and I have to be like, wait, what?

• 45:27Speaker 02

  I'm on the radio?

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Like really sad. I mean, that was what sent up. Okay, I was doing it, I was grounded, I was Laura Linney with the, you know.

• 45:34Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  But yeah, I did that a few times and I think I'd get paid, I mean, I think I, you know, I would get paid like 75 bucks or something. I don't know. But it was, I'd have to wake up like 4 a.m. because it was, the time difference. So they'd call me and I'd like wake up out of bed sleep and be like, oh, my God, no. Yeah.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  That's so interesting.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then I slept through one.

• 45:55Speaker 00

  Oh, you missed your call.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  They're like, they're like, we need you, Dallas radio, 7 a.m. Who knows where I was? I woke up, I saw the missed calls. Fired, never again. I get it.

• 46:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  They need to depend on you because of the radio. Yeah.

• 46:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. And they had, then on their side, they had to improvise like, oh, we can't get ahold of her. They must have been furious.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  I mean, there is hell hath no fury like a radio DJ.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  They have to, the segment suffers and they can never bring you back.

• 46:22Speaker 00

  And, you know, we cannot talk about like your early, early career, like starting out without talking about John Early, speaking of Early, because John Early and you, let's talk about John for a second. Because the way you guys interact together scratches a comedic itch for so many people. Why do you think that is? What is it that?

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Amazing sex.

• 46:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yes.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  When you can connect on that somatic level with someone, it can't help but reflect in the work.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  John, you know, it's like, it is like, you know, one of the great loves of my life, John Early, like we did, we are, we like met in this very like whirlwind, like romantic way where it was like we met and then in a very lesbian fashion, like we're inseparable and he slept in my bed for like three years. And I was like, why can't I get a man? I was like, see? It's hard. It's different for me. Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  And John, we met, yeah, we met on set of a friend's short film and we had like, he'd messaged me on Facebook or something and I was like, who's this? And then I watched a video of his and I was like, oh, he's really funny.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  We were trying to break it down today because we're such fans of your work alone, of course, and with John. And with John, I'm not like the biggest, I get a little stressed when people come at each other pretty hard, like in comedy, like I'm, I'm not a big roast fan, like, but the way you two gently knife each other in the stuff that you do is like fascinating to watch.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  I think it's funny for us because like we don't, similarly, I don't want to be roasted or ever roast anyone. And like John is, you know, like from the South and like, John's the last, like, so I think our, like, that's a place for us to like go there.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  And but very much behind this like character mask, of course. But yeah, I don't know why, it's funny because we are, like, there's been times where over the years we've been like, but we're not mean. Like, like people are like, you guys are vicious. Like, and it's like, no, it's not like, that's not what it is.

• 48:35Speaker 00

  No, it's not.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  I mean, I don't, I don't know exactly.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  And it feels like there's like some border around it that's surface level, which is always so funny when people are not acting the way they're feeling. That's just like inherently funny.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Well, I think that's exactly what it is. And like, we just like, the failed performance, to say it again, like when people think that they're covering and they're not. And when people are using the social niceties to cover, like, and like that is just heaven.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  It's heaven. Me too. Like when someone is angry and they are like trying to conduct a meeting or something is heaven.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 00

  How are you with conflict? What's your conflict style?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  What do you mean? Con, sorry, say the word again, conflict? Sorry, I missed it.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  When something like that happens, do you get filled? I get filled with a little bit of excitement.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Adrenaline. Oh, you mean like what, like two, well.

• 49:24Speaker 00

  Conflict is.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Watching people fight through the, my favorite thing in the world is screaming fight on the street, safely watching from the window. That and my heart beating through my chest. Yeah.

• 49:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, totally. Do you, do you have a like direct conflict style? Do you, do you feel like, what, when you're angry about something, what does it look like?

• 49:43Speaker 02

  It's a, it's a really interesting question that my therapist should be asking me and she's not, so there's an issue there that we'll explore later.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  You should yell at her.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Maybe I withdraw.

