How to Build the Framework of Your Personal Brand for the Next 10 Years

In this episode of the GaryVee Audio Experience, I talk about why success can hide how much more capacity you have, speaking to the Park West team about self-awareness, humility, and emotional intelligence. I share why building a personal brand matters and why earning trust is more important than closing a sale. I also discuss balancing empathy with candor, helping employees become their best selves, and maximizing joy instead of letting your bank account define you. You'll learn about:• Self-Awareness And Untapped Capacity• Building Your Personal Brand• Earning Trust In Sales• Balancing Empathy With Candor• Choosing Joy Over Financial Status

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Si una o dos personas en esta audiencia están en el mismo lugar donde yo estaba a los 35 años, esto podría ser algo bueno para hablar, que es: es asombroso lo mucho capacidad que tiene el ser humano. Probablemente no entiendan lo mucho más capacidad y impacto que realmente tienen, y simplemente está cambiando los marcos. Es decir, literalmente, no sé si se puede ver en la fila de antes, me están dando emoción. Tal vez recibir cinco a diez correos por día de cómo cambias la vida de alguien es en realidad lo que estás perdiendo en tu alma ahora mismo. La gente es muy unidimensional en cómo ven tener una marca personal en línea cuando es muy multidimensional. Así que creo que esas son las cosas más importantes que quiero hablar.

• 0:41Speaker 00

  Una, como el gran poeta dijo una vez: "Nunca te subes a la alta en tu propia oferta. Tienes mucho más en ti." ¿Qué significa eso? ¿Significa eso dentro de esta industria? ¿Significa eso en otro lugar? Estoy increíblemente apasionado por esto. Creo que la gente se está encerrando. Esta es la experiencia audio de Gary Vee. Este es un muy divertido. En realidad, en estos días no estoy haciendo mucho discurso público, pero cuando este se me pasó por la mesa, aunque fue un fin de semana tan difícil, pensé que quería hacer este porque realmente, en última instancia, cuando miré por debajo de la tapa, me sentí una asociación muy real con todos ustedes en esta audiencia.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Si la vida tuviera una gira u espiral diferente, me sentiría como si pudiera sentarme en este grupo. Cuando pienso en ser un auctioneador y vender algo con energía, y luego también gestionar un equipo para vender en retail, argumentaría que eso es lo que es la vida. Como puede haber visto allí, o si saben algo sobre mí, dirigí un negocio de vino de alta calidad durante 20 años, y si han visto algún de mis contenidos recientemente, estoy completamente obsesionado con lo que está pasando con el shopping social en vivo y la identificación de las redes sociales, que es una industria de GMV de billones de dólares en China

• 2:06Speaker 00

  que está a punto de revolucionar completamente a América y Europa y el Occidente, y en realidad probablemente tiene un impacto bastante grande en este negocio como un tercero potencial psoe para lo que ya haces. Así que estaba pensando, obviamente tenemos mucho tiempo para preguntas y respuestas, así que John pueda dirigirme en lo que va a traer a todos ustedes el mayor valor, y dije que pedí muchas preguntas y respuestas porque no me gusta pontificar cuando está fuera de contexto. Me gustaría hacerlo tan directo como sea posible, pero había un par de temas que pensaba cuando pensaba en, ¿qué es lo mejor que puedo hablar que podría traer a un grupo como este de jugadores ganadores algo de valor?

• 2:48Speaker 00

  Lo primero que pensé fue cuando tenía 34 años hace 16 años, era un workaholic a pleno pleno y construyendo un gran negocio para mi padre, y pensé que estaba muy ocupado y muy impactante haciendo que suceda, y me pone a la pelota qué tipo de perro que ese 34 años es en comparación con quién soy ahora. Y pienso en eso mucho, en realidad. Y pienso en los peligros de ser exitoso. Sabes, eres el que fue expulsado de aquí. Esta es la élite dentro del org, ¿verdad? Y siempre estoy como, ¿es el regalo el pecado?

• 3:32Speaker 00

  ¿Es...? Oh, ahí vamos. Para mí es como si una o dos personas en esta audiencia estuvieran en el mismo lugar donde yo estaba a los 35 años, esto podría ser algo bueno para hablar, que es: "Probablemente no entiendan lo mucho más capacidad y impacto que realmente tienen, y simplemente está cambiando los marcos." Para mí, hubo muchas cosas que entraron en ello. Estaba construyendo un negocio para mi familia. Yo nací en la Unión Soviética. Llegamos aquí cuando tenía tres años. Viví en un apartamento de estudio en Queens con siete miembros familiares, así que soy el libro de texto, la historia del sueño americano. Y estaba psicotípicamente apasionado por construir un gran negocio para mis padres,

• 4:16Speaker 00

  que continúo siendo obsesionado y amado. La mayoría de la vida de la gente no es pasar de 22 a 34 años trabajando 120 horas por semana, construyendo un negocio de 3 millones a 60 millones y nunca ganando más de 50.000 dólares al año y despertar a 34 años con literalmente sin dinero y luego teniendo que descubrir su vida. Así que sé que soy un caso de alto nivel. Pero he visto durante los últimos 15 años, y tengo la ventaja de ser un inversor temprano en Facebook y Twitter y Uber y Snapchat y Venmo. He estado cerca y personal con algunas de las personas que han construido las compañías más grandes del mundo en los últimos 15 años. Estoy en múltiples boletas de Fortune 500,

• 4:54Speaker 00

  y mi agencia es la agencia que trabaja con Chase y Fanatics y Pepsi y on y on y on. Así que entre la entrepreneurship y Fortune 500 y la equidad privada y VC, he pensado y estratégicamente me he puesto en un lugar donde podría obtener un contexto ilimitado de cada ángulo, que podría ir a cualquier reunión de comida con cualquiera de aquí. Tus mayores clientes, lo que hagan, sé mucho sobre lo que hacen. Esa ha sido mi obsesión. Ahora con la AI, soy completamente imparable. Así que soy un antropólogo humano. Soy un ser consumocéntrico, sabanti, de tipo humano. Viene intuitivamente, pero luego pongo mucho trabajo. Y les estoy diciendo a todos, aquí, ahora mismo,

• 5:37Speaker 00

  estar en este grupo, estar en la parte superior de tu juego dentro de esto es tu mayor vulnerabilidad. Es asombroso lo mucho capacidad que tiene el ser humano. Y requiere un par de cosas: autoaviso. Todos aquí son diferentes, aunque todos están ganando colectivamente de diferentes maneras. Creo que la humildad es una palabra que no se habla suficiente. Pienso mucho en lo que ha funcionado para mí, y cuando realmente miro alrededor, creo que la gente sería muy sorprendida por las personas que están en las cobijas de revistas de negocios o los artículos que has leído de personas con los mayores saldos o la mayor riqueza. Hay realmente dos personas muy extremadamente diferentes que llegan a ese nivel.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  El completamente inseguro y las profundidades de su inseguridad lo hacen como Darth Vader, y llegan al top con algo de mierda real, y llegan allí y es difícil de sostener, y sus vidas reales no son tan grandes. Y luego hay personas que son extremadamente humildes, aunque puede que no se vea así porque están fuera y están hablando con bravado. Y es la humildad la que es su fundación de un éxito dramáticamente mayor. Por ejemplo, una de las cosas que pienso con esto es saber que casi tienes un mundo de dos lados donde estás activamente como un auctioneador y vendiendo, y luego también eres un gerente de equipo y de retail.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  Esos son muy diferentes. Es inconcebible para mí cuando miro aquí que hay una amplia gama de individuos aquí que o dominan aquí y están bien aquí, buenos aquí y geniales aquí, extraordinarios, vendiendo la mierda de cosas porque tienes el regalo de Gab y está simplemente en ti. Lo compartí contigo. Sé lo que es. Es una superpoder, pero eres un tipo de pendejo como gerente, o indiferente, o no te importa. O eres sólido como vendedor, pero eres tan bueno como gerente que las personas que traes continúan siendo extraordinarios de auctioneadores.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Hay mucho aquí. Hay muchas versiones diferentes aquí. Y creo que la pregunta se vuelve: ¿cuánta autoaviso y cuánta humildad tienes para entender dónde está el crecimiento empezando mañana? Pienso en eso todos los días. Estoy realmente ganando aquí. Y todos los días estoy como, ¿dónde estoy? ¿Qué es esto? ¿Dónde puedo ir? Y no realmente por papel, más por la alegría diaria, impacto, legado. Y otra vez, mirando a esta crew, puedo hablar con muchas audiencias diferentes de todas las formas y tamaños. Todos aquí han vivido un poco ahora. No eres un hijo, ¿verdad?

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Y creo que la autoaviso y la humildad son habilidades realmente suaves, pero les diré que son las habilidades que van a dictar el impacto financiero de tu vida, especialmente como la AI y la tecnología continúan acomodando. Si supieras cuán fácil es para mí construir un humano AI que aparece en forma robótica, que te venderá todos los días de la semana en un entorno de auction en cinco años, eso es como la mierda real. Como si esta empresa pudiera comprar robots que sean más carismáticos que tú y te venderían a ti. Lo harán.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  And so I think about the next 20 years, about where technology is going, something I've been very good at predicting. And what's very clear to me is that emotional intelligence is about to skyrocket to the top of the list. To the top. Now let me get into something that is incredibly for you all. Not the company, sorry, company. How you start navigating this next decade about building up your own personal brand and who you are in the world is very important. There will be two things that will be able to combat and create growth for a human and a family, I know a lot of spouses here. There are two things that will be able to combat what I think is about to happen

