Pod Insights Giggly Squad Giggling about potions, face tape, and beer pong About this episode Paige gets called out and Hannah reveals her college life hack.
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Transcript 14,836 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Paige DeSorbo? Cozy season is upon us, which is one of my favorites. I love a chill, crisp morning, and I love opening the window and like feeling it on my face. I also love when it's raining and you're having a movie marathon. And that's why you also need Bombas to make your comfiest fall staples go with all your favorite fall things. So you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year. Like the new suede moccasins are perfect for fall with cushy soles, a sheerling lining, and water-resistant suede. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to somebody facing housing insecurity. Bombas truly is the best, and I've replaced all my socks with Bombas. Head over to Bombas.com/gigglysquad and use
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0:51 Hannah Berner? This episode is sponsored by Cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where Cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate. Start your search with Cars.com. Where to next?
1:35 Hannah Berner? I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.
1:41 Paige DeSorbo? Like so many people have my location.
1:43 Hannah Berner? And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.
1:47 Paige DeSorbo? And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.
1:52 Hannah Berner? Yep. Yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?
2:06 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.
2:09 Hannah Berner? And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.
2:17 Paige DeSorbo? And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.
2:21 Hannah Berner? Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...
2:24 Paige DeSorbo? Please, nobody speak to me.
2:26 Hannah Berner? Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising, and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.
2:39 Paige DeSorbo? And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.
2:46 Hannah Berner? And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.
2:49 Paige DeSorbo? Which truly women deserve.
2:51 Hannah Berner? We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.
2:54 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.
2:57 Hannah Berner? And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer. There's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.
3:06 Paige DeSorbo? And we spend enough of our lives being on.
3:09 Hannah Berner? Exactly.
3:10 Paige DeSorbo? We don't need to be on in the car.
3:12 Hannah Berner? Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You could check out the full terms in the app.
3:25 Paige DeSorbo? We love a discount.
3:26 Hannah Berner? And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.
3:33 Speaker 02 Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
3:43 Speaker 02 I mean, the day just got away from me.
3:47 Hannah Berner? Hello.
3:50 Hannah Berner? Hello, my gigglers.
3:53 Paige DeSorbo? And I go magic.
3:54 Hannah Berner? I was just thinking of the fact that we had a full nor'easter.
3:57 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
3:58 Hannah Berner? Um, I don't know what a nor'easter is, but we had it. And it started, it started raining. It was raining last night, and Paige texts me trying to cancel this morning. Because it was raining. And I go, let's see the vibes in the morning.
4:10 Paige DeSorbo? The way people made it sound was that, like, if you didn't buy a canoe last weekend, you're fucked. That's the way they were acting.
4:18 Hannah Berner? Well, I was getting, like, weather alerts in, like, red, and, like, the red just was scaring me.
4:23 Paige DeSorbo? And it's like, in New York City, what would you do if there was a flood? Like, we would all just, like, stay in our apartments, which actually sounds like my dream day.
4:30 Hannah Berner? Like our daily day, yeah. Like, nothing would change.
4:35 Paige DeSorbo? I'm obsessed with your look right now.
4:37 Hannah Berner? Okay, I have my fake glasses on and I can't see, I can't hear.
4:39 Paige DeSorbo? I love it.
4:40 Hannah Berner? And I wore a button-up, and I haven't brushed my hair. I did a redhead two days ago, so it's hitting me this morning.
4:46 Paige DeSorbo? You know what you are as an adult.
4:53 Paige DeSorbo? First of all, it's so fucking crazy that we do Giggly Squad on Monday mornings.
4:57 Hannah Berner? No, it's so off-brand.
4:59 Paige DeSorbo? Masochistic. It's so like, oh, our podcast is easy. People like listening to it. Let's see how much harder we can make it for ourselves.
5:06 Hannah Berner? I think, oh, your voices are so calming. Well, we're, we're, we're fighting demons inside.
5:11 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, two things I want to know. One, my Dunkin' matches my outfit, which is like my whole personality today. I feel like we're very like color sorted right now. Cause you have red hair.
5:20 Hannah Berner? And, yeah. Wait, what am I as an adult?
5:23 Paige DeSorbo? You, like, you know, when you're a little kid and you're like, oh, when I'm an adult, I'm gonna wear this. Or like, when I'm an adult, I'm gonna do this. And then you become an adult and you're like, that's insane. Like, why did I want to do that? You are that embodied because you, like, you woke up today. I walked into your apartment. You're standing there like a child in the 1700s who has polio. You have no pants on. It's like I caught you in the middle of god knows what. And then you walk in, ready for the pod, you've thrown fake glasses on, a button up with sweatpants.
6:01 Hannah Berner? I was used to those just having clips where people couldn't see our pants. And then I realized, maybe last week, that the YouTube videos, they could see your whole outfit. So, um, that's something I'm dealing with internally. Um, also now I say internally because I'm wearing glasses now.
6:14 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, you're circling back internally.
6:16 Hannah Berner? I feel like if we did Giggly Squad when we both were like rested and like put together and like.
6:22 Paige DeSorbo? It'd be too calm.
6:23 Hannah Berner? It would be too calm. And also we'd have nothing funny to say. I have a list of the wazoo.
6:28 Paige DeSorbo? I was gonna say, no one hates happy women more.
6:33 Paige DeSorbo? You know, they're the most hated demographic in America. So like, how dare we come on this pod and be in like a good timeline?
6:40 Hannah Berner? I, cause I did the red eye, which is my whole personality now. Um, I ended up going to bed at like six, woke up at 1 a.m., saw your text being like, maybe I can't make it in the morning. And I was like, okay, calm down.
6:53 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, that's real friendship. Preemptively being like, hey, just a heads up, I might cancel the thing we have in 24 hours. So if.
7:01 Hannah Berner? You also love cancelling because you think you're gonna be tired. You love, she'll come back on Sunday and be like, I can't do tomorrow. I already know I can't do tomorrow. Instead, I'm like, maybe let's have a nice sleep. Let's have some coffee, see how we feel. And she's like, I know. I know in seventy two hours, I won't be able to do it.
7:18 Paige DeSorbo? No, because do you ever have something and you're like, I have something on Wednesday that's been ruining my week? Since Saturday night.
7:26 Hannah Berner? Yep. Yeah, well, okay, actually, quick mental health moments.
7:31 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
7:31 Hannah Berner? Because I think we need it.
7:32 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
7:33 Hannah Berner? First of all, I read something that said like, you're, um, we have social anxiety, me and you, for sure. And how actually social interactions are proven to be like way less anxiety inducing when you do it. Than you think. So basically telling yourself, like, you know how you put it in your head, like, it's gonna be so horrible? And then how it actually is never as bad as you think it's gonna be. And I was like, wait, that's great, because I will spend a whole day. Stressed out about like one social thing I have to do. And you always like, don't feel that bad after it.
8:07 Paige DeSorbo? No, you can trick your brain so easily. Like, if a stupid boyfriend can trick your brain.
8:14 Hannah Berner? To thinking he's a good person.
8:15 Paige DeSorbo? After you've been with your brain for thirty two years and he can come in in two months and trick you.
8:20 Hannah Berner? If you could believe in Santa Claus.
8:22 Paige DeSorbo? You can trick your brain.
8:24 Hannah Berner? So I was trying to tell myself that, because I'll like, I'll finish a show and then I have to. Maybe like meet someone I don't know after the show and I'm like, in my head, I'll be like, I can't. You just did an hour on stage and you can't say hi to someone for two minutes.
8:37 Paige DeSorbo? I totally get that.
8:39 Hannah Berner? And then I like, read that. And you know, when you read something online, it's always true.
8:43 Paige DeSorbo? Right.
8:43 Hannah Berner? So I was like, okay, this is true. Also, one more thing.
8:47 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
8:47 Hannah Berner? Therapist update. I've been doing EDMR. No, it's EMDR. EDM is a festival.
8:55 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, EDM is a genre of music.
8:57 Hannah Berner? It's really good.
8:59 Paige DeSorbo? What is it?
9:00 Hannah Berner? So basically, um, it sucks if you're like having a good day and then you have to do it. Because you're having a good day.
9:06 Paige DeSorbo? Wait. Nobody talks about that. There have been so. So many times where I'm like, what if the therapy is the problem? What if actually you've been putting me in a bad mood?
9:19 Hannah Berner? And be like, wow, life is where it's a living. And then I'm like, oh, fuck, I have therapy.
9:23 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
9:23 Hannah Berner? And you get in and she's like, okay.
9:26 Paige DeSorbo? In fact, it's not.
9:27 Hannah Berner? She go, let's go back to the worst time you ever had in your life, where you think shattered all your hopes and dreams.
9:33 Paige DeSorbo? The turning point, if you will.
9:36 Hannah Berner? Let's go to your villain origin story. And then you have to go there. It's kind of like,
9:41 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
9:41 Hannah Berner? It's not Scientology, but Scientology does this thing where, and I don't condone Scientology.
9:47 Paige DeSorbo? I'm uncomfortable that you're even.
9:50 Hannah Berner? I think it was inspired by, like, basically with EMDR, which Miley Cyrus did. You basically talk about traumatic moment, but the crazy thing is, is your brain like has created that traumatic moment to be like, whatever it wants it to be.
10:05 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
10:05 Hannah Berner? Like whether it made it easier or not as bad or worse. A lot of the time it makes it worse.
10:11 Paige DeSorbo? Totally.
10:11 Hannah Berner? You've put it.
10:12 Paige DeSorbo? And people don't remember.
10:14 Hannah Berner? What actually happened.
10:15 Paige DeSorbo? Your worst moment, the way you remember.
10:18 Hannah Berner? A hundred percent. So what she does is she's like, tell me the feelings you have in that event memory. And then you watch this thing go back and forth and like with eye movements and you just feel that feeling and it goes, it has this really cute sound. It goes like.
10:32 Paige DeSorbo? What are, what are the images that you're looking at?
10:35 Hannah Berner? It's just this like, this like.
10:36 Paige DeSorbo? Line?
10:37 Hannah Berner? White circle going back and forth.
10:39 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
10:40 Hannah Berner? And then she goes, okay, what did you feel during that? And you say it and she goes, let's focus on that emotion. So you're like reprocessing the memory so that when you think about it, you actually get like a calmness to it. And it like, kind of like makes you not keep going back to that moment as like painful.
10:57 Paige DeSorbo? Do you have like a list of moments where you're like?
11:00 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
11:04 Hannah Berner? I'm like, okay, let's bring up the next one. Chapter two.
11:10 Hannah Berner? And she's like, the tea is piping hot. I'm like, I know, bitch. I know.
11:15 Paige DeSorbo? Sometimes, okay, this is like really freaky, but sometimes, and I. I don't mean to sound unrelatable.
11:25 Hannah Berner? Is this about YSL?
11:26 Paige DeSorbo? It's so good. I'll try and like think of a traumatic moment in like my childhood or like my adolescence. And I'm like, oh my God, I can't think of anything. Was it so traumatic? I blocked it out. And then I'm like,
11:42 Paige DeSorbo? there's no way I just don't have any traumatic moments. And then I catastrophize like they were actually so bad. I can't even remember them. But like, not true.
11:52 Hannah Berner? I think yours is more just like a deep genetic.
11:55 Paige DeSorbo? Trauma?
11:56 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
11:56 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, well, wait till my mommy hears that. You're getting a, you're getting an angry text later.
12:03 Hannah Berner? So silly.
12:03 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, January 11th, got it.
12:05 Hannah Berner? Did you see what I DM'd you? It was very late last night. Um, there was a woman in Italy who was like, she made potions that were poisons. And I'm gonna mess up the story, but she gave it as like a face care, face care serum.
12:21 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
12:21 Hannah Berner? To all these women to get out of their abusive marriages. And like 600 men died during like the years that she was doing this. And then she ended up getting hired by like one of the kings because she was so good at poisoning people. And then she got too big and they obviously hated her because she was like, God forbid a woman instead of doing well.
12:38 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
12:38 Hannah Berner? And.
12:40 Paige DeSorbo? Everybody's gonna take care of her, man.
12:42 Hannah Berner? Um.
12:42 Paige DeSorbo? Wait.
12:43 Hannah Berner? Yeah. So just look that up.
12:45 Paige DeSorbo? I will look that up because whenever it rains.
12:48 Hannah Berner? I think you're related to her is what I'm trying to say.
12:49 Paige DeSorbo? Whenever it rains, I feel.
12:51 Hannah Berner? You try to cancel the podcast.
12:53 Paige DeSorbo? I feel particularly witchy. Like, I feel like I'm like, my intuition is on another level, specifically when it rains.
13:02 Hannah Berner? I know what your trauma is. You're too pretty.
13:06 Paige DeSorbo? I don't think that's it.
13:07 Hannah Berner? No, it's a hard, I know what it's like as a fellow pretty girl.
13:11 Paige DeSorbo? I don't think that's what it is because.
13:14 Hannah Berner? You walk in a room, everyone's like, this dumb, stupid, pretty bitch. I know it's like.
13:19 Paige DeSorbo? I think it's really that I'm just so educated.
13:24 Hannah Berner? Final number three, mental, are you sex, are you texting?
13:27 Paige DeSorbo? No, I wanted to bring up my notes because I actually, I think I have, I had a note.
13:32 Hannah Berner? So my final mental health moment, actually I talked about you in therapy. Cause I, well, it all comes down to me eventually, when I was doing the EDMR with the eyes going back and forth. She goes, are you falling asleep? And I said, I'm gonna be sober with you. I'm so tired right now. And she's like, okay, maybe.
13:51 Paige DeSorbo? She's thinking, not proud of the process.
13:53 Hannah Berner? She's like, you could cancel. I'm like, I don't.
13:54 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, are you going in person?
13:56 Hannah Berner? No. So I'm just like, my eyes are going back and forth and I'm like, this is putting me to sleep.
13:59 Paige DeSorbo? So she's playing this like video over Zoom and you're watching it?
14:02 Hannah Berner? Yeah, but she's watching me.
14:04 Paige DeSorbo? How many sessions have you done where you've done this?
14:07 Hannah Berner? Only three. That's why there hasn't been like a real change in me yet.
14:10 Paige DeSorbo? A real breakthrough?
14:10 Hannah Berner? No, but I like.
14:12 Paige DeSorbo? Is it the same moment you're going back to each time or are you on to a new moment?
14:16 Hannah Berner? I did the same moment for two of them and then I like was in a mood about something else and we like started that. But like, it, it all is based on a feeling. Like we could have a different moment, but we could be doing the same EDMR based in the idea of like, I'm worthless.
14:38 Hannah Berner? I don't deserve love. Like, I mean, just light stuff like that. But recently I was so tired and she's like, why are you so tired? And I was like, I mean, I'm really, I have a lot of stuff on the calendar. And she, and it all comes back to me like not saying no to things. Cause I'm like, I really feel like I don't say no to things. So then you go a little deeper. And she said something that rocked my world, even though every therapist I've been working on, like, how to say no.
15:03 Paige DeSorbo? I love when this moment happens.
15:04 Hannah Berner? And they keep saying like, just say no. I'm like, it's not that easy.
15:07 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
15:07 Hannah Berner? And she goes, what if I told you that people actually respect you less when you say yes to everything?
15:13 Paige DeSorbo? That's what your brain needed. You needed that repro- you needed it put in a different way.
15:18 Hannah Berner? Cause I was like, I have friends that I know will say yes to anything I say. And like, I don't want to, I feel like I make, I don't wanna make them uncomfortable because I know they're doing things they don't wanna do. But I'm like Paige says no to everything and like I love her more. And she was like, you have to be like Paige where she says no to things. I'm like, that's what she's been helping me because she's never said no to something and I watched the interaction and people like disrespect her. Cause it's like you're just showing them you value your time more and they value you more. And I'm like, as a people pleaser, I'm like, oh, I've been doing this all wrong.
15:50 Paige DeSorbo? If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
15:54 Hannah Berner? But I really thought that like, if I said no to something, that it would piss people off, but it's true. You give people an inch.
16:00 Paige DeSorbo? They take a mile.
16:01 Hannah Berner? Yeah, I was gonna say a farm, but yeah, a mile.
16:03 Paige DeSorbo? You can't be too accessible to people because they will suck you dry.
16:07 Hannah Berner? Yeah, because I've done a couple of things recently for people and then they want more. And I'm like, oh, I thought that was gonna make you happy with me. But I realized they're not happy with me. It's just like a selfish thing.
16:17 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, they're using you. One of my number one things I hate is being used. And I think that translates into like my working, where like it never used to translate into working. It used to be like, you're using me to like hang out with this person or you're using me because you wanna go to this like place and I can go or like, and now it's like more in a work thing where it's like, you're, you wanna work with me because you wanna make money off of me and like scram.
16:44 Hannah Berner? Yeah, scram. Wait, I love saying scram.
16:48 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, I love like, I love cutting people off.
16:55 Paige DeSorbo? I love cutting people.
16:58 Hannah Berner? This is your thirties by the way.
17:00 Paige DeSorbo? I love cutting people off, like that feeling is so good. But the next best feeling is watching them not have access to you and see how they have to move in the world without you and you're like, you have no idea what's going on. You're like, and then you even get more validated of like, wow, I really had my shit in char- like I was in charge.
17:22 Hannah Berner? I also feel like when you're with the right people in your life, like you never feel overextended. Cause like they respect your boundaries kinda thing.
17:31 Paige DeSorbo? You're the only person that I feel like that with, like that I could hang out with all the time. Do you wanna know what it is? Because you're, yeah, I actually do miss me. We're the only.
17:43 Hannah Berner? You come to my Instagram story, I miss you. I was like, okay, send a text, right here.
17:48 Paige DeSorbo? Do you wanna know what it is? You love me, but you don't wanna be me. Like, things about me disgust you. Like, you would never wanna be me, but you love that I'm me. Yeah. And that's what it is. Like, I don't wanna be you at all.
18:06 Hannah Berner? We both are literally disgusted.
18:09 Paige DeSorbo? Like, we'll do something, you'll be like, I, in your mind, I know you're like, I would fucking never, she's so dumb.
18:15 Hannah Berner? Like, when my mom tried to dress me in, like, dresses with a matching hat, I was like, burn me at stake. Like, I'd rather kill myself than be dressed in this matching set. And then you show up in a matching set, and I'm like, wait, I love that for you.
18:27 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
18:27 Hannah Berner? Yeah. Well, that's why it works.
18:29 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, that's why our, yeah, that's why we're in such a good relationship. And I think that's what you have to find.
18:35 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
18:35 Paige DeSorbo? In a partner.
18:37 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
18:37 Paige DeSorbo? Because there's too many people out here marrying their biggest op. And it's really like, they just wanna be, they wish they had your life, they wanna be you.
18:46 Hannah Berner? I even was talking about, like, some work stuff, and there was, like, a hiring process. And there's something about when you hire someone who, like, thinks they can do your job better than you. Like, that's where tension arises. It's a lot of, like, how, if you, if there's a manager that, like, wants to be in front of the camera.
19:03 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
19:03 Hannah Berner? Kind of thing, like, that kind of vibe, where, like, yeah.
19:06 Paige DeSorbo? I saw this TikTok video, and it was this girl being like,
19:10 Paige DeSorbo? if you were on a plane, and the plane was going down, and someone said, can anyone land this plane? And a man raised their hand, and a woman raised their hand, who are you picking? And the woman said, I pick the woman. And she was, and the person was like, why would you pick the woman? And she was like, because no woman has ever gone out for a job that she thinks she's overqualified for. We do the opposite. So if a woman is raising her hand, saying she can land a plane, she most likely can land that plane.
19:44 Hannah Berner? She's done it.
19:44 Paige DeSorbo? And the guy, there's a more, like.
19:47 Hannah Berner? Ego.
19:48 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, there's more of a chance that he's lying and being like, yeah, I could probably do it. Because men like oversell themselves because they're like, that's how they're like raised, that like they can. They might not be qualified, but they're trying out for jobs.
20:00 Hannah Berner? I met a guy on the road, um, doing crowd work. He says he does, straight man. He says, do, he does facial reconstruction surgery, which is like a very serious thing. Like if someone's like.
20:13 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, wait, I'm going to a facial balance doctor after this. And I'm so excited.
20:18 Hannah Berner? This is my thing. I looked at him and I said, I love your work. I love what you do for the community. I do not want a straight man.
20:25 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
20:26 Hannah Berner? Working on my face. Straight men would be like, they'd be like, look, your tits are great. Not sure about the face. Haven't even looked at it. Get out of here. I want a bitchy gay man being like, you're cunt. Like, yes, we're hitting every angle. Like a straight man reconstructing my face. Straight men don't know you have faces.
20:44 Paige DeSorbo? No.
20:44 Hannah Berner? They.
20:46 Paige DeSorbo? I don't think they know proportions.
20:47 Hannah Berner? What is, um, the facial balancing thing? Is this?
20:51 Paige DeSorbo? So two of my friends have gone to this person and they were like, basically you go in and you say like, because I've never gotten botox.
20:59 Hannah Berner? Is everything okay at home?
21:02 Paige DeSorbo? So one of my girlfriends saw a picture of herself and she nearly threw up.
21:07 Paige DeSorbo? She was like, I have to do something. She goes to this doctor.
21:10 Hannah Berner? Was it just the lighting possibly?
21:11 Paige DeSorbo? She just like was having a moment. She was just like, I will end it if I don't get some plastic surgery. So she goes to this doctor and the doctor was like, I don't know if she's a dermatologist or if she's a plastic surgeon, but she's basically.
21:26 Hannah Berner? Or she's just a sketch artist.
21:27 Paige DeSorbo? Botox forward. She's more like skincare and like different things you can do before you get to botox.
21:33 Hannah Berner? Got it.
21:33 Paige DeSorbo? But if there was something you wanted to tweak, like she would be like, well, I would put a little botox over here because that'll help over there. But like you don't need to.
21:41 Hannah Berner? It's subtle.
21:42 Paige DeSorbo? It's subtle. It's more like balancing rather than like preventative or like age. It's more of like math.
21:49 Hannah Berner? Is this about your eye bone?
21:51 Paige DeSorbo? I knew you were gonna go there. I knew you were gonna go there. I'm just inquiring.
21:57 Hannah Berner? It's a consultation.
21:58 Paige DeSorbo? It's a consultation.
22:01 Hannah Berner? It's an information gathering meeting.
22:03 Paige DeSorbo? Now, if I walk in there and she's like.
22:08 Paige DeSorbo? She's like, it's about time. I'm doing whatever she says.
22:12 Hannah Berner? I do have to say, I went to a dentist once and they were like, you know how you're like, if you would do anything, what would you do? And she mentioned like, she would like fill in like one part of my tooth. And I'm like, I never even saw that before. I don't need that. The way it's grown in my head. Like she planted a seed with four years later. I'm like, if I have to look at this uneven tooth any longer, I didn't even know it was uneven before.
22:32 Paige DeSorbo? No, and that's the internet will do that to you. I'm like, wait a minute. I started zooming in on my own pictures. I was like, they're right. How could I not catch that?
22:42 Hannah Berner? You did an interview recently and the quote was like, every now and then a hate comment just eats.
22:46 Paige DeSorbo? And it does. And like, I'll give credit where credit's due.
22:50 Hannah Berner? Well, I'm dealing with some abuse online currently because I'm wearing a skirt on stage because I have some jokes that involve the scort and my knees are out and.
23:01 Paige DeSorbo? If you're gonna do a man's job, how dare you dress like a woman?
23:07 Hannah Berner? No, but because my knees are up, people are like commenting on my knees. And this guy said that my knees look like the face of a manatee. And now I can't see it. But this is the thing, like, are we not allowed to have knees?
23:19 Paige DeSorbo? I've never even looked at a knee.
23:21 Hannah Berner? And like, I have muscular legs. So like, there's muscles around the knee. But like, I just feel like we've gone too far.
23:28 Paige DeSorbo? We've gone too far in criticizing women. If we're going to.
23:32 Hannah Berner? But I'm like, is my face that stunning that all he has left is my knee?
23:36 Paige DeSorbo? There is a woman on TikTok who made a video basically being like, I shower once a week, maybe twice a week. And the internet was like, something's wrong with you mentally. There's like, things are going on. There's more factors. Like, there's no way you think that's normal, whatever. Instead of fighting the internet back, she kind of leaned in and was like, you're right. There's like so many factors on why I don't shower every single day. She has now taken to TikTok documenting her showering every single day. She's 26 days in.
24:15 Hannah Berner? Is she enjoying it?
24:16 Paige DeSorbo? She's loving it. She's obsessed with that. She's like, I'm glowing. People are like, yeah, you're clean. Like, you have no dirt on your face.
24:26 Hannah Berner? Wait, remember the girl with dirt on her face? Is she okay? Has anyone checked on her?
24:29 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, that girl that was like, I'm not washing my face for seven years.
24:33 Hannah Berner? Yeah, and she had like-
24:35 Paige DeSorbo? I think she's like back to normal.
24:36 Hannah Berner? Oh, you're like, I think she died.
24:37 Paige DeSorbo? The girl that had a scar on her face.
24:40 Hannah Berner? I was down that rabbit hole for a while.
24:42 Paige DeSorbo? It has gone in so many different pockets.
24:44 Hannah Berner? You know what it is? I think we're all dealing with a lot of stuff and we just like to take it out on a woman online.
24:48 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
24:49 Hannah Berner? That's easier than like, than dealing with societal issues, systemic issues. Let's just make fun of a girl who, if she has a scar or not.
24:57 Paige DeSorbo? Well, I think she was like faking that scar.
24:59 Hannah Berner? Or like it wasn't as bad as she was making it out, but look-
25:01 Paige DeSorbo? I honestly, I blame like Netflix because like they've put out so many true crime documentaries and like, people are investigators.
25:09 Hannah Berner? I did watch the Ed Geyen documentary, I told you, and some girl was going viral for saying that her grandma was one of the women that he dug up. But then I'm like, are you just saying that?
25:20 Paige DeSorbo? Oh.
25:21 Hannah Berner? I don't know.
25:22 Paige DeSorbo? See, you can't tell me anything. I'm like, one more detail. Like, let's, let's talk about it. Have you ever signed up to buy something and then realized it was actually on a subscription basis and you never really knew? Because the emails weren't coming in, they were just kind of going to your trash. Well, you need Rocket Money. A personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. So you can grow your savings. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes back and does all the work to get a better deal.
26:02 Paige DeSorbo? They'll even talk to customer service, so you don't have to. You can get alerts if your bills increase in price. And if there's any unusual activity in your accounts. If you're close to going over budget, you'll get an alert. And even if you're doing a good job, you'll get an alert. Rocket Money's five million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions with members- is saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter Giggly Squad in the survey so they know that we sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from Giggly Squad. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women.
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28:12 Paige DeSorbo? Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design Consultations so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C O Z E Y dot com. Make yourself at home. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afagato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge.
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30:23 Paige DeSorbo? And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night. Because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a T-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code giggly15.
31:02 Hannah Berner? I was in your favorite place this weekend. Vegas.
31:09 Hannah Berner? Vegas. It was wild because these like preteens were running around and they were like not wearing a lot of clothes. But I miss Vegas and my mom was like, oh, what's going on? Because we're in the casino. And I go, oh, there must be a pool party. And then I realized they weren't wearing bikinis. They were like.
31:27 Paige DeSorbo? You know for a fact that they were what like 13, 14 years old?
31:30 Hannah Berner? They were probably like 16, 17, 18. But I'm of that age where I'm like, yeah, there's a pool party. And they're like, no, that's what they're wearing to the club.
31:39 Paige DeSorbo? No, wait, you are so gonna be the mom where they're where they're pulling things over on you. I feel like I'm gonna have to call you and be like, Hannah, well, obviously not. They're they're not studying on a Saturday night. Did you check in their bags?
31:57 Hannah Berner? This is my question. How like I never can tell when my friends are on drugs, but like.
32:04 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, just pause, pause. Because that's actually one of my favorite things about you is to be out with you. And for you to watch other people be on drugs.
32:15 Hannah Berner? As someone who's seen this happen to me, can you just tell me for real right now? Do they talk beforehand and say, don't tell Hannah? Or did they think I'm already high because I'm like energetic? Is it strategic? Because like they have gotten past me. They've gotten the wool over my eyes every time. Or am I just not looking in the right direction?
32:34 Paige DeSorbo? I think it's more.
32:35 Hannah Berner? Because no one tells me.
32:36 Paige DeSorbo? No one tells you.
32:37 Hannah Berner? Why don't I even get an invite?
32:38 Paige DeSorbo? Nobody invites you, I think, because you don't give off the vibe that you would be into it. So it's like a waste of a conversation to even have.
32:45 Hannah Berner? That's like that one guy who like.
32:47 Paige DeSorbo? Hannah, you cried last time you smoked weed.
32:49 Hannah Berner? I know.
32:52 Hannah Berner? But not everyone knows my history. No, like not even.
32:56 Paige DeSorbo? Even in college, no one like ever offered you like.
32:58 Hannah Berner? No, but I was on the tennis team. So it was like, it was a very like drug, we get drug tested. But like, I don't know what energy I'm putting off. No one's even offering me a cig. Not even a drunk cig. Do I give snitch energy? Do I have snitch face?
33:16 Paige DeSorbo? You're giving narc.
33:18 Hannah Berner? Do I look like an undercover cop?
33:20 Paige DeSorbo? No, I'm gonna be honest, I haven't been offered drugs in a while.
33:22 Hannah Berner? But also, like, I've been at parties where people don't know that I cry over weed. But like, they all just disappear in the bathroom and I'm sitting outside and they're all in the bathroom and I'm like, someone has a stomach ache. And then they come out and I'm like, is everyone okay? And they're like, yeah. And then they're like dancing and I, like, no one ran by me. This is why I don't like social situations.
33:44 Paige DeSorbo? My favorite story still, still to this day is you being like, and then they went into the bathroom and then they came out very energetic. Dancing all over. What do you think that means? Get out of there!
33:57 Hannah Berner? I didn't get it.
33:58 Paige DeSorbo? I know you didn't.
33:59 Hannah Berner? So anyway, everyone in Vegas was having fun. Um, I watched a Luther Vandross documentary.
34:04 Paige DeSorbo? And how was that?
34:06 Hannah Berner? Oh my god. Have you, do you remember Luther Vandross?
34:09 Paige DeSorbo? I mean, not personally, but yeah, I've heard some things.
34:12 Hannah Berner? The thing about Luther Vandross is it starts, and this man is flaming gay. And he has the voice of, like, the best voice ever. And, um, he was always like battling his weight. This man, the way he would have loved Ozzy Bick.
34:26 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
34:27 Hannah Berner? Um, and, but he never was able to come out. I know. And it's like the gay-
34:33 Paige DeSorbo? Very nickel.
34:37 Paige DeSorbo? That was so sad.
34:40 Paige DeSorbo? Really, if you think about it.
34:42 Hannah Berner? He became like a heartthrob because he was gorgeous and had an amazing voice and he was singing love songs. So he was afraid, like George Michael, like if he came out, the girls would turn on him. I would argue the girls would not turn on him. We're always there for you.
34:53 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah. Nobody loves the gays.
34:55 Hannah Berner? I recommend that documentary. My mom was on tour with me.
34:59 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
35:01 Hannah Berner? Which, look.
35:03 Hannah Berner? My mom is, you'd think she did cocaine. She is hyped up. She doesn't sleep.
35:07 Paige DeSorbo? She's energetic.
35:08 Hannah Berner? When she's awake, she's awake. And then at like 10:30, she's out.
35:11 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
35:11 Hannah Berner? But like, I was taking naps and she was just standing over me.
35:15 Hannah Berner? And she's like, hello? And I'm like, Mom.
35:19 Paige DeSorbo? She's like befuddled.
35:20 Hannah Berner? Yeah, she's pacing in the room.
35:22 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
35:23 Hannah Berner? Um, but so I was trying to tire her out. So I was like, let's do a Pilates class. Tiring your mom out is a real thing.
35:31 Paige DeSorbo? No, tiring your mom out is a real thing. It's, there is a moment in your thirties where it's now, like, and if you don't have kids, it's almost like the universe preparing you for kids because your parents are now your children.
35:50 Hannah Berner? Well, they are hyped up.
35:52 Paige DeSorbo? They're hyped up.
35:53 Hannah Berner? And then my dad is always napping.
35:54 Paige DeSorbo? They honestly don't know their limit. They get, they get overtired. Okay. They think they can do more than they can.
36:03 Hannah Berner? I tell her, let's go to Pilates in the morning because I need you to start simmering down around like 5:00 PM.
36:09 Paige DeSorbo? You have to give them something the next day to look forward to.
36:14 Hannah Berner? Well, it was like when she would visit me in college, she'd come with me to classes and I'd fall asleep in class because I was tired. And she would take my notebook and start writing notes for me.
36:22 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, wait.
36:25 Hannah Berner? You don't know this. Well, I had 6:00 AM workouts.
36:28 Paige DeSorbo? You took cheating to the, you're like, my scribe is here.
36:33 Hannah Berner? Literally, she's like raising her hand. Can you repeat that? We couldn't hear you back here.
36:36 Paige DeSorbo? Wait.
36:36 Hannah Berner? My daughter's snoring.
36:37 Paige DeSorbo? How did you get your mom into the classroom?
36:40 Hannah Berner? I think there was like, well, at Wisconsin, there were like huge classes. So it was very easy to sleep.
36:44 Paige DeSorbo? So one day you were just like, you know what? You know, why don't we kill two versus one this June? You come with me, I'll nap. You write everything down. Wait, that's genius.
36:57 Hannah Berner? I know. It was amazing. She had better handwriting than me.
37:00 Paige DeSorbo? College assistants. Yes. You know, like, I don't care about my kid getting in, like me paying to get them into a school. How about I pay for an assistant to walk around with them, make sure they have their stuff?
37:15 Hannah Berner? That is a new level of, of tutoring. Um, so anyway, we live by Pilates. We love Pilates. This is a Pilates family. So I, when I go to a new city, I try to find the Pilates class. You guys, if you see I'm going to your city and you have a good Pilates, recommend it for me. So I find this place called Salt Vault. And I was like.
37:36 Paige DeSorbo? Sounds as good as any of them.
37:37 Hannah Berner? Yes.
37:37 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
37:38 Hannah Berner? So we get there and it says like heated.
37:43 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, like no T, it has like no E, it's just a D.
37:47 Hannah Berner? Yeah, it it looks intense.
37:50 Paige DeSorbo? It's like heat apostrophe D.
37:51 Hannah Berner? There's always an X somewhere. I'm like, why did we throw in an X? This is, and it's like, you know, it just looked intense.
37:57 Paige DeSorbo? It's like the whole room's pink and that part's just like black.
38:00 Hannah Berner? And for people who don't know, like my mom, she's tiny.
38:02 Paige DeSorbo? She's small.
38:03 Hannah Berner? You hug her too much, you'll break her. She is dainty.
38:06 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, needs iron pills.
38:07 Hannah Berner? Yeah, no, actually, calcium iron.
38:10 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, she's anemic.
38:11 Hannah Berner? So we we immediately are looking at each other and I was like, I don't know if this is what I thought it was.
38:16 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
38:16 Hannah Berner? And we walk in and the lady's so nice at the desk and I go, is this reformer Pilates? And she goes, oh, no, this is um, Matt with um, music. Um, and I go, is it heated? She goes, not this class. I go, great. Look at my mom, Matt Pilates is like scary.
38:34 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
38:34 Hannah Berner? And my mom's.
38:35 Paige DeSorbo? And heated.
38:35 Hannah Berner? My mom's like, we could do this, like, we could do this. And I go, okay, okay, Lenore. So we get in, the room is like a club. It's immediately.
38:44 Hannah Berner? And my mom's looking at me, it's all these like hot girls and then my mom's a hot girl, obviously, but she's like, um, I don't know if we should do this. And I'm like, mom, we can't get out now.
38:53 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, like we're in it.
38:54 Hannah Berner? We're in it, we already, we already got our towels.
38:56 Paige DeSorbo? My water bottle down, we're here, we've made a statement.
38:59 Hannah Berner? Everyone's seen us.
39:00 Paige DeSorbo? They handed out towels, we have one.
39:04 Hannah Berner? I'm like, are we gonna use the bathroom? Like, we can't leave after that. So my mom goes through a forty five minute class of intense, like it was one of those like.
39:15 Paige DeSorbo? Now during it, was she like, I hate this, like to you, or like was she doing it?
39:20 Hannah Berner? We were just making eye contact and she was smiling and I first thought she was having fun and afterward she told me, when you're going through severe pain, if you smile, it's supposed to help it hurt less. I said, mom.
39:32 Hannah Berner? I thought you were actually having a good time. And she's like, no, I was scared for my fucking life. Um.
39:38 Paige DeSorbo? No, he thought he was having a heart attack.
39:40 Hannah Berner? So the class was fucking amazing, Salt Vault in San Diego. The instructor. Was spectacular.
39:46 Paige DeSorbo? Now, did she take a nap after or she wasn't tired?
39:49 Hannah Berner? Yes, thank God. But like, there was a moment where I was like, this is, she's only like sixty, but like, this was older abuse. Like, I threw in this class.
39:58 Paige DeSorbo? No, because you have to be worried about.
40:00 Hannah Berner? And my mom, like, she goes hard. Like, when she's like, oh, it's okay, you can put your knees down. Like, my mom wasn't doing it. I'm like, mom.
40:05 Paige DeSorbo? She wasn't doing modifications.
40:06 Hannah Berner? She wasn't modifying. And, yeah.
40:13 Paige DeSorbo? We're better for it.
40:14 Hannah Berner? We're better for it. So, yeah, that was scary, but we survived.
40:18 Paige DeSorbo? Wow. You took her to Vegas. This was in Vegas?
40:21 Hannah Berner? This was in San Diego.
40:22 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, okay.
40:22 Hannah Berner? Vegas was funny because she'd already seen my show like three times, and she always have notes. Lenora has notes. And we've made some great additions, edits. But then she decided to go to Earth, Wind & Fire.
40:38 Paige DeSorbo? By herself?
40:43 Hannah Berner? Which, by the way, if you don't listen to Earth, Wind & Fire, go download that on Spotify.
40:48 Paige DeSorbo? Lenora had Earth, Wind & Fire is my Bravo con.
40:52 Hannah Berner? Lenora went alone to Earth, Wind & Fire, was dancing, sending me videos, going on stage. She ended up catching my show afterwards.
41:01 Paige DeSorbo? She had a time in Vegas.
41:04 Hannah Berner? Lenora had a time in Vegas. We were by like the gondolas. We almost did a gondola, except it would be my nightmare to be like stuck on a gondola and then the guy starts singing. And you pay like a lot of money to be on the gondola.
41:16 Paige DeSorbo? I don't know why anyone would ever do that.
41:19 Hannah Berner? I was like, can I pay you to stop singing?
41:22 Paige DeSorbo? My worst nightmare is, one, being trapped somewhere, and then, two, having to listen to someone sing.
41:27 Hannah Berner? A man singing.
41:29 Paige DeSorbo? No.
41:29 Hannah Berner? A man singing. So, yeah, Vegas was Vegas-ing.
41:33 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
41:33 Hannah Berner? It was great. How are you?
41:39 Paige DeSorbo? Let's start the pod.
41:40 Hannah Berner? How's it going?
41:41 Paige DeSorbo? You know, I've been good. I've been really good.
41:44 Hannah Berner? I like your ponytail.
41:47 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, you know what?
41:49 Hannah Berner? I knew there'd be a story.
41:51 Paige DeSorbo? It is so overstimulating being a girl. Like this more, do you ever just, you've been infiltrating my brain because more recently, I'm like, I have to shave my head.
42:07 Hannah Berner? Wait.
42:07 Paige DeSorbo? I'm so overstimulated by my hair.
42:10 Hannah Berner? Paige has been like sending me cute like pixie cut looks and I'm, I start evil laughing and go.
42:16 Paige DeSorbo? Literally this, I think this is what you've done our whole friendship. You get one idea and you're like, let me see if I can implant this in Paige's brain.
42:23 Hannah Berner? And I say it to you and you go, are you fucking kidding me? And I go, just wait four years.
42:28 Paige DeSorbo? Literally, your track record is getting less and less years. It took six for a cat. The pixie might come in four, we don't know.
42:35 Hannah Berner? Well, Kim K did it, but hers looked like so similar to her mom's.
42:40 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
42:41 Hannah Berner? And I.
42:42 Paige DeSorbo? I didn't love hers, honestly.
42:45 Hannah Berner? I just.
42:45 Paige DeSorbo? And she's my north star, but like.
42:48 Hannah Berner? But it just shows like it's happening. The girls are shaving their heads.
42:52 Paige DeSorbo? No, pixies are like happening all around the world. The men have been doing it for years.
42:58 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
42:58 Paige DeSorbo? So we'll just like see, it, it's not happening anytime soon, but it's just like, when it's raining and you're also a woman and you've just gotten over your period, everything is overstimulating.
43:08 Hannah Berner? Yeah, you tried to cancel the day before.
43:10 Paige DeSorbo? Like I just, I can't have hair on my face. Like I can't, the thought of putting leggings on, like I just, I can't.
43:16 Hannah Berner? It's one of those things where, like you said, like we don't want to be each other. But my thing is every now and then I'm like, if I was you.
43:23 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
43:23 Hannah Berner? I'd shave my head.
43:24 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, that is so funny because.
43:29 Paige DeSorbo? Sometimes I'll be like, Hannah's not even worried about her outfit for this. Like.
43:34 Hannah Berner? We literally infiltrated you.
43:35 Paige DeSorbo? Doesn't care, she'll pick it tomorrow and I'm over here, three days of agony. Like it's not right. Like you tried to spring something on me today to do on Wednesday.
43:45 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
43:45 Paige DeSorbo? All that was going through my head was like, but I don't have an outfit. And like, I know you don't have one either.
43:52 Paige DeSorbo? But like, it's more critical that I don't have an outfit.
43:55 Hannah Berner? But also like, I'm going to be stressed too, but I'm just going to have like two hours of stress right before the event.
44:00 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
44:01 Hannah Berner? Where you'll stress yourself out.
44:02 Paige DeSorbo? I've already actually agreed to come, canceled it. I'm going anywhere.
44:08 Paige DeSorbo? Texted the necessary people said, scratch that idea. I'm actually not going anymore.
44:12 Hannah Berner? Oh, God. Well, this is what sucks when we, um, when there's an event and one of us.
44:18 Paige DeSorbo? Wants to go.
44:20 Hannah Berner? Then the other one kind of like goes, but it's like, kind of, it's hard.
44:26 Paige DeSorbo? It's just hard.
44:27 Hannah Berner? But it is weird seeing us at events without each other, because I'm like.
44:31 Paige DeSorbo? No, I don't, I can't do it, actually. It's like, it's uncomfortable.
44:35 Hannah Berner? You're doing a lot of press and normally I'm holding your hand.
44:40 Hannah Berner? What happens?
44:41 Paige DeSorbo? I'm backstage with Jimmy Fallon, right? Okay. I take my beta blocker. I do hair and makeup. I get there. I do my TikTok. I do the pictures. I see Jimmy. I take my beta blocker right on time of like, it's gonna hit right when I'm going out there.
44:58 Paige DeSorbo? I'm actually not as anxious as I thought I'm going to be, but I'm not speaking, like.
45:05 Hannah Berner? Oh, you've gone mute.
45:08 Hannah Berner? They're doing the TikTok and they're like, can you just move your mouth?
45:11 Paige DeSorbo? If you know me, I go mute at a certain point where then it's like, don't talk to me, don't touch me. Don't even really look in my general direction.
45:22 Hannah Berner? Was your team like, who is this?
45:24 Paige DeSorbo? Everyone's like, Paige is like, I think, a little bit anxious.
45:26 Hannah Berner? Did you fall asleep in the green room?
45:28 Paige DeSorbo? No, but obviously my mom walks over and she's like, you're not nervous, are you? Everyone says you're nervous, but you're not, right? You're not.
45:35 Hannah Berner? You always do this.
45:36 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, and I'm like, okay, no, I'm not nervous.
45:38 Hannah Berner? She goes, hey, babe, stop.
45:40 Paige DeSorbo? I was doing my hair like natural curly waves. So at one point, Mitchell was like, dip your head over so I can like fluff up your hair and then flip it back. So I do it and I get like a head rush of like such anxiety.
45:57 Hannah Berner? It's the little things that'll get you.
45:59 Paige DeSorbo? And I'm like, oh, that was scary. I'm never doing that again. So then I'm standing literally at the door right before you walk out. And Mitchell turns and goes, do you want to do one more head flip before you go out? And I turned and I go, I'll have a panic.
46:19 Paige DeSorbo? I can't put my head right now, Mitchell. Because I have a panic attack.
46:24 Hannah Berner? For people who don't know Paige's team, Mitchell runs the show. Paige's hair is the forefront and then everything else is an accessory. Every now and then you'll turn and Mitchell just has, what is it called? A flamethrower. What is?
46:38 Paige DeSorbo? Like a wind?
46:40 Hannah Berner? A wind blower.
46:41 Paige DeSorbo? A leaf blower.
46:42 Hannah Berner? A leaf blower. How did you get the leaf blower into security?
46:48 Paige DeSorbo? The amount of places he's whipped. We're like, how did that fit in your pocket?
46:54 Hannah Berner? And Mitchell's worked with me before against his will. And my nervous tick is touching my hair.
47:01 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
47:01 Hannah Berner? And he'll just be looking at me, fuming. Cause he just spent seven hours on making my hair perfect.
47:08 Paige DeSorbo? Mitchell is a perfectionist.
47:10 Hannah Berner? So, no, like he, me and him, like he can't with me.
47:12 Paige DeSorbo? There have only been a couple of times where I've been like, Mitchell?
47:17 Paige DeSorbo? I'm gonna freaking lose my mind. You took my head off my top.
47:21 Hannah Berner? But I love how he's like, I don't give a fuck if you have a panic attack. Flip your hair, because if you're gonna have a panic attack, it better look volumous.
47:29 Paige DeSorbo? He's like, no one has sympathy for your panic attack because your hair looks like shit.
47:33 Hannah Berner? It is crazy though, because when I did my first round appearance, doing stand up, which is a whole nother monster. I mean, I was, I couldn't have been more nervous, like before the curtain.
47:42 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, so you know how the guy's like, okay, and they're gonna announce your name?
47:44 Hannah Berner? And he's so chill.
47:45 Paige DeSorbo? And he's like, and then I'm gonna whip the curtain up and then you're just gonna go. He was giving me that spiel and in my head, I like was trying to telepathically say to him, I'm gonna have.
47:56 Paige DeSorbo? Like, I was like, no, I usually, and I was trying to explain it to other people. I was like, you don't understand. When I do it with Hannah, she walks first. She talks first. Then I have a second to give myself, like, okay, and we're here and we're doing it. But I didn't have to talk first. So I was like, but now she's not here, so I have to walk.
48:15 Hannah Berner? How does someone start a sentence? How do you put words together?
48:21 Hannah Berner? We are so comfortable together.
48:23 Paige DeSorbo? That's literally me backstage. I'm like, I don't remember English. Just, I can only speak Spanish.
48:30 Hannah Berner? So you only know Spanish? All your high school classes, you're like, oh, yo comprendo.
48:39 Hannah Berner? I saw the clip. You look so relaxed and like effortless.
48:44 Paige DeSorbo? Thank you. Well, that is my new thing now is like if I do something then and it's over. Everyone's like, no one could even tell that you were freaking out. Like that's how people congratulate me. They're like, no one even knows that you're a fucking wreck.
48:58 Hannah Berner? You know, one of my Ryder Cup interviews, like there's something about going live that's really scary. And I was like totally chill, but it was like 5am. I don't know. The men were yelling and it goes live. And I realized my hand is shaking and after it, I was like, my hand was shaking. That's so embarrassing. And then I watched it. You can't see my hand shaking.
49:16 Paige DeSorbo? No, I've had an eye twitch for three months.
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51:29 Paige DeSorbo? vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Giggly Squad, as we know, is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if you've ever had intrusive thoughts, you're not alone. For millions of people, it's not just anxiety, that's OCD. And most of them have no idea. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And these thoughts can feel very real, which makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment.
52:11 Paige DeSorbo? NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live, face-to-face virtual sessions with support between sessions, so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NoCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at learn.nocd.com/giggly. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram, but there's really never any planning behind it. And you know I hate a workout class. That's why I've been loving the Ladder app.
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53:56 Hannah Berner? Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats, I'm a cat missionary, and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.
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54:52 Hannah Berner? Mental health moment, another one. I'm on my shit today. Yeah, it's your glasses. Because I have glasses on, I'm so therapist. In order to fall asleep, you first have to pretend you're sleeping.
55:07 Hannah Berner? Chris is confused.
55:07 Paige DeSorbo? Honestly, and it sounds like waves outside.
55:11 Hannah Berner? No, think about it. In order to sleep, you first have to pretend you're sleeping.
55:14 Paige DeSorbo? You have to read through the lines, Chris. Anything you want in life, you have to pretend that you already have it.
55:19 Hannah Berner? So when you're going out to do something that's scary, you first have to pretend
55:23 Paige DeSorbo? You've already done it.
55:24 Hannah Berner? You're not scared and you've already done it. So everyone take that with you for the rest of the week. By the way, the girls are chugging their refreshers. They keep getting DMs. Um, I'm drinking my mango pineapple less concentrate green tea and it's so good. What about you?
55:40 Paige DeSorbo? I now pick my refresher based on my outfit. So I'm doing my blueberry, but it's a little more concentrated because I was wearing a darker color.
55:51 Hannah Berner? And I love that for you. I know you know exactly how many, um, how much concentrate you need to hit the burgundy level you want. Um, I have some like celebrity tea.
56:03 Hannah Berner? So I've been like texting around because like when someone comes out with a new face, I'm on it.
56:08 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I know whose face you're talking about.
56:10 Hannah Berner? I don't want to name any names right now because we protect, um, we protect identities and women on this pod. But
56:17 Paige DeSorbo? Emma Stone.
56:21 Hannah Berner? Okay, Emma Stone is my North Star.
56:24 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
56:25 Hannah Berner? So some celebrities, apparently, they're just doing really good face tape.
56:35 Hannah Berner? And it could be a lie and I could be spreading a lie and like this could be propaganda, but I think that some looks like they are just snatching their whole face back with face tape. And it's like the technology's gotten better where it doesn't look, I mean, Dochi just does it and it's cute.
56:52 Paige DeSorbo? I was just gonna say, she does it and like wears it.
56:54 Hannah Berner? Yeah, but I think that there's subtle ones that like the, the human eye can't see.
57:00 Paige DeSorbo? I would understand that because there are some times where I'm like, this look needs a ponytail because I need my face snatched back. It's just like, I'll do it to myself.
57:10 Hannah Berner? Yeah. So I think, or like if you have a wig, it's easy to just throw on some face tape.
57:15 Paige DeSorbo? I also think. That women that are like, I would say what Emma Stone's probably only like a couple years older than us, right? Like, maybe she's like thirty six, thirty seven. I think that women are doing baby, baby facelifts.
57:31 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
57:32 Paige DeSorbo? And they're foregoing like a bunch of botox and fillers and all of like that stuff. And they're just doing a simple incision.
57:41 Hannah Berner? Mm hmm.
57:42 Paige DeSorbo? Pull.
57:42 Hannah Berner? Mm hmm. Well, I do have to say, the Gen Z's, I feel so bad that they, they're almost like ex- rice, rice, mice experiments for filler. And they were just like, oh, like, let's put some filler, it's cute. And then, like, the millennials.
58:01 Paige DeSorbo? I hate to blame a woman. I hate to blame a woman. But all of these Gen Z women who have succumbed to plastic surgery, all that really tells me is that they don't have scary moms. None of their moms are terrifying, and it shows. Because you're telling me you can come home with a new face. I would get literally eviscerated. My mom knew when I spent one extra minute in the tanning bed.
58:31 Hannah Berner? Oh, my god.
58:32 Paige DeSorbo? She's like, you ruined your gorgeous face. You ruined it, you ruined it, you're done, you ruined. You're like, if I went and got my eyebrows waxed a little too thin, she would be like, you're, you're done, you're done in this town.
58:46 Hannah Berner? You've never dyed your hair.
58:48 Paige DeSorbo? I've never dyed my hair. The fear of my mother has honestly saved me in so many different situations.
58:56 Hannah Berner? Italian moms instill a fear in you. It's such a unique thing.
59:00 Paige DeSorbo? Fear guilt, it's all.
59:02 Hannah Berner? I told you, once I, uh, my brother and I, he was, we were like eighteen, my brother's like, I'm gonna smoke weed, but like, I don't know how to do it in, like, in the backyard or whatever. And we've, my side backyard, like, on the stoop.
59:14 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
59:14 Hannah Berner? And I was like, stop with all the drama, like, let's just ask mom. And he's like, are you out of your fucking mind?
59:20 Paige DeSorbo? No one invites you to do drugs.
59:24 Paige DeSorbo? This is why you broke it into the bathroom.
59:26 Hannah Berner? I go, look. I'm, Lenore and I are fucking tight. I'm like, let me, let's just, let me talk to her logically about this.
59:33 Paige DeSorbo? She's actually not even gonna be mad at me.
59:35 Hannah Berner? I'm eighteen, you're seventeen. I'm like, let me just talk to her and figure this out. So I go, Lenore, can I speak to you for a second?
59:42 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, you literally asked her?
59:43 Hannah Berner? I swear to God, I go, can Daniel just smoke some weed? Like, he's not doing heroin. Like, can he just smoke some weed? At the time, she was the principal of middle school in Brooklyn. She then explained to me how him smoking weed on the, um,
59:53 Paige DeSorbo? On the stoop.
59:54 Hannah Berner? On the stoop or wherever, with her knowledge, would get her fired from her job, we would lose the house, and we'd all be living on the streets. To which I went back to my brother and I said, talk didn't go well. We'd be, we'd, we'd be on the streets if you smoked weed right now. So.
1:00:09 Paige DeSorbo? Your mom was like, don't tell me, like a normal kid, go get high in the backyard. Like, why am I having this conversation?
1:00:17 Hannah Berner? She was like, you now ratting him out has now put me in trouble as a witness. Um, you dumb bitch, is what Lenore said to me. But by the way, Lenore texted me, she wants the Google to know, apparently Teflon is causing issues, non-stick pans. Um, so she told everyone to get carbon steel, cause the non-stick Teflon apparently is, is, it also causes cancer. But that's what I woke up to last night.
1:00:43 Paige DeSorbo? My mom is Dr. Fauci. Like, literally, all my Instagram messages from her are different things they've discovered for me to stay away from.
1:00:53 Hannah Berner? That's why I don't understand, most newscasters are men, cause my mom knows what's going on way before.
1:01:00 Paige DeSorbo? My mom was like, yeah, romaine, shouldn't have been eating it.
1:01:05 Hannah Berner? She knows when like, there's a, a vegetable that's killing everyone way before ABC.
1:01:10 Paige DeSorbo? I sent you an Instagram about that.
1:01:12 Hannah Berner? She sends an Instagram. By the way, the AI is getting too realistic. Cause at first I was like, mom, you dumb bitch, it's AI. Now I'm sending her AI.
1:01:20 Paige DeSorbo? The Jake Paul ones, have you seen those?
1:01:22 Hannah Berner? Oh yeah, apparently he was like behind it, cause he invested in the company or something.
1:01:26 Paige DeSorbo? Oh.
1:01:27 Hannah Berner? Which I go, they got us again.
1:01:29 Paige DeSorbo? Swindlers.
1:01:30 Hannah Berner? Yes, again, my thing is, I keep seeing these like mansions in Italy, cause you know I like to manifest.
1:01:34 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:01:35 Hannah Berner? And I'll like send it to my mom or you, and it's like the craziest mansion. And I was like, it's AI, you stupid bitch. So now my mom is telling me.
1:01:43 Paige DeSorbo? I haven't noticed that you've been doing that.
1:01:45 Hannah Berner? I think maybe I sent you.
1:01:46 Paige DeSorbo? I think you send me a lot of cat AI, but it's like a very obviously cat AI. It's coming out of an ice cream scoop.
1:01:53 Hannah Berner? There's this cat AI of cats getting arrested. That is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Cause the cops will go to a car and it's just a cat sitting in the driver's seat. And at first I was like, I didn't think it was AI. Cause I'm like, that's something a cat would do.
1:02:05 Paige DeSorbo? The EDRM is working too well.
1:02:08 Hannah Berner? We're just like ERPM.
1:02:10 Paige DeSorbo? The AARP.
1:02:13 Paige DeSorbo? I need a hit of it right now.
1:02:15 Hannah Berner? There are, I think it's a real thing where like a guy got arrested and a cat just came over and sat on him and fell asleep. While he was lying down arrested. So like cats getting arrested is like, I don't know. That's kind of my current passion right now.
1:02:32 Hannah Berner? I have two Gen Z questions.
1:02:33 Paige DeSorbo? Saying things are your current passion right now is so funny. Sorry. It's just like my current passion.
1:02:38 Hannah Berner? Passion project. Um, Grace and Chris, are Gen Z's playing Flip Cup?
1:02:46 Speaker 03 Oh wait. I probably haven't played Flip Cup in like three or four years.
1:02:51 Hannah Berner? Okay, that was so sad.
1:02:52 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, wait. Wait, break it down. Wait, break it down further. Are you guys?
1:02:57 Hannah Berner? Let's break this down.
1:02:59 Paige DeSorbo? Let me get in this. Are you guys having pre-games? Like are pre-games still a thing? Like come to this apartment, drink, then we'll go out.
1:03:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:07 Hannah Berner? And no one's broken out of Flip Cup battle during that time?
1:03:09 Paige DeSorbo? So no one's competitive. You'll never get ahead in this world.
1:03:14 Hannah Berner? So that's why the Gen Z's are not chasing their dreams anymore. And the Gen Z's are not trying hard at things. Cause you haven't played in a Flip Cup.
1:03:21 Paige DeSorbo? And any beer pong? No games at all?
1:03:23 Speaker 03 I did play beer pong recently. It was so nice.
1:03:26 Hannah Berner? Yeah, wait.
1:03:27 Paige DeSorbo? And you hadn't played in like how long?
1:03:28 Speaker 03 Probably like four or five years.
1:03:30 Hannah Berner? Okay, when I was 26, there were bars just for, for beer pong. Like we'd go to the bar, put our name on a list and like, we weren't there to drink. We were there to compete. We were there to like live our dreams.
1:03:43 Paige DeSorbo? Jen, also I think drinking games.
1:03:47 Paige DeSorbo? Promote binge drinking where like Gen Z isn't really binge drinking like that like flip cup is like you're slamming the cup as fast as you can.
1:03:57 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
1:03:57 Paige DeSorbo? Beer pong like you're slamming.
1:03:59 Hannah Berner? Oh, well, there was that time. This is when the world started to turn for the worst. When people started.
1:04:04 Paige DeSorbo? Fifteen.
1:04:05 Hannah Berner? When people started filling their beer pong cups with water and and just drinking the beer. No. That's why COVID happened because we didn't have.
1:04:16 Paige DeSorbo? The antibodies.
1:04:17 Hannah Berner? The antibodies of when a ball rolls and gets kicked across the entire bar. And then you take it and you throw it in a beer and that person chugs it. That's why we were able to face like germs.
1:04:28 Paige DeSorbo? I think that was our generation started that where they were like, actually, just drink out of one cup.
1:04:33 Hannah Berner? Yeah, and and we're. What's the fun in that?
1:04:37 Paige DeSorbo? We started the demise of America.
1:04:40 Hannah Berner? Also, the way we were able to handle pressure because of flip cup. Have you ever been the last person on a flip cup line after your team put their heart and soul into it? And then you um you feel the adrenaline and that team's catching up and you're the one that's that's messing it up. And then you start every, actually, I talked about that in therapy in my E D M R. That was one of my traumatic moments when I lost it for my team.
1:05:03 Paige DeSorbo? It's how I realized I like organized sports. You know, it's like this team thing. You guys are on to something. The camaraderie you feel.
1:05:11 Hannah Berner? Are your long fingers good or a deterrent when it comes to flip cup?
1:05:15 Paige DeSorbo? Oh. There's no, there's nowhere to go but winning.
1:05:20 Hannah Berner? Yeah, well, you know, there's, yeah, you're so good at those games. I I have to say when a guy is good at flip cup.
1:05:26 Paige DeSorbo? Mm hmm.
1:05:27 Hannah Berner? I'm like, it's the hottest thing ever. When a guy is bad at flip cup, I'm like, you would you would finger my thigh.
1:05:32 Paige DeSorbo? Like I, like in high school, there were so many things in high school and college like like you could get icked out by where like in your thirties, you're like, honestly, a dream like, but like in your twenties, if someone was playing beer pong and they weren't good at it, I'd be like.
1:05:50 Hannah Berner? That's so embar-
1:05:51 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like, you probably like-
1:05:51 Hannah Berner? You can't be the father of my children.
1:05:54 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like, what, you're the loser of your friend group? And then in your thirties, like, do you ever realize you're dating the loser of a friend group? But you're so past like, school days that you're like, it doesn't really matter, but in your head, it fully matters. Like, it's like, you could be dating a brother and you, like, you meet the other brother and you're like, fuck, I'm dating like, the less hot, younger brother.
1:06:17 Hannah Berner? Yeah, yeah.
1:06:18 Paige DeSorbo? Sometimes in your thirties, you're like, wait, in college? I would have never even hung out with you.
1:06:23 Hannah Berner? Hmm.
1:06:24 Paige DeSorbo? And, and that's when you have to take inventory of where your life is at.
1:06:27 Hannah Berner? Yeah, a hundred percent.
1:06:28 Paige DeSorbo? You know?
1:06:29 Hannah Berner? But sometimes you're like, it was like when my mom, when she went to Cornell, she, she reminds me every day, um, that they would lose all the football games, but they had a cheer that was like, that's alright, that's okay, we're gonna be your boss someday. So that's, oop.
1:06:44 Paige DeSorbo? And that's changing perspective.
1:06:46 Hannah Berner? And that ate.
1:06:47 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:06:47 Hannah Berner? Like, they ate with that.
1:06:48 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:06:48 Hannah Berner? So it's like, yeah, maybe your guy wasn't the best at beer pong, cause he was studying. Cause he was putting in work.
1:06:54 Paige DeSorbo? That's true.
1:06:56 Hannah Berner? And I know you don't care for studying.
1:07:00 Paige DeSorbo? Probably hideous.
1:07:03 Hannah Berner? Also, Gen Z's, do you find you don't say LOL at the end of your text messages, cause-
1:07:08 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I saw this recently, that Gen Z's like, millennials stop using LOL.
1:07:12 Hannah Berner? I put LOL. I'll literally be like, my grandma, um,
1:07:17 Paige DeSorbo? Can I write them in?
1:07:18 Hannah Berner? Fell and hurt her hip, LOL.
1:07:20 Paige DeSorbo? I write it in formal, business emails. I'll be like, yeah, I'll get to it, LOL.
1:07:26 Hannah Berner? I, if I don't put LOL, it means I'm mad at you.
1:07:28 Paige DeSorbo? How will they know my tone?
1:07:30 Hannah Berner? Yeah, you guys just- I do, I put it into a guy's comment as a LOL. Yeah, well, Grace is kind of like, millennial coded. Chris, well, Chris is a man, he doesn't, Chris doesn't have to put LOL.
1:07:41 Paige DeSorbo? Whoever like, started that, you're stupid.
1:07:43 Hannah Berner? Can I, Grace, can I tell the butter story? Yeah. I have to, I have to tell you about Grace and Butter's weekend. So when I was gone, we had to move stuff from my apartment.
1:07:56 Paige DeSorbo? It's funny that you don't ever ask me to watch butter.
1:07:58 Hannah Berner? Well, today was a big day. Yeah. You- No.
1:08:06 Paige DeSorbo? Butter never acknowledges me. I've known her for almost 10 years. We've said hi twice.
1:08:11 Hannah Berner? No, she'll hide from you.
1:08:12 Paige DeSorbo? This morning Butter like looked me in the eye, acknowledged that I was alive, and even put her face like next to my finger, like acknowledging it. And all Hannah could say is like, she's really out of sorts today. She's not acting like herself. Like something's definitely wrong.
1:08:32 Hannah Berner? So Butter, I think it's because I was gone for four days. She called, she gets love starved.
1:08:37 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:08:37 Hannah Berner? Where she's like, I'll take love from anyone at this point.
1:08:41 Hannah Berner? She also just wanted to be with me. And even though you were there, she was like, I'll sacrifice this uncomfortable moment. So Butter doesn't like men. So we were having guys move everything out of our apartment into a different apartment. And Grace was kind of handling the job because I was in San Diego getting my ass beat in Pilates. And I told Grace, I said, the only thing I want you to do is just keep track of Butter because she's shifty. She's going to be really scared.
1:09:08 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:09:08 Hannah Berner? Just make sure she's okay.
1:09:09 Paige DeSorbo? She's a street cat, you know?
1:09:11 Hannah Berner? Street cat. Yeah, she's gonna.
1:09:13 Paige DeSorbo? Finagle.
1:09:13 Hannah Berner? Finagle.
1:09:17 Hannah Berner? She's throwing dice.
1:09:21 Paige DeSorbo? Why do I picture her running an underground poker game?
1:09:26 Hannah Berner? So I'm like getting on a plane and I get a call from Grace and Grace always has like a very calm voice. But she's like, hey, um, so the move went great. Can't find Butter. And I'm like.
1:09:39 Paige DeSorbo? The good news is your TV made it.
1:09:42 Hannah Berner? Your toiletries.
1:09:43 Paige DeSorbo? I made sure that everything's there. Small problem.
1:09:47 Hannah Berner? Small problem, can't find your cat. And I go, that's okay. I knew this was gonna happen. This is what cats do. They find a way to hide. And she goes, Hannah, like, everything's moved out of the apartment. There's nowhere for her to hide. Like I opened the fridge. Like I've looked everywhere. She's not there. And I'm like, just give it a beat. She'll come out. An hour later she calls. She goes, hey, still not, still not there. So then I actually am like, okay, is she, did she hide in in a box? And, and like some stuff was going in storage. So I'm like, is Butter in the storage unit? And then I'm like, did these guys chuck the luggage? And Butter's like in a luggage in.
1:10:23 Paige DeSorbo? She's in a moving truck.
1:10:24 Hannah Berner? Butter's in Europe right now. Like who knows where she is?
1:10:28 Paige DeSorbo? Butter's on her way to Rikers Island.
1:10:32 Paige DeSorbo? She has no idea the terrain.
1:10:40 Hannah Berner? So I'm like, and and Grace is feeling so guilty because I gave her one note.
1:10:46 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:10:46 Hannah Berner? I said, the one note is butter will deceive.
1:10:49 Paige DeSorbo? I don't give a fuck about any of my stuff.
1:10:51 Hannah Berner? Break everything, butter will deceive, she will fraud, she will do anything. You have to keep an eye on her.
1:10:59 Paige DeSorbo? No, butter is like a really rich, like child drug addict. It's like, no, she will go in your Louis Vuitton and take out your change.
1:11:08 Hannah Berner? She will look you in the eye and lie to your face, do not trust her.
1:11:13 Hannah Berner? And Grace is innocent. Grace just thinks but butter was hiding under the couch and she just assumed that butter would stay there.
1:11:18 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:11:19 Hannah Berner? That, no, no, butter's not staying under the couch. This isn't butter's playing chess, she's playing checkers. So butter, who knows where butter was. But it's one of those things with cats where like, they always just kind of appear out of nowhere. But this is the thing, she like Grace looked in every crevice.
1:11:38 Paige DeSorbo? I feel like all cats have one hiding spot that they're like, and you'll never find me.
1:11:44 Hannah Berner? Like, nobody's gonna get me.
1:11:45 Paige DeSorbo? When I can't find Daphne, I'm like, I know she's in the house just because no one's been home, no one's let her out. And so I'll scream her name and she always appears in the same spot in the hallway, just looking at me.
1:11:58 Hannah Berner? But you don't know where she came from.
1:11:59 Paige DeSorbo? But where did you come from? Because I've looked everywhere.
1:12:03 Hannah Berner? A cat hiding to the extent butter did when there's no furniture in the apartment is another level of like, was she underground? Like.
1:12:11 Paige DeSorbo? It makes you think that butter also hosts like a true crime podcast that we have no idea about.
1:12:18 Hannah Berner? The Secret Life of Pets was written by butter. So I'm actually at the point where I'm like a little nervous because these men, they don't care about my cat.
1:12:27 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:12:27 Hannah Berner? And butter probably hid in something, I don't know. So I'm on the plane also like sleep deprived and I'm like, this is the end, like we lost butter. And like, and and how is, how is my relationship with Grace ever gonna be able to?
1:12:42 Hannah Berner? Bounce back.
1:12:42 Paige DeSorbo? Cause like you'll know, she'll know.
1:12:44 Hannah Berner? Yeah, and, and I'm, obviously like Grace and I are like really close. But like she might start hanging out with you more. And I just didn't know how that would change that. The pod would have to end.
1:12:52 Paige DeSorbo? Well, because we had cats. You know, it's like you wouldn't get it because you don't have a cat.
1:12:57 Hannah Berner? No, the Giggly Squad, I was literally like, how do we announce to the Gigglers that Giggly Squad's over? Cause like the feng shui is messed up. And I would just talk about Butter being sent to Breakers Island every single day. So I actually for, like, I was looking at my mom, my mom's like giving the like, it's gonna be fine, but I can tell even my mom's nervous.
1:13:14 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, you're like, this is not good, mom.
1:13:15 Hannah Berner? This is not like, I get a photo, I get a photo from Grace, the apartment's vacant. And Butter's just standing in the middle of the apartment.
1:13:28 Paige DeSorbo? Like.
1:13:28 Hannah Berner? No, Grace calls me and she goes.
1:13:30 Paige DeSorbo? You'll have to see another day, Grace.
1:13:33 Paige DeSorbo? Actually, you will have to see. Yeah, but it's like your health insurance will be received this month. You are not fired.
1:13:42 Hannah Berner? And we're gonna put the photo in the newsletter because it's the funniest photo I've ever seen. Grace told me that she was so upset. She was like, she thought she, she was dry heaving. Like she thought she lost my cat.
1:13:53 Paige DeSorbo? Well, because there's no fear. I mean, obviously people have children. But there's no fear like losing your animal.
1:14:03 Paige DeSorbo? Fuck that kid, I don't even know that kid yet. My cat has lived with me numerous times.
1:14:09 Hannah Berner? There's so, I have to find one of these memes where it's like everyone freaking out that they lost the cat. And then the cat just walks out of nowhere like so calm. So anyway, we had a scare.
1:14:19 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:14:19 Hannah Berner? We had a scare, but Butter's okay. Butter, we still don't know where she hid, but that's none of our business.
1:14:25 Paige DeSorbo? How do you think she's gonna do like in general with the move? Like, do you think she's excited for a new spot? Do you think she's?
1:14:31 Hannah Berner? She's not excited.
1:14:32 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
1:14:34 Hannah Berner? Also Butter, by the way, like we'll go to West Hampton and she's like, I want my like one bedroom in New York City. Like that's my vibe. She's like, I don't like, what is this? A lawn?
1:14:44 Paige DeSorbo? It's so funny because if I take Daphne somewhere for like even like a night or two nights and then I we come back to my apartment, she inspects it as if like, she's never been there before. She's like, let me see. Yes, that is where I left things. Okay. Actually, this is our home. Yeah.
1:15:00 Hannah Berner? Some cats are really good with like change and stuff and Butter just isn't one of them.
1:15:04 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:15:04 Hannah Berner? But again, like my therapist said.
1:15:06 Paige DeSorbo? She should do, I was just.
1:15:06 Hannah Berner? Butter has boundaries.
1:15:08 Paige DeSorbo? Butter needs some EDMR because there's obviously some traumatic points where she's like, she goes back to, she's like, I can't go out from under the bed.
1:15:16 Hannah Berner? But Butter and I have been through a lot. We've Butter's been through like one, two, three, four, five. How many men? Like so many. Actually Butter iconic. She hates all the men I would bring home back in my day. And once I was like lying in bed with this random man. And she just ran across the bed, like across our chest, scared the shit out of him because I wasn't, I didn't explain I have a cat. We weren't that deep at that point.
1:15:40 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:15:40 Hannah Berner? And I wasn't going to explain a cat that he was never going to see.
1:15:43 Paige DeSorbo? Right.
1:15:43 Hannah Berner? He thought like a large rat ran across our bed.
1:15:49 Paige DeSorbo? Because in New York City, who knows?
1:15:51 Hannah Berner? Who knew? Who knew? Um, so anyway, I think she'll be okay though, because I'm bringing her rug, which she loves.
1:15:57 Paige DeSorbo? Perfect.
1:15:57 Hannah Berner? She also, this is so Butter coated. There's a bag that she is her best friend.
1:16:04 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:16:05 Hannah Berner? It's this like black bag that she rolls around on and people like will try to throw it away. Like my mom will come in and be like, let's throw away this trash. And I said, that's Butter's best friend.
1:16:13 Paige DeSorbo? Sorry, that's Butter's bag.
1:16:14 Hannah Berner? So she Butter's Butter and her, as long as she has her bag, it's like her emotional support bag. She lies on it. She tries to strangle herself with it.
1:16:22 Paige DeSorbo? Butter's, I have purse.
1:16:24 Hannah Berner? Butter has have purse. So as long as she has her bag, she'll be okay.
1:16:27 Paige DeSorbo? That's so page coded of Butter.
1:16:29 Hannah Berner? Actually, that's very you.
1:16:30 Paige DeSorbo? She's like, sorry, where's my bag?
1:16:31 Hannah Berner? As long as you have a little bag that you can't even fit anything in, you're happy. You're happy?
1:16:36 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:16:37 Hannah Berner? Oh, goodness gracious. Anyway, you guys, I am gonna be in Madison, Wisconsin, Go Badgers. I'm going back.
1:16:45 Paige DeSorbo? Wow.
1:16:45 Hannah Berner? Yeah, and Green Bay, and Portland, Maine, and...
1:16:50 Paige DeSorbo? All next week?
1:16:51 Hannah Berner? Mm, in two weeks.
1:16:52 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
1:16:52 Hannah Berner? Yeah, yeah.
1:16:54 Paige DeSorbo? I'm taking it easy this week.
1:16:56 Hannah Berner? That's what you always say.
1:16:57 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do Zooms from home.
1:17:02 Hannah Berner? You're not doing your 10K steps?
1:17:04 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, yeah. Don't bring it up.
1:17:07 Hannah Berner? It's raining, though. You can't do it in the rain. You have a walking pad for that. Um, guys, thank you for giggling with us. We love you so much, and we'll talk to you later. And thank you to Duncan for sponsoring this episode. We love you and your refreshers.
1:17:25 Speaker 04 Hi, I'm Gabby Wendy with Longwinded, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm desperate. I'm desperate for your attention in any way possible, so listen to my podcast, won't ya? It has great insights, exceptional humor, and plenty of pop culture to fill your dark souls. And some even say it's a great way to fall asleep due to my soothing voice. And I don't take that personally. Fall asleep. A listen is a listen, even when you're sleeping, and a view is a view, even with your eyes closed. If you dare, and it doesn't take much gumption, enjoy. Listen to Longwinded wherever you get your podcasts.
1:18:09 Speaker 05 Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting about coordinating another meeting to prepare for the pre-meeting ahead of the follow-up meeting, which will, of course, require a recap meeting. And then, another meeting. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode.
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