Giggling about bird theory, boyfriend olympics, and justice

Hannah took a risk at Paige's Easter brunch. Bottomless Apps for $9.99 at Buffalo Wild Wings means bottomless yaps for us. @buffalowildwings #BWWPartner

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Cozy season is upon us, which is one of my favorites. I love a chill, crisp morning and I love opening the window and like feeling it on my face. I also love when it's raining and you're having a movie marathon. And that's why you also need Bombas to make your comfiest fall staples. Go with all your favorite fall things. So you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year. Like the new suede moccasins are perfect for fall with cushy soles, a sheerling lining, and water-resistant suede. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to somebody facing housing insecurity. Bombas truly is the best and I've replaced all my socks with Bombas. Head over to Bombas.com/gigglysquad and use code GIGGLYSQUAD for 20% off your first purchase.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash giggly squad, code giggly squad at checkout.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Like so many people have my location.

• 1:00Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 1:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, oh, you got home, you're, you're calling the FBI.

• 1:08Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 1:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:25Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:38Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social, like I love everyone, but like.

• 1:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:42Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:56Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 2:03Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 2:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 2:07Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 2:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a T-shirt for real.

• 2:13Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 2:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:26Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:28Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you. This episode is sponsored by cars.com. I feel like your car says a lot about you. It's transportation, storage, and honestly, kind of a personality test. Maybe you need something for weekend road trips, something you can actually parallel park in the city, or just enough trunk space for an emergency outfit and backup shoes. Personally, I like options and I'm very specific. So this is where cars.com comes in. Cars.com has the tools that make your car shopping way less overwhelming. With more than 200 advanced search filters, you can narrow things down based on what actually matters to you. Deal badges help show how fairly a vehicle is priced, so you can browse with more confidence and fewer chaotic tabs open, which I think we can all appreciate.

• 3:28Hannah Berner?

  Start your search with cars.com. Where to next?

• 3:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Gary, fix your wifi.

• 3:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Manifest that shit.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  We can't be managed.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:47Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my gobbledygook gigglers. We had an incredible family weekend.

• 3:53Paige DeSorbo?

  This was our first holiday together.

• 3:55Hannah Berner?

  My family wasn't there.

• 3:56Paige DeSorbo?

  But I'm just saying, like, in terms of us.

• 3:59Hannah Berner?

  I feel like every day is a holiday with you.

• 4:00Paige DeSorbo?

  That's true.

• 4:01Hannah Berner?

  But, um, how'd I do?

• 4:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You did amazing.

• 4:04Hannah Berner?

  I didn't get a good photo of my outfit, so I didn't want to post it. Because, look, you guys, if I get the wrong angle, I didn't want you guys to get the wrong impression. And Paige, you posted, like, the corniest video, perfect lighting, and I didn't want people comparing me.

• 4:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 4:18Hannah Berner?

  So I said, I'm gonna just explain it with my words. But yeah, white capris, which, by the way.

• 4:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I love a capri.

• 4:25Hannah Berner?

  I was on my period.

• 4:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow.

• 4:27Hannah Berner?

  But it was Easter.

• 4:28Paige DeSorbo?

  So you were...

• 4:29Hannah Berner?

  And I said, Christ has my back today.

• 4:32Paige DeSorbo?

  If there's any day he's looking out for me, it's today.

• 4:35Hannah Berner?

  And I wore my granny panties, my, um, tampons.

• 4:40Paige DeSorbo?

  This is actually so bad, especially for the like sustainable girls. But like I'll just flow and then throw that underwear away.

• 4:49Hannah Berner?

  That's what I'm.

• 4:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I'm just always ordering underwear and you know what? I don't care.

• 4:53Hannah Berner?

  Can I say where I am in my marriage?

• 4:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Sure. Hannah arrived somewhere early and I was like, are you okay? Are you still married? The only explanation I could think is like, she's fighting with Dez.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, no, I'm literally on the phone with him talking about his knee right now. So I'm, when you're on your period, you know, it's reckless. And whenever you go to the bathroom, it's a whole thing. And when Dez and I are in a heavy, you know, gossip discussion, you can't lose momentum. And I was like, really quickly, I have to change my, I'm in the bathroom unplugging myself.

• 5:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And he came in.

• 5:23Hannah Berner?

  And he's in this bathroom, eye contact with me as I'm unplugging and putting it back in. And then in that moment, I was like.

• 5:30Paige DeSorbo?

  He's a feminist. Like he's a supportive king.

• 5:34Hannah Berner?

  He's literally handing me the tampon. He was like, do you need me to wrap toilet paper around it?

• 5:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And another thing.

• 5:39Hannah Berner?

  No, lit, he, his eyes did not move from eye contact. And I was like, oh my God, he loves me for me. So, um.

• 5:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, being able to gossip with your partner is like really important.

• 5:49Hannah Berner?

  Very important.

• 5:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Like if they don't, even if they don't care about what you're saying, it's really important that they pretend.

• 5:57Hannah Berner?

  My favorite is when Dez, cause Dez is honest with me. Sometimes he's like, the story's taking too long, it better be worth it.

• 6:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, wrap it up, land the plane.

• 6:04Hannah Berner?

  I feel pressure and then when I do have a crazy ending to a gossip story and I'm like, never doubt me again.

• 6:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:10Hannah Berner?

  Cause I like details. I like building it up. I like you thinking this isn't going anywhere.

• 6:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you heard of the bird theory?

• 6:16Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I love, the bird theory is very important.

• 6:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it's extremely true.

• 6:19Hannah Berner?

  Do you want to explain?

• 6:20Paige DeSorbo?

  If you haven't heard of it, it's if your partner says, hey, look at this, like, hey, look at that bird outside the window. And if you don't look, the statistics of you guys staying together dwindle.

• 6:34Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to Love on the Spectrum, the best show on television right now. Did you watch it?

• 6:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm watching.

• 6:38Hannah Berner?

  You're watching it?

• 6:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm only like three episodes in, but I'm like.

• 6:41Hannah Berner?

  Logan?

• 6:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Which one is he?

• 6:42Hannah Berner?

  With the curly hair.

• 6:44Paige DeSorbo?

  That wore the velvet suit?

• 6:45Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 6:47Hannah Berner?

  So much.

• 6:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, when he said, you know what? I don't need curvy haired girls to be happy.

• 6:55Hannah Berner?

  Curly haired girls to be happy.

• 6:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Nobody kept saying curvy.

• 6:57Hannah Berner?

  Oh, but that's literally every man I've ever met. Like when they're younger, they think they only like a certain type of girl. And then they like meet a girl who isn't like that. And they're like, wait, I made it up in my head what I like.

• 7:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 7:09Hannah Berner?

  This one girl goes on a date, this Mormon girl with a very cute man.

• 7:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 7:15Hannah Berner?

  Like very cute. Like the second I saw him, I was like, I'm good. He's good. Let's do this.

• 7:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:19Hannah Berner?

  And at the end, she was like, I think we should just be friends. You remind me of my dad.

• 7:26Hannah Berner?

  And in that moment, I said, she has valid points. But I was like, but you just met this guy. Like you've never been on a date before. Like this guy's cute. And that's me being a little bit, um, that vapid and shallow, which I have been in the past. I haven't, I didn't date a smart man until Dez. So just remember that.

• 7:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And he's like really smart.

• 7:44Hannah Berner?

  Dez?

• 7:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Hannah Berner?

  Well, scarily, like sometimes he knows things. I'm like, you shouldn't know that stuff.

• 7:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:49Hannah Berner?

  I was kind of annoyed, not annoyed with her, but I was like, okay, I feel like you're have two eggs in one basket. Whatever the quote is. The next date, she meets a guy who does the impression she likes. He's really handsome. She's laughing the whole time. And I said, we can learn from that.

• 8:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:03Hannah Berner?

  She said no to something that she knew she could have done.

• 8:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 8:08Hannah Berner?

  If I told you, if you said no to something that you're kind of accepting right now, and there was something so beautiful on the other side of it, wouldn't you say no immediately?

• 8:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 8:16Hannah Berner?

  And that's what we can learn from them because they're so honest. They can't fake it or we'll lie to ourselves. Be like, no, this guy's good enough. This is, this is what I need right now. What if I told you your dreams were on the other side?

• 8:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. What a good mental health moment to start off the pod.

• 8:31Hannah Berner?

  But also their dates are literally asking each other their favorite colors, their favorite hobbies. And if they don't have the same hobbies, it's like, let's move on.

• 8:38Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the first time I've seen a man ask a question on a date. Like, and I've watched a lot of dating shows before. I'm like, this is the first time they're interested.

• 8:45Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm actually watching. I turned to Dez and I'm like, you've never done that.

• 8:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:50Hannah Berner?

  The level of romance that these, these guys are bringing to the table is incredible.

• 8:54Paige DeSorbo?

  And I like that they know instantly, like, nope, not for me.

• 8:58Hannah Berner?

  The, the relationships that have made me felt the worst are the ones where I'm like being myself and they don't acknowledge it.

• 9:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't do that.

• 9:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Yeah, like, and not in a jokey way. Like I like when they make fun of me jokingly, but when you say something earnestly that interests you and they literally could not give a.

• 9:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you watch the Lamar Odom doc?

• 9:18Hannah Berner?

  Oh, girl. Wait, why did I feel like I liked him less after? Like, I went in being like, he's feeling bad for him. And then I was like, oh, no.

• 9:28Paige DeSorbo?

  When I was watching it, I, I actually got so mad because I was like, why are, why aren't more people talking about this? Like, justice for the Kardashians? It was so evident. I mean, he said it.

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  No one wants to say justice for the Kardashians. People would rather do anything than say justice for the Kardashians.

• 9:49Paige DeSorbo?

  It was so evident when he, I mean, he said it himself. He was like, "I married her because I knew it would better my life. I knew I wanted to live the way she lived."

• 10:02Hannah Berner?

  Which if a girl ever said that, they'd be like, "You gold-digging motherfucker."

• 10:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Especially because the whole rhetoric for years has been any guy that dates one of the Kardashians, like their career falls, they like, go crazy, whatever.

• 10:14Hannah Berner?

  I would argue the Kardashians, they're trying to fix these men, and then they can't because you can't fix a man.

• 10:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's so obvious that all of these men get with these women because of how disciplined they are, how successful they are. And also, you cannot be successful without being disciplined. Like, so all of these guys that they've dated and, and have married that become drug addicts, like, yeah, they're not drug addicts, so you're not going to become successful.

• 10:41Hannah Berner?

  I literally saw him say, "I saw her lifestyle."

• 10:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:44Hannah Berner?

  "And I realized that's the kind of lifestyle I want to live."

• 10:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And none of them could, oh my god, if I had a frickin' nickel. These men want to-

• 10:51Hannah Berner?

  What did you say, frickin'?

• 10:52Paige DeSorbo?

  These men want to be them. They want their lifestyle, but then they realize they can't actually put in the work to live their lifestyle.

• 11:02Hannah Berner?

  And then because they, Khloe loves him- She goes above and beyond to protect

• 11:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Protect him.

• 11:08Hannah Berner?

  This man as he embarrasses himself and her, she still sticks by him.

• 11:12Paige DeSorbo?

  But yet she gets the hate of like, well, why would you protect him?

• 11:16Hannah Berner?

  And suddenly he's the hero where everyone's like, justice for Lamar, like, like, save Lamar. And then everyone's like, fuck Khloe, while she's the one teaching her how to speak again.

• 11:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't realize that she was only 24 when they got married.

• 11:30Hannah Berner?

  I didn't realize that either. Something hurt me in my heart.

• 11:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:32Hannah Berner?

  Do you know she always called him Lammy?

• 11:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:34Hannah Berner?

  And I thought it was so cute.

• 11:36Paige DeSorbo?

  When he said it was weird?

• 11:37Hannah Berner?

  He goes, it was weird she called me that? I said, what?

• 11:40Paige DeSorbo?

  How about she didn't want to do the spinoff and he wanted to do it?

• 11:43Hannah Berner?

  Oh my God. She basically was like, he loved the camera.

• 11:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, these men that are so fame hungry.

• 11:49Hannah Berner?

  I thought her interviews were so honest.

• 11:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I love her.

• 11:52Hannah Berner?

  And just like, not negative at all.

• 11:55Paige DeSorbo?

  She seems like such a good mom and friend and she just seems so nice. What about the part where she said his dad came in and was like, pulled the plug because he wanted the life insurance money? And she was like, what do you want? And he wanted a pair of sneakers and a hotel room. And she was like, here, now get the fuck out of here. How in that alone?

• 12:17Hannah Berner?

  You don't realize how like selfish some of these men are, especially at the end, when even like his kid was like, I realized that my dad is like my son sometimes. And he just like, hasn't developed and stuff.

• 12:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I had no idea he had children.

• 12:29Hannah Berner?

  A full family.

• 12:30Paige DeSorbo?

  How about the kids being like, no, we're not coming to your wedding to be pawns.

• 12:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 12:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like to make you look good on a TV show when you're never around. I gave his daughter a lot of credit.

• 12:40Hannah Berner?

  And they love, but they love villainizing the Kardashians all the time. They're like, what did she do?

• 12:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Like if what?

• 12:46Hannah Berner?

  No, they just were like, what did Khloe do to him? That was what they always said. You don't think she did to him?

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  And

• 12:50Hannah Berner?

  Stay in the hospital for him.

• 12:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't realize even when they got out of the hospital, he lived with her and she like rehabilitated him. And then she caught him doing drugs again. Like she was like, you have the, a wherewithal enough to get a phone, contact a drug dealer and get drugs. Like whenever men say like, oh, well, we're just men. We don't think of these little details. That's a great example. Well, you figured out how to get a phone and contact any drug dealer. Drug dealer.

• 13:15Hannah Berner?

  I'm also still, I was gonna say reading the audiobook of Strangers. Which I don't know if you should, you'd be so pissed, like you'd like punch a wall and break a nail, which I don't want that for you. But she has this like Gwyneth Paltrow waspy monotone voice that is really good to play right before you go to sleep. So I was playing it last night. She, she's heartbroken by this marriage of twenty years that fell, is fall apart and he just walked out for no reason. And there's more tea to it, obviously, which I recommend you listen on your own. But um, she said something incredible. She goes, I'm looking around the apartment after he'd taken all his stuff away and she goes, and I'd been reminded of him in so many ways and how our lives intertwined together. And then I looked around and I realized,

• 14:01Hannah Berner?

  everything in the apartment was mine. The art, the books, the furniture, the stuff I bought for my kids. She goes, was he ever there? Ooh, I just got chills.

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, one of my, this is so page coded too. One of my like things that make, will make me infuriated is like when we break up, don't keep wearing the clothes that I picked out. Like, that was a persona I gave you. Stop wearing the clothes I picked out and bought and acting like you put that outfit together. Enough with you. Like truly enough.

• 14:38Hannah Berner?

  Oh god. I, um, but shout out to my husband who I love dearly. We are having a little bit of a fight, um, because we're really not, you know this middle spring weather where it's like, hot and then it's cold.

• 14:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You guys aren't aligned?

• 14:53Hannah Berner?

  Yesterday I was watching TV and suddenly I, I got like overstimulated and I'm like, it's fucking a hundred degrees in here. He's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, I'm, it's hell. I'm living in hell right now. And he's like, what are you talking about? And I go, what is the temperature? And I go, and this motherfucker has it on Celsius, cause he's trying to confuse me.

• 15:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, he, that's, I would.

• 15:13Hannah Berner?

  But you know what my thing is? I don't give a fuck what number it is. I know I want it at twenty one. And he keeps moving it to twenty four. I don't know what twenty four means, but I know it's too hot. So then I go and I see it's at twenty four when I know I put it at twenty one earlier in the day. So I go up to him, I said, you sneaky, you sneaky sneak. And he starts laughing. He goes, you don't even know what twenty four is. And I go, I don't care. It's too hot.

• 15:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, what is it?

• 15:33Hannah Berner?

  I don't know.

• 15:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I need to know.

• 15:36Hannah Berner?

  He's putting it at 24 Celsius.

• 15:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait Anna, I need to know.

• 15:40Hannah Berner?

  What is 24 Celsius? Cause whatever it is, it's too hot.

• 15:42Paige DeSorbo?

  What is?

• 15:44Hannah Berner?

  And then I put it to 21 and then I come back and he's so dramatic, he puts on.

• 15:48Paige DeSorbo?

  75?

• 15:50Hannah Berner?

  No. Okay, that's what, so then I put it to, I put it to 22 and then he, I come back in the room. He thinks he's funny. He puts on a coat and he puts on, cause he says I'm freezing him out.

• 16:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, he'd hate my house.

• 16:01Hannah Berner?

  But this is my thing. I can't sleep in the heat like that. So we're in this like war where I keep changing it and then he keeps changing it. And then I keep changing it and then he keeps changing it. And pray for us.

• 16:12Paige DeSorbo?

  If it's over 70, I'm pre-menopausal.

• 16:15Hannah Berner?

  I think.

• 16:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I can't. I've literally, I'm like, I'll freak out. I'm like, I'm having a hot flash. Like I.

• 16:20Hannah Berner?

  No, in the middle of just watching TV, I go, I can't do this anymore.

• 16:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you know what happened to me? I saw one time somewhere that someone said it's really good for your skin.

• 16:31Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 16:31Paige DeSorbo?

  To sleep in 65 degree weather at night. And so I'm 65.

• 16:36Hannah Berner?

  Yep. And I'm a sweaty person.

• 16:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe, okay, if I'm going to bed, I'm putting it at 65. When I wake up, maybe I'm pressing it up to 68. If it's a really cold day, I'm going 70, but I'm, my home is never over 70 degrees.

• 16:51Hannah Berner?

  And that's how I want an Italian's home to be. Cold, perfectly cleaned, smells like Lysol.

• 16:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. I love them around to eat and you say those dangerous words. Can I say one more thing?

• 17:01Hannah Berner?

  We'll literally talk for hours. And that's why I'm so excited that bottomless apps are back for $9.99 at Buffalo Wild Wings. And you know what that means?

• 17:09Paige DeSorbo?

  What does it mean?

• 17:10Hannah Berner?

  Bottomless yaps.

• 17:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's really cute.

• 17:13Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 17:13Paige DeSorbo?

  And there's nothing we love more than talking about something that happened 10 years ago. And just like recalibrating it, getting new information.

• 17:21Hannah Berner?

  This literally happened yesterday. I was like, hey, can I bring up this story that I've brought up to you many times? And you said, that's what I'm here for.

• 17:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Look at it from a new perspective. I'm, I'm 33 now.

• 17:31Hannah Berner?

  Also, I hate when you're like yapping and then you run out of food and your yapping goes past your apping.

• 17:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:38Hannah Berner?

  Buffalo Wild Wings, their mozzarella sticks and their fried pickles are perfect. But at Buffalo Wild Wings, they call it mat sticks, which makes it even cuter.

• 17:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Cute.

• 17:47Hannah Berner?

  Before I let you eat the stick, I need to make sure that it.

• 17:50Paige DeSorbo?

  It pulls apart?

• 17:51Hannah Berner?

  It pulls apart the right way. So let's see. Let's watch. We got the camera?

• 17:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes, honey.

• 17:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that looks so good.

• 17:59Hannah Berner?

  Sweet.

• 18:00Paige DeSorbo?

  What I need.

• 18:04Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 18:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I'm sorry. Fried cheese?

• 18:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Never misses.

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Ever.

• 18:11Hannah Berner?

  Like, our conversations. Always hits. Now, have you ever had a fried pickle before?

• 18:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I have.

• 18:17Hannah Berner?

  Fried pickles, I think, are for the girls. I love that you just immediately went for the sauce. You didn't even think twice.

• 18:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, wow.

• 18:23Hannah Berner?

  A little kick. A little kick.

• 18:26Paige DeSorbo?

  If I'm going out to eat and someone says, "Let's just do apps and share a bunch," you're my friend for life.

• 18:31Hannah Berner?

  You know when someone's like, "Could we just throw in one more app?"

• 18:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Throw it in.

• 18:34Hannah Berner?

  "Let's add one more thing to the conversation and one more app." Bottomless apps for $9.99 are back at Buffalo Wild Wings.

• 18:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Hell, yeah.

• 18:42Hannah Berner?

  Okay, let's talk some more, but this time over some onion rings and chips and salsa. So crispy.

• 18:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't get me started with a chip and a salsa.

• 18:50Hannah Berner?

  We never get bored about making the same jokes, because if a joke works, it's a classic.

• 18:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I'm gonna do it to everyone I know.

• 18:56Hannah Berner?

  Even if they're not even in on the joke.

• 18:58Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like an outfit. If you haven't worn it in front of certain people, that's a new outfit.

• 19:02Hannah Berner?

  And if they don't get it, you go, "Sorry, you had to be there." You win every time.

• 19:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. You know, sometimes I go onion ring over fries.

• 19:13Hannah Berner?

  That's like your freaky side coming out. Mmm. Also, onions are a vegetable.

• 19:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Sauce is a salad. This is a bowl of salad.

• 19:21Hannah Berner?

  This is really good, like the seasoning, to the chef.

• 19:26Hannah Berner?

  There's so many good things about Buffalo Wild Wings, besides just the wings.

• 19:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 19:30Hannah Berner?

  And lastly, I ordered the Hatch queso and more fried pickles for you.

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you so much. You know what I love? Something mini. So like, when there's a mini pickle, I'm adorable, get in my mouth.

• 19:43Hannah Berner?

  I could drink that. Like soda. Chug it. We also never get sick of making fun of each other. I'll make the same jokes about your small, little fingers. I mean, you're thin.

• 19:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, how dare you.

• 19:54Hannah Berner?

  You're small, thin.

• 19:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Gorgeous fingers. And I like making fun of you about just like, any shoe choice.

• 20:01Hannah Berner?

  Or just any choice.

• 20:04Hannah Berner?

  Whether it's a girls' night or a double date, there's always a reason to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Bottomless apps for $9.99 are back at Buffalo Wild Wings. Limited time, dine in only.

• 20:14Paige DeSorbo?

  See web or app for details.

• 20:16Hannah Berner?

  Can I be hypocrite for a second?

• 20:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Sure.

• 20:17Hannah Berner?

  I'm really enjoying this show that Dez recommended. Now Dez and I also don't, it's hard for us to align on a show that we both love on the spectrum. That's like our thing. DTF St. Louis.

• 20:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:30Hannah Berner?

  When Dez first brought this up to me, I said, this sounds like a local cop show.

• 20:33Paige DeSorbo?

  My brother told me to watch it.

• 20:35Hannah Berner?

  I said, I don't like the title. It sounds stupid. It's on HBO. I said, okay. Jason Bateman and then David Harbour, who...

• 20:42Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I love Jason Bateman. I love his humor. Jason Bateman is always playing Jason Bateman.

• 20:48Hannah Berner?

  Jason Bateman is the Jennifer...

• 20:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Aniston.

• 20:52Hannah Berner?

  Aniston.

• 20:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Of men.

• 20:53Hannah Berner?

  Yes. But I love how I've been literally saying, does David Harbour mean nothing to you?

• 20:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Lily Allen.

• 20:59Hannah Berner?

  Oh, Lily Allen. Does it mean nothing to you?

• 21:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, he'd be so pissed to hear that sentence. Does David... Yeah.

• 21:07Hannah Berner?

  But this is my thing. If the roles were reversed and Lily Allen had cheated on him and ruined their marriage, whatever, would she be starring in an HBO show like three months after the album comes out?

• 21:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you have to remember that it was probably filmed before.

• 21:24Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 21:25Paige DeSorbo?

  So they're not not airing it.

• 21:26Hannah Berner?

  I wonder if they like held it for a bit.

• 21:28Paige DeSorbo?

  The only time I feel like people have standards on the internet is...

• 21:32Hannah Berner?

  With women.

• 21:33Paige DeSorbo?

  With women.

• 21:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Standards is a strong word. It's more like projection.

• 21:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Like, nobody loves...

• 21:40Hannah Berner?

  A woman's wrong.

• 21:42Paige DeSorbo?

  More than a woman.

• 21:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's kind of crazy. Okay, let's talk about my table scape.

• 21:48Hannah Berner?

  I was waiting, but anyway.

• 21:50Paige DeSorbo?

  We've done the niceties. Let's talk about my table scape.

• 21:53Hannah Berner?

  Now that the non-gigglers are gone.

• 21:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally, now that there's no non-gigglers. My mom was so proud of me. She, I didn't tell her about the bunny chairs because I wanted her to be surprised. And she was like, ah. Very nice detail. I don't know how people host and also cook.

• 22:10Hannah Berner?

  I don't know how people host, also cook, and then socialize.

• 22:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Thanksgiving is such a big deal for our family because we host a Thanksgiving Eve party, which is now the count is up to like 50 people. So my mom-

• 22:25Hannah Berner?

  And it's anyone who's who in Albany.

• 22:27Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the who's who of my dad's phone book. Okay, it truly is. My mom has that catered. She has like bartenders, but she stays up until everybody leaves. So at like 1 a.m. she's up, she's cleaning up from it. Then she wakes up the next morning at like 7 a.m., starts Thanksgiving, cooks all of Thanksgiving, hosts another like 15 to 20 people. I was, people got there at 10 a.m. I was exhausted by 11:30.

• 22:57Hannah Berner?

  Paige.

• 22:58Paige DeSorbo?

  By 11:30, I was like, okay, let's wrap this up.

• 23:01Hannah Berner?

  Well, when did you have it? How did you set it up? Like what time in the morning?

• 23:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Tables and chairs got delivered at 8:00. So I decorated from like 8 to 9:00. And then I got ready from 9:00 to 10:00. Food got delivered at 9:00.

• 23:15Hannah Berner?

  You told us to come at 10 a.m., which I thought was, was early.

• 23:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 23:19Hannah Berner?

  It was early and Dez and I got a little nervous. So I, my alarm went off at 9:00. Felt like the middle of the night. I was, I was-

• 23:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It was Christmas morning.

• 23:27Hannah Berner?

  I dyed some of my hair. Dez was asking me about his shirt. We, we were the first ones to arrive.

• 23:32Paige DeSorbo?

  You brought gifts.

• 23:32Hannah Berner?

  We brought gifts.

• 23:33Paige DeSorbo?

  You brought chocolate cover, or chocolate bunnies.

• 23:36Hannah Berner?

  Yes, chocolate bunnies, some champagne.

• 23:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think the biggest revelation of the day was my dad falling in love with Dez.

• 23:46Hannah Berner?

  I mean.

• 23:46Paige DeSorbo?

  He offended you a couple times? My dad literally looked at Hannah and goes, "This guy's really funny. You should take him on tour." Hannah goes, "Fuck you."

• 23:58Hannah Berner?

  Well, he goes, yeah, you know, doesn't I just understand each other? Like, they have their own little sense of humor. And I said, Gary, don't, don't start with me right now. Don't start with me in this public gathering.

• 24:06Paige DeSorbo?

  But somebody at Easter came up to me and goes, you have your dad's exact personality. I said, how dare you? How dare you come into my home and disrespect me like that? I go, that guy's fucking out of his mind. They were like, you look like your mom, but you act like your dad. I was like, get out.

• 24:22Hannah Berner?

  That's, I'm the same way, except I kind of look like my dad.

• 24:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:27Hannah Berner?

  But Dez and I, we were there to entertain.

• 24:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, my mom literally was like, I feel like you hired Hannah to come.

• 24:36Hannah Berner?

  You hired two professional comedians to dabble in small talk.

• 24:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And you guys were moving around. You were moving around the room. You were doing different jokes at different stations.

• 24:45Hannah Berner?

  Yes, well, people have different types of humor that we need. He was, and I was telling him which stories to tell. I said, Dez, tell this story about the time he's coming in.

• 24:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You guys were working off of each other. Hire Hannah and Dez for your next bar, Bot Mitzvah, Sweet Sixteen.

• 24:59Hannah Berner?

  You had an outfit change into your pajamas.

• 25:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I had to.

• 25:03Hannah Berner?

  Everyone saw the look from every angle and then you went upstairs.

• 25:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I have to take my heels off.

• 25:07Hannah Berner?

  Came back in gorgeous pajamas. Dez and I left around, I mean, it was 10, we left at like 2, like 4 hours. And when I tell you, I didn't even pee during that time. I was yap, yap, yapping. I took a 3 hour nap.

• 25:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, everyone was out by 3. I fell asleep for like an hour.

• 25:23Hannah Berner?

  I woke up, didn't know what planet I was on. I said, and Dez was like, we were a hit. But it clearly was, he took too much out of you. I woke up at 6pm, my mom's like, hello, you have a family, happy Easter.

• 25:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you guys did such good work.

• 25:36Hannah Berner?

  Well, Kim afterwards was like, you guys were so entertaining. You guys were so entertaining. I said, thank you, Kim, that's all we wanted.

• 25:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was so fun.

• 25:45Hannah Berner?

  But it was so fun because I felt like you made the perfect, um, energy. The aura was so right.

• 25:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You want to know what it was? My feng shui.

• 25:54Hannah Berner?

  Your feng shui was perfect.

• 25:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I felt like my feng shui, everything worked. You rounded the corner, you could go outside, there's drinks over here. I was really particular about the feng shui because I almost put the tables outside. But then I was like, it might be too hot. What if it rains a little? It's windy. And so then I did it inside and I felt like it, it turned out.

• 26:14Hannah Berner?

  It was, yeah, because there was never one place where people were too crowded. Do you enjoy hosting or was this just performative? Or both?

• 26:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Performative.

• 26:22Hannah Berner?

  Like, are you like, can we do this again?

• 26:24Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I liked it because, well, Easter is fun because everything's like pink and baby blue and yellow. So I liked decorating for Easter. Um, no, I'll definitely like host more because it was fun. I don't like being stuck in a conversation for too long. And when you're the host,

• 26:42Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say that.

• 26:42Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so easy to be like, I have to go say hi to this person.

• 26:45Hannah Berner?

  I have to go check on the turkey.

• 26:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to run.

• 26:49Hannah Berner?

  You can make up anything and they'll believe you.

• 26:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Anything.

• 26:52Hannah Berner?

  Be like, oh, the croquettes.

• 26:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna start saying that when it doesn't even go. Oh, sorry, my croquettes are burning.

• 27:03Hannah Berner?

  At one point, you had so many tchotchkes around the house. I literally was like, you're about to be like, bring out the dancing lobsters. Like, it was so stimulating, but so fun. But also, you had everything.

• 27:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, then halfway into it, I was like, why the fuck didn't I hire an Easter bunny?

• 27:15Hannah Berner?

  Well, Dez was, Dez was, would have done it if we pushed him a little further.

• 27:19Paige DeSorbo?

  If I thought of it earlier, I would have had him do it. Also, holidays, having like kids around makes it so much better.

• 27:26Hannah Berner?

  Well, yeah, because whenever you want to be out of a conversation, you're just like, oh, that kid's eating a shard of glass, gotta go, which they are.

• 27:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:33Hannah Berner?

  So as someone who never prepares her outfits, panics, Revolve has saved my life so many times because delivery is so quick, like two days. And they curate the website. So they tell me exactly like, if I'm going on vacation, if I'm going to dinner, like what all the cool girls are wearing. Lately, I've been buying like Hellisa.

• 27:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:54Hannah Berner?

  Aigle jeans. I'm just obsessed with Revolve. You can't make a mistake.

• 27:57Paige DeSorbo?

  And they also just introduced Revolve L.A., which is like their own brand. And it's so good. There's like this one white dress that like immediately sold out. It's like backless that I'm like really trying to get. As someone who plans their outfits and knows exactly what's coming up, I'm also obsessed with Revolve because I last minute panic too. Because I'm like, what if it's all wrong? And let me just get these things just in case.

• 28:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 28:23Paige DeSorbo?

  The returns, oh, that's what it is.

• 28:25Hannah Berner?

  That's what it is. They give you the label. You literally, a stork comes in and takes it.

• 28:32Paige DeSorbo?

  And the Revolve LA, all of their dresses, all their pieces just feel like modern but elevated. Like, they have so much like backlist stuff, which I just think is so great for the summer and just like easy, long dresses, but like look cool.

• 28:44Hannah Berner?

  What's something you recently wore from Revolve?

• 28:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I recently just ordered this like Helsa yellow cardigan.

• 28:49Hannah Berner?

  I love yellow right now.

• 28:51Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so sweet. And I feel like you can still wear it in like spring and summer. Like, I always need like a little sweater.

• 28:56Hannah Berner?

  And Helsa's really good at like getting the

• 28:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I love their tops and jackets.

• 29:00Hannah Berner?

  So cute.

• 29:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Whether it's a girls' night, a date, or one of those I need to look hot, but not like I tried too hard moments, Revolve always has it. Go to revolve.com/giggly and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order and definitely check out the new Revolve LA label while you're there. Fast shipping, easy returns, it just works. That's revolve.com/giggly. You can shop our faves and get 15% off your first order. Offer ends April 21st, so don't miss out. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work? Outfit. Leading a meeting? Outfit. Getting drinks with your friends? Obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Allies

• 29:44Paige DeSorbo?

  from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer, and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season, it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan

• 30:28Paige DeSorbo?

  and Tallulah pumps, plus ready-to-wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15.

• 30:47Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Offigato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Offigato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Offigato Creme filling, so it feels

• 31:29Paige DeSorbo?

  a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Offigato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables, Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change, and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something.

• 32:13Paige DeSorbo?

  If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations, so a real person can help you plan your space. No fees. So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y dot com. Make yourself at home. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiatory connects you with real psychiatric care, so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works. Talkiatory is 100% online psychiatric practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and much more. Unlike

• 32:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Therapy only platforms, Talkiiatry is psychiatry. You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan and supports you over time with consistent evidence-based care. And because you continue with the same provider, you're not starting over each time. Your treatment can evolve with you and you can actually make progress over time. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T A L K I A T R Y dot com slash giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com slash giggly.

• 33:39Hannah Berner?

  Also, you underestimated me.

• 33:42Paige DeSorbo?

  For what?

• 33:42Hannah Berner?

  There was a little baby.

• 33:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:44Hannah Berner?

  And I took the little baby and you at first were like, oh my God, are you okay?

• 33:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that wasn't me. That was the mom.

• 33:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Mom was like, is your friend okay? I was like, I don't know. I don't know.

• 34:01Hannah Berner?

  Actually, I love how the mom just met me and immediately was like, don't know if I trust her with my child.

• 34:06Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, please don't touch my child.

• 34:08Hannah Berner?

  Well, look, I make.

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that baby loved you.

• 34:10Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because I don't have Botox, so I can make really funny faces. And the baby was loving, but then I had to get new material. Like, you know, when you see a certain face too long, the baby's like, seen this one. So I had so much fun with the babies, but it's because of shout out Lois and Bobby that I feel comfortable holding a baby.

• 34:27Paige DeSorbo?

  There was a moment where I was like, I can't wait to have a daughter because there was a little girl at my Easter. She's like four years old. And I took my heels off at one point before I changed out of my dress, just like popped my heels off. And she looked at me and she goes, um, what about your heels? And I was like, you know what? Fuck yeah. I was like, hell yeah, Georgina. I need to put my goddamn heels back on. This is a full outfit.

• 34:52Hannah Berner?

  Georgina fully bullied you at your own party. She goes, ew.

• 34:56Paige DeSorbo?

  With a name like that, I expect it. I want it.

• 34:59Hannah Berner?

  Hair on your pinky toe?

• 35:01Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, gross.

• 35:03Hannah Berner?

  No, Georgina is gorgeous and.

• 35:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that name.

• 35:06Hannah Berner?

  Would read me to filth.

• 35:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:08Hannah Berner?

  I was trying to avoid her because I kind of wish she was going to tear me apart. I was so scared of her. Talk about heels. Our women in STEM of the week. This is, I don't have the username, but.

• 35:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Now I like, I'm on TikTok. I'm like, wow, that'd be a really good woman.

• 35:25Hannah Berner?

  Because people started to tag the girls and be like, did you know you were woman of the week by Hannah Berner? And they were like, who is that? And what's going on? Apparently, there's this thing that says Jessica Simpson heels are the most comfortable heels in the game. Now, I haven't bought them, so I don't know. And I don't want you guys just buying stuff without us testing it first. But these girls are like, I've worn these heels all day. And I still feel good. So justice for Jessica Simpson.

• 35:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Trying to think if I still have any Jessica Simpson heels.

• 35:56Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember when she had her foot on all of our necks?

• 35:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:00Hannah Berner?

  Like, we were having-

• 36:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Is she a billionaire? She might be.

• 36:04Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, but she, do you remember her edible lotion?

• 36:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 36:08Hannah Berner?

  That's what started COVID.

• 36:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like she was like one of, she doesn't get enough credit for being one of the first celebrities to like have a shoe line, have a, like she did all of those things.

• 36:21Hannah Berner?

  She also is so naturally beautiful.

• 36:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually got fed on TikTok, like her, one of her music videos from like 2003. And when I was watching it, I didn't remember it until like, I was fully, and I was like, wait, I do remember all of these scenes. I remember wanting to recreate that outfit. Like, she was such a pivotal pop star for me.

• 36:41Hannah Berner?

  Iconic. And it was at a time where like, pretty women weren't allowed to be funny. So instead, they were just like, she's really dumb. Because she said dumb things. But she was just like fucking with Nick.

• 36:51Paige DeSorbo?

  But in reality, she's probably one of the smartest pop stars because she capitalized off of it so well. Like, her Jessica, she has everything. They make jewelry, they make bags.

• 37:03Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Anywho, we're big fans of her.

• 37:06Hannah Berner?

  Anyway, Jessica Simpson, she's going through a divorce, so.

• 37:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Is she? I think she went through it.

• 37:11Hannah Berner?

  Well, she was with a hockey guy, so obviously.

• 37:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you sure?

• 37:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm 100% sure.

• 37:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you thinking of Carrie Underwood?

• 37:18Hannah Berner?

  I've never thought about Carrie Underwood in my life.

• 37:24Hannah Berner?

  It's never crossed my desk.

• 37:28Hannah Berner?

  And woman of the week runner up?

• 37:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 37:31Hannah Berner?

  This, I follow all these pages about like vintage finds and stuff.

• 37:34Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny that we have a woman of the week and then you added runner up as if we always had a runner up.

• 37:40Hannah Berner?

  We do. So she tells me like what to buy and stuff, vintage online. And she said, you know, it's the best thing to do for art? Go to thrift shops and buy kids art for like three dollars. She goes, no one can tell it's kids art.

• 37:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:56Hannah Berner?

  They all look like really modern and cool. And, and I'm like, that is so genius. So next time you see like kids art, which is so sad though. And like what parent was like, fuck my kids doodles.

• 38:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm selling them.

• 38:08Hannah Berner?

  Someone's trash is another woman's treasure. Not men, just art.

• 38:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:12Hannah Berner?

  Just art. Anyway, any final thoughts on Easter?

• 38:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I want you to revel in this moment. Funny DMs from girls just being like, okay, love your look. It is giving Lego, but I did, and then I had this one girl.

• 38:27Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, I'm not trying to be mean, but do you remember those candies when we were younger that came on like the piece of paper?

• 38:32Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 38:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And it, they were like the buttons?

• 38:34Hannah Berner?

  Yes, yes.

• 38:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And she was like, it's giving yellow, like button candy?

• 38:38Hannah Berner?

  Those were so disgusting. Like it tastes like actual cardboard and we were like, loved it.

• 38:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Like paper was still on it.

• 38:45Hannah Berner?

  I tasted the flavor, like it tasted like yellow.

• 38:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you ever go through a phase where people said that you could eat the wrapper that gum comes in? Never mind. Okay. That was, that was just my middle school. Never mind. Actually I digress. I didn't either.

• 39:01Hannah Berner?

  You're like, me neither. Me neither.

• 39:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I believe there were a lot of times I was like, you can eat the paper. Like, no, you can't.

• 39:07Hannah Berner?

  I mean, I've heard you could eat the shrimp tail. Okay.

• 39:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I would never.

• 39:10Hannah Berner?

  I do.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I have been off shrimp for a couple of years.

• 39:13Hannah Berner?

  Really?

• 39:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think I ever told you.

• 39:15Hannah Berner?

  The meat of the ocean, really?

• 39:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I feel like I ate too much shrimp cocktail and then now I like really can't look at it.

• 39:21Hannah Berner?

  When were you exposed to so much shrimp cocktail that you couldn't do it anymore?

• 39:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I went through a phase where like, if it was on the menu, I was getting it as my appetizer. And I feel like I got it like fifty times in a row and it's top.

• 39:34Hannah Berner?

  Also shrimp cocktails so country, they're like, this is gonna be in a

• 39:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Cocktail glass.

• 39:39Hannah Berner?

  Cocktail glass, and we're only giving you four.

• 39:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and like cocktail sauce?

• 39:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, with a little Worcestershire?

• 39:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:45Hannah Berner?

  How do you say it?

• 39:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Worcestershire.

• 39:47Hannah Berner?

  Worcestershire, Worcestershire.

• 39:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Kitty was so, like, I didn't tell her that we were having a party.

• 39:54Hannah Berner?

  Kitty was not happy.

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And so she was like, okay, like, I wasn't aware that there was an assignment, like, so she was

• 40:00Hannah Berner?

  Forgot to tell her?

• 40:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I didn't tell her. And so, she's so my cat, because when she hides, she will only hide in my closet. The only place she feels comfortable is surrounded by YSL heels.

• 40:13Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, and so she gets in like the corner of my closet.

• 40:17Hannah Berner?

  She was praying to Prada.

• 40:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally praying to Prada. She was like, they'll never find me behind the long hanging dresses. And we didn't, and I didn't. And then like when people left, she crept out of my closet and I was like, you gorgeous, gorgeous girl.

• 40:32Hannah Berner?

  Kitty does love people, I just wanna like defend her.

• 40:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:35Hannah Berner?

  It's just kids' energy, like the kids were chasing her.

• 40:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:38Hannah Berner?

  And she was like, okay, like, I don't wanna be hunted down on a Sunday.

• 40:42Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, actually, I don't wanna wear a crown right now.

• 40:44Hannah Berner?

  It's the Lord's day. The funniest thing about cats is they will literally, the second they hear the door close of people leave that they don't like, they come out.

• 40:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:53Hannah Berner?

  They know exactly what's going on.

• 40:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Feel the energy.

• 40:55Hannah Berner?

  They know exactly who's leaving, like, they're like, small doses with those people.

• 40:58Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, my mom's napping somewhere, I must find her.

• 41:00Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Another documentary, which is, it's heavy. It's heavy. And I don't, I don't wanna, I don't know how I'm gonna say it without ruining what happened. But by the way, you guys, these are documentaries. I'm not giving away the ending, they've happened already.

• 41:16Hannah Berner?

  But fast forward if you don't want to hear this, it's Netflix about Untold Maura Wilson. Why do people who die? Why are they always the most spectacular people in the world?

• 41:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, set the scene for us.

• 41:28Hannah Berner?

  She was a skier, so, and then she got injured, so I felt connected to her. But she was like gonna be professional, hurt her ACL, became a biker. Of course, she's like gorgeous, funny, probably does charity every day. Like, she's perfect. And she gets involved with a man, she's 25, again, brain not fully formed. And the man has an on-again, off-again girlfriend. And him and this girlfriend were known, people always said, oh yeah, the girl that he never introduces to anyone. Which, by the way, I don't know if you've ever been that girl, I was that girl once with this guy who like thought he was the shit.

• 42:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Interesting.

• 42:05Hannah Berner?

  And in a group, he like never introduced me. And I remember even, and I'm vocal.

• 42:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, never introduced you?

• 42:13Hannah Berner?

  Like, when he was with his coworkers or whatever, it was, it was very like-

• 42:16Paige DeSorbo?

  But you were there, like invited you, but wasn't like, this is my girlfriend Hannah.

• 42:21Hannah Berner?

  Like, they're just talking, like, and you're literally like, oh, I'm a plant. Like, they're not treating you like you're human. And yes, I was 25 at the time, and yes, I was, like, he was like important or something, but I remember feeling weird about it. Like, once, I remember, he brought me somewhere, and I was cracking some jokes, and when we got back, he goes, you were pretty confident back there.

• 42:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:41Hannah Berner?

  And I remember thinking like, oh, this is not the man for me. So this girl, so seeing this guy who has an on-off girlfriend, but he's like, I'm single. But then he stops responding to her, blocks her at one point, and she moves on, but then he reaches out to her again, he's basically wishy-washing, clearly lying to both girls.

• 42:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you have a moment when you date people that you're, like, there's a moment where you're like, yeah, I hate you?

• 43:02Hannah Berner?

  It's funny, with guys I've actually dated, dated, like, full-on relationship, I don't, I haven't really hated any of them.

• 43:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:10Hannah Berner?

  Because by the time I've I've like learned who they are as people, I feel like they're good guys. It's more the like situationship ones that I'm like, oh, you're sick.

• 43:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:19Hannah Berner?

  Where guys I've fully dated, I'm not even sad at the end because I'm like, I've seen all of you and I understand this isn't right.

• 43:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:25Hannah Berner?

  But situationships, you're like, oh, I've made you into something you're not. You're actually the complete opposite. And I'm mad at myself for giving you the benefit of the doubt.

• 43:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I feel like every time I realize I hate them, it's all like a similar situation and it's that like, wow, you were really like talkative with the group or something, or like you were really, one time a guy told, I asked him, I forget what we were even doing and I asked him like, oh, was that okay to say? And I remember him saying like, well, you just like talked over everyone and everyone noticed it. And I could tell that everyone was getting really pissed. And I remember being like, oh, my God, really? And then like asking someone and the girl being like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, no, no one thought that. And then me realizing in that moment where I was like, wow, I actually fucking hate you.

• 44:13Hannah Berner?

  They're trying to make you smaller.

• 44:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:15Hannah Berner?

  They're trying to make you, they're trying to dim your light, as I like to say. So long story short, this is the part you can fast forward. She gets murdered. And it's not the guy, it's the girlfriend.

• 44:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I actually stopped listening.

• 44:28Hannah Berner?

  His on and off again girlfriend murdered her.

• 44:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Murdered her. The old girlfriend murdered the new girlfriend.

• 44:34Hannah Berner?

  And she wasn't even new girlfriend. It was basically like this guy was kind of lying to both of them and one of the girls was clearly not mentally well.

• 44:43Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, I don't say it lightly, picking the wrong guy can kill you. It could literally, like, there are also, like, there are so many studies where women get into relationships and like develop autoimmune diseases. Like, it truly can kill you.

• 45:00Hannah Berner?

  It was funny because I was thinking about the Manosphere documentary and how they made a documentary about these men making other men hate women. And then I'm like, is there going to be a Google documentary about how we told all the girls they're going to get autoimmune diseases if they talked to men?

• 45:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because you want to know what?

• 45:13Hannah Berner?

  We're raising awareness.

• 45:15Paige DeSorbo?

  In any type of society, there's like oppressor and the oppressed.

• 45:20Hannah Berner?

  Ooh.

• 45:20Paige DeSorbo?

  There's like a whole thing about if you're the oppressed, you know every single thing about who's oppressing you.

• 45:27Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 45:28Paige DeSorbo?

  So us being like, also, we don't hate all men. We like are in relationships, we have sex with them, like, we love men.

• 45:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 45:35Paige DeSorbo?

  But being aware and knowing, it's the whole thing of like, we have to do all of these things to protect ourselves from them. But we, like, a perfect example is like the Bonnie Blue. Like, the girl that does all the, like, rage bait and, like, has sex with a million guys in one day or whatever. Never once do, is there ever an article, like, well, who are the guys? Like, who are the guys that are standing in line to have sex with this one girl?

• 46:02Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm. Also, if a guy had sex with 100 women in a day, he'd be, literally, have a sculpture.

• 46:07Paige DeSorbo?

  That's just like a football player in college.

• 46:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that's just like the captain of some team somewhere. Like, that's just... I don't even know the Bonnie Blue stuff. Like, I, again, because I don't know, like, streamers or, like, any of that bullshit. But I know that we've never once identified one man that's had sex with her. Like, I'd like to see all of their pictures.

• 46:28Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

• 46:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, I don't know how we got...

• 46:31Hannah Berner?

  I feel like this episode has gotten, like, kind of deep and stuff, but I kind of like it, so I'm, I'm gonna add on to it. Um, I was thinking about...

• 46:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I used the word oppressed.

• 46:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Let's go. Okay, go back. We gotta lean in. Lean in, hashtag lean in.

• 46:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm wearing a Shakespearean top, and so I felt I needed to say the word oppressor. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common, and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary.

• 47:29Paige DeSorbo?

  And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair. Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram,

• 48:13Paige DeSorbo?

  but there's really never any planning behind it. And you know I hate a workout class. That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps. And the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer in your headphones. I've been using this for a while now and I also feel and see myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now. So that will definitely be my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether I'm doing it all correctly.

• 48:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use our link to get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. You know when someone walks into a room and you're like, "Okay, she has something." It's confidence, it's that effortless, put-together energy. Honestly, a lot of time, it's the smile. Well, it doesn't happen by itself. There's chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste is clinically proven to remove 15 years of stains

• 49:41Paige DeSorbo?

  when you brush twice daily for only two weeks. The formula is powered by hydrogen peroxide complex. Colgate's unique formulation of hydrogen peroxide, which is the ingredient dentists use to whiten teeth. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste works at the molecular level to gently dissolve stains deep within the enamel where your brush can't reach. I have to drink my daily coffee every morning. I literally go to bed thinking about it. So, cutting out coffee is just not an option for me when it comes to whitening my teeth. And a good smile is kind of like a great outfit. You don't always know why someone looks put together, you just know that they do. I love that Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste

• 50:22Paige DeSorbo?

  works on those everyday stains while still being enamel-safe for daily use. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of wow. Colgate Optic White.

• 50:33Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes. And around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But, the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.

• 51:16Hannah Berner?

  So then, I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest-ready with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon. I was thinking about how I love being in my 30s. And I try to put words to why my 20s is hard. So, girls in their 20s listening could like be easier on themselves.

• 51:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:39Hannah Berner?

  And I think I realize I am a perfectionist. I know I'm a type B perfectionist, so it's weird.

• 51:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You're 100% a perfectionist.

• 51:46Hannah Berner?

  Thank you. Well, I have a little Virgo on my chart and no one talks about it.

• 51:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You get very like detailed oriented. You're like, what if we cut the clip two seconds prior? I'm like, shut up, just post it.

• 51:57Hannah Berner?

  Page like pages are like says yes to everything. And I'm like, we need to stop point 01 seconds before this joke ends.

• 52:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:04Hannah Berner?

  But I was thinking about as a perfectionist in my 20s. Every single thing that happened to me when it wouldn't go right. I was so upset and down on myself. And then I realized like the reason I love my 30s is because I've made all the mistakes already. So, I'm not scared of making the mistakes. Cause I'm like, oh, I've done this and I've messed up and it's gone well. So, and I also know the answer to things now because I've made the mistakes.

• 52:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Hannah Berner?

  So, in your 20s, you don't know the answers.

• 52:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 52:32Hannah Berner?

  So, as a perfectionist in your 20s, when something happens to you, you go, I don't know this. And you try calling your mom, you try Googling it. But it takes until your 30s to be to know the answer to things and actually feel good about. Where your 20s, you feel bad because you made mistakes.

• 52:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I think the biggest difference for me when I from 20s to 30s is 20s, I always thought I was stupid. Like I would always just be like, well, obviously I'm not as smart as that person. Or like that person definitely knows way more than I do about whatever the situation is. Then when I got into my 30s, I feel like I was like.

• 53:04Hannah Berner?

  That everyone's stupid?

• 53:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, wait, you're really, you're actually the dumb one. And I'm 10 times smarter than you. I was just a little bit more insecure about it.

• 53:14Hannah Berner?

  Any guy that says he's smart is dumb. Any guy that says he's a good guy is a bad guy.

• 53:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:18Hannah Berner?

  Anyone who tries to tell you there's something is the opposite.

• 53:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah, so true. Also, like this has nothing to do with it, but I'm so fucking sick of the term girl's girl. If we can never say it again, that would be great.

• 53:32Hannah Berner?

  It's kind of like girls weaponizing other girls in a way.

• 53:37Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just like another way to be like, she's actually not a girl's girl. Actually, she is a girl's girl. It's like, what's the definition of it even anymore? Like, because to me, it was like just being nice to girls. And now it's like, but actually, if you go back, there's like. It's just I can't. I hate the phrase now.

• 53:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 53:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I like can't see it anymore.

• 53:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and I think our podcast, people who love Giggly Squad are girls who love making other girls laugh.

• 54:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:08Hannah Berner?

  And love the commonality of joking and girlhood.

• 54:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And having things in common.

• 54:13Hannah Berner?

  And having things in common. And I really realize, if you don't have girls in your life that make you laugh, like, what do you do? Try to connect with men? That sucks.

• 54:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't connected with a man in years. If my good guy friends didn't get married, I probably still, I wouldn't still be friends with them, I feel like.

• 54:30Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 54:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I feel like when my, any like friendship I had with a male in my twenties is now such a different relationship because they're married and I am so much closer to their wives.

• 54:42Hannah Berner?

  Another thing that's hard about making friends, though, in your thirties is you have to start the story from the beginning, if that makes sense. Like, it's kind of fun, but when you have a new friend, but in your thirties, you're like, which chapter do we even start on? Like, you need to get multiple drinks to like, give your lore. I mean, our lore is like, I can't even, I don't know if I can start over with someone. I need to like, send them to someone to like, give them the briefing before they get to me. One thing I like, listening to rap music.

• 55:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, would it change in direction?

• 55:13Hannah Berner?

  As driven women.

• 55:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 55:15Hannah Berner?

  Nobody talks about it like rappers, about as you get successful, how many people start lying about you, coming for you, being mean to you, bullying you, and like, only rappers talk about it. Pop stars are like, um, love, love, but rappers are like, literally, no one came for my neck until I started making money. Like, that, and I'm literally like, the amount of lies other girls can make up about you when you're doing well is so scary and crazy. So how about this?

• 55:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because girls are so smart. So they're like, I know that people will hate her if they think this about her. And so then they say it. If a man's gonna make up a rumor about you, it's gonna be like, she had sex with. And it's like, okay, like, good one. Where like, if a girl's gonna make up a rumor about you, it's layered. She's done research. She's like, yeah, it's different.

• 56:05Hannah Berner?

  And then you you can't address it.

• 56:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like bullying in an office setting is next level.

• 56:11Hannah Berner?

  Next level. And even like places that you didn't think, like nurses, I've heard horrible stories of teachers.

• 56:18Paige DeSorbo?

  The nurse lore, I would actually love a reality show based around nurses.

• 56:23Hannah Berner?

  That would be insane. They'd be like, this character is dead.

• 56:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my god. No, think about what a good, like, okay, because people like love the pit.

• 56:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 56:33Paige DeSorbo?

  They love like.

• 56:34Hannah Berner?

  Is it girl coded, though?

• 56:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Like Grey's Anatomy, like I I also love a medical show. You like, you feel smarter when you watch it. That's how I feel about Law and Order. I'm like, I'm a lawyer.

• 56:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 56:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, but nurses have, well, nurses get such a bad rep, too. Like, oh, nurses are so bitchy. And like, well, they're tired.

• 56:51Hannah Berner?

  They haven't slept for years.

• 56:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think that they would have such a good reality show.

• 56:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Or even like a scripted show where it's, but it's just about the nurses.

• 57:02Hannah Berner?

  They'd be like, producers would be like, hey, can you start a fight with someone? And she'd be like, yeah, that girl needs an IV or she's gonna die. I can't like, start a fight.

• 57:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they don't have to start a fight, but like, how good would it be if they're they're getting into it about something? It's like, okay, well, you didn't fill the chart out right. It's like, okay, well, maybe I didn't have to do your work. And then it's like, someone's coding in the other room. And they're like, we'll get back to this.

• 57:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And then it's a cliffhanger. Next episode, does she live or die?

• 57:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I think there's like hierarchy in nurses.

• 57:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, there is. The new one, the new nurse. Well, we watched that whole thing about a documentary about how all the nurses tried to blame one of the nurses for like killing her people.

• 57:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, that baby?

• 57:45Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 57:45Paige DeSorbo?

  When we watched that, oh, yeah.

• 57:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, that was dark.

• 57:47Paige DeSorbo?

  In British, in British.

• 57:49Hannah Berner?

  Was it in, oh yeah, it was in England. It was in England.

• 57:52Paige DeSorbo?

  They were speaking in British.

• 57:54Hannah Berner?

  I can't believe, you know, we've never been to England together.

• 57:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Is that crazy?

• 57:57Hannah Berner?

  Or Italy.

• 57:59Paige DeSorbo?

  We've, the only time we've been outside of the country together is Canada. We've never been on a vacation together?

• 58:04Hannah Berner?

  Well, vacation was never our thing.

• 58:06Paige DeSorbo?

  We've never vacationed together.

• 58:08Hannah Berner?

  I mean, every day with you is a vacation, but I actually was thinking about how I want to go to Sicily with you.

• 58:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I would love that.

• 58:14Hannah Berner?

  I was talking to Kim about it. You don't have to come, but Kim and I are going.

• 58:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Why don't you just come on our, that is one thing I will say about my family. My holidays and my vacations are like, yeah, just come. Like anyone.

• 58:26Hannah Berner?

  You guys are very welcoming.

• 58:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, we've met you guys three times. Come on our vacation.

• 58:32Paige DeSorbo?

  My mom has always been really big on, like, each holiday is unique. Like, not every holiday is gonna be the same. It's not gonna always be the same people. So like, random holidays, we will have random people and they might not come next year and they might not have been there the year before. But my Italy trip has truly turned into, if you're in Italy, come have dinner with us. As if we're like, like, Taylor is coming on my trip. Sierra came last summer and probably again this summer.

• 59:03Hannah Berner?

  You've had many.

• 59:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Lucho's coming on my trip this year.

• 59:06Hannah Berner?

  Boys in and out.

• 59:09Hannah Berner?

  My dad loved when I brought guys to like Shelter Island, because he would do the boyfriend Olympics.

• 59:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:15Hannah Berner?

  And you think it's a joke, it's not. He would just at one point be like, you want to throw a ball outside? And the guy would be like, okay. And they'd start with football. And then they'd throw a baseball around. And then next you know, they're doing time sprints. They're doing jumping verticals. He's bringing them to the beach. They're racing. They're throwing, then they're throwing the frisbee in the water.

• 59:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry for doing a decathlon.

• 59:33Hannah Berner?

  Pull the decathlon. And then my dad, and then my dad is literally like, he made it or he didn't. And some of the.

• 59:38Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, well, are you gonna be able to protect my daughter of the world ends? Yes or no? Let's find out in the backyard.

• 59:42Hannah Berner?

  It's like, this is also why I love, like, Big men is because I can throw a football and I cannot explain to you guys how it feels to I don't know how it feels to be with a man who can't throw a ball farther than you, but it's annoying.

• 59:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Have you ever dated a guy that doesn't like, like sports?

• 1:00:00Hannah Berner?

  No, even when I dated a musician, he was like, he was like an athlete too. But I'm annoying, like I'm, I really am annoying with the sports guys.

• 1:00:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:00:09Hannah Berner?

  I've never dated a poet. I don't date fucking, I don't date any-

• 1:00:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Where are there just poets running around?

• 1:00:15Hannah Berner?

  I'm in Brooklyn. I've never dated the, I don't date the skinny like artsy dudes. I've never dated a guy who was like tatted up unless it was like cool for his sport. Or like he had a random cross because he like needed it to win the football game.

• 1:00:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I've dated a couple of guys that don't watch sports and-

• 1:00:33Hannah Berner?

  What do they talk about?

• 1:00:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Not to sound like misogynistic, I really don't. I do prefer a guy that watches sports.

• 1:00:41Hannah Berner?

  There's something about like their brain needs to be focused on something of structure or they're, they're philanderers.

• 1:00:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's kind of like, it's kind of like babysitting where you're like, there's a game on tonight. Perfect. He's gonna be occupied from seven to nine thirty.

• 1:00:59Hannah Berner?

  The Mets are four hours. And it's, it's literally like he puts himself in the room.

• 1:01:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I'm like, what if we turned on the game and I got you a snack?

• 1:01:06Hannah Berner?

  Put him down.

• 1:01:07Paige DeSorbo?

  We sat down and we were just quiet.

• 1:01:09Hannah Berner?

  Turn on the game, put him down and-

• 1:01:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Hannah Berner?

  He's good.

• 1:01:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want you to have a lot in common with me.

• 1:01:15Hannah Berner?

  It's less important that you have things in common, more important that you have the same sense of humor about it.

• 1:01:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:24Hannah Berner?

  That's the T. Um, I also-

• 1:01:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I need someone that's not afraid to make fun of me. A lot of my boyfriends are scared of me, so I'm like, I need someone to-

• 1:01:32Hannah Berner?

  I need to like-

• 1:01:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Who's not afraid to be like, you look dumb.

• 1:01:34Hannah Berner?

  Why do I feel like I need to sit them down and tell them how to like rip you to shreds?

• 1:01:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like that's what I-

• 1:01:39Hannah Berner?

  In a charming way. Like god forbid.

• 1:01:42Paige DeSorbo?

  God forbid. We had a little back and forth.

• 1:01:44Hannah Berner?

  I don't remember a moment that I didn't make fun of you. Like, like the first day I met you, I was like-

• 1:01:49Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, do you even care about me if you're not making fun of me? Like, no, because it's at a level of comfortability where it's like, yeah, I can say that to her. Obviously she's not gonna get offended by it.

• 1:01:59Hannah Berner?

  It takes me knowing about you and remembering details about you to make fun of you, which means I care, period.

• 1:02:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Done. That's what it is.

• 1:02:05Hannah Berner?

  Can I say one thing about football that's gonna piss you off?

• 1:02:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Fine.

• 1:02:08Hannah Berner?

  This girl on TikTok said that football games are actually only eleven to eighteen minutes of actual playing.

• 1:02:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:02:15Hannah Berner?

  And the rest is commercials and just like fucking around because they need to give people enough time to make bets. And to just like consume, like to eat food and to order stuff and to watch commercials. These guys are, I mean, yes, it is like they're getting hit by a car all the time and they're never gonna be able to like think the same because they have CD. But it's really eleven to eighteen minutes of actual play.

• 1:02:40Paige DeSorbo?

  And they act like they're just saving the world.

• 1:02:44Hannah Berner?

  And not to shout out tennis, but like these men are playing three out of five sets, just out there for five hours.

• 1:02:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Even like baseball is like eight million hours long.

• 1:02:55Hannah Berner?

  But they're not really moving a lot. Soccer, they just add random time at the end of the game because like you guys haven't ran enough, just four more minutes, just go.

• 1:03:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, that's very interesting about football.

• 1:03:05Hannah Berner?

  Very interesting.

• 1:03:06Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's all just to sell things during the game. I mean, if you think about it, if you ever go to like a stadium, it's all ads all the way around.

• 1:03:12Hannah Berner?

  It's all capitalism.

• 1:03:13Paige DeSorbo?

  It's all capitalism.

• 1:03:15Hannah Berner?

  I want to apologize to the academy because I actually am really annoying about talking about this this episode. I never do this if you're a non-gigler.

• 1:03:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Enough with this guy.

• 1:03:23Hannah Berner?

  I never do this, but he has a really funny joke that I need to tell and I'm gonna butcher it, but he talks about how.

• 1:03:32Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna butcher, okay, going down on a girl is kind of like the end of a basketball game, like when she says she's about to come. It's like a basketball game saying there's only two minutes left. There's actually not two minutes left and it's gonna take forever. Um, so shout out to men in sports and men in the bedroom. I hope you give women actual orgasms.

• 1:03:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I was talking to one of my girlfriends. Actually, she's not, she's one of my girlfriend's girlfriends.

• 1:03:56Hannah Berner?

  Important?

• 1:03:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so she's like my friend in law.

• 1:03:58Hannah Berner?

  Girls, girl?

• 1:03:59Paige DeSorbo?

  She was my friend in law. So I like, I don't really know her, but I was with one of my friends and she was there, whatever. And she was talking about she had just recently broken up with her boyfriend and I was like, oh my God, like what? Just like asking normal questions about it. And I don't know how. One does, but we got on the topic of like, well, how was your sex? Like, was it good or not? And she was like, no, like, I never came, not once. Like, I used to fake it a lot. Mind you, this girl is, I think she was maybe like twenty six, twenty five, twenty six, whatever. And

• 1:04:28Hannah Berner?

  I didn't nickel.

• 1:04:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, literally. And I was like, oh, my God, like, did you ever talk to him about it? Or like, did you ever have conversations? Like, did he know you weren't coming? Or did he know you were ever faking it? And she was like, yes, one time I didn't fake it. And he, and I was like, oh, I didn't come or something. And he said, yeah, all my girlfriends like have a really hard time coming. And I was like,

• 1:04:55Hannah Berner?

  The gaslighter of the century.

• 1:04:57Paige DeSorbo?

  God.

• 1:04:57Hannah Berner?

  He's like, for some reason, I'm attracted to girls that don't know how to come.

• 1:05:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he like put it all out. He was like, yeah, something weird happens and like, they have a really hard. And I was like, why would he say that? Why would he admit that?

• 1:05:10Hannah Berner?

  Have you ever hooked up with a guy and immediately, when he's like, yeah, I had a girlfriend for like six years? And you're like, oh, you never made her come.

• 1:05:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Hannah Berner?

  And in your twenties, at least, like, it's less embarrassing to be like, hey, that's my thigh. Once you're here, stop moving. But when a guy's in his thirties, you start to be like, holy shit, like, no girl. Somehow, girls

• 1:05:31Paige DeSorbo?

  When you get to the point where you're closing your eyes and picturing someone else, yeah.

• 1:05:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, maybe I should leave.

• 1:05:37Hannah Berner?

  Or you're just like, hey, let mama handle this. You're like mentally, I have to shift into a new strategy right now. Cause this continuum is

• 1:05:46Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, look, some Mandela effect is happening, but I have to leave my present body. Go somewhere else. I'll be back in three seconds.

• 1:05:53Hannah Berner?

  What's it called? They say that you could like

• 1:05:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Levitate?

• 1:05:56Hannah Berner?

  You can go to a different realm or something. That's what girls do all the time. Your friends, especially your best friend's boyfriend or husband. That is your coworker.

• 1:06:10Hannah Berner?

  That is so fucking

• 1:06:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And he works remote.

• 1:06:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Not only is he my coworker-

• 1:06:16Hannah Berner?

  You don't know what he does. You've heard from her what he's like in the office.

• 1:06:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 1:06:21Hannah Berner?

  Um, but you're not in meetings with him.

• 1:06:22Paige DeSorbo?

  We're not on, yeah, we're not in the same group-

• 1:06:24Hannah Berner?

  You see him at the water, at the water-

• 1:06:26Paige DeSorbo?

  At the water fountain.

• 1:06:26Hannah Berner?

  Fountain.

• 1:06:27Paige DeSorbo?

  You see him passing, like, going to the bathroom.

• 1:06:29Hannah Berner?

  You can tell if he's like in a mood or not, but that's pretty much it. And then, when you leave the company, um, you never speak to him again.

• 1:06:35Paige DeSorbo?

  He's also like, kind of similar to like, like, your aunt's husband that she divorced, but still comes to holidays.

• 1:06:44Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, he's also kind of like that family member, where it's like, we don't see him a lot, but he's part of our family, but not blood related.

• 1:06:52Hannah Berner?

  Yes. And you know that he could get fired at any moment.

• 1:06:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:55Hannah Berner?

  And that's-

• 1:06:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you never saw him again, or talked to him, you'd like-

• 1:06:58Hannah Berner?

  Wouldn't affect anything.

• 1:06:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:06:59Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 1:06:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:00Hannah Berner?

  100%, 100%. Well, I'm glad we figured that out. You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. I have my last weekend of tour. Going to North Carolina. I know, this weekend, North Carolina, two more shows. If you're in North Carolina, I'll see you there.

• 1:07:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Just North Carolina?

• 1:07:15Hannah Berner?

  Just North Carolina.

• 1:07:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:07:16Hannah Berner?

  How are you?

• 1:07:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye!