Giggling about subpoenas, sunny d, and ex boyfriends

Paige is exploring empathy and Hannah reveals her guilty pleasures. subscribe to our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Cozy season is upon us, which is one of my favorites. I love a chill, crisp morning, and I love opening the window and like feeling it on my face. I also love when it's raining and you're having a movie marathon, and that's why you also need Bombas to make your comfiest fall staples go with all your favorite fall things. So you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year. Like the new suede moccasins are perfect for fall with cushy soles, a sheerling lining, and water-resistant suede. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to somebody facing housing insecurity. Bombas truly is the best, and I've replaced all my socks with Bombas. Head over to Bombas.com/gigglysquad and use

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  code GIGGLYSQUAD for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com/gigglysquad, code GIGGLYSQUAD at checkout.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where Cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with Cars.com. Where to next?

• 1:35Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 1:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Like so many people have my location.

• 1:43Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 1:47Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 1:52Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 2:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 2:09Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 2:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 2:21Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 2:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 2:26Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 2:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 2:46Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 2:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 2:51Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 2:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.

• 2:57Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 3:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 3:09Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 3:10Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 3:12Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 3:25Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 3:26Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Sup, Gigglers? Jerry, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, you on cocaine would actually be the best night of my life.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  We'll do a head and page try new things.

• 3:54Paige DeSorbo?

  The business ideas alone that you would come up with?

• 3:58Hannah Berner?

  If I did do cocaine.

• 4:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  And came up with 100 business ideas. And one of the business ideas was good and you-

• 4:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Worth it.

• 4:05Hannah Berner?

  Worth it.

• 4:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Absolutely worth it.

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  Absolutely worth it. By the way.

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:12Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, I tried a new coffee place.

• 4:16Hannah Berner?

  And I walk, no, it's fine. I love a new coffee place. It's fine.

• 4:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You're being a tourist in your own city.

• 4:21Hannah Berner?

  Yes. And the barista was like performing. And I'm like on my phone and I, you know, when you hear.

• 4:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Baristas are the flight attendants of the land.

• 4:31Hannah Berner?

  Yes. They either, oh my god. Oh my god, that was too.

• 4:35Paige DeSorbo?

  They are the flight attendants of earth. They literally, they have so much power in such a small area.

• 4:43Hannah Berner?

  And like their mood dictates everyone's mood. And it's so true. You know, a flight attendant comes in, you're like, oh, we're, it's jokes. We're having jokes.

• 4:51Paige DeSorbo?

  She's happy. She's well rested.

• 4:52Hannah Berner?

  And then there's the ones that you're like, I'm scared of her. I'm messing up. She's mad at me.

• 4:56Paige DeSorbo?

  She's on overtime and she's livid.

• 4:57Hannah Berner?

  So this barista, I hear him like, obviously, he's like a hilarious gay. And so he's running the room. And this is early, so I'm like not, I haven't turned on my personality yet.

• 5:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:10Hannah Berner?

  We're charging. And he, I hear him exclaim, like the word exclaim, like exclaimed.

• 5:19Hannah Berner?

  You know exactly what I mean.

• 5:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Exactly what you're talking about. I've never in my thirty-three years on earth has, have ever heard someone say that. I've only read it in a book.

• 5:30Hannah Berner?

  I've only read it in a book. I saw it for the first time in person. He exclaimed, he went,

• 5:37Hannah Berner?

  he makes his, so I'm.

• 5:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Aghast.

• 5:40Hannah Berner?

  Aghast and at attention. The girl in front, he goes, "Ice latte with oat milk? Never have I ever." So he's like making fun of her. And I realized like, oh, we're in a bit.

• 5:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:55Hannah Berner?

  We're in a bit. And she's just like froze, which like I would be in my twenties for sure. So she, he's, and she's like, yeah, with ice. And he's like, "An iced one? Never heard of her." And he's like, you can tell.

• 6:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, the girl couldn't go along with the bit?

• 6:09Hannah Berner?

  She was just kind of like, just please give me my coffee.

• 6:12Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, I don't have time for this right now. It's in New York City. It's always the days that you're like, I don't have time.

• 6:19Hannah Berner?

  I'm overstimulated.

• 6:20Paige DeSorbo?

  When someone's doing something so insane and to like explain it to anyone, anywhere else in the country. They'd be like, oh my god, go to the police.

• 6:27Hannah Berner?

  And by the way, this place is full of people working and no one's looked up from their computer. Like, they're just like, it's another day. I don't know if he does this all the time. I'm new to this establishment. So I don't know if they're like, oh, just Gary, being Gary. So he's going nuts. And then I, for a second, I'm like, there's two ways to go about this. I can show up and just kind of take it and leave. I'm like, or I'm like, Hannah, you're a fucking stand-up comedian. You stand up to this man. You join in. So I go, fuck it. And it's my turn. I go, you're not gonna believe what I'm about to order. And you could tell he's like, he's like, is she fucking whatever? And I go, I'm getting an iced latte with oat milk plus vanilla. He jumps in, he goes, not vanilla! And we like start going back and forth. Yes.

• 7:11Hannah Berner?

  Cause I'm exhausted. I put in a good thirty minutes of crowd work with the barista.

• 7:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, god. I can honestly say, I've never once talked, anytime I've ever walked into a coffee shop.

• 7:22Hannah Berner?

  This is the kind of thing where I'm like, I'm sorry, I just need my coffee. Like, it's one thing if it's, no, but you know what? I, I see both sides. When I'm miserable at work, there's two ways you go about it. You could cry or you can laugh. And this man shows happiness. Is he coming for some people in the line? Yes, but you know what?

• 7:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, this is New York City. People are always auditioning.

• 7:44Hannah Berner?

  Well, I was about to say, do you, do you want to open for me? Do you have a good ten minutes?

• 7:47Paige DeSorbo?

  The floor for a minimum eight hours.

• 7:50Hannah Berner?

  I mean, he's on a stage. He has the microphone. But it, it does make your job more fun when every time someone orders something, you have an insane reaction to it. Just watch, it's in the Lower East Side. If anyone, what's it called? I don't know, I blacked out.

• 8:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Small business, a shout out.

• 8:07Hannah Berner?

  But if you're not in the mood, just don't go to that place. Anyway, what's up, gigglers?

• 8:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we didn't even say hi, cause we got right into it.

• 8:14Hannah Berner?

  I like your headband.

• 8:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you. How are you? Did you see the Jake from State Farm got a hold of Windbreaker Gate? Whenever brands get involved in like certain funny bits, it's interesting to see like what brands. State Farm wasn't in my back pocket. I was not expecting them.

• 8:32Hannah Berner?

  The OG gigglers know, back in my day, I was seeing a guy named Jake during COVID. And we called him Jake from State Farm. So it was kind of a beautiful.

• 8:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly forgot about that.

• 8:44Hannah Berner?

  And you know what we called Dez? Caddy Daddy.

• 8:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my god. It's so funny, though. The other day, I was cleaning out my kitchen.

• 8:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You ever cleaned out your kitchen?

• 8:58Hannah Berner?

  Never in my life.

• 9:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, let me tell you, you find things, like it's a totally different world than like cleaning out your bedroom or cleaning out your closet, because you're like, when would I ever use eighty-five spatulas?

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember spiralizers?

• 9:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Spiralizers?

• 9:14Hannah Berner?

  There was like a time in twenty eighteen where all the girls were buying these like ten-dollar spiralizers on Amazon where you put a zucchini in it and you spiral it and you make zucchini pasta.

• 9:26Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I didn't have one of those, but that's the type of things I was finding. Like choppers and like slicers and like a salad maker. I'm like, I've never made a salad at this house.

• 9:36Hannah Berner?

  But it's the kind of stuff you buy to just make yourself feel better, but you know you're down.

• 9:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I'm an adult, I should have like a complete kitchen. So I'm cleaning out my kitchen and I just find like a coffee mug that's a State Farm on one side and Jake on the other. And I was like-

• 9:49Hannah Berner?

  Is his name Jake?

• 9:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, not his real name.

• 9:52Hannah Berner?

  Okay, it's false advertising.

• 9:54Paige DeSorbo?

  There was a whole other guy before him, remember?

• 9:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, what did they do with him?

• 9:58Paige DeSorbo?

  You're done in this town.

• 9:59Hannah Berner?

  I want to see a documentary of where the first Jake from State Farm is now.

• 10:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:04Hannah Berner?

  What is he doing? Guy from Dell.

• 10:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Whatever happened to him, remember him?

• 10:08Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 10:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember, they brought back the mayhem guy because people were like, hello?

• 10:13Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Paige DeSorbo?

  There should be awards for commercials.

• 10:17Hannah Berner?

  Flo from Progressive.

• 10:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, we do know- She's probably made-

• 10:21Hannah Berner?

  So much money.

• 10:22Paige DeSorbo?

  So much money from that.

• 10:24Hannah Berner?

  She's probably like tried to audition for something else and they're like, hey, can we talk for a second? You're Flo from State Farm.

• 10:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually think I have seen her in something and I'm like- Sorry, she's typecast now.

• 10:33Hannah Berner?

  No, like they actually do. I met, um, the Verizon girl.

• 10:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 10:37Hannah Berner?

  Who is an incredible actress, but you know, she's so widely known.

• 10:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Do you guys want to know what happened to Jake from State Farm?

• 10:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  The original Jake from State Farm was a real State Farm employee named Jake Stone, who worked in an Indiana call center, was cast from an internal casting call, blah, blah, blah. He did not pursue acting, left State Farm to become a bartender, and now lives a private life with his family.

• 10:58Hannah Berner?

  Obsessed with him, he got too big. He was like, I didn't want this fame. I didn't want this life. He's like, Hollywood is not for me.

• 11:05Paige DeSorbo?

  That is so not how I saw it going.

• 11:07Hannah Berner?

  He, he got too famous.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  The guy's name is Kevin, by the way.

• 11:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And he was like, I just wanna do my passion, which is making drinks.

• 11:15Hannah Berner?

  Look, I get it.

• 11:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, what's funny about when I saw this cup, I literally had a thought where I was like, oh, should I throw this out? And then I was like, yeah, throw it out.

• 11:23Hannah Berner?

  No, I would never.

• 11:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't know anyone named Jake. It doesn't ma- like, just throw it out. And I was like, when am I ever having an encounter with State Farm? Where I have to be like, I threw your cup out. Literally three days later, Jake from State Farm on windbreaker day.

• 11:37Hannah Berner?

  The universe came for you with that.

• 11:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, it's just a cup. I was thinking about it nonstop.

• 11:44Hannah Berner?

  State Farm is so happy right now. The marketing girls are like, we knew they would latch on to this. You know that he, they had to set that up. He had to go in his green room, have the windbreakers or the jackets lined up. Um, so shout out to the girl at marketing that put that together.

• 11:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you ever have like, where you feel bad for like inanimate objects?

• 12:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, do you, are you ever like in your house and like, um, like I'm trying to think of an example, like, like the salt shaker is in one cabinet and the peppers in another? And you're like, oh, I feel bad because they're like alone, so I have to like put them together.

• 12:16Hannah Berner?

  You should talk to someone about that. You should for sure talk to someone about that. It's crazy because you don't feel bad for, you don't feel bad for animate objects. But non-animate objects you suddenly have empathy for? Yeah, look that up. Get that checked out. Go to-

• 12:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Like you've never like left your stuffed animal and you're like, okay, like I'm leaving and like I'll be back.

• 12:36Hannah Berner?

  This isn't Toy Story 3.

• 12:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys, not one time your entire childhoods, you've never looked at an item and been like, I feel bad.

• 12:45Hannah Berner?

  Well, you're, you're like the most materialistic person I've ever met in my life. But now, now it makes sense because you're like, because they have feelings too.

• 12:56Hannah Berner?

  Like, maybe, no, a plant, maybe I would.

• 13:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't get me started about my plant. I'll cry. I've had my plant for almost 10 years. It's my favorite item. Josephine had to take my plant for like a couple of weeks.

• 13:09Hannah Berner?

  You didn't trust her.

• 13:10Paige DeSorbo?

  And I checked on my plant more than I've ever checked on Daphne with like the sitter. I'm like, Josephine, don't forget to water my plant.

• 13:16Hannah Berner?

  With the sitter, you have to check on the sitter more than Daphne. You're like, has she been rude? Is she making you feel bad about yourself?

• 13:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 13:23Hannah Berner?

  So is your kitchen clean?

• 13:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, my kitchen's clean. I got a lot. I got rid of a lot of stuff. You don't realize how many things you have that end up being expired. It's not good. You gotta check.

• 13:33Hannah Berner?

  Oh, that's why I don't have anything in my fridge.

• 13:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Well, it's like more of like my canned items and like my dressings.

• 13:39Hannah Berner?

  Wait, canned items go bad? I thought that was the whole point of preparing for the apocalypse.

• 13:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, sometimes, like, like, I think I threw out some, like, soups.

• 13:48Hannah Berner?

  I don't think I've ever bought a canned item and ate it.

• 13:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 13:53Hannah Berner?

  Like, I, you know.

• 13:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I've been on a tuna kick, so like, I've been eating tuna. I just recently ordered a bunch of beans because I got a TikTok that was like, beans are so good for you. And my mom always says that, so I'm like, let me get on my bean kick.

• 14:06Hannah Berner?

  Poor Daphne, she's like, you're hotboxing me.

• 14:10Hannah Berner?

  Wait, but wait, you love tuna, but you're not giving fish wife a chance?

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Fish wife? Oh, the tin fish?

• 14:15Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, cuz they have tuna, albacore, salmon.

• 14:18Paige DeSorbo?

  What's it look like inside the tin?

• 14:20Hannah Berner?

  It looks like a tuna fish can.

• 14:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, then I'll give it a try.

• 14:24Hannah Berner?

  You should give it a try cuz it's full of antioxidants and I'm not sponsored by them.

• 14:27Paige DeSorbo?

  There is this thing in my brain that.

• 14:30Hannah Berner?

  It's cat food.

• 14:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No. There's this thing in my brain that it's like, this is sick too. If my mom didn't buy that brand, I'm not buying that brand.

• 14:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 14:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I can't deviate from certain things cuz I'm like, I didn't grow up with that and like, we use Heinz ketchup. Like.

• 14:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know, and you know, like, when you go to someone else's house and you're like, oh, interesting, you guys are that family. You buy that brand.

• 14:56Hannah Berner?

  Are glowing the dark cuz you're drinking that orange juice product.

• 15:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I remember one time I went to my friend's house and instead of orange juice in the morning, they drank Sunny D. And I was like, I was like obsessed. I love it. And I remember going back home being like, Mom, there's a different kind of orange juice you can buy. And she was so offended. She was like, I'll never. Sunny D in this house.

• 15:16Hannah Berner?

  Sunny D is if orange juice and Mountain Dew had a baby.

• 15:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:19Hannah Berner?

  And their name was Chad.

• 15:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Juice. I mean, not juice. It's basically soda.

• 15:24Hannah Berner?

  It's like soda juice.

• 15:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:26Hannah Berner?

  Wait, Sunny D. Oh, my God. I had some crazy days on Sunny D as a kid. You have a Sunny D and then blackout for four hours. You wake up. Everything's a mess. You came out from... That's a K-hole. Sunny D is...

• 15:39Paige DeSorbo?

  We were very different children.

• 15:40Hannah Berner?

  That was my K-hole.

• 15:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I didn't play unless my socks matched my bow. So, no, I didn't black out on Sunny D.

• 15:46Hannah Berner?

  My mom had a full meetings with babysitters telling them to water down my juice because I was, I was like, unsafe to be around other kids with the amount of sugar I was... Anyway. Sunny D, oh, my God.

• 15:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that was a blast from the past. Um. Wait, I was gonna say something before we got on a Sunny D tangent that I just like didn't see coming.

• 16:05Hannah Berner?

  I feel like you should be wearing more rings. Why are you not wearing any rings right now?

• 16:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I just saw my ring. This is also what happens when you clean things out. I saw, I go, guys, I don't wear you enough.

• 16:18Hannah Berner?

  Paige is wearing a ring.

• 16:19Paige DeSorbo?

  And I go back for my rings.

• 16:20Hannah Berner?

  How did you choose which fingers? Do you feel bad for the fingers that don't have a ring?

• 16:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually did.

• 16:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I said, oh, you guys have two rings here together and you don't have any rings.

• 16:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm really into like, I mean, this is obviously a fake diamond, but I'm really into pinky rings recently. And I ordered from this...

• 16:40Hannah Berner?

  Cause you're Italian, cause you knew.

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, yeah. And I ordered from this brand. It's called Wolf and Badger. And they had like all these like diamond pinky rings that I'm like obsessed with. And that's just my...

• 16:49Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with non-diamond rings because I don't want the responsibility of owning real jewelry.

• 16:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I have a sensory problem, so I don't, which I feel like you do too, because you never wear jewelry when you don't have to.

• 17:02Hannah Berner?

  I don't wear my wedding ring.

• 17:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 17:05Hannah Berner?

  Cause it gives me a rash.

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't wear a lot of jewelry either, but every time I see a girl that's like, has a bunch of rings on, has a necklace, has her earrings, I'm like, oh, yeah, your outfit looks 10 times better because you accessorized.

• 17:16Hannah Berner?

  I feel like ring girls to me are like tattoo girls where like it looks good on them. But on me, it's like she's a tryhard.

• 17:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 17:24Hannah Berner?

  Fake bitch.

• 17:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I love... Tattoo girls.

• 17:26Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, every now and I see one, like this girl was playing tennis and she has one on her arm.

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, like, real tattoo girls, like, like a Kat Von D tattoo girl.

• 17:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, full sleeves.

• 17:38Hannah Berner?

  Do you know how girls were like, if I was a worm, would you love my ass, Dez? I was like, if I was tatted up all the way, would you love me? I don't remember what he said, because I didn't care.

• 17:47Paige DeSorbo?

  That is the most random. Look, if he said no, I would be like, what is it, nineteen fifty-five?

• 17:53Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I keep this a secret, so I'm just gonna tell the giggers. It's our four-year anniversary.

• 17:58Paige DeSorbo?

  That's disgusting.

• 17:59Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 18:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, Hannah, the other day, did you see that when you commented on Dez's Instagram? You're like, nice jacket?

• 18:07Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I commented back to you and said, don't get any ideas. But when I saw you comment on your own husband's Instagram, I did have a moment where I was like, oh, they have inside jokes.

• 18:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so they have bits that they've run that I have no idea about.

• 18:26Hannah Berner?

  You're actually in on that bit, because Dez was going to do comedy, stops and goes, look at my outfit. And I go, wait, I love that jacket. And he goes, send it to Paige, and then walked out.

• 18:36Paige DeSorbo?

  But I just had a moment where I was like, oh, she has a friend. Obviously, you've been married for four years, that's your friend. But I was like, oh, okay, I guess, I guess I'm out.

• 18:46Hannah Berner?

  I like, I do like to comment on his photo, just to remind people that I'm there, that I'm lurking. But never too, like, lovey dovey. But not too mean where people think we're in a fight. I like it very.

• 18:57Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you gonna do for your four-year anniversary? Are you doing anything?

• 19:00Hannah Berner?

  We forgot. It was actually yesterday.

• 19:01Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so you. Wait, that is so you guys.

• 19:06Hannah Berner?

  Well, we woke up in the morning and I had to hop on a plane. And I got on the plane, he texted me, by the way, it's our anniversary. And I was like, I love you.

• 19:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, not to sound so pick me, but you really aren't like other girls.

• 19:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I feel like if you ask like a 25 year old guy, like, what's their dream girl? Like, it is you because you don't care about like certain things that like the majority of girls would be pissed. Like, if you ask a random girl, oh, if your husband forgot your wedding anniversary, would you be pissed? The majority would say, yeah. Well, but you're like, I forgot.

• 19:47Hannah Berner?

  Well, I was gonna say, I'm not mad at him because I'm in the same boat. Um, but also, I just want a man who's kind and nice and funny. And those, I do think when a guy goes too hard on anniversaries, it's like, you have another family.

• 20:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, interesting.

• 20:04Hannah Berner?

  Dez is not overcompensating.

• 20:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Is Dez like, I'll send you flowers randomly kind of guy? Or is he like, I feel like he's like an act of service guy? Like, I helped you organize this because it would help your day.

• 20:17Hannah Berner?

  So, great question. I, early on, like, kind of made a joke, but I was serious. I was like, I don't, I'm not really a flowers person. I get them and then...

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  That's the most pick me thing.

• 20:26Hannah Berner?

  No, it's so pick, because I don't say it out loud, that's pick me. But like, to him, I was like, don't get me flowers.

• 20:30Paige DeSorbo?

  What don't you like about getting flowers?

• 20:31Hannah Berner?

  Because then they go bad. Also, I have to take care of, suddenly I have a child in my house that I'm not around. And then it starts smelling. I get in trouble because the butter eats a flower, throws up. Like, it's just, I've never had a good experience with flowers. I guess like Valentine's Day, I'm like, yeah, I could use a flower. But like, guys randomly bringing you flowers, I'm like, who did you fuck today?

• 20:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:51Hannah Berner?

  Like, I don't like that at all. This is Dez. I, well, first of all, I land for the Sports Illustrated weekend I'm doing. Immediately order Chinese food. Like, as I'm getting in the Uber, I get my chicken and broccoli with white sauce, mushu pork. And dumplings.

• 21:09Hannah Berner?

  Go to town on it.

• 21:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:11Hannah Berner?

  Realize, oh, I have a fitting for a Sports Illustrated weekend. Nothing sipping. And I was like.

• 21:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, the sodium alone.

• 21:18Hannah Berner?

  The sodium and the bloat from the flight together was disastrous. And I knew I was about to get a spray tan. It was hard. But anyway, my special's coming out. And we're doing, we're trying to put the trailer together. Comedy trailers are really hard because they don't want to put the full bit. They want to like tease. But if you tease too much, it just doesn't, it'll look like you're saying anything.

• 21:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 21:39Hannah Berner?

  So I'm like insanely editing this trailer and I called him just like overwhelmed by the edit. And like trying to figure it out. And he like talked me off a ledge and he's like, let me look at it. I'll have figured out whatever. Like, that's what I want my husband for.

• 21:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 21:52Hannah Berner?

  Not giving me flowers and then like not talking to me all day. Which does sound peaceful as well.

• 22:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, I'm gonna say the latter.

• 22:02Hannah Berner?

  But the trailer said, I think we got it. I'm just like a perfectionist with it.

• 22:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you are a perfectionist.

• 22:08Hannah Berner?

  I showed it to you.

• 22:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep, it's really good. You looked phenomenal.

• 22:12Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's all you care about.

• 22:13Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so funny because there was one part in the trailer where I was like, pause real quick. And you were like, I know what you're gonna say. And I was like, your hair looks phenomenal. Like in that two second.

• 22:22Hannah Berner?

  You watched it on mute.

• 22:25Hannah Berner?

  I was like, did you like the bits I chose? And you go, the way your hair was like off your shoulder.

• 22:30Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what? I think everything you do is funny. So I don't even have to. Like, I don't have to check on that. I'm there for certain aesthetics things that maybe you wouldn't think of.

• 22:42Hannah Berner?

  I would have missed.

• 22:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 22:43Hannah Berner?

  And Des would have missed. Oh, God. So anyway, happy anniversary, Desmond.

• 22:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You know how there's like a whole side of TikTok that's like Chinese medicine and like.

• 22:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys, this is important, actually.

• 23:00Hannah Berner?

  She goes, this is where I get all my doctor stuff.

• 23:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't even speak badly because there are a lot of things that I've tried that I'm like, that actually really did work. So the most recent thing was like.

• 23:12Hannah Berner?

  You're gonna go.

• 23:17Hannah Berner?

  And look, St. Anthony, don't let this happen, but.

• 23:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna see like a trend.

• 23:22Hannah Berner?

  Shove something in the wrong place, wake up in the morning.

• 23:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Or like eat this. I'm like, absolutely. No, this girl was saying that in Chinese culture, it is just the norm that when you're at home and you're about to take a shower, if you're a girl, you get undressed, you take your underwear in the shower with you, you wash it in the shower, then you throw it in your dirty laundry. Because they're like, it's such a sensitive area that it should be washed double. And I'm like, yeah, absolutely. That makes so much sense. Then I saw the video. Did you see the girl washing her underwear in a hotel in the coffee machine?

• 24:07Hannah Berner?

  Woman in step of the week.

• 24:09Paige DeSorbo?

  That is one of the most diabolical things I've ever seen in my life.

• 24:16Hannah Berner?

  This is how I do my laundry from now on. No. Because you know I'm in a hotel with just a bunch of dirty underwear and I'm like, do I Instacart?

• 24:24Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a sink.

• 24:26Hannah Berner?

  But the coffee, the heat, the heat really gets the bacteria.

• 24:29Paige DeSorbo?

  And then people are just drinking your discharge? I don't even notice if there's a coffee machine in my hotel room.

• 24:36Hannah Berner?

  Dez makes the coffee in this household, or I order it. But also when he tried to explain to me how to make coffee, because I didn't drink coffee until like I went on tour.

• 24:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Hannah Berner?

  Because I was too hyper. I could barely drink Sunny D. He's like, yeah, you just know how much, he acts like an Italian grandma. He's like, you just put some coffee on the, the coffee on the top.

• 24:55Paige DeSorbo?

  What's your coffee machine of choice?

• 24:56Hannah Berner?

  He's, it's his job. Like, he's the house manager.

• 25:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, he is.

• 25:01Hannah Berner?

  Like, I don't ask where things are from, how they got there.

• 25:04Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so true.

• 25:04Hannah Berner?

  How they work. I don't know when it's working, when it's not working. Occasionally, I'll just be like.

• 25:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know the brand? Like, are you a cuisine art person? Do, are you doing like?

• 25:12Hannah Berner?

  Is that a thing? Cuisine? Cuisine?

• 25:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Cuisine art.

• 25:16Hannah Berner?

  Cuisine art?

• 25:17Paige DeSorbo?

  No. Cuisine art. I think I'm saying it right. Or are you like an espresso pod family?

• 25:24Hannah Berner?

  Seen espresso pod, that's a whole different.

• 25:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a whole different genre.

• 25:26Hannah Berner?

  That really stresses me out. I've fucked up many Nespresso pods in a hotel room.

• 25:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, see, now after the woman washing her underwear, I'll never even.

• 25:35Hannah Berner?

  Two things that are bougie about me.

• 25:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's hear them, because I, let me, let me think first what I think.

• 25:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Not travel. Not every day. Not sleeping accommodations. I'm really getting stumped. I would say now, the person you are today.

• 25:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I would say.

• 26:01Hannah Berner?

  You're not gonna get it.

• 26:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, because I was gonna say hotel, but you're really not.

• 26:05Hannah Berner?

  Well, I do, I do love hotel rooms. I love treating my openers to amazing hotel rooms now. But that's all because you taught me that it was important. Because I'm like, we gotta bed, we gotta bed. Okay. These are things I spoil myself with now. I will order an eight dollar delivery coffee.

• 26:22Paige DeSorbo?

  In the morning.

• 26:23Hannah Berner?

  In the morning, if I want.

• 26:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:26Hannah Berner?

  That's a non-negotiable. I love, and I want it like a milkshake. I want hazelnut. I want, I want whatever. Second thing.

• 26:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Really get your gut started on the right foot.

• 26:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And then I'm like, I think I may be.

• 26:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Start the day off with bloat, because it's only down from there.

• 26:46Hannah Berner?

  If I'm gonna be emotionally miserable, I might as well be physically, emotionally, whatever. Anyway. Okay, this is insane, but I bought on Amazon phone chargers with a really long.

• 27:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Cables.

• 27:00Hannah Berner?

  Cables.

• 27:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Like ten footers.

• 27:01Hannah Berner?

  And I put it in every single room.

• 27:06Hannah Berner?

  So every room I go into.

• 27:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:08Hannah Berner?

  Put your hand down, you'll find a cable.

• 27:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:10Hannah Berner?

  Plug it in. Somehow, still, my phone's never charged. But like, you know how like you have that one charger you can never find, I'm losing it? I, one day I said, fuck it, I'm buying ten chargers on Amazon. I'm putting it in every.

• 27:22Paige DeSorbo?

  One of my favorite things is small. No, we got it.

• 27:28Hannah Berner?

  Every crevice in my house.

• 27:29Paige DeSorbo?

  One of my favorite things is like small luxuries that aren't real luxuries. Like one time I went away for like a weekend with one of my girlfriends. We stayed at this insane house in Miami and everyone was like, oh my god, this house is amazing and it has this and it has this and blah, blah, blah. And I go, did you see that next to the beds? They had like a little sticky thing that stuck onto the night side table that you put the charger in, so the cord never. I was like, these people are rich and they know luxury. I then ordered. Every room needed to have one wherever there was a charger, so it never like slipped down.

• 28:07Hannah Berner?

  I think it's might be like the New Yorker in me where like I like to smell bullshit. And sometimes we'll stay in like a nice hotel and you're like, oh, it's so nice. And I get there. The fucking light isn't working. You have to go here to get the charger. I'll burn the place to the ground. I'm like, that's not luxury to me. I don't care that it's like, it has gold. Like toilets. I want a charger that what like I want.

• 28:30Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you in Vegas? Where the hell are you?

• 28:32Hannah Berner?

  I am talking about a fucking casino in Vegas we went to, yes. But these like, oh, this marble's been around. I don't give a fuck. I can't charge my phone.

• 28:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I hate when there's not enough outlets. Like, I don't need the alarm clock plugged in. I have a phone. It's 2026. Get a grip.

• 28:49Hannah Berner?

  Have you ever had an alarm clock go off in a hotel?

• 28:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 28:53Hannah Berner?

  Hmm, that's happened to me, but I'm not gonna get into it right now. I digress. And lastly, I like vintage bags.

• 28:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:59Hannah Berner?

  Cause it's sustainable.

• 29:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, sometimes you do send me a bag where I'm like, that was run over by an 18 wheel tractor trailer. Someone's grandma owned it, ripped the handle off, sewed it back together. And I'm like, why would you buy this bag for $2,000?

• 29:18Hannah Berner?

  Cause I love a sale.

• 29:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you do.

• 29:21Hannah Berner?

  If it's like, it says like Chanel bag for, for $700. I'm like, this is incredible. I send it to you and you go.

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  You only like shopping to be competitive.

• 29:29Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. I feel like I got something. So, but then you'll be like, let's zoom in for a second.

• 29:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they take off quick, Amber.

• 29:35Hannah Berner?

  Someone took a Sharpie and wrote all over it.

• 29:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:40Hannah Berner?

  And, um, and I'll be like, oh, that's why it's like five.

• 29:43Paige DeSorbo?

  $4.

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it's $4 for a Chanel. But do you ever find with vintage shopping, if you find your size, even if it's kinda ugly, you're like, well, I have to get it.

• 29:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, absolutely. Cause you're like, when am I ever gonna come across? Like when I go to Italy, there's one vintage store that I go to. That I'm like, I have to get everything that's in my size. Cause what am I gonna come across? My mom's like, you don't even like it.

• 30:05Hannah Berner?

  It feels like the universe was speaking to you. I'm like, I need to get it.

• 30:07Paige DeSorbo?

  One time I went into a vintage store and they were like, this bag came out in 1992. I go, I was born in 1992. That's my bag. She was like, okay.

• 30:18Hannah Berner?

  I also think with bags.

• 30:19Paige DeSorbo?

  So is a whole generation.

• 30:21Hannah Berner?

  There'll be an outfit one day that you're like, oh, this crazy outfit works perfectly with this crazy bag. But it could take years.

• 30:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. Vintage shopping is like, it could take years to have the perfect thing to wear that to. Where I am such a like thrower outer that I'm like, if I haven't worn it in the past year, it's out of there.

• 30:42Hannah Berner?

  You get rid of vintage?

• 30:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, no, I don't get rid of anything designer, but like if I don't wear something for a full calendar year, I get rid of it because I'm not what I'm gonna wear then.

• 30:51Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'm a horrible shopper. I never wear anything.

• 30:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:53Hannah Berner?

  It goes the whole, I'm like, I'm wearing what I've been wearing.

• 30:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the other thing. If you don't see what you have, you can't remember. That's why I'm always organizing my closet because I'm like, I forget that I have things.

• 31:05Hannah Berner?

  Are you against drawers?

• 31:13Paige DeSorbo?

  You're gonna be swamped against drawers in 2026.

• 31:16Hannah Berner?

  The anti, because if everything's.

• 31:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not anti drawer.

• 31:19Hannah Berner?

  Okay. But like if things are folded up in drawers, you feel like you don't wear as much.

• 31:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I think what goes in drawers is your like essentials, like your workout clothes, your underwear, your pajamas. Like things that you're not putting together.

• 31:30Hannah Berner?

  I do see a world where you're running like a styling organization, pimple popping company in your future. I don't know. It's just like, you'd be so good at it. But I guess it's, that's how you influence now. Like you tell people.

• 31:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Those are just my hobbies.

• 31:44Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. You're like, don't try to monetize my hobbies.

• 31:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't try and monetize. Do I try and monetize when you do needlepoint? No.

• 31:50Hannah Berner?

  I did it for one day.

• 31:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm so annoyed that like my dad loves the Knicks and he's so funny when he talks about the Knicks. I'm like, dad, start a Knicks podcast. And he's like, no, this is what I love to do. Why make it into a job? And I'm like, okay, I'll go to therapy.

• 32:03Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly. Okay. Autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work, outfit. Getting a meeting outfit, getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Allies from Sam Edelman. They're ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too.

• 32:48Paige DeSorbo?

  She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a T-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code giggly15. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Affogato.

• 33:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around two o'clock. Whether that's making a pick me up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day. And this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Affogato Creme filling. So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Affogato

• 34:15Paige DeSorbo?

  wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables. Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations. So a real person can help you plan your space. No fees.

• 34:59Paige DeSorbo?

  So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y.com. Make yourself at home. Giggly Squad, as we know, is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if you've ever had intrusive thoughts, you're not alone. For millions of people, it's not just anxiety, that's OCD, and most of them have no idea. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And these thoughts can feel very real, which makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment.

• 35:43Paige DeSorbo?

  NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live, face-to-face, virtual sessions, with support between sessions, so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at learn.noCD.com/giggly.

• 36:10Hannah Berner?

  I have an update from last week. I was complaining about people who blow their nose and make like

• 36:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Insane sounds.

• 36:15Hannah Berner?

  Insane sounds. A girl messaged me. She's our, um, running runner-up woman of the week. She said she used to make that noise. She realized it's because those people don't realize that you're supposed to close one nostril. So they're doing two nostrils, which makes-

• 36:31Paige DeSorbo?

  How do you get any grit? How do you get any air to-

• 36:33Hannah Berner?

  Also, how did we get there? Like- I don't remember anyone telling me you did one Australian time. I thought it was just innate.

• 36:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you want to hear one of the most disgusting things that I've ever witnessed in my?

• 36:42Hannah Berner?

  I don't like phlegm stories.

• 36:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's a phlegm story. So buckle up.

• 36:48Hannah Berner?

  Like loogies make me, I'll die.

• 36:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a boyfriend.

• 36:51Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 36:51Paige DeSorbo?

  For a, I know, already.

• 36:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like anyone listening to this is like, how many goddamn boyfriends? And honestly, guys, it's actually not that many. It's just, they did a lot of weird shit. So I rotate the stories in and out. I had a boyfriend for kind of a little bit of a while.

• 37:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just as shocked as he was. Who would blow his nose, no tissue, no nothing, put one finger and just blow into the air.

• 37:22Hannah Berner?

  Well, you know what that's called?

• 37:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd be like, this is my living room.

• 37:26Hannah Berner?

  It's called snot rocket.

• 37:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, if we're outside on a hot summer day somewhere, he's a little stuffed up, like, maybe I would get it. I'm like, go to the bathroom, get a piece of toilet paper, what's going on?

• 37:38Hannah Berner?

  Like, where did you meet this caveman?

• 37:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, if there was like a takeout bag or something on the table, he would like, just go like that and do it. And I would look at him and be like, people think you're like a put together person. And I'm out here lying.

• 37:52Hannah Berner?

  That's like savagery.

• 37:54Paige DeSorbo?

  It was one of the craziest, like, habits that I'm like, where did you even learn this? And how has no one in your whole life, see, this is what I think about men.

• 38:04Hannah Berner?

  No one's called them out.

• 38:05Paige DeSorbo?

  No one calls them out.

• 38:06Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 38:07Paige DeSorbo?

  They can get into these little pockets for years where they're around people that are never calling them out. So then here I come, and they're like, this is the meanest woman we've ever met in our lives.

• 38:19Hannah Berner?

  I'm calling it how I see it.

• 38:20Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm like, hey, just, just telling you that.

• 38:24Hannah Berner?

  No, you're so right. He was around friends that were like, that's actually pretty cool, bro. And he was like, that's my whole thing. Now, it's my whole personality. I, I've snot rocketed before.

• 38:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:32Hannah Berner?

  Because like, I'm on the tennis court and you're playing.

• 38:36Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so funny.

• 38:37Hannah Berner?

  And you go to the back and you don't have a paper and you just go, and it feels disgusting, but like, you have to. And you're sweating and you're crying and you're bleeding. Like, that's just part of the war.

• 38:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so happy you said this and brought this up because I used to have a theory. That's another thing. Whenever I have a boyfriend, I have multiple theories about them.

• 38:55Paige DeSorbo?

  That I don't, I don't dare tell anyone.

• 38:59Hannah Berner?

  You let the internet handle that.

• 39:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I only tell Hannah so that we can revert back to it after I break up with them so that someone here has remembered my theory. And I used to think like, oh, did the guys that were cool in high school who played sports do that? And you thought it was cool, so then for the rest of your life, you did that? Now, I made that entire thing up.

• 39:21Hannah Berner?

  No, you didn't.

• 39:22Paige DeSorbo?

  But I think it was true, and I think it was accurate.

• 39:24Hannah Berner?

  I just had an epiphany.

• 39:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:25Hannah Berner?

  That's why loud, short men don't like me.

• 39:28Paige DeSorbo?

  They hate you.

• 39:29Hannah Berner?

  Loud, short men.

• 39:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you're their competition.

• 39:31Hannah Berner?

  Hate me because they see me and they were like, oh, she could beat me at sports. And they hate that they couldn't do sports. And I'm like, it's not my fault that I'm naturally athletic and my calves, like, I have a good vert.

• 39:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Men don't care about women they don't find attractive. So if you meet someone who's your same height, they already know she's never, like, saying yes to me for a date.

• 39:51Hannah Berner?

  And they know I can throw a football farther than them. And they know I could beat the shit out of them.

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and so they're immediately, like, on the defensive with you.

• 39:58Hannah Berner?

  But then with you, they're not.

• 40:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because I come off dainty, but they don't know that I have a mouth on me.

• 40:03Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 40:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:04Hannah Berner?

  And then when you do let the mouth out, they think that they blacked out. They're like, that couldn't have been Paige, that was Hannah.

• 40:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I think the first time Joe ever heard my mouth, he was like, whoa. And I was like, yeah, I'm so sorry for that. It will happen a million times again.

• 40:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a giggler DM me and she goes, hey, I found my boyfriend's pocket pussy, what should I do? I'm jarred, I'm floored.

• 40:26Hannah Berner?

  Jarred.

• 40:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, of course, the one DM I opened, it's the most sexual. I'm like, girl, where? You know? She goes, what should I do? I sent her back the most diabolical response. I go, she goes, should I say something about it? I go, don't you dare let him know that you know this little tidbit of information? Because you might need blackmail at some point. Then I said, if you ever get into a fight. And immediately, the line that came to my head was, go fuck your pocket pussy, you incel loser. And then I go, I'm so sorry, he might be a nice man.

• 40:57Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love how you go, hold that. It's like a, it's like a punchline where you're like, I'm gonna wait for like, an important show to do that punchline. You're like, this is good. See, I would immediately just want to talk to him and be like, wait, tell me the story, how this happened. Or I would cut, I would find a printer somehow. Print out a photo of my face, tape it on, put it back. Or I put hot sauce in it, but that's like if he's cheating or something.

• 41:19Paige DeSorbo?

  But also like, look on the other side, he's

• 41:22Hannah Berner?

  He's

• 41:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Minding his own business. He's literally at home, minding his own business.

• 41:28Hannah Berner?

  Just having fun.

• 41:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Doing what's naturally done.

• 41:31Hannah Berner?

  Is that, it's the same as a fleshlight?

• 41:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it's the same thing. I've never

• 41:36Hannah Berner?

  Same company. Same brand.

• 41:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Have I ever seen one in person?

• 41:41Hannah Berner?

  Never have I ever.

• 41:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna say, never have I ever.

• 41:45Hannah Berner?

  I wonder.

• 41:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh no. Remember that time one got delivered to my apartment and I opened it and I was like, what the fuck is this? And it was the wrong

• 41:54Hannah Berner?

  And you had to look the guy in the eye and give it to him?

• 41:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't, I never looked him in the eye. I knocked and ran.

• 41:58Hannah Berner?

  That's how the guy at the hotel felt, giving me my thongs from Target. Chris, do you judge a friend if they have a fleshlight or is that just kind of?

• 42:05Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, they definitely don't know.

• 42:06Hannah Berner?

  Like is there a certain guy who has a fleshlight or it's like, anyone could have a fleshlight?

• 42:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You guys would like openly talk about in an open forum.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  Some guys do, it gets close, I don't even

• 42:13Paige DeSorbo?

  And they'll say, like, I bought one.

• 42:15Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love Chris, he's like, honestly, it's really gross, I don't want to talk about it.

• 42:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Not to be so pick me, which is the theme of the episode, but dare I argue, it's the same as a vibrator. I mean, kind of. We're both like doing the same thing with something plastic.

• 42:31Hannah Berner?

  No, you're right.

• 42:32Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like not good for the environment. Doesn't, definitely doesn't decompose.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  There's a sadness to it though. You know what it is? It's because like, men can jerk off easier. Where women like, we need multiple vibrations. We need different shapes. We need a rabbit. We need like all these

• 42:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you see the TikTok of the girl that was like, sorry, is anyone using the setting?

• 42:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm, and everyone was like, no, why do they even?

• 42:55Hannah Berner?

  Why is it Morse code?

• 42:58Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, is anyone stopping, starting?

• 43:01Hannah Berner?

  Female aliens calling for help from a different planet. And we're like, what is this?

• 43:08Hannah Berner?

  Our third woman of some of the week.

• 43:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 43:11Hannah Berner?

  Is Zara Larson.

• 43:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Hannah Berner?

  I have a question. People do the Today Show all the time.

• 43:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Every day.

• 43:17Hannah Berner?

  People perform every day on the Today Show. Why is this the first time there's footage going around of an actress, I mean, a singer, like, doing their practice run at the Today Show? Have you seen this?

• 43:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Didn't see this.

• 43:29Hannah Berner?

  All over my feed is Zara Larson. It's like 4 a.m., her face is like 4 a.m., no makeup, and she's like trying to go through her practice. And I'm like, why is this being filmed and blasted everywhere?

• 43:40Paige DeSorbo?

  What is the, like,

• 43:42Hannah Berner?

  She's doing a morning-

• 43:43Paige DeSorbo?

  rhetoric of the video? Like, what are people saying?

• 43:45Hannah Berner?

  People are just like getting footage of her doing the practice, like a sound check, as they call it in the biz.

• 43:50Paige DeSorbo?

  They're not being like, oh my god, she-

• 43:52Hannah Berner?

  No, they're like, she's awesome, but like, she's barefaced and she made like a comment about it.

• 43:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You've just never seen someone practice for the Today Show?

• 43:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, there's not, why is it just Zara Larson they have on Blaz doing that? I mean, it was iconic, but like, I've never seen a sound check.

• 44:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never seen a sound check either, and I would assume because it's so early in the morning that the people aren't there yet to like get footage of celebrities. I don't think people perform that much. I think they only perform in the summer.

• 44:19Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 44:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Because they do that, like, outside summer series.

• 44:22Hannah Berner?

  But still, like, I've never seen makeupless, sound check footage. No, I don't feel bad for her, it was empowering, but I also was like, at least make it even playing field, why just make Zara Larson go out there? Because I'm not a morning person, so I saw the pain in her eyes. And I was like, I feel so bad. Also, we ran into my ex-boyfriend.

• 44:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 44:44Hannah Berner?

  We have to tell the gay guys.

• 44:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, okay. You know, when you're walking with your friend and you see someone that's like, okay, maybe not like aesthetically pleasing, and you're like, that's your boyfriend? Like, and you're joking, you're like, oh, here's Hannah's boyfriend. So anyway, me and Hannah are walking on the sidewalk, and Hannah goes, oh, that's my ex-boyfriend. And I immediately just think everything she says is a joke, so I'm like, okay, cool.

• 45:07Hannah Berner?

  I know, all the time I'll see like a crazy man running down the street because he's my ex-boyfriend.

• 45:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so I'm just thinking like, it's a bit, but I, but I didn't really look at the guy, but I just saw that he was on a bike. And so we're like, keep walking, and Hannah's like, no, really, that's my ex-boyfriend.

• 45:26Hannah Berner?

  You had zero reaction. I was like, I was twenty-two, living in Hills Kitchen. That's my ex-boyfriend.

• 45:32Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, oh, I didn't know you were serious. Then, at that same exact moment, you're still looking straight. I turn around. I see him go past on the bike and I'm like, oh, he's definitely checking to see if it was you. Then I hear him coming like behind us and I'm like, okay, just like keep bugging, keep bugging, keep bugging.

• 45:49Hannah Berner?

  Now, mind you.

• 45:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So many obstacles we're gonna have to go through.

• 45:52Hannah Berner?

  First of all, I was really sweaty.

• 45:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 45:54Hannah Berner?

  To the point that-

• 45:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You were overstimulated.

• 45:56Hannah Berner?

  I was wearing jeans and I was really sweaty and I had-

• 45:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You had been overstimulated for like the last hour.

• 46:02Hannah Berner?

  Yes, and then I put my hair up in a bun.

• 46:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Which you never do.

• 46:07Hannah Berner?

  Cause that's how hot and overstimulated it was.

• 46:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:09Hannah Berner?

  And-

• 46:10Paige DeSorbo?

  If you see Hannah's hair up, it's not good inside.

• 46:13Hannah Berner?

  It's not good. I'm freaking the fuck out. So I was already like over it. And then it was such a like moment that your ex-boyfriend would come by.

• 46:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Hannah Berner?

  So if I had been like feeling myself, I would have turned the fuck around and be like you. But I was like, we gotta get out of here. Like this is not the moment that I envisioned. This is not the timing. And cause he was one of my good ex-boyfriends. Like he didn't-

• 46:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, so like we could have said hi.

• 46:35Hannah Berner?

  No, he's done nothing wrong in his life.

• 46:37Paige DeSorbo?

  What is that like?

• 46:38Hannah Berner?

  This was a Lenora situation. This was early in my twenties. Lenora just goes, I'm over it. And I was like, but he's like, and she's like, yeah, I don't think he's the one.

• 46:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he's fine.

• 46:49Hannah Berner?

  She was like, he's fine. You're twenty-three. What are you gonna do? Date him for four more years? Get out?

• 46:53Paige DeSorbo?

  That's me.

• 46:54Hannah Berner?

  And the breakup was actually really-

• 46:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Nice.

• 46:56Hannah Berner?

  Sad.

• 46:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 46:59Hannah Berner?

  Cause like, it was just like a normal day and I was like, hey. So I had a meeting with my mom and-

• 47:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And we've decided to never see you again.

• 47:04Hannah Berner?

  We were gonna have to let you go.

• 47:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:07Hannah Berner?

  And he was like, so I can't talk to you tomorrow? Like there was like no bad vibe. Like it was really sad.

• 47:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, I don't, let me call my mom. And then I was like, yeah, she said we can't talk tomorrow. And like, she was right. Like he wasn't who I was meant to be with, but like- I actually wouldn't have, I could have not gone into comedy if I stayed with, stayed with him.

• 47:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow. I think I've had like one of those breakups.

• 47:32Hannah Berner?

  I think I would have gotten distracted, maybe later.

• 47:34Paige DeSorbo?

  But you were bored already with him.

• 47:36Hannah Berner?

  Maybe. I remember like it definitely was, it was a premature breakup. Like I definitely was like, the next day I was like, oh, I can't text him. And I'm the one who broke up with him. But it was, I was ready. There was tears, for sure. It was really sad.

• 47:52Paige DeSorbo?

  That's sad.

• 47:53Hannah Berner?

  But like, it was mature of me to be like, we need to get more people on the roster.

• 47:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't recommend sad breakups.

• 48:00Hannah Berner?

  It felt like, it felt like I was running a basketball team. And the star of my team, he was good. He's never done anything wrong. We're not winning a championship.

• 48:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Got it.

• 48:09Hannah Berner?

  So I was, they're like, what can I do better? And I'm like,

• 48:11Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just not it. You just don't have the sauce and that's fine.

• 48:14Hannah Berner?

  And we need to bring in some new blood to like, get a new team to possibly win a championship one day.

• 48:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's a great way to put it.

• 48:22Hannah Berner?

  That's literally how it was. So I actually have not had like, any real dramatic breakups. One breakup I had.

• 48:28Paige DeSorbo?

  That sounds so nice. That says a lot about you, I think, and a lot about me.

• 48:33Hannah Berner?

  Shout out all my ex-boyfriends. Also, all my ex-boyfriends, like real ex-boyfriends, don't have social media. That was what was crazy about seeing him on the bike. Cause like, he has, you search his name, nothing comes up. And his mom has texted me recently. It was one of those. Cause like, we never had beef. I never had beef with his mom. And she probably was like, I get it, girl. But like, we're cool.

• 48:53Paige DeSorbo?

  No satisfaction, like a mom years later being like, you were the one. And I'm like, bitch, I know. Tell me something I don't know.

• 49:01Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, you have amazing taste, just not with your son. But then also, once I had a breakup with a guy, I had to wait for my mom to go on vacation. So I could do it because she really liked him. And I didn't want her, so I did it while she was on vacation. She came back and I had to drop it on her. I mean, I was right. She just was like, I knew it would upset her and I didn't want to upset her before her vacation. Cause I love my mom.

• 49:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny because I get a lot of DMs of girls being like, I'm going through a breakup and very split. Some are like, what do you do to be like distracted? Like, how do I move on? And then other girls will be like, I'm devastated. Like, I was blindsided. And honestly, I feel like they should be sending like you those messages because you're more like a logical breakup where I'm.

• 49:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I hate you.

• 49:50Hannah Berner?

  You just went through a very public breakup, so people are like, wanna connect with you on it. But um, no, I'm really healthy with breakups.

• 49:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, where I'm like.

• 49:58Hannah Berner?

  I've never hooked up with an ex.

• 50:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's crazy. And do you, um, do any ever reach out to you like amicably and say like, just like been seeing what you were doing, like so proud of you?

• 50:10Hannah Berner?

  I've dated a certain character of guy who again is like chill, confident, doesn't do social media, doesn't want attention. When we broke up, he was like, I love you, I wish you the best. And then never heard from him again.

• 50:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 50:22Hannah Berner?

  I have like multiple guys like that where I can't, that's why I was so freaked out.

• 50:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I have a couple like never heard of from them again, which like, thank God.

• 50:27Hannah Berner?

  Shout out British Dave, like, I don't talk to him, like, he'll say happy birthday sometimes. If something really big happens, he'll say something.

• 50:35Paige DeSorbo?

  That's really nice.

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  He's dating a girl in Australia. And like, we just, we always loved each other. We just, it wasn't like, we never even were like official, I don't think.

• 50:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop, that's so nice.

• 50:45Hannah Berner?

  We just, cuz we like fucked with each other, like it was cool.

• 50:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know I don't have one ex-boyfriend that would dare, even dream to dare, to send me a text saying congrats on like anything? They wouldn't, it wouldn't even cross their mind. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram, but there's really never any planning behind it. And you know, I hate a workout class. That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps. And the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout.

• 51:33Paige DeSorbo?

  It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer in your headphones. I've been using this for a while now and I also feel and see myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now. So that will definitely be my next workout venture. And for less than one dollar a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether I'm doing. Doing it all correctly. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan.

• 52:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Use our link to get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 52:23Hannah Berner?

  One thing about me is with the new season, I like to have a new personality. You never have to stick to one personality and people don't talk about it enough.

• 52:30Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if I'm wearing a hat, I'm a different person. Okay, the weather totally changes how you feel and it's obviously like getting a little cooler out and I'm a different girl in a turtleneck.

• 52:43Hannah Berner?

  And part of rebranding is getting new clothes and that's why I love Revolve. They have everything I need to be a completely new person that no one's ever met before. Whether it's denim, such as an angled barrel jean, I'm so different when I'm wearing a barrel jean. People do respect me more.

• 53:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a creative director of somewhere.

• 53:05Hannah Berner?

  Then boots with a little kitten heel or a high heel. When I'm wearing boots, I command a room.

• 53:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and don't get me started on just like a really good dinner outfit. You get me a new blazer to go out to dinner, I'm having a time.

• 53:19Hannah Berner?

  Hmm. And then people forget that on Revolve, there's also beauty. They have menswear, they have home, and they have Forward Renew, which is pre-owned luxury handbags. And you know how much we love vintage.

• 53:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been recently loving Helsa's stuff. I feel like the first place I go to look is Revolve. And the number one thing I love about Revolve is order a bunch of stuff. Try it on in the comfort of your home. Easiest return ever. It's the only place I shop that I don't feel bad ordering extra stuff because I'm like, I have the luxury of trying it on and having the easiest returns.

• 53:57Hannah Berner?

  And the shipping is so fast. And if you're like me and you don't know what you're doing two days from now, and then you're like, oh shit, I have a huge important dinner. Use Revolve. It's so fast and it's curated. So the website's really easy. I have been recently obsessed with, um, just like Norma Kamali.

• 54:16Hannah Berner?

  The capris that she has are so cute for fall, so comfy, stretchy and perfect.

• 54:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Revolve also carries the brands that you genuinely know and love. There's also room for discovering things. Everything's curated. You can find new brands you love, new styles you feel like wearing. Revolve just makes shopping easier. All the brands you want consistently updated, new arrivals, fast shipping, easy returns, and inevitably something you did not know you needed until five seconds ago. Go to revolve.com/giggly to shop our faves and use code giggly for 15% off your first order. That's revolve.com/giggly code giggly for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.

• 54:56Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to-do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background. So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince

• 55:41Hannah Berner?

  one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 55:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, let's be honest. When does Wisp come up in your group chat? For me, it's UTI relief. If someone's uncomfortable, I say just use Wisp and it's handled in hours, not days. It's genuinely great. But I realized I was treating Wisp like a resource just to get antibiotics for vaginal infections and it's really so much more than Wisp is a complete health platform for women and their partners now trusted by over 2 million people nationwide. That's not a coincidence. It's because once people are there for one thing, they realize how much else is actually available to them and they streamline their care. I love that Wisp allows women to optimize their time and health so they don't need to compromise. Beyond the antibiotics everyone knows them for, Wisp

• 56:32Paige DeSorbo?

  also does birth control. You can pick your method, get it delivered, no juggling a new provider every time you want to switch. They've got skincare treatments like azelaic acid for hormonal breakouts and dark spots, plus peptides and supplements if you're building out a more proactive wellness routine. The best part is, it's all in one place. You're not re-explaining your history to five different providers, same platform, same account, actual continuity. That's the whole point. Healthcare that's as streamlined as everything else in your life already is. Take 15% off your first order with code GIGLY at hello Wisp dot com. That's hello W I S P dot com. Prescription products require a consultation with a healthcare provider and medications are available if medically appropriate. Must be 18 or older.

• 57:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Restrictions apply. See website for full details.

• 57:21Hannah Berner?

  There are a ton of great guys I dated and then there's some where it's like, they know I know who they are.

• 57:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 57:28Hannah Berner?

  The Shad's are a lot.

• 57:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, this episode took an interesting turn.

• 57:32Hannah Berner?

  I have the best breakup advice. If you're feeling like shit, first of all, if you're blindsided, like, that's not your soulmate.

• 57:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  But, um, thank you. Now go have fun. If you're single, tell yourself, I'm going out tonight. This is the song you put on that will heal everything, every time. Riding solo, Jason Derulo. Have you played that song recently?

• 58:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't.

• 58:01Hannah Berner?

  Put it on. You're good. You've moved on. You're excited. You're like, get me out there in these streets.

• 58:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I hate the phrase industry plant because I like, don't know what it is, but I feel like Jason Derulo was an industry plant. He had like a real time happening during COVID. Like he was really on the internet during COVID.

• 58:18Hannah Berner?

  He was at a point with his songs where like they all somehow like had a little cocaine in them where like they hit like.

• 58:24Paige DeSorbo?

  So catchy.

• 58:24Hannah Berner?

  It was bad, but like, like the trumpet song. Imagine me trying to pitch that to a room. Like I have, it's just about trumpets and the trumpets go.

• 58:32Paige DeSorbo?

  That is a phenomenal song.

• 58:34Hannah Berner?

  They'd be like.

• 58:34Paige DeSorbo?

  One of the best songs.

• 58:36Hannah Berner?

  On paper, sounds horrible. In person, that could change a party.

• 58:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember he like broke his tooth or something?

• 58:43Hannah Berner?

  No, I think he dated Jordan Sparks.

• 58:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Can you pass me that water?

• 58:47Hannah Berner?

  Well, whoever decided water bottles should be made for ants? Why are there ant water? Like who's like, like just have a full water bottle.

• 58:56Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not even good for you because it's in plastic and it's just like, there's so much plastic all around us. I can't take it.

• 59:04Hannah Berner?

  Um, I have two qualms with like technology right now. One, my TikTok is so bad right now where I don't know if it's because I don't scroll that often, but when I do, I'm seeing things from a month ago.

• 59:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I hate that.

• 59:19Hannah Berner?

  On my feed and I have like pop culture stuff. So they'll be like, you'll never guess what just happened. And I'm watching three minutes of it and I realize this is from three months ago. Nothing should be on your feed from April 1st.

• 59:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 59:32Hannah Berner?

  That never happens to you?

• 59:33Paige DeSorbo?

  It does, but that's when I'm always like, the government's up to something.

• 59:38Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like I don't know what's happening. The number two.

• 59:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, this is bigger than me.

• 59:42Hannah Berner?

  It's too easy to delete a, a note on your notes app.

• 59:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, I literally thought I got fired from Giggly Squad last night because I went to add something to the Giggly Squad notes app and it wasn't there.

• 59:52Hannah Berner?

  Well, I gaslit you and started laughing. I'm like, of course you don't have the Giggly Squad app on your phone.

• 59:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Did I just like delete it?

• 59:58Hannah Berner?

  I think I accidentally deleted it and it deleted you. Because I be crazy with my notes and you know you like sneeze and next thing you know you have no notes on your phone.

• 1:00:08Paige DeSorbo?

  If you had to pick one, your text messages getting subpoenaed, your notes app getting subpoenaed, what are you picking?

• 1:00:13Hannah Berner?

  Notes app, a hundred percent. My text messages are insane.

• 1:00:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, I say some crazy things to myself in my notes app.

• 1:00:21Hannah Berner?

  They'll just be like, that's not a funny joke. Like that's what they'll say in my notes app. They'll be like, I see the premise, I don't see where it's going.

• 1:00:28Paige DeSorbo?

  They'll be like, her idea when she was high is just chips and dip.

• 1:00:33Hannah Berner?

  I think it would be hilarious, my notes app. But also my notes app, what I love is you can go to 2017. And I have like my goals, I have like lists of like my to do list when I was like 25 manifestations. Or like things that I'm working on, like it's actually every now and then when you're need to like reflect on your life, scroll your notes app.

• 1:00:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:54Hannah Berner?

  You'll see like a breakup text.

• 1:00:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I always have like my long to do list.

• 1:00:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:59Paige DeSorbo?

  My 10 year plan.

• 1:01:00Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was coming up with like funny video ideas in 2016.

• 1:01:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Outfit ideas. I have a lot of outfit ideas.

• 1:01:07Hannah Berner?

  I don't have any of those, I've never.

• 1:01:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Clothes I want to order, stores I want to shop at that I don't, won't remember the name of them.

• 1:01:14Hannah Berner?

  Recipes of things that you'll never make.

• 1:01:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I actually don't have a single recipe in my notes app.

• 1:01:19Hannah Berner?

  My problem with text messages with, which people have to talk about with subpoenas is when someone's texting me, I'm leaning into their side. Doesn't mean I agree with them.

• 1:01:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, matching their energy.

• 1:01:29Hannah Berner?

  I'm ma-

• 1:01:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not gonna just leave someone out here on a limb.

• 1:01:33Hannah Berner?

  Like they'll be like, oh, these two were talking shit. I'm like, yeah, but show me talking to the other girl.

• 1:01:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 1:01:38Hannah Berner?

  I was playing both sides, babe. Like, don't, don't put me in a corner. I was, I was just getting information.

• 1:01:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I really hope that our text messages are never subpoenaed. I don't know in what situation that would happen.

• 1:01:49Hannah Berner?

  And then they throw this clip of me being like, I'm playing both sides, baby. And they go, she plays every side.

• 1:01:56Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I also had a really traumatic experience at the Netflix is a Joke Festival that I didn't bring up.

• 1:02:02Paige DeSorbo?

  What night?

• 1:02:03Hannah Berner?

  Chelsea on their show. After I was like running away from Maria Chapova, she kept trying to talk to me. I was like, stop. I run into Blakely Thornton.

• 1:02:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Hannah Berner?

  Who's hilarious, fun, we're vibing, we're loud, we're kikiing, and then he's holding a drink. And I'm just like, I'm have a sip, I'm kind of parched, I'll have a sip.

• 1:02:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  And he's like, sure, take a sip. Mezcal.

• 1:02:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 1:02:25Hannah Berner?

  What kind of deranged person doesn't warn someone that their drink is mezcal?

• 1:02:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Had you ever had it?

• 1:02:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, once, and I said, never do that again.

• 1:02:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Hannah Berner?

  Mezcal, if you don't know what it is, it's, I don't know what it is.

• 1:02:38Paige DeSorbo?

  All I want is to see you at like, an after-party at 4 a.m. Like, I just want to see what you're doing, because, but I feel the same way, mezcal is like, because it's so like smokey.

• 1:02:50Hannah Berner?

  It has a smoky, but it's like smoked salmon. Do you know what it was? Do you ever see those YouTube videos of babies eating lemons?

• 1:02:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Hannah Berner?

  That's what I was when I drank Blakely's mezcal. I put him out, I looked at him like I'd been shot.

• 1:03:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I can't drink anything that has any type of smoky, like a bourbon, I don't even know.

• 1:03:09Hannah Berner?

  But like, I'll do a spicy margarita.

• 1:03:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course, I'll do a spicy margarita.

• 1:03:13Hannah Berner?

  I'll do a whiskey ginger.

• 1:03:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Except then I have a heartburn.

• 1:03:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Spicy margaritas can be such a bad heartburn.

• 1:03:19Hannah Berner?

  To think that you're just gonna get a little like, tequila soda in your mouth.

• 1:03:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Hannah Berner?

  And then get mezcal, and he said nothing. He left me for dead.

• 1:03:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because tequila drinkers are a different breed. Like, I actually, I would say the majority of the people in my life that I'm around when they're drinking is tequila on the rocks.

• 1:03:41Hannah Berner?

  I feel like it's showing off. Like, in your heart of hearts, is that really what you want? Get?

• 1:03:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't like alcohol, I don't like the taste of anything.

• 1:03:48Hannah Berner?

  I get pineapple juice.

• 1:03:49Paige DeSorbo?

  It has to taste good for me.

• 1:03:50Hannah Berner?

  With a little bit of, a little bit of vodka.

• 1:03:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:54Hannah Berner?

  And ice, a lot of ice.

• 1:03:56Paige DeSorbo?

  That's like seventeen years old.

• 1:03:58Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, give me orange juice.

• 1:04:00Paige DeSorbo?

  But water it down, please. You're like, do you have any Sunny D back there? I just love it with a little tequila.

• 1:04:07Hannah Berner?

  Wait, Sunny D with tequila would slap. It's basically a thing that doesn't taste like alcohol.

• 1:04:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Like Sunny D with champagne would be so good.

• 1:04:16Hannah Berner?

  Lately on flights, everyone is ordering alcohol next to me.

• 1:04:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I clutch my pearls on flights sometimes and I understand that people get nervous. But the other day I was on a flight and it was literally, I think we took off at 10:10. And there was a woman behind me and she ordered the most like hardcore drink. I just like, the way she said it, she was like, one big rock, like three.

• 1:04:39Hannah Berner?

  Well, they order like they're at a fancy bar in Manhattan and I'm like, this, first of all.

• 1:04:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I like, didn't really even know you could drink on a plane.

• 1:04:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Until like that.

• 1:04:47Hannah Berner?

  Also, these businessmen are ordering mimosas. I thought that was for girls.

• 1:04:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Hannah Berner?

  Like, why are they taking up all the mimosas?

• 1:04:54Paige DeSorbo?

  A lot of people order just like straight red wine too at any time of day.

• 1:04:58Hannah Berner?

  Red wine.

• 1:04:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Where I'm like, I feel like that's an after dinner drink.

• 1:05:01Hannah Berner?

  This, it just wasn't the demo. It was like a 47 year old businessman sitting next to me who's like, bossily was like, I want a mimosa. And I was like, and then he went to white wine. Then I'm tracking this man's night. Like, I'm like, oh, we're doing another. I feel like his girlfriend being like, okay, well, we're gonna have a fight. He had like, he was, he kept switching. I'm like, why are we switching? Like, stick with an alcohol. And then he's peeing like the whole time. For the girls who are stressed when you're, and you don't fly that often and you want to get a fucking Bellini. Sorry, I love saying Bellini.

• 1:05:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Hannah Berner?

  I don't know if they're available on flights, but get it. But it's just the men ordering all these mimosas and it's like, this is a business trip. You do this every week and you always get the mimosa and it's 8 a.m. and you've been eating.

• 1:05:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Drinks on flights are for girls.

• 1:05:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it's, unless you're in a bachelorette or you're like going to Mexico.

• 1:05:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I love the girls on TikTok that pack like, first of all, the girls that have their little snack tray.

• 1:05:50Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 1:05:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Adorable. The girls that pack. There was a girl that made a full matcha. I was like, you're the cutest girl I've ever seen in my life. That's a fricking adorable. Romanticize your life. It was so sweet. And then there's like men ordering like tequila straight. I'm like, no.

• 1:06:05Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 1:06:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, you're going to see your second family, aren't you?

• 1:06:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm like, what are you celebrating?

• 1:06:13Hannah Berner?

  Go to work.

• 1:06:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, people need to ask men that more.

• 1:06:18Hannah Berner?

  Yelling on speakerphone for the first 20 minutes? Stop. Literally stop.

• 1:06:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:06:23Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so, so much. And, um, we'll talk to you next week.

• 1:06:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Hannah Berner?

  Bye.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored, catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments. With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen.

• 1:06:50Speaker 05

  You can listen to Jeff Lewis Live at home or anywhere you are. Download the SiriusXM app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more. Subscribe now and get three months free. Offer details apply.

• 1:07:07Speaker 06

  Get The Daily Show's ongoing coverage in Decision 2026. News you can trust, because we're at a desk. And I'm wearing a suit. It's the most trusted fake news in America. Comedy Central's The Daily Show. New, weeknights at 11.