Giggling about peptides, pimples, and football players

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is brought to you by Rothies. I'm currently obsessed with my Rothies clogs. I've been seeing them everywhere lately. Friends, celebs, airports. I got a pair a couple of years ago and honestly, I wear them in every airport all the time. They're luxe, stylish and so comfortable. They've sold out more than 10 times and once you slip them on, you'll get it. They're unbelievably soft, they go with everything, they're machine washable and they somehow make wearing sweats look intentional. They really are that good. Snag a pair at Rothies.com, you'll never take them off. That's Rothies.com. As I get older, I really am obsessed with buying things for different holidays and that includes curating my space.

• 0:38Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you have any questions or need help with your design choices, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week, offering knowledgeable support and even free interior design services to help you get your home right. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com/giggly and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/giggly for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Okay, remember when I told you how excited I was about Lululemon dropping their fall collection on September 8th? Well, the collection is finally here and I just got my hands on a few pieces and let's just say these will be in my rotation on repeat. I got the Groove Yoga Bra and the High Rise Matching Short. They're so buttery soft.

• 2:07Paige DeSorbo?

  They have laser cut pocket openings for optional and removable cups, which I love that because sometimes I don't want to have a bra insert when I'm working out, but sometimes I do. Performance never compromises style at Lululemon. I love their vintage-inspired styles and everything comes in such an assortment of colors. So if you don't want to stick to black, which is my traditional go-to, you can explore other colors. Like I love a burgundy workout set. New styles from Lululemon's fall collection are here. Popular colors go fast, so be on the lookout for those drops. And if something doesn't work out for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com, lululemon.com.

• 2:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup gigglers?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Gary, fix the wifi.

• 2:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Manifest that shit.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  We can't be managed.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:01Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my glass-blowing gigglers? We should do that in a hundred page, try new things. I've never blown a glass once.

• 3:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like a lot of people have never blown a glass.

• 3:13Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not like a thing that people are out here just doing every day.

• 3:15Hannah Berner?

  I feel like people who are like going through something are like, I'm in my glass-blowing era.

• 3:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I wonder how you get into, how you get interested in it.

• 3:23Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, who was like, you know, there's glass, we should blow it.

• 3:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Or like, hey, if you, and I only know this from the movie Speed Home Alabama, like if you electrocute something on the beach, it makes glass.

• 3:34Hannah Berner?

  I have no idea.

• 3:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a pole.

• 3:35Hannah Berner?

  Woman of the week. Early supper, quick housekeeping, the only housekeeping we do, but we're so feminist.

• 3:46Hannah Berner?

  So we moved our Dublin show in Ireland to an arena. Cause the original one, y'all sold out really quick and we were able to move the tickets. We're dealing with a lot of admin right now. We're adding a show in Los Angeles. It's dropping and New York City show is announcing this week.

• 4:10Paige DeSorbo?

  This week.

• 4:11Hannah Berner?

  This week.

• 4:11Paige DeSorbo?

  It's Sunday right now, we're recording.

• 4:13Hannah Berner?

  It's Sunday, I just chugged a dirty chai latte. I'm about to fuck up this pod. How are you?

• 4:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm good, how are you?

• 4:20Hannah Berner?

  You said you have stuff to say. I know you have stuff to say when you walk in and you immediately take out your notes app and you start scrolling with your long ass finger.

• 4:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, one, I have a pimple on the side of my nose, but it's on this side, which I'm so happy about.

• 4:31Hannah Berner?

  Why?

• 4:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you're filming me from this side.

• 4:37Paige DeSorbo?

  So I like woke up this morning and I was like, don't even worry about it.

• 4:40Hannah Berner?

  Doesn't matter.

• 4:42Paige DeSorbo?

  So that was one thing.

• 4:43Hannah Berner?

  But I love your pimples, it makes you so down to earth.

• 4:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you, it makes me relatable. I don't like that.

• 4:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so this weekend I watched so many different things.

• 4:56Paige DeSorbo?

  A lot of love-based things. I went scripted, I went, I went unscripted. I've done so much anthropology, I've done so much research on humans. I watched the new Margaret Qualley movie, Love of Your Life.

• 5:13Hannah Berner?

  Having multiple loves.

• 5:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Didn't know what it was about, just saw her, clicked it, was like, yeah, play. Such a sad movie.

• 5:20Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I hate when that happens.

• 5:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It actually.

• 5:22Hannah Berner?

  Can there be a warning?

• 5:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it was the first movie I've seen that like really encapsulated COVID, like in a very real. Not like apocalyptic way, like in a very real like.

• 5:39Hannah Berner?

  Specific way.

• 5:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 5:40Hannah Berner?

  Not just like COVID was fucked up.

• 5:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And so you watch this movie and you're like, oh my God, like there really is people out here just like being in love and like.

• 5:51Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I switched it over to Love is Blind.

• 5:54Hannah Berner?

  And you were like, never mind.

• 5:55Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a factor.

• 5:57Paige DeSorbo?

  That was a movie, that was a Hollywood movie.

• 6:00Hannah Berner?

  Fanfiction.

• 6:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's get to earth.

• 6:01Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I've just seen the clips, Love is Blind, every season has something wild that goes around the internet.

• 6:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Boston changed my brain chemistry. Boston has, there's only five episodes out. Never in the history of Love is Blind have people seen each other and one person been like, I don't think so.

• 6:21Hannah Berner?

  I saw the clip of the girl with the guy who called himself Kennedy and I couldn't tell that she like didn't like him. Like she was rolling his eyes, but I'm like, who doesn't do that?

• 6:28Paige DeSorbo?

  She was in a classic case of like.

• 6:31Hannah Berner?

  Frozen.

• 6:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, wait, what?

• 6:33Hannah Berner?

  No, but you know, I feel like a lot of boyfriend-girlfriends, the girlfriend's annoyed with him, but that's like their shtick. Like she's like, I can't with him, he's so annoying, I hate him. So it's hard to tell the difference. Oh yeah, he, she said he looked like Mitt Romney.

• 6:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it was, remember when the one girl said that she kind of looked like Megan Fox? And she did.

• 6:50Hannah Berner?

  And she did.

• 6:51Paige DeSorbo?

  And Megan Fox was like, and you do. This guy tried to say he looked like Jude Law. I go, I actually don't think you've ever seen a picture of Jude Law before.

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  He'll never get the kind, the level of hate.

• 7:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Never gets a level of hate. But if you live in Boston and, and this is why we should add another show, the girls are struggling because the men are so scary and not scary in a like, I think you'll kill our whole family.

• 7:17Hannah Berner?

  They're just short.

• 7:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Once you get like fired from your job at some point.

• 7:20Hannah Berner?

  Boston men are small. It's the water, the tea water.

• 7:23Paige DeSorbo?

  They're all sitting down, so I can't ever really tell how tall they are, but it's like a, it's, they don't know who they are. Like that's the only way I can describe it. They don't know who they are. And the way I picked up on it is they would say something, then the girl would say something and then they'd change their opinion. They'd be like, yeah, no, I, yeah, I agree. And I'm like, but you didn't just have that, know who you are.

• 7:50Hannah Berner?

  I'm, yes, like say it with your chest.

• 7:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Have a conviction of something. The men all do kind of look the same and I'm, I don't understand.

• 7:59Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm confused, what did she think a guy from Boston was gonna look like? That's what I'm thrown about. Like it's not like he came out and he had like two heads, like that's, ChatGPT man from Boston, it's that man.

• 8:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think she actually broke up with him because of the way he looked. I think once she got in person with him, his aura was so rampant.

• 8:19Hannah Berner?

  Isn't the point of Love is Blind that you get their aura first?

• 8:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I say something? Love is not blind. It's not. It's never in the history of life will it be blind. It's not blind. Like if I don't want to fuck you, I'm not marrying you, that's insane.

• 8:37Hannah Berner?

  But like, I feel like you're supposed to get people's aura on the pod and be like, even if he's ugly, at least he's nice and he's funny and he's cool.

• 8:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I think she was like iffy in the pod and then once it was in person, she was like, yeah, everything you've said was a lie.

• 8:50Hannah Berner?

  That's her looking at the producers being like, fuck you motherfuckers.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like a classic guy that yeah, had like longer hair, maybe is a little bit taller than the average man and so just lied.

• 9:01Paige DeSorbo?

  And you've seen that before.

• 9:02Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so you're saying he just like.

• 9:04Paige DeSorbo?

  He just made things up.

• 9:05Hannah Berner?

  He wanted to get picked.

• 9:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he was just like.

• 9:07Hannah Berner?

  He was a pick me.

• 9:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he was just like, I'm so rich and I'm so good-looking, blah, blah. And right when she saw him, she was like.

• 9:13Hannah Berner?

  You got me, you got me there. You got me there.

• 9:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think you're rich or good-looking, so. And the things he was saying, it was someone cosplaying rich. Where it was like a rich person, I feel like just wouldn't say that.

• 9:26Hannah Berner?

  I saw Trixie Mattel. I don't see the actual Love is Blind, I see the people making fun of it. So then I have to kind of decide what really happened. But Trixie Mattel was saying that someone was like, do you, are you like pro-choice? And they were like, no. And they're like, are you racist? And they were like, yeah. And she's like, really important things, like do you believe in the same religion? I don't know. And then she was like, okay, you're my person.

• 9:52Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was insane.

• 9:53Hannah Berner?

  What was that? Which one were they?

• 9:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I forget honestly which guy that was. He was like, I didn't want to get the COVID vaccine, but I'm not like an anti-vax or I have other vaccines. And she was like, yeah, I just think in like that situation, there was a lot of misinformation and I chose to trust like the expert scientist and not like this random guy who isn't a scientist.

• 10:16Hannah Berner?

  So by the way, the men love talking about, um, what's this stuff everyone's injecting right now? Peptides? Same guys who are like, I don't trust putting any vaccines in me. But you're putting made up things that have no science behind it from a website that your bro snapchatted you.

• 10:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, can I tell the pod something? I ordered one of the peptides.

• 10:40Hannah Berner?

  I was weirded out that you hadn't because it's so up your alley.

• 10:43Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so up my alley.

• 10:44Hannah Berner?

  You know, I can't right now because I'm, I'm on the bench.

• 10:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I texted a friend, I said, hey, I bet you know someone. And she goes, of course I do.

• 10:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, everyone's got a hookup.

• 10:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Some girl texts me and she was like, hey, what do you want? And I'm like, I don't know, the one that like makes you beautiful.

• 10:57Hannah Berner?

  The one that put sparkles and butterflies coming out of your asshole.

• 11:00Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, cool, coming to your address right now. Gets to my house. I go, what am I doing? I go, what the fuck am I doing?

• 11:07Hannah Berner?

  Tim De Sorbo was shaking.

• 11:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't even, I didn't even open the package. I didn't even get my, my box cutter out to open it. I chucked it right in the trash. Cause I go, what the fuck was I thinking? We don't know where this came from.

• 11:21Hannah Berner?

  No, I have a friend, I'm not going to expose her, but she was like, yeah, you can go through a doctor and it's really expensive, but you go through a non-doctor and it's not expensive. I'm like, look, I did this already at a Miami med spa. I'm just gonna tell you, not worth it long-term.

• 11:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Not worth it.

• 11:34Hannah Berner?

  Also, even if it does make your skin look glowy for like three months, we don't know the long-term side effects.

• 11:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, once you get off of it, it's not.

• 11:40Hannah Berner?

  It goes away. So anyway, I digress. I've got us off topic. My thing is, when the guy was like, I'm a horrible person and she was like, okay, I still like you. I did not judge her. Cause we've all done that. However, normally it's because the guy is six, seven and can carry me around while he's being an asshole. This is, the whole point of Love is Blind is so you don't fall for the tall athletic guy.

• 12:06Paige DeSorbo?

  There was also a guy in there who like could tell, he was picking between two girls. He could tell one of them was hotter than the other.

• 12:15Hannah Berner?

  How?

• 12:16Paige DeSorbo?

  The questions he was asking, I could tell.

• 12:20Hannah Berner?

  He's like, what's your hip to waist ratio?

• 12:23Paige DeSorbo?

  He was like, uh, have you ever dated athletes? And she was like, yeah. And he goes, what sport? And she goes, football and basketball. And he goes, I can tell that like you'd be my type. And like a girl who is dating a football player and a basketball player, yeah, I'm sure she's gorgeous.

• 12:38Hannah Berner?

  Well, I dated a football player and I wouldn't call myself gorgeous, but I have D1. Thank you. But I have D1 athletics. So that's why he dated me. Cause he was like, our kids are gonna dunk.

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So in the Venn diagram there, in the middle is fat ass.

• 12:56Hannah Berner?

  Oh wait, actually, you're my, you're my number one supporter.

• 12:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Of your ass?

• 13:00Hannah Berner?

  You guys, men are so simple.

• 13:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm no better than a man. Not enough people talk about your body. They don't.

• 13:07Hannah Berner?

  Just have something to grab on to and men are just like, yes.

• 13:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. I mean, I don't know how I do in the pod, because I'm, because I'm yappy.

• 13:16Paige DeSorbo?

  What do you mean?

• 13:17Hannah Berner?

  If I was doing Love is Blind.

• 13:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, oh, oh. I think in this pod, I'm like, no, that's the point here.

• 13:21Hannah Berner?

  Crowd work. I go, so how do you pee with a tampon? Me and Love is Blind. Wait, I have to make that up.

• 13:31Hannah Berner?

  If I have diarrhea, what would you, what would you do?

• 13:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No, those are the questions you need to ask.

• 13:35Hannah Berner?

  Can I give them questions for Love is Blind? Cause they're not asking the right questions.

• 13:39Paige DeSorbo?

  You're not asking the right things. I'm, I do wonder how involved. I would assume that the producers are more involved when they couple up than in the pods, because in the pods, it's like.

• 13:49Hannah Berner?

  Okay. Once I had a producer tell me, um, I told him I liked someone and right before he walked away, he said, I just don't see that for you. And walked away. Now, like my best friend wouldn't say that to me, but like having like an adult in the room who's in charge, say that to you.

• 14:07Paige DeSorbo?

  You're so right.

• 14:07Hannah Berner?

  I was spinning. Like I was spinning. I was like.

• 14:10Paige DeSorbo?

  The producers are up in there.

• 14:11Hannah Berner?

  Of course they're like leaning them towards who they think is going to connect to who.

• 14:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Or who's not gonna connect and it's gonna make a more explosive season. Boston is just particularly interesting. I don't know why. The men have really intense egos and then they're like, and for no reason. Cause like one girl was like, what do you do? And he was like, nothing. Like, no, like he had a job.

• 14:35Hannah Berner?

  You guys, we do stereotype states, because we've been to all these states.

• 14:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like he did have a job. He worked on like a boat or something. And he was gone for like 10 weeks at a time. And she was like, okay, but like, how do you have a family and children? And he was like, well, then like I just won't work as much. And then like, maybe you can come with me and the kids can come, like, sir, what the fuck? Like, one of the overarching themes I think of this season specifically, and I've seen it so much, especially just like at our age, men saying, I want a wife and kids, but they don't want to change any single thing about their current life. They want to add in a wife and kids. And like, that just doesn't, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 15:21Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. So if you don't change anything, that means your wife has to literally.

• 15:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Change everything.

• 15:27Hannah Berner?

  And then you wonder why, when you breathe, she looks annoyed.

• 15:30Paige DeSorbo?

  And then like she has the kid and then you have the nerve to be like, she's so different. She used to be so fun. It's like, okay, yeah, because for a year she had a human sucking all of the nutrients out of her body. Then she had it. Now her body's trying to get back and you're like, want a margarita? Like, no, she doesn't want a margarita. She wants to sit for a minute.

• 15:53Hannah Berner?

  More and more, I think about how society, I love our, this is our Sirius Sunday episode.

• 15:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:57Hannah Berner?

  Society leaves women for dead after they have their baby. They're like, get your ass back to work. No, we don't have help for you. No, we don't have health insurance for you. We have nothing for you. I feel like if men were the ones having babies, they would all be in a kingdom.

• 16:10Paige DeSorbo?

  If men got their periods, they'd be out of work for that whole week.

• 16:14Hannah Berner?

  When women become moms and they're having trouble, everyone's like, you're good.

• 16:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, let me take it to one more topic. The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

• 16:23Hannah Berner?

  So it's, it's today.

• 16:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It's today. They're filming it today, but it's not airing today, right?

• 16:27Hannah Berner?

  Oh, okay. I don't know.

• 16:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it airs later, because they edit it.

• 16:31Hannah Berner?

  I was there last year in person.

• 16:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Where was it? In New York?

• 16:34Hannah Berner?

  In New York, Missy Elliott performed. It was very, very fun. All I know is I found like a $16 vintage Victoria's Secret slip on eBay. Remember when I wore that?

• 16:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. I think they switched like production companies or something.

• 16:47Hannah Berner?

  Okay. It seems like they're going bigger this year.

• 16:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I would assume they're going bigger this year, because I've seen a lot of people posting like that they're going to the show. And did you see the one Victoria's Secret model, Romy?

• 17:00Hannah Berner?

  There's multiple.

• 17:01Paige DeSorbo?

  So Romy came out, did an, did a video being like that she got cut from this year, that she's not in the show. She's been in the show for like so many years and that they're leaning more towards influencers than models. And TikTok is.

• 17:16Hannah Berner?

  Losing their mind.

• 17:16Paige DeSorbo?

  They're losing their minds.

• 17:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:19Paige DeSorbo?

  And as someone who loves watching hot people on TV, I feel bad for the models, just for the models.

• 17:27Hannah Berner?

  She basically was like, she'd been training for it. I think she was more like, I'm a mother. You could have just told me months ago, you weren't going to pick me. So that I wasn't like, she's probably working out like three times a day.

• 17:38Paige DeSorbo?

  In their industry, they are at the top. They are the elite.

• 17:41Hannah Berner?

  Victoria's Secret modeling is similar to a bodybuilding contest.

• 17:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:45Hannah Berner?

  You know how like right before, like you're not drinking water, like you're cutting down, you're getting the tan, like it's that intense. You're, these girls haven't smelled a carb.

• 17:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I do think that there are influencers that should be on it. Like I do think there are some that I'm like, you look like a Victoria's Secret model.

• 18:02Hannah Berner?

  It's like when Angel Reese was on, when I tell you her body was insane.

• 18:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I am pro bringing also influencers on, because we live in a different time. It's a different world. People are going to watch to watch their favorite influencer. We don't have the model culture like we did 10 years ago. So it's just different. Influencers are going to be there. Get over it.

• 18:20Hannah Berner?

  Victoria's Secret is a big business and they're making monetary decisions of how do they sell more Victoria's Secret pink,

• 18:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:31Hannah Berner?

  sports bras.

• 18:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally. And also I say all of this, but in the grand scheme of things, who gives a fuck?

• 18:37Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say.

• 18:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Victoria's Secret Fashion Show isn't in charge of making me feel good.

• 18:42Hannah Berner?

  No, you're so right.

• 18:43Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, like.

• 18:44Hannah Berner?

  You're so right.

• 18:45Paige DeSorbo?

  So if there's girls up there that you don't want to look at, then don't watch it. I personally love watching hot people on TV. I'll turn the, Markiplier, I said, I don't even know what this movie is about, but I like the way she looks. I'm gonna watch it.

• 18:58Hannah Berner?

  Something so upsetting. I, I was in Sirius XM Studios. You left early, per usual.

• 19:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I didn't leave early. The meeting was over. My Uber came first.

• 19:12Hannah Berner?

  This, there's something about you where the second a meeting's over, somehow there's always a car right there.

• 19:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Hannah Berner?

  You've never had any waiting time between the two. I don't know how you do it. I've never saw you call the, you do it very.

• 19:21Paige DeSorbo?

  While the guy's on his last word. I go, piss your last sentence.

• 19:24Hannah Berner?

  He's wrapping up. Um, so I.

• 19:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm really good at wrapping things up. Like I have a move. Like, did you see me grab my bag during that? I said, okay, thank you.

• 19:36Hannah Berner?

  So she, as someone's talking, she starts going, okay, thank you. You know when you start doing the like, the sigh.

• 19:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Now we're done. We did it.

• 19:44Hannah Berner?

  Cause my problem is I, I feel like I give constant, I'm excited to be here, energy, which I'm not, but it's like my, what I do.

• 19:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Your default.

• 19:52Hannah Berner?

  And you go, okay. So you love this sentence. She's like, yeah, so yeah, yeah, thank, yeah.

• 20:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, cool.

• 20:01Hannah Berner?

  Well, yep.

• 20:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Awesome.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  But we got stuck in a beginning conversation where the weather was going too long. You know when you do a little back and forth about the weather? And then it keeps going and you're like, oh, now we're with the weather channel. Like we talked for 10 minutes small talk about the weather with someone? How did that even happen? I was waiting for you to be like, honey, like let's start the meeting.

• 20:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 20:21Hannah Berner?

  There should be a rule after, like you get two things about the weather.

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I need to accomplish like three more things before like people on Zooms are afraid of me. Because, and once I get there, and I'm thinking it's around like 43, 44, once I get there, I want everyone to know, when you get on a Zoom with me, I don't want any intros.

• 20:42Hannah Berner?

  Anna Wintor does.

• 20:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want any intros. I don't want any small talk. Right when we get on, start the damn meeting. You guys don't want to be there? Neither do I. We have other things to do.

• 20:53Hannah Berner?

  We don't need six people to go around and say where they are and how it looks like outside and how it makes them feel and how it's going to be and how it was.

• 21:02Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming in Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy. So that part is already handled in the background. So then I can

• 21:45Hannah Berner?

  focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon.

• 21:56Paige DeSorbo?

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• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You can now get the fresh hair feeling bottled with Air Wash. So hit reset and feel fresh with fresh hair and scalp for up to three days. Shop at Sephora or get 10% off your first purchase at k18hair.com. That's code giggly at k18hair.com. Today's episode is sponsored by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. We won Podcast of the Year, we wrote a book, we have a tour, we have a company. Technically, we are businesswomen now. And honestly, that's terrifying because you don't build a company out of giggling without eventually having to learn how money works. We learned in public, mostly by getting things wrong at first, like finding out our money could be earning money just by sitting there. Because apparently having money sit in a checking account doing absolutely nothing

• 23:22Paige DeSorbo?

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• 24:02Paige DeSorbo?

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• 24:47Paige DeSorbo?

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• 25:27Paige DeSorbo?

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• 25:45Hannah Berner?

  After you left, I was like alone at Sirius XM and I was like, okay, before I call my car, I might as well go to the bathroom because I just get nervous I'm going to have to pee and not have a bathroom near me. That's, that's my phobia in life.

• 25:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, when was this?

• 25:58Hannah Berner?

  Like two weeks ago.

• 25:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about yesterday. I was like, we walked together.

• 26:03Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 26:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, okay. Okay.

• 26:05Hannah Berner?

  Two weeks ago. There's like a whole bunch of people walking and a person goes into the bathroom and then a security guard stands in front. And this is like a big bathroom, like everyone uses this bathroom. So I don't know if I just like look confident or whatever, but I kind of was like, excuse me, like I'm going to the bathroom. Like unless it's dangerous in there, like I have to pee right now. So I like walked around the security guard and he kind of looked me up and down and I just was like, hi. And I walk in and I see like a, a woman with like a little dog and she's like talking to the dog in the bathroom. And for some reason I just thought it was a real housewife. And I was like, which real housewife is walking around with a security guard in Sirius XM? Like you gotta be kidding me.

• 26:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it Paris Hilton?

• 26:46Hannah Berner?

  I just went to the bathroom and I was like, I'm not dealing with whatever's going on here. And I like washed my hands. I keep my head down. And she came out and was washing her hands. And then she like keeps the door open for me, but I literally don't even look who it is. Like I was like in my own world. Walk out, someone turns to me, they go, did you say anything to her? And I was like, no. She goes, it's Margaret Qualley. I was in the bathroom with her for five minutes.

• 27:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah!

• 27:08Hannah Berner?

  I like don't make eye contact with people.

• 27:10Paige DeSorbo?

  What kind of dog?

• 27:11Hannah Berner?

  It was like a cute old gray dog, like tiny little. But she was just like, well, the dog was like getting in my stall and stuff. And I was like, this real housewife needs to get it together. No, but I was like, of course, of course. Like I just got it and I was like, I don't know what's going on. I just, I, I didn't know she was promoting her movie. So anyway, shout out Margaret, we love you and love her.

• 27:31Paige DeSorbo?

  But also, she didn't need me bothering her in the bathroom. No, she actually probably preferred.

• 27:35Hannah Berner?

  And I think I, I knew that deep down that if I made eye contact with her and I knew her, I didn't want to talk. And if I didn't know her, she didn't want me to talk.

• 27:43Paige DeSorbo?

  We didn't talk about girls coming back.

• 27:45Hannah Berner?

  Well, we announced our, our music video dropped, I think the same day they announced. And it was such a beautiful day.

• 27:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. What a cosmic New York City, just lovely moment. Did you see the thing where everyone was like, keep Gen Z, keep your hooks off this goddamn show?

• 28:05Hannah Berner?

  I feel like Gen Z is trying to like make it their own because they, they all just watched it like two weeks ago.

• 28:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they better not. They better not.

• 28:13Hannah Berner?

  Do you know who I love?

• 28:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Who?

• 28:15Hannah Berner?

  Jessa.

• 28:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I love her.

• 28:17Hannah Berner?

  Like I can't keep my eyes off her.

• 28:19Paige DeSorbo?

  If Lena Dunham like happens to stumble upon this clip of the pod, I really also agree. I don't want any cameos, unless it's us. But I really, I don't want any cameos because it almost makes like, it almost takes you out of like the script. Yeah. The scripted world they've created.

• 28:39Hannah Berner?

  It's also like, if you do one cameo, then you have to do every cameo.

• 28:42Paige DeSorbo?

  They're bringing girls back. It's their ages right now. So it's 30s, early 40, no, like 37, 38.

• 28:51Hannah Berner?

  But they're probably.

• 28:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't feel like they would even be connected to Gen Z.

• 28:55Hannah Berner?

  But they're all going to have like older jobs. So like they're going to be like managers somewhere and then they're going to have like the Gen Z people who work for them.

• 29:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, fine. Fine. If we're like saying.

• 29:05Hannah Berner?

  I love you go in a world with no Gen Z in Brooklyn, New York.

• 29:08Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think it's only five episodes.

• 29:10Hannah Berner?

  So maybe because it's only five episodes, they do like a beautiful, just only the characters.

• 29:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, Lena will have a child who would be Gen Alpha. So maybe they'll lean more into Gen Alpha, which is even scarier than Gen Z.

• 29:27Hannah Berner?

  Gen Z is going to be mad.

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't stand with Gen Alpha at all. I'm scared of them.

• 29:29Hannah Berner?

  Doesn't even know what girls is.

• 29:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 29:32Hannah Berner?

  Very interesting.

• 29:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Very interesting. So we'll see how they do it.

• 29:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm just excited that it's getting the respect it deserved because like everyone's like Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Seinfeld. I'm like, you, time has to pass for people to be like, that was one of the greatest shows.

• 29:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  Girls.

• 29:44Paige DeSorbo?

  She was 23. Could you imagine if a 23 year old guy did anything? They'd be like, oh, he's the greatest of all time.

• 29:53Hannah Berner?

  That's like the director of Back Room. He's like a 23 year old.

• 29:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Lena Dunham should put Margaret Qualley in it.

• 30:01Hannah Berner?

  I love how you're a casting director now.

• 30:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Do you want to know something? In a past life, I actually think I could have been a casting director.

• 30:08Hannah Berner?

  I was an agent.

• 30:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You were an agent because you're phenomenal at spotting talent and I could have been a casting director because I know.

• 30:14Hannah Berner?

  You're good at judging.

• 30:18Hannah Berner?

  Immediately, she's like, thank you.

• 30:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, she's not pretty enough at all.

• 30:22Hannah Berner?

  No, you'd be like, someone walks in, thank you so much. You didn't look up. I know.

• 30:28Hannah Berner?

  But also you'd be a good dermatologist.

• 30:30Paige DeSorbo?

  When I used to go on like model castings, I would know when I got it and when I didn't. And when I didn't get it, they were overly nice to me like, oh my God, you did so good. That's amazing. Yes, perfect. And when they don't say anything to you, I would be like, I got that.

• 30:45Hannah Berner?

  Paige, you just dropped some serious, serious important tea because now I realize that's why I walk out of every audition being like, she got it, baby.

• 30:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:53Hannah Berner?

  I literally tell those, I'm like, we're going to Hollywood.

• 30:56Paige DeSorbo?

  If I walked out and was like, they loved me, my mom would be like, and we didn't get that one. Like, yeah, I would know.

• 31:03Hannah Berner?

  It's more like, um, like a day at work when they liked you, they'd be like, okay, good. Check her off.

• 31:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they'd be like, she's doing what she, okay, that's actually, that's perfect.

• 31:10Hannah Berner?

  And if someone's really bad, they're like, thanks. Thank you for trying.

• 31:12Paige DeSorbo?

  You're amazing. You're gorgeous. We love you.

• 31:15Hannah Berner?

  So much.

• 31:16Paige DeSorbo?

  She's coming up, so like, keep your calendar open. And then you never hear from them.

• 31:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 31:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's life.

• 31:24Hannah Berner?

  How do you think rejection as a child, even though your mom would lie to you most of the time, but like you must have felt some rejection? How did that affect you?

• 31:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I love our Sunday series.

• 31:34Hannah Berner?

  I love our Sunday serious series.

• 31:36Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I, I'm sure it did affect me. But I don't know how.

• 31:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't dove into that there because, no, I actually really think I was like, kind of stupid, that I really don't think I realized it in the moment I was getting rejected.

• 31:54Hannah Berner?

  That was like some tennis girls where like, they weren't stupid. They just didn't think about like when they lost, they just were like, whatever is fine.

• 32:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I've been very, like, I really feel like I've been like that my whole life. Like even if I'm like, if I don't get something, I'm like, okay, whatever. That's like, not for me. Honestly, even when I didn't get summer house, I was like, okay, don't care.

• 32:15Hannah Berner?

  You're better than me at, and we were talking about this earlier, you being like, things will work out as they should, where I'm very like, I will make it happen. Is it supposed to happen? I will force it.

• 32:25Paige DeSorbo?

  The only time I feel like that is with men, where I'm like, oh, really?

• 32:29Hannah Berner?

  See, it's funny. I don't feel like that with men at all. I'm like, go.

• 32:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, where I'm like, oh, you don't think it's working out? Oh, you don't think it's working out? Okay. I'll show you not working out. But that's just like.

• 32:42Hannah Berner?

  Every time I've chased a guy, I've regretted it.

• 32:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Same.

• 32:45Hannah Berner?

  You've never.

• 32:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 32:46Hannah Berner?

  Cause the second you get him, you go, oh, we fucked up.

• 32:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, wait, I actually made up your personality in my brain. You in fact don't have that personality.

• 32:55Hannah Berner?

  Sometimes it's just a fun night out, like seeing a guy across the bar, making up who he is, spending the whole night tricking him into thinking he saw you.

• 33:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:03Hannah Berner?

  And then being like, oh no, I'm stuck in the worst conversation I've ever had in my life.

• 33:06Paige DeSorbo?

  One of the best things after you break up with someone and like, you might feel like, oh my God, I really didn't want to, but it was the right thing. Or like, no, I, or maybe even they broke up with you. One of the best feelings is then like, not only seeing them after, maybe not even seeing them, but knowing what they're doing after and realizing like, oh yeah, I was the magic. Like not only was I the magic, I was the, I was, I was your whole personality. What do, what do you talk about now? Like stuff like, that is like the best feeling. Me.

• 33:44Hannah Berner?

  Like your ears are just nonstop like.

• 33:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Nonstop bringing.

• 33:47Hannah Berner?

  Um, I thought of a metaphor for dating. So as a New Yorker, I feel like, like I've had a lot of apartments.

• 33:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:55Hannah Berner?

  Like you go from apartment to apartment. And I was thinking about apartments. Have you ever like been in an apartment and you've been like, okay, it's not perfect, but it's good. And then you're like, I'm really comfortable here. And then you're like, I could see myself here for a long time.

• 34:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll just re-sign the lease.

• 34:09Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you're like, this apartment is great. And you like come into it, you're like, this is a great apartment. This is a really good apartment.

• 34:14Paige DeSorbo?

  But I don't want to let this apartment go because I don't know if there's a better apartment out there.

• 34:18Hannah Berner?

  I don't know if I'll find another apartment. You know how competitive it is getting an apartment? And then you're like, fine, I'll get another apartment. You start looking and you find, suddenly you're like, oh.

• 34:29Paige DeSorbo?

  This is the best apartment I've ever seen in my life.

• 34:31Hannah Berner?

  Your life is suddenly different colors. You wake up in the morning at a different vibe, like.

• 34:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't even remember the old apartment.

• 34:38Hannah Berner?

  You think, how the fuck did I live in that shit hole apartment?

• 34:41Paige DeSorbo?

  What unit was that again? What number was I?

• 34:42Hannah Berner?

  And then you're like, wait, the vibes were so bad in that apartment. I had no idea.

• 34:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No idea.

• 34:47Hannah Berner?

  And I was literally thinking about this, just apartments recently. And I go, it's a hundred percent dating.

• 34:51Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a hundred percent dating.

• 34:53Hannah Berner?

  You're like, yeah, like he sucks in a lot of ways, but like, we're good. Like, we're good. And then, then you're with like, an actual person who's good for you. And you're like, ah, I almost settled with the last one.

• 35:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Then you bring in your guarantor and you're, they're like, are you sure about this apartment?

• 35:07Hannah Berner?

  My mom is like, I'm not signing for you on this.

• 35:09Paige DeSorbo?

  This isn't the one. I'm, yeah, I'm not signing.

• 35:11Hannah Berner?

  My mom's not signing a bad me for this. So anyway, think about your apartment, you guys.

• 35:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:17Hannah Berner?

  And no.

• 35:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Just think inventory.

• 35:18Hannah Berner?

  Cause people, humans naturally can like acclimate to a lot of things. Just know you don't have to acclimate.

• 35:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Some girl made a TikTok. This is like a while ago, but it stuck in my brain.

• 35:28Hannah Berner?

  Serious Sundays.

• 35:29Paige DeSorbo?

  And it was, you don't get a reward for suffering.

• 35:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And I just think that's so true in dating, especially for our age and the girls that are single and our counterpart are, and I'm not saying this to like be mean, like statistically, like our counterpart and men are just like making less money than us. They're like not going, not, don't have as good as jobs as us, whatever. They don't try as hard. They don't own homes.

• 35:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I forget what I was even saying.

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, I say all of this and then I'm texting, I'm like, you're my sweet boy. And then you're like, I love you.

• 36:05Hannah Berner?

  But this is the thing too. I have a couple of girls that'll message me and be like, I don't want to break up with him because I'll feel bad.

• 36:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:13Hannah Berner?

  Now let me tell you guys, I am the biggest people pleaser on the planet.

• 36:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 36:17Hannah Berner?

  Like to people I don't know, I will feel too horrible. Like you can bring me a cheeseburger with shredded glass in it. And I'll be like, you did such a good job. It's okay. Five stars. And yeah, like I am that kind of people pleaser. But when it comes to my life.

• 36:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:32Hannah Berner?

  And men.

• 36:33Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't take shit.

• 36:34Hannah Berner?

  But I've dated some sweet angel men.

• 36:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:37Hannah Berner?

  Who I've like really loved and cared for, but I knew deep down I was going to get distracted by other men. The second I was like, I want to, I want to kiss that man or I want to.

• 36:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, that's like the biggest sign.

• 36:48Hannah Berner?

  So then I go, okay, now out of respect for the guy, I'm going to hurt him. But like, what am I going to do? Let him waste my life away?

• 36:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no.

• 36:56Hannah Berner?

  And also he's going to find someone who's better for him. So you guys, stop staying with guys because you feel like, girls have been like, I don't know what he's going to do without me. Not your problem.

• 37:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Also.

• 37:04Hannah Berner?

  Also, they're fine.

• 37:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I've broken up with a lot of men and then like a month later, I'll be like, wait, why did I feel bad? They didn't even like me.

• 37:12Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 37:13Paige DeSorbo?

  They really didn't. I'm like, wait, he didn't like genuinely love me. Yeah, he made up who I was. I made up who he was. We did this dance for a little bit and then I was like, gotta go.

• 37:26Hannah Berner?

  I read something that was like, you'll have three loves, which is super generalizing, but it's like your first love that you're like, oh my God, like this feels so real. And it is, but it's just like the beginning.

• 37:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:38Hannah Berner?

  And you're too young to actually like grow together.

• 37:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, got mine.

• 37:42Hannah Berner?

  Second one is you date someone who's abusive, ruins your life, makes you realize what you don't want. And you, you're like, I actually don't want.

• 37:51Paige DeSorbo?

  He was so fun though.

• 37:52Hannah Berner?

  He was so fun. People liked him. He was really popular.

• 37:55Paige DeSorbo?

  He had a really good time, like on a Saturday night.

• 37:58Hannah Berner?

  You can't eat, you can't sleep.

• 38:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, okay, no mind.

• 38:01Hannah Berner?

  You have to go on Prozac. And then once you're kind of like over it, something will come to you, even when you're like, I don't want this right now.

• 38:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 38:09Hannah Berner?

  And that like is, that did happen in my life.

• 38:12Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so true. Yes.

• 38:14Hannah Berner?

  It really happened in my life. I was looking through old notes. I highly recommend when you're bored, if there's nothing on TV. I'm into like 2017. And I guess I had a bad breakup and then I was going through a list of guys I dated and like why I ended it with them.

• 38:27Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, that's so me coded.

• 38:30Hannah Berner?

  But you know, I had two boyfriends, two and a half, maybe three, who like I really loved, but I realized they were just my best friend.

• 38:39Hannah Berner?

  I would either do like best friends and then be like, I'm not attracted to you enough. I'm so sorry, but like I love you, but like.

• 38:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I only did that like once and not my vibe, not my MO.

• 38:47Hannah Berner?

  I know, but it was more like you're, you're single. It was one of you're single and you're just like, we're hanging out all the time.

• 38:53Paige DeSorbo?

  We have a friend group.

• 38:54Hannah Berner?

  And you're like, you're a boy, I'm a girl. Do we, do we, and then you're like, mm.

• 38:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:58Hannah Berner?

  Sweet, sweet men.

• 39:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:00Hannah Berner?

  And then there's the ones who are like, if they could nuke the world, they would.

• 39:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I had a couple of those.

• 39:08Hannah Berner?

  Like you're like, I'm not safe. No one's safe around you.

• 39:12Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a couple that if they texted me right now, I'd call a bodyguard. Like this is not going to end well. And I'm not safe, actually. I'm not safe. Like, and I've said some crazy things on this podcast where I'm like, surely someone's going to send a text being like, he knows you're doing it by him. I'm like, but I haven't.

• 39:32Hannah Berner?

  The good news about having a podcast when you're in your, um, early to mid thirties is that we could be talking about so many men when we reference an ex.

• 39:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, when I.

• 39:41Hannah Berner?

  And we are.

• 39:42Paige DeSorbo?

  When I did my, when I went to the variety and I accepted the word for, and talked about domestic violence, Hannah, the amount of exes that texted me like, hey, hey, so proud of you. Like all your accomplishments. Love it. Do you mind saying that it's not me? Like I had a lot of people be like, and like girlfriends being like, hey, I had to say that it like, wasn't this particular guy you dated?

• 40:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 40:10Paige DeSorbo?

  But I was just like, figure it out.

• 40:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, that happened to you. Um, hope you're doing well.

• 40:18Hannah Berner?

  People thought you were the one when I said.

• 40:20Paige DeSorbo?

  That's not on me.

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  That's the energy you're putting out to the world.

• 40:24Paige DeSorbo?

  That is not on me.

• 40:25Hannah Berner?

  That's the energy you're putting out into the world. Um, speaking of energy and putting out into the world. Does and I are becoming that old couple that like, we love talking to waiters. Like a waiter comes in and they're just trying to do their job. And we're like, where are you from?

• 40:41Paige DeSorbo?

  That is such a niche bit.

• 40:44Hannah Berner?

  I don't know how it happened. I feel like when the restaurant's quiet.

• 40:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Set me a scene. Set me a scene. Like you're, it's a Saturday night.

• 40:52Hannah Berner?

  Saturday, 3pm.

• 40:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, a late lunch.

• 40:55Hannah Berner?

  I realized I hadn't had a lunch. Yeah, so I was like, I want a quesadilla. And Dez and I sit down. And Dez is, what I do like about him is he loves small talk.

• 41:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:05Hannah Berner?

  He loves talking about city planning. He loves neighborhood gossip. He loves to know what's going on.

• 41:09Paige DeSorbo?

  He loves infrastructure.

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  Infrastructure of a town. And he will overhear people talking and be like, what's going on at that coffee shop? What's happening here? What's the parking, like parking situations? He loves to, ugh.

• 41:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I almost texted him about the DMV the other day.

• 41:25Hannah Berner?

  Wait, he's waiting for you to text him about the DMV, actually. He's like, she should just text me because I have it all ready. Um, Dez loves the DMV. And he, but it's not that he loves complaining about it. Like, he lives for that. Like, I tried to be like, why are you stressing yourself out? And he goes, this is what gives me joy.

• 41:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:39Hannah Berner?

  So, we start talking to this girl and she leaves and she has an accent. And we're both like, should we ask her where she's from? And we start guessing. This is how, look, this is marriage.

• 41:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 41:47Hannah Berner?

  We're sick of each other. We gotta make stuff happen.

• 41:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Bring in a third.

• 41:52Hannah Berner?

  So I was like, where are you from? And she's like, Italy.

• 41:56Paige DeSorbo?

  No way.

• 41:57Hannah Berner?

  Cause she said, um, what is that thing that Italians say on TikTok?

• 42:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Italian brain rot?

• 42:03Hannah Berner?

  Thank, uh.

• 42:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 42:05Hannah Berner?

  Okay. Yeah, she kept going, okay, yeah, okay. She's like, you're Italian. And then I was like, I'm Italian. And she's like, wait, I'm like, well, no, I'm from Italy, but anyway.

• 42:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:14Hannah Berner?

  So we're doing our thing. And then I'm like getting a little too comfortable with her. She like, she gives her the stuff and she's like, okay, thank you. And I look at her, I go, ciao bella.

• 42:26Hannah Berner?

  Dez looked at me, he's like, we need, we need to go home. We have to leave the restaurant right now.

• 42:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Would she, did she look back at you? She actually probably found that endearing and sweet.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  She didn't respond.

• 42:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Cool.

• 42:38Hannah Berner?

  She just turned around. I was like, is that creepy?

• 42:41Paige DeSorbo?

  How old was she?

• 42:42Hannah Berner?

  She was like 50.

• 42:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 42:44Hannah Berner?

  I don't know.

• 42:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally fine. Totally fine.

• 42:47Hannah Berner?

  Where's that TikTok, ciao bella? Where did that come from?

• 42:50Paige DeSorbo?

  That's their culture.

• 42:52Hannah Berner?

  I could have just said ciao, but I, saying ciao bella, that, and that's something that comes of age.

• 42:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:58Hannah Berner?

  Cause in your twenties, you're not saying ciao bella to a 50 year old woman.

• 43:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:01Hannah Berner?

  But now I'm like, me and you, honey.

• 43:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny because sometimes when I'm texting, like work stuff and I want people, and sometimes my tone, I think can come, in text can come off like more serious than I'm actually trying to be. Like I'll reread it and I'll be like, ooh, ooh, scary. So then at the end, I'll just say gracias. And so then.

• 43:22Hannah Berner?

  And then everything's like, well, that's why.

• 43:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, she's just like, she's being whimsical. She's being fun.

• 43:26Hannah Berner?

  That's why I do the millennial LOL sandwich. You start LOL, say something really fucking dark and serious, and then end with LOL. And you're like, Dez does fucking periods. I had to pull him aside. I was like, you're scaring people.

• 43:36Paige DeSorbo?

  He does full punctuation.

• 43:38Hannah Berner?

  Periods.

• 43:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:39Hannah Berner?

  You got a period at the end.

• 43:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Has Dez hit talk to text yet?

• 43:44Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 43:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Good. Good.

• 43:45Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 43:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause I feel like once you hit that.

• 43:50Hannah Berner?

  How could you do this to me?

• 43:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like it's.

• 43:53Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I do have to do a shout out. I posted a beautiful photo of Butter in my apartment.

• 43:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:58Hannah Berner?

  And I thought all the comments were gonna be like, Butter's so cute. And there was some, however, most of them were like, why is your apartment so clean? I've never seen an apartment so clean. And I just thought, did you guys know? It's because I moved into it that day. We're in Miami, because Sirius has a amazing studio in Miami.

• 44:16Paige DeSorbo?

  So we're gonna record in it, like sometimes.

• 44:17Hannah Berner?

  But we're trying to live in the same apartment building and it's like really hard.

• 44:21Paige DeSorbo?

  It's really hard because some of them don't have pets and now all this. And I, whenever I see like, doesn't allow pets, in my head, I'm like, kitty's not a pet.

• 44:30Hannah Berner?

  No, she's not.

• 44:31Paige DeSorbo?

  But then I'm like, the dog. So I'll look at him, I'm like, you're ruining my life.

• 44:37Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 44:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you can't conceal a dog.

• 44:39Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say, with a cat, we lie.

• 44:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, you'll never see her.

• 44:43Hannah Berner?

  Butter will never come out.

• 44:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Prove I have a cat. Maybe I like a litter box. I don't know.

• 44:50Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, my husband uses a litter box.

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• 49:13Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of whores.

• 49:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:15Hannah Berner?

  After the Shane Gallas whore monologue.

• 49:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:18Hannah Berner?

  I was watching East of Eden, and I was like, these whores dress spectacularly.

• 49:24Paige DeSorbo?

  No, how do we go from, you're low. Local brothel to like can go out in a short skirt.

• 49:29Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no. These whores corsets.

• 49:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:32Hannah Berner?

  Layers of these whores dress gorgeous.

• 49:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Saying that.

• 49:39Paige DeSorbo?

  One whore fine, three whores on a Sunday?

• 49:43Hannah Berner?

  Sunday, I forgot it's a Sunday.

• 49:45Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the Lord's day.

• 49:47Hannah Berner?

  Sorry.

• 49:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, no, but like, uh, being a prostitute was like.

• 49:52Hannah Berner?

  It was a job. Also, those women were entrepreneurial.

• 49:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, they're the only women in that time period that were actually free.

• 50:00Hannah Berner?

  And the.

• 50:01Paige DeSorbo?

  They were the only women that had freedom.

• 50:02Hannah Berner?

  Madam who owned it.

• 50:03Paige DeSorbo?

  So no wonder men were so like, that's disgusting. That's bad because they were the only women that could like come and go as they please.

• 50:10Hannah Berner?

  It's giving every guy who hates OnlyFans models, but has seven OnlyFans subscriptions. Why do the ones who hate them always are the ones who have the most subscriptions?

• 50:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I feel like we're thinking of the same person.

• 50:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 50:22Hannah Berner?

  Also, um, it's so funny how in East of Eden, she comes to like interview to be a prostitute. And the lady's like, you're so pretty. You could have a husband. She was like, I would rather do anything but have a husband.

• 50:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 50:37Hannah Berner?

  I want to work fully and make my own money here. And if I'm going to sleep with a man I don't like, I'd rather make money for it.

• 50:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 50:44Hannah Berner?

  And that's the tea.

• 50:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. No, it's a great show. Do you like, have you finished it?

• 50:48Hannah Berner?

  I'm like slowly getting through it.

• 50:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I wonder why like.

• 50:52Hannah Berner?

  But I really like it. I think it should win stuff.

• 50:54Paige DeSorbo?

  It should absolutely win stuff.

• 50:57Hannah Berner?

  This is like the prettiest I've ever like, like I love her in this garb.

• 51:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she looks amazing. Yeah, everything. She's just like really is so good at the role.

• 51:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 51:07Paige DeSorbo?

  But I wonder what, like, what happened that you could walk into a brothel, pay, have sex with a girl, leave? And now you can't. Why can't you?

• 51:19Hannah Berner?

  I think it's, it happens.

• 51:21Paige DeSorbo?

  But legally? Is that, yeah, but they get in trouble, don't they?

• 51:25Hannah Berner?

  I think you can.

• 51:27Paige DeSorbo?

  OnlyFans is phenomenal for women.

• 51:30Hannah Berner?

  Genius.

• 51:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Because then they're not, they don't have to go to some random studio, film something like they can just do it in their own home.

• 51:36Hannah Berner?

  There's a show going around about like suburban moms who have full families who are all on OnlyFans.

• 51:42Paige DeSorbo?

  What channel?

• 51:45Hannah Berner?

  Isn't like Hulu or TLC?

• 51:48Hannah Berner?

  I think it's really good, but they're all friends. Like no one's judging each other. They're like, yeah, we're making really good money. We all do it.

• 51:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Making insane money. Here's the thing that has never, I've never understood about like OnlyFans or strippers or whatever. Like people are so mean about their profession, especially men. It's like, but you guys are paying them.

• 52:09Hannah Berner?

  It's like it's you.

• 52:10Paige DeSorbo?

  They're doing it for you.

• 52:12Hannah Berner?

  One woman get mad at another woman for making money for, I'm like, good, take their fucking money. It's the men who like hate that they're getting tricked. And also the men who don't, who aren't on OnlyFans aren't talking bad about OnlyFans. They don't care. They're like, do whatever you want.

• 52:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 52:26Hannah Berner?

  But it's the men who like want them so bad and it makes them mad. So then they want to be like, and you're, you ever meet a guy who's, I've met guys like this.

• 52:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Almost feel like Pete Davidson was actually talking about OnlyFans, but he said TikTok to be PC.

• 52:40Hannah Berner?

  Well, when he said, get ready with me that like.

• 52:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:44Hannah Berner?

  That was like.

• 52:44Paige DeSorbo?

  But there's no like, there's no influencer making forty million dollars a year on influencing. Like that was. But I feel like there are OnlyFans girls making forty million.

• 52:54Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. My favorite is when you meet a guy and you're like, what's your type? And he's like, not OnlyFans model. And I'm like, I'm not saying what's not your type. And he's like, she just can't do OnlyFans. I'm like, you are the only one that's brought up OnlyFans.

• 53:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:05Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, say anything besides OnlyFans. And he's like, she can't sell flip pics.

• 53:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I got, wait.

• 53:10Hannah Berner?

  You got a request?

• 53:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Cause you have five stars on Wiki feed. It's like talked about in the community.

• 53:15Paige DeSorbo?

  DM me and ask if they could pay for my manicures and pedicures. And honestly, I thought, no, I can't do that.

• 53:22Paige DeSorbo?

  But for a second I was like.

• 53:24Hannah Berner?

  Be like, put it towards endometriosis, please.

• 53:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Truly.

• 53:26Hannah Berner?

  I'm also doing this thing called Tab Rehab.

• 53:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Tab Rehab?

• 53:31Hannah Berner?

  It's for all my.

• 53:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Open tabs.

• 53:33Hannah Berner?

  Uh, it's becoming a problem. Like I have so many tabs that I have to start a new, whole new window. And I don't get rid of the previous window. And then I get a ton of tabs. I start a new window. And then I had so many. And then I was like, I'm gonna nuke this shit. And I just X'd out of all of them.

• 53:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Can't you do one big X in the corner? Like the whole internet page?

• 53:57Hannah Berner?

  Well, I have multiple pages.

• 53:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You have multiple internet pages up with multiple tabs. Like how many internet pages?

• 54:04Hannah Berner?

  Like I was at like six.

• 54:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like an eighty five year old grandma. One internet page. You have how many?

• 54:11Hannah Berner?

  I had like six full of like, full of like over a hundred tabs each. So I X out all of them and I feel great. And I don't even know what the tabs were. But that's how I feel about my screenshots too. Like one day I need to like sit and look through all my important screenshots that I screenshot it.

• 54:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Done. That's over. We've, no, we could never go through our photos on our phones anymore. Once you've hit the age of thirty, that's an abyss. Who could go through that?

• 54:37Hannah Berner?

  I want an app that could literally just go through my screenshots and tell me like.

• 54:42Paige DeSorbo?

  They have it and it deletes duplicates.

• 54:44Hannah Berner?

  No, but like, that's like, these are clearly nails you like. This was clearly a recipe.

• 54:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Organizes it.

• 54:50Hannah Berner?

  So then like you'd be like, oh, recipes. And you, it's just there. Cause right now it's, it's right? Chaotic. Also apparently Splenda's really bad for you and the giggers are mad at me.

• 54:59Paige DeSorbo?

  It also tastes disgusting.

• 55:01Hannah Berner?

  And she's ugly.

• 55:04Hannah Berner?

  I've been texting your boyfriend.

• 55:06Paige DeSorbo?

  About what?

• 55:07Hannah Berner?

  Don't act like you don't know. You're on his phone. I actually, when I text him, I imagine I'm texting you too. I'm like, hi Paige. No, but we are deep in fancy football. And it's funny because.

• 55:21Paige DeSorbo?

  You guys have a big day today.

• 55:22Hannah Berner?

  We have a big day today and he like knows things because he like works in sports.

• 55:26Paige DeSorbo?

  So many facts.

• 55:26Hannah Berner?

  So I'm like getting.

• 55:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Someone could say a Super Bowl from like two thousand and six and he'd be like, well, the one play that I'm like.

• 55:34Hannah Berner?

  No, I literally, and I also am like, he's busy. Like, and I'm, this is, I'm in a hundred dollar game with fancy football. And I was just like, hey, and I sent him my whole lineup. And he sent me like this crazy reasoning of like, why this guy should be played over this guy. But like people wouldn't know, but it's because of this and that. And I was just like really impressed, but I'm like, you wouldn't understand.

• 55:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 55:55Hannah Berner?

  Because it's not important.

• 55:59Hannah Berner?

  It's not going to bring value to anyone's life.

• 56:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 56:01Hannah Berner?

  He's really benefiting me and my league where I have to beat Andrew Collin.

• 56:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm all for it. And sometimes he'll be like, do you want to watch with me? And do you want to hang out? And I always say, I'm doing, I text him because we're in different rooms of the house.

• 56:15Hannah Berner?

  Dez doesn't support my fancy football either.

• 56:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I'm doing my stuff. I have stuff to do. Sometimes it's a screen with a game and then a computer with two games. And then downstairs, there's another screen going with four ga.

• 56:32Hannah Berner?

  So I'm.

• 56:32Paige DeSorbo?

  If I hear the phrase red zone, one more time.

• 56:37Hannah Berner?

  Excited when you said that.

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I'm like, unless we're talking about what nail color I'm doing, which you know I do red twice a year. I don't care.

• 56:46Hannah Berner?

  Also, the men are bleeding money because they're all spending all their money betting. And then you have to pay for like eighty dollars a month for like NFL dropkick.

• 56:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, now they can bet like, okay, this player is going to wear this color shoe. Like that's scary.

• 57:00Hannah Berner?

  Their houses away. And then, yeah, then I'm suddenly accidentally signed up for like a YouTube TV. And then like, I don't even, it's impossible to watch the games.

• 57:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Doing the Super Bowl.

• 57:09Hannah Berner?

  It was gonna be Miley Cyrus and now there's like, but that was just a whisper.

• 57:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Chatter that there's.

• 57:14Hannah Berner?

  It's chatter. Um, very good question.

• 57:17Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's in LA. I feel like it shouldn't be her. It should be someone LA.

• 57:22Hannah Berner?

  Is Super Bowl in LA?

• 57:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, isn't it?

• 57:24Hannah Berner?

  I feel like it changes.

• 57:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Did I just make that up?

• 57:26Hannah Berner?

  I think you did.

• 57:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think it's in LA this year.

• 57:28Hannah Berner?

  Is in LA.

• 57:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that's also that. I think they're have, they're having a big year.

• 57:33Hannah Berner?

  Who was I gonna say about football? Oh, I watch it like they're my sons. Cause if one of them gets injured.

• 57:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because they are kids.

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  They're, they're literally nineteen years old and they're learning, they're growing and.

• 57:45Paige DeSorbo?

  They do one thing and then it's like done for the season.

• 57:48Hannah Berner?

  If one of them gets injured, it fucks me up. So I literally, like a guy gets caught and I'm like, don't touch him. Don't touch him. And then he scores and I'm like, that's my baby. That's my baby.

• 57:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I wish I could be passionate about anything like that.

• 57:59Hannah Berner?

  But then when like it doesn't go my way, I get a sick little feeling in my stomach. And the little voices come in my head and they're like, you stupid idiot. Why would you pick him? You knew that the other guy would have done better. You're stupid. You're stupid. And then I have to turn it off and Dez is like, hey, and I'm like, not now.

• 58:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I wish they had like a fantasy football for like what I thought the lineup at Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is gonna be. So I could bet on it. Like who do I think's opening the show? Who do I think's closing the show?

• 58:25Hannah Berner?

  I actually made this sketch a long time ago, making fun of how when we used to watch The Bachelor on Mondays, it was exactly like guys watching football on Mondays. Cause they'd be like, why are you obsessed with this one guy? And we're like, sorry, he's the guy.

• 58:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, he's the quarterback essentially.

• 58:42Hannah Berner?

  And then it's like, is it every week? And it's like, yeah, either be a part of the season or don't. Like, let's go. So we're more similar than different is the moral of the story. Anyway, anything else going on?

• 58:51Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think that was really all I had.

• 58:54Hannah Berner?

  As of now, I'm still going on my trip.

• 58:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 58:57Hannah Berner?

  But you know, there's a long week ahead of us. You never know what can happen.

• 59:01Paige DeSorbo?

  On the twenty second.

• 59:03Hannah Berner?

  And we decided that when I'm in Asia.

• 59:07Paige DeSorbo?

  We're gonna record.

• 59:07Hannah Berner?

  We're gonna record because it's still be like ten AM your time, ten PM my time.

• 59:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is like, fine.

• 59:13Hannah Berner?

  The chemistry is gonna be insane.

• 59:14Paige DeSorbo?

  One morning, one night. Who knows?

• 59:17Hannah Berner?

  Or, yeah, I'm scared. Um, thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so much. Talk to you later.

• 59:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

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