• 49:54Speaker 00

  I'm wondering.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  I'm probably going to go with withdraw.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Gun to my head, withdraw.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  Withdraw.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  No, I think, I've talked about it a lot, so I won't get into it, but like I had a really upsetting incident with a chimney sweep a couple of years ago.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  I'll just say quickly.

• 50:12Speaker 00

  Just say quickly.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  He came into my home. Came into my home, doing a chimney sweep. I go, I go, oh, he has like no drop cloths. I go, okay, so now I'm getting into the forensic details. But I was like, white couch, white thing. I just moved in. I go, oh, do you have like, and this is, this is funny. Do you have like drop cloths or anything? And he goes, and he kind of like laughs. He's like, I'm fine. And I go, okay, he's a chimney sweep. Well, I'm gonna come here. He knows how to do his job.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, God forbid.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  So I go, okay, I'm gonna let you, I go into bed, I come back. Amy.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Soot on the white couch, soot on the curtain set, in the hallway. I go like this, there's soot, and I'm like,

• 50:50Speaker 02

  there's soot in the home. And he kind of did the same like, I mean.

• 50:54Speaker 00

  Gaslight city.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  By the way, and here's where I, here's, I, I paid, so not full, because I'm in there in the kitchen thing. And then I go, I can't pay you full price. Gets the boss on the phone, those whole thing. He goes, maybe your house was dirty.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. Sweetie, say it again. Dirty.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  And you're basically being held hostage too. Like, you have to pay because you want him out of your house.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I want the chimney sweep gone. And it's so sad because I had an amazing chimney sweep earlier, years before, I couldn't find his number. And he had drop cloths and he had respect.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  And so, but I, I'll just say, that night, went to bed, literally permanent TMJ, like, one night of clenching from the chimney sweep. And that, years later, so I should be going to court. And the, and the tension on this job, sprawled the face down. Okay, so the tension on this side, so I'm losing work, okay, from that. So the chimney, so one night, so that wasn't, that was an experience where I could have gone harder in the moment. I didn't, because I was just like, kind of panicked and sad by what had happened.

• 51:50Speaker 00

  Let's break down. You also didn't go harder in the moment because you've got somebody in your house.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, totally.

• 51:55Speaker 00

  It's not a safe situation.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  It's a man.

• 51:56Speaker 00

  It's a man in your house for real.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:58Speaker 00

  And also.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  That's when I wanted a husband. I go, Eric. You know, like, that's when you, that's when you want that.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  You want to call for Eric, because Eric, Eric comes down from his study. And he's like, hey, man.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And then I go, and I go, yeah, and I walk away.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  You walk away.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  They get to have it out.

• 52:13Speaker 00

  And you can hear Eric yelling a little bit.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  And you get like a little.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Eric's getting a BJ tonight.

• 52:19Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. So that dynamic's fun. And I get that. Yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. Okay, so John Early, we spoke to him before this podcast, because we always speak to somebody who knows our guests. And John gave us some amazing, um, questions for you.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, okay.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  So here we go. John wants to know a couple of things.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 52:39Speaker 00

  Do you miss Paris?

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  Okay. John wants to know, do you think you're funny?

• 52:50Speaker 00

  Yes. Great. Um, John wants to know, how are the kids?

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 52:59Speaker 00

  Congrats.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  It's just, you know, yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  They're at a really fun age.

• 53:07Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cool. What age is that?

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Just right around that area where you go, they're becoming, they're, they're them, but they're you, and it's.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  But you do know how old they are, yeah?

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, good.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Four-ish.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  Four-ish, yeah. Um, John wants to know, so are you gay or what?

• 53:25Speaker 02

  John will do that to me. It's so funny. Like, he'll text me out there and go, are you gay? Bye. What is it?

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Or my favorite, then like, I'll be doing a show and John will be like, just remember.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  I'll go, this show is broken because you are broken.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  It's really funny.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  To me, the love language of comedy people is my favorite thing in the world.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  He will leave a voicemail for me and he'll be like, it's just so, like, like, yesterday, so embarrassed. She's, she's promoting her special and she's doing these press appearances and it's just like, oh, my God. Meanwhile, you know, HBO, they're not gonna release it. I've already been on the phone with them. They're holding it back. And there she's trotting out in her little outfits. And then he'll be like, oh, my God, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, and hang up. Oh, kill. He pretends he's calling someone else. Or he pretends to be over her, he's accidentally leaving it on my machine.

• 54:22Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  It's really funny.

• 54:24Speaker 00

  That to me feel, makes me feel so safe and loved.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  It's really sweet.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  And then shoes on or off?

• 54:31Speaker 02

  Off.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  Always.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  In the home, off.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  So when someone comes to your home, do you say, please take your shoes off?

• 54:39Speaker 02

  So I have, I have a small home, to quote the handyman who came to the house when I first moved in. And this is a direct quote, never have I seen a house so small. And that was the exact delivery, that was the exact language used. I go, wow, that's small. I mean, I don't have Eric. I don't have a rich husband. You know, I go, I thought, you know. And then I'll just say, a couple of days later, he returned and he goes, do you have many more things to move into this very small home? And by the way, living when there was no couch, there was nothing. I go, well, yeah, I have to bring in the furniture. And he go, and I go, but there's not that much. And he goes, that's good because it's so small.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  So, because the house is small, I don't have a grand foyer, you know, there's no room for a shoe rack. So we had, kind of have like a horrifying pile, a little pile by the front door. So it depends, depending on, I'll kind of be like, take them off. If I just, you know.

• 55:31Speaker 00

  Do you put on a house slipper?

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I have, I have multiple house slippers.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  This is what, thank you. Another reason why I love you, Kate, is because I know you love things and you really, and I would say that one of the things that's so amazing about you and Jacqueline on Pug, which is an incredible podcast, and congrats on that, the success of that. Because it's so funny and good. And you guys, for people that don't know, Pug, like, deep dives into products in a way, much like how we're talking today, where Kate and Jacqueline Novak, a super talented writer, performer, they like, talk about a red light mask and then somehow get to Dante's Inferno very fast.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  It's very high meets low.

• 56:15Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  And it's very, you know, we started Pug in COVID.

• 56:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  And really kind of started as a way, Pug, goop backwards, get it? Okay, so, and kind of as like a wellness, beauty podcast, but really also just a way that we could get free stuff, which has been incredible. And so we were like, people will send us these products and then, you know.

• 56:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  So, but, but, and also kind of this idea of like, searching for the right product. And that, and there, there's this misconception that you want to find the right product. You actually don't. You want to engage in the, in the search forever. The search is kind of, you know, the ego loves to search and never to find. And we'll just let that sit.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  Three, two, one. And so, that constant manic belief that there is this product out there, this person out there, this thing out there. And then, then you're gonna arrive and you're gonna be whole and you're gonna be healed, you're gonna be beautiful. It's like, we, we on some level, we know that's not coming. But it's really fun to go and try the serums, I think it's doing something. And to have fun, a new lipstick, I mean, like, there's pleasure in that.

• 57:12Speaker 00

  Yes. And so on Pug, you guys talk about things, and I love listening to it because, like you, I am in the pursuit for like, the platonic best thing for the thing. Like, as if my life is gonna get smaller and simpler if I just get the right thing. But I do want to know what shoe you bought for your house shoe.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  So, this is kind of cheating because it is, it was a gift.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  But I'm gonna go with a classic, ugh, sorry, ugh. There's so many different kinds of slippers. And I, but actually, I paid out of pocket. I purchased the ultra mini, um, boot that's like under the ankle almost.

• 57:50Speaker 00

  Okay, yes.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  Um, this, uh, kind of like.

• 57:53Speaker 00

  Does it have a fur lining? Like, is it, okay.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  So by the way, even today, 140 degrees, getting into the boot first thing.

• 57:59Speaker 00

  You are. You have to keep your feet warm. How do you feel about air conditioning? Like, are you an AC person? Do you keep it cool?

• 58:05Speaker 02

  Blast it down.

• 58:07Speaker 00

  Me too.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I really, last night, I was, because I sleep naked. Guys, this isn't about that. I'm here to talk about my work. But, and I want an eight sleep. And hi, I'm here on this podcast. Hey, eight sleep? Or is, yeah, now's the time. Send them now.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  If that, if this doesn't get me an eight sleep, if this, this doesn't get me an eight sleep.

• 58:33Speaker 00

  Please get Kate an eight sleep. And so I'm gonna end our talk today.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 58:39Speaker 00

  I know, I know. But I, you have a lot of incredible takes on things.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 58:45Speaker 00

  So I want to get your thoughts on things. They don't have to be funny. They can be whatever, they, it can be whatever you want. The moon.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  Fake.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  Like, again?

• 58:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, every night.

• 59:00Speaker 00

  Every night.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  I just want to see.

• 59:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  Something different from it.

• 59:05Speaker 00

  I mean, it does change every night. I mean, it gets.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  But in the same way. Do you know what I mean? When people, people change in the same way. You go, now you're doing this thing, now you're doing that thing. You're concealing this part, you're concealing that part.

• 59:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I'm right here in the open. No, you're not, because you'll be gone tomorrow.

• 59:17Speaker 00

  Psychics.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  I believe there are gifted psychics. Like, I, people are tapped in.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  Do you believe you have any psychic abilities?

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 00

  You do, for real.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Yes, Amy.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  Predicted anything?

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 59:35Speaker 00

  What?

• 59:37Speaker 02

  Can't get into it.

• 59:38Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  No, I, I think we all, you know, psychologically, we all, we all have.

• 59:41Speaker 00

  I don't feel like I have psychic abilities.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  I have stuff.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  I can read people and I can, I feel like I'm pretty good at noticing energies, but I don't feel like I have a psychic ability to figure out that out, but.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  I've had some, some interesting instances, but again, I'm on my phone all day, so I'm blocking all of that out.

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay, good. Um, what about ghosts? Have you seen any ever?

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:00:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  So, so.

• 1:00:07Speaker 00

  You've talked to ghosts.

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  So people, you look at me, long hair, you know, oh, who's this, you know, witchy psychic ghost? I'm actually typically not, I don't, I don't like karaoke, for example. A lot of people think things about me, okay? So, and I, um, I was told not to talk about it because then they, they, they take it as a way to kind of come in. But I swear to God, the last couple of years.

• 1:00:33Speaker 00

  You've been seeing some ghosts? You have to talk to my friend Rachel Dratch because she does. She is really into woo woo and she kind of collects woo woo stories.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  I've had some, I've had some, like, um, I've always been scared of ghosts. And then the last couple of years, I've seen a few. And actually, some situations I would think would really scare me. No fear whatsoever, completely fine. I've had two upsetting experiences that really freaked me out.

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  Okay, that's not good.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  So I kind of went to someone and went, let's close the door.

• 1:01:03Speaker 00

  God, I wish I could see a ghost. I have not seen a ghost and I, I just, they just do not fuck with me, ghosts.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  You don't want it, I don't think.

• 1:01:11Speaker 00

  Maybe I don't want it.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  I don't know, I don't know. Some, you know, some people I would like to come through and are interested in that.

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe not.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  But, once you've had a couple of bad ones, you go.

• 1:01:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  I'll just say, I've got some special figurines on my nightstand lately.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Some crystals.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  I was given some figurines.

• 1:01:28Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Because I go, I don't want to see that one anymore. Yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  And they were like, for $29.99, I can give you this.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  I know, truly. The amount of people, friends I've had that have been like, and she said that for $500 she could lift the curse. I'm like, oh, no.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  I know. Because let's, let's lift the curse for free. How about we try that?

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  All curses can and should be lifted for free.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, like makeup and tampons. Um, Los Angeles.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  I'm from LA. I lived in New York for 10 years. I'm there all the time. But I think the, um, you know, people love to talk shit on LA. And even this conver, even this feels cliche when I'm, when I'm dropping into, right? It's kind of like, people I talk to, huh. But I, um, I love Los Angeles, you know? She can be a cruel mistress, but to me, it's, it's Hollywood, it's dreams, it's, it's, it's images, it's lizards, it's cactus, it's a, it's a palm tree half on fire. You know, it's, it's all of, yeah.

• 1:02:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:16Speaker 02

  There's something brutally solitary about Los Angeles. I love New York so much. So many times I go back to New York and I'm like, I've ruined my life by not living here. I'd be a better artist, I'd be more connected to, to people, to strangers. Like, I, I really long for strangers and for those like interactions that really feeds me on a deep level. And I, I am sad that in LA, it's harder to get those interactions. But I think, uh, I don't know, LA is, is, it is, it isn't, it's strange.

• 1:02:48Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  And it can make you feel, I remember after living in New York, coming back to LA and being like, well, I've never felt uglier, more exposed, more alone, driving in the car, looking in the mirror. Like, like you're alien, you're like, who is that?

• 1:03:04Speaker 00

  It's so bright.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  It's so bright, there's nowhere to hide and yet it only hides you. I don't know, but.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  You love it.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  You love her. Come on. Seeing those hills speckled with homes lit up at night. Drive down Hollywood Boulevard, it's a man with a machete outside the man's Chinese and you go.

• 1:03:24Speaker 00

  I'm home.

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  We're dreaming.

• 1:03:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  We create the dreams, Amy. This town creates the fantasies that drive the world.

• 1:03:32Speaker 00

  And what's, um, and what's making you laugh? My last question to you, like, like, what do you do to laugh? And you can't say your friends.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  Just go watch people fall down at the supermarket. Um, what makes me laugh is non performers performing. Like, I've been to a couple weddings, a couple, like.

• 1:03:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  Those kinds of environments where someone who's not a performer is giving a speech.

• 1:04:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  That is exquisite.

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  And let's talk through that because I know what you mean. And I bet you're the same, like, as women, like our mirror neurons. We, we don't want anyone to be humiliated.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  No, of course.

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  Of course not.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  And it's sweet, you see people, it's scary up there. I'm a performer, I'm scared up there.

• 1:04:18Speaker 00

  Yes, but when it's like a little bit awkward but fun, but what do you, what, what makes you laugh? Like, what, what do you, what's your, your like perfect version of that?

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  I think what's so fascinating about wedding speeches is there's like this template and people are like, like, this is something I've talked about with John. So classically, the bridesmaid's speech, you're the bride, right? You're this, you're funny, it's fun, it's him. It's listing things. And in the vows too, it's usually, you're fun, you're fun, and you're come. Whether it were, or, you always, it's like so shocking. It's like this rehearsed, and there's a beauty in that. Like, this is the structure we can all fall into and collapse into, this familiar language. And everyone knows exactly what's going to happen. And, but, but it's like, that's funny.

• 1:05:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  That, that's, that's really, and again, the listing traits.

• 1:05:08Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  It's always listing traits.

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  It's so funny.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  You're goofy, you're smart, you're kind, and you're generous. Listing traits? We have to go beyond the list.

• 1:05:21Speaker 00

  Yes, but breaking out of that is wild.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  But I understand too, I'm saying that, I'm not admonishing the list, I get it.

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  You're right, that's, you could hear that language, you could hear that rhythm.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  A hint, a hint, and a hint. It's really there. Yeah.

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, I totally, I love a wedding.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Love.

• 1:05:42Speaker 00

  If it's a bad wedding, I'm like, oh, I love it. Like, you know, if everyone, if there's like a clumsy speech or people are stressed or the wrong person cries or the ex is there and it's awkward, I'm like, oh my God, what theater? And if it's beautiful and full of love, I'm like, amazing, I love that too. I love a wedding.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  And I, and I just, I love parties so much. And I'm very like planner, like if I didn't, if I didn't do what I do, I think I'd be like.

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  Party planner?

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  I've never, I've never, yeah, maybe.

• 1:06:13Speaker 00

  Wait, tell me.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  Professor slash party planner.

• 1:06:16Speaker 00

  Okay, but what, parties make me a little stressed, they're very unstructured.

• 1:06:20Speaker 02

  No, totally, well, I go, oh my God, the apps, like bring out the apps now, you know? I was actually at a wedding recently, nice one. App, broken glass bleeding in my mouth. Ran to the bathroom, there's blood. I spit out in the ceviche, the glass. So I go back, I go, I go in, I don't tell anyone, I'm not going to ruin this wedding.

• 1:06:38Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  I go into the kitchen, through the doors, into the metal doors. I go, guys, the ceviche trays, you gotta pull them, you gotta pull them, there's glass. You know, and I quietly, quietly.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  You want to put out those fires.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  And all micromanage, like, I definitely have like, can have a white knuckle grip. Like, I love to have a dinner party or something.

• 1:06:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  And I love to spend the days awake, you know, the nights before. It's not as simple, it's, it's not, the effortless host is a lie. I think it's real, some people actually can do that. But like, I'm like shaking.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  But there's things you can't control, you can control the party, but guess what? Over controlled party, hell, hell for everyone.

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  Hell.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  So that's the thing, you have to create the structure, you have to let it dissolve.

• 1:07:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, you might burn, like something's going to burn, the, like someone's going to get into a fight, like wine will be spilled, a chimney sweep may show up.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, he might.

• 1:07:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, he might.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  He might give you TMJ, but you keep going.

• 1:07:34Speaker 00

  And that is something, the second thing we want you to take away from, other than having sex with your sibling.

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. Guys, don't do it. Don't do it.

• 1:07:44Speaker 00

  Kate Berlant.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  I love you, wait, I love you so much, you are a hero to me. I have no trouble saying that to you. And also, truly, going through a really hard time recently, what did I pop on? Wet hot, mm, they came together double feature. Because I'm like, I need something funny.

• 1:08:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  I'm thinking, okay, funny movie, what's a funny movie? Oh, it's funny, nothing's coming up. And then I go, we're going, we're going back to, with, Wet Hot lives in my DNA. And such a, I mean.

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  You must have been a teen when it came out, right?

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't remember when I first saw it, I saw it later.

• 1:08:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  But, um, it is the most beautiful and just, yeah.

• 1:08:28Speaker 00

  Thank you, Kate, I love, I love seeing you.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  And that's just the tip, I'm not, I'm not going to do your CV, we all know, but I love you.

• 1:08:33Speaker 00

  Thank you, Kate.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  I love you, thank you.

• 1:08:37Speaker 00

  Thank you so much, Kate Berlant, that was so fun. I love talking to you and you're so funny. And, um, it's just a joy to be around you. So, uh, Kate and I talked about a lot of things. One of the things we talked about is how fun it is to watch an awkward wedding speech. But I just want to say for people that are right now getting ready to give a speech, a wedding speech, just a few tips. Here are my unsolicited tips, which, start with a joke and sincere. Don't do it the other way around. Don't start sincere and then think that this hilarious joke is going to kill. Start with a really nice, easy joke up front.

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  Maybe something about how you're nervous, something self-effacing. And then just get them at the end by being very, very sincere. You can never go wrong if you're sincere. You can go horribly wrong if you say the wrong joke. So that would be my unsolicited advice. But congratulations on your wedding and congratulations on being the bridesmaid. And, um, remember, take your speech and cut it in half because it's going to go longer than you think. Thank you so much for listening to Good Hang. Thanks for checking in with us and, um, have a good one. You've been listening to Good Hang.

• 1:10:03Speaker 00

  The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss-Berman, and me, Amy Poehler. The show is produced by The Ringer and Paperkite. For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spillane, Kaya McMullen, Aleia Zanarez, Bridget Geerlings, Paige Garberini, Belle Roman, and Drew Van Steen-Burgen. For Paperkite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Original music by Amy Miles.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at The Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want, online only, at homedepot.com.

• 1:11:03Speaker 04

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.