Giggly Squad
Hosted by Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Hannah has a new hobby. Paige is busy hair cycling and yelling at men. subscribe to our newsletter
12,691 words · 3 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.
Like so many people have my location.
And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.
And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.
Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?
Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.
And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.
And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.
Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...
Please, nobody speak to me.
Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.
And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.
And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.
Which truly women deserve.
We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.
Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.
And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.
And we spend enough of our lives being on.
Exactly.
We don't need to be on in the car.
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Sup, gigglers? Carrie, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
What's up, my greasy gigglers? It's Friday, Friday, everyone's on a Friday.
You know, I got dressed this morning and I was like, oh my God, so cute, like preppy. She's giving beach house. She's giving second home. And then I got on the Zoom and I'm like, I'm just dressed like Hannah.
No, but when you do it, it's chic. I'm obsessed with it. You look like you're in boarding school and just gave your first handjob and you like, don't know what to do and you don't know if it went well or not.
And like, it's sticky and like, it kind of smells. No one warns you? No one tells you that it does in fact smell? That's something you learn on your own.
His dick.
The cum, I would say.
Oh, I try not to get that close.
I think the first time I was like, oh. Guys. Gross.
I would get into it, but I'm pretty sure I have a 15 minute bit about um how back in the day we used to like swallow and stuff on my upcoming special, so.
Anyway.
We're gonna have to save that. Anyway, um.
Wait, I wanted to bring up your special because I wanted to make it about me for a minute.
Please, please, please, please.
How you know that you have a true, real friendship with someone? No, seriously, listen to this.
Like, it's so easy to be happy when your friend is happy, like, oh my god, like, we're going out tonight, or like, something, whatever. But when your friend is stressed, now, mind you, when you were filming the special, I was getting a massage, but I knew. I knew how stressed you were for the trailer to come out, that like, when it did get posted, I felt relief. I was like, cute. And now she doesn't have to worry about that, you know?
Well, you also sent me the cutest, sweetest, funniest text. She goes, I realize I never texted you for your trailer and I had a parasocial relationship instead, congrats, which is basically, she commented on every photo I posted, she reposted everything. She was on a full PR campaign for me yesterday and then was like, hey, sorry, I didn't text you directly, are you mad?
Well, I was like, I'm no better than someone on Reddit. Like, I literally made up that I have a friendship with this woman.
Every now and then, when you do something like really big, I I turn into a fan and then I'm like, if I text her. She really busy right now.
Is she doing it right now? Like, is she on set now?
We had an airport moment where I was like, I'm gonna show you this trailer and I just wanna see your thoughts. And that was like, the test. Like, you didn't realize it, but if you didn't have a decent reaction to it, and I didn't need you like, laughing hysterically, I just, I just know when you like something.
Yeah.
And you had a great reaction. I was like, I don't give a fuck. Paige liked it. We're good. And that's how you have to be with creativity. Like if the people you care about love it as much as you do, you go for it. And also, we're just talking about the trailer right now, but I'm just a real perfectionist.
You really are. It's actually exhausting. You think my hair cycling is exhausting? Listening to you like make art is so exhausting.
Well, people don't talk about it. I'm I'm a Virgo moon. People never talk about it. Never brought up in any of these, you know, thought, thought things that people post.
It's not brought up because no one, I feel like I have a front row seat to you as a businesswoman.
It's not, it's not relaxing.
There's nobody I know other than Hannah that will start something and then halfway through be like, this is horrible. I can't believe you guys even let me get this far. I'm changing the whole thing.
When I fail, I fail fast and I'm I'm I love to move. I love change. I will pivot. I'm a pivoter. But also, by the way, just so you guys get a glimpse behind the curtain. So Grace sends us all these clips from what happened on the pod and Paige literally is like, love, cute. Can you actually like, um, change the background of that? Or like, can you not use my face in that one?
Well, sometimes Grace picks the most diabolical screenshots of me and I'm like, Grace acted like you've met me before.
Grace thinks you're beautiful in every angle. That's why. And I will come in and be like, Grace, at point four seconds, there's like two, and I'm like, I, we can't post this. This is not good enough. And then I'll be like, at point seven, five seconds, you have to cut that faster and then like, do actually like a CGI moment over my head when I say this joke. Paige doesn't respond. Grace and I are in like eight hours of editing.
I'm like Hannah's skin color is giving orange, so maybe we change the lighting? But everything else is great. You guys are crushing.
Can you make the Hannah look aesthetically pleasing for like a second? But that's the thing. Like when I'm with an outfit, I'm like, I'm stressed about editing clips. I don't have time.
My favorite thing is like when we talk about merch and you say, Paige, what do you think? I'm like, sorry, it's my time. Um.
Also, actually, we don't know where Grace is. She's supposed to be on this virtual, we don't know where she is. And Paige said, tell Grace to join at her own leisure. And I just want to say shout out to you for like, thinking of words. I talk for a living, but I actually don't do words. You talk for a living. You love a word.
Well, you know what?
Not like a full sentence, a word.
Mm hmm. I, it's true. I could make one word my whole personality. I love a word that has an alternative rich person way to say said word.
Mm, like foyer.
Yes, like foyer. Like, I love someone that would be like, oh, my god, leisure. But then there's like a rich woman that says leisure. Like actual leisure. Like, I like, um, I feel like I feel like I have so many words. Like, okay, actually, this is so crazy. You know, like the word mature? Sometime, one time I heard this woman pronounce it mature. And I, I literally remember where I was, how old I was, what I was doing when I heard that. Cause I was like, oh, my god, she's not like other girls.
