Pod Insights Giggly Squad Giggling about authenticity, splits, and hairlines About this episode Paige is going to Harvard and Hannah had an incident at the airport.
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Transcript 13,489 words · 10 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Paige DeSorbo? Get The Daily Show's ongoing coverage in Decision 2026 daily. What else are you gonna do? Watch football? Oh, you will? Okay, bad example.
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1:12 Speaker 04 Sup, gigglers? Carrie, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
1:22 Speaker 04 I mean, the day just got away from me.
1:25 Hannah Berner? It's going down, down, gigglers.
1:28 Paige DeSorbo? Every time the pod starts, I think of something that is like so not acceptable for the pod. And I'm like, oh my God, I also have to tell you this later because it's so unhinged. And I wish that I could say it on the pod, but it's just like, I can't.
1:42 Hannah Berner? Wait, when I just said, "It's going down," I thought it was gonna come up more, but finish this song. It's going down, down.
1:50 Paige DeSorbo? Sugar, we're going down, swinging.
1:53 Hannah Berner? See, I didn't know that was the words. I thought it was, "It was going down, down, neener neener around." What is those words? And then I realized, I don't want to know.
2:02 Paige DeSorbo? Those, that genre, specifically, little fake and gay.
2:12 Paige DeSorbo? I'm obsessed with that TikTok.
2:14 Hannah Berner? Wait, I've been wanting to make a TikTok of that, but I sat back, I said, which one do we do?
2:19 Paige DeSorbo? No, because you want to know what? We're in like a different box. Other people on the internet can do stuff and then when we do it, it's like, oh my god.
2:26 Hannah Berner? Well, everyone was really mad, not mad, but when I was talking about red lettuce, everyone was like, it's a fucking cabbage. I'm like, do people really know that? Is it that obvious?
2:35 Paige DeSorbo? No, the internet.
2:36 Hannah Berner? Cause I never learned that in school, being like, it's, it's a cabbage.
2:39 Paige DeSorbo? The internet, you could say anything. And someone's right there to be like, except for the fa- and you're like, okay. And that, I've actually hit a point where I don't want to be relatable to everyone.
2:52 Hannah Berner? Oh, I don't. Oh, you've been in the comments. She goes, I have responses.
2:56 Paige DeSorbo? The internet is all of, everyone's so obsessed with the relatability and authenticity. You know what? Let's normalize you not knowing a fucking thing about me. Normalize. I don't want to be relatable to everyone.
3:10 Hannah Berner? Everyone, if you say I'm being authentic, or I'm trying to be authentic, you're not authentic. If you try to be authentic, you're not. And for brands to be like, we're just trying to be authentic.
3:22 Paige DeSorbo? I just, I can't with the word authenticity anymore.
3:24 Hannah Berner? Authentic is like the new essential, where people used to be like, essentially, and now they're like, I'm just like, being, trying to be authentic.
3:31 Paige DeSorbo? I want my feed to be filled with inauthentic people. I want super rich people on my For You page. I want to see how they live. I don't want to relate to them whatsoever, and I want something to aspire to. What happened to aspiring to something?
3:45 Hannah Berner? If you want relatability, go to Facebook, go to your high school graduation group, click on one of the profiles.
3:52 Paige DeSorbo? Speaking of that, I'm missing my high school graduation. No. Uh-uh, not that. I'm missing my high school reunion.
3:59 Hannah Berner? Oh, your high school reunion?
4:00 Paige DeSorbo? And I was gonna, like, I felt good for this one. You know, the one like five years ago, I was like, no. No, but I can't go to it, cause it's, whatever, it's a day, it doesn't work with my schedule.
4:11 Hannah Berner? They didn't talk to your team beforehand, which is not relatable.
4:15 Paige DeSorbo? Not relatable, not authentic.
4:17 Hannah Berner? What's funny though, not to, not to be too relatable, but Beacon on the Upper West Side, they do like reunions, but it's like in someone's garage in Bushwick with like a DJ.
4:29 Paige DeSorbo? It's so, ours is like a luncheon.
4:33 Paige DeSorbo? It's like, come here, we're gonna have cocktails. No, speaking of authenticity, every Monday, I'm like, let me throw a fall fit for the girls. So there's like inspiration for the week. When it comes to getting dressed for the pod, I can't do it.
4:47 Hannah Berner? You've nothing left.
4:48 Paige DeSorbo? I think it's because I'm like.
4:50 Hannah Berner? Is it because you're bringing so much personality to the pod every week? That like, it's almost too much to bring both the personality and the fit?
4:57 Paige DeSorbo? No, because I've been on stage so many times doing both, which is insulting that you'd even bring that up. It's more like when I'm with you, I need to be my most comfortable.
5:09 Hannah Berner? And that's how I feel all the time.
5:14 Hannah Berner? But also, when you come in in a comfortable fit, I'm like, oh, she's ready to fucking go off on the mic.
5:19 Paige DeSorbo? I think I can say more.
5:20 Hannah Berner? Well, we always joke in stand up, in the stand up community, when I'm working on new jokes, I wear something to reflect it. Like, I'll wear a hoodie. Because if you show up on stage.
5:31 Paige DeSorbo? I love when life imitates art.
5:32 Hannah Berner? Yeah, but then when the material's ready, then you put the fit together, you're wearing a tie on stage.
5:37 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
5:37 Hannah Berner? Which, by the way, I'm so in love with my new hour, I've been having so much fun, but I did fly in today and I'm very tired.
5:45 Paige DeSorbo? I can imagine.
5:45 Hannah Berner? From touring.
5:46 Paige DeSorbo? Were you in Virginia?
5:47 Hannah Berner? I was in Virginia, y'all. It is southern.
5:50 Paige DeSorbo? I had so many of the Virginia gigglers being like, we know you're here.
5:56 Hannah Berner? I always think I'm hiding you in my suitcase.
5:58 Paige DeSorbo? Guys, I'm, I was like, I'm not there, like, I don't want to get your hopes up. They're like, hey, well, we know you're coming out.
6:03 Hannah Berner? The worst part about my show is that, like, obviously my hour is about my life, so obviously there are references. Sometimes I'll just say Paige, sometimes I say my best friend Paige, because I don't want to assume. And I like.
6:14 Paige DeSorbo? You don't know where we're at.
6:15 Hannah Berner? I have a bit about how pretty you are.
6:17 Paige DeSorbo? Thank you. And that's all I require moving forward.
6:20 Hannah Berner? Literally, it's like, it's okay if your best friend's somewhere else, as long as she's saying your name and preaching your name.
6:25 Paige DeSorbo? You know what's so funny? Every time I watch like a comedian hour, actually, the one that always pops into my head is John Mulaney. Like, one of his earlier ones, he would do it all about his wife.
6:35 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
6:37 Paige DeSorbo? I don't mean to bring that up because they're divorced now, but I would always think, like, does he run this by her first? And that's our relationship.
6:44 Hannah Berner? Mm hmm.
6:44 Paige DeSorbo? Like, you do hours about me sometimes.
6:47 Hannah Berner? No, because if you're close to a comedian, they're gonna.
6:50 Paige DeSorbo? You're gonna be in the hour.
6:51 Hannah Berner? If I didn't talk about you in the hour, we're not friends.
6:53 Paige DeSorbo? It's not authentic.
6:56 Hannah Berner? But it's funny because I mentioned you and there's always like a big cheer.
6:58 Paige DeSorbo? Thank you.
6:59 Hannah Berner? And I'm like, okay, back to me. And then there's always someone's like, where's Paige? And I'm like, how do I tell this to you? She couldn't make it to Norfolk, Virginia this weekend.
7:08 Paige DeSorbo? Where were there Sunday?
7:10 Hannah Berner? I was Richmond Sunday. I went to a cat cafe called The Perfect Bean. Get it? The Perfect Bean.
7:17 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
7:17 Hannah Berner? Oh, my God, I went to a-
7:18 Paige DeSorbo? And beans, like toe beans? A double entendre.
7:23 Hannah Berner? What's so crazy is four years ago, you would have never known that.
7:25 Paige DeSorbo? No, you've never gotten that.
7:25 Hannah Berner? And like, people grow and people learn. Um, I have to make an announcement.
7:29 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
7:30 Hannah Berner? I'm obsessed with the show Nashville.
7:35 Paige DeSorbo? I'm obsessed with it. I'm only-
7:38 Hannah Berner? Wait, are you really?
7:39 Paige DeSorbo? Well, you texted me and said, do you want to start Nashville? And you've never done that, but we've never had a show simultane-
7:45 Hannah Berner? We've never had a show.
7:46 Paige DeSorbo? I think it's a new-
7:47 Hannah Berner? But this is the thing. I started and immediately I go, oh, no, no, no. There's a, there's singing, but it's not, it's not like-
7:56 Paige DeSorbo? It's not like a musical. I could do a pop star.
8:00 Hannah Berner? In musicals, they're like, and then I remember this one time-
8:04 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, that I can't take seriously.
8:06 Hannah Berner? I was free.
8:07 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like-
8:07 Hannah Berner? This is like, she's a pop star. And then the songs low key, I'm like, is this slapping?
8:12 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, also, they're both really good.
8:15 Hannah Berner? They all actually sing in it. I've done some research.
8:18 Paige DeSorbo? And I think there really was drama on that set.
8:23 Hannah Berner? For sure, because I Googled it and everything on the internet's correct.
8:28 Paige DeSorbo? Everything ever put on the internet is correct.
8:30 Hannah Berner? That, because their relationship on camera was, had so much tension, they tried to be like, but also just because your relationship on camera has tension does not mean you have to not get along in person.
8:39 Paige DeSorbo? Right. No, I would say the majority of sets, people like get along. Unless there's like an A-list male actor. Then I'm sure some shit goes awry.
8:49 Hannah Berner? Which is every single film.
8:50 Paige DeSorbo? But other than that.
8:51 Hannah Berner? So for people who don't know, Nashville is about this older country star and this new country star. Connie Britton and Hayden Panettiere.
9:00 Paige DeSorbo? Gorgeous redhead. I think we should also point out.
9:02 Hannah Berner? So iconic. I never knew how Hayden Panettiere like came up.
9:07 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
9:07 Hannah Berner? Like I've never saw her work. I can't look away from her.
9:11 Paige DeSorbo? In terms of like.
9:12 Hannah Berner? How she carries herself, like just.
9:14 Paige DeSorbo? Like her aesthetic.
9:15 Hannah Berner? She's such a good villain, but then you're like, wait, but is she just complicated? I'm, and I feel like every, so much with ADD, every scene is giving. Now, am I triggered by any man with a guitar? And were there a couple of scenes, especially with the very religious football player that I was like, it was feeling too close to home for me and the CTE was raging. Um, but I, all the guys are so hot in it.
9:40 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah. No.
9:41 Hannah Berner? And that.
9:41 Paige DeSorbo? You wanna know why?
9:42 Hannah Berner? And you wanna know why?
9:44 Paige DeSorbo? Why? Because it used to be on prime time television and people wanna watch hot people. They don't want relatability in television.
9:54 Hannah Berner? I also, I fucking hate when it's all these hot women with just below average dudes around them.
10:01 Paige DeSorbo? If I wanted to look at ugly men, I would literally go on the sidewalk. Not in my television.
10:07 Hannah Berner? Yep. I want the men, whoever did the casting, it was either a flaming gay man with impeccable taste.
10:12 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
10:13 Hannah Berner? Or a woman who hated her husband and was living vicariously through this casting process.
10:19 Hannah Berner? The men are so hot. They're like pulling off soul patches. Like, I was like, am I attracted to a man with a soul patch right now? Like, I'm questioning everything about me.
10:29 Paige DeSorbo? No, I think it was like a massive show. I don't like, where was that? We were in college.
10:33 Hannah Berner? We were in college.
10:34 Paige DeSorbo? So it's hard to keep up with something weekly in college.
10:36 Hannah Berner? Came up with in college was Jersey Shore.
10:38 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
10:39 Hannah Berner? The Thursdays, we watched Jersey Shore, but that was it. But I, I knew it was always around, but also like, I'm not a country music fan.
10:44 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
10:45 Hannah Berner? We listened to misogynistic rap. Like, I was like, there's no way this is for me. But also as comedians, we have this obsession with musicians. Cause like, we're going to all the same stages, but we don't get respect. And they get one three minute song. And people are like, you're amazing. We're all do um the same joke twice at the stand and some will be like, this bitch doesn't have any new material. Like after a joke, they're like, next one, next one.
11:11 Paige DeSorbo? What I wouldn't have even noticed, like the opening scene is the orpheum. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did I say?
11:21 Hannah Berner? Orpheum, which is Madison.
11:23 Paige DeSorbo? Wisconsin.
11:24 Hannah Berner? We're getting all.
11:28 Hannah Berner? So they perform in the first scene where we performed. So you're enjoying it.
11:33 Paige DeSorbo? Netflix, I feel like is crushing it. I go through phases with my streaming platforms. Like some days I'm like, it's all about Hulu. Who could even compete? Then other days I'm like HBO till I die. Netflix is doing a really good job because I also started that Jason Bateman show Bad Rabbit, which I keep wanting to call Task Rabbit, but that's my own issue. He's such a phenomenal actor.
11:56 Hannah Berner? Bad Rabbit about like a vibrator that goes rogue?
12:00 Paige DeSorbo? It's about a restaurant in New York City that they like open these two brothers. It's Jason Bateman and his brother Jude Law. And it's like, they're like degenerates kind of, and like it's just them like scraping by and trying to like get through. And these guys are like trying to kill the one guy. It's like a whole thing.
12:14 Hannah Berner? Is Jude Law British in it or American?
12:19 Paige DeSorbo? One thing about Jude Law.
12:22 Paige DeSorbo? Remember when he had that crazy scandal because he cheated on his wife and he hooked up with the nanny?
12:27 Hannah Berner? The nanny.
12:28 Paige DeSorbo? I think his karma currently.
12:30 Hannah Berner? His hairline?
12:32 Paige DeSorbo? It's insane.
12:32 Hannah Berner? Go to Turkey.
12:33 Paige DeSorbo? No, go to Turkey.
12:35 Hannah Berner? You live in Europe.
12:36 Paige DeSorbo? It's almost insulting to the American people because it's like, you're Jude Law.
12:41 Hannah Berner? Is he being relatable?
12:44 Paige DeSorbo? Not if you're on my TV. Don't be relatable if you're on my TV in a scripted show.
12:50 Hannah Berner? My mom loves Jude Law on the holiday. He came up on the screen. She said, oh.
12:55 Paige DeSorbo? I had the same reaction. I go, oh, let's put some criticism on the man. Jude.
13:02 Paige DeSorbo? Figure it out, honey, because it's not, it's not, it's not looking the way you think it's looking. Yeah, do something.
13:09 Hannah Berner? Or is it, you European men are like, I don't do my teeth, I don't do my hair, they're just kind of like, this is me?
13:14 Paige DeSorbo? Well, if you want to work in America.
13:16 Hannah Berner? Or do you also think he got cocky for a second, where he was like, people love me because I'm good at acting?
13:20 Paige DeSorbo? I think it's just men don't think about it, where women start thinking about it at like 23, we start getting pushed eye cream. So like by our 50s, we've been here, where men are like, oh, am I aging? But even then, it's like, they got salt and pepper hair.
13:36 Hannah Berner? Mm-hmm.
13:37 Paige DeSorbo? We got like witchy.
13:39 Hannah Berner? Mm-hmm. But I do have to say, hot take, I was talking to my friend, I had like baby fat in my face in my twenties.
13:47 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
13:48 Hannah Berner? That has gone, and I kind of feel like more snatched than ever at 34.
13:54 Paige DeSorbo? I'm the hottest I've ever been.
13:55 Hannah Berner? I'm the hottest I've ever been. Like, I was, I wouldn't say ugly.
13:59 Paige DeSorbo? Mm-hmm.
14:00 Hannah Berner? But the feng shui was off of my face. I was figuring it out when I was younger.
14:04 Paige DeSorbo? I socialized this weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
14:08 Hannah Berner? What? Oh, so you're more tired than me, and I went touring?
14:12 Paige DeSorbo? No, I literally yapped Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, went to a party on Saturday night, saw some people hadn't seen in a couple of years, because I'm not in the party scene, and they said, you've never looked better.
14:28 Hannah Berner? But you know what? It's also inner beauty. You're shining.
14:30 Paige DeSorbo? I think it's my aura.
14:31 Hannah Berner? You're shining from inside.
14:33 Paige DeSorbo? Thank you so much, 12:30.
14:34 Hannah Berner? They go, you've always been beautiful, but you had an ugly energy deal.
14:37 Paige DeSorbo? No.
14:37 Hannah Berner? And they go, now positivity.
14:39 Paige DeSorbo? It's actually, that's funny you say that. My brother said the exact same thing to me this weekend. He goes, do you know that, like, a couple, for a couple of years, you were like really a bitch to be around, and it was like unsettling, and we all talked about it? And I was like, what do you mean, who's you all? He was like, me, mom and dad.
14:57 Hannah Berner? The family group chat.
14:58 Paige DeSorbo? He was like, pretty much everyone was like, I guess this is how she is now. I was like, oh my god. You guys didn't even care enough to do an intervention?
15:08 Hannah Berner? You go, and you're fired.
15:10 Paige DeSorbo? He was like, but you're like fun now again. And I was like, thanks.
15:14 Hannah Berner? But it is true.
15:14 Paige DeSorbo? Get out of my apartment.
15:15 Hannah Berner? You have phases in your life where you're kind of, you're navigating. And I did hear, mental health moment, that are those times in your life that you're feeling lost and scared. You know, this is my Monroe quote. That means something good is around the corner. That's how you know you're about to level up, when you feel most.
15:30 Paige DeSorbo? When things fall apart. It's so that other things can come together.
15:33 Hannah Berner? Yes, yes. You know, they throw dirt on your name to grow flowers. That's a TikTok. That's always on TikTok. I do have to say at my standup shows, I always ask how people met. And Bumble is literally one of the top ones.
15:46 Paige DeSorbo? I bet.
15:47 Hannah Berner? And it's adorable.
15:48 Paige DeSorbo? I feel like anytime I go to a wedding, like, and people are asking, like, how did the couple meet? It's always Bumble. And most recently, it's always been people being like, I deleted all the apps. And then I re-downloaded. And then I met them.
16:04 Hannah Berner? You never know. It's like thrift shopping.
16:08 Paige DeSorbo? But another person's yuck isn't another person's yum.
16:11 Hannah Berner? Also, I do understand that sometimes you get tired with the dating apps and you like have to delete it. And then when you come back, it's like, you feel renewed.
16:19 Paige DeSorbo? You need a minute.
16:20 Hannah Berner? The algorithm is there for you now.
16:21 Paige DeSorbo? You have new interests.
16:23 Hannah Berner? New interests, new hobbies to talk about.
16:25 Paige DeSorbo? You have new pictures to upload.
16:26 Hannah Berner? Yeah, and I also feel like Bumble is always for like the type A girls, which I feel like is a lot of gigglers. Who are like, I'm taking control of my life.
16:32 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
16:32 Hannah Berner? I'm messaging who I want to message, who I'm interested in. I don't like when guys are just bothering me. It feels very abrasive.
16:39 Paige DeSorbo? Like, let me choose.
16:40 Hannah Berner? Let me do the choosing. Like, I'm at a restaurant, sitting down to eat.
16:44 Paige DeSorbo? One of my friends met their fiance on Bumble. Not only did she, like, give up on all the dating apps and dating in general. She, like, moved states. She was like, got a new job, like, the whole thing. And then she was finally like, okay, I'm gonna start dating again. Immediately found her fiance.
17:00 Hannah Berner? That's crazy. I have heard stories of people being like, he was the first one I matched on Bumble. And I'm like, how is that possible? But you guys, anything can happen with love.
17:09 Paige DeSorbo? It's honestly such a rom-com vibe.
17:12 Hannah Berner? Yeah. Not to talk about my exes, but I did meet British Dave on Bumble. And British Dave has never done anything wrong.
17:18 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
17:19 Hannah Berner? And he's perfect. He lives in Australia. He was trying to get away from me as far as possible.
17:24 Paige DeSorbo? I have a couple who've moved.
17:27 Hannah Berner? I'll say, a win is a win.
17:30 Hannah Berner? I definitely had the situation where the guy's photos were like him looking so hot, like in college playing football and it was like seven years later and that man looked so different. I said, where is that stud from this photo and did you eat him?
17:46 Paige DeSorbo? I've had a lot of guys where like all their interests on the dating app and like you meet them and it's like, none of those are their interests.
17:54 Hannah Berner? Also, when they say, I want a girl who like doesn't take life seriously. Shut up.
18:00 Paige DeSorbo? Or like likes what I like. Like, sorry, Sundays. I'm doing my hair journey.
18:07 Hannah Berner? I have a hair mask.
18:07 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, like I have the hair mask on Sundays.
18:10 Hannah Berner? But the great thing about Bumble is they're aware of all these like mistakes that happen on dating apps. So they have an ID and photo verification, which is amazing because I feel like it makes things feel safer.
18:22 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
18:22 Hannah Berner? The only surprise is like their drink order.
18:25 Paige DeSorbo? Do a full background check.
18:26 Hannah Berner? Yeah, like I don't want a guy saying he's like thirty five and he's twenty six.
18:31 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
18:31 Hannah Berner? And I'm like, where's your mother? Like when?
18:34 Paige DeSorbo? I needed to match up with your license.
18:35 Hannah Berner? When's your curfew? I want to see a therapy bill.
18:39 Paige DeSorbo? And don't make me get the authorities involved.
18:42 Hannah Berner? The profiles on Bumble kind of highlight what you have in common. So you can quickly spot which prompts you should respond to like, so it makes it easy.
18:49 Paige DeSorbo? Like if someone said hiking, fishing, outdoor things, I would say next.
18:53 Hannah Berner? No, thank you. It gives you a full vibe. I just think the algorithm and how they have the profile set up makes it so easy for you mentally and not as exhausting. And if you're still exhausted from dating, because dating can be hard, they have a dating coach, which is really cute.
19:09 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I kind of love that job application.
19:12 Hannah Berner? They give you advice tips, right? When you might need a hand. They encourage you to show interest in their interest. They prompt. It's like when your girls are sick of you talking about your dating life, you're just like, Bumble coach.
19:23 Paige DeSorbo? When you bring up the classics. Today's segment is brought to you by Bumble, the go-to for finding love. Dating should feel exciting, not exhausting, and Bumble makes it fun, safe, and totally on your terms. So if you're ready for a real connection that lasts, Bumble's ready when you are. So last night when I'm at the Giants game.
19:42 Hannah Berner? Wait, I didn't know you were at the Giants game. Malik Neighbors.
19:45 Paige DeSorbo? I hate to say it, perfect night for a game. So not a sentence I would say, but it was like the best weather.
19:50 Hannah Berner? Did I watch it on TV?
19:51 Paige DeSorbo? Did you?
19:52 Hannah Berner? Yeah, cuz Malik Neighbors is my.
19:54 Paige DeSorbo? In your fantasy?
19:54 Hannah Berner? In my fantasy league and he, he hurt himself like a.
19:57 Paige DeSorbo? Did he?
19:58 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
19:59 Paige DeSorbo? He might have left.
20:00 Hannah Berner? Landed on his shoulder. No, fantasy football is just trying to like make sure your guys don't die.
20:05 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
20:05 Hannah Berner? One of my guys went out on a stretcher and I said, babe, I need you to live.
20:07 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I saw, wait, from the Giants?
20:10 Hannah Berner? One of them?
20:10 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
20:11 Hannah Berner? They're always getting screwed at all stretchers.
20:14 Paige DeSorbo? Here's the thing, I'm sitting there, I'm watching the game, I'm eating my snacks and at one point I go, that is adorable. My brother is sitting next to me and he goes, what? And I go, adorable. And he was like, what part is adorable? And I go, honestly, it's the whole thing. Like, let's just break it down for a minute. This is musical theater, okay? You have to remember the plays. Sorry, that's memorizing lines.
20:38 Hannah Berner? That's choreography.
20:39 Paige DeSorbo? That's choreography.
20:41 Hannah Berner? When they go five, six, seven, eight.
20:43 Paige DeSorbo? You're all putting the same outfit on. Sorry, that's a costume. And then they're all going out there, they know what they have to do and then they're performing and I think it's adorable. Also, take one look around that stadium, 85,000 people. I go, male loneliness epidemic, where?
21:01 Paige DeSorbo? Where the, what the fuck are you talking about?
21:03 Hannah Berner? They're all singing the same songs.
21:05 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like, it's stacked here. There's so many men high-fiving each other, they don't know each other, just like having the best time ever.
21:14 Hannah Berner? Crying.
21:16 Paige DeSorbo? At one point, I literally go, just kiss. Like, come on. I was wreaking havoc and that sucks, but.
21:22 Hannah Berner? At the end of the game, if a player like likes another player, he goes up to them and says, can we trade jerseys? And then they take each other's jerseys off.
21:32 Paige DeSorbo? They unclo- dress?
21:33 Hannah Berner? Unclo- and they swap jerseys. It's like going up to a girl at a party and be like, I really like your top. And she's like, I like your top. And you're like, do you want to go to the bathroom and like switch? And then you walk out and you're like. I don't. Also, when I. You walk out and you're like, it smells like you.
21:47 Paige DeSorbo? Oh. And then like, and then at halftime, they had, um.
21:53 Hannah Berner? Yeah, what'd they do?
21:53 Paige DeSorbo? They did the A and T band, like from the college, like from Drumline, like them.
21:59 Hannah Berner? Yes, yes, yes.
22:01 Paige DeSorbo? They were so good. They were so good. And I was just like, this, what a great experience. And I just kept thinking, like, the men are fine. They're having a great time.
22:12 Hannah Berner? No, they're literally fine.
22:13 Paige DeSorbo? Did you see Travis Kelsey was yelling?
22:15 Hannah Berner? Wait, so tell me the tea, because I actually had to jump on stage during it. And they kept being like, the ma- they wouldn't say his name. They were like, the main players are really angry.
22:24 Paige DeSorbo? Well, I think he got fined earlier in the day for making like, some like gesture. I don't know if he did like some like sexual gesture. He got like fined from the NFL. But then there were all these.
22:35 Hannah Berner? During the game or just like, walking around?
22:37 Paige DeSorbo? No, actually.
22:39 Hannah Berner? How early in the day?
22:40 Paige DeSorbo? I don't know. He did something. I think he did something like.
22:43 Hannah Berner? Oh.
22:44 Paige DeSorbo? Referencing his crotch of some sort.
22:46 Hannah Berner? Okay.
22:47 Paige DeSorbo? Whatever. And then he was like yelling at the coach.
22:50 Hannah Berner? No, literally. Wait, so he yelled at the coach?
22:54 Paige DeSorbo? He was like heated about something. You could tell they were like having a little back and forth.
22:58 Hannah Berner? They had a little, a little tiff.
22:59 Paige DeSorbo? Mm-hmm.
23:00 Hannah Berner? I mean, the drama.
23:01 Paige DeSorbo? The drama alone.
23:02 Hannah Berner? Well, everyone's saying like the Chiefs, they started off very badly. They're oh and three. And they just beat the Giants.
23:09 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, this isn't a.
23:10 Hannah Berner? No, we're getting too deep.
23:11 Paige DeSorbo? Never getting too late. Honestly, I just started drifting off.
23:14 Hannah Berner? Well, I know your eye literally.
23:18 Paige DeSorbo? I have three minutes and forty-five seconds in me to talk sports with anyone. And then I'm like. I think they all want to make out. We gotta change the subject.
23:28 Hannah Berner? Wait, was Taylor there?
23:29 Paige DeSorbo? No.
23:30 Hannah Berner? I wonder what she's up to.
23:32 Paige DeSorbo? I don't know, but they had prime rib and so I like ate some of that.
23:36 Hannah Berner? Did you get any finger food though?
23:38 Paige DeSorbo? They had, um, no, they, no, sometimes when you go like fancy, you're like, okay, but where are the chicken wings?
23:44 Hannah Berner? No, I hate it cuz I have to be able to hold it and talk and run around.
23:48 Paige DeSorbo? They did have these like fried lasagna balls though. And I was like, you guys knew I was coming.
23:52 Hannah Berner? Yeah, but this is the problem. If it's in front of me, I'm gonna eat it. And then if I eat it, I'm gonna make it everyone's problem. Cuz I'm gonna blow up the bathroom.
24:01 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah. God forbid you want like a carrot stick at a football game.
24:05 Hannah Berner? And sometimes like I feel like people judge me if I decide to go healthy for a second. And I'm like, it's not, it's not for me. It's for you.
24:12 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, well, it's not real, it's not authentic to you. And so we feel the energy where like.
24:17 Hannah Berner? When I'm home alone, I don't care if I have to run to the bathroom eight hundred times. When I'm in a public facility, especially where there's only one bathroom. These are things I factor in. There's a lot of, you know that meme when she's like adding, carrying the one, like that's what I do when I see food. I actually do have something to say about the bathroom.
24:33 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
24:34 Hannah Berner? Cuz I spend a lot of time in airport stalls.
24:36 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
24:37 Hannah Berner? Which you know is like Russian roulette. You don't know what you're gonna get. Have you ever gotten into a stall and it smells bad?
24:46 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
24:47 Hannah Berner? But you're like this, we just have to do it.
24:49 Paige DeSorbo? I have to pay.
24:50 Hannah Berner? But then you leave and the other person thinks that you're the one who dealt it. Like it's cuz of you. And do you ever wanna be like, it was like that before I came in?
24:59 Paige DeSorbo? You know what?
24:59 Hannah Berner? You know when the overall smell is just like stanky?
25:02 Paige DeSorbo? Yes, I, I know what you're talking about. And at an airport, no, I don't care.
25:11 Paige DeSorbo? Think it's me all day long? I, there's something about me when I step foot in an airport, I'm, I'm on alert, I'm pissed. I'm like, I'm all, I'm ready to yell at anyone who tries to like step to me. So like me, you thinking that I shit in the bathroom at LaGuardia, least of my problems.
25:32 Hannah Berner? No, but like, do you know when it's a different kind of smell, like something where some, something died deep inside them? Like it's not just like, oh, someone pooped.
25:39 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
25:40 Hannah Berner? Like sometimes these smells are crazy.
25:41 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
25:42 Hannah Berner? And I don't want a giggler to, then she's a ghost on the internet and she's like Hannah Berner. Killed someone in the bathroom and I went in after her.
25:51 Paige DeSorbo? I feel like a lot of gigglers though have seen you like in and around a stall.
25:55 Hannah Berner? That's where most gigglers see me, or I'm like talking in a stall. I also, when I was at the stand a lot doing spots, there's like, it's just a general bathroom. So when I have to go to the bathroom, just bathroom. So I would like to see someone, I'd be like, hi, nice to meet you. And then I'd be like, wanna go take a shit?
26:12 Paige DeSorbo? No, also bathroom meetings are so interesting because it's like, do you hug? And I'm like gross.
26:17 Hannah Berner? Our girls will come up to me when I'm washing my hands.
26:18 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, and I'm like, let me wash my hands first.
26:21 Hannah Berner? Also, everyone who sees me at the airport, they want a photo and I'm like, are you sure? Are you sure? Cause it's not good out in the streets.
26:27 Paige DeSorbo? Girl this weekend and we were talking about like how she met her boyfriend and she met him in the airport lounge. Which I'm like, so chic.
26:37 Hannah Berner? That's so chic. Cause you know he has points.
26:40 Paige DeSorbo? And like then I was thinking like, oh my god, my mom is right. You should go to the airport like dressed cute.
26:47 Hannah Berner? Okay, okay, wait, this is a whole new strategy. Go to the airport, dress cute. Go to Delta lounge or whatever your lounge is. Look lost. Even though it's like not even that big. And there's signs where the bathroom is.
26:59 Paige DeSorbo? She said he came up to her, like and just started chatting.
27:04 Hannah Berner? I'm obsessed. I mean, there's definitely moments where like you're sitting alone, they're sitting alone, we're all traveling.
27:09 Paige DeSorbo? And you're also like in the airport and you have a crush on everyone because you're like, what if we all go down? This could be our last time.
27:18 Hannah Berner? I had a crazy thing happen to me at the airport today. Well, I think the UN's in town or something.
27:24 Paige DeSorbo? When are they not? No, honestly.
27:27 Hannah Berner? Don't know what UN is.
27:28 Paige DeSorbo? Anytime you get in a car in New York City and there's traffic, the driver always says like, oh, it's because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, why don't they go home? It's so freaking annoying.
27:42 Hannah Berner? So I'm in Richmond at the airport trying to get to LaGuardia. And I love their southern accent, but this, the lady who was in charge comes, it's a small plane. She goes, I'm not gonna say this over the speaker because it's just not none of people's business.
28:02 Paige DeSorbo? But I wish you were dead.
28:04 Hannah Berner? But immediately when she's like, I'm not gonna say it's over speaker. I was like, if you're gonna say something, you have to say it with your whole chest. Like, why is it not on the speaker? And she goes.
28:11 Paige DeSorbo? This is on the plane?
28:13 Hannah Berner? No, this is right before we're getting on. And she goes, I just needed.
28:16 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, so who's she saying it to?
28:18 Hannah Berner? To all of us about to get on.
28:19 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
28:20 Hannah Berner? Like, you know, when they're like, make sure you consolidate or whatever, and I'm never listening. But she doesn't go on the speaker.
28:26 Paige DeSorbo? You could give a shit less about accessories every flight. I'm like, consolidate, consolidate. Like, all of a sudden, you're like, I love my purse.
28:36 Hannah Berner? No, because I think it's sexist. It's sexist that women who have a comfortable purse, we have to consolidate our purse? And men have their fucking stupid little fake wallets in their back pocket. It's like, no.
28:48 Paige DeSorbo? You know what? It actually is a gender issue.
28:50 Hannah Berner? And then I have to shove it into my backpack? No, okay.
28:53 Paige DeSorbo? Anyway, okay, keep going.
28:54 Hannah Berner? Since I'm in Torrey, we're only getting flight stories. So she goes, I'm not gonna say it's on speaker.
29:01 Hannah Berner? And she goes, apparently, I've been notified that we need, you guys have to show us your IDs again. Um, I have a theory while.
29:15 Hannah Berner? She goes, I have a theory while they're doing this, but I'm not gonna speak on that right now. And immediately, I'm like, wait, what?
29:23 Paige DeSorbo? Now I need to know the theory.
29:26 Hannah Berner? I wasn't worried, and now I'm worried. She goes, I have my theories for why they want to do this, but um, so you're gonna have to show us your IDs. Um, I think I know why, but they're, they're, anyway, so show your IDs first. We're just gonna have to do a special double check. I appreciate it. I look at Stuart, who's opening for me, and I go, what the fuck was that?
29:44 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
29:45 Hannah Berner? And she goes, what kind of conspiracy theory? And for a second, I'm like.
29:48 Paige DeSorbo? I need to get in contact with her.
29:50 Hannah Berner? Suddenly, I'm like, I'm not getting on this plane. Like, what? It's one thing if you're just like, hey, we're gonna check IDs. No one would care. The fact that you go, I have my theories.
29:59 Paige DeSorbo? I feel like that's happened before, where they're like, we're just double, like, when you are traveling internationally, they look at your passport again.
30:05 Hannah Berner? Also, it's possible that, like, they're just being double checking. The fact that she goes, I have my theories, I was like, I'm out. Like, I don't need your conspiracy theory YouTube shit. Say it, say it legally on the speaker, or don't say it at all. So we're all looking around suddenly, like, do we? Also, we start pointing fingers at each other. We're like, who the fuck are you? I'm looking around. I'm like, who is on this plane? So then I called Dez and I'm like, this might be the last time I speak to you. And he was like, the UN's in town, that's why. I'm like, then why did she make it into this emotional drama?
30:37 Paige DeSorbo? She's like, one of you is gonna try and take this plane down and I will figure out which one. It's like, lady.
30:44 Hannah Berner? I'm like, with planes, I don't fuck around. Don't shoot. This bitch went off script.
30:51 Hannah Berner? These darn New Yorkers, you know, they're always planning something. And she goes, and you know, there's a bad history. And I was like, I can't get into this now. So anyway, everything was fine, except same lady, we get on. I have nothing else going on in my life.
31:07 Paige DeSorbo? How animated you are. I'm like, wait, should we make this into a movie? You're so passionate.
31:13 Hannah Berner? We get on. And then towards the end, you know, they're always like, let me get your drinks. We're about to land. She goes, let me take your snacks.
31:22 Hannah Berner? What the fuck? What is going on in America right now that? You're taking my pretzels?
31:31 Paige DeSorbo? Did the UN tell you to do this? I have my theories, but why are you taking my?
31:38 Hannah Berner? Okay, you, I'm sitting there like with a huge bottle of water and she's taking this poor man's peanuts. And I'm like, let him have his peanut. But what's gonna happen? So anyway, the airports need to get it in check.
31:48 Paige DeSorbo? The most important question. I
31:52 Hannah Berner? She was blonde.
31:52 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
31:55 Paige DeSorbo? I was just gonna say, in my head, I know exactly what she looks like. Yes or no, had blonde hair?
32:05 Paige DeSorbo? Could have looked like any one of your friend's mom.
32:07 Hannah Berner? She was, yes, she was a mom.
32:09 Paige DeSorbo? But like, wanted to do a sassy updo, but really just had it clipped.
32:15 Hannah Berner? You know, it wasn't naturally down to
32:17 Paige DeSorbo? I know that woman.
32:18 Hannah Berner? And it was the kind of thing that, you know, she's been doing every day since nineteen seventy-five. So anyway, she was on one.
32:26 Hannah Berner? But also, I did, I did get random checked. I had a random check. It beeped. And low key, it's main character energy. Like, when you go through and it beeps and they're like, you didn't do anything wrong, but like, we just want to double check, like, your shoes.
32:36 Paige DeSorbo? I love knowing that there's something suspicious about me. I'm like, yeah, you can't read my mind. You don't know what I'm thinking or plotting.
32:44 Hannah Berner? Of everyone in this line, you're different. There's something about you that's different. And I'm like, thanks for choosing me. I'm pick me on the line.
32:51 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, God.
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35:14 Hannah Berner? The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.
35:21 Paige DeSorbo? Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.
35:30 Hannah Berner? It gives it.
35:31 Paige DeSorbo? It's sunny.
35:32 Hannah Berner? Honey. And mine's black.
35:35 Paige DeSorbo? Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.
35:45 Hannah Berner? Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit, not ruining the outfit. But also I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.
35:55 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.
35:59 Hannah Berner? It's not overpriced and we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering, like you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.
36:09 Paige DeSorbo? Very important because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no. And I love that it has these things for your hands because I, I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.
36:22 Hannah Berner? So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.
36:33 Paige DeSorbo? It's tough on cold, soft on you.
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37:51 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I love looking at the note of like our shared note because sometimes it's just so crazy. Like, just listen to this string of things. Coffee before a flight. New line, "pedophile." New line, songs I'm listening to.
38:05 Paige DeSorbo? So unhinged. "Pedophile?" Pipeline to songs I'm listening to? So insane. So insane. What is the "pedophile" line? I'm intrigued.
38:16 Hannah Berner? Is that your good question? I think it was.
38:20 Paige DeSorbo? Also not knowing?
38:23 Hannah Berner? I'm like, it could be so many things. Could have been so many things. See, I have a theory. Okay.
38:30 Hannah Berner? No, I was doing crowd work with a guy who had a mustache, and I was just going in on him. I was calling him all these names. And then at one point, I said, I was like, "You look like a pedophile." And then I ran out of stuff to say. So I said, "So what do you do for a living?" And he said, "I work with children." And the crowd like lost their minds.
38:45 Paige DeSorbo? Wow.
38:46 Hannah Berner? Um, but he was the, he was the good man, Susanna.
38:49 Paige DeSorbo? And it's like, you didn't, and he's not a paid actor. You couldn't script.
38:53 Hannah Berner? But you know what, actually, this couple that I was talking to, I called a pedophile. His girlfriend messaged me after the show and said, we actually like went through like a really hard time. There was like a death in the family. And this is the first time we laughed in a while. And she was like, thank you for calling him a pedophile. It really made my day.
39:12 Paige DeSorbo? And really.
39:13 Hannah Berner? And you know what? Comedy's alive. Comedy's alive and well. Um, can we, we didn't discuss. My, I'm like part of the Dancing with the Stars community now. Did you notice this? Did you notice this?
39:28 Paige DeSorbo? Where would I have noticed this?
39:30 Hannah Berner? Okay, you don't follow me on TikTok. I did one of.
39:33 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, I did see you did like a really.
39:35 Hannah Berner? It was like six minutes.
39:37 Paige DeSorbo? I was like, what is this ESPN? Like swipe. I liked it. I swiped.
39:44 Hannah Berner? You supported, but you.
39:45 Paige DeSorbo? But I like, I kept going.
39:47 Hannah Berner? Did you watch Dancing with the Stars?
39:48 Paige DeSorbo? I did. I watched the first episode.
39:49 Hannah Berner? Okay. So yeah, I had thoughts and I didn't realize it's such a tight knit community that like everyone was like commenting and stuff.
39:56 Paige DeSorbo? Dancing with the Stars is a well-oiled machine. They have a podcast discussing it.
40:01 Hannah Berner? Yep.
40:02 Paige DeSorbo? They have like, they have such a lore. It's been on for like fifteen years, I feel like.
40:07 Hannah Berner? It's been on for a long time, but I guess TikTok's making it really hot. But apparently one of the judges, um, wasn't there and everyone's like, she's really mean, Carrie Anne. And I was like, first of all, I do not want a nice judge.
40:23 Paige DeSorbo? Right.
40:23 Hannah Berner? We were raised on Simon Cowell. We were raised on like, he's going to read you to filth and we all have to sit back and be like, okay, that's, that's part of the competition. So like
40:36 Paige DeSorbo? Chad and Cowell would get cancelled now.
40:38 Hannah Berner? Well, now he's like, has to be nice and it's really funny.
40:40 Paige DeSorbo? Crazy.
40:41 Hannah Berner? He has, you see the words in his head, be like, don't say that, don't say that, don't say that. I would be the worst judge. I did judge, is it cake?
40:48 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, yeah.
40:49 Hannah Berner? It was heartbreaking. These people cooked for eight hours for my dumb ass to be like, there's cake.
40:55 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I'm obsessed with, um, project, like the reboot of Project Runway, like, cause the new season, La Roche is like one of the judges.
41:03 Hannah Berner? Oh, he's amazing.
41:04 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, I didn't watch the most recent episode. I just saw a clip of it. I can't wait to watch it, but Tyra Banks is on it and he like quoted, like, we were rooting for you.
41:14 Paige DeSorbo? Tyra like looked at him like not amused by it. And like you could tell the energy almost like, and like as someone who's been on reality TV, I like, sometimes people will say things to you and you'll be like, okay, but also I was twenty five and like I had a camera in my face, you know?
41:32 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
41:32 Paige DeSorbo? But that's such an iconic like line. She wasn't, whatever, but you could just tell she was not like, but she laughed a little, but I could tell.
41:41 Hannah Berner? Yes.
41:42 Paige DeSorbo? How she felt.
41:42 Hannah Berner? Well, also fashion people, they take themselves seriously, but La Roche, I love how free he is out there. Like he's not, he's saying everything.
41:50 Paige DeSorbo? He's making the whole show. He is the star. You, you're only interested in what his opinion is. Honestly, sometimes like I'll test myself, like I'll say something and I'll be like, okay, if La Roche agrees with me, like, this is my shining moment. This is me in my bed by myself.
42:08 Hannah Berner? Can I manifest it? I think you're gonna be a judge on Project Runway.
42:11 Paige DeSorbo? I would love that. And then he, then we have like a difference of opinion and I'm like, and this is why I'll never make it in this town.
42:17 Hannah Berner? Like, or it's good that you have a different opinion than him. My thing is if, this is me as a judge.
42:24 Hannah Berner? Did you try? You're perfect. You're literally, do you have a family at home? They love you. I love you. You're perfect. You're, for my job to tell someone to like ruin their dreams, you know, they woke up that morning being like, I hope I do well. And then I'm the one that tells them they didn't do well.
42:39 Paige DeSorbo? I think I'd be like, it's just not for me.
42:44 Paige DeSorbo? I'm so obsessed with it for you.
42:46 Hannah Berner? I'm so much of a people pleaser. It could be like the ugliest thing and I'll be like, your vision is like next level. There are people, but this is the thing. I'm excited for Carrie Anne. I want to see her read people to filth.
42:58 Paige DeSorbo? Um, is Dancing with the Stars, the way like American Idol?
43:02 Hannah Berner? It's once a week.
43:02 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, it's once a week. I thought for some reason, I thought it was like twice.
43:05 Hannah Berner? Seems like years.
43:07 Paige DeSorbo? So they perform once a week and then they, it takes them a whole week. They get to practice a whole week for a new routine.
43:14 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
43:14 Paige DeSorbo? That is a quick turnaround.
43:16 Hannah Berner? It is, but I think they have like a couple of weeks training beforehand to like get ahead on some of the technique.
43:22 Paige DeSorbo? You would have to because.
43:25 Hannah Berner? Everyone's obsessed with Robert Irwin, the Australian.
43:28 Paige DeSorbo? And all the Mormon ha-
43:31 Hannah Berner? Whitney?
43:31 Paige DeSorbo? What's going on in Salt Lake City that all the ballroom dancers come from there?
43:35 Hannah Berner? So.
43:36 Paige DeSorbo? Like in Utah.
43:36 Hannah Berner? So because they're so religious and they don't drink, all they do is.
43:40 Paige DeSorbo? Dance.
43:40 Hannah Berner? Dance.
43:43 Hannah Berner? And they're sober, so they were like, we just would like shake our asses drunk. They're sober remembering choreography.
43:49 Paige DeSorbo? Interesting.
43:49 Hannah Berner? I heard that like Mormons are amazing at musical theater. Like they love musical theater because that, they don't have TVs. So the kids.
43:58 Paige DeSorbo? Wait, that's the Amish.
44:01 Paige DeSorbo? They're like, what?
44:02 Hannah Berner? Like those Mormons, they like, they put their hair in braids and then they sing choir songs. So they're singing choir songs all the time.
44:09 Paige DeSorbo? Got it. So they're just like natural born performers.
44:12 Hannah Berner? Listening to Nelly, they were like. And I'm singing.
44:18 Paige DeSorbo? Okay, because I was just like, what is this weird pipeline of like Utah and ballroom dancing?
44:25 Hannah Berner? I'm.
44:26 Paige DeSorbo? Have you ever come across a TikTok video of like, I was just gonna say like mini people, children?
44:34 Paige DeSorbo? But they literally look like mini adults.
44:36 Hannah Berner? Any tiny dolls?
44:38 Paige DeSorbo? Mini dolls.
44:39 Hannah Berner? Children.
44:40 Paige DeSorbo? Ballroom dancing?
44:42 Hannah Berner? No, but that's adorable.
44:44 Paige DeSorbo? It looks AI because they look like little men and women, but they're not.
44:50 Hannah Berner? I feel like that's abusive. Like, don't make children ballroom dance.
44:53 Paige DeSorbo? Also, I got really obsessed with ballroom dancers taking their hair out. Have you ever seen a ballroom dancer wash her hair after a night of ballroom dancing?
45:03 Hannah Berner? No. Do they have a wig or something?
45:06 Paige DeSorbo? No, I'm not kidding. They like shellac their, it's hard. Like, they can tap it and like knock on it and then like them taking it down and it's.
45:15 Hannah Berner? All I remember from my friends who were dancers was that they had to like gel their hair and they'd have like tons of sparkles and stuff.
45:21 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
45:22 Hannah Berner? And they love their like Leos and leotards and stuff. And all of it was really scary to me.
45:27 Paige DeSorbo? I wish step dancing ever come across your desk as a child.
45:30 Hannah Berner? I had a friend. He was the Irish step dancer of Parksville, Brooklyn. And like she would pull it out at parties. Des, you know, Des could do it.
45:41 Paige DeSorbo? Like River Dancing? Like every time the commercial would come on TV, like River Dancing.
45:46 Hannah Berner? Wait, so apparently it isn't true, but I was told that like women or the Irish weren't allowed to dance in certain like British bars or something. So that's how they would dance so that the bartenders couldn't see that they were dancing.
46:02 Paige DeSorbo? That seems like a myth, a limerick, if you will. That seems like not true.
46:09 Hannah Berner? Did you just say limerick? You're so cute. Um, so yeah, it's basically dancing where you don't use your upper body.
46:15 Paige DeSorbo? No, I was obsessed with it when I was little.
46:17 Hannah Berner? Keep their like face, like they weren't dancing.
46:20 Paige DeSorbo? And I don't understand what the, what the correlation was to their like really curly wigs, but I was here for it.
46:25 Hannah Berner? Hmm. Maybe that was their hair.
46:28 Paige DeSorbo? It was, no, no. They would put these like massive, like hair pieces that were like massive. And it was honestly like RuPaul's Drag Race before that was a thing.
46:38 Hannah Berner? You know what this is? The next ten page Chinese things. River dance.
46:44 Hannah Berner? That's what you get for putting ideas in my head.
46:46 Paige DeSorbo? Honestly, I have always wanted to have like super curly hair, so like I'll do it if I can do the hair look.
46:52 Hannah Berner? I feel like the footwork is a good workout, probably.
46:55 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
46:56 Hannah Berner? Um, but it is funny when girls will just break it out like at the bar when they're twenty seven.
47:01 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, I just always thought it was like so interesting.
47:04 Hannah Berner? How close can you, I don't want to expose you, but how close can you get to getting into a split?
47:09 Paige DeSorbo? Not close.
47:11 Hannah Berner? Okay, I've never like, I'm not, people don't even know I'm trying to do a split.
47:14 Paige DeSorbo? I know that I can get closer than you, but not close.
47:17 Hannah Berner? If we could do splits, I'd be in a split right now.
47:20 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
47:20 Hannah Berner? Like I would, mid-conversation, I'd be like, you wanna see something?
47:24 Paige DeSorbo? I'd have a different job, probably.
47:33 Paige DeSorbo? I'd be the Cardi B of podcasting.
47:38 Hannah Berner? No, like, I can't even do the worm that well, and look how much I do it. Imagine if I was good at the splits.
47:44 Hannah Berner? Anyway.
47:44 Paige DeSorbo? Like when people bust out a split at like a wedding.
47:46 Hannah Berner? It blows my mind every time.
47:47 Paige DeSorbo? Here's the thing, though, if someone does a split at my wedding.
47:50 Hannah Berner? No.
47:51 Paige DeSorbo? I'm not the vibe.
47:53 Hannah Berner? That's worse than them wearing white.
47:54 Paige DeSorbo? Not the vibe.
47:55 Hannah Berner? If you do a split at someone else's wedding, you wanna fuck her husband.
47:59 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, I would just be like, stop.
48:02 Paige DeSorbo? Unless it, actually, oh my god, I was just about to be so misogynistic.
48:06 Hannah Berner? You said unless it was a gay man?
48:07 Paige DeSorbo? No, I was gonna say if a guy does a split at my wedding, like, okay. But if a girl does a split at my wedding, I'm like, it's not about you. But I just realized like that was misogynistic and it caught myself.
48:18 Hannah Berner? Yeah, and that was a learning moment.
48:20 Paige DeSorbo? No one can split at my wedding.
48:22 Hannah Berner? Equal rights on this podcast.
48:24 Paige DeSorbo? And it's none.
48:25 Hannah Berner? But also I feel like people who do squits, splits, they like have been able to do it since childhood. Like it's like you're born with it. Like maybe you're born with it, maybe it's maybe.
48:36 Paige DeSorbo? It also seems genetic.
48:38 Hannah Berner? Yeah. The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.
48:47 Paige DeSorbo? Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine, and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.
48:55 Hannah Berner? It gives it.
48:57 Paige DeSorbo? It's honey.
48:57 Hannah Berner? Honey. And mine's black.
49:00 Paige DeSorbo? Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.
49:10 Hannah Berner? Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.
49:13 Paige DeSorbo? It's the outfit.
49:14 Hannah Berner? Not ruining the outfit.
49:15 Paige DeSorbo? Right.
49:15 Hannah Berner? But also, I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.
49:20 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.
49:24 Hannah Berner? It's not overpriced.
49:26 Paige DeSorbo? No.
49:27 Hannah Berner? And we love giving the Giggler's a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like, you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.
49:34 Paige DeSorbo? Which is very important, because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no.
49:40 Hannah Berner? No.
49:40 Paige DeSorbo? And I love that it has these things for your hands, because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.
49:48 Hannah Berner? So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit Columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.
49:58 Paige DeSorbo? It's tough on cold, soft on you.
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51:44 Paige DeSorbo? Something funny? I'm going to Harvard this week.
51:52 Paige DeSorbo? I'm going to
51:52 Hannah Berner? Like it's hard?
51:54 Paige DeSorbo? Harvard.
51:55 Hannah Berner? Law?
51:56 Paige DeSorbo? No, just, just regular Harvard.
51:59 Hannah Berner? Okay.
51:59 Paige DeSorbo? And speaking to their, one of their business classes. And I literally, I literally got the email and I was like, why? Do you guys want me?
52:10 Paige DeSorbo? And then I thought, let me throw the craziest fit.
52:14 Hannah Berner? Wait, I'm obsessed with this for you because
52:19 Hannah Berner? First you wrote a book, which like no one thought
52:21 Paige DeSorbo? No one saw that coming.
52:22 Hannah Berner? No one saw that coming. Now you're just rubbing it in people's faces.
52:26 Paige DeSorbo? Getting under people's skin.
52:27 Hannah Berner? Yeah, now this is just petty.
52:29 Paige DeSorbo? Now I'm like, sorry. Let me speak to a business class.
52:32 Hannah Berner? Wait, you're gonna get an honorary degree?
52:35 Paige DeSorbo? Well, hopefully, because currently I don't have one.
52:38 Hannah Berner? No, you do have a degree.
52:39 Paige DeSorbo? How am I gonna go into Harvard and be like, I don't, I didn't go anywhere?
52:43 Hannah Berner? You went to college.
52:44 Paige DeSorbo? I know, but now it's not a thing. And I feel like I need to be upfront and authentic with them and tell them
52:50 Hannah Berner? You're like, look.
52:50 Paige DeSorbo? I don't belong to any college anywhere as of recent.
52:53 Hannah Berner? But you're an inspiration to people who can't read.
53:04 Hannah Berner? I've gotten a couple of messages of people being like, hey, I know you like making fun of Paige for not being able to read or write or spell. But it actually comes off mean and I go, she told me she can't read. I'm literally just repeating what she said to me.
53:17 Paige DeSorbo? Never in our almost 10 year of friendship, have you ever said anything to me where I've been like, harsh? Like ever, like hurt my feelings because it's most.
53:30 Paige DeSorbo? Of the time accurate. Sorry, telling the truth is not a crime.
53:35 Hannah Berner? Also, this means I came up with something to try to make you giggle.
53:38 Paige DeSorbo? And also, it's funny.
53:40 Hannah Berner? And also, you're a New York Times bestseller. Wait, so what do you, is it fashion?
53:46 Paige DeSorbo? No. I don't quite know. You're like, yeah, just come, you're gonna speak. I think that's just like a Q and A.
53:53 Hannah Berner? Yes. Oh, I love a Q and A. Cause one thing about us, we did a Q and A last week. We love to talk about ourselves.
54:00 Paige DeSorbo? There's no topic I'm more informed on than myself.
54:06 Hannah Berner? We know.
54:06 Paige DeSorbo? My dreams.
54:07 Hannah Berner? We know. Every now and then, there'll be like a random Q and A person, what do they call them, the one who asks the question? Yes. And they are nervous because they don't ever like talk.
54:16 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
54:17 Hannah Berner? And I always have to look at them and I go, watch us go.
54:20 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
54:20 Hannah Berner? Like you, actually, you don't even have to ask a question, we'll just start talking.
54:23 Paige DeSorbo? If someone comes up to us and we're in a certain setting and they say, hey, we need to fill blank number of minutes. Me and Hannah go, beyond easy.
54:33 Hannah Berner? We actually been saving, we have it in our back pocket, we've been saving some material for this.
54:37 Paige DeSorbo? Twenty minutes, right now, start the timer. Do you remember when we did like the CBS Morning Show and they like, we were just going rogue?
54:44 Hannah Berner? Oh, yeah. And then they were like, I guess you guys can stay for another segment because we didn't hit one question about what you're promoting.
54:50 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, we can do that. We can do the show right now. Yeah. What are the segments? Yeah, let's, just fuck it, we'll do it live. Just go, turn it on.
54:58 Hannah Berner? I do think, though, it's because we're together. I feel like if I was alone, I'd be like, let's have some self-control.
55:03 Paige DeSorbo? There are times where we're like in an interview and they'll ask a question.
55:06 Hannah Berner? We enable each other.
55:07 Paige DeSorbo? And in my head, I'm like, if I go first, I'll quite literally die. And that's when my head whips over to you and I'm like, Hannah, why don't you take this one?
55:15 Hannah Berner? Actually, we love getting interviewed together.
55:18 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, because it's easy to bounce off.
55:20 Hannah Berner? Speaking of, by the time this comes out, our Hot Ones vs. is going to drop.
55:26 Hannah Berner? Do you have anything to say?
55:27 Paige DeSorbo? I mean, I have a lot to say.
55:29 Hannah Berner? And we don't want to give anything away, but did you have fun?
55:32 Paige DeSorbo? I had a good time. Do you want to know when I didn't have a good time? Later that evening. I did not have a fun time. I thought I had to go to the hospital.
55:43 Hannah Berner? So you did it before, but like with a lot of people.
55:46 Paige DeSorbo? I did it before, but it wasn't, I didn't have to eat every single one. And we ate, well, how many were there? Five, six?
55:55 Hannah Berner? A lot. Cause I did it once before where it was just me. So I had to go in and they were like, don't schedule anything after this, cause you're not gonna feel okay.
56:03 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
56:03 Hannah Berner? And I, I was so nervous and scared, but you came, you came in very nonchalant.
56:08 Paige DeSorbo? I was like, this is fine.
56:09 Hannah Berner? You're like, I had sushi with wasabi yesterday. I can eat this.
56:14 Paige DeSorbo? I'll be okay. And I was like, okay.
56:16 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
56:17 Paige DeSorbo? Do, doing it.
56:18 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
56:19 Paige DeSorbo? But then it wasn't until like two hours later that I think my stomach had digested.
56:23 Hannah Berner? And the agita came.
56:24 Paige DeSorbo? Why don't you hold the fucking phone? This is the worst thing ever. And I actually thought at one point I was gonna have to go to the emergency room. My asshole was on fire. I had to get baby powder. Like, I'm not kidding. It was, I was like, this has never happened before in the history of any human. I literally forgot I had done hot ones earlier. That's how bad it was. I was like, no, my ins, I'm dying. Like my organs are shutting down. They're trying to come out of my body. Cause they're done. They're absolutely done with me. I called my mom.
56:56 Hannah Berner? See for me, that's a do's day.
56:59 Paige DeSorbo? Anyone with irritable bowel, I feel for them.
57:03 Hannah Berner? I feel like, as long as you're like, do it quickly. It's like, it's like puke and rally. I do diarrhea and rally.
57:09 Paige DeSorbo? Not to mention, the moment it started hitting me. I was in an Uber and my seatbelt was on and I was like, something's not, something's not right. Why is the seatbelt so tight? Take the seatbelt off and I was like, my pants are so tight. And then I like pull my pants and I'm like. You gotta drive faster. I'm gonna die.
57:34 Hannah Berner? You're so good at puking in Ubers, but you haven't done.
57:37 Paige DeSorbo? No, I haven't shit in an Uber yet. You know, I'm working my way up to it. Maybe when I hit thirty five.
57:44 Hannah Berner? Which reminds me, my favorite thing about tour. Is the Uber drivers in different states. They really, they come with a story. They, sometimes they come with pets.
57:54 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
57:55 Hannah Berner? They come with.
57:55 Paige DeSorbo? A lot of women.
57:57 Hannah Berner? A lot of women, which I love. Um, and then, then some people where I'm like, how did? Some of them have crazy stories.
58:06 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
58:06 Hannah Berner? But just in New York, like no one talks to you.
58:08 Paige DeSorbo? Which is nice.
58:09 Hannah Berner? Where when I get dropped off in Richmond.
58:11 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
58:12 Hannah Berner? I, I have a new best friend immediately. They're like, you're in my car.
58:15 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
58:15 Hannah Berner? Let's talk. Um, and I'm practicing like lying and saying I do marketing, but I'm so bad at it. I keep getting myself in kerfuffles.
58:24 Paige DeSorbo? Whenever someone asks me what I do, that's not like, like a dad, like I'll be someone and I'll be like a dad. Why? I, my first reaction is to laugh.
58:36 Paige DeSorbo? I just start laughing. I go, oh, just like different stuff. I can never, I don't know if it's like my own internal, like I'm embarrassed or like.
58:46 Hannah Berner? Do you know what you say now? I'm a professor at Harvard. Google it.
58:48 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like, actually I perform at Harvard. I perform for their business classes.
58:53 Hannah Berner? And I have an Uber and I, they have to like get me to the stage door sometimes. But they don't know and they're like, can I just drop you off at this theater? And I'm like, no, you gotta go to the back. And then it's a whole thing. Um, but I've, I've made some really good friends along the way and occasionally if we get really close.
59:08 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
59:09 Hannah Berner? I'm like, do you wanna come to the show tonight?
59:11 Paige DeSorbo? That's so nice of you.
59:13 Hannah Berner? No, but I have a couple of tickets sometimes, extra.
59:15 Paige DeSorbo? See, you wanna know here why, why we're a little bit different?
59:20 Hannah Berner? You go, I would, over my dead body.
59:22 Paige DeSorbo? Over my dead fucking body. I'm way more scared of like being killed than you are.
59:31 Hannah Berner? See, I like attention. I don't care what form.
59:33 Paige DeSorbo? Walking down the street, I'm way more a- alert and anxious than I think you than. I think maybe because you know that you could fight back. Is what it is.
59:44 Hannah Berner? I want someone to come for me. I remember once I was walking with my friend and there were these like two frat guys behind us and it was dark like in the East Village. And they were talking loud, like clearly trying to like freak us out. And they were drunk and my friend was scared and I looked at her, I said, I've been fucking waiting for this moment. I, I hope they come for us, cause I will, I've been, I have so much rage that I want to to deal with this and I will save your life. And then they didn't, cause they could sense that I, I was ready to go.
1:00:14 Paige DeSorbo? And I think they can sense that.
1:00:16 Hannah Berner? And we have to normalize female rage. Also, what I learned up, growing around, walking around New York. First of all, we're scared. Like I never, you know, when you, you would like escape at night, like I never escaped from my house at night in New York, like.
1:00:29 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, like sneaking out.
1:00:30 Hannah Berner? Sneak out, yeah.
1:00:32 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like, what? When was I escaping at night? The suburbs are not jail, okay? We would sneak out, we weren't escaping.
1:00:42 Hannah Berner? Like, we're not sneaking out, like, I'm like, I'm not, I'm gonna die. Like, you just know your boundaries, but when you like, take this up for every day to school. No, a hundred percent.
1:00:52 Paige DeSorbo? A Taco Bell parking lot is not where a young sixteen year old girl should ever be at three AM.
1:00:57 Hannah Berner? Sonic, that's where everyone was hanging out in the burbs apparently. But I, my advice to everyone is when you're walking and you, there's like scary people around you or you sense like a man staring at you. You keep your head high.
1:01:09 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:01:10 Hannah Berner? And you look slightly angry. And that's what I do, I don't make eye contact, I keep my head high. And you just look like you're, something smells slightly bad. And they'll make comments, they'll be like, oh, what are you upset about? I'm like, you.
1:01:22 Paige DeSorbo? That is such good advice.
1:01:24 Hannah Berner? Don't put your head down and look shy and scared. Head up, chin up, and you're focused. Also, I'm crazier than you bitch. As my wise friend, Ali Colbert, once said, if it gets really bad, just shit yourself.
1:01:39 Paige DeSorbo? I actually think if something really did get really bad, I would pee.
1:01:43 Hannah Berner? Pee? Who? Golf? You're crazier than them.
1:01:46 Paige DeSorbo? Interesting that you say head up because I feel like I'm always like looking down.
1:01:51 Hannah Berner? No.
1:01:51 Paige DeSorbo? Like my gaze is always at the sidewalk.
1:01:53 Hannah Berner? No, head up.
1:01:54 Paige DeSorbo? And I'm not making eye contact, but I'm swift.
1:01:57 Hannah Berner? Yeah, you're swift. You're good. I just always.
1:01:59 Paige DeSorbo? She's getting in and out.
1:01:59 Hannah Berner? You wanna have a confidence to you and you also wanna look not like you're trying to intimidate them more like you've just had a lot. Like you've had a day and you don't need anything else.
1:02:08 Paige DeSorbo? Well, remember it was on Tik. It wasn't, it didn't originate on TikTok. Someone did like a study and they asked like criminals, what are things you avoid?
1:02:19 Hannah Berner? Ooh.
1:02:19 Paige DeSorbo? And it was people that look like they're, they have a purpose, like they know where they're going.
1:02:25 Hannah Berner? Yes.
1:02:25 Paige DeSorbo? They look organized, they're put together, like they're more alert.
1:02:29 Hannah Berner? Yeah.
1:02:29 Paige DeSorbo? Than like.
1:02:30 Hannah Berner? It's like, it's like sharks like smelling fear kinda thing. Um, but I do have to say on the road, my favorite thing is I find like a random luncheonette or a diner. And if the waitress knows who I am. Luncheonette?
1:02:44 Paige DeSorbo? Sorry, she is that girl.
1:02:47 Hannah Berner? Okay, what do you think diners feel about luncheonettes? They're like, okay, why did she get the cool name?
1:02:53 Paige DeSorbo? Luncheonettes are like, oh cute, you're a diner? We do lunch in at. Like what is a luncheonette?
1:03:00 Hannah Berner? A luncheonette is a gay diner.
1:03:02 Paige DeSorbo? I'm just like, I'm obsessed with luncheonette.
1:03:05 Hannah Berner? A luncheonette is a diner that thinks it's better than you.
1:03:07 Paige DeSorbo? I'm naming my daughter Luncheonette.
1:03:12 Paige DeSorbo? Are you kidding?
1:03:13 Hannah Berner? Cat needs to be Luncheonette.
1:03:14 Paige DeSorbo? Lucy Luncheonette Burner?
1:03:16 Hannah Berner? Luncheonette wears those Amazon socks that have curls on them.
1:03:19 Paige DeSorbo? That's an amazing cat name.
1:03:21 Hannah Berner? Luncheonette?
1:03:23 Paige DeSorbo? Stop, it's so cute.
1:03:25 Hannah Berner? Luncheonette. So when I'm at my luncheonette, if the waitress knows who I am, which you would surprise, not that often. No, but when she does and she's like, oh my God, what are you here for? And I go, I have a show tonight. You know, they have like a long, they've been working, they've been up, these girls, when I'm at brunch, they've been up since six AM. And if they're free that night, then I'll be like, I'll drop your name. So that's like fun.
1:03:46 Paige DeSorbo? Very nice.
1:03:46 Hannah Berner? That's fun for me.
1:03:47 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:03:48 Hannah Berner? Cause it's like, but then sometimes I'm like, did they even wanna go? Did I just force them to go to my show?
1:03:52 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:03:53 Hannah Berner? And then you leave.
1:03:54 Paige DeSorbo? They're like, no.
1:03:55 Hannah Berner? Thank you. I'm like, come to my show, ha ha. Um, so anyway, that's what I've been up to. Well, the story is I'm listening to Nashville. Like I downloaded the songs.
1:04:08 Paige DeSorbo? Oh, sorry. Wait, you forget that. You forgot that in the beginning of the pod when you confessed your love for the show. You forgot that you also downloaded. What did you put them on a CD? I mean, what? There's an album?
1:04:24 Hannah Berner? I I have to listen to music on the flight, so I'm not stuck with like my own thoughts and I.
1:04:30 Paige DeSorbo? You're still like so against entertainment on the flight.
1:04:33 Hannah Berner? Well, I'm taking some small flights that don't have entertainment.
1:04:36 Paige DeSorbo? I just can't believe you don't have an iPad. Like how you run your life without an iPad.
1:04:42 Hannah Berner? Paige, what am I supposed to watch if they don't if they don't have a TV on the plane?
1:04:46 Paige DeSorbo? You bring your freaking iPad. You download all the seasons. You get your normal headphones.
1:04:52 Hannah Berner? I still try to remember the nineties. Okay. When you just all you had was your little CD player and and all the CDs. Um, I downloaded a wrong song and love like mine. From season one, highly recommend.
1:05:07 Paige DeSorbo? Do you ever have moments in school where you were like?
1:05:11 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah, I'm never gonna need this. So like, I literally don't care.
1:05:14 Hannah Berner? Dez has like a whole bit about how um calculators were so insane. And now we have like calculators everywhere.
1:05:23 Paige DeSorbo? I just feel like I had like a foresight. As a child, like, cool, I know I have to learn this, but I'm literally never gonna need this. So I don't like deep down, don't care. And like in my life, I I truly none, I never needed any of that stuff. I feel like that's you with technology. You're like, nope, don't care. Never gonna need it. That's for you guys, not for me staying in my lane. Wired headphones, please.
1:05:49 Hannah Berner? No, I flew American Airlines and I was like, where's the Delta headphones? And they were like, bitch, you're in the wrong place. I go, if I don't get my Delta headphones right now.
1:05:55 Paige DeSorbo? American Airlines. I'm pretty sure on the backs of their seat have a little holder for your iPad. Or is that United? One of them.
1:06:04 Hannah Berner? I don't know.
1:06:05 Paige DeSorbo? Where there it's like you could put your iPad in.
1:06:07 Hannah Berner? Am I gonna be one of those moms who like doesn't let their kid look at a screen till they're like seventeen?
1:06:15 Paige DeSorbo? I don't know.
1:06:16 Hannah Berner? Cause I
1:06:17 Paige DeSorbo? The type of mom you're going to be, honestly, I can't even make wagers yet because it's too soon. But like, it could go in so many different directions and I can't wait to see. Cause like, there is a world where I have a conspiracy that you become like
1:06:32 Hannah Berner? My mom?
1:06:33 Paige DeSorbo? The crunchiest granola, organic, like, sorry, my kids don't have sugar, even though it's Halloween. Mom. Or there's a world where you're like, they're self-sufficient.
1:06:45 Hannah Berner? Like the eighties.
1:06:46 Paige DeSorbo? They're putting themselves in the bath at, on their own, and they're only two years old. And then they have practice at seven AM and they have to wake themselves up. Like, there is a world where you're that.
1:06:56 Hannah Berner? And you know what? I dabble every day in my head between that.
1:06:59 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:06:59 Hannah Berner? Um, I have to say one of Dez's jokes, that's really funny that I think you'd agree with.
1:07:05 Paige DeSorbo? Okay.
1:07:05 Hannah Berner? He jokes about how, so I haven't seen him in a week, so I kind of miss him. This is so fucking gross.
1:07:10 Paige DeSorbo? Where is he?
1:07:10 Hannah Berner? He's coming tonight from Vegas.
1:07:13 Paige DeSorbo? How are you gonna shave?
1:07:19 Hannah Berner? This is such a fucking good point. We have to wrap this pod up.
1:07:23 Paige DeSorbo? No, literally.
1:07:23 Hannah Berner? We have to wrap it up.
1:07:24 Paige DeSorbo? Who knows when's the last time you did? And like, ah, but I know that. I know that there's no way. You preemptively shaved for your husband to come home.
1:07:34 Hannah Berner? No.
1:07:35 Paige DeSorbo? No.
1:07:36 Hannah Berner? His joke is, what in the American system made us go up, like, in times tables at twelve? They were like, and we're good here. Like, what about thirteen?
1:07:47 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:07:47 Hannah Berner? What about fourteen? Why did we stop at twelve?
1:07:51 Hannah Berner? I mean, I guess it's because like inches, but like, we're the only, we're the only country that uses inches. Everyone else uses centimeters. I just feel like, this is why we're behind.
1:08:02 Paige DeSorbo? Sorry, my brain is
1:08:04 Paige DeSorbo? I'm gonna just say it here now.
1:08:06 Hannah Berner? Okay.
1:08:07 Paige DeSorbo? Don't talk to me.
1:08:11 Paige DeSorbo? About feet, inches, millimeters, kilograms, quarts, tablespoons, tablespoons.
1:08:19 Hannah Berner? Isn't that a kind of crystal?
1:08:20 Paige DeSorbo? Anything. Don't talk to me in that rhetoric or tone.
1:08:25 Hannah Berner? Well, also, as an Italian grandma, they just go put a little bit in.
1:08:29 Paige DeSorbo? Like eyeball it.
1:08:30 Hannah Berner? Put a pinch of olive oil.
1:08:31 Paige DeSorbo? Honestly, the amount of times my mom said, and I eyeball it.
1:08:33 Hannah Berner? Eyeball it, eyeball it, figure it out.
1:08:36 Paige DeSorbo? That's all you need.
1:08:37 Hannah Berner? Also, yeah, no, no one's measuring things. When was the last time you measured something?
1:08:42 Paige DeSorbo? It's not for me. I just like.
1:08:44 Hannah Berner? Oh, so you can get prepackaged things?
1:08:46 Paige DeSorbo? Or like, or like, yeah, or people are like, how many ounces are in a blah blah blah? How about you shut the fuck up?
1:08:52 Hannah Berner? Also, the fact that we have to drink like ounces of something is crazy. Like, no one's actually, you remember they tried to put it on the drinks?
1:09:02 Paige DeSorbo? Yeah.
1:09:02 Hannah Berner? To be like, what, how many ounces have you drank? That's, it's controlling.
1:09:07 Paige DeSorbo? No, I just like that. It makes me, it's me.
1:09:10 Hannah Berner? Very true.
1:09:12 Paige DeSorbo? It's rude.
1:09:13 Hannah Berner? The only thing I like to drink a lot is my Dunkin' refresher.
1:09:17 Paige DeSorbo? I actually don't give this one enough credit.
1:09:18 Hannah Berner? The mango pineapple. Well, that's mine that I like to have with not too much concentrate and green tea. When I'm on tour and I'm like really sleepy at like 5:00 PM, I love a Dunkin' refresher. It just makes me feel awake and hydrated, because I can't be drinking coffee at that time. I'll never go to sleep.
1:09:35 Paige DeSorbo? You put me on to the mango.
1:09:37 Hannah Berner? Mango pineapple is really good. I'm going to say something controversial about New Yorkers. I think we all are eating the same four meals, even though there's billions of restaurants around. And that's why when your friend goes, hey, I'm visiting New York, what restaurants should I go to? And I'm like, I ordered from Chipotle.
1:09:54 Paige DeSorbo? I'm like, unless.
1:09:55 Hannah Berner? And do you know why?
1:09:56 Paige DeSorbo? You go to P O P O and just get chicken and rice, I can't help you. I'm like, I have no idea.
1:10:00 Hannah Berner? But look, we're relatable.
1:10:02 Paige DeSorbo? And authentic. And authenticity is key.
1:10:05 Hannah Berner? Is the key to the world. Thank you guys so much.
1:10:09 Paige DeSorbo? And thanks to Dunkin' for making this episode possible.
1:10:18 Speaker 09 Hi, it's me, Your Gutters. I want to start by saying I'm fine. Everything is totally fine. There's just, there's a lot of debris up here and I've been managing it mostly on my own for about eight months now. And I just thought maybe you could find someone on Angie to clean me up. You don't have to make it a whole thing. It doesn't need to be a whole thing. I just, I could really use your help.
1:10:43 Paige DeSorbo? Your Gutters have waited long enough. Find a pro at Angie.com.
1:10:48 Hannah Berner? Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.
1:10:53 Paige DeSorbo? If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit SiriusXM.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.
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