Giggling about jet lag, dolphins, and laxatives

Paige joined a cheerleading team and Hannah realized she's not stronger than jet lag.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Cozy season is upon us, which is one of my favorites. I love a chill, crisp morning and I love opening the window and like feeling it on my face. I also love when it's raining and you're having a movie marathon. And that's why you also need Bombas to make your comfiest fall staples. Go with all your favorite fall things. So you can make the most out of one of the best seasons of the year. Like the new suede moccasins are perfect for fall with cushy soles, a sheerling lining and water resistant suede. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to somebody facing housing insecurity. Bombas truly is the best and I've replaced all my socks with Bombas. Head over to Bombas.com/gigglysquad and use code gigglysquad for 20% off your first purchase.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash gigglysquad, code gigglysquad at checkout.

• 0:51Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Like so many people have my location.

• 1:00Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 1:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, oh, you got home, you're, you're calling the FBI.

• 1:08Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 1:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:25Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:33Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:38Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social, like I love everyone, but like.

• 1:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:42Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 2:03Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 2:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 2:08Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 2:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a T-shirt for real.

• 2:13Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 2:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:25Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:26Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:28Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code giggly to get 20% off your next two rides. You could check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to Waymo.com/giggly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 2:47Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is brought to you by Rothies. I'm currently obsessed with my Rothies clogs. I've been seeing them everywhere lately, friends, celebs, airports. I got a pair a couple of years ago and honestly, I wear them in every airport all the time. They're luxe, stylish and so comfortable. They've sold out more than 10 times and once you slip them on, you'll get it. They're unbelievably soft, they go with everything, they're machine washable and they somehow make wearing sweats look intentional. They really are that good. Snag a pair at Rothies.com, you'll never take them off. That's Rothies.com.

• 3:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Gary, fix the wifi.

• 3:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Manifest that shit.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  We can't be managed.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:36Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my guava gigglers. I'm currently in Singapore.

• 3:41Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm currently smack dab in the middle of my Sunday night routine. And I don't mean to be a walking Daphne ad, but my Daphne robe and Daphne hair thing, like I created it for myself. I honestly don't care if anyone buys it. This is for my own Sunday routine.

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  So envious of you having a routine because I, I didn't know jet lag could hit this hard.

• 4:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you were really.

• 4:10Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm a fool.

• 4:11Paige DeSorbo?

  It took you out.

• 4:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm a fool, I'm a cocky, delusional asshole. Cause I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna fly 22 hours and I'll be fucking fine.

• 4:21Paige DeSorbo?

  You were like, jet lag is for actual losers.

• 4:25Hannah Berner?

  It's mental.

• 4:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:27Hannah Berner?

  Well, first of all, I did love the flight, by the way, we get there, slept eight hours immediately. Cause we, we, it was like a midnight flight. Land, then like fuck around for five hours. I watched every episode of Love is Blind.

• 4:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Boston?

• 4:41Hannah Berner?

  Boston, dude, I'm obsessed.

• 4:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm obsessed.

• 4:46Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed.

• 4:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually really like one of the guys.

• 4:51Hannah Berner?

  Can I guess which one you like? Like as a person, like you think he's a good guy? Cam?

• 4:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 4:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, this sweet, sweet Cam and.

• 5:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And then there's one that people think is a good guy, but they.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  No. Oh, I forgot her handle. This girl was like, Love is Blind Boston is just men beard fishing everyone. And she took all the beards off the guys and it was truly abrasive, scary. Like, someone needs to get reported. Some are hiding no chin, some are hiding too much chin. There's a lot going on.

• 5:26Paige DeSorbo?

  One girl was like, I love my career. And he, and the guy was like, uh, first to your children or second to your children? Like your unborn children, like what would you do? I'm like, oh my God, calm down.

• 5:36Hannah Berner?

  Right after she had said to him, like, what are you passionate about? And he was like, my career. Then he said to her, what are you passionate about? And she's like, my career. And he's like, do you even love babies? Have you ever loved a baby?

• 5:47Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like, red flag, serious red flag.

• 5:51Hannah Berner?

  But him and her, Michaela, the Italian one who I followed on Instagram. The one who did that whole speech about the, um, oven cig. And she's like, Christmas night, I just want to be smoking an oven cig and our daughter brings home a date. And I'm like, fuck, fuck, she got a date. Like, I thought.

• 6:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Her scenarios, I'm like, this is my kind of girl. I also love making up the most outlandish scenarios in 10 years from now. I, I love her imagination.

• 6:23Hannah Berner?

  She's amazing. My thing with the show is I'm all for it until they're like, and now you have to propose. Cause I'm like, guys.

• 6:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you get to the part where the guy with the glasses who is a murderer was fighting on the phone?

• 6:38Hannah Berner?

  Oh, we've all been there. We've all dated that guy that some minor inconvenience happens and he's burning down the apartment. And you're like, I want to take a walk around the block.

• 6:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually got really triggered when he was like, but we have good conversation. We have a really good relationship. Don't we tell everyone we have a really good relationship? I was like, oh my God, she's scared.

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  She didn't even bring up him yelling at customer service. She brought up a whole nother scenario that we missed because they lost the luggage. And he was like, I wasn't yelling. And I'm like, that's what men say when they were assholes. But they want to be like, but I didn't yell. And I'm like, you were strongly yelling.

• 7:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You had a strongly worded sentence. He is probably the scariest guy they have on there.

• 7:26Hannah Berner?

  And for all the girls who were judging her for staying with him, even though he doesn't believe in anything she believes in and is like insane. Um, she just wanted love.

• 7:38Paige DeSorbo?

  People will hate her harder for staying than him being a psycho.

• 7:42Hannah Berner?

  I also think though, like Boston people are so inherently funny. Cause they're, they're smart, they're quick and they're just like Irish Italian immigrants with the funniest families.

• 7:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, it's a great season.

• 7:58Hannah Berner?

  And then Aneha, who's like, when my parents find out you're white, they're never going to speak to me again. And he's like, why was this not brought up? But I guess people were saying she didn't think he was white in the pod.

• 8:09Paige DeSorbo?

  She's also hilarious without trying to be.

• 8:12Hannah Berner?

  Well, she does baby voice in the most condescending way, which I respect.

• 8:16Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, and now we don't have any more family, so are you staying? He's like, wait, this is a really big problem. She's like, is it?

• 8:24Hannah Berner?

  I don't know also if I'm 35 and I like, just, I have such a shorter attention span or when it comes to like love and believing in love. When the second I see them have a stupid fight, I'm like, that's not your person. We're like in my twenties, I'm like, they're working it out. Now I'm like, I saw one fight, I'm like, that's not your person.

• 8:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, if you're a man and you're over the age of 35 and you're still like. I don't know, worried about something that happened to you in high school? I'm like, shut up, like, get over it, you know?

• 8:58Hannah Berner?

  It's because we've seen so much, smoke my oven cig. But like, some of the back and forth, I'm also like, it's totally okay to fight, but it's like how these people are fighting. The truth is, is a lot of people, when you get down to like the two people you have chemistry with in the pod, it really is a 50/50 chance, like, there isn't one answer. And I can't wait for the people to come back to see who.

• 9:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 9:22Hannah Berner?

  I can't wait.

• 9:23Paige DeSorbo?

  The next string of episodes is gonna be amazing.

• 9:29Hannah Berner?

  Torture. It's crazy. So anyway, I watched that.

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  What was like the food on the flight?

• 9:34Hannah Berner?

  Oh, okay, so...

• 9:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you're on there a full day, like, how often are they feeding you? Because you need to be fed every two hours.

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  When I got on the flight in America, it's midnight, but they're serving breakfast because they're doing Dubai time. Because it was Emirates.

• 9:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 9:54Hannah Berner?

  So I was like, look, I'm down for breakfast at any time.

• 9:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, who am I to fight with an omelet? Yeah. Bring it here.

• 10:04Hannah Berner?

  So I got the pancakes, because I'm on vacation and I'm party, I party with food. I'm not partying with dancing, I'm not partying with drinking, I'm partying with food.

• 10:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of, I'm actually gonna order a taco. I actually already have it set up in my car. I just seen Tom Hanks go.

• 10:19Hannah Berner?

  I love how you're doing a taco, a side of a taco. So I got the pancakes passed out, then when we landed, it's all kind of a blur, but we get to Dubai. And that was kind of iconic, because I've never been to the Middle East. And, I mean, we just were in the lounge for like three hours, but they had Dubai chocolate, it was pretty authentic. I mean, it's just chocolate there, no, I'm just kidding.

• 10:49Hannah Berner?

  Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh, God. Also, one thing about, that men don't like to do, like, when I was in the airport, I was like, I want to walk through all the gift shops and like all the random shops, like, I just want to browse. And Dez was like, why? And I'm like, I don't know, that's just a hobby, like, obviously I want to look at every little trinket and every little snack that I've never seen before.

• 11:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, you were just sitting for a full day, you probably needed to like stretch your legs.

• 11:19Hannah Berner?

  I need some stimulation, exactly. Also, I didn't even try to do the time change, I just was like, I've lost all my family and friends, I'm just...

• 11:27Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, I'm a time traveler and like, I can't...

• 11:31Hannah Berner?

  I want to be like Paige, this is Hannah from the future.

• 11:36Hannah Berner?

  That's how I felt, I said, Paige, this is Hannah from tomorrow, it's gonna be okay.

• 11:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, I truly felt like you went to space, because I was like, down here on Earth, so much is happening! I'm like, I have so many things I need to laugh with you about, I need you to respond immediately.

• 11:57Hannah Berner?

  I didn't have internet for the 17-hour flight to Dubai. So then we land and Dez is like, have you seen this? And I was like...

• 12:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I sent so many screenshots, I'm actually, I inundated you with screenshots. I go, and then this person said this, and then they responded back, it was amazing.

• 12:16Hannah Berner?

  So I texted you and I was like, give me the tea. Then you text me all the good stuff, and then I get on the next flight to go to Singapore, which is eight hours. So then I look at my phone and you're like, are you alive? And I'm like, sorry, I asked you for the best tea of my life, and then I...

• 12:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Died.

• 12:33Hannah Berner?

  Died. So we land. At this point, like, you don't even know, is it morning, is it night, whatever?

• 12:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:41Hannah Berner?

  But it was 2:00 PM, and Dez was like, we cannot go to sleep, we just have to keep going. So we walked around, I tricked him into going to a cat cafe. Because I was like, I have to meet Singaporean cats, like, see if they...

• 12:57Hannah Berner?

  I've never met a cat from Singapore before.

• 13:03Hannah Berner?

  I don't know what language they speak, primarily English, but they do speak Mandarin here too.

• 13:07Paige DeSorbo?

  So picture you walking in, hi Hannah, America, hi, United States, Hannah.

• 13:14Hannah Berner?

  I also fully tricked him, because sometimes, you know, when one of the people get control of like the Google Maps?

• 13:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Hannah Berner?

  And you're like, I'm directing us, he was like, where are you taking me? I'm like, somewhere fun, of course we get there, and you have to walk up like eight flights of stairs, and I'm like, oh no, we're... This is how it ends the first day in Singapore, and it was the cutest cat cafe. But I reserved dinner, right? And I was like, I want, when we land, to go to like a really nice restaurant. So I found like a Michelin star tasting menu. So we get there at like 6:00 PM, and the second we sit down, we realize...

• 13:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Michelin star, that's like eight hours, isn't it?

• 13:58Hannah Berner?

  Paige?

• 13:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:00Hannah Berner?

  We sat down, by the way, the ambiance was peaceful. It was dark.

• 14:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you're getting sleepy.

• 14:08Hannah Berner?

  There was, it was almost like mandolin spa music, so I look up...

• 14:15Paige DeSorbo?

  They put magnesium like in the air?

• 14:18Hannah Berner?

  They speak like this whenever they come by, hello, can we help you with any, would you like some water or tea? When I tell you...

• 14:26Paige DeSorbo?

  They ASMR you?

• 14:28Hannah Berner?

  They ASMR you, so I see there's like nine...

• 14:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Courses?

• 14:34Hannah Berner?

  Courses.

• 14:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 14:35Hannah Berner?

  But I'm like, sometimes they kind of just, it's fast, you know?

• 14:40Hannah Berner?

  They're like, let's keep it going.

• 14:42Paige DeSorbo?

  They're rolling it up, they're shoving it out, it's quick, yeah.

• 14:47Hannah Berner?

  So, they start with like a bread that's not on the menu, so I'm like, okay, I guess it's 10. And, because I'm like, which one is this? And they're like, this is off-menu, and I was like, oh no.

• 14:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Perfect.

• 14:59Hannah Berner?

  So, I like don't finish my bread, because I'm like, I have a whole year ahead of me, I can't use this bread, I want to eat.

• 15:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Fill up on bread, yeah.

• 15:07Hannah Berner?

  Exactly. But they start taking everyone else's bread away, and they like don't take our table. And then Dez realizes like, they're mad that I didn't finish my bread. And then, so we get behind, like, everyone else is like, they got the first course, the second course, we're sitting there with the bread. Finally, a guy comes up to me, goes, is there something wrong with the bread, ma'am? And I was like, oh my, no, I love bread, I just, we just landed, and I'm a little backed up, and like, I don't want to clog myself with the bread. And he's like, oh, okay.

• 15:39Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, listen, the American gut microbiome, it's not great. If I shove all this bread down, I'll pass out, I'll go right to sleep at this table.

• 15:50Hannah Berner?

  Doesn't I look, banter's our best thing, like, talking to each other is where we thrive. This is the first time ever in our relationship, mid-sentence...

• 15:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You're speechless.

• 15:59Hannah Berner?

  No, mid-sentence, he fell asleep on me.

• 16:03Paige DeSorbo?

  At the restaurant?

• 16:04Hannah Berner?

  Like, I was like, trying to get him going with something, and I saw him lose life in his eyes, and then close.

• 16:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you think that he had a stroke?

• 16:15Hannah Berner?

  Actually, with Dez, every now and then when he sleeps too late, I'm like, I need to check his heartbeat, I'm so scared right now. If he sleeps past 8:00 AM, I'm like, call the police.

• 16:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Something's wrong.

• 16:25Hannah Berner?

  So, I told him, I said, look, because I was facing the restaurant, he was facing me, I was like, you can sleep in between courses, I'll wake you up when they come.

• 16:36Hannah Berner?

  Because mind you, we're two hours in at this point, and we're only halfway through the menu.

• 16:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Why didn't you just get up and leave?

• 16:44Hannah Berner?

  Because it took me three weeks to get this reservation.

• 16:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 16:49Hannah Berner?

  And it's spectacular, like, it is a spectacular meal, but we are...

• 16:55Paige DeSorbo?

  You're losing life.

• 16:55Hannah Berner?

  It felt like I was underwater.

• 16:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You felt like you were getting tortured.

• 16:59Hannah Berner?

  It was a little...

• 17:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, sleep deprivation is torture.

• 17:05Hannah Berner?

  It was a torture chamber of incredible flavors.

• 17:10Hannah Berner?

  Like, I was like, oh, the acidity of that mushroom was spectacular, but I'm dying.

• 17:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, it just exploded in my mouth, but I am going to pass away, I'm getting dizzy.

• 17:21Hannah Berner?

  It was four hours.

• 17:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, whenever something like that happens to me, I just immediately start crying? Because I think I'm gonna die. I'm like, no one in the history of life has ever stayed awake this long, I'm gonna die.

• 17:34Hannah Berner?

  Also, when I landed, I like, I had the worst bloat of my life.

• 17:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I can't imagine.

• 17:42Hannah Berner?

  So I'm like beyond bloated.

• 17:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you bring your compression socks?

• 17:46Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I wore my compression socks, but like, I feel like your body's not prepared for this. So I'm bloated, I'm stuffing like the most random, different, incredible, impeccable flavors in my mouth. And we're getting, you know, they come and they give the story of like how the fish was killed. They're like, this fish was killed innocently from the back of the head, didn't even see it coming.

• 18:09Hannah Berner?

  It was with its family. It was happy before it all went awry. There was no blood.

• 18:15Paige DeSorbo?

  They're British in Singapore?

• 18:18Hannah Berner?

  Actually, everyone speaks English in Singapore.

• 18:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 18:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because it's like a combination of like Malaysian, Chinese, Singaporean. Anyway, regardless, we survived the dinner.

• 18:32Paige DeSorbo?

  How many hours?

• 18:34Hannah Berner?

  It was a four hour dinner.

• 18:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And you texted me into hour what? And we're like, I'm not gonna make it.

• 18:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And you were like, I'm going down. You've got 10 minutes to respond. I was like, oh my God, I'm not prepared. I'm like, there's so much I want to say.

• 18:50Hannah Berner?

  We have to record in the morning. But then I had a whole next day. So we woke up and I'm eating everything. We had this buffet and I'm like, I'm trying everything. So I'm eating curry for breakfast. I'm eating noodles for breakfast. I'm eating blue jasmine rice. I ate everything. They're known for this like chicken rice dish. We go to some like small market. We get it. We're shopping.

• 19:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Like on the street, I heard like their street food is.

• 19:23Hannah Berner?

  Insane.

• 19:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:25Hannah Berner?

  It's like, there's like Michelin star street vendors. So I'm living my best fucking life, eating everything. But then I start getting, um, I hate to be predictable on this pod.

• 19:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Your stomach starts to feel a little funky.

• 19:41Hannah Berner?

  I don't have trouble going to the bathroom. That's never been my problem, ever in my life. People warned me that this is a thing that can happen. Especially when you're layering the most insane flavors that you've ever had in your life. So I was like, Dez, I haven't gone to the bathroom since like the day before we left.

• 20:02Paige DeSorbo?

  So you're three day, you're three, you're.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  Four.

• 20:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 20:07Hannah Berner?

  And we're getting ready to go to dinner and I'm like, I can't button my pants. And then I like can't wear a dress because, and then I was like, wait, do I just pretend I'm pregnant? Like, I was at the point where I'm like, do I just go out and like put my little left hand. Under my stomach and say, it's a boy.

• 20:33Hannah Berner?

  So Dez is like dying laughing, but like it's painful. Like it's like hard.

• 20:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 20:38Hannah Berner?

  And I'm like, no position is right. And I go, we have to go to the pharmacy. Let me just say, right before I texted you, I threw a laxative into my mouth. Texted Paige, see you in the morning and I passed out.

• 20:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, interesting.

• 20:56Hannah Berner?

  Have you ever taken a laxative before?

• 20:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I have, but not before bed.

• 21:00Hannah Berner?

  So I took Dolx Relax. And it says, take it before bed. In five or six hours, emotion will happen in the ocean. Exactly five hours on the dot. I felt like I was giving birth to Satan.

• 21:18Hannah Berner?

  Paige, I was getting the worst cramps of my life.

• 21:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I can't imagine.

• 21:23Hannah Berner?

  It's a pain level that I've never had before because this is layers of Michelin star meals.

• 21:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:29Hannah Berner?

  And non-Michelin star meals that are going through.

• 21:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I should have told you to get some Lemi Deep Loat.

• 21:34Hannah Berner?

  I should have been taking it beforehand.

• 21:36Paige DeSorbo?

  On the plane, yeah.

• 21:38Hannah Berner?

  It like contracts your organs and it like wasn't work. Long story short, I started having a panic attack on the toilet in Singapore, in the hotel room.

• 21:47Paige DeSorbo?

  What time of day is it? It's like the middle of the night?

• 21:51Hannah Berner?

  And that's the question we all want answered. It was one, it was 1:00 AM my time, 1:00 PM your time. So you were like going on your mental health walk or whatever you do around one. I start like, my hands started to go numb because I'm like freaking out that like.

• 22:09Paige DeSorbo?

  What are you nervous about?

• 22:11Hannah Berner?

  That like, I don't, my insides are trying to be on my outsides, but they're not coming out. And like, my, my insides are like contort, like the pain.

• 22:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It is so you to have a panic attack on the toilet because like it's not going the way you expect it. Like.

• 22:27Hannah Berner?

  I know. I'm like, this happens to Paige when she has to perform in front of 4,000 girls. This is happening to me when I just don't like the flow of.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 22:38Hannah Berner?

  But nothing was releasing. Like I was just being tortured. I felt like someone was squeezing my insides. And then I decide, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna faint on the toilet.

• 22:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You decided it. You were like, you know what? Let's take ourselves out of this. Let's just pass out and not deal with this. It's really triggering. It's super traumatic. I'd rather not be here.

• 23:02Hannah Berner?

  This is such a niche experience, but when you're going through it, there's nothing that feels better than lying down with your pants off on the cold bathroom floor.

• 23:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, nothing. That was me in Italy. I was like, this is the best I've ever felt in my life.

• 23:19Hannah Berner?

  So then I'm laughing because I'm like, the poor gigglers, like they just want us to go on one trip. Just one trip that doesn't involve like gastrointestinal drama.

• 23:27Paige DeSorbo?

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• 24:53Paige DeSorbo?

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• 25:36Paige DeSorbo?

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• 26:18Paige DeSorbo?

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• 27:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 27:41Paige DeSorbo?

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• 28:12Hannah Berner?

  I am my father's daughter, which is like, no matter how much my stomach's hurting, I'm not not eating.

• 28:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. See, that's where we're different. I can't even like look at food when I have a stomach ache.

• 28:23Hannah Berner?

  I feel like it's not respectful to their culture to not try every single thing at the buffet.

• 28:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because in some like other countries, it's better to not even go to dinner than to go and insult them.

• 28:35Hannah Berner?

  And not eat.

• 28:36Paige DeSorbo?

  And they get insulted. We're in America. They're like throwing it on the ground. I don't give a fuck. You know, it's really, it's awful. But other countries, they're like, no, this is sustenance. This is nutrients. And we're like, I don't care. It's, we made it in a lab anyway.

• 28:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, they're like, this was made with love. This isn't fucking America. So I'm lying on the cold bathroom floor, fully having a panic attack.

• 28:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Where's Dez?

• 29:01Hannah Berner?

  So he's in the bedroom. And at that moment, I'm like, what if my husband comes in like right now? Just me lying with a big shirt, no pants on, like a toddler, just belly up.

• 29:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Belly up?

• 29:17Hannah Berner?

  Cause it's still, I'm literally, you know, when you see a toddler who has like a fat belly and no pants on? That was literally me, because I'm so constipated.

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, they're not fat, but you're like, why is their stomach so round?

• 29:31Hannah Berner?

  Why does that two-year-old have a beer belly?

• 29:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, why is that? Maybe it's like their organs are developing or something?

• 29:38Hannah Berner?

  No, but it's so cute. But it wasn't cute on me. Finally, my husband, I get back on the toilet, and he knocks, like, hey, are you okay in there? And I'm like,

• 29:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Hannah Berner?

  Not really. And then I'm like, but go back to sleep. And he's like, I can't go back to sleep after you telling me that you're like, having a panic attack.

• 29:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Leave me. Leave yourself. Look away.

• 30:02Hannah Berner?

  This is marriage, though. Like, I feel like if we were first dating, I'd be like, help me, like,

• 30:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:07Hannah Berner?

  Like, hold my hand. Now I'm like, let me deal with this. Like, I don't need to deal with you also.

• 30:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally, there's nothing better than when you're comfortable enough to be like, I'm dealing with a lot and adding you to this list, I'll kill you. Like, I'll literally kill you.

• 30:22Hannah Berner?

  Then at one point, I'm like, do I go to the Singaporean hospital for the bit? One thing about me, though, I'm not going to the hospital.

• 30:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 30:33Hannah Berner?

  And that could be how I go, but like, some people are very easy to be like, just call 911 and let's, I'm not doing paperwork. I'm not.

• 30:40Paige DeSorbo?

  In another country, I'd rather book a flight home. And no.

• 30:44Hannah Berner?

  I thought about it. I was like, would the gigglers be disappointed if I flew 22 hours to Singapore, got too constipated?

• 30:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:53Hannah Berner?

  Poisoned myself with a laxative and said, get me back on the plane?

• 30:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I was this close in Italy to being like, I'm going home. Like, if they said to me, I had to go to the hospital, I was like, I'm going home. I'm not doing this.

• 31:07Hannah Berner?

  And I had a full day. I walked 10,000 steps. I saw all of Singapore. I had all the local, you know, food and I met a ton of people.

• 31:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You walked 10,000 steps and it didn't churn anything in there?

• 31:23Hannah Berner?

  Paige. Something sick, something evil was happening inside me, like demonic.

• 31:30Hannah Berner?

  I really started walking like a pregnant woman. You know when your feet start going out and you're like flopping?

• 31:38Hannah Berner?

  My algorithm is so crazy. I started getting TikToks for stretchy jeans for pregnant women.

• 31:47Hannah Berner?

  Like, how is the algorithm so good?

• 31:53Hannah Berner?

  But I knew I was okay, because I was like farting. They say like, if you can't fart, like, that's

• 32:00Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a bad sign.

• 32:02Hannah Berner?

  But the farts were

• 32:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you like legitimately thought that something gastrointestinal was happening?

• 32:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was on a blockage. Yeah, so they were like, as long as you're not, as you can fart, there's like something flowing. But then the farts like weren't smelly. It was more like gasping of air. It was like, ah, ah.

• 32:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You should have done that thing that they do to babies when they do like a bicycle with their legs and then like push down.

• 32:29Hannah Berner?

  So with laxatives, there's two options. You could take a suppository.

• 32:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:33Hannah Berner?

  And you just put it up your ass. And within 15 to 30 minutes, you just like explode. It's like a cartoon's TNT.

• 32:41Paige DeSorbo?

  You were using your second hole.

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  So I

• 32:46Paige DeSorbo?

  You were embracing your second hole. In Singapore, you're very crazy over there.

• 32:52Hannah Berner?

  I do my thing, and then I'm just afraid it's gonna come back in waves, like throughout the night. Cause I'm like, I already haven't slept. This is, I actually, it was one of the darker moments in my life.

• 33:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:04Hannah Berner?

  I'm almost around the corner with my master massacre, and now this is happening. But I actually had quite a peaceful sleep.

• 33:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Good.

• 33:11Hannah Berner?

  I'm still backed up, but I went to breakfast.

• 33:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 33:17Hannah Berner?

  I had, I've had some muesli. I asked for a coconut. They brought me a young coconut.

• 33:22Paige DeSorbo?

  What the hell is a young coconut?

• 33:24Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. I was like, do you guys have coconut water? I'm a little dehydrated. I had a little crazy night last night. And they were like, here's a young coconut.

• 33:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that.

• 33:32Hannah Berner?

  And

• 33:32Paige DeSorbo?

  When do you come home? How long are you there for?

• 33:35Hannah Berner?

  Well, this is the thing.

• 33:36Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't know what day or time.

• 33:38Hannah Berner?

  Dez has a show tonight, apparently. He says. And then we get on a flight for Vietnam.

• 33:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 33:46Hannah Berner?

  And we stay there for two days, then we get on a flight for Hong Kong. So like,

• 33:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, no. So you're like going back up in the air and like,

• 33:55Hannah Berner?

  I'm so scared.

• 33:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you need to take like some deep blow, like when you got on the plane, just like regular, like,

• 34:04Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what it reminded me of? Do you remember like Kylie Jenner promoting like, what was it, tummy tea or something?

• 34:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you would like would kill for a tummy tea. That's really just like mint. Like, and like mint tea is basically that.

• 34:18Hannah Berner?

  I thought it was like lax, like girls were out here just like shitting themselves, being like, tummy tea, look how small weight my waist looks after I've shat myself and I'm so dehydrated from diarrhea.

• 34:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think there's laxatives in the tea, but maybe.

• 34:34Hannah Berner?

  So you never did a tummy tea back in the day?

• 34:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I never did a tummy tea. But I've done like a detox tea, like after you get a lymphatic, where it's just basically like,

• 34:42Hannah Berner?

  You love saying lymphatic.

• 34:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Lemon, ginger. Like, I'm in a spa, like, I'm spying right now. I had an eventful weekend as well.

• 34:53Hannah Berner?

  Well, you were living your like college football dreams?

• 34:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, Joe says, do you want to go to the game on Saturday? And I don't know why, in my head, I was like, yeah, I'll go to the basketball game.

• 35:08Paige DeSorbo?

  And he goes, no, football game. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what, because someone was talking about the Knicks the day before. And so I just like, was like, oh, yeah, basketball started.

• 35:18Hannah Berner?

  Isn't it so funny? There's games everywhere you go. Like, you can't get away from the game.

• 35:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I can't get away from sports. And so then I'm like, oh, okay, perfect. Miami colors are orange and turquoise. And I have this vintage turquoise dress that I've been like, I haven't worn in years. It's perfect for the game. Joe goes, the game is Saturday morning. And I'm like, oh, like, the NFL plays on Saturday mornings? And he's like, this is college. So now I'm like, okay, not only have I messed it up once, I've now messed it up twice. I have no outfit.

• 35:51Hannah Berner?

  Wait, because you can't wear turquoise vintage dress for the morning college game?

• 35:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because their colors are not turquoise.

• 35:59Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Their colors are dark green and orange. So I'm like, okay.

• 36:03Hannah Berner?

  Orange.

• 36:04Paige DeSorbo?

  So I put on these like orange cute little shorts. Love my outfit. I crimp my hair because she's different in Miami. My second hole is popping off. My hair is crimped.

• 36:13Hannah Berner?

  College, throwback.

• 36:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like it's going to college. I'm crimping my hair. So I get there. I immediately have a hot dog. I post to the cheerleaders because I'm like, not only do they have a cheerleading team and a dance team, I'm sat. I'm sitting there and I hear someone say Paige. And so like, I look over, Bethenny Frankel.

• 36:34Hannah Berner?

  Why was she at the Miami football?

• 36:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, but she said hi to me, almost as if like, how dare I not tell her I was gonna be there? But we've never met before, but I got nervous.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I got nervous.

• 36:48Hannah Berner?

  You were like, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I was coming.

• 36:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally, she was like, what are you doing here? And I was like, I, I actually, I was last minute. I didn't know. I thought I was going to a basketball.

• 36:56Hannah Berner?

  I'm not avoiding you. I swear I'm not avoiding you.

• 36:59Paige DeSorbo?

  So whatever, she sat next to me the whole time. We chatted.

• 37:02Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god.

• 37:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Her daughter is so cute and nice. And then, um, someone comes up to me and was like, the cheerleading team would love to meet you. And I was like, I would love to meet the cheerleading team.

• 37:14Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I've been staring at them the whole time.

• 37:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, that's the only thing I've been watching. I go down, I meet the girls, and then this guy walks over to me and he is like, do you want to go, do you want to be on the Jumbotron? And I'm like, I've never been on a Jumbotron. And so I got nervous, because I was like, wait, what do people actually do on a Jumbotron at a game? I didn't have a drink in my hand, so I couldn't like chug it and be fun. I look at Joe and I'm like, what do I do? And he goes, just be yourself.

• 37:43Hannah Berner?

  He's a stage mom.

• 37:45Paige DeSorbo?

  He goes, I don't know, you're a natural. Just like, do whatever comes to your head. And so the camera guy was like, you can throw up like the symbol. And so I made it into a dance routine. And I just like, that's what I did.

• 37:57Hannah Berner?

  Did he know how long your, your fingers were, though?

• 38:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, he didn't. And he goes, it's gonna be on you for five seconds. In my head, I was like, thank god I didn't wear the turquoise dress. I would have been a laughing stock.

• 38:11Hannah Berner?

  Well, I just think it's so funny with sports, because you're like, yeah, I'm going to the college sports game. Then I go on Instagram, you're on the Jumbotron, you're dancing with the cheerleaders. I'm like, she played in the game. She's the quarterback. You're one of those people, like, even if you want to be in the background, like, you stay quiet, you don't say anything, you don't do anything. People still throw you to the front.

• 38:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Every time I go to a professional sporting event, something happens to me that I'm like, I didn't intend on this. Like, I did not plan for this. I'm really like, why? Leave me alone.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  Sports really embraces you.

• 38:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it really embraces me.

• 38:48Hannah Berner?

  Could you imagine yourself like in college, every Saturday, having like a football game day?

• 38:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, well, I'm gonna go back for the homecoming because the cheer

• 38:58Hannah Berner?

  The girls were like, do you want to come to homecoming? I was like, yeah, I mean, I freaking love a homecoming. Are you going to a dance after like, incoming?

• 39:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sitting at the game and I say to Joe, I'm like, it's so crazy that these are kids out there. These are kids. And he's like, he's like, these are grown men that are like six, five. And so we're down on the field and he's like, do they still look like kids to you? Cause like, they're huge. And I go, they can't even legally drink yet. Yeah, but it's a baby. That's a child that I could have birthed.

• 39:29Hannah Berner?

  They are, they're like barely forming sentences. They're scared, they're calling their mom.

• 39:34Paige DeSorbo?

  In my head, I'm like, if I was a teen mom, these would be my children.

• 39:38Hannah Berner?

  I watch NFL games like they're my children because they're on my fantasy league. So I'm like, don't you touch my son? Don't you hurt him?

• 39:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Because we're in our thirties, if you're younger than thirty, I'm like, that's a baby. That's a little sweet girl.

• 39:53Hannah Berner?

  I'm thirty-five. If I were to meet a thirty-four-year-old man, I'd say, sweet baby, how can I help you in this life? What do you need to learn?

• 40:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, you don't know anything.

• 40:03Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God.

• 40:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you want to know what I did today that was like so me and so self-care?

• 40:10Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 40:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I charged all my things. Anything that needs a charge, I charged it. I charged every pair of headphones in my home.

• 40:20Hannah Berner?

  We had such different days.

• 40:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I charged a mirror. I said, I didn't even know you needed to be charged. I thought you ran on batteries. I charged that mirror. I charged my phone. I charged my iPad. I charged, I charged this computer that I'm on. Everything got charged. And it brought me such joy. I can't express to you. I felt, you want to feel accomplished and you're tired? Charge something.

• 40:45Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's my problem with vibrators. I've, they're never charged at the right time. You feel like a freak to be like randomly on a Tuesday to be like, let's charge my vibrators.

• 40:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Or you're like, I'm not charging it out in the open. Like this, I have to put it in the bathroom somewhere. What am I just like?

• 41:04Hannah Berner?

  When are people charging it? When are people charging it? Cause you're not doing it before, because the moment's over, babe. You're not doing it after, because you're like, don't know what's happening after.

• 41:14Paige DeSorbo?

  All vibrators should be on batteries because that's just like, I'm not putting my USB C in my vibrator the same as my computer that I'm on for work. Like, no.

• 41:26Hannah Berner?

  I'm sending a work email, Welch, connected to my, I almost said TaskRabbit.

• 41:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, my vibrator is just plugged into my iPad. Like, no, this, no, I'm an adult. No.

• 41:40Hannah Berner?

  My Roger Rabbit is connected to my Gmail.

• 41:43Paige DeSorbo?

  One thing, wait, I did want to say about going to the football game this weekend. I'm really, I don't think I've ever taken note, but I'm really proud of Florida for having a little whimsy. Like, okay, their professional team, the Dolphins. Cute. Turquoise, orange, the Hurricanes. Like, they're very, like, I appreciate the whimsy that they put forth. You know?

• 42:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 42:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like no one talks about them.

• 42:11Hannah Berner?

  I realized that if men got their periods, they would call it the red zone. They'd be like, bro, I'm in the red zone.

• 42:19Paige DeSorbo?

  They would try and make it like so much harder, you know?

• 42:22Hannah Berner?

  Like, like they're about to win. They're like, I'm in the red zone, bro. Watch out, I'm so close to my red zone.

• 42:30Hannah Berner?

  Oh, wait, okay, I have a, I have a little announcement.

• 42:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:34Hannah Berner?

  One thing about me is, God forbid, I just like relax, you know? God forbid, I relax. Um, I've had this like idea for like three years that I was, that I've never, I haven't done, but I've been thinking about it. And I would like go on tour with people and I'd talk to my comedy friends and you. And be like, I have this idea for this show, but I don't have the time or the energy.

• 42:56Hannah Berner?

  But I'm officially launching it. It's been filmed. Now, the concept came from the idea that so many gigglers listen to Giggly Squad when they work out. And they're like, I, or I listen to something that makes me laugh. And then like, I'll have a YouTube video trying to teach me how to work out. And I'm like, what if you combine these things? Cause I personally hate working out. I've gotten really out of shape and like, I can't get myself motivated and I need to laugh. Like, I lose focus so easily. And I'm also the person at the gym with you. I'm talking. I'm talking the whole time. If we're jogging, I'm talking, I'm talking. I'm like, let's get through this workout through gossip and fun and laughter. Also, laughter is good for your abs.

• 43:36Paige DeSorbo?

  You just said gospel for a minute. You're like, and I'm praying, I found Jesus and I'm like.

• 43:42Hannah Berner?

  I'm preaching. I do pray while I work out for sure. I'm like, help me get through this. So I decided to create this thing called Gym Class. The slogan is, on Wednesdays, we work out. And I have all my funniest comedian friends with like.

• 43:57Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so millennial and I'm passionate about that. I love that.

• 44:02Hannah Berner?

  And I made the Instagram handle, I love Gym Class, like L U V, like it's an AIM screen name.

• 44:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:09Hannah Berner?

  So I got all these like amazing celebrity trainers that I would have never worked out with if I wasn't like trying to make content. And all my funniest comedy friends. And we just do these like twenty, thirty-minute workouts with like comedy in it. But it's like a real workout. So like, everyone, we're getting back in shape.

• 44:30Paige DeSorbo?

  This is on YouTube.

• 44:31Hannah Berner?

  This is on YouTube. So it's like, the winter's upon us. It's so easy to start like feeling like a piece of shit, but I want to be healthy. And every Wednesday, I'm going to post a new video of a different workout. And I think we all should do it, ala Kayla Itzeness. It's giving BGG. What was that workout everyone was doing?

• 44:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, yeah.

• 44:51Hannah Berner?

  Well, you weren't on that algorithm at all.

• 44:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I wasn't in there.

• 44:53Hannah Berner?

  You never were on Fitness Girl algorithm.

• 44:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Not really, no.

• 44:58Hannah Berner?

  I also feel like workouts are intimidating. Like even as a former D1 athlete, when I go to the gym, I'm like, I don't need all this bullshit. So this is like, you could do it at home, you could do it in the gym. Also, after the Shane Gillis monologue, I was like, let's do, be some Gym Class whores. Like, let's shake our ass.

• 45:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Autumn in New York is booked and busy, and so am I. It's shows, dinners, it's tennis, it's being on your feet from ten in the morning until midnight in shoes that were probably not built for walking. And I love it. I do. But there is a stretch where I was getting home at one in the morning and just collapsing. And the first thing I finally clocked is that one part of that month that actually needed to be working was the sleep part. That's the only recovery you can get and my mattress was not holding up its end. The issue was, I had zero bandwidth to fix it. Have you ever tried to research mattresses? A thousand brands, everyone online says something different. And I could not tell you what half the words on the tag meant.

• 46:01Paige DeSorbo?

  So I went into Mattress Firm and I talked to a sleep expert. Mattress Firm's sleep experts make it simple to find your perfect bed. I told them how I actually sleep. They narrowed it down and that was that. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm during the upgrade, your sleep sale. They make sleep easy. You know when someone walks into a room and you're like, okay, she has something. It's confidence, it's that effortless, put-together energy. Honestly, a lot of time, it's the smile. Well, it doesn't happen by itself. There's chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste is clinically proven to remove fifteen years of stains when you brush twice daily for only two weeks. The formula is powered by hydrogen peroxide complex.

• 46:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Colgate's unique formulation of hydrogen peroxide, which is the ingredient dentists use to whiten teeth. Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste works at the molecular level to gently dissolve stains deep within the enamel where your brush can't reach. I have to drink my daily coffee every morning. I literally go to bed thinking about it. So cutting out coffee is just not an option for me when it comes to whitening my teeth. And a good smile is kind of like a great outfit. You don't always know why someone looks put together, you just know that they do. I love that Colgate Optic White Pro Series Toothpaste works on those everyday stains while still being enamel safe for daily use. It's proof that daily routine can be remarkable. That's the science of wow, Colgate Optic White.

• 47:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises, I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram, but there's really never any planning behind it and you know I hate a workout class. That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like you have a personal trainer in your headphones. I've been using this for a while now and I also feel and see myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now. So that will definitely be my next workout venture.

• 48:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And for less than one dollar a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether I'm doing it all correctly. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use our link to get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and ten dollars off your first month if you join. Today's episode is sponsored by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. We won Podcast of the Year, we wrote a book, we have a tour, we have a company. Technically, we are business women now.

• 48:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And honestly, that's terrifying because you don't build a company out of giggling without eventually having to learn how money works. We learned in public, mostly by getting things wrong at first, like finding out our money could be earning money just by sitting there. Because apparently having money sit in a checking account doing absolutely nothing is not a financial strategy. That's where SoFi can help. SoFi Checking and Savings can help your money actually work harder for you. You can earn a competitive APY with eligible direct deposit and there are no account fees. You can also get paid up to two days early with direct deposit, track your spending, save toward your goals, and manage everything in one app. And right now, you can earn up to fifty dollars or four hundred dollars cash bonus

• 49:42Paige DeSorbo?

  when you open a SoFi Checking and Savings account and set up eligible direct deposit of at least one thousand dollars. Terms apply. So take it from two business women who had to learn a lot of this stuff too. Make your money work a little harder. Open a SoFi Checking and Savings account today. Head to sofi.com/giggly to learn more and get started. SoFi Checking and Savings is offered through a SoFi Bank, N A Member FDIC.

• 50:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of gym class, I have a new fixation snack.

• 50:16Hannah Berner?

  I love how you're like, speaking of gym, I love to eat.

• 50:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of working out, snack time. Pretzel sticks, has to be a pretzel stick.

• 50:25Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 50:25Paige DeSorbo?

  In peanut butter.

• 50:26Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 50:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Done.

• 50:28Hannah Berner?

  Have you ever had the pretzels that have the peanut butter inside them?

• 50:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I have, but the quality of that peanut butter, not up to my standards. If it's not a Skippy, I'm not, like, I'm not.

• 50:41Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 50:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I only fuck with Skippy.

• 50:43Hannah Berner?

  I kind of like the gusher feeling of it, where like, it explodes in your mouth. No?

• 50:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, it's not for, no, it's not for me. Unless they're collabing with a reputable peanut butter and not...

• 50:59Paige DeSorbo?

  No, seriously, I'm taking, I take peanut butter really seriously.

• 51:02Hannah Berner?

  You're like, I'm about to turn 34, I don't need anything exploding in my mouth, babe. I'm trying to lower my cortisol levels.

• 51:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Peter Pan peanut butter?

• 51:12Paige DeSorbo?

  No, not me, babe.

• 51:13Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember when Justin's peanut butter came out? And everyone was like, this is the first ever healthy peanut butter in a ketchup packet. It comes in a ketchup packet.

• 51:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but like...

• 51:23Hannah Berner?

  It was iconic.

• 51:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not good. It's like, it's goo, it's good for being a healthy peanut butter, but when I want like, a real peanut butter, I'm not grabbing Justin's.

• 51:33Hannah Berner?

  The truth is, everything is healthy as long as you don't overdose.

• 51:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 51:38Hannah Berner?

  Like, oh, your peanut butter has sugar in it? Yeah, you're gonna be fine, babe.

• 51:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you remember when we were in middle school, there was like, a rumor going around that there was like, rat poop in all peanut butter, no matter what?

• 51:51Hannah Berner?

  Your mom started that. She was like, everyone eat eggplant parmesan. Enough of this peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. There's rat poison in it.

• 51:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

• 52:01Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, my snacks really are just like, middle school, after-school snacks.

• 52:08Hannah Berner?

  If you're in your peanut butter era.

• 52:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:10Hannah Berner?

  You gotta do toast.

• 52:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 52:12Hannah Berner?

  Peanut butter, sliced up banana, a little bit of honey, toasted. So you have the crispness on the outside and the softness on the inside. It's really a pleasurable experience.

• 52:23Paige DeSorbo?

  That sounds nice. And I do envy people that have, um, what are they even called? Like, not, it's a mic, it's not, it's a microwave, but it's not, it's a oven? But it's in...

• 52:36Hannah Berner?

  Yes, microwave oven.

• 52:37Paige DeSorbo?

  What is that called? Yeah.

• 52:42Hannah Berner?

  Moven? McCrubbin?

• 52:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Why couldn't I think of that? Two words put together.

• 52:49Hannah Berner?

  That's me, I'm like, what's a paper towel?

• 52:51Paige DeSorbo?

  The first time I ever saw a microwave oven, I feel like in someone's home, I was like, you guys are rich.

• 52:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that, like, I've never seen that before. And I feel like I need to get one of those, because I need to make more paninis.

• 53:04Hannah Berner?

  I'm still trying, I'm still trying to just get a microwave. Wait, by the way, people don't talk about it enough. What's his name? George, the George Formans?

• 53:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:16Hannah Berner?

  That man, he had a boxing career, he could have been done, he could have been just like, in Vegas.

• 53:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think he's a billionaire.

• 53:22Hannah Berner?

  Betting all his money away. He creates George Formans.

• 53:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:25Hannah Berner?

  Which is literally like, when your name becomes the product, like...

• 53:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:29Hannah Berner?

  That's fucking huge.

• 53:30Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a household name. That's what they mean, that's, he is the household name.

• 53:35Hannah Berner?

  He is the male Martha Stewart.

• 53:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:37Hannah Berner?

  And it was genius. Like, that makes it a panini, a George Foreman, I feel like. You just press it. And I feel like you get a little workout with your forearm, because...

• 53:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I need to look into panini presses.

• 53:48Hannah Berner?

  Oh god, we're so in our 30s right now. We're so in our 30s.

• 53:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you know, because I never used to be a fan of a hot sandwich. But as I get older, I think about them more.

• 53:58Hannah Berner?

  You never fucked with Quiznos?

• 54:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 54:01Hannah Berner?

  See, when I went to the Midwest, they had Quiznos.

• 54:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think I've ever even walked into a Quiznos, never even eaten at a Quiznos.

• 54:08Hannah Berner?

  You've never dabbled in Quiznos. Have you ever, you go to Subway and you don't get it toasted?

• 54:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't. I'm a cold sandwich girl. For a lot of, for, I'm a cold, over-hot for a lot of things.

• 54:22Hannah Berner?

  You get an Italian BMT without toasting it?

• 54:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm cold, no.

• 54:27Hannah Berner?

  A cold salami?

• 54:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I don't like warm meats.

• 54:29Hannah Berner?

  A cold sopressata?

• 54:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I think there's something gross about a warm piece of salami. I'm like, no, it's gotta be cold.

• 54:39Hannah Berner?

  Oh, okay, I see your, okay, I see your points, I see your points.

• 54:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's interesting. We're different in that way.

• 54:45Hannah Berner?

  We're different, but that's what makes us beautiful.

• 54:47Paige DeSorbo?

  But like, I would make a hot peanut butter and jelly.

• 54:51Hannah Berner?

  You want like, a melted peanut butter, with the oil coming out?

• 54:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I would, I would do that. I would make that over like, a hot turkey sandwich.

• 55:00Hannah Berner?

  By the way, guys, this is how we dirty talk.

• 55:04Paige DeSorbo?

  This is important information.

• 55:06Hannah Berner?

  Is it slowly dripping?

• 55:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna be honest, I have seen some things online where it's like, they sold out Madison Square Garden? Like, that's really, and I'm like, what do they talk about? I'm like, really important topics.

• 55:21Hannah Berner?

  Wait, this is my anxiety, but you know when like, good stuff happens to you? And then you get scared, like, something bad's gonna happen to you?

• 55:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I've been in the house all weekend. I'm gonna, I'm freaking out. I won't even open my phone, I have 700 text messages. I'm like, someone's trying to kill me.

• 55:36Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say that I have been enjoying some of the think pieces on Madison Square Garden. I just think like, the timing of it all, like, coming out right after Pete Davidson went online. It was like, women don't do shit, they talk to the phone and they have careers, this is bullshit. And then Shane saying that women are whores for going to the gym. Oh, I did go to a Buddha temple.

• 55:58Paige DeSorbo?

  How was that?

• 55:59Hannah Berner?

  Gorgeous. And you'd love it, because it was like, gold, and there's all these like, body positive statues everywhere.

• 56:06Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, have the hot peanut butter and jelly, guy.

• 56:10Hannah Berner?

  And this guy comes up to me, and he's like, holding something at me. And I'm a New Yorker, so I'm just immediately like, no, thank you. Like, I don't even look at what it is, I just say, no, thank you.

• 56:25Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, this girl disgraces our whole culture.

• 56:27Hannah Berner?

  No, literally, so the guy's like, he's holding, like, um, it looks like a flat paper thing. And I'm just like, I don't want free stuff, sir, no thank you. And then Dez like, nudges me, and he's like, you have to take it. And I'm like, I don't wanna take this man's thing, like, I don't need...

• 56:43Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, now I'm in charge of this piece of paper?

• 56:45Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I don't, now, I don't, I've never read a pamphlet in my life, I don't want a pamphlet. And the guy's like, no, and he hands it to me, and I open it up, and it's an apron. And I was wearing my Daphne shorts. And apparently, if you're a woman, your knees can't be out. And I was like, I felt like Shane Gillis saw me at the gym. I was like, put this, so then, then I'm all in, though, because now I'm like, oh, this is their culture. So I put on this apron, I'm wearing like, a tennis shirt and a full apron, all the way down to my ankles. And I'm dancing around, making Dez take photos of me.

• 57:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine if that's the moment your ex-lax decided to hit?

• 57:27Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, I'm actually gonna need this right now.

• 57:31Hannah Berner?

  Also, thank god I took it at night. Thank god I took it at night.

• 57:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:36Hannah Berner?

  Oh, but, um, I also was talking to Dez about haters. And I was like, I love not addressing haters, like, Paige is good with it. I was like, I look up to people who are just like, quiet and focusing on their art.

• 57:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:52Hannah Berner?

  And he was like, who does that?

• 57:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll at you.

• 57:54Hannah Berner?

  See, I was like, I like to just focus on my art and get better at my creativity and what I'm doing. He goes, who do you look up to who does that? And I like, really paused, I was like, who do I look up to who does that? And I was like, Rosalia. And he was like, does she? And I go, actually, most of her interviews are in Spanish, so I don't know what she's saying.

• 58:17Hannah Berner?

  But in my head, she never addresses any haters, then I realize it's because I don't speak Spanish.

• 58:25Hannah Berner?

  Also, she wrote a whole song about her ex called La Perla, where she basically calls him an asshole.

• 58:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm trying to think if there's someone that I'm like, oh, I really look up to them the way they...

• 58:39Hannah Berner?

  Carry themselves with like...

• 58:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, yeah, with people hating them.

• 58:44Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'm always jealous of people who don't have social media, like, I think that's the ultimate fuck you.

• 58:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:50Hannah Berner?

  Which is why, like, I was excited for J-Law, but now, she's in the game and she's having fun with it. So, I support women in the arts.

• 58:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm done now, actually. I'm not in the com... Yeah, no, I'm not.

• 59:03Hannah Berner?

  Do you ever regret a comment?

• 59:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No. You know what I regret? Not saying more, because I actually have way better comments, I have more comments, I have funnier comments.

• 59:14Hannah Berner?

  I think my thing is, I have so much to say that nothing will do it justice, so I need to just...

• 59:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Nothing will do it justice, but just know that there are people in my life that have heard all my comments.

• 59:23Hannah Berner?

  Oh yeah, the comments are happening, it's just not happening.

• 59:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but no, I'm done now, I'm literally, but I, I'm, I'm reading, I'm in there, but I'm not, I'm not, I'm not commenting anymore.

• 59:34Hannah Berner?

  Until tomorrow.

• 59:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm having a sabbatical until tour. I'm really, this is my thing before tour. I'm centering myself, I'm like, I'm doing, I worked out, I've been working out every single day. I've been going in the sauna. I'm doing a hair mask right now, I'm different.

• 59:52Hannah Berner?

  I wanna formally apologize to you, because when I was on the toilet having a panic attack, I thought, and then I pushed her on stage.

• 1:00:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Your hands were numb? Oh, your hands were numb?

• 1:00:05Hannah Berner?

  When my hands were numb and I was lying on the bathroom floor, I'm like, and then I made her sit in front of 3,000 girls.

• 1:00:11Paige DeSorbo?

  My hands didn't just go numb, they contorted. They literally were like that. I couldn't move them. I go, I'm, I'm not alive anymore. I'm actually, the blood is draining from me. That's the only thing I could think of.

• 1:00:21Hannah Berner?

  But I do have to say, once you survive that, like, what are you scared of?

• 1:00:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Nothing. Nothing can knock me down.

• 1:00:27Hannah Berner?

  Like, nothing?

• 1:00:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, my own body has tried to take me out, was like,

• 1:00:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm fine.

• 1:00:33Hannah Berner?

  You're like, my mind has played little riddles on me every day.

• 1:00:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You think I'm scared of you? My brain hates me, okay?

• 1:00:42Hannah Berner?

  Final thought.

• 1:00:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Hannah Berner?

  Drake was seen in his white girl autumn fringed poncho outfit.

• 1:00:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Look, everyone's a fan of Kyle Richards, young, old, man, female. So like, I think he was just, he's in his housewife era, and I love that.

• 1:00:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, wear a shawl when you want to wear a shawl. I don't wear enough shawls.

• 1:01:05Hannah Berner?

  I don't even own a shawl.

• 1:01:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Fringe is so in.

• 1:01:08Hannah Berner?

  It's just so funny, because you have to make such a conscious decision to be like, I'm not going to put a jacket, I'm just going to put a poncho shawl, and it has to fit with the rest of the outfit. Like, that was a full coordinated attack.

• 1:01:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually have a poncho. I've been dying to wear it for the past couple of weeks, so he inspired me.

• 1:01:23Hannah Berner?

  Maybe the next Miami football game.

• 1:01:26Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just me and my poncho.

• 1:01:28Hannah Berner?

  Wait, do we have to do Hannah Page trying new things, learn how to cheerlead with the Miami cheerleading squad?

• 1:01:33Paige DeSorbo?

  We might. I might have to go back up in the air, you know? Once a flyer, always a flyer.

• 1:01:39Hannah Berner?

  You know, I'm giving base. I'm giving base energy.

• 1:01:45Hannah Berner?

  Imagine me flying in the air. I hit a football player accidentally. He's out for the, the whole year.

• 1:01:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that would be a fun one, though, um, at some point. But we have so, we have so many. Really top on my list, I really want to do something with the Rockettes.

• 1:02:00Hannah Berner?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:02:01Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, that's like, I really just, I think about them a lot.

• 1:02:03Hannah Berner?

  When I get back from Asia, one of these days, we'll start planning. Yeah, we'll start planning. But, um, if you guys have any recs for Vietnam or Hong Kong, let me know. Or any recs for just like, motion in the ocean.

• 1:02:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Just staying alive out there, making it home, I would say.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  As you guys know, I don't go to the doctor's office, so this is my doctor's office. So any DMs from doctors are wide open, um, just on how to use laxative properly. And we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. We'll talk to you later. Bye.

• 1:02:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

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• 1:03:10Speaker 04

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