Well, not to talk about my husband, because that's annoying, but cause he grew up in Europe, he says some funky ass words. And at first I'm like, you are so dumb. You said that word wrong. And then he's like, Google it. And I'm like, oh, it's the European way. You're actually better than me. Sorry. Sorry.
I actually do think that sometimes I can have, actually.
Sorry, whenever I have a thought.
Period. Whenever I have a thought, brain explodes.
I saw this girl, she made this TikTok and she was talking about how, um, women, there's like a bunch of people that will do like.
She's talking about women.
There that will do full studies on linguistics and the separation between men and women and things they say. And they're, and she was talking about how women say like a lot and.
I mean, I've never, but some other women.
But like how women are like, oh, my god, all she does is say like, and like, um, like that we have a lot of filler words. And some girl commented the video. And was like, I'm actually learning about this for like my thesis in linguistics or whatever. And she said, from like all the studies people have done, women don't get to talk a lot. So we actually put filler words in because if there is a silence, typically the other person will immediately start talking. So we almost have to add in filler words to keep our place to let the other person know we are not done speaking. And I was like.
Oh my god, we're just trying to take up space.
We're just trying to take up space.
Why am I like getting like emotional like right now?
And the girl that made the like initial video was like, I would never hate on another woman for using filler words or like, or having like a valley accent because it is most common in women. And so why would I hate on another woman for being a woman?
I also love a woman who speaks slow like this. I'm like, take, waste a man's time. Waste a man's time and actually never get to the thought, never fully get to the thought. Wow, now I think of everything differently.
What were we saying though before?
We literally just started the pod and we're already, we never had a direction, I actually think. I mean, we're talking about the trailer. If you approve, a lot of the gigglers approve, but they have to wait for you to cosign before they jump on board.
Well, it's funny because I had a lot of gigglers in my DMs, seeing if they could figure out what exact second that I said, wow, your hair looks so good like that.
But you know what happened? You saw the wide trailer that's on YouTube. This was cut down, so you actually couldn't see the full hair. Um, so anyway, also Lenore is visiting right now because.
So the place is spotless.
You know, like you clean before like a hookup comes over. That's nothing like the way I clean before my mother comes over. I do like to leave her some things because she likes to have a hobby and she really likes to do the dishes. That's like her thing. So I let her have fun, but like Dez and I were cleaning like we've never cleaned before. We were so scared.
Wait, really?
Yeah, we woke up early.
Oh, that's serious.
We woke up early and I was like, come on, we gotta go. And we were like, I mean, this is what normal people do like once a week, but.
Do you know that I don't think I've ever seen you clean? Like, like, I don't think I've seen.
Cause I'm a feminist. Cause I'm a feminist.
Wait, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you take like a spray bottle and
and spray something.
And you just say cleaning takes initiative. And when you grow up in Italian house household where like the women take over, I'm never used to taking that initiative. You have to just, even if you're at someone's house and I realize like you just have to start cleaning. And everyone like respects it, but I see it as like invasive. I'm like, I'm not gonna touch your table.
Like I wouldn't walk into someone's home and open up their refrigerator. So why would I open up their cleaning supply closet?
Hundred percent. I do think too, there's something about dinner. I always hated how like when we were done eating, all the women got up and took everyone's plates. And you call me lazy, but I was like, no, the men can take my plate. Why is the, why are the women doing this? They already cooked it all.
What happens at your family holidays now? Who's cleaning?
Okay. Well, my Nana and Papa are perfect and adorable. My Nana cooks and she takes the plates, but then Papa loves cleaning. Like Papa is handles all the dishes and that's how my mom and dad are too. I just never like when all the men are sitting down and the women are at work. I'm like, what is this?
Did you have chores as a child?
Well, this is also, this is kind of the problem is that I had a full-time job. I was just playing tennis.
So it actually inhibited my chores where like.
And there we go.
Dez doesn't let me.
And that's.
The problem.
And we've just figured it out.
Well, yeah, cause I'm not good at it. So I don't want to embarrass myself in front of other people by being like, that's how you put the dishes in the dishwasher. I actually tried to do the dishes and Dez was like, never again. Like this is chaos. He's like, I'm not, that's not where you put everything.
How, how bad can you mess up loading a dishwasher?
I guess some people like it more organized where I'm like, if there's an opening, it's like Tetris. You just figure it out.
Well. Cups are on the top, plates are on the bottom.
Yes. However, sometimes you don't have a cup or a plate. You have like a weird shaped bowl and I, I try to just shove it.
But look, we all have our, our
We all have our quirks. We all have our things.
But I, the truth is after school, I go to tennis practice. I get home at 8:00 PM. I have to do my homework. And I think my parents were like, the girl has enough going on. She can't do it. She's tired. I played paddle this morning.
How was that?
Well, I want everyone to know it's different than pickleball. I'm not like on the dark side. You don't have to like call the police. I'm not playing pickleball.
Hannah actually texted me and said, can we push the pod one hour because I'm playing paddle? And I, and you know me, I don't know sports or anything, but I've known I've heard her talk about it before. And I said, wait, just checking in because one time you did say, don't ever let me play paddle or I will get arrested. And she takes it back and goes, nope, that was pickleball. And I said, great.
Yes, yes. Also, sorry, I like can't take you seriously because you dress like me right now and I've lost respect for you. I'm like, what is she talking about?
Like you.
Wait, one day we should do a pod and I'll be you and you be me.
And we just talk the whole time, like what we think that I would say.
I would just immediately start crying about my dead grandpa.
No, I actually had a dream about him the other week and it's like, why are you up in my dreams?
I had a dream the other week and my mom told me like gossip in the dream, like she was And I had, and I woke up and I went to my Instagram because I was like, is this how I get messages now? Like my mom sends them to me in a dream. And I woke up and I had to like check my Instagram for something to see if it was like true and real, but it wasn't. But I sat in it for a little because I was like
Can be witchin'.
Yeah, because I was like, no, I had a dream that my mom came and whispered something in my ear. And so, and right when I woke up, I was like, my mom just told me something. And that's really scary.
But anyway, I do, I do feel like I wanna play sports, I wanna be athletic, I wanna sweat. I'm not done with my paddle stories, but I woke up to play at nine AM.
Which is early for me. And then it was so hot and I was so tired after it, I was like, I need to cancel all my plans, like.
Hold on, wait, just like to take it back for a minute. What is the difference between paddle and pickleball?
So paddle's European, which makes it cool.
Okay.
Like people in Spain and then South America play it, it's cultured, it's, it's way more advanced than pickleball.
Got it.
Um, pickleball is like, is with a fricking.
For kids.
What is it, what is, it's with a wiffle ball, which is so funny, imagine someone being like, wiffle ball is now a sport. And like all these people are just like, do you remember wiffle ball as a kid?
Yeah, I thought it was stupid.
Yeah, it's for the unathletic baseball players.
So anyway, but look, if you're playing pickle, I totally support you. It's just as a tennis player, we get like hate. Even in the community and like I could only handle so much.
Within the industry and we can't have that.
Within the industry. I love getting you involved.
How many industries can we get in trouble with?
My favorite is gossiping to Paige about sports drama and stand-up comedy drama. Cause like you have no, I was gonna say gun in the fight, that's not what they say.
I have no skin in the game.
No skin in the game, thank you.
You should hear me when I tell other people tennis gossip, cause I'm like, and that's what I heard from my friend.
And they're like, do you know any of these people? I'm like, no, and that's what makes it so good.
Like we'll be, we're in tour, we were like running out of things to talk about. And I would like see something on my Instagram of people you definitely didn't know. And I go, these people are getting divorced, do you wanna know why?
And then to make her interested, you have to start from the beginning. Like I'm like, she was born. In a small town. And you were locked in.
Oh, God, yeah.
You're locked in. But anyway, how are you?
I'm good. How are you? I, um.
Oh.
Crashed a bachelorette.
I was gonna, I was gonna say, girl's girl of the week. First ever girl's girl of the week. Wait, how did it end up on two ma? Like, what is going on?
Wait, the first ever girl's girl of the week is hilarious.
You are, I'm so proud of you. You won it.
Thank you so much. I wasn't even campaigning.
I'm a stickler with it. You don't just get girl's girl of the week.
Well, because Daphne launched bridal support. So like, if you're going out of bachelorette.
Bridal support is so funny.
Bridal help.
Email bridal support at daphne the label dot com. So you can like bulk order monogram things. It's just like easier for if you're the maid of honor or whatever. So we get a lot of emails. And let me tell you something, the gigglers are animated, like they're giving you the plot. They're giving you the full story. They're giving you why they've chosen cloud over white stripe because it's just like not aesthetically pleasing and the background, you know, like they, they tell you.
Cause they also think you might be judging them.
They're like, hey, I know that yellow seems like a weird choice. I swear it goes with the like sunflowers that I, that just trust us.
And they're like, let me send you my Pinterest because I feel like I could break it down more for you. No, so I do think sometimes they're like, well, what if she's reading this email? Which sometimes I am. So that's how we found this girl. We had a maid of honor email in and say like, she was planning a bachelorette and it was gonna be in New York City. So I was like, oh, this is a perfect bachelorette to crash because I'm right here. Come to find out, so we're like talking to the maid of honor. We're like, what if like Paige surprised the bride? The maid of honor adds another girl to the email and she goes, actually, she knows more about the logistics.
This girl emails and goes, okay, so that was actually the bride and she's so type A that she was pretending to be me and asking for the order and um now she's looped me in and we're and sorry about that.
Iconic.
Iconic. So from that moment, I was like iconic. Like I love a type A girl that's like, actually, I'll just do it myself.
Wait, pretending to be your own assistant is like not talked about enough and needs to be done as women in STEM. To be like, hey, Hannah's waiting for the follow up.
I actually have talked to a couple of people who have made second emails, pretended to be their own assistant and like always made themselves a man. Because like people respond better. So anyway, so we're like, let's surprise both of them because now the surprise is like totally ruined. So we email back and we're like, sorry, like Paige's schedule, like it's just not going to allow it, but we would love to make you a reservation for Friday night or for Thursday night when you guys arrive for your like welcome drinks, basically like we'll make the reservation, we'll set the time on us.
So Daphne also will plan your bachelorette.
So Daphne literally will plan your bachelorette. So we had the bride and the maid of honor have no idea. So I had a couple of people from Daphne already there and I'm in the basement.
It's giving punked.
Literally. And like, Jack Shepard is gonna come out and be the waiter.
You're just in a basement with a headset and you're like, the eagle has landed.
So they get there, the my Daphne um employees give them like a bunch of matching shirts and matching sets and everything that they wanted. And then they went and sat down and were like, okay, like have have so much fun, like sorry Paige couldn't come, whatever. Then like two minutes later, I brought over like champagne to the table.
It was so fun and just like uh like easy quirky, fun, cute thing. Like it was a great like kickoff of her bachelorette weekend. Like I just felt like it was such an adorable moment.
I also imagine you doing things. Like without me and I'm like, how, because normally, normally I'm like,
How'd she get out of the house?
If we were doing it, I would have jumped and you'd been rolling your eyes in the back, but like you surprising someone on your own, I'm like, that's, but she's so like, coof. You actually,
Yeah, but she's never spoken to someone else.
She's never really exclaimed before, but you, I saw the video, you come in your little kitten heels and you're just like, hi.
Well, you want to know what's so funny?
I would scare the shit out of them. I'd be like, bah!
During the whole thing, I didn't know what to do with my hands.
I know, that's why, I know, I was like, she's so cute.
I kept like grabbing them because I was like, hey, I'm just like a small, small girl.
No, Paige is so shy. You guys don't understand, she's so shy. So then when you do difficult things like that, I'm always like, oh my God, look at her navigating the world in her kitten heel. And but also like surprising someone is, it's tough because you're like, what if they don't respond the way you want it? And then once you're there, I'm like, what do we talk about? Like, so how are you?
No, I was very, I was nervous to surprise them, but I, I was nervous that to surprise them because I thought they like knew. And I was like, I didn't want them to be like, oh yeah, obviously like here she is.
Hey, girl, woo, got us.
So I got like a little nervous, but they were so sweet and it sucks that they have like a horrible weather weekend, but.
Well, at least they're in the city doing like fun indoor things.
They sent me like the PowerPoint for the whole wedding weekend. So I knew like what the vibe was for all the outfits and like, there's nothing I love more than a PowerPoint that a girl makes that has nothing to do with her job. And like, because they're so helpful and resourceful, like who, the girl that made this PowerPoint, like, she was like, think skirts, shorts, pants, skirt. Like, I'm like so close.
Like she gave a vibe of like each night of what she should, you guys should wear. And I'm like, so everything is acceptable and a go.
That reminds me of us in one of our, our important Zooms, which is just, that should be a show in itself. Because Paige and I were like just listening to people talk, but I felt like we should say anything and they were like, are you ready? Um, we have a presentation and I just go, we love PowerPoints.
And they're like, uh, okay. And we're sitting there and at the end they go, um, Paige, do you have any questions? And she goes, I'm just happy there wasn't a quiz at the end of that. I thought there was gonna be a quiz. And then we got off the call.
Because someone had to crack a joke.
No.
I literally almost interrupted and was like, what in the eighth grade science class? Because I've almost fallen asleep seven times.
The whole point of a PowerPoint is you get to press it and surprise people with a funny photo.
I texted Hannah while we were doing it because I had literally in the moment come up with the most genius thing I've ever come up with. I could not stop yawning. So all I kept doing was rubbing my nose. Because you couldn't see that I was yawning. I was like, I'm a genius.
Every now and then I screenshot Paige in these Zooms. And by the way, it's not with like three people. There's like 20 people. And, but I'm watching her. Believe me, I'm, I'm keeping an eye on her.
I always watch.
I'm watching you the whole time. This, she can't help.
Oh, well, wait for what I'm gonna say about you.
Okay, she goes, come for me. No, but like I screenshot and send it to the group chat. Just so Grace knows how you're representing us in a public. Well, sometimes she pulls out her skincare, which like at that point, I'm just like, that's womanism.
That's only with people like I, that I know, you know?
Sometimes like, you, like, I feel like I pretend smile in this life way more than you, which like I'm jealous of. I wish I could have your confidence. I'm fake smiling 24/7. I'm like,
Paige is just sitting there like.
Well, you've made yourself a clown for the people. I didn't tell you to do that. So like people expect, people interact with you and they're always laughing. So they expect you to also be in a jovial mood.
It's so hard being a light in this dark world.
Yeah. And I've given, I'm, I'm this close to a panic attack. So don't push me. And so they know.
So what do you have to say about me?
Okay, Miss Performative. Hannah's in the Zoom doing performative chin grabs. Like she's con- Like she's contemplating a goddamn thing. She also.
I kept switching my chin position.
I go, what are you Colonel Mustard in the library with a revolver? Like you're trying to look.
Also, it's so crazy. I think everyone's watching me.
Um, so.
I like think people are watching me and I have to show them that they're doing well.
Wait, also, do you know what I'm doing? I'm hiding my double chin.
Okay, the other thing that I think you do that literally could make me burst out laughing in any moment that I actually have to look away sometimes is you nod and it sounds, it sounds innocent enough, but she does it in a like, hey, that's a really good point. Never thought of that. And I'm like, they didn't even say anything.
Okay, I'm an active listener. I'm, look, I'm an empath and when someone's speaking and no one's reacting. See, I know, you know how you feel for inanimate objects? That's how I feel for real people and no, like when they're talking and no one's reacting, I'm like, come on, someone has to give them a little positivity. So I, here's, but you know, that's why I don't like social situations because by the end, I've, I should win an Oscar.
Well, I had, I have a team meeting every two weeks and last week I said, guys, what are we doing here? This is an off camera zoom. I get out of my face. Like, I don't.
Were you there for our last off camera zoom?
Yeah, I'm the one that started it.
And guess who didn't finish it?
Who? You?
Yeah, I showed up and didn't go off camera.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was the first one on with one other girl and I said, hey, you're either with me or you're against me. Turn your camera off. And she goes, I'm with you. Absolutely. Everybody else joins. They're go, oh, it's a no camera zoom. I go, excellent.
Two minutes late.
Hannah shows up, two minutes late, didn't have to do the intros and goes, I'm just gonna be camera on. I said, she's always a bomb.
Well, I came out on camera and I just was like, wait, I love this attention. And then everyone was talking. I was nodding for them. But the truth is if I'm off camera, I can't trust myself. If I'm off camera, I'm playing tennis. Like if I'm off camera, I'm petting my cat. I'm not listening to anyone. But if I'm on camera, I have to look at least like I care and then you care more. Wait, I love how we just did. 20 minutes about Zoom calls, but I feel like it's relatable.
No, that but that's like really pertinent to my everyday life, so.
Yeah, like we use legal dargan in everyday life.
Yeah, so.
I love a little Zoom joke in the beginning and then I could calm down once I get the laugh.
Yeah, my quiz joke was pretty good on that Zoom.
That was really fucking funny. I always laugh a little too hard and everyone's like, okay.
You guys know each other.
Okay, so I've been having a full woman in STEM moment lately because I got some new plants. You know, planting, watering, sunlight, fertilizer, all of that. It's giving science experiment, but in the actual best way. And there's nothing more rewarding than watching something you planted grow. I've been getting my plants from Fast Growing Trees. They're the largest online nursery in the country and they have literally every plant you could even think of. From trees and shrubs for your yard to fruit trees, cute houseplants and more. And the best part is Fast Growing Trees actually makes it impossible to fail. They have real live plant experts to talk to you if you have questions. And every plant is backed by their Alive and Thrive Guarantee.
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Getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with alleys from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit
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So summer's upon us, which is crazy, but I was like looking at bathing suits and I love cheap bathing suits.
But I don't know, because I'm not like doing a photo shoot in them. Like I'm just trying to be in the pool or the beach.
You're playing games.
I'm playing, yes, yes. Or I'm sprinting, I'm swimming, I'm racing, I'm doing, I'm a mermaid.
You're doing activities.
So.
It's impossible to lay out with you.
Yeah, you're not.
You have to be actively engaged. The only time you can really lay out is if we're discussing something that we've discussed eight million times, but there's one new fact and we're beating that fact, beating that fact with a dead horse. Then you can lay and tan because you're actively doing something, but if it's like the same old shit, you're like, should I like hit a tennis ball and we'll talk about this?
Well, the good thing about our friendship is it's eight years of drama. We can pull from so much.
The archivals are.
The archive is fucking good. And we rotate, but um, I got like some TikTok advertisement for a bikini that looked beautiful. I clicked it. A hundred and ninety-five dollars for not the full bikini, for the bottoms.
What?
Yeah, I mean, it's one of these like nice ones, but like, what is, it's underwear. What is in this bikini that's a hundred and ninety-five dollars and it's separate? So that's a four hundred dollar bikini? Make it make, as, okay, as a designer, as a fashion mogul, make it make sense to me. How do they get to those numbers?
It's hard to justify because it's such a small piece of clothing.
And what is it made out of that makes, like, isn't it just like?
I would assume, I would assume it's probably mostly spandex.
Is that like really pricey?
No, but like, I don't know what swim material. I don't know how hard it is to make swim because I don't even know what that's like made of.
I don't know. I think it's like a real rip. It's a real rip and someone.
What were you shopping on? Do you remember what website? Or like, do you remember like?
It was like a brand, like it was like a swim brand or it was like a clothing brand that had swim, but it was like, it was nice. Like it had like two hundred dollar dresses.
Bathing suits are tough. Here's the thing that is hard to justify spending so much on bathing suits is because a lot of the time. Unless it's like a very good quality bathing suit, I would say a lot of the time after two summers, it's kind of like dingy and gross and you have to get a new one anyway.
Yeah, it goes through it.
Yeah, you go through them faster than other articles of clothing.
You know what makes me mad? It's cuz it feels like they're pulling something over our eyes. Where that I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with one weird colored bottom?
You hate getting duped.
Put it in a set. Put it, it's like being like, hey, this earring is two hundred dollars. This one earring, like obviously I need to buy the other earring.
Wait, one time I ordered earrings and it was, what was the brand? It was like a, it was like a brand that was, they had a store in the West Village, I think it was like super big at the time. Something like, it was like a woman's name, something like Tasha or like, I forget, whatever. And I'm like, and everyone's getting these like little mini dainty earrings and I'm like, I have to. So I go online and I like see the earrings that I want and I'm like, great, I'm gonna get this. It was like one ninety-five. I was like, that's insane, but like whatever. I get it, it comes in the mail, it's just one. And I'm like.
Is this a fucking joke to you?
I'm like, clearly someone like messed up, like the other earring and you like get on customer service and they're like, no, we send them, we sell them individual, like they thought I was stupid.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I didn't realize it was like because all, every girl was doing like multiple piercings. So they just send it like one, but I'm like, it's a, it's a pair. I have two ears.
And meanwhile, men have three in one shampoo. But we're paying for, for one bikini bottom? How are we gonna take over the patriarchy when like we're out a month's rent for half a bikini?
You know what's something that would send me into a coma now that I would have like died for in high school is men and earrings.
I never went that gay.
Someone say I've gone gay.
No, you have. You have. And you have.
And they were good friends.
This is my question. Was it a little mini hoop? Was it a dangle?
A stud.
Which was a Gen Z or just a stud?
Stud.
Okay, there was a time where guys with one stud, he was naughty. You're like, that's a bad boy.
One stud, no, I liked double. I liked, I liked cubic zirconium. All the way around.
You would have loved the Staten Island guys. Like, you would have lost your mind at the Staten Island Mall in 2006. You would have been like dry humping at a Hot Topic.
Well, you know what's funny is like, remember when Facebook came out and we had like, we're just like in the, kind of in the beginning of high school that like, we could have it? And did you ever like happen upon like your friends, cousins, boyfriend, sister who like lives in a different state? Like, I remember the first time I ever saw like a New Jersey prom, like on Facebook.
You were like.
And just being like.
Heaven is real.
Wait a minute. Like, I don't know what's going on in my body, but I like these guys.
Well, it's funny because I heard that you're from Albany and I was like, oh, I didn't know they had Italians that like up north. I thought they all were in Brooklyn and New Jersey. I didn't know they made them in the cold like that.
Well, because my family didn't come through Ellis Island.
Do you think you're better than us?
How did they get here then?
My like great grandpa came over illegally as like a stowaway, but through like a port in Boston. And he had like a cousin in Albany. So that's how he ended up like.
There's always a cousin.
Yeah, it was like wherever you could get a job. And so we didn't have anyone in New York City yet. So no one.
Lived there.
Look at you with the historical facts.
I mean, there's definitely like, there was definitely like a part of Albany that was all Italian at some point. No, I didn't like go to high, I didn't have like high school girlfriends that were Italian in the way I was Italian. Like, maybe they were a little Italian, but they didn't either like celebrate the way I did on holidays. And like their mom certainly didn't yell at them the way my mom did. So I'm like, she doesn't love you.
I'm like, did you just tell your mom to shut up? That's crazy.
No, I love the Jersey vibe and I also love, yeah, I don't know what age that changed. That I was like, I would never date someone with an, with two earrings, but now I'm like, that's so terrifying.
Although the thought of like shit, being able to share earrings is nice.
Everything I say, it's just like, Paige, you're a lesbian and you should come out. I'm like, but you could have the same wardrobe and that would be convenient. Cause I like said something and some girl made a TikTok and she was like, I literally said this right before I came out.
Well, Paige and I were famously on the phone and I said to her, I feel like every friend group has a in the closet lesbian. And Paige said, not in my friend group. And I said, that's how you know. That you're the one.
Guys, you think, you think I don't want this? I want this. My life would be so much easier.
Yeah, I could see like, you know that one random like really girl girl dated Miley Cyrus? Like, if you did meet the right girl, you'd have like the happiest life, but I don't know if that's for this lifetime. I just know the right girl could sweep you off your feet.
Here's the only reason, and dare I jump in on this convo. The only reason I say that I'm not is because from the moment I was little and I saw a boy, like I knew I loved boys. I genuinely think that's why my mom made me go to an all-girls high school because she knew I loved boys.
Yeah. I also feel like if I came out, people would be like, boo, boring. It's like so much more exciting for you to come out.
It would be so exciting.
Cause I'm lesbian passing. I identify as straight, but I, I'm lesbian passing. And that's why like I'm so close to the community and not all gay guys like me. Even though I,
cause they get lesbian vibes from me. But no, I had, there's a certain gay guy that is my heart and my soul.
Yeah. You know, I've been hearing more and more people talking about gays, gays versus like girls gays.
Really?
Well, there was like a lot of discourse on TikTok, I feel like about how there was a guy, did you see the guy with the whole solid core thing?
Okay, so that that song I didn't, we talked about it like in the very beginning.
Is it still going?
Hannah, it's still going on. And I don't know all the details. If you want to look it up, I think it was in like Darien, Connecticut, I want to say.
Yeah, it's this guy from Connecticut who who's like putting Solid Core on blast all the time.
But it was this gay man who would go to Solid Core and he would go to like the earliest class every day and something happened. I think he like was recording the instructor and she might have been like late one day or something.
And they were like, please don't like record the instructors, like, don't put this on the internet, whatever. And he was like, totally like, but like she was late. And then something else happened and he got in trouble for something else. And they emailed him and they were like, you can't do this. And he was like, totally like, so sorry about it. And then something else happened that like, he was like, I didn't do this. So now he's almost at like three strikes.
The last thing he did, I guess, was he's in the parking lot before the class even starts early in the morning. Like, I think he goes to like the 6 a.m. So say they're in the parking lot at like 5:45.
Also, that is when you should be in REM sleep. Nothing good happens before 7 a.m. or after 1 a.m.
Nothing good ever happens before 7 a.m. And I guess he was like yelling the instructor's name and I don't, and I think the instructor kind of got a little like, wait, like, are you like really mad at me? Like, again, like, it is a man at the end of the day. And so like all these girls were making TikToks about like certain gay men that have been like really mean to them, whether it be like in their friend group or like in a work setting or something. And I'm like, yeah, it's happened to me a couple of times and it's very jarring because it's like, oh, but we get each other.
You're like, you're supposed to be on my side. Can I talk to you for a second?
There are some men, doesn't matter what sexuality they are, that
are misogynistic. There's women who are misogynistic. So just keep an eye out in these streets.
Obviously, gay men can relate to us on so many things. Like, I had this one friend who she was like, she was saying how one of her gay guy friends like said something about her being fat while she was pregnant. And she was like, and it just like, really?
I'm like, who was this gay?
Let me meet him. But she was saying like it would like hurt her feelings. She's like, I'm so hormonal and he kept saying like, you have to be pregnant with twins. And she was like, and I'm not pregnant with twins.
You're crying because that's going to be you.
I'm going to cry so much. I already know. It's going to be so hard for me. I'm going to be in pain all day. All I think about is my short torso and that's because of you. I was never scared of that before.
Paige, not to be too positive, but remember how much you loved raising your eggs and the hormones because you finally felt.
Alive.
I felt love. I felt true. No. I felt real feelings. Hitting it. I felt real feelings during that and that was scary.
You were a girl's girl.
A girl's girl. Anyway, what were we saying? Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary.
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Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats, I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.
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I've also had gay men fight for me like I've never been fought for. I had actually a beautiful moment with a gay gler where I was in LA at a coffee shop.
Scared. And there was one beautiful man just standing there. And I was like, wow, he thinks I'm so good looking. And then he came up to me. And he was like, I just have to let you know, I love your comedy because on Netflix, there's not a lot of like gay male representation. So, like your feminine comedy is like the closest I can relate to because I don't relate to other comics. And he was like, and through you, I've been introduced to other like queer comics and artists. And like, thank you for being a voice like that we needed. And I was like, so am Lady Gaga.
If there's one gay man in my audience, I go, it's really hard being Lady Gaga.
And being the voice of a community.
Hannah, you in a meat dress, I feel like is... You should do that one year for Halloween.
But also, like, being straight is so boring. All I want to be is an ally to more interesting people.
It's all I want in this world.
Well, you want to know why being straight is annoying? Because it's so predictable. You got married, you had kids, and then you cheated. Yeah, we saw that coming. You know, it's just like, our lives are so predictable. Where the gays, they go out, they're doing things with different people. They're like, they're all over the place.
Also, they're naturally traumatized because they were told by society that, like, what they do isn't the norm. So they're naturally been through shit that made them grow, which makes them hilarious. So, anyway, just reminding all the gagglers how much we love you and any man that's in the closet listening right now.
Wait, what are you doing for the holiday weekend? Do you have any plans?
Oh, Lenore's visiting. And she's getting a mini petty right now, and she watched me play paddle. And we might take... Well, she loves a mental health walk. Lenore loves it, and she goes fast. She goes fast. Also, we're going to Vegas for the American Music Awards.
Oh, fun!
Because you had a wedding.
Yes, I do. I have a wedding in the middle of the week.
I do have to say, I did find out I do have one wedding, because it seems kind of depressing me being like, I have no weddings. And then I felt like everyone was like, talking about me like, oh, she doesn't have any friends. There's a wedding that doesn't tell me about, that I am invited to.
So not your friend, God.
Sorry, all my friends are sluts. Sorry, they're all business sluts who don't want paperwork involved.
Sorry, my friends have rejected the patriarchy.
Sorry, my friends haven't settled.
Yes.
Sorry, I'm the only friend who's got paperwork involved. Did you see Sports Illustrated? They were like, um, Alex Earl, can you ask Hannah some questions about dating? And I was like, oh my, like, what am I gonna say to Alex Earl about dating? I'm like, ask Alex Earl. Like, I've literally haven't sent a, like, a good flirty text in a minute. Even though back in my day.
But you still have it in you.
I have it in me, and I do, um, moonlight for a lot of relationships. But like, I haven't put myself out there, obviously, but she was asking me questions about dating. And then at the end, I was like, I'm fucking married. I don't have to, I don't have to be defensive about that. I'm married. So I, you have to listen to what I say anyway. Okay, one of the questions was funny. They were like, do you wait to text back or not? And I think I actually had kind of a good answer, cuz I feel like waiting to text back, yeah, do it a little bit, but it becomes too exhausting to be like, did I hit the hour mark? I think you text back immediately with typos. So he's like, she like, she's busy, but also like, she clearly doesn't give a fuck.
She responded immediately and spelled everything wrong. Like, she never, she didn't send this to all her friends. And I think there's something confident about that, and you get the conversation going.
That was a great answer.
I hate when you're in these like, four hour text things with guys where I'm like, I don't even know anything about him cuz we've only, we're playing this like, game. I'm like, we're all on our phones.
Everyone, all the time.
Everyone. But I said I wouldn't double text.
I mean, I've definitely done it.
I've done it, like, if it's like, we're texting during the day and then like, I'm out. But I'm not like, continuing a conversation.
No, like, I'm not asking the next question. Like, if a, like, if a natural question is to follow, like, then I'll say it. But if the conversation has come to a halt, I'm not reigniting it with a question.
Or, like, if I said something really dud, like, if I just said okay to something, then you can continue it as just like, being nice. Also, if he's your soulmate, you could literally send him a paragraph about how you wanna have his babies, and he'll be like, cool, same.
Yeah, you can never act too crazy for the right guy, ever. Me and Hannah are very much in the true belief of traumatize them early, see what they can handle. See how strong they are.
And then you can weed it out really quickly.
Speaking of, woman of some of the week.
Wait, before we get to women of the week.
Sorry, I got ahead of myself.
I've had so many girls messaging me, cosmetologists who have learned the art of the gray hair, honey. And a lot of them said, it's a myth, that it's not that if you pluck one out, five will grow in its place. It's that the belief that is that you are damaging, damaging the follicle, okay? And that that.
Causes it to grow back a little weird?
No, I forgot what it's.
That you've just lost melanin, that like it's growing. Like it's not gonna grow five more back, but like that follicle, it's gonna grow gray because you've lost melanin.
But it was already gray.
Yeah, my girls were like, pluck away.
Okay, so it's funny, whenever we say we're confused about anything, we get tons of messages from gigglers. And I was telling Dez, I'm like, oh my god, we get so many messages from like doctors, he's like, who's messaged you? I'm like, people are like, hey, I'm a surgeon at NYU Langone, I was just listening to Giggly Squad. But I did get one message that threw me. This girl said that she's our women instead of the week. She is a twin, and she said, they did their own study. On the ground, boots on the ground journalism, and said that she plucked her grays and her twin didn't. And she has more grays. So that threw me, that threw me. Threw me off, but I'm still plucking, what do you, because what are you doing if you're not plucking?
Well, a lot of girls were just giving like different root sprays that they use.
Or, I just wanna go full gray with thick tortoiseshell glasses and a cape and just like walk around like talk a shit about everything.
Okay, but not like our thirties.
No, more like.
Like our sixties.
But our woman of some of the week runner up is Shakira.
Do you know what Shakira did?
Wait, do you want to tell them?
So a couple of years ago, I don't know if you guys remember, but Shakira was accused of tax fraud in Spain. And she literally proved the court wrong and was like, give me back my my 10 million dollars, I think. Is like they seized or something or froze.
I actually didn't know about this part.
And so she like proved that she didn't commit tax fraud. And they were like, okay, yeah, you're right. We're wrong.
Not to be controversial, but.
Sounds like an inside job. Sounds something, something fishy was going on.
Can girls commit tax fraud?
I don't think we should pay full, we should pay 70% tax.
If women were in charge of politics, that would be the first, would there be no pink tax? Like, why are we getting taxed the most when we make the least?
It kind of is crazy that feminine products are taxed.
No woman would have thought of that.
Some old man, but um, I'll add that to why she's woman of some of the week. But my reasoning was so her ex who cheated on her is like a soccer player or football. And she's the face of the World Cup.
So iconic. So iconic. So whatever your ex is doing, find a way to be the face of it. It's not that hard. Just like put your mind to it for a couple of years.
It's honestly, it's not that hard.
Imagine everywhere he goes, it's just her face and her songs. And people are going to the game just to see her.
Hell, yeah.
So respect to that, because you know that her team was probably like, you could do this. You don't have to. You're ready. An icon. You don't need to work this summer. And she's like, yeah, I do.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, I do. Clear my plans. I definitely do. Um, and the documentary I recommend everyone watch is the Kylie Minogue documentary.
What's that on?
It's on Netflix. It's three episodes. I don't think they they talked about how good her style was. And one thing I'm very jealous of Kylie Minogue for, she's first of all.
I think it's Mino.
I I'm gonna have to say Mino to that.
I hate my, no, I hate myself. I think it's Minogue.
It's not Minogu either.
No, I knew that. And it's not Montague.
No, that's a whole different.
Family.
Whole different word. Yeah. It's just a different word. But you can say Minogue to bring it back to the beginning. Like if that's what your heart is, is singing.
We should double check on it.
So the thing with Kylie Minogue, do you know that she's, I think Kylie Minogue, she started in Australia, that's where she was born. On a soap opera. That blew up. Like, everyone was obsessed with it. It spread to the UK, it spread to Ireland. And then she decided she wanted to do some singing and everyone was like, you can't be a singer, you're an actor. And she was like, I'm nineteen years old. I love, I love music. I've always loved music. And it just reminded me how much like people want to put people in boxes.
Cause I hate being put in a box. Like the second I'm in a box, I try to like do the other thing.
Will you try and break the box?
Yes. And I do think people can't comprehend that just because you started somewhere, that's not where you wanted to end. And a lot of the time when you do something that's not even what you planned and then they put a fucking stamp on your forehead and they're like, this is who you are now. So she was like, yeah, I was auditioning for gigs to make money, but like I always wanted to be a singer. Like I actually never wanted to be a soap opera actress. And she's so fucking beautiful and, and she hasn't gotten work done, which makes her like so, like you can't look away because she's unique looking. And what I'm so jol서 for about, this bitch can pull off every hair color. And every hair length. From a shaved head, bright blonde, blue, black.
How old is she?
She's now fifty-seven and she's on like a full world tour. Her career was insane and I love a music documentary. I just like eat that shit up.
You love a music documentary? Do you know, I haven't watched one music documentary that you've told me to watch.
Why, why do you do this to me?
Because I feel like you've watched it. So you've informed us enough for the both of us. So if we ever run into this person someday, you'll got, you literally have us covered.
I'll be like, she thought your name was Minogue.
Embarrassing.
I think it might be.
Are you watching anything?
Am I watching anything? No, honestly, TV has sucked recently, I feel like.
Yeah, what the hellie?
I don't know, the streaming platforms, guys. Did you clock out? Like, what's going on? There's no shows. Everything is, like, I know that we are feminists because we are alive, but every show feels so geared toward men. That I'm like, uh, like, I don't care about, like, this drug deal gone wrong. One thing I wanted to say about your special is, like, the Utah girls must have been like, um, who did Hannah's hair? It was giving full Mormon wife, but like, she doesn't wear her undergarments, like naughty.
Jesse from Mormon Wives commented.
I'm sure she did, what'd she say?
She was like, "I can't wait to watch," and she definitely was like, "That's my sister."
No, I was like, "Where is Hannah's long blue dress and seven kids?" Because you were giving Mormon, that hair was giving Jay-Z styles.
Could you hand in page, try new things Mormon?
Just one day.
Or just like any cult.
You're like, "I think she's slipping, I think she's slipping."
It's really hard to be in a cult if you have stomach problems like I do because it's like, communit bathroom, and you can't get up during the group, like, chanting. Because I get mad at you, so I'm like, I'm like, kind of past the cult stuff.
I just also like, need to be alone for a certain amount of hours a day, and so like, don't tell me what to do, because I'll have to like, kill you.
So, like, no, I'm not in your cult. Anyhow, I hope everyone has a lovely holiday weekend.
For giggling with us, have a great weekend, we love you so much. Bye!
Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated