Giggly Squad
Hosted by Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Original podcast
Paige is exploring empathy and Hannah reveals her guilty pleasures. subscribe to our newsletter
13,451 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.
Like so many people have my location.
And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.
And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.
Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?
Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.
And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.
And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.
Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...
Please, nobody speak to me.
Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising. And you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.
And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.
And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.
Which truly women deserve.
We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.
Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.
And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.
And we spend enough of our lives being on.
Exactly.
We don't need to be on in the car.
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Sup, Gigglers? Jerry, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Okay, you on cocaine would actually be the best night of my life.
We'll do a head and page try new things.
The business ideas alone that you would come up with?
If I did do cocaine.
Yeah.
And came up with 100 business ideas. And one of the business ideas was good and you-
Worth it.
Absolutely worth it.
Absolutely worth it. By the way.
Oh my god, I tried a new coffee place.
And I walk, no, it's fine. I love a new coffee place. It's fine.
You're being a tourist in your own city.
Yes. And the barista was like performing. And I'm like on my phone and I, you know, when you hear.
Baristas are the flight attendants of the land.
Yes. They either, oh my god. Oh my god, that was too.
They are the flight attendants of earth. They literally, they have so much power in such a small area.
And like their mood dictates everyone's mood. And it's so true. You know, a flight attendant comes in, you're like, oh, we're, it's jokes. We're having jokes.
She's happy. She's well rested.
And then there's the ones that you're like, I'm scared of her. I'm messing up. She's mad at me.
She's on overtime and she's livid.
So this barista, I hear him like, obviously, he's like a hilarious gay. And so he's running the room. And this is early, so I'm like not, I haven't turned on my personality yet.
We're charging. And he, I hear him exclaim, like the word exclaim, like exclaimed.
You know exactly what I mean.
Exactly what you're talking about. I've never in my thirty-three years on earth has, have ever heard someone say that. I've only read it in a book.
I've only read it in a book. I saw it for the first time in person. He exclaimed, he went,
he makes his, so I'm.
Aghast.
Aghast and at attention. The girl in front, he goes, "Ice latte with oat milk? Never have I ever." So he's like making fun of her. And I realized like, oh, we're in a bit.
We're in a bit. And she's just like froze, which like I would be in my twenties for sure. So she, he's, and she's like, yeah, with ice. And he's like, "An iced one? Never heard of her." And he's like, you can tell.
Wait, the girl couldn't go along with the bit?
She was just kind of like, just please give me my coffee.
She's like, I don't have time for this right now. It's in New York City. It's always the days that you're like, I don't have time.
I'm overstimulated.
When someone's doing something so insane and to like explain it to anyone, anywhere else in the country. They'd be like, oh my god, go to the police.
And by the way, this place is full of people working and no one's looked up from their computer. Like, they're just like, it's another day. I don't know if he does this all the time. I'm new to this establishment. So I don't know if they're like, oh, just Gary, being Gary. So he's going nuts. And then I, for a second, I'm like, there's two ways to go about this. I can show up and just kind of take it and leave. I'm like, or I'm like, Hannah, you're a fucking stand-up comedian. You stand up to this man. You join in. So I go, fuck it. And it's my turn. I go, you're not gonna believe what I'm about to order. And you could tell he's like, he's like, is she fucking whatever? And I go, I'm getting an iced latte with oat milk plus vanilla. He jumps in, he goes, not vanilla! And we like start going back and forth. Yes.
Cause I'm exhausted. I put in a good thirty minutes of crowd work with the barista.
Oh, god. I can honestly say, I've never once talked, anytime I've ever walked into a coffee shop.
This is the kind of thing where I'm like, I'm sorry, I just need my coffee. Like, it's one thing if it's, no, but you know what? I, I see both sides. When I'm miserable at work, there's two ways you go about it. You could cry or you can laugh. And this man shows happiness. Is he coming for some people in the line? Yes, but you know what?
You know, this is New York City. People are always auditioning.
Well, I was about to say, do you, do you want to open for me? Do you have a good ten minutes?
The floor for a minimum eight hours.
I mean, he's on a stage. He has the microphone. But it, it does make your job more fun when every time someone orders something, you have an insane reaction to it. Just watch, it's in the Lower East Side. If anyone, what's it called? I don't know, I blacked out.
Small business, a shout out.
But if you're not in the mood, just don't go to that place. Anyway, what's up, gigglers?
Yeah, we didn't even say hi, cause we got right into it.
I like your headband.
Thank you. How are you? Did you see the Jake from State Farm got a hold of Windbreaker Gate? Whenever brands get involved in like certain funny bits, it's interesting to see like what brands. State Farm wasn't in my back pocket. I was not expecting them.
The OG gigglers know, back in my day, I was seeing a guy named Jake during COVID. And we called him Jake from State Farm. So it was kind of a beautiful.
Honestly forgot about that.
And you know what we called Dez? Caddy Daddy.
Oh, my god. It's so funny, though. The other day, I was cleaning out my kitchen.
You ever cleaned out your kitchen?
Never in my life.
Okay, let me tell you, you find things, like it's a totally different world than like cleaning out your bedroom or cleaning out your closet, because you're like, when would I ever use eighty-five spatulas?
Do you remember spiralizers?
Spiralizers?
There was like a time in twenty eighteen where all the girls were buying these like ten-dollar spiralizers on Amazon where you put a zucchini in it and you spiral it and you make zucchini pasta.
You know, I didn't have one of those, but that's the type of things I was finding. Like choppers and like slicers and like a salad maker. I'm like, I've never made a salad at this house.
But it's the kind of stuff you buy to just make yourself feel better, but you know you're down.
I was like, I'm an adult, I should have like a complete kitchen. So I'm cleaning out my kitchen and I just find like a coffee mug that's a State Farm on one side and Jake on the other. And I was like-
Is his name Jake?
No, not his real name.
Okay, it's false advertising.
There was a whole other guy before him, remember?
Yeah, what did they do with him?
You're done in this town.
I want to see a documentary of where the first Jake from State Farm is now.
What is he doing? Guy from Dell.
Whatever happened to him, remember him?
True.
Remember, they brought back the mayhem guy because people were like, hello?
There should be awards for commercials.
Flo from Progressive.
Um, we do know- She's probably made-
So much money.
So much money from that.
She's probably like tried to audition for something else and they're like, hey, can we talk for a second? You're Flo from State Farm.
I actually think I have seen her in something and I'm like- Sorry, she's typecast now.
No, like they actually do. I met, um, the Verizon girl.
Yep.
Who is an incredible actress, but you know, she's so widely known.
Do you guys want to know what happened to Jake from State Farm?
The original Jake from State Farm was a real State Farm employee named Jake Stone, who worked in an Indiana call center, was cast from an internal casting call, blah, blah, blah. He did not pursue acting, left State Farm to become a bartender, and now lives a private life with his family.
Obsessed with him, he got too big. He was like, I didn't want this fame. I didn't want this life. He's like, Hollywood is not for me.
That is so not how I saw it going.
He, he got too famous.
The guy's name is Kevin, by the way.
And he was like, I just wanna do my passion, which is making drinks.
Look, I get it.
Well, what's funny about when I saw this cup, I literally had a thought where I was like, oh, should I throw this out? And then I was like, yeah, throw it out.
No, I would never.
You don't know anyone named Jake. It doesn't ma- like, just throw it out. And I was like, when am I ever having an encounter with State Farm? Where I have to be like, I threw your cup out. Literally three days later, Jake from State Farm on windbreaker day.
The universe came for you with that.
I was like, it's just a cup. I was thinking about it nonstop.
State Farm is so happy right now. The marketing girls are like, we knew they would latch on to this. You know that he, they had to set that up. He had to go in his green room, have the windbreakers or the jackets lined up. Um, so shout out to the girl at marketing that put that together.
Do you ever have like, where you feel bad for like inanimate objects?
Like, do you, are you ever like in your house and like, um, like I'm trying to think of an example, like, like the salt shaker is in one cabinet and the peppers in another? And you're like, oh, I feel bad because they're like alone, so I have to like put them together.
You should talk to someone about that. You should for sure talk to someone about that. It's crazy because you don't feel bad for, you don't feel bad for animate objects. But non-animate objects you suddenly have empathy for? Yeah, look that up. Get that checked out. Go to-
Like you've never like left your stuffed animal and you're like, okay, like I'm leaving and like I'll be back.
This isn't Toy Story 3.
Guys, not one time your entire childhoods, you've never looked at an item and been like, I feel bad.
Well, you're, you're like the most materialistic person I've ever met in my life. But now, now it makes sense because you're like, because they have feelings too.
Like, maybe, no, a plant, maybe I would.
Don't get me started about my plant. I'll cry. I've had my plant for almost 10 years. It's my favorite item. Josephine had to take my plant for like a couple of weeks.
You didn't trust her.
And I checked on my plant more than I've ever checked on Daphne with like the sitter. I'm like, Josephine, don't forget to water my plant.
With the sitter, you have to check on the sitter more than Daphne. You're like, has she been rude? Is she making you feel bad about yourself?
Okay.
So is your kitchen clean?
Yeah, my kitchen's clean. I got a lot. I got rid of a lot of stuff. You don't realize how many things you have that end up being expired. It's not good. You gotta check.
Oh, that's why I don't have anything in my fridge.
Yeah. Well, it's like more of like my canned items and like my dressings.
Wait, canned items go bad? I thought that was the whole point of preparing for the apocalypse.
Well, sometimes, like, like, I think I threw out some, like, soups.
I don't think I've ever bought a canned item and ate it.
Really?
Like, I, you know.
Well, I've been on a tuna kick, so like, I've been eating tuna. I just recently ordered a bunch of beans because I got a TikTok that was like, beans are so good for you. And my mom always says that, so I'm like, let me get on my bean kick.
Poor Daphne, she's like, you're hotboxing me.
Wait, but wait, you love tuna, but you're not giving fish wife a chance?
Fish wife? Oh, the tin fish?
Yeah, cuz they have tuna, albacore, salmon.
What's it look like inside the tin?
It looks like a tuna fish can.
Okay, then I'll give it a try.
You should give it a try cuz it's full of antioxidants and I'm not sponsored by them.
There is this thing in my brain that.
It's cat food.
No. There's this thing in my brain that it's like, this is sick too. If my mom didn't buy that brand, I'm not buying that brand.
Oh.
Like, I can't deviate from certain things cuz I'm like, I didn't grow up with that and like, we use Heinz ketchup. Like.
Do you know, and you know, like, when you go to someone else's house and you're like, oh, interesting, you guys are that family. You buy that brand.
Are glowing the dark cuz you're drinking that orange juice product.
Like, I remember one time I went to my friend's house and instead of orange juice in the morning, they drank Sunny D. And I was like, I was like obsessed. I love it. And I remember going back home being like, Mom, there's a different kind of orange juice you can buy. And she was so offended. She was like, I'll never. Sunny D in this house.
Sunny D is if orange juice and Mountain Dew had a baby.
And their name was Chad.
Juice. I mean, not juice. It's basically soda.
It's like soda juice.
Wait, Sunny D. Oh, my God. I had some crazy days on Sunny D as a kid. You have a Sunny D and then blackout for four hours. You wake up. Everything's a mess. You came out from... That's a K-hole. Sunny D is...
We were very different children.
That was my K-hole.
Like, I didn't play unless my socks matched my bow. So, no, I didn't black out on Sunny D.
My mom had a full meetings with babysitters telling them to water down my juice because I was, I was like, unsafe to be around other kids with the amount of sugar I was... Anyway. Sunny D, oh, my God.
Yeah, that was a blast from the past. Um. Wait, I was gonna say something before we got on a Sunny D tangent that I just like didn't see coming.
I feel like you should be wearing more rings. Why are you not wearing any rings right now?
You know, I just saw my ring. This is also what happens when you clean things out. I saw, I go, guys, I don't wear you enough.
Paige is wearing a ring.
And I go back for my rings.
How did you choose which fingers? Do you feel bad for the fingers that don't have a ring?
I actually did.
I said, oh, you guys have two rings here together and you don't have any rings.
I'm really into like, I mean, this is obviously a fake diamond, but I'm really into pinky rings recently. And I ordered from this...
Cause you're Italian, cause you knew.
Wow, yeah. And I ordered from this brand. It's called Wolf and Badger. And they had like all these like diamond pinky rings that I'm like obsessed with. And that's just my...
I'm obsessed with non-diamond rings because I don't want the responsibility of owning real jewelry.
You know, I have a sensory problem, so I don't, which I feel like you do too, because you never wear jewelry when you don't have to.
I don't wear my wedding ring.
Right.
Cause it gives me a rash.
I don't wear a lot of jewelry either, but every time I see a girl that's like, has a bunch of rings on, has a necklace, has her earrings, I'm like, oh, yeah, your outfit looks 10 times better because you accessorized.
I feel like ring girls to me are like tattoo girls where like it looks good on them. But on me, it's like she's a tryhard.
Yes.
Fake bitch.
I love... Tattoo girls.
Oh my god, every now and I see one, like this girl was playing tennis and she has one on her arm.
I mean, like, real tattoo girls, like, like a Kat Von D tattoo girl.
Like, full sleeves.
Do you know how girls were like, if I was a worm, would you love my ass, Dez? I was like, if I was tatted up all the way, would you love me? I don't remember what he said, because I didn't care.
That is the most random. Look, if he said no, I would be like, what is it, nineteen fifty-five?
Wait, I keep this a secret, so I'm just gonna tell the giggers. It's our four-year anniversary.
That's disgusting.
I know.
Wait, Hannah, the other day, did you see that when you commented on Dez's Instagram? You're like, nice jacket?
Oh, yeah.
I commented back to you and said, don't get any ideas. But when I saw you comment on your own husband's Instagram, I did have a moment where I was like, oh, they have inside jokes.
Okay, so they have bits that they've run that I have no idea about.
You're actually in on that bit, because Dez was going to do comedy, stops and goes, look at my outfit. And I go, wait, I love that jacket. And he goes, send it to Paige, and then walked out.
But I just had a moment where I was like, oh, she has a friend. Obviously, you've been married for four years, that's your friend. But I was like, oh, okay, I guess, I guess I'm out.
I like, I do like to comment on his photo, just to remind people that I'm there, that I'm lurking. But never too, like, lovey dovey. But not too mean where people think we're in a fight. I like it very.
What are you gonna do for your four-year anniversary? Are you doing anything?
We forgot. It was actually yesterday.
That's so you. Wait, that is so you guys.
Well, we woke up in the morning and I had to hop on a plane. And I got on the plane, he texted me, by the way, it's our anniversary. And I was like, I love you.
Wait, not to sound so pick me, but you really aren't like other girls.
Like, I feel like if you ask like a 25 year old guy, like, what's their dream girl? Like, it is you because you don't care about like certain things that like the majority of girls would be pissed. Like, if you ask a random girl, oh, if your husband forgot your wedding anniversary, would you be pissed? The majority would say, yeah. Well, but you're like, I forgot.
Well, I was gonna say, I'm not mad at him because I'm in the same boat. Um, but also, I just want a man who's kind and nice and funny. And those, I do think when a guy goes too hard on anniversaries, it's like, you have another family.
Yeah, interesting.
Dez is not overcompensating.
Is Dez like, I'll send you flowers randomly kind of guy? Or is he like, I feel like he's like an act of service guy? Like, I helped you organize this because it would help your day.
So, great question. I, early on, like, kind of made a joke, but I was serious. I was like, I don't, I'm not really a flowers person. I get them and then...
That's the most pick me thing.
No, it's so pick, because I don't say it out loud, that's pick me. But like, to him, I was like, don't get me flowers.
What don't you like about getting flowers?
Because then they go bad. Also, I have to take care of, suddenly I have a child in my house that I'm not around. And then it starts smelling. I get in trouble because the butter eats a flower, throws up. Like, it's just, I've never had a good experience with flowers. I guess like Valentine's Day, I'm like, yeah, I could use a flower. But like, guys randomly bringing you flowers, I'm like, who did you fuck today?
Like, I don't like that at all. This is Dez. I, well, first of all, I land for the Sports Illustrated weekend I'm doing. Immediately order Chinese food. Like, as I'm getting in the Uber, I get my chicken and broccoli with white sauce, mushu pork. And dumplings.
Go to town on it.
Realize, oh, I have a fitting for a Sports Illustrated weekend. Nothing sipping. And I was like.
Well, the sodium alone.
The sodium and the bloat from the flight together was disastrous. And I knew I was about to get a spray tan. It was hard. But anyway, my special's coming out. And we're doing, we're trying to put the trailer together. Comedy trailers are really hard because they don't want to put the full bit. They want to like tease. But if you tease too much, it just doesn't, it'll look like you're saying anything.
So I'm like insanely editing this trailer and I called him just like overwhelmed by the edit. And like trying to figure it out. And he like talked me off a ledge and he's like, let me look at it. I'll have figured out whatever. Like, that's what I want my husband for.
Not giving me flowers and then like not talking to me all day. Which does sound peaceful as well.
Honestly, I'm gonna say the latter.
But the trailer said, I think we got it. I'm just like a perfectionist with it.
Yeah, you are a perfectionist.
I showed it to you.
Yep, it's really good. You looked phenomenal.
Well, that's all you care about.
It's so funny because there was one part in the trailer where I was like, pause real quick. And you were like, I know what you're gonna say. And I was like, your hair looks phenomenal. Like in that two second.
You watched it on mute.
I was like, did you like the bits I chose? And you go, the way your hair was like off your shoulder.
You know what? I think everything you do is funny. So I don't even have to. Like, I don't have to check on that. I'm there for certain aesthetics things that maybe you wouldn't think of.
I would have missed.
And Des would have missed. Oh, God. So anyway, happy anniversary, Desmond.
You know how there's like a whole side of TikTok that's like Chinese medicine and like.
Guys, this is important, actually.
She goes, this is where I get all my doctor stuff.
Don't even speak badly because there are a lot of things that I've tried that I'm like, that actually really did work. So the most recent thing was like.
You're gonna go.
And look, St. Anthony, don't let this happen, but.
I'm gonna see like a trend.
Shove something in the wrong place, wake up in the morning.
Or like eat this. I'm like, absolutely. No, this girl was saying that in Chinese culture, it is just the norm that when you're at home and you're about to take a shower, if you're a girl, you get undressed, you take your underwear in the shower with you, you wash it in the shower, then you throw it in your dirty laundry. Because they're like, it's such a sensitive area that it should be washed double. And I'm like, yeah, absolutely. That makes so much sense. Then I saw the video. Did you see the girl washing her underwear in a hotel in the coffee machine?
Woman in step of the week.
That is one of the most diabolical things I've ever seen in my life.
This is how I do my laundry from now on. No. Because you know I'm in a hotel with just a bunch of dirty underwear and I'm like, do I Instacart?
There's a sink.
But the coffee, the heat, the heat really gets the bacteria.
And then people are just drinking your discharge? I don't even notice if there's a coffee machine in my hotel room.
Dez makes the coffee in this household, or I order it. But also when he tried to explain to me how to make coffee, because I didn't drink coffee until like I went on tour.
Because I was too hyper. I could barely drink Sunny D. He's like, yeah, you just know how much, he acts like an Italian grandma. He's like, you just put some coffee on the, the coffee on the top.
What's your coffee machine of choice?
He's, it's his job. Like, he's the house manager.
Right, he is.
Like, I don't ask where things are from, how they got there.
It's so true.
How they work. I don't know when it's working, when it's not working. Occasionally, I'll just be like.
Do you know the brand? Like, are you a cuisine art person? Do, are you doing like?
Is that a thing? Cuisine? Cuisine?
Cuisine art.
Cuisine art?
No. Cuisine art. I think I'm saying it right. Or are you like an espresso pod family?
Seen espresso pod, that's a whole different.
It's a whole different genre.
That really stresses me out. I've fucked up many Nespresso pods in a hotel room.
Yeah, see, now after the woman washing her underwear, I'll never even.
Two things that are bougie about me.
Let's hear them, because I, let me, let me think first what I think.
Not travel. Not every day. Not sleeping accommodations. I'm really getting stumped. I would say now, the person you are today.
I would say.
You're not gonna get it.
I know, because I was gonna say hotel, but you're really not.
Well, I do, I do love hotel rooms. I love treating my openers to amazing hotel rooms now. But that's all because you taught me that it was important. Because I'm like, we gotta bed, we gotta bed. Okay. These are things I spoil myself with now. I will order an eight dollar delivery coffee.
In the morning.
In the morning, if I want.
That's a non-negotiable. I love, and I want it like a milkshake. I want hazelnut. I want, I want whatever. Second thing.
Really get your gut started on the right foot.
Yeah. And then I'm like, I think I may be.
Start the day off with bloat, because it's only down from there.
If I'm gonna be emotionally miserable, I might as well be physically, emotionally, whatever. Anyway. Okay, this is insane, but I bought on Amazon phone chargers with a really long.
Cables.
Like ten footers.
And I put it in every single room.
So every room I go into.
Put your hand down, you'll find a cable.
Plug it in. Somehow, still, my phone's never charged. But like, you know how like you have that one charger you can never find, I'm losing it? I, one day I said, fuck it, I'm buying ten chargers on Amazon. I'm putting it in every.
One of my favorite things is small. No, we got it.
Every crevice in my house.
One of my favorite things is like small luxuries that aren't real luxuries. Like one time I went away for like a weekend with one of my girlfriends. We stayed at this insane house in Miami and everyone was like, oh my god, this house is amazing and it has this and it has this and blah, blah, blah. And I go, did you see that next to the beds? They had like a little sticky thing that stuck onto the night side table that you put the charger in, so the cord never. I was like, these people are rich and they know luxury. I then ordered. Every room needed to have one wherever there was a charger, so it never like slipped down.
I think it's might be like the New Yorker in me where like I like to smell bullshit. And sometimes we'll stay in like a nice hotel and you're like, oh, it's so nice. And I get there. The fucking light isn't working. You have to go here to get the charger. I'll burn the place to the ground. I'm like, that's not luxury to me. I don't care that it's like, it has gold. Like toilets. I want a charger that what like I want.
What are you in Vegas? Where the hell are you?
I am talking about a fucking casino in Vegas we went to, yes. But these like, oh, this marble's been around. I don't give a fuck. I can't charge my phone.
Yeah. I hate when there's not enough outlets. Like, I don't need the alarm clock plugged in. I have a phone. It's 2026. Get a grip.
Have you ever had an alarm clock go off in a hotel?
No.
Hmm, that's happened to me, but I'm not gonna get into it right now. I digress. And lastly, I like vintage bags.
Cause it's sustainable.
Well, sometimes you do send me a bag where I'm like, that was run over by an 18 wheel tractor trailer. Someone's grandma owned it, ripped the handle off, sewed it back together. And I'm like, why would you buy this bag for $2,000?
Cause I love a sale.
Yeah, you do.
If it's like, it says like Chanel bag for, for $700. I'm like, this is incredible. I send it to you and you go.
You only like shopping to be competitive.
Yeah. I feel like I got something. So, but then you'll be like, let's zoom in for a second.
Yeah, they take off quick, Amber.
Someone took a Sharpie and wrote all over it.
And, um, and I'll be like, oh, that's why it's like five.
$4.
Yeah, it's $4 for a Chanel. But do you ever find with vintage shopping, if you find your size, even if it's kinda ugly, you're like, well, I have to get it.
Yeah, absolutely. Cause you're like, when am I ever gonna come across? Like when I go to Italy, there's one vintage store that I go to. That I'm like, I have to get everything that's in my size. Cause what am I gonna come across? My mom's like, you don't even like it.
It feels like the universe was speaking to you. I'm like, I need to get it.
One time I went into a vintage store and they were like, this bag came out in 1992. I go, I was born in 1992. That's my bag. She was like, okay.
I also think with bags.
So is a whole generation.
There'll be an outfit one day that you're like, oh, this crazy outfit works perfectly with this crazy bag. But it could take years.
Right. Vintage shopping is like, it could take years to have the perfect thing to wear that to. Where I am such a like thrower outer that I'm like, if I haven't worn it in the past year, it's out of there.
You get rid of vintage?
Well, no, I don't get rid of anything designer, but like if I don't wear something for a full calendar year, I get rid of it because I'm not what I'm gonna wear then.
Well, I'm a horrible shopper. I never wear anything.
It goes the whole, I'm like, I'm wearing what I've been wearing.
Here's the other thing. If you don't see what you have, you can't remember. That's why I'm always organizing my closet because I'm like, I forget that I have things.
Are you against drawers?
You're gonna be swamped against drawers in 2026.
The anti, because if everything's.
I'm not anti drawer.
Okay. But like if things are folded up in drawers, you feel like you don't wear as much.
Well, I think what goes in drawers is your like essentials, like your workout clothes, your underwear, your pajamas. Like things that you're not putting together.
I do see a world where you're running like a styling organization, pimple popping company in your future. I don't know. It's just like, you'd be so good at it. But I guess it's, that's how you influence now. Like you tell people.
Those are just my hobbies.
Yeah. You're like, don't try to monetize my hobbies.
Don't try and monetize. Do I try and monetize when you do needlepoint? No.
I did it for one day.
I'm so annoyed that like my dad loves the Knicks and he's so funny when he talks about the Knicks. I'm like, dad, start a Knicks podcast. And he's like, no, this is what I love to do. Why make it into a job? And I'm like, okay, I'll go to therapy.
No, truly. Okay. Autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work, outfit. Getting a meeting outfit, getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Allies from Sam Edelman. They're ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too.
She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a T-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code giggly15. This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Affogato.
Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around two o'clock. Whether that's making a pick me up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day. And this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Affogato Creme filling. So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Affogato
wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. Can we talk about the difference between a home that's furnished and a home that's intentional? Because if you're still living with a mattress on the floor at 25, that's crazy. And Cozy is here to help. Bed frames, sofas, rugs, shelves, tables. Cozy has everything and it all comes in boxes directly to your door. Cozy furniture is modular, so the piece you buy for your current place can reconfigure to fit your next one. And you can always add as your space and taste evolves. You can swap covers when you want to change and they go right in the wash whenever you spill something. If you have no clue where to start, they offer free one-on-one design consultations. So a real person can help you plan your space. No fees.
So transform your living space today with Cozy. That's C-O-Z-E-Y.com. Make yourself at home. Giggly Squad, as we know, is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if you've ever had intrusive thoughts, you're not alone. For millions of people, it's not just anxiety, that's OCD, and most of them have no idea. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief. And these thoughts can feel very real, which makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment.
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I have an update from last week. I was complaining about people who blow their nose and make like
Insane sounds.
Insane sounds. A girl messaged me. She's our, um, running runner-up woman of the week. She said she used to make that noise. She realized it's because those people don't realize that you're supposed to close one nostril. So they're doing two nostrils, which makes-
How do you get any grit? How do you get any air to-
Also, how did we get there? Like- I don't remember anyone telling me you did one Australian time. I thought it was just innate.
Do you want to hear one of the most disgusting things that I've ever witnessed in my?
I don't like phlegm stories.
Well, it's a phlegm story. So buckle up.
Like loogies make me, I'll die.
I had a boyfriend.
For a, I know, already.
I feel like anyone listening to this is like, how many goddamn boyfriends? And honestly, guys, it's actually not that many. It's just, they did a lot of weird shit. So I rotate the stories in and out. I had a boyfriend for kind of a little bit of a while.
I was just as shocked as he was. Who would blow his nose, no tissue, no nothing, put one finger and just blow into the air.
Well, you know what that's called?
I'd be like, this is my living room.
It's called snot rocket.
Now, if we're outside on a hot summer day somewhere, he's a little stuffed up, like, maybe I would get it. I'm like, go to the bathroom, get a piece of toilet paper, what's going on?
Like, where did you meet this caveman?
Like, if there was like a takeout bag or something on the table, he would like, just go like that and do it. And I would look at him and be like, people think you're like a put together person. And I'm out here lying.
That's like savagery.
It was one of the craziest, like, habits that I'm like, where did you even learn this? And how has no one in your whole life, see, this is what I think about men.
No one's called them out.
No one calls them out.
They can get into these little pockets for years where they're around people that are never calling them out. So then here I come, and they're like, this is the meanest woman we've ever met in our lives.
I'm calling it how I see it.
And I'm like, hey, just, just telling you that.
No, you're so right. He was around friends that were like, that's actually pretty cool, bro. And he was like, that's my whole thing. Now, it's my whole personality. I, I've snot rocketed before.
Because like, I'm on the tennis court and you're playing.
It's so funny.
And you go to the back and you don't have a paper and you just go, and it feels disgusting, but like, you have to. And you're sweating and you're crying and you're bleeding. Like, that's just part of the war.
I'm so happy you said this and brought this up because I used to have a theory. That's another thing. Whenever I have a boyfriend, I have multiple theories about them.
That I don't, I don't dare tell anyone.
You let the internet handle that.
I only tell Hannah so that we can revert back to it after I break up with them so that someone here has remembered my theory. And I used to think like, oh, did the guys that were cool in high school who played sports do that? And you thought it was cool, so then for the rest of your life, you did that? Now, I made that entire thing up.
No, you didn't.
But I think it was true, and I think it was accurate.
I just had an epiphany.
That's why loud, short men don't like me.
They hate you.
Loud, short men.
Well, you're their competition.
Hate me because they see me and they were like, oh, she could beat me at sports. And they hate that they couldn't do sports. And I'm like, it's not my fault that I'm naturally athletic and my calves, like, I have a good vert.
Men don't care about women they don't find attractive. So if you meet someone who's your same height, they already know she's never, like, saying yes to me for a date.
And they know I can throw a football farther than them. And they know I could beat the shit out of them.
Yeah, and so they're immediately, like, on the defensive with you.
But then with you, they're not.
Well, because I come off dainty, but they don't know that I have a mouth on me.
And then when you do let the mouth out, they think that they blacked out. They're like, that couldn't have been Paige, that was Hannah.
I think the first time Joe ever heard my mouth, he was like, whoa. And I was like, yeah, I'm so sorry for that. It will happen a million times again.
I had a giggler DM me and she goes, hey, I found my boyfriend's pocket pussy, what should I do? I'm jarred, I'm floored.
Jarred.
I'm like, of course, the one DM I opened, it's the most sexual. I'm like, girl, where? You know? She goes, what should I do? I sent her back the most diabolical response. I go, she goes, should I say something about it? I go, don't you dare let him know that you know this little tidbit of information? Because you might need blackmail at some point. Then I said, if you ever get into a fight. And immediately, the line that came to my head was, go fuck your pocket pussy, you incel loser. And then I go, I'm so sorry, he might be a nice man.
Wait, I love how you go, hold that. It's like a, it's like a punchline where you're like, I'm gonna wait for like, an important show to do that punchline. You're like, this is good. See, I would immediately just want to talk to him and be like, wait, tell me the story, how this happened. Or I would cut, I would find a printer somehow. Print out a photo of my face, tape it on, put it back. Or I put hot sauce in it, but that's like if he's cheating or something.
But also like, look on the other side, he's
He's
Minding his own business. He's literally at home, minding his own business.
Just having fun.
Doing what's naturally done.
Is that, it's the same as a fleshlight?
I think it's the same thing. I've never
Same company. Same brand.
Have I ever seen one in person?
Never have I ever.
I'm gonna say, never have I ever.
I wonder.
Oh no. Remember that time one got delivered to my apartment and I opened it and I was like, what the fuck is this? And it was the wrong
And you had to look the guy in the eye and give it to him?
I didn't, I never looked him in the eye. I knocked and ran.
That's how the guy at the hotel felt, giving me my thongs from Target. Chris, do you judge a friend if they have a fleshlight or is that just kind of?
That's, they definitely don't know.
Like is there a certain guy who has a fleshlight or it's like, anyone could have a fleshlight?
You guys would like openly talk about in an open forum.
Some guys do, it gets close, I don't even
And they'll say, like, I bought one.
Wait, I love Chris, he's like, honestly, it's really gross, I don't want to talk about it.
Not to be so pick me, which is the theme of the episode, but dare I argue, it's the same as a vibrator. I mean, kind of. We're both like doing the same thing with something plastic.
No, you're right.
It's like not good for the environment. Doesn't, definitely doesn't decompose.
There's a sadness to it though. You know what it is? It's because like, men can jerk off easier. Where women like, we need multiple vibrations. We need different shapes. We need a rabbit. We need like all these
Did you see the TikTok of the girl that was like, sorry, is anyone using the setting?
And I'm, and everyone was like, no, why do they even?
Why is it Morse code?
She's like, is anyone stopping, starting?
Female aliens calling for help from a different planet. And we're like, what is this?
Our third woman of some of the week.
Oh my god.
Is Zara Larson.
I have a question. People do the Today Show all the time.
Every day.
People perform every day on the Today Show. Why is this the first time there's footage going around of an actress, I mean, a singer, like, doing their practice run at the Today Show? Have you seen this?
Didn't see this.
All over my feed is Zara Larson. It's like 4 a.m., her face is like 4 a.m., no makeup, and she's like trying to go through her practice. And I'm like, why is this being filmed and blasted everywhere?
What is the, like,
She's doing a morning-
rhetoric of the video? Like, what are people saying?
People are just like getting footage of her doing the practice, like a sound check, as they call it in the biz.
They're not being like, oh my god, she-
No, they're like, she's awesome, but like, she's barefaced and she made like a comment about it.
You've just never seen someone practice for the Today Show?
Yeah, there's not, why is it just Zara Larson they have on Blaz doing that? I mean, it was iconic, but like, I've never seen a sound check.
I've never seen a sound check either, and I would assume because it's so early in the morning that the people aren't there yet to like get footage of celebrities. I don't think people perform that much. I think they only perform in the summer.
Because they do that, like, outside summer series.
But still, like, I've never seen makeupless, sound check footage. No, I don't feel bad for her, it was empowering, but I also was like, at least make it even playing field, why just make Zara Larson go out there? Because I'm not a morning person, so I saw the pain in her eyes. And I was like, I feel so bad. Also, we ran into my ex-boyfriend.
We have to tell the gay guys.
Wait, okay. You know, when you're walking with your friend and you see someone that's like, okay, maybe not like aesthetically pleasing, and you're like, that's your boyfriend? Like, and you're joking, you're like, oh, here's Hannah's boyfriend. So anyway, me and Hannah are walking on the sidewalk, and Hannah goes, oh, that's my ex-boyfriend. And I immediately just think everything she says is a joke, so I'm like, okay, cool.
I know, all the time I'll see like a crazy man running down the street because he's my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah, so I'm just thinking like, it's a bit, but I, but I didn't really look at the guy, but I just saw that he was on a bike. And so we're like, keep walking, and Hannah's like, no, really, that's my ex-boyfriend.
You had zero reaction. I was like, I was twenty-two, living in Hills Kitchen. That's my ex-boyfriend.
And I was like, oh, I didn't know you were serious. Then, at that same exact moment, you're still looking straight. I turn around. I see him go past on the bike and I'm like, oh, he's definitely checking to see if it was you. Then I hear him coming like behind us and I'm like, okay, just like keep bugging, keep bugging, keep bugging.
Now, mind you.
So many obstacles we're gonna have to go through.
First of all, I was really sweaty.
To the point that-
You were overstimulated.
I was wearing jeans and I was really sweaty and I had-
You had been overstimulated for like the last hour.
Yes, and then I put my hair up in a bun.
Which you never do.
Cause that's how hot and overstimulated it was.
And-
If you see Hannah's hair up, it's not good inside.
It's not good. I'm freaking the fuck out. So I was already like over it. And then it was such a like moment that your ex-boyfriend would come by.
So if I had been like feeling myself, I would have turned the fuck around and be like you. But I was like, we gotta get out of here. Like this is not the moment that I envisioned. This is not the timing. And cause he was one of my good ex-boyfriends. Like he didn't-
Oh, so like we could have said hi.
No, he's done nothing wrong in his life.
What is that like?
This was a Lenora situation. This was early in my twenties. Lenora just goes, I'm over it. And I was like, but he's like, and she's like, yeah, I don't think he's the one.
Yeah, he's fine.
She was like, he's fine. You're twenty-three. What are you gonna do? Date him for four more years? Get out?
That's me.
And the breakup was actually really-
Nice.
Sad.
Cause like, it was just like a normal day and I was like, hey. So I had a meeting with my mom and-
And we've decided to never see you again.
We were gonna have to let you go.
And he was like, so I can't talk to you tomorrow? Like there was like no bad vibe. Like it was really sad.
And I was like, I don't, let me call my mom. And then I was like, yeah, she said we can't talk tomorrow. And like, she was right. Like he wasn't who I was meant to be with, but like- I actually wouldn't have, I could have not gone into comedy if I stayed with, stayed with him.
Wow. I think I've had like one of those breakups.
I think I would have gotten distracted, maybe later.
But you were bored already with him.
Maybe. I remember like it definitely was, it was a premature breakup. Like I definitely was like, the next day I was like, oh, I can't text him. And I'm the one who broke up with him. But it was, I was ready. There was tears, for sure. It was really sad.
That's sad.
But like, it was mature of me to be like, we need to get more people on the roster.
I don't recommend sad breakups.
It felt like, it felt like I was running a basketball team. And the star of my team, he was good. He's never done anything wrong. We're not winning a championship.
Got it.
So I was, they're like, what can I do better? And I'm like,
It's just not it. You just don't have the sauce and that's fine.
And we need to bring in some new blood to like, get a new team to possibly win a championship one day.
Wait, that's a great way to put it.
That's literally how it was. So I actually have not had like, any real dramatic breakups. One breakup I had.
That sounds so nice. That says a lot about you, I think, and a lot about me.
Shout out all my ex-boyfriends. Also, all my ex-boyfriends, like real ex-boyfriends, don't have social media. That was what was crazy about seeing him on the bike. Cause like, he has, you search his name, nothing comes up. And his mom has texted me recently. It was one of those. Cause like, we never had beef. I never had beef with his mom. And she probably was like, I get it, girl. But like, we're cool.
No satisfaction, like a mom years later being like, you were the one. And I'm like, bitch, I know. Tell me something I don't know.
I'm like, you have amazing taste, just not with your son. But then also, once I had a breakup with a guy, I had to wait for my mom to go on vacation. So I could do it because she really liked him. And I didn't want her, so I did it while she was on vacation. She came back and I had to drop it on her. I mean, I was right. She just was like, I knew it would upset her and I didn't want to upset her before her vacation. Cause I love my mom.
It's funny because I get a lot of DMs of girls being like, I'm going through a breakup and very split. Some are like, what do you do to be like distracted? Like, how do I move on? And then other girls will be like, I'm devastated. Like, I was blindsided. And honestly, I feel like they should be sending like you those messages because you're more like a logical breakup where I'm.
I'm like, I hate you.
You just went through a very public breakup, so people are like, wanna connect with you on it. But um, no, I'm really healthy with breakups.
Yeah, where I'm like.
I've never hooked up with an ex.
Yeah, that's crazy. And do you, um, do any ever reach out to you like amicably and say like, just like been seeing what you were doing, like so proud of you?
I've dated a certain character of guy who again is like chill, confident, doesn't do social media, doesn't want attention. When we broke up, he was like, I love you, I wish you the best. And then never heard from him again.
I have like multiple guys like that where I can't, that's why I was so freaked out.
Yeah, I have a couple like never heard of from them again, which like, thank God.
Shout out British Dave, like, I don't talk to him, like, he'll say happy birthday sometimes. If something really big happens, he'll say something.
That's really nice.
He's dating a girl in Australia. And like, we just, we always loved each other. We just, it wasn't like, we never even were like official, I don't think.
Stop, that's so nice.
We just, cuz we like fucked with each other, like it was cool.
Do you know I don't have one ex-boyfriend that would dare, even dream to dare, to send me a text saying congrats on like anything? They wouldn't, it wouldn't even cross their mind. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe pull something up I saved on Instagram, but there's really never any planning behind it. And you know, I hate a workout class. That's why I've been loving the Ladder app. I can open it and my workout is already planned and I can do it anywhere. You have an expert coach and you know exactly what exercises you're doing, how many sets, how many reps. And the in-ear coaching gives you cues and motivation throughout the workout.
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One thing about me is with the new season, I like to have a new personality. You never have to stick to one personality and people don't talk about it enough.
No, if I'm wearing a hat, I'm a different person. Okay, the weather totally changes how you feel and it's obviously like getting a little cooler out and I'm a different girl in a turtleneck.
And part of rebranding is getting new clothes and that's why I love Revolve. They have everything I need to be a completely new person that no one's ever met before. Whether it's denim, such as an angled barrel jean, I'm so different when I'm wearing a barrel jean. People do respect me more.
I'm a creative director of somewhere.
Then boots with a little kitten heel or a high heel. When I'm wearing boots, I command a room.
Yeah, and don't get me started on just like a really good dinner outfit. You get me a new blazer to go out to dinner, I'm having a time.
Hmm. And then people forget that on Revolve, there's also beauty. They have menswear, they have home, and they have Forward Renew, which is pre-owned luxury handbags. And you know how much we love vintage.
I've been recently loving Helsa's stuff. I feel like the first place I go to look is Revolve. And the number one thing I love about Revolve is order a bunch of stuff. Try it on in the comfort of your home. Easiest return ever. It's the only place I shop that I don't feel bad ordering extra stuff because I'm like, I have the luxury of trying it on and having the easiest returns.
And the shipping is so fast. And if you're like me and you don't know what you're doing two days from now, and then you're like, oh shit, I have a huge important dinner. Use Revolve. It's so fast and it's curated. So the website's really easy. I have been recently obsessed with, um, just like Norma Kamali.
The capris that she has are so cute for fall, so comfy, stretchy and perfect.
Revolve also carries the brands that you genuinely know and love. There's also room for discovering things. Everything's curated. You can find new brands you love, new styles you feel like wearing. Revolve just makes shopping easier. All the brands you want consistently updated, new arrivals, fast shipping, easy returns, and inevitably something you did not know you needed until five seconds ago. Go to revolve.com/giggly to shop our faves and use code giggly for 15% off your first order. That's revolve.com/giggly code giggly for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.
Gigglers, the holidays are coming and Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats. I'm a cat missionary and make sure everyone in my life has a cat and I'm doing really well at it. I foster and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat and you have such a to-do list, you know, hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background. So then I can focus on my guests and maybe convince
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Okay, let's be honest. When does Wisp come up in your group chat? For me, it's UTI relief. If someone's uncomfortable, I say just use Wisp and it's handled in hours, not days. It's genuinely great. But I realized I was treating Wisp like a resource just to get antibiotics for vaginal infections and it's really so much more than Wisp is a complete health platform for women and their partners now trusted by over 2 million people nationwide. That's not a coincidence. It's because once people are there for one thing, they realize how much else is actually available to them and they streamline their care. I love that Wisp allows women to optimize their time and health so they don't need to compromise. Beyond the antibiotics everyone knows them for, Wisp
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There are a ton of great guys I dated and then there's some where it's like, they know I know who they are.
The Shad's are a lot.
Yeah, this episode took an interesting turn.
I have the best breakup advice. If you're feeling like shit, first of all, if you're blindsided, like, that's not your soulmate.
But, um, thank you. Now go have fun. If you're single, tell yourself, I'm going out tonight. This is the song you put on that will heal everything, every time. Riding solo, Jason Derulo. Have you played that song recently?
I haven't.
Put it on. You're good. You've moved on. You're excited. You're like, get me out there in these streets.
I hate the phrase industry plant because I like, don't know what it is, but I feel like Jason Derulo was an industry plant. He had like a real time happening during COVID. Like he was really on the internet during COVID.
He was at a point with his songs where like they all somehow like had a little cocaine in them where like they hit like.
So catchy.
It was bad, but like, like the trumpet song. Imagine me trying to pitch that to a room. Like I have, it's just about trumpets and the trumpets go.
That is a phenomenal song.
They'd be like.
One of the best songs.
On paper, sounds horrible. In person, that could change a party.
Remember he like broke his tooth or something?
No, I think he dated Jordan Sparks.
Can you pass me that water?
Well, whoever decided water bottles should be made for ants? Why are there ant water? Like who's like, like just have a full water bottle.
It's not even good for you because it's in plastic and it's just like, there's so much plastic all around us. I can't take it.
Um, I have two qualms with like technology right now. One, my TikTok is so bad right now where I don't know if it's because I don't scroll that often, but when I do, I'm seeing things from a month ago.
Oh, I hate that.
On my feed and I have like pop culture stuff. So they'll be like, you'll never guess what just happened. And I'm watching three minutes of it and I realize this is from three months ago. Nothing should be on your feed from April 1st.
That never happens to you?
It does, but that's when I'm always like, the government's up to something.
Yeah, like I don't know what's happening. The number two.
I'm like, this is bigger than me.
It's too easy to delete a, a note on your notes app.
Hannah, I literally thought I got fired from Giggly Squad last night because I went to add something to the Giggly Squad notes app and it wasn't there.
Well, I gaslit you and started laughing. I'm like, of course you don't have the Giggly Squad app on your phone.
Did I just like delete it?
I think I accidentally deleted it and it deleted you. Because I be crazy with my notes and you know you like sneeze and next thing you know you have no notes on your phone.
If you had to pick one, your text messages getting subpoenaed, your notes app getting subpoenaed, what are you picking?
Notes app, a hundred percent. My text messages are insane.
I don't know, I say some crazy things to myself in my notes app.
They'll just be like, that's not a funny joke. Like that's what they'll say in my notes app. They'll be like, I see the premise, I don't see where it's going.
They'll be like, her idea when she was high is just chips and dip.
I think it would be hilarious, my notes app. But also my notes app, what I love is you can go to 2017. And I have like my goals, I have like lists of like my to do list when I was like 25 manifestations. Or like things that I'm working on, like it's actually every now and then when you're need to like reflect on your life, scroll your notes app.
You'll see like a breakup text.
I always have like my long to do list.
My 10 year plan.
Yeah, I was coming up with like funny video ideas in 2016.
Outfit ideas. I have a lot of outfit ideas.
I don't have any of those, I've never.
Clothes I want to order, stores I want to shop at that I don't, won't remember the name of them.
Recipes of things that you'll never make.
Yeah. I actually don't have a single recipe in my notes app.
My problem with text messages with, which people have to talk about with subpoenas is when someone's texting me, I'm leaning into their side. Doesn't mean I agree with them.
Well, matching their energy.
I'm ma-
I'm not gonna just leave someone out here on a limb.
Like they'll be like, oh, these two were talking shit. I'm like, yeah, but show me talking to the other girl.
I was playing both sides, babe. Like, don't, don't put me in a corner. I was, I was just getting information.
I really hope that our text messages are never subpoenaed. I don't know in what situation that would happen.
And then they throw this clip of me being like, I'm playing both sides, baby. And they go, she plays every side.
Oh, I also had a really traumatic experience at the Netflix is a Joke Festival that I didn't bring up.
What night?
Chelsea on their show. After I was like running away from Maria Chapova, she kept trying to talk to me. I was like, stop. I run into Blakely Thornton.
Who's hilarious, fun, we're vibing, we're loud, we're kikiing, and then he's holding a drink. And I'm just like, I'm have a sip, I'm kind of parched, I'll have a sip.
And he's like, sure, take a sip. Mezcal.
What kind of deranged person doesn't warn someone that their drink is mezcal?
Had you ever had it?
Yeah, once, and I said, never do that again.
Mezcal, if you don't know what it is, it's, I don't know what it is.
All I want is to see you at like, an after-party at 4 a.m. Like, I just want to see what you're doing, because, but I feel the same way, mezcal is like, because it's so like smokey.
It has a smoky, but it's like smoked salmon. Do you know what it was? Do you ever see those YouTube videos of babies eating lemons?
That's what I was when I drank Blakely's mezcal. I put him out, I looked at him like I'd been shot.
Yeah, like, I can't drink anything that has any type of smoky, like a bourbon, I don't even know.
But like, I'll do a spicy margarita.
Of course, I'll do a spicy margarita.
I'll do a whiskey ginger.
Except then I have a heartburn.
Spicy margaritas can be such a bad heartburn.
To think that you're just gonna get a little like, tequila soda in your mouth.
And then get mezcal, and he said nothing. He left me for dead.
Well, because tequila drinkers are a different breed. Like, I actually, I would say the majority of the people in my life that I'm around when they're drinking is tequila on the rocks.
I feel like it's showing off. Like, in your heart of hearts, is that really what you want? Get?
No, I don't like alcohol, I don't like the taste of anything.
I get pineapple juice.
It has to taste good for me.
With a little bit of, a little bit of vodka.
And ice, a lot of ice.
That's like seventeen years old.
I'm like, give me orange juice.
But water it down, please. You're like, do you have any Sunny D back there? I just love it with a little tequila.
Wait, Sunny D with tequila would slap. It's basically a thing that doesn't taste like alcohol.
Like Sunny D with champagne would be so good.
Lately on flights, everyone is ordering alcohol next to me.
Wait, I clutch my pearls on flights sometimes and I understand that people get nervous. But the other day I was on a flight and it was literally, I think we took off at 10:10. And there was a woman behind me and she ordered the most like hardcore drink. I just like, the way she said it, she was like, one big rock, like three.
Well, they order like they're at a fancy bar in Manhattan and I'm like, this, first of all.
I like, didn't really even know you could drink on a plane.
Until like that.
Also, these businessmen are ordering mimosas. I thought that was for girls.
Like, why are they taking up all the mimosas?
A lot of people order just like straight red wine too at any time of day.
Red wine.
Where I'm like, I feel like that's an after dinner drink.
This, it just wasn't the demo. It was like a 47 year old businessman sitting next to me who's like, bossily was like, I want a mimosa. And I was like, and then he went to white wine. Then I'm tracking this man's night. Like, I'm like, oh, we're doing another. I feel like his girlfriend being like, okay, well, we're gonna have a fight. He had like, he was, he kept switching. I'm like, why are we switching? Like, stick with an alcohol. And then he's peeing like the whole time. For the girls who are stressed when you're, and you don't fly that often and you want to get a fucking Bellini. Sorry, I love saying Bellini.
I don't know if they're available on flights, but get it. But it's just the men ordering all these mimosas and it's like, this is a business trip. You do this every week and you always get the mimosa and it's 8 a.m. and you've been eating.
Drinks on flights are for girls.
Yeah, it's, unless you're in a bachelorette or you're like going to Mexico.
I love the girls on TikTok that pack like, first of all, the girls that have their little snack tray.
Adorable. The girls that pack. There was a girl that made a full matcha. I was like, you're the cutest girl I've ever seen in my life. That's a fricking adorable. Romanticize your life. It was so sweet. And then there's like men ordering like tequila straight. I'm like, no.
I'm like, you're going to see your second family, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm like, what are you celebrating?
Go to work.
Wait, people need to ask men that more.
Yelling on speakerphone for the first 20 minutes? Stop. Literally stop.
Anyway, thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so, so much. And, um, we'll talk to you next week.
Bye.
Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored, catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments. With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen.
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Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated