Giggling about bikinis, road tests, and cheerleading

We're back in high school this week - Paige is defending cheerleading and Hannah is learning how to drive. Special thanks to our partners at Dunkin' for supporting this episode. #sponsoredbyDunkin watch our youtube series sign up for our newsletter order merch

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:05Speaker 02

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• 1:24Speaker 03

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• 1:37Speaker 04

  Sup, gigglers? Carrie, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 1:47Speaker 04

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:51Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my Gucci gigglers.

• 1:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 1:54Hannah Berner?

  Because you just brought up you may be having to stop by, do some shopping, because you're in Italy.

• 2:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I never go on my WhatsApp. Like, I forget that I even have it. Like, I don't use it. When I was in Fiji, that's like all they were using it, using. So I like randomly checked it and I have a message from like a number, but it says like Margarita. And I'm like, wait, who is this? And so I click into it and it's like, hi Paige, this is Margarita from Gucci and Capri. Like, just wondering where you are? And I was...

• 2:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never felt more seen.

• 2:27Hannah Berner?

  Those are the only people you want texting you is, what's her name, Margarita?

• 2:31Paige DeSorbo?

  A personal shopper in Italy is the only people that should be contacting my phone.

• 2:37Hannah Berner?

  Also, I downloaded WhatsApp, but I thought I wasn't getting notifications, so I just missed everyone's texts for like a year. And honestly, it was quite nice.

• 2:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Me too.

• 2:48Hannah Berner?

  I thought it was spam. Like when I get an alert, I'd be like, what the fuck is WhatsApp?

• 2:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd be like, gross.

• 2:52Hannah Berner?

  I was like, report, block.

• 2:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, also because it's green. So I was like, ew, get out of here.

• 2:57Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. I'm like, please stop texting this number. I don't want to buy what you're selling.

• 3:05Paige DeSorbo?

  But people in other countries on it, like that's like all they use.

• 3:08Hannah Berner?

  No, Dez loves a WhatsApp. You know he does.

• 3:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:12Hannah Berner?

  Also, I didn't address last time, just to preface. Um, I did get to interview Brad Pitt.

• 3:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. My mom was like really excited.

• 3:21Hannah Berner?

  Your mom was the first one to text me about it. Your mother has never been so excited for anything I've ever done in my life.

• 3:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally was like, oh, I didn't know you were such a Brad Pitt fan. She was like, well, that's very big.

• 3:33Hannah Berner?

  Kim DeSorbo texts me and she goes, zaddy. Not me exposing Kim on the pod, but it really made me laugh.

• 3:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's so funny.

• 3:42Hannah Berner?

  I did get a lot of texts from moms about Brad Pitt. Like all of my friends' moms texted me.

• 3:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:50Hannah Berner?

  But I, I, I guess he's at that point where.

• 3:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I was just gonna say, who is our Brad Pitt?

• 3:58Hannah Berner?

  They don't make them like they used to. They're frail now. They blow away with a little wind.

• 4:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You're, you're so, they're lanky now.

• 4:07Hannah Berner?

  Lanky.

• 4:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Like Jacob, I would say Jacob Elordi.

• 4:10Hannah Berner?

  It's the gluten allergies.

• 4:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. They're lanky.

• 4:14Hannah Berner?

  But Brad, not as tall as I thought.

• 4:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And they never are.

• 4:18Hannah Berner?

  Not as tall as I thought.

• 4:20Paige DeSorbo?

  How tall though?

• 4:22Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna say like five, ten, five, eleven, which is fine.

• 4:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 4:25Hannah Berner?

  Which is fine.

• 4:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Fine.

• 4:26Hannah Berner?

  Sturdy.

• 4:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Fine.

• 4:28Hannah Berner?

  But I actually, I took a beta blocker, obviously. Why did I say beta blocker?

• 4:34Paige DeSorbo?

  You immediately turned into, um, Mikey, Mikey Madison.

• 4:39Hannah Berner?

  I took a beta blocker. Um, I took a beta blocker, so I was feeling myself. This whole thing, they shut down Times Square, which I thought was illegal. They shut down Times Square. One of the blocks was full of race cars. And the other block, they made like a stage and there were like people sitting, you know, they do in Times Square. And they like put me on the stage and I was like, just standing on the stage. But low key, I was like, this is where I belong, just yelling at people in Times Square on a stage. And they were like, you don't have to say anything. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure I'm here to pump up the crowd.

• 5:15Hannah Berner?

  They were like, it's actually a live stream, so you don't really have to pump up the crowd.

• 5:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Why do I envision you being like, okay, and when do I throw the T-shirts? And they're like, no.

• 5:24Hannah Berner?

  I pull out a T-shirt on and I'm, where's Brad? But I'm like standing there and you see the celebrity and then I'm standing on the stage and they have to like walk up to you to get interviewed. So it was like a whole process. And the whole time, like, we didn't know if we were gonna get Brad. It was very, and are we gonna get Brad?

• 5:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Isn't that so interesting, like on red carpets? It's like, we're here for your movie, but we have no idea if you're going to acknowledge us in the moment or not.

• 5:51Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent. But Brad was kissing every baby, shaking every hand. He literally said hi to everyone in Times Square. Finally comes to me and I'm, it went through the beta blocker. My heart started beating through the beta blocker and I was like, oh, fuck, it's Brad Pitt. Cause also they made it this big thing, like at the end, is he gonna, he's the last one.

• 6:15Paige DeSorbo?

  He's an A-list celebrity.

• 6:17Hannah Berner?

  He's larger than life.

• 6:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, here's the other thing also, like you grew up in New York City, but like even, like living in New York City, it's obviously not weird to like see a celebrity on the street. But there are like certain celebrities that if you do see them out in the wild, like you get starstruck. Like I'll never forget the time, the first, like the first time I saw Leonardo DiCaprio. Like my body physically didn't move, like I couldn't move.

• 6:44Hannah Berner?

  You go limp.

• 6:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was like, wait, but that's Leonardo DiCaprio. Like, that's crazy. And that's like, I feel like that's dwindling, like that level of, well, social media changed that.

• 6:57Hannah Berner?

  Look at us just talking about the world and the state it's in in social media, but everyone's famous now.

• 7:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone's famous.

• 7:06Hannah Berner?

  Arguably, people who are less famous are more famous than the famous people.

• 7:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, yes. And do you want to know what? I actually had a thought. I actually.

• 7:18Hannah Berner?

  We never pause when we're talking, so if, when you pause, I know that shit hit. You're like, wait, stop. Everyone, stop.

• 7:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so true, because you know who I think about all the time? Mary-Kate and Ashley. Want to know why? Because we never see them. And I actually had a thought where I was like, maybe in Italy, I'm not going to post anything.

• 7:36Hannah Berner?

  Oh, don't tempt me. Don't tempt me with a good time.

• 7:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, what if I just don't show any of my outfits and I really actually unplug?

• 7:45Hannah Berner?

  I'm on the, in this place with social media where I'm either like, let's go harder, or like, let's completely disappear.

• 7:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm in this place with social media specifically on TikTok where I never, I don't even go to the other tabs. Like, I've, I don't click my activity tab, ever.

• 8:04Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no. I haven't done that since 1994.

• 8:07Paige DeSorbo?

  My activity tab, not for me. If someone else wants to click it, go for it, but it's literally not for me. And so I'm only on my For You page. So if I'm not seeing it on my For You page, like, I, it's, I don't see it.

• 8:19Hannah Berner?

  I've actually never gone to my activities place. Only occasionally it'll be on my phone and it'll be like, so-and-so mentioned you and Paige, and then I feel like it is a giggler. And then I click it, and then I realize that if I don't respond now, I'm never going to see it again. So then I'm responding to people two seconds after they posted a video about us. That's nice. It's a nice video. And then I creep them out, and then they're like, Hannah, get a life, get a job.

• 8:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. People hate to see me in the comments.

• 8:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, sorry for being alive.

• 8:49Hannah Berner?

  You are up in the comments as you, well, you've been very busy. You've been doing a lot of things and it's time for you to be in Italy rehab.

• 8:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't physically know what time zone I'm in. Like my bo- like I.

• 9:05Hannah Berner?

  You're just a girl. It's not your job to understand time, but.

• 9:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't.

• 9:09Hannah Berner?

  You went from sixteen hours like ahead in Fiji, which I didn't know was legal, then back to New York.

• 9:16Paige DeSorbo?

  New York.

• 9:16Hannah Berner?

  Reverse way.

• 9:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Back to New- I landed Saturday night in New York at twelve thirty, got to my apartment at one thirty, took a shower, unpacked all of my bags from Fiji, started looking at my outfits for Italy, was like, I should like get a couple hours of sleep, went to sleep at like three AM, woke up at seven AM, packed all my outfits for Italy until like noon, then left for the airport.

• 9:45Hannah Berner?

  This is my question.

• 9:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:47Hannah Berner?

  Are you happy with how the outfits came up?

• 9:50Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, I'm happier than I thought I was gonna be. When I was like, it on the plane back from Fiji, I was like, what am I even packing for Italy? I have nothing.

• 10:00Hannah Berner?

  I mean, you did have sixteen hours to think about it, but.

• 10:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Then when I got in there and I surveyed what was happening, what was going on. I have a Daphne story, though. So I was gone and I was in Fiji for what, like ten, nine, ten days? And I was just like, obviously just like really missing Daphne. So when I got home, I saw this TikTok earlier that was like, you should tell your pets like what you're doing, like they know. They can understand like when you tell them. So I got in bed and I like pulled Daphne up and I'm like, I'm so sorry that I was gone for ten days. Like I was working, but tomorrow I also have to leave for two weeks, but it's okay because we're gonna sleep together tonight.

• 10:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, I'm not kidding you. It's like she looked at me and was like, okay, got it. Thanks for letting me know. She then slept on my shoulder, which she rarely, rarely does. Like if she does that, it's like. One paws on my shoulder and it's for like five minutes and then she's like had enough. She literally slept on my shoulder, head in my neck for like three hours. I couldn't move. I I was I was gonna pack then and I was like, well, I can't.

• 11:10Hannah Berner?

  Now I'm crying.

• 11:12Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like, it was honestly a spiritual experience.

• 11:15Hannah Berner?

  How did you not put her in a in one of your luggages?

• 11:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I started tearing up. I was like, you understand what I'm saying. And like, I search, I obviously search chat GPTing it and I'm like, Daphne? What does that mean? It was like, she loves you.

• 11:29Hannah Berner?

  She loves you. And also cats do get love starved. Like, you'd been gone and.

• 11:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, I am trying to not use my chat GPT. It's really bad for the environment. Everyone keeps saying it. And I'm like, okay, you know what? Let me lay off for a minute.

• 11:44Hannah Berner?

  Let's all be honest, though. We don't really know how it's connected to the environment, but I believe people. I believe.

• 11:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I believe them.

• 11:51Hannah Berner?

  I believe them, just like I believe them about um, plastic straws. I if Chat GPT is killing a turtle, I'm off.

• 11:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm out. I I was like, I almost told my chat GPT, like, hey, I'm not gonna be around for a little bit.

• 12:04Hannah Berner?

  Have you asked the chat GPT how they're bad for the environment?

• 12:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, but that's, we should. We literally should.

• 12:11Hannah Berner?

  I have to say, look, Google works. Google works.

• 12:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's just go old school and ask Jeeves, you know, like, it'll be fine.

• 12:22Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god. Ask Jeeves. Um, speaking of a throwback.

• 12:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:27Hannah Berner?

  I have a documentary I'm excited to watch.

• 12:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Hmm, which one?

• 12:31Hannah Berner?

  A documentary is coming out about American Apparel and what happened.

• 12:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I saw the a commercial for that.

• 12:38Hannah Berner?

  I want the tea, cuz that that was my shit.

• 12:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, American Apparel, the chokehold that American Apparel had on millennials specifically.

• 12:48Hannah Berner?

  We both definitely went different directions. My favorite shirt from American Apparel, which is so hanakoded. Was a V-neck that was green, but like s- like smoky tie dye green, acid wash green.

• 13:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 13:02Hannah Berner?

  I wore it with my jeans, my like bell bottomy jeans, kind of. And I was obsessed with it. And I wore it with my push-up bra. And I was like, can you be sexier? I don't think it's possible.

• 13:14Paige DeSorbo?

  What year would you say you were peaking at American Apparel?

• 13:19Hannah Berner?

  At high school.

• 13:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, interesting, because.

• 13:23Paige DeSorbo?

  We, I didn't like, we didn't have American apparel. We didn't have any like stores in all the.

• 13:28Hannah Berner?

  I had friends like working in it. Like they were so cool. They like did blowjobs and stuff.

• 13:33Paige DeSorbo?

  So I didn't like.

• 13:34Hannah Berner?

  Not in the store.

• 13:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I, well, HR. I didn't experience it till I moved to New York. So I was like 22, but they had the best going out bodysuits.

• 13:45Hannah Berner?

  Oh my God. I did have this crazy body con dress that was like black on top, red on the bottom. Ath that. Snatch. That was snatched before people even talked about being snatched. American Apparel snatched it up.

• 13:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And what hap- they just like disappeared one day. It was just like one day, all the stores were gone.

• 14:05Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. It's like every billboard just was like burned down. There's definitely like serious drama with it. But they, they did have interesting marketing. Like the girls were like very sensual.

• 14:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:19Hannah Berner?

  And I think they had weird hiring practices, but the girls had a look. They all had like no makeup.

• 14:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:25Hannah Berner?

  Long hair.

• 14:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Very long hair.

• 14:28Hannah Berner?

  Real boobs that were never consistent. So it's like everyone had a different boob shape and they just rocked it.

• 14:36Paige DeSorbo?

  It was very like, it was, I feel like it was very peak like New York City.

• 14:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 14:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, like what?

• 14:45Hannah Berner?

  Dirtbag, but like cute.

• 14:47Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like you either went to Forever 21 or you shopped at American Apparel and it was two diff- very different girls.

• 14:52Hannah Berner?

  And, but American Apparel was expensive. Like I remember it was a, like Forever 21 was cheaper, but American Apparel too, they had like, yeah, it was the, it was the vibe. And it's interesting, like you starting a brand, you think about like how, the brand, it was cultish.

• 15:08Paige DeSorbo?

  It was very culti- yeah, American Apparel was a cult.

• 15:12Hannah Berner?

  So anyway, I can't wait to watch that shit.

• 15:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm excited for that too. Um, speaking of a cult, I.

• 15:19Hannah Berner?

  We are so good at transitions right now.

• 15:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're literally so good.

• 15:22Hannah Berner?

  Killing.

• 15:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I watched. Actually, before I even say this, I watched our new episode of Hannah and Paige Try New Things. This week, honestly, I think is like one of my favorites.

• 15:33Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so I watched the like raw footage. I haven't watched the updated one yet, but I had to make an announcement. This is the week that Paige is so much better than me at one of the activities. Cause everyone's been like, it's just Hannah forcing Paige to do things that Hannah wants to do. I did not want to do this shit. It's aerial yoga.

• 15:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:55Hannah Berner?

  You were incredible.

• 15:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, though, when I watched the footage back, I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

• 16:03Hannah Berner?

  Like when you're dancing drunk?

• 16:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, oh, I thought I looked way better.

• 16:09Hannah Berner?

  You can't tell from it, but she would give us an instruction. You would just do it where I'd be like, like it was like a card game. I'm like, that made no sense. It was also dangerous.

• 16:20Paige DeSorbo?

  It's also funny for like us specifically because like the episodes aren't going, we're not like doing all the episodes in like chronological order. Like we're doing them like as we like, like what we think is like funny to show you guys.

• 16:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Paige DeSorbo?

  So like, I'm trying to like see like where my.

• 16:37Hannah Berner?

  Where your mental state was. So am I. So am I. I was like, ooh, she is.

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, oh, was this had to be early on in the tour? This was, you know, like I actually felt good up this one and it was, I think later in the tour.

• 16:51Hannah Berner?

  Also, I could tell there's some where I'm like, you could tell that I'm like not walking in eggshells around you, but I'm like really trying to make sure you're okay.

• 17:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I'm just like mute.

• 17:03Hannah Berner?

  You were disassociating and I'd be like looking at the camera like, we're going to so and so today. Paige is feeling great, right? We're feeling great, right? We're feeling great. But it is so cool to watch these experience back where I was like, oh, we were so tired and we didn't want to shoot this. And then we did and we had so much fun.

• 17:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:23Hannah Berner?

  And like, I don't regret anything.

• 17:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was so fun. Like now I'm like, I'm not doing a tour unless we do like funny stuff.

• 17:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like.

• 17:32Hannah Berner?

  But this aerial yoga, if you don't know what it is, I mean, I can't even explain it, but you're in, you're up in the air doing stuff.

• 17:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you're in like a, like a circle thing.

• 17:43Hannah Berner?

  And now I know exactly how you felt like when I was in the batting cage and I just like kept hitting balls and I'm like,

• 17:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:48Hannah Berner?

  let's do this all day. Literally five minutes in, I was like, we're still going? Like, how many more?

• 17:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that was, we were there for like forty-five minutes.

• 17:57Hannah Berner?

  I bet you were just like, yeah, and cross this leg around this arm and then backwards and up and extend. Um, but it was, it was beautifully done.

• 18:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was, it was so much fun. Our instructor was very patient with us and um, we appreciated that. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a license provider who will determine if treatment is right for you.

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• 19:26Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated.

• 19:35Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 19:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine and it really does. Give T Light Pearl Shine.

• 19:43Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 19:44Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sunny.

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  Honey, and mine's black.

• 19:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 19:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, cuz you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 20:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 20:01Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit. But also, I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 20:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 20:12Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 20:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 20:14Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the Giggler's a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like, you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 20:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is very important, because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no. And I love that it has these things for your hands, because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 20:35Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit Columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 20:45Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnosis, and ongoing medical management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care.

• 21:27Paige DeSorbo?

  All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to Talkiatry.com/Giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/Giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com. Everyone knows this is a sports podcast, but it's also a mental health podcast. And if there's one thing you need to know about mental health, it's that everything is connected to your gut microbiome. Things like your immunity and of course, your digestion. If you're in the market for digestive support, which aren't we always, Ritual has your back, or rather, your biome.

• 22:12Paige DeSorbo?

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• 22:54Paige DeSorbo?

  When you take it consistently, not only are you going consistently, but you can definitely feel the connection between your gut and your mental health. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get early access to Ritual's Black Friday sale for 40% off your first order when you visit ritual.com/giggly. That's ritual.com/giggly for 40% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 23:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, okay, back to my cults.

• 23:28Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you watch the first season of The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders? Did you ever end up watching that first season? No, you didn't.

• 23:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so the second season came out. Just so many thoughts. Did you ever watch it when it was on CMT, like, years ago? It was a different name.

• 23:48Hannah Berner?

  It was just so not up my alley. And I always got, I always felt like bad for them. And I felt like they were over-sexualized, and I just didn't like it.

• 23:58Paige DeSorbo?

  The show that used to be on television, I can't even think what year that had to have. I mean, that had to have been like 2005, or like, in that time range? Like, early 2000s. It was diabolical, never be able to be on TV today. Like, they had to get canceled immediately.

• 24:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 24:16Paige DeSorbo?

  So the documentary is a little bit different, but...

• 24:20Paige DeSorbo?

  There's still women of a certain age in the South, so like they're still, they're still saying things without saying them. Like they've changed, they've changed from calling a girl fat to just being like, and she's full of life.

• 24:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, I think we know what you, what you mean here. Like, this is a for sure an HR violation. Like it's, she's like, they're, they're like, she's just not-

• 24:48Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can we all, next time you wanna say you feel fat, can you just say, "I feel full of life today."

• 24:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel chock full of life.

• 24:56Hannah Berner?

  God bless her, she is full up life.

• 25:00Paige DeSorbo?

  So, I'm watching, there's like eight episodes probably. This season was like by far not even close to as good as like the first season was.

• 25:07Hannah Berner?

  Well, cuz the girls are getting paid now.

• 25:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, they didn't, okay, well, they didn't get paid, that's the whole lore. They didn't get that payment change till like after they were done filming. So there's like a group of maybe like five girls that are like, "Hey, we're gonna ask the Dallas Cowboys for more money." The Dallas Cowboys are like one of the most successful franchises in all of the NFL. Like if any team has the money to pay these girls, it's the Dallas Cowboys.

• 25:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, a guy sitting on the bench is getting paid 20 million dollars.

• 25:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 25:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna do a bunch of spoilers. This group of girls, like five of them, are really fighting for the girls to get paid more. One girl who's basically at like the forefront of it, her name, what was her name? Amanda, I wanna say. She's fighting for it. Then the two coaches, which I will get into them, have this conversation with her, gaslight the fuck out of her because they stopped booking her because the, girls go on different like appearances and the whole 36 teammates don't all go to every appearance. So they'll pick like 10 to go perform somewhere and like another 10. She stopped like getting booked for like the appearances. And so she goes in to talk to them, like, "Is this because I'm fighting

• 26:27Paige DeSorbo?

  for like the girls to have more money?" And mind you, it's her last year. So like she doesn't actually have to be fighting for this. And she says that like, I know this isn't going to affect me.

• 26:37Hannah Berner?

  Future of these women and their lives.

• 26:40Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, but I know this is going to affect the girls younger than me. And the girls younger than her don't want to fight because they're like, we just made the team. Like, we're not trying to fuck it up.

• 26:47Hannah Berner?

  Scared.

• 26:48Paige DeSorbo?

  They basically phased this girl out of the show. Her, the other girls that were like fighting with her kind of like go silent and she's like.

• 26:56Hannah Berner?

  Them fighting for more pay a storyline?

• 26:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Kind of, yeah. But the two coaches aren't involved. Like they don't go to the coaches first. They go to like the board of whatever. And basically the board is like, fuck you guys. Like, you don't like it, like leave. You don't want, like, you don't care about the pay, like, go.

• 27:16Hannah Berner?

  Tons of women that would love to be right in your spot shaking their little tails.

• 27:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And it's like, okay, well, that doesn't make it correct. Because mind you, the Rockettes. A normal living wage. They have benefits, I think. Like, they're like, they're treated as professional dancers. So like, they do compare it to the Rockettes a lot.

• 27:38Hannah Berner?

  And these girls are as talented.

• 27:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, no. Yeah, these girl, like, I think Dow's Cowboy, I think they get kind of like a bad not, I don't even want to say a bad rep because they're called cheerleaders. These are professional dancers, like.

• 27:52Hannah Berner?

  Professional dancers, yeah.

• 27:53Paige DeSorbo?

  They're not cheerleaders in the sense of like, they're throwing stunts up in the air and going to cheer competitions. Like, they're professional dancers.

• 28:00Hannah Berner?

  Can I just say what we're all thinking? The reason why I don't like cheerleading is because of the core root of it, which is that it's a bunch of women rooting for men.

• 28:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, first of all, as a cheerleader, as a former.

• 28:15Hannah Berner?

  You're literally giving them the attention and cheering them on. Like, that's your purpose. I can't support that.

• 28:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Captain of the varsity cheerleading squad. I resent that issue. I resent it whole art. No, okay, yes, that's the core of it, but like. Okay, perfect example is like when I was in high school, I am exactly what you were describing. I joined the cheerleading team because I knew that Fridays you got out of school early and you went and you had dinner at the boys' school. And all I wanted to do was show up in my school uniform to the boys' school and look at them like during dinner and like.

• 28:52Hannah Berner?

  It's literally so male gaze.

• 28:54Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so male gaze.

• 28:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was.

• 28:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I was so boy crazy. Did I give a fuck about like cheerleading? Not really. But then once I was like on the team, yeah, then you have that like team camaraderie and like.

• 29:09Hannah Berner?

  Also, girls are like breaking legs and shit. Like, it's kind of crazy, right?

• 29:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, the stunts are actually, like, I have been dropped on my head so many fucking times.

• 29:17Hannah Berner?

  We can tell.

• 29:19Paige DeSorbo?

  But I had girls on my team specifically that like cheerleading was their life. Like, they were on all-star teams and all they did was compete.

• 29:29Hannah Berner?

  See, the ESPN competitions I fuck with, like, that was insane. I loved it.

• 29:34Paige DeSorbo?

  But they're not cheering for men anywhere. They're just competing against each other. So like, and some of the things these cheerleaders do, like, it's insane. Like, they're gymnasts. They're gymnasts and they're dancers. They're triple threats. Like, I watch the cheerleading competitions on TikTok all the time because they're just so good. Anyway. I forget what my original thought was, but because you just like.

• 29:56Hannah Berner?

  You got really mad. You got really mad because I came for all that you stand for.

• 30:01Paige DeSorbo?

  My one organized sport and you're like, it's a joke. And I'm like, but we're, we wear eyeshadow.

• 30:05Hannah Berner?

  I like when it's organized. I don't like when they're like, and you girls are just gonna tell the men that they're gonna do well tonight. And even when they're losing, you believe in them. No, I think the cheerleaders should leave if the guys are doing bad. They're like, I don't get paid enough for this.

• 30:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, no one, like, when you're at cheerleading practice, no one's talking about the guys. It's your practicing.

• 30:27Hannah Berner?

  It's your show.

• 30:29Paige DeSorbo?

  You're practicing because then you're gonna perform at halftime, but that performance is what you're going to competitions with. So you're really just practicing what you're gonna go to competition with.

• 30:39Hannah Berner?

  Got it. What if it was cheerleaders performing and men playing catch on the sides?

• 30:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that they, at cheer competitions, men should be going and cheering them on. Like, it's cutthroat.

• 30:52Hannah Berner?

  The football team should cheer on the cheerleading team.

• 30:54Paige DeSorbo?

  They absolutely should.

• 30:56Hannah Berner?

  I liked the cheerleaders because they would train with the mascots in college, so we would all hang out. But um, they were all so talented, but they were, look, it was a different breed in Wisconsin. These girls were cold. These were not Dallas, these were not the Florida girls. These girls, I hate to say it, they were pale. They were pale and they were freezing their

• 31:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Hannah, when I was in high school, there was like a cheerleader magazine that I subscribed to.

• 31:23Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god.

• 31:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Like when you would go to cheerleading camp, it was, like, we would go to cheerleading camp, and then it would be all the surrounding schools cheerleading teams. And so then you would like compete at cheerleading camp. It was, cheerleading camp was like some of the best moments of my life.

• 31:42Hannah Berner?

  But we talked about when I went to one of my high schools, the cheerleading team was like cool, but like, if you gave a good blowjob, you were on the dance team.

• 31:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:54Hannah Berner?

  When the dance girls came out, I was like, they're 24 years old.

• 31:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause the dance team had swag.

• 32:01Hannah Berner?

  Cause the dance team, I will never forget, these, I was like a freshman, these girls came out, they're wearing their like folded over yoga pants, you know, and like tiny low shirts, and Sierra, my goodies comes on, and I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.

• 32:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it was the first time you were introduced to like, that slutty, like that, am I allowed to pop that thing like that?

• 32:27Hannah Berner?

  And all their hair was so straight, like everyone here was straightened with the little bang. Oh, what, who knew it was a time to be alive?

• 32:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, cheerleading is really like, it's a lost art. Um, but anyway,

• 32:38Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 32:39Paige DeSorbo?

  DCC is like, so it's their second season now, and the two coaches, I forget honestly what their names even are. It's like, one is like the choreographer. They've all, they've both been there for like a thousand years.

• 32:53Hannah Berner?

  Can I guess their names? Sherri Anne?

• 32:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, yeah, I think so.

• 32:58Hannah Berner?

  And Lisa.

• 33:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Like literally, yes.

• 33:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing about these women. And like, they do seem like, fine in, like, if you were to meet them, I don't think they'd like, beat you over the head. Like, I think they'd be very cordial.

• 33:15Hannah Berner?

  But like, they would be annoying in a grocery line.

• 33:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, this type of woman actually scares the shit out of me and I, and like, I'm not trying to come for the South whatsoever, but I feel like I have been around this type of woman before. And it's, and it's like, they're so nice to you when you're talking to them.

• 33:34Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 33:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And then you leave the room and you're like, "I think they just insulted my entire existence."

• 33:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 33:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, and I didn't even realize it in that conversation.

• 33:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 33:46Paige DeSorbo?

  One of the girls that they like, didn't let make the team, they knew her mom for like, forty years. Like, she worked with them every day. And then like, when they cut her daughter, they just like, never spoke to this woman again. Like, they, they were like, basically the woman was like, "Yeah, I mean, she was like, in my wedding, so, but I can't like, put her daughter on the team." And it's like, okay, yeah, she's not gonna like, take a spot from someone who's more qualified.

• 34:12Hannah Berner?

  But I would argue that aren't a lot of the girls super qualified and it comes down to some like, subjective opinions?

• 34:18Paige DeSorbo?

  They're all extremely qualified.

• 34:20Hannah Berner?

  And she'll be like, "I don't like how her toe didn't point."

• 34:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, the way they like, act like, this is the best thing these women are ever going to do in their lives, is like, really uncomfortable, especially when all these girls are like, "I work four jobs, and then I go to, like, go to practice."

• 34:42Hannah Berner?

  Also, let's be honest, it's like, this experience we're all watching them do on TV right now, they're gonna talk about in therapy for the rest of their life.

• 34:49Paige DeSorbo?

  For the rest of their life.

• 34:50Hannah Berner?

  Is it important in that way? Yes, you're traumatizing her.

• 34:54Paige DeSorbo?

  But then, this season, you saw a lot more of like, the, the girls' husbands and boyfriends.

• 35:00Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 35:01Paige DeSorbo?

  And let me just tell you, it was jarring. It was so jarring, because not only are these women some of the most beautiful women like, you'll ever see in your life, but they're talented, they're dancer, like, they're hustlers, they're working a thousand jobs, they're trying to make ends meet. And then these men pop up on the screen and you're like,

• 35:20Hannah Berner?

  And then they're speech.

• 35:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sorry, is this a? I'm sorry, does is something wrong? Like, are you doing a chair? Like, what's going on?

• 35:27Hannah Berner?

  I don't mean to stereotype, but it is proven that like in the South, people do settle down earlier. So sometimes I'll see a guy and be like, how the fuck did he get her? And I'm like, wait, was he in his prime in college?

• 35:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they scared them. They scared them into it. They scared them into it.

• 35:45Hannah Berner?

  You have five minutes.

• 35:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you you literally have five minutes. And so one of the part, one of the things one of the girl said was she was like, I feel bad for my other teammates because they're trying to like live off of this money. And she was like, but I have a husband. And so in my head, I'm just like, wait, guys, like you're stressing me out. I was getting so stressed watching it because I was like, how are they handling all of it? And then not only do they have to show up and wear the teeniest, tiniest outfits, like they have to be perfect at everything or they get like the one girl broke a rule. And the rule was she let a man into her hotel room. And I'm like, guys,

• 36:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought you were gonna come out and say she drugged everyone. I don't know why I went there. Like she like, they're on vacation. She like got drugs and made everyone do it. I was like, okay, maybe like not the best thing.

• 36:40Hannah Berner?

  Ketamine.

• 36:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, not the best thing to do. But again, you're in the Bahamas.

• 36:45Hannah Berner?

  Look, she needed a release. She's stressed.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  But then they were like, and she let a man into the room. And I'm like,

• 36:50Hannah Berner?

  Also, who snitched on her? That's not cool.

• 36:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, okay, like, it's just very, it's just, I think also, I think I have like PTSD because I feel like being from the Northeast, women get such a like rep of like, you're cold, you're harsh, you're mean. Where like the South, it's like, they're so nice. They're so like, whatever. And it's like,

• 37:15Paige DeSorbo?

  But not even, like, no, it's just not.

• 37:17Hannah Berner?

  There's assholes everywhere you go, is what I like to say. There's assholes everywhere and some of them are in sheep's clothing.

• 37:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It's crazy, but I just feel like in the Northeast, it's like, if you don't like someone, that person knows you don't like them. Where down there, it's like, you could think that's your best friend and they fucking hate you. Like, that's the difference.

• 37:36Hannah Berner?

  That's so scary. But it is like a different language that like they can read where like other people can't. It also is so interesting, people being like good at things.

• 37:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:47Hannah Berner?

  Like, I would be so bad at being a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.

• 37:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd be so bad at it.

• 37:53Hannah Berner?

  I definitely wasn't asked, but I, I'd be so bad for so many reasons. Like, when I was on the tennis team, I would get in trouble because they would tell us like what we had to wear for every practice and every competition. As a part of now, I see it's like a team thing, where with me, I was like, "It's a miracle I made it here on time. You also want me to be wearing the red and the black shorts." Like, I still have nightwears, and there's a photo that's really funny, one of our first competitions. Everyone's wearing their red tracksuit and I'm in my gray sweat tracksuit. And for sure got in trouble, had to wake up at 7 a.m. and like do the bike for it. But like in my head, like I couldn't grasp why the coach was so frustrated about that. I'm like, I won.

• 38:34Hannah Berner?

  Like, why are you mad? I wanted, sorry, I don't like how the tag on the red sweatsuit feels on me. I'm wearing the gray.

• 38:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I think one of the reasons that we're best friends and because there's so many things where we're like, we have different interests or things we like, but like our core values, like, you can't tell us what to do, where we physically, we physically combust. Like, we're like, "Oh, the red, you want me to wear the red? Perfect, I'll be in the blue."

• 39:02Hannah Berner?

  That's like where we bond. This is how we bond. I'll text you during the day and be like, "Can we not do this the way they want us to do it?" And you go, "Absa-fucking-lutely not," and then I'm like at peace with myself.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because sometimes also, and this is just a reminder for the girls, sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we are the adults also.

• 39:19Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 39:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, and we can say no, and we don't have to listen to, like, you don't have to listen to everything people tell you to do.

• 39:27Hannah Berner?

  As Michelle Obama said, "No" was a full sentence. And also, what I've learned from being around Paige, from following Paige around, is that people actually like respect.

• 39:38Hannah Berner?

  The person more who has boundaries cuz we'll be in a place I've seen before where like I'm like sucking up like being over the top like trying to like be nice to someone.

• 39:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I know exactly the time you're talking about.

• 39:49Hannah Berner?

  I don't this I couldn't even put I figure this is how we are and Paige will just be very like to the point and matter of fact and I could see that they like want Paige's attention more than mine when I'm like I've been fucking listening to all your stories all day and that kind of thing.

• 40:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:06Hannah Berner?

  But it's it's just unnecessary effort.

• 40:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because also I think another thing that we're similar, we don't care who you are or what you've done. We don't care like.

• 40:19Hannah Berner?

  We don't care. I just don't want you to like me.

• 40:20Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not that it doesn't impress us.

• 40:24Hannah Berner?

  No, we're not impressed. We don't care about the superficial things. We like people who are funny.

• 40:29Paige DeSorbo?

  What you've accomplished has nothing to do with me and also like I'm not I'm not sucking up to you because you what you own where we're standing. I don't care.

• 40:40Hannah Berner?

  I don't give a fuck.

• 40:41Paige DeSorbo?

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• 41:25Paige DeSorbo?

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• 42:05Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 42:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine, and it really does give tea light pearl shine.

• 42:21Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 42:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It's sunny.

• 42:23Hannah Berner?

  Honey, and mine's black.

• 42:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, OK, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 42:39Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 42:39Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit. But also, I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 42:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 42:50Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced. And we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like, you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 43:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is very important, because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no. And I love that it has these things for your hands, because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 43:13Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 43:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

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• 44:09Speaker 06

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• 44:23Hannah Berner?

  So you know what's real, what's hype and what you should probably install on your phone. Listen to Machine Gods from NPR on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 44:36Hannah Berner?

  I wanted to tell you, this is why I've been stressed. Yesterday, we had a very different day. Paige was flying to Italy.

• 44:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:43Hannah Berner?

  And I was getting driven to Riverhead to take a driver's lesson.

• 44:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 44:48Hannah Berner?

  With-

• 44:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been waiting to hear how this went.

• 44:51Hannah Berner?

  Shout out Greg. Poor Greg. He's about to retire and he's one step out the door from his 25 years of teaching.

• 44:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that's a requirement as a driver ed teacher. You have to be on death's door.

• 45:04Hannah Berner?

  He's on death's door. And he's still, he was this former cop and he walks in, he's like, I'm about to retire. I go, I'm your last, I'm your last lesson. Okay. Like I'm, I am the last challenger.

• 45:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm your final marble stone.

• 45:17Hannah Berner?

  Literally. I'm like, if you can get me to pass my road test, like you can do anything in this life.

• 45:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Monuments will be erected in your honor, sir. Okay. There's a whole group of girls rooting for you.

• 45:28Hannah Berner?

  And I don't know what it was, I swear to God, when Dez was driving me to this lesson, I became a teenager again. Like immediately, I was like, I don't want to do this. I was like, I don't want to do this. And he's like, you have to get your fucking license. And I was like, he, he's gonna be disappointed, I'm gonna mess it up. Everyone's gonna be mad at me. I don't even need it.

• 45:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Were you in, were you in a driver ed car where like he also has a steering wheel?

• 45:53Hannah Berner?

  Yes, but first Dez was driving me and look, it was also confusing because Dez in England, in England and Ireland, apparently they like turn differently, whatever. Long story short, it's fucking confusing. But Greg was so peaceful and calm, understanding.

• 46:11Paige DeSorbo?

  In Ireland or are they driving on the other side of the road?

• 46:13Hannah Berner?

  They drive on the other side. And also, he told me that like, you're not supposed to cross your hands when turning. You're supposed to feed.

• 46:21Paige DeSorbo?

  You're not supposed to over steer can get you in a bad accident.

• 46:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but then this guy was like, you're allowed to cross your hands, just like the right way. So I'm dealing with, I'm learning a lot right now, but Greg was really calm and he was like, so what's your story?

• 46:38Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, we don't have time. We don't have time, Greg.

• 46:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Greg, let's focus at the task.

• 46:42Hannah Berner?

  Greg, we don't have time for this shit.

• 46:45Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, actually, I have a new hour. If you could just stay for one minute, let me try this out on you.

• 46:50Hannah Berner?

  I actually have some new jokes that I'm working on, um, I want to test with you, but I, I realized that my learner's permit.

• 46:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Expired?

• 46:58Hannah Berner?

  Expires in August, so we are in the trenches right now. No pressure.

• 47:05Paige DeSorbo?

  You've literally put your relaxing summer in a time crunch. So what, you have to schedule your road test before your permit expires?

• 47:12Hannah Berner?

  I scheduled, I, first of all, I also want to apologize to the academy for anyone I'm stressing out with this right now, because Giggly Squad's supposed to be so peaceful, but like, I have to trauma dump on you guys right now.

• 47:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, this is my therapy. Go. Get it out. Put it in the book, honey.

• 47:25Hannah Berner?

  I took out, I had to take a five hour driving class online. I did that the other day also. Don't be jealous.

• 47:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 47:35Hannah Berner?

  And if I don't pass the test by August, then I have to like restart everything. Restart everything.

• 47:44Paige DeSorbo?

  So Hannah coded.

• 47:45Hannah Berner?

  I'm so, I'm literally so scared. And then I go to do a te- to set up my road test, and it turns out every kid in the summer is trying to get their road test. I have to drive to Westchester to do it.

• 48:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 48:01Hannah Berner?

  But then someone said to keep checking. Long story short, like, I'm s- I'm so upset and stressed, but now I'm trying to have a different approach. I'm like, let's.

• 48:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, and what was your experience in the driver ed car? Like, how did you, how did you feel?

• 48:18Hannah Berner?

  Well, honestly, Greg just had, honestly, he was awesome. Like, I love Greg, and he made me feel calm, but it was kind of nerve wracking because he kept asking me questions, and you could tell, he couldn't tell yet if I was gonna be good or bad, and like, neither could I. I'll tell you that right now. And then he was like, okay, it's your turn. And like, I honestly am getting like, anxiety that I'd have like, in my teens.

• 48:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:40Hannah Berner?

  Where you're like, I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm scared. And I'm like, being forced to do this in a way.

• 48:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me give, let me give you some encouragement. As someone who also took driver's ed in high school, um, it was honestly one of the best experiences, because in high school, we would do it like after school, and it'd be like four girls in one car, so like, it would kind of be funny.

• 49:00Hannah Berner?

  Dangerous, but.

• 49:01Paige DeSorbo?

  So dangerous. I was.

• 49:03Hannah Berner?

  They're like, we're singing, we're smoking weed. Crossroads.

• 49:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Lady Gaga had just like come out with an album. I'm like, what are we to do?

• 49:12Hannah Berner?

  Run, Chip.

• 49:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I was by far the worst in my car. Like, like every time I got in the driver's seat, like my driver ed teacher was like, I just need to let you know, you will not pass. You're not passing your road test. And I would just like, I took that as a suggestion. Okay, again, I was like-

• 49:33Hannah Berner?

  You love that. You were like, to my haters who don't believe in me.

• 49:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally, I was like, okay, first of all, I don't work for you. Second of all-

• 49:40Hannah Berner?

  You're just pouring gasoline and I'm about to light shit up.

• 49:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, you've never seen my charm in action. And I did pass my road test when he said I wasn't going to. So I truly think it depends on where you take your road test. Have you looked, because the kids talk. Have you looked online, like, is Westchester hard?

• 50:00Hannah Berner?

  I searched Reddit and they said Riverhead is one of the easiest ones. And I failed Riverhead. So that, we're starting, who knows where to begin? Did I, did I already make an announcement on the pod saying I don't want to do anything illegal, but if there is a giggler who happens to be

• 50:13Paige DeSorbo?

  To work at a D A.

• 50:14Hannah Berner?

  That would be really just convenient. Nothing illegal, but like, can I talk to you for a sec? I also, I passed my road test once, but I shouldn't have passed it because she was like, okay, park. And to finish the road test and I ran the curb, but she already like printed out the receipt that I passed and she was like, Jesus Christ. And my dad was like, you shouldn't pass.

• 50:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, hitting the curb, I think is an automatic fail.

• 50:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. No, like I shouldn't have passed it so I had no confidence. But also I didn't have driver's ed because I'm a city freak. So no one knows how to drive. But anyway, I'm fully committing. I'm putting this out there into the universe of giggly squad so that like you guys could send me any guidance for like how to parallel park or something.

• 50:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Dare, dare we ask like the exact date or like would that stress you out too much? Or like, should we be manifesting for this like specific date?

• 51:05Hannah Berner?

  True. I love how you're like, we can get a lot of power and a lot of gigglers.

• 51:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we, the floor is yours. The girls are listening.

• 51:12Hannah Berner?

  The girls are listening. Let's go.

• 51:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's combine our powers with some good. Yeah.

• 51:16Hannah Berner?

  I might, I'm trying to find an earlier date, but right now it's in July, so it might change, but I'll keep you guys posted. But also, I'm now committed now to be a student of the game. Like, this isn't about winning or losing, this is about the process, this is about the journey, and I want to be one with the car. I'm looking at it in a completed perspective, I'm not here to win, I'm here to, to-

• 51:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Let the car guide you. Yep.

• 51:41Hannah Berner?

  Yes, let the car guide me through life, and I have no fear, and I love driving.

• 51:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I ask, what is your least favorite thing that you're trying to like, master? And what is the thing that you're like, I got, I can do this one?

• 51:55Hannah Berner?

  To be honest, like, I like driving, I don't like the idea of sitting down and a person watching you and grading you, and I low-key feel like is rooting against me.

• 52:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:06Hannah Berner?

  Like, I feel like they don't want me to succeed in life, and I'm like, and they, they love that power.

• 52:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, they, there's a lot of power in their position.

• 52:14Hannah Berner?

  So, so much fucking power, and also, like, let's be honest, I'm a woman. I'm a woman who can't drive.

• 52:19Paige DeSorbo?

  They're literally club bouncers of the government, you know? Like, it's like, okay dude, you could be fired at any time, but also, like, you do hold a lot of power in this exact moment.

• 52:28Hannah Berner?

  Is their job important? A thousand percent.

• 52:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 52:30Hannah Berner?

  And should I be on the road? Absolutely not. But I'm actually training, I love, I'm talking about training, like, I saw Coco Goff wrote, I'm gonna win, I will win the French Open, like, 500 times in her notebook, so I'm gonna write, I will pass my road test. Cause it's like, the same thing, I'm gonna write it like a hundred times.

• 52:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Cheerleading camp and road test this episode is just like, it's, I'm loving it.

• 52:54Hannah Berner?

  But I also feel like, it explains, I don't like following the rules, so a road test is literally, can you follow every rule? And every cell inside me wants to be like, eh, like, like, just turn, like, one of the roads-

• 53:07Paige DeSorbo?

  How are your three-point turns?

• 53:09Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, they're fine. It's just, I don't know, like, should I be going faster? Should I be going slower? Like, I just feel like I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anyone.

• 53:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you, are you parallel parking?

• 53:20Hannah Berner?

  I parallel parked today, but whenever I do it, I feel like it's luck.

• 53:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:24Hannah Berner?

  Like, I feel like-

• 53:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm gonna be, I haven't parallel parked since my road test.

• 53:28Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 53:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't, if someone told me to parallel park right now, I wouldn't go.

• 53:31Hannah Berner?

  Wait, side note, um, one summer house memory, I do have to say, was early on, our first season. I remember, like, everyone else was, like, getting into, like, storylines and fights, and, like, I had nothing going on. And then someone, you know what I'm gonna say?

• 53:50Hannah Berner?

  I don't even remember who it was, but someone was like-

• 53:53Paige DeSorbo?

  It was Jordan. It was Jordan. It was Jordan.

• 53:55Hannah Berner?

  But other people were, like, having his back at first, and he was like, "Side note, fucking Hannah never drives. Every weekend, everyone drives but Hannah." And I start looking around, and someone else is like, "Actually, yeah, you never fucking drive." And I go, "I don't even have my license." And they're like, "Still, it's not fair. You don't drive." And I remember you jumped in and you were like, "Do you all wanna die?"

• 54:23Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a perfect example of how things went so Hannah-coded or so page-coded, because in this exact, I remember this, like, it was literally yesterday, in this exact fight, everyone's attacking you for never having driven to the Hamptons any weekend of the summer. And I'm like, "First of all, she's incompetent. She doesn't have a license. Second of all, I had also never driven a weekend, and no one picked up on it."

• 54:48Hannah Berner?

  And you fully have a license.

• 54:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a license at that point for almost fifteen years, and I never drove.

• 54:56Hannah Berner?

  I remember having to defend myself for not driving, when I didn't have a driver's license, a four-hour drive to the Hamptons through highways.

• 55:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I'm, I'm gonna be honest, the only man that I ever listened to is my father. And when he heard that I was going to have to drive to the Hamptons every weekend, he said, "I don't give a fuck. You are not driving on the LIE at rush hour on a Friday. I don't care if you're a good driver. I know you're not. You're not do, like, you'll kill everyone in the car, including yourself."

• 55:29Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I care about safety.

• 55:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And he was a hundred percent right, actually. I actually can't believe legally that that's even allowed.

• 55:39Hannah Berner?

  Driving out to the Hamptons was so stressful because you were thinking about like, okay, what happened this last weekend? What am I gonna say? Like, it was, it was like a scary mental thing. And traffic isn't good for your mental health.

• 55:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, the Long Island Expressway is like literally one of the most dangerous fucking highways, I feel like, in the country. It's like four, it's four lanes, it's, it goes fast as fuck. Like, if you're not alert driving to the Hamptons, you're getting in an accident. Like, you have to fully be present when you're driving.

• 56:08Hannah Berner?

  Also, the cars we were driving were huge and I don't know a lot about driving, but it's like, unless you have a trucker's license, I don't feel like you'll be that comfortable.

• 56:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I was, it took me years to be, to be like, okay, I'll drive because I was so scared.

• 56:21Hannah Berner?

  Side note, I'm drinking my Dunkin' Ice refresher and I just have to say, I nailed it with the flavor.

• 56:27Paige DeSorbo?

  What, yeah, what one is that?

• 56:28Hannah Berner?

  Mango pineapple lemonade, that's the one. I've been sipping it the whole time.

• 56:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I need to get that. I love anything like mixed with a lemonade.

• 56:36Hannah Berner?

  Can I add one other, other thing to the docket?

• 56:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:39Hannah Berner?

  Why is the most organized our society has ever been? When there's a lookalike contest in New York City?

• 56:49Paige DeSorbo?

  When and why did this take off?

• 56:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And also, should we do one at the next Giggly Squad Live?

• 56:59Hannah Berner?

  I love it, but I just don't understand that New York.

• 57:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, why is it all men?

• 57:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Are they trying to cure the male loneliness epidemic with each other? Because like, yeah, we're trying to put, we are trying to push you guys for each other.

• 57:13Hannah Berner?

  The last time a girl said she looked like Megan Fox, she was stoned.

• 57:25Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that poor woman was shredded.

• 57:27Hannah Berner?

  Lookalike, girls are like, I'll pass, I'll pass on this. I'm blonde, but I'll pass.

• 57:34Hannah Berner?

  No, that's-

• 57:35Paige DeSorbo?

  People are-

• 57:36Hannah Berner?

  You just like hit something about our society though. You can't do it with the girls because people would be so mean to the women. They'd be like,

• 57:43Paige DeSorbo?

  "Really? You think you look like her?" Could you imagine someone hosting like a Sabrina Carpenter lookalike contest? They'd be annihilated.

• 57:53Hannah Berner?

  They also would be so tiny. For this lookalike stuff, it's chaos in this world.

• 57:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:00Hannah Berner?

  You can't, you can't even do it. When they organize a lookalike contest, everyone is calm and there's a system and there's a ranking and there's voting. There's no fraud, there's no fake news. It's just, this is the lookalike contest.

• 58:14Paige DeSorbo?

  They follow the rules.

• 58:15Hannah Berner?

  They follow the rules. They always pick the right person. There's, there's no politics, no bias.

• 58:20Paige DeSorbo?

  If anyone ever comments on any of my Instagram pictures like, "Oh my God, you look like so and so." There's always a comment underneath from a woman that's like, "Don't ever insult Audrey Hepburn who is class and elegant with this piece of literal tr-" I'm like, whoa. Wait, actually, you know what? I get tagged in a lot and people are like, "I thought this was you." Which is so on theme for this episode. A lot of dance videos. Like there, I think there is this one dancer that looks identical to me. And she's phenomenal. And I'm like, I, every time I wa- I'm like, I wish this was me. And which brings me actually to my next point. I think for one of the things for like, now I'm like brainstorming for Hannah and Paige trying new things next year,

• 59:03Paige DeSorbo?

  or whenever we do it, I think that we should learn a, like a legitimate dance routine.

• 59:10Hannah Berner?

  And do it on stage?

• 59:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 59:13Hannah Berner?

  Why would you learn it?

• 59:15Paige DeSorbo?

  For the satisfaction of learning it and recording it.

• 59:18Hannah Berner?

  Oh babe, I do it to perform.

• 59:23Hannah Berner?

  When we first started, I was like, should we do a dance at the end? And you were like, "Never fucking bring that up again. I swear to God." And I never have.

• 59:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm never going out on, if you've never been to Giggly Squad Live, you should come because it's such a vibe. But just know this, I will never sing, dance.

• 59:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Or do anything theatrical.

• 59:42Hannah Berner?

  That's what you say, but also you said you would never get a cat and look where you are now.

• 59:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, you started this episode with my boundaries and how proud you were of me. So let me have my boundaries.

• 59:55Hannah Berner?

  One thing about dancers, though.

• 59:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:58Hannah Berner?

  I like, I'm currently obsessed with finding like a dancer that's on Broadway, who's like really beautiful and talented. And then like clicking on their profile and I've done like, I'm like.

• 1:00:10Paige DeSorbo?

  You're obsessed with Broadway right now.

• 1:00:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with Broadway, but also like, just, I wanted to be a hip hop dancer in another life. Like you know the girls who have, who do the hip hop dances, like there's nothing cooler than that.

• 1:00:21Paige DeSorbo?

  It's all I watch on TikTok. Yeah.

• 1:00:23Hannah Berner?

  These people are so cool. They all have like no followers, but like they're more talented than everyone. And then they're all like friends with the coolest people, like all these hot dancers hang out with each other. And they're like, oh, like I'm going to dance like for the weekend, um, touring with the weekend this weekend. And then I'm with Lady Gaga next weekend and then I'm on this Broadway show this weekend and they're just like hot.

• 1:00:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Professional dancers are no fucking joke and they get zero respect.

• 1:00:49Hannah Berner?

  But I'm scrolling through and like their lives seem like really cool.

• 1:00:53Paige DeSorbo?

  For how much I rag on Broadway, just because like I, it's not like my most favorite form of entertainment. It's Broadway performers and comedians, I feel like are very similar in terms of they do so many jobs on stage and they get zero accolades whatsoever. Like the fact that there's like Emmys and like standup comedy isn't in it. And obviously like they have the Tony Awards, but like to be a Broadway performer, you're singing, you're dancing, you're acting, you're memorizing, like if you're acting in a movie and you forget the lines, there's someone there giving you the lines. You're on Broadway, you forget the line, you're fucked.

• 1:01:35Hannah Berner?

  Like, you know, you know what's impressive about these dancers too is like, they don't, yeah, they don't get any accolades. They're not the star. Their job is to be in the background and they're not getting paid a lot. And I'm like. I respect that.

• 1:01:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, that's why like watching the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, you're like, wait. You guys are putting so much pressure on these girls and you're also considering it a hobby. Like if you want to put this much pressure and be this big of a

• 1:02:00Hannah Berner?

  Show me the money.

• 1:02:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Fucking bitch to these literal nineteen, twenty-two-year-old girls. Like, pay them more than seventy-five dollars a week, you freaks.

• 1:02:11Hannah Berner?

  I do, I do have to say, big picture, now that I'm getting older and I'm looking back on like, obviously, when you're in jobs, when you're young and you want to prove yourself. But there's a point with like corporate America where they're just like banking on who is gonna overwork. And they give you more work and they don't like give you raises.

• 1:02:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I think Gen Z, I think we were kind of the last generation of that. Like, we were the last, I feel like we were the last generation that woke up at seven AM, went to a corporate job, went to the gym after, ate dinner, and did it all again, like, and then COVID hit, and then I feel like Gen Z was like, uh, yeah, no. Like, they got out of college and they were like, cute, we're not doing that.

• 1:02:56Hannah Berner?

  They go, that's adorable for someone else, for a dumb millennial to do.

• 1:03:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I have a gripe.

• 1:03:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 1:03:03Hannah Berner?

  Why are bikinis sold separately, tops and bottoms, when like no one's mix and matching?

• 1:03:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I think you're wrong. I think they're sold separately because everyone's mix and matching, top and bottom sizes. I think the majority of girls, I don't have this, unfortunately, are bi- have bigger boobs and then like-

• 1:03:26Hannah Berner?

  For sizing.

• 1:03:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's why they're sold separately. Any other brainbusters, honey?

• 1:03:33Hannah Berner?

  You go, next, next question. Are we still doing the thong bikinis in a public space?

• 1:03:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God, Hannah, wait.

• 1:03:44Hannah Berner?

  She literally had to reposition for this.

• 1:03:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to reposition. Have you seen this discourse on TikTok?

• 1:03:49Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 1:03:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, there's this whole thing on TikTok where girls are like, stop wearing thong bikinis to the beach. And I disagree with you. I think, okay, the argument was, women were like, my children are here. I don't want my children seeing your asshole, basically, out. And then another girl goes, why don't you say the real reason? Because your kids don't notice. You don't want your husband looking at some young girl who's in a thong bikini.

• 1:04:24Hannah Berner?

  There's a lot of perspectives, but I also would-

• 1:04:26Paige DeSorbo?

  So many perspectives.

• 1:04:27Hannah Berner?

  I would argue that everyone has different body types.

• 1:04:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30Hannah Berner?

  And I have a fat ass.

• 1:04:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 1:04:34Hannah Berner?

  It's like your friends who have big boobs, how like-

• 1:04:37Paige DeSorbo?

  They're more sexualized.

• 1:04:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, if you wear a certain top, it's like Paige looks so cute in that. Where if another girl wears it, it's like, okay, you slutty whore.

• 1:04:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's giving sex symbol, yes.

• 1:04:47Hannah Berner?

  If I wear a thong to the beach, we're in a music video. We're in a full music video.

• 1:04:54Paige DeSorbo?

  And I don't hate it.

• 1:04:56Hannah Berner?

  But I'm not, I'm not always in the mood to be sexualized. Like, some, I want a bikini that's, first of all, bring back tankinis.

• 1:05:04Paige DeSorbo?

  They're back.

• 1:05:04Hannah Berner?

  Bring them back. They're back, okay, good.

• 1:05:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Tankinis are back.

• 1:05:07Hannah Berner?

  And I want to co- I want granny panties.

• 1:05:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I know you don't. I knew you wanted that. You want a full one-piece. You're really like-

• 1:05:15Hannah Berner?

  No, bring it back to the 60s. I want a full unitard.

• 1:05:22Hannah Berner?

  I want a t-shirt.

• 1:05:23Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't, you don't even want to show up to the beach in your bathing suit. You want to change there.

• 1:05:27Hannah Berner?

  I want-

• 1:05:28Paige DeSorbo?

  You want it 1950's style.

• 1:05:30Hannah Berner?

  I would wear like, a wet t-shirt to, in the pool, with like, a cute bottom. But like, whoever decided we had to wear bras, like, I also don't like bras. I never wear bras. Why would I wear it to the beach?

• 1:05:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I think everything is situational. Am I showing up to a kid's birthday with no bra and my ass out?

• 1:05:52Hannah Berner?

  How many kids' birthdays are you showing up to? She's like, on Mondays, I do kids' birthdays.

• 1:05:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You'd be surprised. Sometimes, sometimes I'm a big hit. Am I showing up to like a beach on vacation in, on an island in a thong bikini and like my nipples hard? Fuck yeah, I am. So like, I think everything really is situational. It can't-

• 1:06:14Hannah Berner?

  You didn't have to bring up hard nipples.

• 1:06:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I don't know. I'm feeling cheeky. It's 11:30 in Italy. I'm like, I'm just waking up.

• 1:06:25Hannah Berner?

  I don't want to poke you in the eye with my hard ass nipple. Okay.

• 1:06:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just think you can't, I feel like TikTok, it makes everything one big generalization. Like, there's a time and place for everything.

• 1:06:35Hannah Berner?

  I do think it's important for kids to see bodies.

• 1:06:40Paige DeSorbo?

  It's also like they, they're, they don't, aren't reacting to it. They're not sexualizing me. They're seven. They can't.

• 1:06:48Hannah Berner?

  If they never see a butt, and then one day they see a butt, that's gonna be weird.

• 1:06:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and all, I think it's-

• 1:06:54Hannah Berner?

  It's called exposure therapy.

• 1:06:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, expose them first. Like, I've never, as a child, I don't have one memory of going on vacation with my family and thinking about some person's body. Like, what?

• 1:07:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, someone's like, oh yeah, Capri was really fun until that one woman showed too much of her side boob.

• 1:07:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you talking about? Now, if I'm with a man and a hot, young bombshell walks in front of us, and she's got like, an insane itsy-bitsy teeny bikini on, in my head, am I like, he's definitely looking at her? Yeah, probably, but like, so am I. Like, she looks great, you know?

• 1:07:32Hannah Berner?

  You look over, you make sure he's still straight.

• 1:07:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No. If I had a nickel-

• 1:07:37Hannah Berner?

  If he doesn't look, if he doesn't look-

• 1:07:42Paige DeSorbo?

  We're segueing so good. Wait, we have to end on this because I was talking to one of my friends about this. This is so, Hannah, this is so crazy.

• 1:07:55Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're questioning if your boyfriend is gay or not, and we've all been there, okay?

• 1:08:02Paige DeSorbo?

  We've all at least had one where we're like, when he's going down on, when a guy is going down on you and you're laying down and you're on your back and he's going down on you. If his back is arched, not a good sign. Not a good sign. Their body should be down completely.

• 1:08:25Hannah Berner?

  Like full sniper mode, like all laying down?

• 1:08:29Paige DeSorbo?

  If the bed is large enough and he's on his stomach, okay, fine, but like, or it's like his knees should be on the ground. Like in no situation should his back ever be arched.

• 1:08:39Hannah Berner?

  Well, adding on to that, that's fucking genius. Adding on to that, any guy whose posture is too good in general?

• 1:08:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Gay.

• 1:08:52Hannah Berner?

  Every episode ends the same way.

• 1:08:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Your boyfriend's gay, break up with him.

• 1:09:00Hannah Berner?

  And that's our time. Thank you so much for listening, gang. Check out Hannah Page's Try New Things. New episode just dropped on YouTube where Paige is much better than me at aerial acrobatics and it's pretty entertaining. And special thanks to Duncan for supporting this episode. And sign up for our newsletter. We love you. Bye.

• 1:10:01Speaker 06

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