Giggling about mermaids, masculinity, and catfishing

GARY FIX THE WIFI shop summer merch collection

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Hannah Berner?

  Sweater season is in full effect and Abercrombie is setting a new standard. Thanks to the quality fabrics like 100% cashmere wool blends and other natural fibers, I'm using this drop as permission to curate my entire fall wardrobe around sweaters, especially the World Net Cruise sweater. It's a classic silhouette that I can easily throw on and go or dress up for nights in the city. Outfit accordingly this season with Abercrombie. Shop in the app, online and in stores. I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like so many people have my location.

• 0:36Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 0:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend like doesn't text you, oh, you got home, you're, you're calling the FBI.

• 0:44Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 0:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:01Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So, once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:09Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:14Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social, like I love everyone, but like.

• 1:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:18Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts. You ignore it all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:32Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 1:39Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 1:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly women deserve.

• 1:44Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 1:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a T-shirt for real.

• 1:49Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 1:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:01Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:02Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:05Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You could check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:17Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:18Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 2:23Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afegato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afegato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day. And this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Afegato Creme filling.

• 3:05Paige DeSorbo?

  So, it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afegato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite.

• 3:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, Gigglers?

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Carrie, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Right before the pod starts, I'm always like, oh, my God, I have so many things to tell Hannah. And then the pod starts and I'm like.

• 3:39Hannah Berner?

  That's scary.

• 3:40Paige DeSorbo?

  What's my name?

• 3:41Hannah Berner?

  How did you find me? Who are you?

• 3:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I just wrote one note, tell myself, tell myself to wake up.

• 3:48Hannah Berner?

  Well, can we just say this is an early morning pod? We have to warn people when it is because it does have a different je ne sais quoi to it. Yeah.

• 3:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Not good, not better, not worse, just.

• 3:58Hannah Berner?

  Just slightly different.

• 3:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Interesting. They're in a different headspace today. Oh, the mornings. Okay, no, I have, I have a hack, okay? You know how I'm always like waking up in the middle of the night, doing weird things? She's a night owl.

• 4:16Hannah Berner?

  She's a vampire.

• 4:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I think, I think before I go to sleep, I think, oh, I'm like annoyed that I know I'm gonna wake up at like 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. So, I did a science experiment the other night. Right before I went to bed, I said, Paige, I said it out loud too, and in my head a little bit. I said, Paige, you're waking up at 7:00 a.m. Because I have an amazing internal clock and never slept through an alarm in my life. Like, can wait, I wake up 30 minutes before I have to wake up and then I like ease myself into it. It's a big thing or I get a stomach ache. Anyway, so I did that the other night and it worked.

• 4:56Hannah Berner?

  This podcast is just an internal dialogue of us fighting our demons. And you're like, this is what's going on in the dark depths of the night inside my head. Wait, so you manifested waking up at the right time?

• 5:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I manifested, yeah. I told my body, hey, cut it out. We don't need to wake up at 4:00 a.m. And I did like a slight wake up, but not like an overly.

• 5:20Hannah Berner?

  When you wake up in the middle of the night, does your heart start going? Because you're like, oh, shit, I'm awake and I can't go back to sleep. Okay, sorry, I didn't want to put that in the ether. Don't listen to that.

• 5:29Paige DeSorbo?

  When something is like physically going on in my life that's like causing me angst, I will wake up super early with like tight chest, heart palpitations.

• 5:39Hannah Berner?

  Are we on the therapy Zoom?

• 5:42Hannah Berner?

  I go, and that's why Wellbutrin is recommended?

• 5:47Hannah Berner?

  We had a different night last night. Well, okay, I have the kids.

• 5:51Hannah Berner?

  I have Lois and Bobby, my niece and nephew.

• 5:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You've been treating me like you're a new mom. Like, I call you with problems and you're like, I don't know, call someone who has time. I, I have kids.

• 6:04Hannah Berner?

  I fully like haven't checked my text messages all day. I don't know how moms have timed, I can't shower, like it's been chaos. Um, Lois is literally you reincarnated.

• 6:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, Lois is everything I want my daughter to be. She's spunky, she's sassy and she's stylish, honey.

• 6:24Hannah Berner?

  But I think that she looks at a lot of photos of us and me wearing these like cool outfits. So, when she sees me, she expects me to be in like a beautiful dress. So, I.

• 6:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she expects, she expects you to have done glam.

• 6:40Hannah Berner?

  At the minimum.

• 6:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Before she arrives because she's proper. Yeah, she's like.

• 6:44Hannah Berner?

  So, she's, you know, kids wake up at like the crack of dawn.

• 6:47Paige DeSorbo?

  She goes, Mom, Aunt Hannah's catfishing us. We gotta get out of here.

• 6:53Hannah Berner?

  Well, the real some shady, please stand up because that's not my Aunt Hannah. So, she wakes up at the crack of dawn and then I'm in my bedroom sleeping. So, she's, I think, assuming that I'm like getting ready for her. So, then when I come out, look in how I look in the morning, she's not happy. I walk out and I see her smile turn to a frown and she goes, we need to change your outfit. This is me wearing my pajamas, my hair is a mess. She goes, we need to change your outfit. And I'm like, let me have some coffee, let me start my day. We need to change your outfit. I say, okay. She takes me into my room, she goes, show me the dresses.

• 7:28Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, show me what I have to work with.

• 7:30Hannah Berner?

  She's already roaming her eyes.

• 7:31Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, I'm not expecting much. Like, it's not promising, but let's just see.

• 7:37Hannah Berner?

  She knows immediately if she likes something. I go, is this cute? She goes, ugly. I go, is this cute? She goes, ugly. Okay, that was $300. Okay, nevermind. She looks and she knows what she likes and now, you know, she loved purple. She goes, I need to let you know, I also like light pink and yellow. And I go, add it to summer colors, got it? So, she takes a white dress, she brings out, I have like all these sandals all over the place. She finds the cute white thong sandals that match it, gets a white necklace, puts it on and then takes my mu mu white purse and goes, okay. Here, you're welcome.

• 8:15Paige DeSorbo?

  She goes, was that so hard?

• 8:18Hannah Berner?

  I walk out and she goes, Mom, look at her now. And then she literally was like, tag the stylist, bitch, give credit where credit's due. And she's walking, she's looking, none, she loves me. She's literally like you when I have glam. She's following me around. She's like, you're like a princess, you're like a princess.

• 8:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:35Hannah Berner?

  She's like, literally, my brother was like, doesn't Paige like you better when you're pretty? I'm like, yeah, I'm literally like reliving Paige through this little girl's eyes.

• 8:45Paige DeSorbo?

  She has a pink aura.

• 8:46Hannah Berner?

  We go to the pool, God forbid I pick out my own bathing suit. And at some point, I'm like, this, I need to talk to Jeannie about the control issues, but anyway.

• 8:53Paige DeSorbo?

  She's literally standing at the pool, she's like, why is no one ready?

• 8:58Hannah Berner?

  And she goes, we have to change. And she, I basically was like, do you want to pick out a bathing suit? And she goes, take them all out, take them all out. So, I put them all on the floor.

• 9:07Paige DeSorbo?

  She goes, because what I've seen, because what I've seen.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  She's literally.

• 9:12Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like smoking a cigarette.

• 9:16Hannah Berner?

  Get out of my head, get out of my head, you've not really freaked me out.

• 9:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I just, I just picture her standing in your bedroom doorway like, this is it?

• 9:26Hannah Berner?

  She's taking smoke breaks in between.

• 9:28Paige DeSorbo?

  We're in the Hamptons, this is what you have?

• 9:32Hannah Berner?

  Oh, God. So, she looks through and she loves things that are sparkly, but I don't have any sparkly bathing suits.

• 9:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't have any sparkly bathing suits? You're 34, get a grip.

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  She's literally like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 9:49Paige DeSorbo?

  She holds one up, she goes, really?

• 9:51Hannah Berner?

  She took a lighter and started burning one. She goes, never wear this again. Who let you buy this? She's like, is this, how many Amazon bathing suits does a person need?

• 10:01Paige DeSorbo?

  She goes, Mom, extend my trip, I gotta be here at least a month.

• 10:05Hannah Berner?

  I don't know how I had this bathing suit. It must have been for like a theme party, like when I was 24. It's a silver bikini. And I'm like, please don't be a thong, my whole family's here, please don't be a thong. And she goes, I want you to wear this. So, this is 10:00 a.m. And I put on this silver, spring break Cancun, Girls Gone Wild bikini.

• 10:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I know which one you're talking about. I feel like it's like a little metallic.

• 10:33Hannah Berner?

  Yes, it's metallic, but like it's, this wasn't the vibe of our West Hampton morning.

• 10:42Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, do you have any heels?

• 10:46Hannah Berner?

  So, I walk outside with her, my dad, my brother, Jeannie, Bobby, my mom are just sitting on the couch. And they're just, they're not even dealing with it at that point. They're like.

• 10:55Paige DeSorbo?

  They're not phased by it.

• 10:56Hannah Berner?

  So, we go in the pool together and she loves mermaids. So, I'm like, am I a mermaid? I'm looking at her and I'm like, my hair is in the water. I'm like, am I a mermaid? And she goes, you're a fish.

• 11:11Hannah Berner?

  She's like, don't give yourself, you're a fish.

• 11:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Eight, eight, eight down with that, cleared the whole room, cleared the whole pool.

• 11:20Hannah Berner?

  But why she loves me is because one thing Aunt Hannah has, she's got the credit card.

• 11:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:27Hannah Berner?

  And one thing about me is I can't say no to Lois Burner. And she looked at me and she goes, can we go to the fashion store?

• 11:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is that just like any store that has clothes?

• 11:39Hannah Berner?

  Yes, where she can get her clothes. And I said, if I, how many new clothes do you want? And she was like, a hundred. And I said,

• 11:49Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, I haven't seen them yet, bitch. Like, what do you mean? She's like, we haven't stepped in the store.

• 11:54Hannah Berner?

  But what I love about her is I talked to her like an adult and I said, Lois, if I get you a hundred new clothes, where are you gonna put your other clothes? And she goes, in my dresser, in the garage, and I'll get rid of the old ones. She had a full point. She goes, I have an organizing team coming over. And we're gonna donate the ones that I don't wear anymore because it doesn't fit me anymore. So I actually do need the new clothes.

• 12:13Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, I'm doing a brand deal with an organizational company. Don't you worry about it.

• 12:17Hannah Berner?

  I see the montage right now, Lois Burner's walk in closet.

• 12:20Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, by the looks of it, you don't care about organizing, so buzz off.

• 12:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Now, is she into like toys at all, or is she strictly like fashion?

• 12:31Hannah Berner?

  So we did get distracted by the toy shop. She was like, would it be crazy if I got some toys too? And I said, okay.

• 12:37Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, and then we'll get lattes.

• 12:39Hannah Berner?

  It's literally like, I was just on a girl date. We did pool, we did shopping, we did come up with outfits. She got the Demon Hunters Barbie. She loves Barbie. She wanted every Barbie and I was so proud of myself. I was like, pick one Barbie.

• 12:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how parents are even on TikTok because I feel like even when I get like a TikTok ad for like some toy or game, I'm like, I want it. Like, I need to get, I don't know how moms aren't just buying everything.

• 13:07Hannah Berner?

  And the algorithm's so good, like if, like she loves purple dresses, so I just keep getting fed purple dresses and I'm like, well, I can't not get that purple dress. But then she did a page and she's, it's like this crazy toy store. And she's looking, like she's going in the detail, she's reading the fine print. And she goes, I want that. And I'm like, what? And it's like all the way in the back. I don't even know how she saw it.

• 13:30Hannah Berner?

  It's an infant baby.

• 13:31Paige DeSorbo?

  She's a mother.

• 13:32Hannah Berner?

  With a full bassinet. And she goes, with the bassinet. I go, how do you know what a bassinet is? I don't know what a bassinet is.

• 13:41Paige DeSorbo?

  She looked, she looked at you and she goes, spell it, like, get it.

• 13:43Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I'm supposed to hold my baby raw? You need a bassinet. So she's holding the bassinet baby while calling me ugly and it was the most fun, but I'm, I'm exhausted. Oh, then not to bring up Walt Disney again. Do you know that's a theme on the, well, remember we talked about Bambi?

• 14:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

• 14:05Hannah Berner?

  We don't remember anything we've ever talked about on this pod. We start fresh. I go, nice to meet you.

• 14:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're like 50 first dates when we get on the pod. We're like,

• 14:13Hannah Berner?

  There are so many times, I'll go fully into a story, I'll finish it and Paige will be like, you said that last week. And I go, cut it, Grace. Cut it. So do you know who Hans Christian Andersen is?

• 14:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 14:24Hannah Berner?

  He's not a guy on the Norway football team.

• 14:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 14:30Hannah Berner?

  He wrote The Little Mermaid. He's like the guy.

• 14:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 14:33Hannah Berner?

  Of course, he's written by a man.

• 14:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 14:36Hannah Berner?

  So my mom has like this old book of like Hans Christian Andersen.

• 14:40Paige DeSorbo?

  They were, he was like, what's my dream if women, shut the fuck up?

• 14:45Hannah Berner?

  I read the original Little Mermaid to her and it's, it's a novel, like it's like 60 pages, but like a ton of words. And she like somehow knows when I skip words, like it's kind of weird. Cause I'm like, you can't read. How'd you know that I'd like skipped four paragraphs? But um, the real story of The Little Mermaid is crazy.

• 15:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it? Like what? Like dark and twisted?

• 15:08Hannah Berner?

  Basically, when I got, my mom's walking by and she goes, you're gonna need to change the ending, walks away. I go, what the fuck's with that?

• 15:14Paige DeSorbo?

  You had to pull a Charlotte's Web.

• 15:16Hannah Berner?

  No, I didn't have to change the ending. I had to change the whole plot line. So it starts off,

• 15:21Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 15:22Hannah Berner?

  Basically this girl, I mean, it starts cute. She's like a mermaid and she sees a prince on the boat. And who's really hot. And I'm like, but even though the guy's hot, doesn't mean you're gonna be happier in life. I try to put those stuff in, you know? Um, it's a little male centered.

• 15:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 15:38Hannah Berner?

  So then, oh no, the kids, the kids are coming back in. I'm dead. I don't know how this is gonna work out. All they do is yell. This is crazy. Why are they back? I told them 10:30. Why are they back? Okay, let's have Lois say hi and then I'll kick them out. Lois!

• 15:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 15:51Hannah Berner?

  Sorry about this. Hope you, hope you don't have anything important to do. Lois, come in here. Come in here. I'm on Giggly Squad. Do you want to say hi? Come in. I'm gonna, there's Princess Paige.

• 16:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, Princess Lois. Look at that princess dress. I love your dress.

• 16:15Hannah Berner?

  Put together an outfit for me? What did you get me to wear? Remember the white dress?

• 16:23Hannah Berner?

  What color bathing suit should I wear today?

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Pink.

• 16:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Pink, yeah. Cause, hello sir?

• 16:31Hannah Berner?

  Bobby, say hi, Giggly Squad.

• 16:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Hello, mister. I'm Anna Few Words.

• 16:36Hannah Berner?

  What color bathing suit should Paige wear?

• 16:39Paige DeSorbo?

  What color bathing suit should I wear today?

• 16:41Hannah Berner?

  She's considering a lot.

• 16:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she's like, think, she was like, well, with your skin tone right now.

• 16:48Paige DeSorbo?

  How about blue?

• 16:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, perfect. We're so similar. We think similarly, Lois.

• 16:56Hannah Berner?

  Okay, Hannah needs to finish the podcast. Can you lock them up? Or maybe just put them outside? Yeah, put them outside. Bobby, say bye to best Princess Paige.

• 17:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye, Bobby. I love your t-shirt.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  I love a flower dress.

• 17:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I love your flower dress. Do you think I could borrow it sometime?

• 17:20Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:22Hannah Berner?

  Well, show Paige how Hannah smiles. Oh yeah, how does I, how do I smile? Show Paige.

• 17:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, how does Hannah smile?

• 17:34Hannah Berner?

  A single, bye babe. I love you. A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids but never steps.

• 17:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes it's hard to be healthy, it's hard to stay on to a routine, and it's hard to know which brands are actually wellness brands and what brands are greenwashing their products or processes to be more natural or clean than they really are. That's why Nature Sunshine isn't like other companies. It isn't just inspired by nature, they protect it. Their real sustainability with 100% solar powered manufacturing and zero emissions. Their pure potent ingredients that are thoughtfully sourced and preserve natural potency. Nature Sunshine also focuses on balance and wellbeing, not just energy and performance. And they're backed by thoughtful science and patented plant derived blends that combine tradition and research.

• 18:27Paige DeSorbo?

  So whether you're looking for healthier skin or a gentle daily detox, Nature Sunshine has the only collagen that combines skin supporting marine collagen with the sun and blue light protection of lutein to defend skin against damage and boost moisture. Their delicious convenient chlorophyll sticks pack support for gut health, reduce bloat, and leave you feeling lighter and more energized. I love finding daily supplements that can help with whatever I'm going through. My favorite is their supplement for lymphatic drainage. Whenever I get a lymphatic drainage massage, I like to keep it going and trying to be healthy. And they have the perfect dropper to help support detox and boost flow in your lymphatic system.

• 19:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I also love their marine glow sticks. I'm always looking to support healthier skin in addition to getting facials. So try Nature Sunshine and experience the difference with supplements that are better for you and the planet. Go to nature sunshine dot com today and use code giggly for 20% off your first order plus free shipping. That's code giggly for 20% off your first order at nature sunshine dot com.

• 19:33Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy.

• 20:14Hannah Berner?

  So that part is already handled in the background. So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest ready with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon. One thing about me, I love a protein bar. I'm not going out into the world without my emergency protein bar. It saved me in so many situations, I can't even tell you. But when I'm eating a protein bar, it can't taste like I'm being punished, you know, for trying to eat healthy.

• 20:42Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I'm obsessed with Stars and Honey. They basically looked at protein bars and said, "Hmm, why are we choosing between something that supports our goals and something we actually want to eat?" Each bar has 15 grams of protein and only four grams of sugar, but the flavors are giving dessert, honey. Iced lemon cookie, mint chocolate chip, red velvet peanut butter mousse? Hello? Who even knew peanut butter could be a mousse?

• 21:06Hannah Berner?

  Because the best habits are the ones you can actually stick to. And consistency is a lot easier when your better-for-you snack is actually something you crave. Their standard is literally, would you still want to eat it if it weren't a protein bar? And that's the energy I need.

• 21:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Stars and Honey protein bars are now available at starsandhoney.com or Target stores nationwide. Order online or grab a box on your next Target run. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more often than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiatory connects you with real psychiatric care, so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works for you. Talkiatory is a 100% online psychiatric practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. Unlike therapy online platforms, Talkiatory is psychiatry.

• 22:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when appropriate. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. And because you continue with the same provider, you're not starting over each visit. Your treatment can evolve with you, so you're actually making progress over time. And with more than 300,000 patients that have already found high-quality psychiatric care through Talkiatory, head to talkiatory.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

• 22:41Paige DeSorbo?

  That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatory.com/giggly. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, "Okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe a pull-up, something I saved on Instagram, but there's never really any planning behind it." That's what I've been loving about the Ladder app. I open it and my workout is already planned for me by an expert coach. I know exactly what exercises I'm doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives me cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like having a personal trainer in my headphones. I love using this whenever I'm in hotels.

• 23:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been using it for a while now, and I see and also feel myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now, so that will definitely be in my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets, because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether what I'm doing is working. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan.

• 24:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Use my link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 24:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, this is like so niche, but like, I remember like random quotes from like childhood movies that I was obsessed with, that I watched every single, like, day. And there was a quote in Matilda where the truncheable says, "Ugh, kids, glad I never was one." And I, and I think about it every time I see a child. I go, "Ugh, kids, glad I never was one."

• 24:40Hannah Berner?

  See, when I see a kid, I turn into a four-year-old. Like, we're just four-year-olds together. Okay, so back to the little mermaid. She's so fucked up. So she sees, but she was like, "He's tall, he has green eyes." I'm like, "Lois, do not fall for this." I've fallen for it before. Just because you see him across the room with tall, blue eyes doesn't mean you're gonna like sell your fucking soul for him, okay? So then the boat, the waves get high, and he falls out the boat, and the princess saves him. So it's like, why are we saving a man that's giving Zendaya in Challengers? But anyway, so she watches him up on the shore, but then she hides because she's a mermaid. And that would be weird.

• 25:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 25:19Hannah Berner?

  When he wakes up, a different bitch finds him. And he thinks she saved him, which, that's typical like male story writing, because like, where's the communication? Like, at no point would she like, "Did you save me?" She'd be like, "No, I just found you here." But instead...

• 25:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know one time a guy sent me flowers and I thought it was someone else? And so I texted the someone else and I said, like, "Oh my God, I can't believe you sent me flowers." And he went with it for like a while.

• 25:46Hannah Berner?

  That is...

• 25:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, weeks until I found out.

• 25:50Hannah Berner?

  Do you know, that's actually an amazing move, just to text random guys, "Thank you for the flowers."

• 25:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I have before said, texted people and said, "Oh my God, did you send me flowers?" And then when they respond, you don't respond. Because then they think like, "Oh, she figured out who really sent her flowers, and now she's talking to them." And she can't respond to me.

• 26:17Hannah Berner?

  You are playing chess. Everyone else is playing checkers. So he's falling in love with this new girl who he thinks saved him, because God forbid he actually asked, "Did you save me?" So just classic miscommunication.

• 26:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 26:31Hannah Berner?

  And then she's, um, she goes back to her sisters and she's like, "I met a guy." And they're like, "No." And she's like, "No, he's really, really cute." And they're like, "He can't swim." And she's like, "No, but like, he has blue eyes, he's tall." Like, that's literally the story. She finds him, but she has to give up her voice, and she has to be naked.

• 26:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And not that much has changed in the year 2026. If I had a nickel for the amount of times...

• 27:04Hannah Berner?

  A sea witch takes her voice and then basically throws her on the shore naked and alone with no voice. And the most fucked up thing, he's into her.

• 27:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's usually how I am after a breakup. I'm naked and I have, I've lost my voice, I've lost myself.

• 27:22Hannah Berner?

  I'm a shell of myself, no pun intended.

• 27:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a shell, okay?

• 27:27Hannah Berner?

  But the thing is, somehow, he, he like befriends her. And I'm like, how do they befriend each other when she can't speak? So she's like, they're really into each other, but he goes, "But I need to marry the girl who saved me, not this beautiful mute girl who I clearly am really into." He's like, "I just love how your mind works."

• 27:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I love how you can say so much, but yet nothing at all.

• 27:53Paige DeSorbo?

  You tell such a story with your eyes.

• 27:55Hannah Berner?

  Basically, the prince was talking to her for like an hour straight and then was like, "You really get me." He was like, "You're the only one who understands me, and you're really fucking cool."

• 28:04Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you want to know what? We don't talk enough as a society, because this would like really piss the men off. It's so easy to get a guy to like you, but it's so hard to like a guy. Like, truly, you just have to ask a man three questions consecutively about one, like, thing that he likes, and he will be obsessed with you.

• 28:27Hannah Berner?

  Literally just go up to a guy and be like, "I love OG Ananobi. Did you watch, like, what did you feel about the finals? Like, wasn't that insane?" And then let him talk, the Knicks, let him talk for like...

• 28:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I thought you were asking me for a minute and I was like...

• 28:43Hannah Berner?

  Babe, I would not, no.

• 28:46Hannah Berner?

  That's two different...

• 28:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't give a flying...

• 28:48Hannah Berner?

  Be like, "Wasn't that the craziest time ever?" Um, this is for the New York summer scene. Let him talk for like 30 minutes and be like, "Same." And he'll be like, "I've actually never met someone that like can like understand me besides like, like, I feel like you're, you're like my mom."

• 29:06Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so funny, this girl made a TikTok and she was like, "I know I say, I know I've said something wrong on the internet when I have a lot of men responding, being like, 'Yeah, need more of you, like, protect her.'"

• 29:22Hannah Berner?

  Wait, no man's ever commented, "Protect her," which is hilarious. No man's ever commented, "Protect her."

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like the moment a guy says like, "Wow, like, girls aren't like you," or something like, "You've, you've gone awry, you've gone amiss, you've said something wrong."

• 29:37Hannah Berner?

  When a guy likes your outfit, it's not a good outfit.

• 29:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not, it's not good.

• 29:41Hannah Berner?

  Just one feminist moment, I have to say. I was thinking about all the red pill men, they're obsessed with like controlling women, and that's what makes them masculine. Do you know what's the most masculine thing a man can do? Protect women. Stand up for women. Like, fight for women. That is the most manly thing you could do, instead of putting down women. That's not cool, not masculine. "Oh, you're, you're stronger than us and you're trying to suppress us?" Ew, not cool.

• 30:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Guys, not cool.

• 30:20Hannah Berner?

  Ew.

• 30:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyway, okay, so the prince is like, "I want to marry you, but you don't speak."

• 30:25Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no, he goes, "I want to marry you, I love that you don't speak, but this other girl saved me." But she can't speak, so she can't be like, "She didn't save you." And I guess the other girl's just going with it, which, you know what? Good for her, he's a prince. I kind of get it. I'm like, if he wants to say that, cool. So then they throw a wedding. They throw a full wedding and

• 30:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 30:44Hannah Berner?

  She goes to it cuz she's toxic. And she's

• 30:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, literally a masochist.

• 30:51Hannah Berner?

  Dancing.

• 30:54Hannah Berner?

  I don't know if she has clothes on, but she's dancing at the wedding. And what really happens

• 31:02Hannah Berner?

  is she goes to her sister and she's like, I can't deal with him being with this other girl. And the sister goes, you should kill him. So violence gets involved.

• 31:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, and suddenly I'm back in.

• 31:17Hannah Berner?

  You guys spaced out the last 10 minutes. Now I'm clocked. I'm clocked for my shift.

• 31:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Now I'm locked in. This is, how'd she tell the sister if she can't talk? She can talk to other mermaids.

• 31:29Hannah Berner?

  Great question. I guess she can talk to other mermaids, maybe in the water. So many plot holes that in that meeting, they were like, it's Hans, let him do what he wants. Typical Hans. So then the last, my mom literally was like, you gotta change this part cuz the last picture, she instead of killing the prince, turns and kills herself.

• 31:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my.

• 31:52Hannah Berner?

  The picture is her with a knife into her chest. That's the last photo on this ancient book. So then I changed it to being like, and then they live happily ever after, but you don't need a man.

• 32:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I need to see this book. I need to see this picture.

• 32:06Hannah Berner?

  I'll put it in the newsletter. It's insane. And these, Lois is in a very vulnerable place right now. She is soaking up, she's like a sponge. Yeah. So I'm reading this and I'm like, we never had a chance.

• 32:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 32:21Hannah Berner?

  We didn't. So next time you're feeling bad.

• 32:24Paige DeSorbo?

  We never had a chance.

• 32:25Hannah Berner?

  And also like, what was Hans going through? Who hurt Hans? Who rejected Hans?

• 32:31Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so funny you say that cuz I was with one of my girlfriends the other day who's married. And I, I said to her, I was like, don't you just feel like we were fed this lie our whole like lives as women where it's like, don't worry because one day you're gonna get married and like you'll get taken care of and you'll be a mom and like all this stuff. And then like as you get older, you're just like, why do they even say that to us?

• 32:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 32:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Because now I'm like, who's taking care of me? Like, what are you talking about?

• 33:02Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. I mean, well, shout out to my dad. Every now and then he's, he says something profound. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut.

• 33:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:10Hannah Berner?

  And he's, he said, don't let a man distract you, which I've taken that with me my whole life in terms of like, if a man is annoying you, not annoying cuz men can annoy you all the time, but like if he is causing you negativity or like not pulling you in the direction that you wanna go, you get rid of him. So I think like that was really powerful at a young age to have my own dad be like, you don't need us.

• 33:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I say something that's like not as, not powerful, but like it's stupid, but it's like a

• 33:44Hannah Berner?

  Wait, let me talk to the team. Yes, you can.

• 33:49Paige DeSorbo?

  In my twenties, when I would arguably say I was like the most boy crazy, the most like pick me, like, oh my God, I have to have a boyfriend, like all of this. I've always been like a list person. I've always made a schedule for myself every single day, like just think random things I wanna get done. I've, I would notice that when I was with a certain type of man, I would do nothing on that list. Whether it was me being like fuck off to the list, or it was him actively doing things and it was like, oh, well, I don't have time to do this stuff for me because I have to do this for him. And then when you find yourself with someone where you don't even have to live together,

• 34:33Paige DeSorbo?

  but like where you find someone where you're doing everything you planned on doing that day without them as a thought, and like still you're able to get it done, I feel like that it goes undetected a lot. Like people don't talk about that as being like a real pro to a relationship. And it, it's in some part, like you're still able to be yourself. So I notice the moment I'm not doing my to do list, I'm putting way too much time into you and what you're doing, and now it's fucking my shit up. And you can tell, and if someone doesn't care about fucking your shit up, regardless of what it is, um, what scale it is, they don't care about you.

• 35:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a man is, like if I tell my boyfriend, like I have to be here at a certain time, and he's like dilly-dallying and not get

• 35:24Hannah Berner?

  He doesn't respect you.

• 35:26Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't respect me, you don't respect my time. You should be ready like 30 minutes before because you know I have to get somewhere.

• 35:33Hannah Berner?

  That was extremely profound. That was really fucking good.

• 35:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Thanks.

• 35:38Hannah Berner?

  That was so good.

• 35:41Paige DeSorbo?

  But you have to figure out what works for you, like how you notice it for you. Like I just know my to do list is a constant in my day to day, so I could like pick up it, pick it up on that.

• 35:52Hannah Berner?

  Also, when I think of dating, like a game, I'm like, like when something would happen when I was like 26 or like 25 and it didn't work out, I was like, oh yeah, cuz I'm, I'm not the person I'm gonna be and the person I'm gonna be is gonna attract better people too. So why fight for like this version, this guy who likes this version of myself that isn't even there yet? And I always say the more you focus on yourself, the more you open doors to meet people who are gonna meet you where you're at. And if you're not where you wanna be, you're not meeting people who you wanna meet.

• 36:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I really do believe that you attract the type of people

• 36:33Paige DeSorbo?

  from like what you think about yourself. Like you know how people say like, oh, if you look back at your ex-boyfriends, you can see like your mental illness or you can see how much you loved yourself?

• 36:43Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 36:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Like if I really did a timeline, like you can see what happened in certain relationships and why you go like opposite sometimes because you're like, that was really crazy. I need, I need no part in that ever again. So it's just interesting. You really have to like take self-inventory when you're dating someone cuz it's so easy to get wrapped up in those first six months. And if it's not blissful in the first six months, why are you even there?

• 37:12Hannah Berner?

  If the dopamine still, he's still annoying you, you're still fighting with the dopamine.

• 37:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I think if you're getting in like any type of like screaming match, breakdown, fight in the first six months, it's not for you. You don't need to even. I should have taken my own advice so many times.

• 37:29Hannah Berner?

  That's why now you can speak on it because you're like, guys, I've ignored this for years. And I've, I didn't believe it.

• 37:36Paige DeSorbo?

  For years.

• 37:37Hannah Berner?

  I have to admit something like, oh, I feel like I just have to say my intrusive thoughts on this pod. I saw a video of Benson Boone.

• 37:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. I still don't quite know who that is.

• 37:47Hannah Berner?

  Not important.

• 37:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Say it again. Refresh my memory.

• 37:49Hannah Berner?

  You'll know who it is when I tell you this story. He's in front of his tour bus and there's like all these fans. And he decides I'm gonna do a front flip.

• 37:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 37:58Hannah Berner?

  Benson Boone is the guy who does front flips. Like he flips off pianos and stuff.

• 38:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 38:04Hannah Berner?

  He was like on the VMAs. I'm obsessed. Did you have no idea who Benson Boone is? That's incredible.

• 38:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I have no idea real, who he is. Like I couldn't

• 38:11Hannah Berner?

  That's so peaceful. That's so peaceful.

• 38:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Picking him out of a lineup, couldn't do it.

• 38:17Hannah Berner?

  The toxic side of me was like, I was making fun of him in my head, but then I'm like, wait, if I could do a front flip. And I was on a Giggly Squad tour.

• 38:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, we'd be done for.

• 38:26Hannah Berner?

  And there were a bunch of gigglers standing there. I'm doing a front flip.

• 38:30Paige DeSorbo?

  The best thing that ever happened to us as a society is that you never got into competitive cheerleading.

• 38:35Hannah Berner?

  No, well, apparently I was put into gymnastics, but like I was, I wasn't good.

• 38:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I just feel like there's an alternate reality where you were like really into sports, but like more like my kind of sports, but you like dominated.

• 38:52Hannah Berner?

  Bring it on.

• 38:52Paige DeSorbo?

  You want a competitive, you want a competitive cheerleading team as the main base?

• 38:58Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was the base.

• 38:59Paige DeSorbo?

  It'd be insane.

• 39:01Hannah Berner?

  Hannah Coaden is the base. You're the, what is it, flyer? You're the top of the pyramid.

• 39:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. You're like a, a one-armed piked like

• 39:09Hannah Berner?

  Look Paige, this is why our friendship works out. Someone is at the top of the pyramid and someone's at the bottom. And that's how it balances. And I'm always bottom of the pyramid. Get on my back.

• 39:21Paige DeSorbo?

  When you're looking for a best friend, you have to find your base.

• 39:25Hannah Berner?

  She's sturdy.

• 39:26Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to go find something, you have to find something grounded.

• 39:30Hannah Berner?

  She's going home with down.

• 39:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, someone, someone sent like a picture of, I think it was like a horse race and one of the horse's names was Quadzilla.

• 39:38Hannah Berner?

  Wait, the best thing I've ever seen on the internet is the video a giggler made of the two horses talking. Can you explain it?

• 39:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if you didn't see either of our stories or on the Giggly Squad, there was a giggler that has these two gorgeous horses and she did one me, one Hannah and it's

• 39:59Hannah Berner?

  Because the horse that's me is like

• 40:03Hannah Berner?

  And the horse that's page is like, wait, with like a perfect bang, like a side sweat bang.

• 40:07Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like barely opening her mouth. She's like, what's going on?

• 40:09Hannah Berner?

  It's so good.

• 40:11Paige DeSorbo?

  You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself reaching for over and over again? The sweater that somehow works with everything, the jeans you know will always fit just right, and the bag you carry everywhere. Those are the pieces that earn a permanent place in your wardrobe, and that's exactly what Quince does so well. Quince takes elevated everyday essentials using premium material like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and premium stretch denim. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted, and made to be worn again and again. Their 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters start at just $50, giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. I have so many different sweaters from Quince because I love just throwing them over my shoulder, even in the summer. I think it's a chic look.

• 40:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Find the fall pieces you'll reach for the most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com, get free shipping on your order, and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know that Giggly Squad sent you. It's the best way to support our show. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work? Outfit. Leading a meeting? Outfit. Getting drinks with your friends? Obviously outfit.

• 41:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Allies from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute, and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans and oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers, too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season, it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy, and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried.

• 42:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready-to-wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically, you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night, because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15. Whenever a girl gets an idea in her head, she must execute it, and especially when it comes to interior design. Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. I recently, on a Friday, had an idea to redo my boyfriend's entire living room, and let me tell you how quick everything came.

• 43:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, by Tuesday, I was sending pictures and showing it off. My favorite thing and most important thing that I ordered was a living room rug. I really wanted to add some green in there. It's just very calming. And the rug came so fast, was so easy to put down, and transformed the entire space. You can shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season. You can use filters, custom photos, and more than 20 million verified 5-star reviews to confidently find the right fit for your home. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase.

• 43:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Head to wayfair.com and shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 43:59Hannah Berner?

  One thing about me is with the new season, I like to have a new personality. You never have to stick to one personality, and people don't talk about it enough.

• 44:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if I'm wearing a hat, I'm a different person. Okay, the weather totally changes how you feel, and it's obviously like getting a little cooler out, and I'm a different girl in a turtleneck.

• 44:19Hannah Berner?

  And part of rebranding is getting new clothes, and that's why I love Revolve. They have everything I need to be a completely new person that no one's ever met before, whether it's denim, such as an angled barrel jean. I'm so different when I'm wearing a barrel jean. People do respect me more.

• 44:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a creative director of somewhere.

• 44:41Hannah Berner?

  Then boots with a little kitten heel or a high heel. When I'm wearing boots, I command a room.

• 44:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and don't get me started on just like a really good dinner outfit. You get me a new blazer to go out to dinner. I'm having a time.

• 44:56Hannah Berner?

  And then people forget that on Revolve, there's also beauty. They have menswear, they have home, and they have Forward Renew, which is pre-owned luxury handbags, and you know how much we love vintage.

• 45:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been recently loving Helsa's stuff. I feel like the first place I go to look is Revolve. And the number one thing I love about Revolve is order a bunch of stuff. Try it on in the comfort of your home. Easiest return ever. It's the only place I shop that I don't feel bad ordering extra stuff, because I'm like, I have the luxury of trying it on and having the easiest returns.

• 45:33Hannah Berner?

  And the shipping is so fast, and if you're like me and you don't know what you're doing two days from now, and then you're like, oh shit, I have a huge important dinner, use Revolve. It's so fast, and it's curated, so the website's really easy. I have been recently obsessed with, just like Norma Kamali. The capris that she has are so cute for fall, so comfy, stretchy, and perfect.

• 45:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Revolve also carries the brands that you genuinely know and love. There's also room for discovering things. Everything's curated. You can find new brands you love, new styles you feel like wearing. Revolve just makes shopping easier. All the brands you want, consistently updated, new arrivals, fast shipping, easy returns, and inevitably something you did not know you needed until five seconds ago. Go to revolve.com/giggly to shop our faves and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's revolve.com/giggly, code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.

• 46:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so how long are you a mother for? Like, when do the sweet babies leave?

• 46:39Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'm literally in Shelter Island, like staying at my parents' house to spend more time with them. And last night at the beach, Lois came up to me and said, can I fix your smile? And she, with her little thumbs, she tried to pull my mouth back. And I was like...

• 46:57Paige DeSorbo?

  She goes, "Psst, Hannah, I can't look at you anymore."

• 47:01Hannah Berner?

  Wait, what's the, what's the Bravo quote where she's like, "There's no plane, baby." There's no...

• 47:06Paige DeSorbo?

  There's no plane? Yeah, there's, I actually don't even really know what that's from, but like, I feel like I've quoted it myself.

• 47:14Hannah Berner?

  Her name's Taylor, and like, I think her baby was like, can we go on the private plane? But like, she got divorced and they don't have the plane anymore, and she's like, "There's no plane."

• 47:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, bring back unattainable people to reality TV. Like, like, sorry, I need like OG, early 2000s.

• 47:30Hannah Berner?

  Generational wealth.

• 47:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I want to see some shit I've never seen before in someone's home. Like, I want someone who like presses a bell in each room and like a butler comes in. You know, like, I want something...

• 47:44Hannah Berner?

  Where are the butlers in New York City? Where'd they go?

• 47:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. Do you think anyone has, still has like legitimate butler? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure. Think about like, any like really rich person in the Hamptons. Think about the tea their house management has. Like, that's a reality show, but then they'd all get fired.

• 48:08Hannah Berner?

  But like, worth it. But within, within each other, they talk. Sorry, my Zoom is like freaking out. Hello? And we're on. What were you saying?

• 48:17Paige DeSorbo?

  What was I saying? I have no idea. You know, you can't say that. I have like, what?

• 48:21Hannah Berner?

  I had no idea. Um, oh, people are also sending me a video of this girl. All her friends were like at the beach, and she's with her boyfriend. And he turns to like, propose, I think, but she doesn't know he's proposing and everyone's looking at her, so she just does a split. And everyone's like, this would be you if you could, and I'm like, literally? That's all I want to do? So she's in a split, he's like trying to propose, and she's like, is anyone, did anyone think that was a good split?

• 48:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so funny, because obviously recently I'm obsessed with stretching my hips.

• 48:56Hannah Berner?

  Are you gonna get a split and do it on tour?

• 48:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what? I'd have to silently be working toward doing a split, and then I'd have to bust it out and surprise you.

• 49:08Hannah Berner?

  But you know, I can't handle that emotionally. Like, I would, like, I'd, I'd cry. I'd be so proud of you, but that would require you getting out of the seat.

• 49:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, I'm not, I'm not practicing to do a split. I just, I just need to be more aligned, mentally, physically.

• 49:26Hannah Berner?

  One thing about us, you know I love when you say no to me. Because then in six years, you know you will be doing splits on stage. Like, I love when you're like, Hannah, I would never, Hannah, stop. Hannah, I won't do that. I'm like, you're getting a cat. You're getting a cat.

• 49:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so in six years, I'm a Pilates instructor who has seven kids.

• 49:49Hannah Berner?

  I wanted D-Center Men, but I also did, like, a guy was watching Friends on the plane, and I was watching it, and I was thinking about, we've never talked about this. Which man on Friends did you like?

• 50:04Paige DeSorbo?

  We've never talked about this? Do you know, I've like never really watched Friends.

• 50:09Hannah Berner?

  I never did either. It was always just like on in the background in like my friends' places.

• 50:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like, I've never sat down, pilot episode. I know maybe like the gist of it, but obviously...

• 50:21Hannah Berner?

  I know, but Smelly Cat, because I'm, you know, I have a pulse.

• 50:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because you're alive, you're in the culture. But obviously Joey.

• 50:30Hannah Berner?

  Same.

• 50:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I mean, he's the cutest one for sure.

• 50:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm just gonna say this, because I'm gonna be honest. Of the three guys on Friends, they're the kind of guys that like, if I walked into a room, I wouldn't be into them. But if I heard one of them thought I was hot, I would fall in love with them. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I mean, like David Schwimmer or whatever, I'd be like, he's not that cute. But if they're like, he likes you, I'd be like, okay, he could be my boyfriend. Same with the other one, Chandler. Like, they're cute enough that if they like-

• 51:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, R.I.P.

• 51:05Hannah Berner?

  It's so sad. It's so, so sad. But Joey, I think they tried to make it like he was dumb. And I was like, he's an actor. He had to memorize lines. He wasn't that dumb.

• 51:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And then there was like a stint where he was with Jennifer Aniston, but and I don't like know about that storyline, but I know that I like don't like it. Because I just don't, I didn't, I don't like that vibe. I don't know. There's something about, there's something, I love a sitcom too. Like, I love a thirty minute, like funny, like, whatever. I think all the girls in it, I love looking at them. Like, I love. Yeah, I loved all of that. But for whatever reason, I just like could never get into it. I don't know if it's because it, it came out at a time where we were like way too young to watch it. And then when we got old enough to watch it, it was almost like it was such an older show at that time.

• 51:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like Gen Z's love Friends. Cause that it was like nostalgia, it was like old. It's like us watching Saved by the Bell, maybe.

• 52:07Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so crazy to think that like, Gen Z doesn't know about watching TV like on TV. Like, remember like, was there ever a show that you watched either like middle school or high school that you waited?

• 52:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, Desperate Housewives.

• 52:23Paige DeSorbo?

  And then like during commercials, you would like run? Desperate Housewives. Okay, mine would probably be like Gilmore Girls or something.

• 52:30Hannah Berner?

  Um, Jersey Shore, um, The Hills. Yeah, but that was like older. I'm just listening to everything I've ever watched on TV. My Super Sweet Sixteen.

• 52:40Paige DeSorbo?

  When you're around kids, does it make you like, oh my God, I'm, I know I'm even more ready for children? Or does it make you like, that's, it's a lot. Like, does it make you re like?

• 52:52Hannah Berner?

  I know exactly how moms feel when they say, it's so difficult, but so beautiful.

• 52:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:59Hannah Berner?

  Like, I just become the like, making up things. I'm like, it's, it's the, you're unhappy, but you're so happy and you lose yourself and you find yourself. Like, I literally feel like that. Like, at the end of the day, I'm like, that was so horrible, but I loved every second of it. Like,

• 53:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:14Hannah Berner?

  But it is crazy where at this time and age, where like, no woman can fully explain the true experience of motherhood in like a easy way.

• 53:23Paige DeSorbo?

  One of the craziest things too, that I think that we like, in society, is obviously right when you turn thirty, people are like, when you're getting married, when you're having a baby. But it's like, we get pushed to have a baby and then you have a problem after you have a baby and it, and like, I feel like the healthcare system's like, figured out yourself.

• 53:45Hannah Berner?

  Oh, for sure.

• 53:46Paige DeSorbo?

  You had the baby, figured out yourself. It's not like you know if you're gonna have postpartum. Like, it's not something you can really, truly, I feel like, prepare for.

• 53:53Hannah Berner?

  And it's not something that like, women freely can talk about. I feel like, I didn't even hear about postpartum until like, the last five years. Like, in my ether.

• 54:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally, I remember asking my mom maybe like a couple of years ago, like, did you have experienced postpartum with either of your pregnancies? Did you have any friends that like had it? She goes, one, we didn't call it that.

• 54:19Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, what did you call it? She goes, we called it the baby blues.

• 54:23Hannah Berner?

  What a good rebrand.

• 54:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And she goes, uh, like, yeah, everyone's like a little sad after, like, I guess I was a little bit, but I had nothing like crazy. And I'm like, that's so fucking insane. It's not like you had me in the sixties. It was nineteen ninety-two. Like, no one asked a follow-up after like, you had an extremely traumatic birth. And she was like, not really, no.

• 54:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that's just so crazy to me.

• 54:55Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 54:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. I just like, think about it a lot.

• 54:58Hannah Berner?

  Well, you finally get comfortable with your identity sometimes, like in your thirties. And then you have a kid and you're like, wait, I just started to like who I was.

• 55:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, that's what it is, I think, too.

• 55:07Hannah Berner?

  Which is weird.

• 55:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Where in your twenties, I almost feel like it's, you're easier with change in your twenties, because like, everything is changing. Where in your thirties, it, things are a little bit steadier. You've, you know, you're maybe like in the same apartment for more years. You've been dating someone, the same person. So like, things aren't as crazy. And then you have a baby and you're like, like, I feel like you're right back to what the fuck is going on in my life.

• 55:35Hannah Berner?

  They explain the love of children and then the sadness of having children is like, you don't know it until you experience it. So it's so hard for these male doctors who are studying it to be like, this is what's going on.

• 55:49Hannah Berner?

  I have a pregnant lady in my house right now.

• 55:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I just feel like if this is a wild thing to say, but like, being a man and being an OBGYN, I'm like, but how do you know?

• 55:58Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm calling the police.

• 56:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, how do you know though? And I'm sure there's so many lovely, nice men who are OBGYNs, but I'm like, I can never explain it to you.

• 56:11Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 56:13Hannah Berner?

  I think this should be illegal.

• 56:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I didn't get any of that because it's breaking up, but I'm just like going with it.

• 56:19Hannah Berner?

  Oh, fuck. You guys, my internet's breaking up. Is it still breaking up? Okay, you know what? I'm gonna move. I'm gonna move. Oh, wait.

• 56:30Hannah Berner?

  I lost internet.

• 56:33Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can you hear me now?

• 56:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:36Hannah Berner?

  Okay. I watched the Michael Jackson movie.

• 56:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you did? What'd you think?

• 56:41Hannah Berner?

  Is the guy, his cousin, or like his, the guy who played Michael Jackson, he's like related to him, I think.

• 56:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Is he?

• 56:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. That's why it's so interesting. And, sorry, I thought he was spectacular in it.

• 56:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Spectacular. Great actor.

• 56:56Hannah Berner?

  Great acting, great singing, great dancing. I mean, I don't know if the singing was real, but the dancing was like, I couldn't keep my eyes off this guy. I'm like, I think we have the new Michael Jackson.

• 57:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you a Michael Jackson, like, take, like, take him out of it? Are you like a Michael Jackson music fan?

• 57:11Hannah Berner?

  I think I'm just like a normal, like, yeah, Michael Jackson. Everyone knows Michael Jackson. He's great. But after watching the movie, I went to my parents and I'm like, when Beat It first dropped, what was that actually? Like, did you guys lose your fucking minds when Beat It dropped? And they were like, yeah. And I'm like, cause also it wasn't like, you know, now we get like a little notification, like someone's album's on Spotify and you don't click it. Like, back then it was like, Michael Jackson, that was like the number one news for like a year when he dropped a song.

• 57:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it also like moved, it, he started like almost like a whole new genre. Like, the music sounded so different. Yeah, like what was the vibe when Beat It dropped? Like, imagine clubbing and hearing that for the first time?

• 57:59Hannah Berner?

  No, I was like, were the boomboxes just like all Michael Jackson? Also Thriller, the fact that he creatively came up with that. Like, he was like, I'm gonna do makeup, like I'm dying and then I'm gonna, like, every, like, am I lagging?

• 58:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:18Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God.

• 58:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's okay.

• 58:20Hannah Berner?

  I do think there's a part two about like all the other shit that went down. Cause it end, it ended like, there's more to, did you see the ending?

• 58:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I saw the ending, but like, I, I, I,

• 58:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so annoyed by like the movie and television industry, because we went away from network TV and going to the movies. Okay, fine, you got us away from that. Now we're streaming everything. Now we're barely even going to the movies. Stop breaking things into two parts. Stop putting out eight episodes and acting like you did a whole season. And then taking two years for the next season to come out. And stop breaking up longer seasons. Oh, okay, you have fifteen episodes? Stop giving me six and then telling me I have to wait till November for the rest of them. Get it together. Like Wicked doing two parts, ridiculous.

• 59:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Ridiculous. We didn't need the second part. The Michael Jackson thing, okay, there was a lot of stuff you probably could have taken out of the first one. We don't need a second part. Give me one movie. Anyway, that's how we feel. Because I'm sick of it. I'm sick of streaming platforms being like, okay, you'll get the next part in six months. No, fuck you. I want it now.

• 59:35Hannah Berner?

  Oh, fuck.

• 59:38Hannah Berner?

  Can you guys hear me?

• 59:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny because I feel like Hannah's smiling.

• 59:42Hannah Berner?

  Can you hear me now?

• 59:47Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, it froze.

• 59:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, the rant is so funny with no one saying anything back.

• 59:55Hannah Berner?

  Can you hear me now?

• 59:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, we're, I think we're gonna wrap up today's, I think we're gonna wrap up today's episode.

• 1:00:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, um, I've never wrapped up the episode before. I feel like that's all the time that we have for today. We'll be back on Monday. Don't forget to get our merch. Hannah will be childless by then. See ya.

• 1:00:18Hannah Berner?

  And I'm back. Lost Paige. Um, it's hard being a mother. That's what we learned today. To be a career woman and a loving mother. It's hard to have it all. But you know what? In spite of all that, we still finished the pod with our heads held high. And if you're a new giggler, this is called just a day in the life of being a giggler. We're very bad at admin. And if you're an old giggler, you knew that was gonna happen. You knew that we weren't gonna be able to figure that out. But we persist and we deal with adversity. And I hope you guys have the most beautiful weekend ever. And that is literally so Paige. It's literally what we do on FaceTime calls. We're like, we get cut off and like, haven't heard from her since.

• 1:01:04Hannah Berner?

  Might not hear from her all weekend. We'll see. Actually, no, she just sent me a voice note about something completely unrelated. Um, but we love you. Paige loves you. Keep smiling, San Diego. Never said it in my life.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Everyone knows those red Target bags, but what's inside? That's a different story for everybody. Maybe it's something new you didn't know you needed. Something that makes life a little easier? Or turns an ordinary Tuesday into something to look forward to? Because a Target bag isn't just full of things. It's full of what you need, what you love, and even what you'll love next. This fall, all that's new and uniquely you. It's in the bag, only at Target.

• 1:01:55Speaker 04

  Lucky Land Casino. Imagine signing up and finding your welcome surprise already waiting. Spin free with gold coins or collect sweep coins, plus daily login delights. Sign up now. Let the magic talk. Lucky Land Casino, where the magic happens. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Void where prohibited by law. CT&Cs. Twenty-one plus.