Giggling about diners, demotions, and shaved heads

Paige is feeling nostalgic and Hannah made a mistake on stage. subscribe to our substack order our book watch our youtube series

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:03Speaker 01

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• 1:28Speaker 02

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• 1:35Speaker 02

  Sup, Gigglers?

• 1:37Speaker 03

  Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Manifest that shit.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  We can't be managed.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:49Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my Guggenheim Gigglers. Yeah, we're cultured. You knew I was gonna say that.

• 1:55Hannah Berner?

  Um, it's DJ Dash Hound and DJ Doxson here to party.

• 1:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Whenever I come to do the pod, because you live on the Lower East Side, I am put together like a Lower East Side like outfit.

• 2:06Hannah Berner?

  I love, you love dressing for the part. You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.

• 2:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I wake up thinking I'm a Barbie. I'm like, what is my profession today? What am I, what is my vibe? What is my outfit?

• 2:19Hannah Berner?

  You're a Lower East Side cool girl. Um, I love how you brought sunglasses.

• 2:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I walked in and Chris was like, what's the pant situation? Never seen that before. Is that a scarf? Is that a one piece? He was very intrigued.

• 2:28Speaker 06

  I was very curious.

• 2:29Hannah Berner?

  I feel like Chris has learned so, like Chris has been to Giggly Squad University and like you're, you've almost graduated, not yet.

• 2:37Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, I don't think you ever graduated.

• 2:40Hannah Berner?

  It's a multi-level marketing scheme.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I've recently met people that know Chris, like on their own accord.

• 2:45Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I didn't know he had other friends.

• 2:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And speak so highly of him. I know. I didn't know he did things outside of this room. I thought he lived here the whole time.

• 2:52Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I thought he just waited for us with his legs swinging, like excited for us to come in.

• 2:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Said they're gonna come back next Monday.

• 3:00Hannah Berner?

  Um, side note, I was trying on sunglasses today because you just brought sunglasses and I put them on. They were like kind of big and Grace looks at me and goes, it's giving Kate plus eight.

• 3:11Hannah Berner?

  When I tell you.

• 3:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Mike, wait, my eye has been glitching all.

• 3:16Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Do you want to know why? Because you've been socializing all weekend while I was alone in a hotel room.

• 3:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Sending me copy.

• 3:25Hannah Berner?

  Copious voice messages. And guess what? I was sending them because I wanted the tea. You're out in New York City, running around. I'm alone in a hotel room in Buffalo, which shout out to Buffalo, but I'm clearly bored.

• 3:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I heard you kept calling Boston.

• 3:40Hannah Berner?

  Who told you that? Who told you that? No, you guys, my worst nightmare happened this week. I was going through a lot this weekend alone and I'm sending.

• 3:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I got so many DMs. Hannah just called all of us Boston, but we're actually in Buffalo. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Miss you.

• 3:55Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I wasn't going to start with this, but here we are. I was peeing as one does.

• 4:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You look so pretty today.

• 4:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I love when you give like old money. I love when you wear designer.

• 4:07Hannah Berner?

  You know, we haven't been in the studio. Whenever we're in the studio, we want to make out like we love each other. And then on Zoom, I'm like, what, what do you want? What do you want from me? Um, so I'm peeing before my show. Now, the way my shows work is I have an opener. Caroline Banowitz, who's amazing, and she does this song about dick pics as her like finale song.

• 4:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 4:26Hannah Berner?

  So once the dick pic song goes, I know like, okay, be ready.

• 4:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't gotten a dick pic in

• 4:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, years.

• 4:34Hannah Berner?

  That's why we're at peace.

• 4:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly.

• 4:38Hannah Berner?

  Even when, and then when people show me other their dick pics that are being sent to them, that's like more abrasive.

• 4:43Paige DeSorbo?

  One time I had, this is so bad. One time I had a boyfriend and we literally broke up because he couldn't stop sending dick pics to other people.

• 4:54Hannah Berner?

  I thought you were gonna say you. That got so much sadder.

• 4:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, you really have to stop.

• 4:59Hannah Berner?

  Wait, and he's like, but I'm not like saying anything.

• 5:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I don't know what you're talking about. He was like, he was like a classic, like you didn't see that. And I'm like, I literally experienced it with my own body. And he was like, no, you didn't.

• 5:09Hannah Berner?

  He's like, I've never been on a date with them. I don't tell them I like them. I just.

• 5:12Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you talking about?

• 5:13Hannah Berner?

  Share the auto, share the art of my shaft.

• 5:17Hannah Berner?

  I heard guys use point five now. Anyway, so I'm like peeing and there was um, a photographer there. And we start yapping. Normally I'm like alone in my green room.

• 5:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Hannah Berner?

  Um, cause you're not there. And it's just my opener on stage and I'm like, ready. So I'm yappy, yappy, yakking, yapping, yakking. Suddenly I hear the crowd start clapping and I go, oh my God, I'm on. But I haven't been like, like, like, I don't know, like, ready mentally. So I'm like frantic and I like, in these theaters, I had to like run down a hallway.

• 5:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. No one came and got you?

• 5:49Hannah Berner?

  No, not all the theaters are that organized.

• 5:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 5:53Hannah Berner?

  It's really a lot.

• 5:54Paige DeSorbo?

  There's one thing happening there. It's you going on stage. What do you mean?

• 5:59Hannah Berner?

  Cause I think we weren't like that far. We weren't.

• 6:01Paige DeSorbo?

  They're only there for you.

• 6:03Hannah Berner?

  But I also think they're like, Hannah, you have one reason to be here. So you should be ready to go on.

• 6:07Paige DeSorbo?

  See my eye?

• 6:09Hannah Berner?

  No, the other one went.

• 6:10Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't know. I don't know what's going on.

• 6:12Hannah Berner?

  Don't look directly at me. So I like sprint down the hallway, wasn't that long of a hallway. And I get on like perfect timing and I look at her and I could tell Caroline can't tell, because to leave your opener without you coming on is like not okay, that's super embarrassing, where they're like, okay, where is she? Um, once I got stuck in an elevator, but otherwise I'm really fucking good at being prepared for it, because that's the only reason I was there. So I get on stage and I was not giving myself excuses, but I was a little bit thrown, I was a little frantic, I was feeling anxious. And I grabbed the mic and you hear the energy and and I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize, okay, there's two ways to go about this, I could just hope that they didn't hear that.

• 6:55Hannah Berner?

  I could just continue on like nothing happened and gaslight them to think they heard it in their head. But, yeah, we're in Boston. Or I say what we're all thinking, which is, I just called all you guys Boston. So obviously I went with the latter and I was like, I am so sorry. And but also Buffalo, by the way, is the most

• 7:15Hannah Berner?

  like they are a tiny town that has their own football team, like they are the most proud town in all of probably the country. So the fact I said hello, Boston, I could have gotten stoned.

• 7:27Paige DeSorbo?

  They live through full on tundras. And they don't complain at all.

• 7:32Hannah Berner?

  Nope, they're just sweet.

• 7:36Paige DeSorbo?

  And they don't care. And they're and they're happy about it. And they're like, we see the sun for forty eight hours, once a year. And we're good.

• 7:45Hannah Berner?

  I thought upstate was Westchester growing up, turns out it's not, it's Buffalo.

• 7:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's really not.

• 7:50Hannah Berner?

  And so in that moment, I like you, for the next like five minutes, I'm doing like the beginning of my show and I'm just repeating it in my head, like, was it as bad as like, yeah, that was really bad?

• 8:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't believe people were coming to tell me, they're like, oh my god, you gotta hear this. Hannah's so stupid.

• 8:08Hannah Berner?

  You're from Road Fashion Week and people are like, your friend is so fucking dumb. But the best was when I got offstage. The messages were so funny, they go, Boston loves you, thank you so much for coming to Boston.

• 8:20Paige DeSorbo?

  We do love Boston.

• 8:21Hannah Berner?

  Best show ever.

• 8:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't done a show in Buffalo.

• 8:26Hannah Berner?

  You have to, it was incredible. It was like seventeen hundred girls all messaging me, making fun of me.

• 8:32Paige DeSorbo?

  How'd you get there?

• 8:33Hannah Berner?

  I had to actually fly to Rochester and then we drove. Cause I had a show in Rochester the night before. Anyway, meanwhile, I'm in, I'm struggling. And I'm sending you some stuff and I, if I see photos of you, I need a story.

• 8:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:46Hannah Berner?

  And you know how we got there, who you saw, whatever. And she's not giving me anything. So I started making up voice notes. I was like, hey, I gotta tell you about something.

• 8:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah sent me some of the most incredible voice notes this weekend. And here's the thing.

• 8:59Hannah Berner?

  Couldn't tell you what they're about.

• 9:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I couldn't either now. But at the time I was like, oh my God, like I saw them come in and I did, wait, this is the funniest thing. I'm at a shoot all day Friday. I'm with Trezemay. We're doing stuff all day. I get two voice notes from you, back to back, two double two minuters. I'm like, oh my God, let's freaking go. Now they put the update of the phone. You know how you can click see more and it's like written out?

• 9:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 9:26Paige DeSorbo?

  So I'm like around people. So I'm not like just gonna play your voice.

• 9:30Hannah Berner?

  Hey, do you wanna hear what Hannah's saying?

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  That would be a death sentence. Who knows what could be said? So I'm like, I click it and I'm reading it and someone comes from over my shoulder and they're like, oh my God, what is that? And like, first of all, HIPAA.

• 9:49Hannah Berner?

  No, that is such a HIPAA.

• 9:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, second of all, let a girl get a voice note from her friend and know that it's not appropriate to listen to you right now in this moment, but I couldn't. I had to know what the gist was.

• 10:01Hannah Berner?

  This is the problem with being friends with a public figure is that she's either locked away in the safest, most private place where she can be like blasting your voice notes, or she's surrounded by a full team of twelve people and everyone who's ever worked in Hollywood. So you just have to pray. Um, I don't remember what I said, but it was literally to be like, you respond to be like, these are the best voice messages I've ever heard. And I go, okay, I was, I wanted you to respond.

• 10:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, but I didn't have the time. And honestly, I didn't even have, I didn't have any good gossip to give you. But what people don't talk enough about with voice notes, like when you're.

• 10:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I know when you're about to start laughing about something.

• 10:46Paige DeSorbo?

  So listening to a voice note, like, just know when you're recording it, I'm laughing at the same time. Okay, and I think that's important for you to know.

• 10:54Hannah Berner?

  That like warmed my heart.

• 10:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:55Hannah Berner?

  Also, I have a paranoia that I'm gonna be like really good, like, two minutes into a voice note and then fuck up like two and a half minutes in and like, I'm a performer, like, I don't like, you're fine with the coughing, I don't like too much, but you're a cougher. You're an avid cougher.

• 11:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you should hear like when I send ads to Grace.

• 11:13Hannah Berner?

  Also, you're like-

• 11:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I need a minute, actually.

• 11:14Hannah Berner?

  When you record the ads, not to, you know, shit, well, how the sausage is made, you press record and then you record like all the ads. I have to record it one by one because I'm convinced I'm gonna like knock over my recording.

• 11:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm on there for like twenty-five minutes.

• 11:29Hannah Berner?

  My voice note-

• 11:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like Grace has heard me on the phone with my mom, but I stop and do like my own thing.

• 11:34Hannah Berner?

  You're just therapy, you go, wait, my therapist is on the line.

• 11:38Paige DeSorbo?

  There has been times where I'll go on Instagram for like five minutes, I'll be like, oh shit, I'm doing ads. Grace, sorry.

• 11:46Hannah Berner?

  God forbid you like, just send her two files or more than one file.

• 11:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want her to have to open that much.

• 11:52Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 11:53Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I want her to get one email, click it.

• 11:55Hannah Berner?

  I'd rather send like ten one-minute voice notes than one ten-minute one because

• 11:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 12:00Hannah Berner?

  I think it's easier to consume, but that's just my process.

• 12:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a girlfriend who, we don't speak often, like, we speak quarterly, honestly. We catch up and then we move about our lives.

• 12:13Hannah Berner?

  Q three is when we follow up.

• 12:15Paige DeSorbo?

  A couple of days ago, this bitch sent me a fifteen-minute voice note. I mean, the updates were completely necessary. I literally got an update on her entire summer.

• 12:26Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's, um, a standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival.

• 12:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I set it down and I was like, you're getting like unfolding, I'm like, oh.

• 12:36Hannah Berner?

  But doesn't the phone sometimes stop playing it because the phone goes to sleep?

• 12:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I have to like, no, it's all-

• 12:42Hannah Berner?

  Was it better than mine?

• 12:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was more informational, I'll say.

• 12:47Hannah Berner?

  Which, honestly, valid.

• 12:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Definitely more factual. It wasn't as opinion-based.

• 12:52Hannah Berner?

  Definitely cohesive. Definitely full sentences reformed.

• 12:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, we have so much to talk about. Shall I begin with, oh, no, you, it's coming to you. I shall begin. Yes. I shall. The flow is yours. It's yours.

• 13:13Paige DeSorbo?

  So stupid stuff. Wait, not right now. We're not talking about this right now. But I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary because I knew you were going to talk about it. So in a later, at a later time, we'll dive into it. But I just want you to know, going into it, I've seen it clock it. Okay, I'm, that's making me very excited.

• 13:35Paige DeSorbo?

  This is, this is a voice note from Paige, by the way. She coughs, she tells you what she's gonna talk about, then forgets what she was gonna talk about. Couple of weeks ago, I get a mess, a DM from Morgan Stewart.

• 13:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Who is Lord our Savior. You know, the best thing about my assistant is she's so Gen Z that like I bring up Morgan Stewart at least once a week. Like I'm referencing her and every single time I say it, she goes, who? And I go, honestly, no, keep me young. Thank you. I got a DM from Morgan Stewart and I'm like, my life is made. We start like chit chatting, whatever. And then she goes, I'm having a dinner during fashion week, but not like a fashion week dinner. And I, I totally knew what she meant by that. And I was like, of course. For people that don't know, can you explain? Like she was having a fashion week dinner, but she was having a Morgan Stewart chic dinner. She wasn't having like a. Branded in your face. Yeah, like drapes.

• 14:32Paige DeSorbo?

  She didn't have drapes and candles. She's not having fluorescent lighting. She didn't have any fluorescent lighting. Yeah. She obviously had a photographer. Yes. But like, it was very, grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip and then move along.

• 14:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So I had never met her before in person.

• 14:54Hannah Berner?

  I didn't know that.

• 14:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so I didn't like know what to expect. First of all, walk up to the restaurant. So chic, not a sign in sight, could have literally been walking into a dentist office. They're like, private room is upstairs.

• 15:05Hannah Berner?

  So New York.

• 15:07Paige DeSorbo?

  This French restaurant, it was called, I think it was called Le Vieux. I was just like, yeah, Blair Waldorf like goes here. So I walk in, she's the first person I see, we hug. We immediately start talking about glam. So I'm like, no, I'm home.

• 15:22Hannah Berner?

  Were you nervous?

• 15:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I was very nervous, but I wasn't nervous enough to take a beta blocker.

• 15:26Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 15:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I was like, no, I manifested this. This is like,

• 15:30Hannah Berner?

  This was gonna happen. We knew it.

• 15:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I knew this. She literally just had her friends at dinner.

• 15:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Me, Tinks, this girl Sarah, Ariel Charnas, we're like the only people that I feel like I knew from Instagram. Everyone else, I was like, oh, that's your best friend.

• 15:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 15:49Paige DeSorbo?

  So it was like a fun, funny dinner.

• 15:51Hannah Berner?

  Sounds like a bachelorette party.

• 15:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I had two cocktails, which I never do.

• 15:55Hannah Berner?

  That means you were in a good mood.

• 15:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I will say I was the first person to leave.

• 16:00Hannah Berner?

  I didn't even have to ask.

• 16:01Paige DeSorbo?

  The clock struck ten fifteen. I was like, I'm literally, I melt at ten thirty, so I have to scramble.

• 16:06Hannah Berner?

  I live on the Upper West Side, which is basically Europe, so I have to go now.

• 16:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the other thing.

• 16:11Hannah Berner?

  You had to beat the traffic.

• 16:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Dinner was on the, dinner was uptown.

• 16:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's how I knew, I was like, I'm in the right place at the right time.

• 16:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Right place at the right time. All the kids are downtown. They're doing their thing, they're walking the runway.

• 16:27Hannah Berner?

  Being punks.

• 16:27Paige DeSorbo?

  They're being literal punks. Okay, and I'm uptown at a mommy and me. And then I'm going home.

• 16:35Hannah Berner?

  I was uptown too, but I was in Boston.

• 16:39Paige DeSorbo?

  But she was the best. It was like just a chic, cute dinner.

• 16:43Hannah Berner?

  I love that.

• 16:44Paige DeSorbo?

  We all got a belt. And I was like, amazing.

• 16:46Hannah Berner?

  People don't talk about belts enough.

• 16:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 16:47Hannah Berner?

  Belts are never in the conversation. Then one day you wake up and you go, oh no, this outfit needs a belt, and you don't have one.

• 16:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. I hoard belts, actually.

• 16:56Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of accessories, I have a hot take. As someone who's, I don't know if it's because I'm anxious or possibly ADHD, or just I get overwhelmed easily. I can't do bracelets. There's too much. What's it called? Sensory overload. When I wear a bracelet, I'm like, I walk into a room and I'm like, I wear your bracelet. I try talking, I'm like, are you looking at my bracelet?

• 17:19Paige DeSorbo?

  The girls that wear the same necklaces every single day and my thought is, are you showering in them?

• 17:25Hannah Berner?

  Yes, you are.

• 17:25Paige DeSorbo?

  And sleeping in them?

• 17:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you are.

• 17:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Because that would, we are not really jewelry gals.

• 17:31Hannah Berner?

  No, like when I got engaged, I was like, cool, I don't wear rings.

• 17:37Hannah Berner?

  You guys, I don't wear my wedding ring.

• 17:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Cool, I don't want it.

• 17:39Hannah Berner?

  I don't want my wedding ring, I don't wear my wedding ring because I started getting rashes. I don't even know why. Um, and people be like, are you not married?

• 17:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Eczema? Or like it was like?

• 17:49Hannah Berner?

  I think it's because when I wash my hands in so many different states, sorry, I'm traveling a lot. When I'm in Boston versus Buffalo.

• 17:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, are you gonna blame like a water issue?

• 17:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, the water's different and it, I think I also don't dry my hands to the point every time and it starts, it starts getting red. Like I get a rash, so I don't wear my wedding ring. No one needs two rings on their finger. That's prison. It's a prison. And then when I wear, if you wear, God forbid I wear a bangle. I'm like, I can't focus on this conversation because my bangle's moving.

• 18:20Paige DeSorbo?

  When I see the girls wearing like the hand chains.

• 18:23Hannah Berner?

  My friend Madison plays tennis in her body chain.

• 18:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I don't know how they're doing it.

• 18:28Hannah Berner?

  Not to call her out, but it's like, it's, it's like girls who wear sweaters that are itchy. Just for fun. Like, I think bracelets, or the girls who have stacked bracelets.

• 18:40Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I can't.

• 18:41Hannah Berner?

  I could do that maybe for a look.

• 18:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't even, we are, we wear studs. Like I love stacking jewelry and wearing a bunch of bracelets and wearing a bunch of rings for a look. But then when I get home.

• 18:53Hannah Berner?

  Get it?

• 18:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Get it off.

• 18:54Hannah Berner?

  Also, when you can't get a bracelet off. Nothing more humbling.

• 18:57Paige DeSorbo?

  One of my friends had a bracelet on, I'm not kidding, for like four months and she was like, well, because I couldn't get it off. If the moment I knew I couldn't get it off, that's the moment I have to take pliers because I'm not gonna live in my own prison that I've created. I'd start having a literal panic and then get it off.

• 19:12Hannah Berner?

  Also, I am wearing a ring right now that's like huge and I love it, but it's the only thing I'm gonna think about this whole pod.

• 19:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I know for a fact that you're cleaning out your apartment right now and these are all items that you've recently found that you forgot. And you put it all together today and you were like, wait, cool outfit, forgot I had it. I know that's what happened because never have I once seen you walk in with earrings and a ring and like also a fit that I haven't seen in a while.

• 19:39Hannah Berner?

  Now that I'm fully exposed. Now I feel fucking naked.

• 19:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Now that I feel naked on this one.

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  Um, I saw Jacqueline, our nail girl, after a full summer not seeing her, I opened the door and she was like, funny seeing you here. I said, Jacqueline, do you know we talk about you on the podcast every single week? And she was like, yeah, it's really funny. And I was like, come in. And then I said, Jacqueline, I need natural.

• 20:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:02Hannah Berner?

  And then.

• 20:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me say.

• 20:04Hannah Berner?

  She went arguably too natural because I said, Jacqueline, you can give me like fake long ones. And she goes, no, you just cut it off. So I lost privileges with her. She goes, so I'm gonna keep it.

• 20:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Jacqueline could demote you.

• 20:16Hannah Berner?

  No, she demoted me. Like she tried with me.

• 20:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:19Hannah Berner?

  And is over my shit. And she said, I'm keeping your nubs nubby and this is what you get.

• 20:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes Jacqueline will give me an option. She'll give me two options, right?

• 20:29Hannah Berner?

  Which I love.

• 20:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like she's secretly testing me because I know that she likes one of the options more. And so sometimes I'll say one and she'll look at me and I'll go, the other one.

• 20:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, Jacqueline, how did you just do that?

• 20:43Hannah Berner?

  Say yes, she'll just nod and look back down. And I'm like, I'm so scared right now. But also I did, I haven't cut, cut them, but maybe I did once and she hasn't forgiven me. But Jacqueline's back in my life.

• 20:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Good.

• 20:55Hannah Berner?

  You guys know we hate admin at Giggly Squad and that's why we love Square. Today's episode is brought to you by Square. It's smart streamlined tools that make running your business simple. I want to announce that I am doing merch on my stand-up tour and I'm using Square for a lot of the transactions. Let's be honest, I never have cash on me. I will always pick the wrong credit card. I never know what to use. So when a coffee shop just has a simple square for me to do a nice tap, the world makes sense again. There's no learning curve, no tech headaches, just intuitive design for business owners and for the people buying stuff, easy to use from day one. From cafes to salons to retail shops to food trucks, Square has a setup that fits your business and plans. Our listeners

• 21:39Hannah Berner?

  get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/giggly. Visit today and discover how Square can transform your business. Some local sellers that use Square in the Lower East Side where I live and love is Little Canal, Van Leeuwen Ice Cream, which is so good in the East Village, and Cafe de Vignan. Oh my God, they have the best bread. Definitely go. Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. Get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long-term commitments. And why wait? Right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/giggly. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E.com/go/giggly. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

• 22:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair.

• 23:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information.

• 23:38Hannah Berner?

  We have to give credit where credit's due.

• 23:41Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's to Quince.

• 23:42Hannah Berner?

  We really love Quince. Everyone in our family loves Quince. And it's priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, which is what I get a high off of. I get a kick off of.

• 23:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And the holiday season is coming. If you don't know what to buy, someone truly just go to Quince. I actually gifted myself recently all new bath towels. Because after a couple of years, you're like, gross, I gotta get new bath towels.

• 24:04Hannah Berner?

  What did you like about them?

• 24:06Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so big. Like they're

• 24:08Hannah Berner?

  Oh, and they're like, good quality.

• 24:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and they're like, yeah, I'll put me and my whole family in this towel.

• 24:15Hannah Berner?

  I need new towels. I'm gonna buy them. They also work directly with ethical factories and cut the middlemen. So that's how they're able to have such affordable and high quality. They have 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

• 24:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a navy blue one. It's always with me because it's small enough that like, you can throw it in your bag, but it is warm enough that you don't need another piece.

• 24:35Hannah Berner?

  They also have really cool rugs.

• 24:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Mmm.

• 24:38Hannah Berner?

  I know, check out their rugs.

• 24:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I should.

• 24:39Hannah Berner?

  And they have really good like leather bags and jewelry. Like literally anything you want is at Quince.

• 24:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know the Giggly Squad sent you and support our show. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medical management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more.

• 25:29Paige DeSorbo?

  You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiiatry.com/giggly. I love a sweet treat. I'm always looking for a sweet treat, and I certainly can't eat something without having a sweet treat.

• 26:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Kachava's new Salted Caramel flavor is one of my favorite flavors that they even make. It's salty, it's sweet, what is better together? Also, I feel like Kitty knows that around 4 o'clock, I need a sweet treat, and I'm always craving something salty and sweet. And if that wasn't good enough, Kachava is all the nutrition your body creates in one delicious, simple shake. Just two scoops provide complete nutrition to your body with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. Kachava provides no fillers, no nonsense, all clean nutrition. No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, preservatives, and they have the best flavors: matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon French toast, and of course, Salted Caramel. Embrace your salty side.

• 26:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A, dot com with code GIGGLY.

• 27:08Hannah Berner?

  I also hung out with Vampire Weekend.

• 27:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Part of them?

• 27:14Hannah Berner?

  They're a band. Chris knows them. Chris knows them.

• 27:17Paige DeSorbo?

  How old are they?

• 27:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Do they have another ballad of some sort? I'm not, I'm not, that one's not clicking.

• 27:32Hannah Berner?

  These guys, like, they're just in a band.

• 27:35Paige DeSorbo?

  What is it Vampire what?

• 27:36Hannah Berner?

  Weekend. They're very, like, they popped off 10 years ago. So I was like, how's tour, guys? And they were like, good.

• 27:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Where'd you meet them?

• 27:45Hannah Berner?

  At the airport. Because there's a girl in their band who's also a comedian, who's like a genius and also does violin, Isabelle.

• 27:54Hannah Berner?

  And she's...

• 27:55Paige DeSorbo?

  This is the most ADHD conversation I've ever been a part of.

• 27:59Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, I thought you were gonna know who Vampire Weekend is, but because you don't...

• 28:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you even know me? Does that sound like something I would know what the fuck that is?

• 28:08Hannah Berner?

  Nelly? And I'm like, no!

• 28:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought you were talking about Vampire Diaries and you were gonna bring up that the star of Vampire Diaries just broke up with her fiance.

• 28:16Hannah Berner?

  Shall we talk about Nina?

• 28:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Shall we?

• 28:18Hannah Berner?

  She's having so much fun on Instagram.

• 28:22Paige DeSorbo?

  The rumor is that he cheated on her. Then she did a TikTok that was like...

• 28:27Hannah Berner?

  Like iconic.

• 28:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Kind of basically like...

• 28:29Hannah Berner?

  Confirm me it, fuck you.

• 28:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I think they were engaged for like five years. I'm gonna be honest, I never saw them together.

• 28:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. This is also...

• 28:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl.

• 28:41Hannah Berner?

  I didn't wanna say it.

• 28:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes I'm a huge fan of that.

• 28:44Hannah Berner?

  I didn't wanna say it, but...

• 28:46Paige DeSorbo?

  But they were taking it to the limit with that one.

• 28:49Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing. There are handsome gingers out there.

• 28:52Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent.

• 28:53Hannah Berner?

  And there are talented gingers out there. And there are kind gingers out there.

• 28:58Hannah Berner?

  This one in particular, I think it's giving she gave him too much confidence.

• 29:05Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what it is.

• 29:06Hannah Berner?

  Snowboarders are, need to calm down. Like, as a former skier... When I was skiing, everyone was so polite. Excuse me, whatever. Then I'd fucking die.

• 29:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I almost got murdered.

• 29:18Hannah Berner?

  No, they come, they're all, they literally are like

• 29:21Paige DeSorbo?

  A group of fourteen year old

• 29:21Hannah Berner?

  Punks.

• 29:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Snowboarders?

• 29:23Hannah Berner?

  No, like, they rob you. And then they steal your glasses and then you're scared and freezing and then they give you the finger as they go down every time. I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like them.

• 29:36Paige DeSorbo?

  They literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give me the finger.

• 29:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Ski down and like, take all the hot chocolate. I don't know.

• 29:47Hannah Berner?

  No, like they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that like throw, um, eggs with an air in them. Like those are snowboarders.

• 29:57Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not a thing.

• 29:58Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, in the city, yeah.

• 29:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, that's intense. Um.

• 30:02Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, so shout out to Nina, we love you. Um.

• 30:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, your list is

• 30:08Hannah Berner?

  My list is crazy. Oh, can we bring back a saying?

• 30:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:15Hannah Berner?

  Can we please start saying that shit's whack?

• 30:20Hannah Berner?

  Like, can we say whack at least?

• 30:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like

• 30:22Hannah Berner?

  Like, that's so whack.

• 30:23Paige DeSorbo?

  So whack.

• 30:24Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, as I said it aloud.

• 30:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like I've said it recently.

• 30:27Hannah Berner?

  Whack. Like, whack was my everything. Everything was like, it's whack.

• 30:31Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z, like, people making videos of, like, four millennials, like, hey, here's things we don't say anymore. Here's things like that, like you said, that means the same thing here. Whack is such a great word to describe anything. See, I think, feel the same way with swag.

• 30:51Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank god for Justin Bieber.

• 30:53Hannah Berner?

  Thank? TGIF.

• 30:55Paige DeSorbo?

  What happened?

• 31:02Paige DeSorbo?

  TGIF, and not to bring up Topanga, she's on Dancing with the Stars this year.

• 31:07Hannah Berner?

  Can I make an announcement?

• 31:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:09Hannah Berner?

  I think I'm gonna watch Dancing with the Stars this year.

• 31:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 31:13Hannah Berner?

  I've never watched it.

• 31:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never watched it either. You're just like feeling, are you feeling like old school reality TV?

• 31:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, is that you're trying to get into like competition?

• 31:23Hannah Berner?

  No, it's more like, first of all, my TikTok is just full of all of them. And then I realized they all do like incredible TikToks. There's a Gen Z that works at Dancing with the Stars, because these, um, no offense, but these guys are dancing, like, training intensely. They're not also coming up with like incredible TikTok strategies.

• 31:40Paige DeSorbo?

  The social media team for that show is.

• 31:41Hannah Berner?

  Killing it. So every day I'm like, I'm.

• 31:45Paige DeSorbo?

  That's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks and Gleb. Like, I didn't watch the show.

• 31:50Hannah Berner?

  I think I might watch it. Um, because there's also like more people that I like kind of know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get like people who were on a TV show like twenty years ago. Or like an athlete that like broke his ACL and is like, doesn't know what to do.

• 32:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I love a like former athlete coming back to do something.

• 32:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and you're like, he has CTE.

• 32:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Find your passion.

• 32:12Hannah Berner?

  But he's figuring it out. So like, I think I might watch it.

• 32:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 32:18Hannah Berner?

  And this is coming from.

• 32:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I might watch, it's so crazy because I might watch The Bachelorette this year.

• 32:23Hannah Berner?

  Oh, well, that is, that is another level of time consuming. Oh, because of Taylor. Frankie?

• 32:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Paul. Wait, okay. TikTok.

• 32:38Hannah Berner?

  Both Mormon, both Mormon.

• 32:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been getting a lot of like nostalgia videos. I want to bring back shopping from a catalog. Like, I, like, obviously it's being taken over by shopping online. But like, do you remember being young and your mom getting like the Victoria's Secret catalog and going through and like circling? Like different things? And then she'd physically call and order what she wanted.

• 33:07Hannah Berner?

  She was like number eight, seven, four, three, two. Like, I would fuck that up.

• 33:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, the women in STEM, just thinking about there was like a group of women ready to receive these phone calls. From a group of women who are at home being like, okay, number eight.

• 33:24Hannah Berner?

  This was an underground economy that people didn't know of. But what's crazy about those magazines is it was used two ways. It was girls like us being like, mom, I really want this like crop top. And then just like men jerking off to it.

• 33:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I didn't even think of that.

• 33:42Hannah Berner?

  They didn't have like-

• 33:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's disgusting.

• 33:44Hannah Berner?

  Cause men didn't have porn back then. They had to like find magazines. And, or they had, yeah, they had to like draw it.

• 33:54Hannah Berner?

  Men would draw boobs and jerk off to it, from memory.

• 34:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Why? I guess that never crossed my mind that like a thirteen year old boy back then like getting pumped for their mom to get like the summer Victoria's Secret catalog.

• 34:13Hannah Berner?

  I was like going to look at it and I'm like, why is it crispy? Why is it pretty just crispy? Daniel!

• 34:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's so vile.

• 34:20Hannah Berner?

  So vile. I also had a friend who got in trouble cause he was printing out like a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman.

• 34:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 34:27Hannah Berner?

  And his mom caught him like mid-print. Like, what are you doing? He got in like big trouble.

• 34:32Paige DeSorbo?

  One time I was at my friend's house in like 7th grade and we were like playing in her basement and we found all of her dad's like dirty magazines.

• 34:39Hannah Berner?

  Aww.

• 34:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was just like, wait, what?

• 34:42Hannah Berner?

  Also, this is-

• 34:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, that made my eye twitch.

• 34:45Hannah Berner?

  This is TMA, TMI, but my brother was like thirteen or fourteen and my, he went to camp and my parents got a call and they were freaking out. They were like, "We have to tell you something. In his cabin, a, uh, one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen." And my parents were like, "What did he see?" Like, they really got scared. And they were like, "It was a photo of girls in bikinis." And my dad was like, "Okay, can you bring it back?"

• 35:14Hannah Berner?

  But I guess like they had to warn them.

• 35:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Send a picture, let me see.

• 35:17Hannah Berner?

  No, let me see what-

• 35:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me see what he saw.

• 35:20Hannah Berner?

  Also, women like he saw it, they're like, "He may or may not have seen. A kid brought that in." Um, but anyway, that was like what men were busy doing instead of learning about consent. Do you think purple lettuce thinks it's better than other lettuces? Lettuce eye.

• 35:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 35:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Because when I'm eating purple lettuce or a colored carrot.

• 35:42Hannah Berner?

  You stop and you go, you're gorgeous.

• 35:45Paige DeSorbo?

  If I have a tri-colored carrot on my plate.

• 35:49Hannah Berner?

  Your tax bracket has changed.

• 35:51Paige DeSorbo?

  My tax bracket has changed. I know more languages than you do. Like, yeah.

• 35:56Hannah Berner?

  I feel like the purple lettuce like knows, like, and it's always like curly in a way where it's just like, like you could put it on a dress and it always comes out of nowhere. Like you're like gnawing on your rabbit food and then you're like, who is she?

• 36:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you just talking about like cabbage?

• 36:12Hannah Berner?

  I don't know enough about the lettuce species to be able to, what is the purple? I don't, look, I'm starting this new thing. I tried to eat salads last week. It didn't work.

• 36:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I texted Grace like recently and she was like, sorry, Hannah's like not responding because she's in a Pilates class. And I was just like, what?

• 36:30Hannah Berner?

  I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour. Before I go on tour.

• 36:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, did you, are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11:00 PM?

• 36:41Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 36:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you haven't stuck to it. Funny, because last year we had to stick to it.

• 36:46Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, last year you tried to put me in a caloric deficit and I was famished. This year you're willy-nilly, just ordering whatever. I don't know what town you're even in. You're so stuffed.

• 37:00Hannah Berner?

  I did get a really good Mexican Bowl on Saturday.

• 37:03Paige DeSorbo?

  The other day Hannah sent me.

• 37:05Hannah Berner?

  I was eating my feelings after I embarrassed myself in front of all the girls of Buffalo.

• 37:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah sent me and Grace like in our group chat, a picture of her like being out to brunch by herself.

• 37:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, it was such a like mom text. Like, you know, like when your mom's somewhere with your dad, like, we just like, we're at brunch and it's just like the table. Yeah, it's like, okay, but is dad there?

• 37:29Hannah Berner?

  You're so right. You're so valid. I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't aesthetic and it wasn't cool.

• 37:39Paige DeSorbo?

  But just from the photo, I could tell that whatever town you were in, you found the most amazing diner. A couple of key things I could tell from said amazing diner.

• 37:53Paige DeSorbo?

  The wooden table.

• 37:54Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 37:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a good wooden table, they mean business. When the condiments are already on the table because they know.

• 38:04Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 38:05Paige DeSorbo?

  So when you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there.

• 38:09Hannah Berner?

  Spicy stuff. Also, when you order, you don't order anything. You just say fuck me up fam. Also, do you know how you know it's gonna be fucking good? When the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin. Like they're not just sitting on a napkin. Not a cloth, but also I don't want just a napkin sitting. I want it like they had, they're going so fast that they're just.

• 38:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you ever seen someone wrap those up and then put the thing on?

• 38:34Hannah Berner?

  No, is it like people doing Domino's boxes?

• 38:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's like they can go so fast.

• 38:38Hannah Berner?

  Also, this place, it was in San Francisco. They also had juices, which like.

• 38:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, I want a plastic water cup.

• 38:45Hannah Berner?

  And I want it to be so abnormally big, like there's no way I could finish it.

• 38:49Paige DeSorbo?

  And discolored.

• 38:49Hannah Berner?

  Discolored, cloudy.

• 38:54Hannah Berner?

  And yeah, I got pancakes for the table and by the table, I meant my table.

• 38:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Paige DeSorbo?

  My god, my eyes like really twitching.

• 39:03Hannah Berner?

  There's like pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up.

• 39:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 39:08Hannah Berner?

  Hilary Duff.

• 39:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Getting back in the studio.

• 39:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you want, I don't wanna, I don't wanna bring up an old rivalry. But I would say. We are watching Lindsay live her best life, look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday. They had, they had like redone Mean Girls. She went to the premiere. She's just like. She's on every cover. She looks phenomenal. People are like.

• 39:35Hannah Berner?

  She has, she has Verizon ads.

• 39:38Paige DeSorbo?

  She lives her life in Dubai. She's a mom. No one was bringing up Hilary Duff. And I think maybe she's gonna have a resurgence because of that.

• 39:46Hannah Berner?

  Not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there was some inspiration.

• 39:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Certainly not pitting women against women. Although I just did, but I do find it ironic that like they did have like a beef back then and now like they're both.

• 40:01Hannah Berner?

  I'm so sad for that.

• 40:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:04Hannah Berner?

  The millennials are excited. Grace, do you like remember Hilary Duff at all?

• 40:09Speaker 06

  Yes, yes.

• 40:11Hannah Berner?

  What do you remember?

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Cadet Kelly.

• 40:15Hannah Berner?

  Cadet Kelly.

• 40:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 40:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Like Lizzie McGuire.

• 40:19Hannah Berner?

  Lizzie McGuire.

• 40:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I loved Cadet Kelly.

• 40:23Hannah Berner?

  Loved, I, but I like loved Kim Possible more.

• 40:26Paige DeSorbo?

  So you.

• 40:27Hannah Berner?

  I also did like all the Disney double T movies. Whenever there was like a sport and the girl came in, I was like.

• 40:33Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I loved like Lindsay Lohan clue, like gotta get a clue, like she was in, she was wearing cool outfits.

• 40:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, anyhow.

• 40:41Hannah Berner?

  Another pop culture topic.

• 40:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 40:43Hannah Berner?

  Nev.

• 40:46Hannah Berner?

  From, um, the catfishing show.

• 40:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it Neve?

• 40:53Hannah Berner?

  Neve.

• 40:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:54Hannah Berner?

  It's Neve. Is it Neve?

• 40:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I think he goes by both.

• 41:01Hannah Berner?

  Cause Neve.

• 41:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I think he's not picky.

• 41:03Hannah Berner?

  Neve is also an Irish name spelled N A I M G P H or something.

• 41:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I, I wanna say it's Neve, but.

• 41:11Hannah Berner?

  Okay, could be.

• 41:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Who am I?

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  Neve, Buffalo, Boston. He, um, is in real estate now. He just announced. Very casually like on a city bike. He's like, if anyone needs help with their homes. I'm selling real estate.

• 41:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, what happened to catfish?

• 41:24Hannah Berner?

  I think it's done.

• 41:26Paige DeSorbo?

  It's done?

• 41:27Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 41:29Hannah Berner?

  But maybe he always had a passion for homes, like maybe the whole time he didn't really care about.

• 41:33Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what we say about real estate? No, I'm going through a good time. Wake Seven does, I'll be a real estate agent today.

• 41:42Paige DeSorbo?

  That's for ex NFL players who are one bad day away. Really losing it. They gotta buy a building or something.

• 41:50Hannah Berner?

  For people who are like. Um, people, people, like, like talking to people and they have like connections through the industry, it could help.

• 41:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm actually not gonna knock it because.

• 42:01Hannah Berner?

  We support men in the arts.

• 42:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I support ha- having like a normal job. He spent so, the so much of his life being a TV host and like being in the public.

• 42:13Hannah Berner?

  Do you know how he got famous?

• 42:14Paige DeSorbo?

  He was catfish.

• 42:16Hannah Berner?

  And did a documentary.

• 42:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so I feel like the last twenty years.

• 42:19Hannah Berner?

  He's been in Hollywood.

• 42:20Paige DeSorbo?

  He probably wants something that's like. A little more structured, maybe like he's not really traveling that much. It's like chill. People know him. People would like walk in and see a familiar face and probably like want him to be his real estate agent just because of that.

• 42:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 42:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, I dig back everything.

• 42:38Hannah Berner?

  We're if anyone needs an apartment.

• 42:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what? I'm moving.

• 42:42Hannah Berner?

  You'd be such you. There's another life where you live like in Kansas and you are the it girl of real estate, like every single bench in that town is you but and you're wearing a power suit.

• 42:55Paige DeSorbo?

  The best.

• 42:56Hannah Berner?

  Like no one's ever your glam is incredible. No one's ever seen you without full glam.

• 42:59Paige DeSorbo?

  They call me penthouse page.

• 43:03Hannah Berner?

  And there's no penthouses in Kansas.

• 43:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Really sexual, actually. That's that actually sounds like my only fans page. I take that back. Parkway page. Nope, not still that good.

• 43:12Hannah Berner?

  And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients, but.

• 43:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I've thought about real estate and you know what knocks me down every time? I'm not doing math in my adult age. I put on, I'm past that.

• 43:24Hannah Berner?

  Do you have to do math?

• 43:26Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to know square footage and like you have to know like there is numbers and I'm like, actually, no.

• 43:33Hannah Berner?

  Did you watch Selling Sunset?

• 43:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, not really. I like don't like if I'm watching a real estate show, it's because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. Like I do find that interesting. I don't care about like the real estate agent drama.

• 43:50Hannah Berner?

  It was a lot of like them getting out of the Yukon SUV slowly so they could see.

• 43:56Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a lot of arrivals and departures.

• 44:00Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing Netflix reality shows love more than arrivals.

• 44:05Hannah Berner?

  And a non copyrighted music background.

• 44:07Paige DeSorbo?

  A strut.

• 44:08Hannah Berner?

  She's sexy. She is a sexy one. Yeah, she's sexy sexy.

• 44:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Netflix will it's hard for a slow strut.

• 44:16Hannah Berner?

  Or it's not slow, but they go slow mo. Yeah.

• 44:20Paige DeSorbo?

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• 45:50Paige DeSorbo?

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• 47:57Paige DeSorbo?

  How's your fantasy football team doing?

• 48:00Hannah Berner?

  Thank you for bringing that up. It's not, we're not done with like this weekend of playing, but I, I played Taylor Strecker's wife.

• 48:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 48:08Hannah Berner?

  Who's pregnant. And I beat that bitch.

• 48:12Hannah Berner?

  I said, oh, you're her momma? You beat the growing baby? Look, come to play.

• 48:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And losers lose. What, what do we decide?

• 48:21Hannah Berner?

  To Donahue, like, look, come for the beast. You're gonna get eaten. That's what they say. Like, big dog gotta eat.

• 48:30Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, I'm literally just trying to like.

• 48:32Hannah Berner?

  She's also like, I don't even want to play in this league.

• 48:35Hannah Berner?

  I'm texting her.

• 48:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought it was something fun.

• 48:36Hannah Berner?

  I'm literally texting her like the mom from the documentary. I'm like, you stupid bitch, why would you pick? Why would you pick that running back? Are you fucking stupid and dumb and ugly?

• 48:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, are you gonna know how to parent your kid? You can't even parent this team?

• 48:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Putting you in charge of anything. Wait, I love Taylor and we're being.

• 48:54Hannah Berner?

  We love the Taylors. I want them to adopt me. The Taylors are like, Taylor Strucker is why I got into podcasting. So anyway. Um, and Tia Don, you edited Burning in Hell for like three years.

• 49:05Paige DeSorbo?

  No way.

• 49:05Hannah Berner?

  People don't know that. She likes to be behind the scenes, um, but I just put her up.

• 49:11Paige DeSorbo?

  So Ari, is your team overall doing well?

• 49:13Hannah Berner?

  You know, who's also in my league, Andrew Cullen, who's.

• 49:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Last year I said like, I was gonna do this league with you. Like just.

• 49:21Hannah Berner?

  Is that my fault?

• 49:22Paige DeSorbo?

  For fun to have something.

• 49:23Hannah Berner?

  I forgot.

• 49:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I thought of it like when everyone was like, oh, I have my fantasy draft next week. And I had a moment where I was like, should I do it with Hannah?

• 49:32Hannah Berner?

  Zero effort.

• 49:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, then I remembered that like, I really don't care.

• 49:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but you'd be so surprised. It's like the girls who go on The Bachelor who were like, this guy is ugly. I don't care. And then you see like eight girls get worked up about him and suddenly you're like, if he doesn't want to marry me, I'll like freak out.

• 49:48Paige DeSorbo?

  It would go one of two ways for me. I'd either be like so into it and competitive and be like refreshing all the time. Or like a Tamagotchi and I'd forget I had it. And be like, am I Tamagotchi done?

• 50:00Hannah Berner?

  The thing is you get like notifications.

• 50:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 50:02Hannah Berner?

  So it's basically me just feeding my, um, high for temporary happiness. So like if a guy gets a touchdown, it's like, you just got 12 points. And every week it's, it's all luck.

• 50:13Paige DeSorbo?

  What do you win at the end?

• 50:15Hannah Berner?

  Some money, but it's not about the money. It's about the love of the game and it's about.

• 50:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Then you're probably not gonna do it.

• 50:21Hannah Berner?

  But like when you, when I, like Andrew Cullen had a better draft than me and he was all like.

• 50:29Hannah Berner?

  That's how he talks.

• 50:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 50:30Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, I'm ready to play him.

• 50:33Paige DeSorbo?

  You are.

• 50:34Hannah Berner?

  Andrew, I'm coming for you.

• 50:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You were really close to winning last year, right?

• 50:37Hannah Berner?

  I was close to winning.

• 50:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I remember that.

• 50:39Hannah Berner?

  But thanks for bringing that up. Cause guess what close to winning is? It means you're a fucking loser. Um, but it's, it's really like yelling at guys, um, for like spraining an ankle. Like if a guy sprains an ankle, he like ruins your score. And I'm like, look where you're walking, bro.

• 50:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I get that. Um, speaking of. Nope.

• 50:59Hannah Berner?

  The Chiefs are are the Chiefs lost their first two games, which is kinda crazy.

• 51:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, did you see Taylor Swift had to walk in with like, she like walked into the game.

• 51:08Hannah Berner?

  Behind the.

• 51:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Bulletproof something like walked behind something. I don't know.

• 51:14Hannah Berner?

  Very scary.

• 51:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Very scary.

• 51:16Hannah Berner?

  Did no one was able to see her in the stadium.

• 51:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think so.

• 51:21Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, can I say something controversial?

• 51:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:24Hannah Berner?

  There's a girl on TikTok. Cause I'm back on TikTok. Who shaved her head. But didn't like ask her husband for permission.

• 51:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 51:34Hannah Berner?

  And then he saw it and said, I'm not attracted to you. You have to wear wigs around me. And the internet is a gasp and like, I'm be honest. It's giving G I Jane chic like. Like when a girl shaves her head, it's not even about like whether you look good or bad. It's like the confidence you exude. Um, it's clearly a look.

• 51:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe ask your wife is every if everything's okay. Rather than just hitting her with like, don't speak to me.

• 52:02Hannah Berner?

  No, he's literally like, don't speak to me. I'm not attracted to you. And marriage is about attraction. And it's like this.

• 52:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I bring up the word bangs and you're immediately like, and is everything okay at home?

• 52:11Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I mean, so everyone's mad being like, fuck this guy. But yeah, I think the first sign was not. That he isn't talking to her. I think it's that she thought about shaving her head. It's not that shaving her head's a bad thing, but. When you wanna make a drastic change to your hair, normally means you wanna drastic change in your life.

• 52:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like something's going on. She. That they don't like each other.

• 52:34Hannah Berner?

  If you are staying with someone, look, I've had so many boyfriends that walk in with the dumbest haircut where I look at them and I'm like. The fact that I'm associated with you pains me right now, but then you take a breath and you go, it'll grow out. We're good.

• 52:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I think there's a lot of times on TikTok like where girls will post something about their relationship or like. Their boyfriend will literally be in like the back of the TikTok, but he's not like smiling ear to ear. People are like, he hates you. And it's like. Me, he probably doesn't. He's like doing it. But then there are times where it's so. Apparent where it's like, you gotta get out of that relationship. My thing where I always, I feel like notice it is. And only because I had a boyfriend once who like was obsessed with talking about this and I was like, you have like mental issues. If you wanna shove cake in your wife's face, I, I think that you are one of-

• 53:27Hannah Berner?

  You hate women, you hate women.

• 53:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you are on a misogynistic level that you actually don't even realize-

• 53:33Hannah Berner?

  Are you talking like wedding day?

• 53:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Like, I had a boyfriend who would actively, I'm not kidding, argue with me that if he, if I didn't let him smoosh cake in my face on the wedding day, that like I wasn't fun.

• 53:45Hannah Berner?

  But that's not even a thing, like-

• 53:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like-

• 53:48Hannah Berner?

  But that's not in the bible.

• 53:49Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, why would you ever wanna take your-

• 53:52Hannah Berner?

  No, no, I've never said anything that you need to, it's, you're supposed to feed it to each other.

• 53:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Leave the cake out of it. Why would you ever wanna take your hand and smoosh it into my face like that on an aggressive level?

• 54:05Hannah Berner?

  No, also, you're ruining the glam.

• 54:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, the, the day I have glam, we're only here so that I can get the shot.

• 54:12Hannah Berner?

  I want my husband to barely kiss my lips because he knows that he doesn't wanna mess it up. Like, give me an air kiss. Give me an air kiss. Wait, the, the smash you in the face, that's not funny.

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  And so that's something that I always had like such a visceral reaction to, like whenever I see that on TikTok where like they put cake in each other's mouths, I'm like, no, I don't like it.

• 54:31Hannah Berner?

  No, not, well, it, it is one thing if like the two of them are like, we're so, we're quirky.

• 54:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we're doing it at the same time, open your mouth like that, but guys that are like smushing it and she's backing up.

• 54:41Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what it feels like? It feels like they're doing it for their boys, which is-

• 54:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Exactly what it is. We waited long enough.

• 54:49Paige DeSorbo?

  We have to bring up Riley Sheen.

• 54:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I've, I've been trying to watch it for the past three nights because I kept falling asleep.

• 54:56Hannah Berner?

  How, how did you fall asleep during that?

• 54:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I know.

• 54:58Hannah Berner?

  I was getting jolted, like, but I, I literally clutched my pearls. And I've seen a lot in this, like, I was a gasp, I was going, oh!

• 55:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, there were so many things that I was just, if you haven't watched it, it's phenomenal. First thing I wanna point out, the editing of it-

• 55:17Hannah Berner?

  Spectacular.

• 55:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Spectacular. The cinematography-

• 55:20Hannah Berner?

  The cinematography, spectacular. I liked how it felt like you were like on a-

• 55:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Put anyone in a, in a diner chatting?

• 55:26Hannah Berner?

  They're gonna give it up. That's why. If you put people in diners, suddenly they lose all privacy.

• 55:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:33Hannah Berner?

  And they're just like, let me wait out. That was my biggest note about it is, this man did not have to say-

• 55:39Paige DeSorbo?

  You couldn't water some of that info out of it?

• 55:43Hannah Berner?

  He did not have to say, like, he could have said ten percent of what he said and I would have been like, "That's a great documentary about Charlie Sheen."

• 55:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:50Hannah Berner?

  At one point, you could see they were like, "Hey, we're done, Charlie." And he's like, "One more thing."

• 55:55Hannah Berner?

  And I'm gonna give you guys an example. This doesn't give anything away. He tells a story about being really high on set, that his eyes were really heavy.

• 56:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:02Hannah Berner?

  And that finally, the director like noticed enough to pull him aside and was like, "You look like you're falling asleep during your scenes." So he, so I think he's gonna say, "Oh, I'm gonna do snort some cocaine."

• 56:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:12Hannah Berner?

  As one would do.

• 56:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Would.

• 56:13Hannah Berner?

  So, as Charlie Sheen would do. He goes, "I go get some ice, shove it up my butthole."

• 56:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:20Hannah Berner?

  And he says this deadpan and goes back.

• 56:24Paige DeSorbo?

  He was telling the craziest stories, but he was telling it to you as if he was like, "I just went down to the deli, got us a couple sodas, and they're in the kitchen. Do you want one?" Like, it's how he was like, "I took an ice cube, shoved it up my asshole, won an Oscar."

• 56:38Hannah Berner?

  As you do.

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 56:39Hannah Berner?

  And then, sorry, I didn't mean to squeal, but I'm feeling my emotions. I know, Sean Penn, who by the way, I've never even seen him give an interview before.

• 56:49Paige DeSorbo?

  So was going on. So was going on there. He was...

• 56:53Hannah Berner?

  Either he had something on him, he lost a bet. Sean Penn, like, Oscar-winning actor.

• 56:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:58Hannah Berner?

  Is just like, can I say one of his quotes?

• 57:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:01Hannah Berner?

  He goes, "You know, most guys, when they do cocaine, their dicks get weak." Imagine doing cocaine and your dick gets stronger. That's Charlie Sheen." The way I just said, "What?"

• 57:15Paige DeSorbo?

  The eroticness of this documentary was so phenomenal. I took, I took away like a couple top-tier things.

• 57:26Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 57:26Paige DeSorbo?

  One, Charlie Sheen has a phenomenal family. Sounds like his dad and his brothers, great humans. Two, where's the mom? Why didn't they bring up the mom? Didn't even, was there a mom?

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's what happens when the mom is not.

• 57:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Where is she?

• 57:44Hannah Berner?

  Where she kidnapped?

• 57:45Paige DeSorbo?

  What is she doing?

• 57:46Hannah Berner?

  In hiding, witness protection. I literally Googled Chao Xin's mom and she's exists, but not one part of the document. But, and it's funny.

• 57:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe she's just so private.

• 57:56Hannah Berner?

  But like, that's crazy when you're married, your whole family is in the public eye.

• 58:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I wanted the dad to be on more and I wanted the brother to be on more and I wanted his kids on more.

• 58:05Hannah Berner?

  He, okay, you sound like a producer. Calm down. She's like, I want his first child.

• 58:11Hannah Berner?

  I want his HIV test.

• 58:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Denise still loves him.

• 58:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Because, and you wanna know what? I, I love Denise. I do not fault her for a single second. Because when she tells the story of them meeting and hanging out, yeah, he was sober, he was a normal person. And she probably still loves that version.

• 58:31Hannah Berner?

  I don't remember fully from watching Beverly Hills, but she drops the F-bomb.

• 58:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:37Hannah Berner?

  Every three seconds in the best way.

• 58:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, I, I'm a big Denise Richards fan.

• 58:42Hannah Berner?

  They did her so wrong on that show, by the way. She, I, they should have treated her with care and respect. So that she had a long career on that show.

• 58:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you wanna know what? They were all jealous of her because she was a genuinely famous person.

• 58:57Hannah Berner?

  And the most beautiful woman to ever live.

• 58:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And then come, she was a sex symbol and then was coming on the show and they all wanted to be like, we're better than you.

• 59:04Hannah Berner?

  Been protected to not make her look crazy when she was getting attacked. But, um, the thing with the dad and the brothers.

• 59:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And she was remarried to like a freak psycho.

• 59:15Hannah Berner?

  Is she still with him?

• 59:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they're getting a divorce, thank God.

• 59:17Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, he was like.

• 59:18Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like a weird.

• 59:20Hannah Berner?

  Very strange.

• 59:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Very strange bird.

• 59:22Hannah Berner?

  Big jawline. That was just a jawline.

• 59:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Hannah Berner?

  Um, marriage.

• 59:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Strange man.

• 59:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, strange man. So Charlie Sheen goes, my brother and my dad did not wanna be in the documentary. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't want you to say that.

• 59:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:34Hannah Berner?

  If they didn't wanna be associated with it, but I totally get that. They've probably been through so much.

• 59:38Paige DeSorbo?

  So much. I mean, it's just been his whole life.

• 59:41Hannah Berner?

  But it is a case of nepotism. For sure, however, he's kind of a genius.

• 59:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I was gonna say, my other big takeaway is how many chances do men get? How many god, I mean, this man ruined his life. More times than he was successful and every time the general public and TV, he was in rehab being like having his agent being like, you can do any movie you want, they'll have you like if that was a woman or any other person.

• 1:00:16Hannah Berner?

  Crazy story, which I was surprised he said was about him and Nicolas Cage, which by the way, I didn't know Nicolas Cage was like the biggest party boy.

• 1:00:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you think Nicolas Cage is somewhere being like?

• 1:00:32Hannah Berner?

  He literally, the stories he told about Nicolas Cage, um.

• 1:00:37Paige DeSorbo?

  It made me, this is sick, but it made me like Nicolas Cage more.

• 1:00:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I didn't realize you were that much of like a freak.

• 1:00:46Hannah Berner?

  So they go on an airplane. Nicolas Cage takes the mic and like tells them like. They're going down, which by the way, where's the bit? Where's the bit in that? So everyone freaks out when they land, there's cops. And Charlie goes, well, good thing they were a fan. And they were just like, don't do that again. Imagine if a female celebrity did that.

• 1:01:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine if anyone did that, like if any other person did that, like, no, it's crazy.

• 1:01:15Hannah Berner?

  And then when he got to rehab, how, um.

• 1:01:20Paige DeSorbo?

  They let him leave?

• 1:01:21Hannah Berner?

  Nicolas Cage texts him and says, hey, there's a bikini judging contest in Palm Springs and he goes, so I had to go to that.

• 1:01:28Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like, hold on, let me get out of this rehab thing.

• 1:01:31Hannah Berner?

  He told the lady, if I'm not back by eight AM, I'll give you a million dollars. And he got back by seven forty.

• 1:01:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I just think it's a great documentary and the last thing that I took away from it.

• 1:01:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Push a man and he'll turn gay.

• 1:01:48Paige DeSorbo?

  They all have the capacity to go to the other side and I know that.

• 1:01:53Hannah Berner?

  The way he described it was actually so iconic. He goes, you ever just eat from the same menu every day? And then one day you're like, let's flip it to the other side. And the guy goes, do you regret it? And he goes, no, I wanted to taste the menu from the other side. But he didn't like say he was.

• 1:02:10Paige DeSorbo?

  But he basically said that happened from because of, because he was getting off of crack. And so that like felt good for whatever reason. And that's the first time it ever happened. So he probably did so many drugs. His whole brain was like rewired.

• 1:02:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And I know some that don't need crack.

• 1:02:32Hannah Berner?

  But it's also funny because he wasn't like, oh, I had to suck a guy's dick to like, get the water for the fire festival. Like there was no threat involved. He was like, I just, I wanted to do it. Um, which by the way, the way he said it though was so eloquent.

• 1:02:47Paige DeSorbo?

  He had a je ne sais quoi.

• 1:02:51Hannah Berner?

  I think he's bi and like more men should be able.

• 1:02:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm obsessed with him now. Like I will give him another chance. I think he should get back to acting. Here's actually, no, he actually shouldn't get back to acting. Here's one thing that no one said like the entire time. I don't think his problem really was. I mean, he obviously had a lot of problems.

• 1:03:15Hannah Berner?

  They never got to the root of it.

• 1:03:17Paige DeSorbo?

  He couldn't be famous. It was the fame. It wasn't like the working. It wasn't the movies. It wasn't like, he had to get up early and memorize these lines. He could obviously do that so easily. It was genuinely the fame. He probably had so many people watching everything he did, talking about everything he did, wanted to see like, and it got too much and no one.

• 1:03:37Hannah Berner?

  But I also think people always say like, okay, if you're proud with alcohol, there are always coping with the bigger problems. But like they never, they kind of made like his childhood seem like pretty good. I mean.

• 1:03:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, his childhood seemed fine.

• 1:03:48Hannah Berner?

  His dad was an addict too and was going through stuff. But yeah, the way his family stood by him to this day.

• 1:03:55Paige DeSorbo?

  To this day. They sound great.

• 1:03:57Hannah Berner?

  Even though he, he is a good example of like, you can. Fuck up so many times. And as a man Hollywood will take you back. But in terms of your relationships, like you can. You can try to rebuild and and he, even though he wasn't there for his daughter, is now like taking that time.

• 1:04:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was a really good documentary.

• 1:04:18Hannah Berner?

  I have to say one thing about um that made me reflect on society a little. Okay, no, but like when.

• 1:04:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah Peter never serious on the ball. Yeah, we are.

• 1:04:34Hannah Berner?

  Ask us to be serious, because the second I am, people are like, I'm here for laughter. Make me laugh clown. Um, I will. So he's like on crazy testosterone. He's addicted to like every drug. And he goes on his like hashtag winning.

• 1:04:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I like forgot about that.

• 1:04:54Hannah Berner?

  I remember it pretty clearly because everyone, he's going.

• 1:04:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Like college?

• 1:04:59Hannah Berner?

  We were young, but he's doing all these like crazy interviews, saying like the craziest thing, because he's like so. Crazy on testosterone. He's like, I got tiger blood. And the way people responded was like, this guy.

• 1:05:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Put him on tour.

• 1:05:12Hannah Berner?

  Is awesome. People were like, he's saying all the things that we all wanna say.

• 1:05:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Give him a marquee.

• 1:05:22Hannah Berner?

  So when you see a very loud, crazy man, it doesn't always mean he's right.

• 1:05:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I wish they did dive into like the team that was around him at that time, like signing him up to sell tickets to shows.

• 1:05:37Hannah Berner?

  Sixty days in a row. That's when he started doing anal.

• 1:05:46Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what? I got it. You need somebody to take that job.

• 1:05:49Hannah Berner?

  Paige goes, and then we were in Denver and I took a beta block car. I just shoved it up my butt and I went on stage.

• 1:06:00Hannah Berner?

  The gigglers, they've become desensitized, they have to go.

• 1:06:06Hannah Berner?

  Oh god, I do have to say, I did have a woman stop me at the airport and said, hi, I have um a twenty-one-year-old daughter and I, I love what you guys do to help, to help her be confident in herself, so don't listen to that part. Now I'm like aware twenty-one-year-olds are listening, because look, they keep us young.

• 1:06:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:24Hannah Berner?

  Oh, there is a good show out called Revenge, Love Con Revenge on Netflix.

• 1:06:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:06:32Hannah Berner?

  Which is from the girl who was swindled by the Tinder Swindler.

• 1:06:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:06:36Hannah Berner?

  Who's made her whole purpose in life to help um find other men who are conning women.

• 1:06:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:06:42Hannah Berner?

  So it's kind of like.

• 1:06:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Like she's like a, almost like a private investigator?

• 1:06:46Hannah Berner?

  Well, she gets this private investigator and what I'm obsessed with is it's a woman. So this woman goes, I'm like a dog with a bone. I will stop at nothing.

• 1:06:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I want to hire a private investigator so badly.

• 1:06:57Hannah Berner?

  You want to have.

• 1:06:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know what I want him to look into.

• 1:07:01Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I need to find something else.

• 1:07:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I like, I want some, I want to be like, just look into it.

• 1:07:05Hannah Berner?

  I just feel like something needs to be undercovered. You, you want to be sitting in a, in a van with shades on.

• 1:07:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I want to be like walking down the street and my private investigator call me like, I got something. And be like, I'll be right over. Why do I want that so badly?

• 1:07:19Hannah Berner?

  And you want her to print out photos and put it in an envelope and hand it to you and you go, thank you, thought so.

• 1:07:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I want to be like, thank you, I'm sending it to my lawyer.

• 1:07:30Paige DeSorbo?

  And then like my expert witness is just this gorgeous private investigator.

• 1:07:34Hannah Berner?

  Next time you tell me that you can't record in studio because you have a UTI, I'm going to get my private investigator. And be like, she's actually, she's at home in Albany and her mom's feeding her lasagna. Do you know lasagna soup is a thing for fall?

• 1:07:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I have seen it. I've never had it though.

• 1:07:51Hannah Berner?

  It's kind of giving, giving just like soggy lasagna.

• 1:07:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not gonna lie, I had the best lasagna I've ever had in Tuscany the other weekend. Do you want to know why it was so much better?

• 1:08:01Hannah Berner?

  Because it's in Tuscany.

• 1:08:02Paige DeSorbo?

  But they like burnt it a little, like it was crispy.

• 1:08:05Hannah Berner?

  You need crisps.

• 1:08:06Paige DeSorbo?

  It actually tasted like second-day lasagna, which I like.

• 1:08:10Hannah Berner?

  Also, I want the bottom too. I want the cheese to be.

• 1:08:12Paige DeSorbo?

  The whole thing was crispy and I was like, you guys crush it here. Big fan of your work. Like, no, they're right about you guys. Like, you're fucking crushing.

• 1:08:21Hannah Berner?

  You look, you go, how's your Italian food? Do it good.

• 1:08:24Paige DeSorbo?

  All I think about anytime I go to a different country is, do you guys ever crave sushi?

• 1:08:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Do, uh, do the Italians ever think, like, you know what? All I want is some fucking hibachi.

• 1:08:34Hannah Berner?

  Is there no sushi there?

• 1:08:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I don't know. Probably not a lot. I'm sure there was like one or two, but like, you, you're never in Italy and you see like tacos.

• 1:08:51Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm like, wait, I want them to experience it more.

• 1:08:55Hannah Berner?

  But you know what? I feel like, cause the Italian's so good, they're like, why would we have like?

• 1:08:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, but I'm like, don't you get sick of it? Don't they get sick of it?

• 1:09:02Hannah Berner?

  No, because that's what they know. That's who they are. Like, imagine if you never tried Diet Coke, you wouldn't crave it.

• 1:09:11Hannah Berner?

  Or normal Coke.

• 1:09:13Hannah Berner?

  You wouldn't even know.

• 1:09:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 1:09:15Hannah Berner?

  It's like Charlie Sheen with heroin.

• 1:09:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:20Paige DeSorbo?

  How about it was a girl that got him into it? That I didn't see coming. A girlfriend.

• 1:09:28Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, which I don't like to blame the woman, the woman. And I would say, like, he knew what he was getting into.

• 1:09:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never been offered heroin.

• 1:09:38Hannah Berner?

  I've never been offered cocaine.

• 1:09:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a loser.

• 1:09:43Hannah Berner?

  No, I've had multiple conversations where I'm like, why don't they like me? And they're like, you don't do cocaine. And I was like, how can they tell? People can tell. They could smell it.

• 1:09:50Paige DeSorbo?

  People just know.

• 1:09:51Hannah Berner?

  They just know. No, I've never been offered. I mean, look, I know people who know people.

• 1:09:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Hannah Berner?

  Who know a guy.

• 1:09:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:09:59Hannah Berner?

  So, watch out. Do you think Charlie Sheen is gonna have like a Pam Anderson revival of his career?

• 1:10:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. I think this was more like, I have to make amends. It's been so many years now. Let me tell you what happened back then. It's taken me this long to kind of get over it. Are you staring at my nails?

• 1:10:19Hannah Berner?

  Well, no, you were just, like, your long fingers were, like, in my face, so I had nowhere else to look. I was saying, or do you think he just needed money?

• 1:10:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Probably a little bit of both.

• 1:10:29Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, here's what I'm thinking. He did have Martin Sheena's dad. I'm sure that he had a lot of money set up that he couldn't touch at all. Like, I don't know if he went through all of it. I didn't realize he was the number one.

• 1:10:43Hannah Berner?

  They didn't have brand deals back then.

• 1:10:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, but he was the highest paid TV actor ever.

• 1:10:48Hannah Berner?

  Well, he said he ran out of his money.

• 1:10:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, he did?

• 1:10:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:52Paige DeSorbo?

  He was making two million an episode.

• 1:10:54Hannah Berner?

  I know. I know. But, um...

• 1:10:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, the Charlie Sheen lore, I'm just like obsessed with it.

• 1:10:59Hannah Berner?

  Especially if he was like overwhelmed by all the fame and stuff and things started to go well. I wouldn't be like, you know what I should do? Do a Netflix documentary right now.

• 1:11:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, it's a really good documentary. You should watch it.

• 1:11:08Hannah Berner?

  You guys gotta watch it. Um, thank you for giggling with us. I am in Norfolk, Norfolk.

• 1:11:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Virginia?

• 1:11:15Hannah Berner?

  Norfolk, Virginia, um, this weekend. And I have San Diego, a second show added, and Vegas and Phoenix. Love you guys. Thank you for giggling. Talk later. Bye.

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