• 10:03Speaker 00

  in the next 20 years of technology. One I just spoke about, which is real deep emotional intelligence. Like where empathy and kindness and compassion, it's crazy. This crazy technology of AI that's scaring everyone is actually going to create way more humanity. It's a brainfuck, but I'm excited about it. And two, personal brand. Your reputation. Who knows you for what and how and where? As you sit here and go through the journey that I'm hoping that I'm pushing you a little bit towards of like, where do I sit on my salesmanship? And where do I sit as a leader that can build teams and make things happen? Who am I in live and selling and go? And who am I in making an operation sell more product? When somebody comes into the shop on a Wednesday in the morning

• 10:48Speaker 00

  after they've had three good days on the cruise and they've bought something? As you go through that journey, deciding if you're ready to start talking about. And that's what happened to me. I started realizing, oh, I did a lot of things well in my twenties and thirties, both on the mindset and on the execution part. I'm gonna just start talking to the world. I saw YouTube come out. And three months after YouTube came out, I started making videos about wine. And then six months later, I'm like, I'm gonna start making videos about business and mindset and leadership. And that obviously changed the course of my career and created unparalleled opportunities. Whether you want to talk about salesmanship, whether you want to talk about being a good partner when you're busy, whether you want to talk about how to build up managers,

• 11:30Speaker 00

  how to properly sell, how to create lifetime value, not a one-off sale, or whatever else you think you're good at. I cannot push you harder to start considering to make videos or if you're, which I wouldn't think should be the case for this crowd, but if for some weird reason you don't like being on video. The written word. How many people here by show of hands read Substack? A Substack of any kind, raise your hands. So this excites the shit out of me. The fact that like two people kind of raised their hand. Like the fact that no one here is consuming Substacks. When Substack is growing so quickly as a newsletter written platform that is building enormous levels of fame,

• 12:13Speaker 00

  similar to what I saw on YouTube in 06 or Instagram in 11 or TikTok in 16. Some of you here are dramat-- actually, here's a good question. Though this is a heavy gift of gab crowd, but let's just see. Who here would deem themselves a better writer than talker? Raise your hands. Yeah, I figured it wasn't gonna be too much. Let's go to talking. Obviously, that makes sense, given the context of this room. Some people might not like the video thing. They might think it's cringe. Then you go podcast and you just do audio. I will push you very hard and maybe in the Q and A. I believe being silent on the internet is a very bad strategic move. Including like things that you're not even thinking about now.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  If you have a platform, maybe for auctioneering and you have 50,000 people that follow you, maybe it won't be for a business reason. Maybe having an audience to raise money for a nonprofit around a disease that affected your family is now something you're able to achieve because you have a platform versus not, because you don't. Maybe getting it, let me tell you my life. I mean, I'm literally, I don't know if you can, in front row might see it, I'm getting goosebumps. Maybe getting five to 10 emails a day of how you changed someone's life is actually the thing that you're missing in your soul right now. Right? And so people are very one-dimensional on how they see having a personal brand online when it is very multi-dimensional.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  So I think those are kind of the biggest things I want to talk about. One, as the great poet once said, "Never get high on your own supply." And so like you're probably feeling good and you're gonna go to Tao tonight and drink and fucking dance and we're the fucking best, we're better than everybody else. We came here to New York. You've got a lot more in you. And like, what does that mean? Does that mean within this industry? Does it mean somewhere else? Like, I'm incredibly passionate about this. I think people sealing themselves. For example, these little characters. After everything I've done, and I've done plenty, I just decided six years ago that I'm Walt Disney. I'm being dead serious. Like I genuinely stand in front of you here and I'm like, oh,

• 14:26Speaker 00

  what Jim Henson and Walt Disney and Stan Lee did for Marvel and Muppets and Disney, I know how to do too. And I created a whole world, back to my passion of emotional intelligence, of Common Sense Cow and Gratitude Gorilla and Genuine Giraffe and 230 others. And I am building a blend between Pokemon, because there's a lot of collectible stuff I do in here, between Pokemon and Disney. And I am actively building in front of the whole world a multi-trillion dollar intellectual property. And 90% of the comments on social media are making fun of me that I've lost my life and my mind and I'm in a midlife crisis. That's because people create ceilings for themselves. That's because when I say that, they think that's outlandish.

• 15:10Speaker 00

  As if Walt Disney, Stan Lee and Jim Henson are so remarkable, they're not replicatable. Right? And so that's, wow, that one hit, thank you, everyone. Yeah, I've never said that, but that's what I feel. And so it's like, why not you? And like, there's just so much more. And now every human's about to be remarkably more productive. I said it earlier, I do a whole lot of yapping on the internet and in real life. But what people most don't know is mostly because I do so much listening when you can't see me. I watch, I learn. And now with Claude and ChatGPT and Gemini, like Grok, like my research, like, I mean, I can't even comprehend how much I've learned in the last year

• 15:55Speaker 00

  about building an intellectual property that would have taken me 800 hours, that took me eight. So the capacity of what you're able to accomplish. Wait till all of you start building your OpenClaw and your Harness and your computer and it's doing all the mundane things for you day to day, which opens up time for you to spend time with your family or do this work to grow. Like, this is an unbelievable decade in front of us. And you know what the best part is? The world, the mainstream media and social media are demonizing it like it's all fucked up. This is the best, I'm so pumped that everyone thinks everything's fucked. Because when you believe everything's fucked, you don't do shit.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  Which means for people like me that are doing shit, we're gonna get more. I'm telling everyone to not let me get it all. Every day. But they'd rather believe a bullshit politician or some random podcaster that everything's fucked when this is the greatest era to be alive in the history of the world. Yes, there is many, like, I'm not delusional, I watch everything. There's always tension and war and suppression. But did anybody go to history class? That's how it always is. I like, when people are like, it's never been worse, I'm like, the Black Plague was fucked up.

• 17:20Speaker 00

  You know, like, like, it's just like, like, people are incredibly entitled. You know, people want it easy and I get it, why not? That's just not how the world works. And accountability and action are two very important words. And I get very inspired and why I said yes to be here is we really do share a lot of similarities, you and I. And I just think you can do a lot more. And I will tell you, and I want to poke at this zit. If you are not a great manager to your team, because you've decided fear, no matter how you package it up, will inspire

• 18:03Speaker 00

  or get the results you're looking for on the P and L or the numbers, give it a rethink. You know? And I don't make that assumption, I don't know any of you. But I do know that even my own company where I'm psychotic and run a monarchy dictatorship, I have managers that come in that don't even see that they're doing fear. Because it's packaged nicely, it's like, you know, we don't make our numbers this month. It's not like they're yelling and cursing. But the weaponization of fear by parents and leaders is very subtle. And I ask you to go within and maybe cut out some of those cavities because you will see dramatically, dramatically bigger results

• 18:45Speaker 00

  if you understand how to weaponize hope and optimism and love, especially in the long term. Hate is very good at the first half. But love always wins when triple zero hits the clock. And that is macro, what's going on in the world. And it is incredibly micro in the way you feel about yourself and the way you manage your team. So those are the themes I'm thinking about. John, I'm ready for Q and A. Thank you.

• 19:19Speaker 00

  Hey everybody, I hope you're enjoying the podcast right now. Make sure you follow the podcast, that's why I'm interrupting. Let's keep going on this show, but follow the podcast. It'll make my mom super happy.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  So, I'm gonna start us out with a couple of questions. Yeah, go ahead. I'll start us out with a couple of questions and you guys can think about ones that you have.

• 19:42Speaker 00

  And by the way, I know maybe a handful or a small group does have context on me, so if you want to ask me something about other things I've got going on that I didn't touch on, please feel free, I'm here for you.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  For some reason, the bottom of the microphone, if you touch it, it shuts off.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  Got it. Oh, I see that. Shit, you should've told me earlier.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I get it.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  It's okay, we were listening intently. So, most of the people in this room are gonna be, and for those of you who aren't, don't be offended, but most of the people in this room are gonna be the richest generation of their family, in part because you're with us and what you've done with us is unbelievable. So, a lot of folks here are the first ones in their family to be six-figure earners. Some of these folks are closer to seven than they are to six.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  And they're really leveling up their life.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  So, they're all successful, they're all doing really well at whatever station they are with us. Obviously, they wouldn't be in this room. What's the biggest trap that comes for successful people?

• 20:39Speaker 00

  That thinking making money is important.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  You know, it's like, listen, I've made a lot of it. It's, I love games. I'm in it for the game, like, I'm into it. But when people use, like, in the way that you frame that, when anyone here thinks they're better than in their family because they make 700K and their sister makes 89K, that becomes the beginning of you opening a door that is going to be a losing game. To think your financial status is the platform that you want to stand on is an incredibly dangerous game.

• 21:24Speaker 00

  That's the answer, brother. Like, listen, now, you should be very proud of the hard work, the commitment, the tenacity, the accountability. There's people that don't make a lot of money have many emotional flaws. And so, if you focus on the fine balance of the humility and empathy you have for your inner circle, if you're that top earner within it, while still trying to find a way where you can bring them value, that's not predicated on how much money more they can make, but what are the emotional flaws that you are winning on that they are not seeing? That's a fine balance, right? Because they don't want to hear it, because it goes into like, "Who the fuck are you?"

• 22:04Speaker 00

  But like, like I said to everyone, like, if your self-esteem comes from your bank account, I've got bad news. There's a fuckload of people that make more money than you.

• 22:18Speaker 00

  Based on the number you just said, I might make more money this year than everyone here combined. That does not make me better than anyone here. And I hope you live that life too.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  One of the challenges for us is that we sell art to people on cruise ships. We're generally their first time buying art.

• 22:36Speaker 00

  Is that right? First? That's often?

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:39Speaker 00

  It's cool.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  And they stick with us for years after, but we're usually their first.

• 22:43Speaker 00

  And they stick with you in their, because they're yearly cruise goers? Or they buy off-platform?

• 22:49Speaker 01

  They buy off-platform.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  Heard.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Which is great.

• 22:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  We do land events, we do galleries.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  Heard, heard.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Anyway, these guys, they're responsible for getting that, they fill the top of our funnel.

• 23:24Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  And so...

• 23:26Speaker 00

  And who does retention?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 23:28Speaker 00

  And then who's responsible for retention and lifetime value?

• 23:31Speaker 01

  They have another team that does like VIP.

• 23:32Speaker 00

  Got it. So, you're the openers.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  So, the thing is, they have like 30 to 60 minutes to develop trust with a new batch of people.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  That's way too much time.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Talk about developing trust.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  You know, the first year I ran my dad's liquor store, the business did $3.2 million the year before I came on 10% gross profit, not net. So, it was a small business. The first year I ran it, we did $11.9 million on 29% gross profit. I did everything. I bought everything, I sold everything. The story goes, when people talk about my career is I launched a website, email, innovated. True, but not for year one. Year one was me working in a store 12 hours a day and anyone walking in here that wanted to buy one bottle miraculously somehow left with three cases and didn't know what the fuck just happened.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  The reason I'm a great salesman is because I have no interest in closing the sale.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  It's a, I appreciate that for something, like, it's a real, I just know it. And again, I'm sorry, but I really do get goosebumps when I feel it in my soul.

• 24:44Speaker 00

  I don't know how many of you know baseball. As a salesman, I throw off-speed pitches, not fastballs.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  I'm just not trying to sell something. I'm trying to reverse-engineer the person and understand. In fact, I often talk people out of buying things from me. I just did it at VaynerMedia. We just had a huge pitch. I went through it and I'm like, even if we do remarkable marketing, their product is so bad, we're just gonna speed up everyone knowing their product sucks. They're gonna pay us $3 million to speed up the world. I literally talked them out of hiring us and told them to fix their product and then come back.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  Trust at the highest levels is only earned through good things, not through gift of gab or charisma or all the other stuff. I'm also willing to use all those things at times. I'm not Mother Teresa. But, to answer your question, the reason I joked about 30 to an hour is too much time is it is. Humans are animals.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  And 90% of them, which is why salesmanship works, are not smart enough to know what's going on. But you want to win with the 10% that do.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  And if you focus on the 10% that can smell your moves and when they smell this odor they've never had before, which is you're not actually trying to sell them anything, you're just trying to listen to where they're at. And then that might fit them wanting to buy something. And that becomes your consistent, you completely dominate the 90% and you win over the 10% who are almost rarely won over. And then you become an unstoppable salesman.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  If you have a little bit of money in the bank account, if you have some time to yourself, these guys typically work either four or six months on and then they'll have a month or two off, so they have some time.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  That's fucking cool.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  So, they, what would you suggest for a young group of people that got a little money? What should they do to level up their lives, their careers, their all of that?

• 26:55Speaker 00

  That's incredible. What's that, brother? It is a great question. Thank you. Look, I think it's very individual. You know, the truth is, so for example, me, even though I made no money, literally I made $50,000 to $60,000 a year through my entire twenties into my early thirties, but I had a big advantage. I was living an $11,000 a year life. I literally lived in a shitty apartment by the liquor store and worked every minute and bought nothing. So, I was able to kind of like have a little money, which is like a foreign concept now, savings. Remember that? Like, that is not even like talked about.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  I, in my twenties and thirties, had such a self-awareness that I was gonna make plenty of money that I didn't invest my money, I just did random shit with it when I wanted. In fact, what I mainly did, and this is insane, was I had one weekend a year that I like lived like a normal human and I would go to Vegas with my friend Rob Moose from college and I would usually go and lose half of my net worth in Vegas over a weekend.

• 28:00Speaker 00

  I mean, it's so fucking insane. But there was such a deep, deep understanding that this money, that this was the right thing for me to do, to get some joy in this insane framework. For this group, that's a lot, that's a really interesting schedule. Like, I'm sure that, like, it sounds good, but I'm sure some of the people in here are like, like, that's like too much time, and they're like, what the fuck, like, you could start another fucking whole side business on that. Like, I think you need to really, you know, there's so many things. Paying off your family's debt. That is incredibly noble, because you know you're gonna keep going. Investing in high risk, high upside. My life turned when, after all those years at 32,

• 28:44Speaker 00

  I had about $213,000 in the bank, even though I made no money my whole life, back to my $11,000 year, and in three months, I wrote two checks that wiped out my bank account into two startups that I thought were gonna be big. Facebook and Twitter. My $46,000 investment in Twitter gave me $12 million when Elon bought it. And my $200,000 investment in Facebook is fucking $70 million right now, and I haven't sold a share.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  So you could go high risk, high reward.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  Right? So you could spend your whole fucking month when you're not doing shit, researching robotic and AI stocks and make a good bet on something, like, I don't know. Or you could find a partner who's your best friend from high school, and, you know, give some of the money to him or her, and you start a business on the side, and you're there two months of the year, but not the other 10, and they're your partner, and you put up the capital in your two months. I mean, you could do 9,000 fucking things. I think you should buy comic books, I think they're about to explode. I'm obsessed with collectibles. The amount of money coming in is just, and now here come the index funds, like, that world's about to get crazy. So if you're a little bit knowledgeable about collectibles, I think coins are about to explode. They've been an old man's game, I can see because of whatnot and TikTok,

• 30:02Speaker 00

  youth culture's coming in. So what I saw on trading cards in 17, I think is about to happen in coins. Maybe you fucking know something about coins. I think you should go buy some good ones, I think they're gonna 10x. Like, I don't know, like, I could sit here for the rest of my life, John, and tell you what they should do with their money.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Let's open the floor up to some questions. One question I had after reading the book is, could too much empathy make you worse than you?

• 30:26Speaker 00

  Yep, you're looking at one. My empathy was so off the charts, my mother is so off the charts empathetic, I'm my mother's son. My father was a very different dude, is a very different dude. And when I was 14, you know, I just, my father and I slept under the same roof for the first 14 years of my life, every night of our lives.

• 30:50Speaker 00

  And I never saw him. And I mean, never. He woke up before I woke up, and he got home after I went to sleep for our entire childhood, because we were real immigrants, it was real divide and conquer, and he was building the American dream. This was 1950's shit, not even 1970's and 80's shit, let alone the insanity of us all trying to do everything in 2020.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  So when I go to my fa, this is literally real. I barely know my father at 14. I now am getting Ds and Fs in school, and I turned 14, and my parent, my mom, not even my parents, because my dad was working, my mom sat me down and said, "Well, you're not a scholar, so guess what? You're going to work, starting this weekend." And I worked every weekend, and every holiday, and every summer vacation day since 8th grade to right this second. The first day I go to my dad's liquor store, to work. We had moved to like rural New Jersey, because my dad wanted the old country and wanted like a fucking farm, it was the worst. Anyway, so we had to drive 45 fucking minutes to the liquor store that we're working at.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  I sit down, my father does not say a word to me for 45 minutes. We pull into the parking lot, and he turns to me, and he says, "Did anybody see Rocky IV, like Ivan Drago?" That's my dad's accent. Like, "I must break you," you know, like that. He turned to me and said, "Watch the employees, they tend to steal, they're the enemy."

• 32:23Speaker 00

  So now I, that's the environment I walk into, and then I'm in it that summer, and my dad is literally yelling at employees like, "You fucking asshole, if you ever break another bottle of wine, I'm gonna fucking," like, shit that was like, and so because of my empathy, and then because of the way my father communicated, when I wrote this book, 12 and a half, I was incredibly vulnerable that for 25 years, I thought I was the best manager of all time, because of all this, I'm, like, I'm telling you, if you really knew me, like, I am a sweetie pie. I am a lover boy, even though I'm a gangster and wanna kill everybody, like, you know.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  And for 25 years, my empathy did not allow me to have candor, because compounded, I demonized candor, because my father used candor, but the way he delivered the candor was so toxic that I pushed so far away, and it became my scarlet letter, and more importantly, my blind spot. And so, I heard it when I walked in, I was smiling. Literally, I lived for 25 years, like, "Donnie, great weekend, like, I'll see you on Monday, like, have the best fucking weekend." And then Monday at 9 o'clock, "Donnie, real quick, I'm coming." So, "Donnie, like, you know we have to let you go." And he's like, "What? You told me I'm the best three days ago." Because I didn't know how to give candor along the way, or feedback, because I thought it would scare them.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  So I was trying to find 800 other fucking moves to build them up. Yes, there is too much empathy. You've got, like, like what's going on in politics? My friends, the answer is not red or blue, the answer's fucking purple.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  It's always been purple, it will always be purple, and there are times where closer to purple, and clearly right now we're not. Where people literally change their minds to be all blue or all red of what's in their soul, just to be into a tribe. Because they're so fucking insecure and such bitches, they can't stand on their own two feet. Anyway, um, yes, there's too much empathy, and candor matters, and you could see, it seems like that's the one you read. When I finally tricked myself into realizing everything personal and professional that was not working was only based on this one piece of kryptonite in a Superman world of my inability to be candorous, I re-marketed and re-branded it to my own self, and called it Kind Candor.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  And so it's Mary Poppins, I will have, I now can deliver medicine, but there's gonna be some sugar in it. But we're gonna get to the medicine, and it has transformed me as a leader, and for context, six years ago, when I fucking owned it and became accountable, VaynerMedia did 100 million in revenue. In six years, we're now doing 400 million in revenue, and it is wildly because of that.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Firstly, thank you for being here, Gary, it's a big moment for me. I've been following you since some of those were ideas.

• 35:10Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  It's really cool, I just wanna say thank you, you're a big inspiration and the reason why I'm here, the hustle, grind, and everything. Um, so I thought last night, if I could ask Gary Vayner question, what would it be? And it's 10 more questions, so I thought to be respectful to the room here, I'm gonna ask something that's relevant to us, and one big thing for me is mindset.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  To be part of my success as well, something I learned from you, right? And mindset is a really big thing, you need to have a hunger for success.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  It, it's the only thing.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  How you see life is how it is. There is no life, there is no truth. Your perspective on the world and your situation is life. It's insane how real that is, I'm sorry.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  It's insane, yeah, very huge to actually mention that as well, that your perception is your reality, right?

• 35:59Speaker 00

  It's the biggest truth.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  I truly believe in that as well. So, one big thing for me is I can train my teams, and all these people here are very good in sales, so they, they know how to train a team, they know how to sell and all these things. And it's easy to train a team member, but the thing I find most difficult is to employ and embed that same mindset into them, because I just feel if they had that same drive and hunger, I would even have to coach them. Because when I came up to success, I wasn't taught the things I know from my auction years or things, well, I learned a lot from them, of course, but a lot of what I learned was from myself.

• 36:31Speaker 00

  I get it.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Because I have that drive, because I have that hunger. So how would you best embed that into your team?

• 36:37Speaker 00

  Thank you. I can't believe you asked me this question, because it invokes my favorite story, maybe top five for sure, of me and my father. And so after I give you all that context, you'll like this one. One day we're driving, it's probably four to five years into me working with my dad, and he's just fucking complaining about employees, his favorite fucking side gig. And I, and I'm just like, "This motherfucker." I finally looked at him and said, "Dad, if these fucking people were as good as you, they wouldn't work for you asshole." And it hit for him. My man, if they were as ambitious and hungry as you, they probably wouldn't even be there, and I know you were there, and I get that,

• 37:18Speaker 00

  but you have to understand, mindset is a real fucking journey. You got fortunate in your DNA and your circumstances that led you to have the ability to do that. There are actual people that need a much longer process to even get to halfway, and if you're unable to deploy empathy, because you can't force a penguin to be a giraffe.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  What you can do is maximize that giraffe's penguin-ness.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  Got it? And if you're overinfatuated of turning that giraffe into a penguin, you will waste time. So you take the giraffe and make them as much salesman and action-oriented and hungry as you can, and then you are in charge of deciding like, "Okay, Sally is now at her range of cap, let me go find Jerome, or Wackiel, or Juan, or Steven, because I might need someone else."

• 38:21Speaker 00

  I don't understand how people don't know this, like, this is so clear to me, and I always like using sports. One, no matter how much I train you, you're not going to the NBA.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  And that's that. And like, that's not defeatism. That's humility and self-awareness. I just said perspective is everything. Yes, as long as you're not willing to be delusional.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  Unless you balance two extremes to create purple, you will always be vulnerable. Delusionally optimistic and like, everything is great, while having the humility and the accountability to be wrong when faced with facts around your optimism.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  So, I think for all of us training up people, our ability to understand the person and not have them do what we want them to do to be like us, but reverse engineer them to be the best version of them of what they're able to be. You need to listen and watch and then try to maximize and close vulnerabilities and accelerate strengths, not have them become you.

• 39:36Speaker 03

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• 40:12Speaker 01

  All right, who's next?

• 40:13Speaker 04

  How do you know the difference between being delusional, optimistic, and magical thinking? When do you know when you're just, you know, going longer? Where you're like...

• 40:22Speaker 00

  You can see how fast I want the mic. I know the answer to this.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  It's so simple, it's so fun, man. By doing it and seeing what happened.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  Everybody wants to play out life in their head. And then there's life.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  Like, I just literally told you that I'm Walt Disney. That's either gonna happen or not. And if it doesn't, you will see a video or whatever the fuck robotics or VR, whatever the world's like, in 40 years and be like, "I wasn't able to get there." In hindsight, what I didn't have that Walt has was, "I had 33 businesses and I was too stretched in. He just focused on one." Or, "I wasn't as creative as I thought." Or, "I misread this macro trend." But, I'm gonna go do it. I'm definitely not gonna lay in my bed and be like, "Am I Walt Disney?"

• 41:17Speaker 00

  You have to do. And then you have to have the humility to know when to cut bait and the self-awareness. Or, you have to have the tenacity and the humility to know when to double down when it's not looking good.

• 41:30Speaker 00

  Emotional intelligence is gonna be the only thing left. And whether you need to start going to therapy, or whether you need to start meditation or hiking, or when you have a month off, go on some weird retreat and don't talk for a month.

• 41:44Speaker 00

  Or whether you need to surround yourself with better and optimistic and more passionate winners.

• 41:52Speaker 00

  Or whether you need to start consuming content that's not built to scare you and built to make you hate, but is built to make you grow. Or all the other things that can happen. You need to start figuring out what will put you in a position to do these things that were all... I mean, why would anyone here not want to be happier? Right? And the only answer is if that feels tough. When I said that is, you're in a weird place right now with yourself. You don't love yourself enough. You don't give yourself enough grace. You've not forgiven yourself for certain things enough yet to open the door for growth emotionally, which completely then maps to your financial upside.

• 42:40Speaker 00

  Back.

• 42:43Speaker 05

  Um, Gary, you obviously have...

• 42:45Speaker 00

  What's your name?

• 42:45Speaker 05

  Oh, I'm A.

• 42:46Speaker 00

  Matt.

• 42:47Speaker 05

  Um, so you obviously have incredible businesses that have been super successful and you're obviously a very self-aware person that probably thinks of 100 scenarios before you even try and go into something.

• 42:57Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  So, out of your businesses, what would you say was a lesson that surprised you with opening up any of these companies? What was the lesson that kind of you didn't see coming?

• 43:11Speaker 00

  That's a really good question. Um...

• 43:16Speaker 00

  It's so crea... Man. Obviously, I talked about I did not see the blind spot that I wasn't candorous and that I wasn't as good of a boss as I thought I was for 20 years.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  I'm a big fan of not bullshitting. Like, I desperately wanna come up with something right now to seem human, but...

• 43:36Speaker 00

  It's not that I was surprised. I had to go through... Here's a transformation. I knew about five minutes in that I was a better businessman than my father at 14. What I didn't know...

• 43:49Speaker 00

  By the way, my dad loves when I do this 'cause he's proud. I get it. My son's getting very good at basketball. He's so much better than me. My competitive spirit's like pissed, but I'm so proud 'cause he's my son. What I didn't know is where I ranked in the world. You know, I didn't know shit. I was an immigrant. I wasn't around... Like, we were like a family unit. I never did shit. Like, I was a real immigrant. Like, I tried not to go to college. I didn't even take my SATs. Like, I wasn't worldly at all. I didn't know what an... By the way, you were impressed with the Facebook thing? If I knew what an SPV was, a special purpose vehicle, which would have allowed me to raise money from all of my rich wine collectors and get 20% of the action, I would be a trillionaire. That's how much I believed in Facebook. I spent all my money on it.

• 44:33Speaker 00

  I was, at 34 years old, even though I was who I was, I didn't even know what an SPV was. So, I didn't know shit. What surprised me was, I didn't know in my twenties or teens and even into my thirties that I was gonna be the best entrepreneur in the room. And that I was gonna have to lead with humility. I got to that place with my father. It was my father. But with Eric Wattenberg in our TV production company and with my restaurant group, you guys are going to Flyfish. You know, you'll see like David Roddletts or K-Pond. Or even with my own brother, who was a much better student than me, has a lot of my DNA, is a fucking gangster. And every other person that I do business with, I didn't know I was gonna be 1A.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  And then the question becomes, is that right? Should I be in places where I'm 1B? Or 2? Like, you know, all these things you go through, but I'm very rarely surprised because the only thing I've got is human skills. And when you have human skills, there's a thing that my mom and I do with each other and now I'm getting scared 'cause I think my 17-year-old daughter might have it. Where we look at each other and like really look at each other the way I'm looking at somebody right now. And what we're saying without saying is, "Can you believe this person thinks they're tricking us?"

• 45:48Speaker 00

  In my life, I mean, in my life, girls I've dated, business, I've interacted with a trillion people. Not one human being in my life has ever tricked me. Which is why I love people. I'm not scared of them.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  So, nothing's surprised me. Like, whoa, I didn't see that coming. I think it's... Because I don't really judge. The market's easy. I think the market, like the market, it's always surprising you. I didn't know I was gonna wake up in, you know, 2008, October, and the financial crisis was gonna come. Right? Like, you don't know. Like, I didn't know everyone was gonna be greedy and scammy and fuck up the brand of digital collectibles and NFTs. I didn't know. But, the reason I'm never surprised in business is I have no expectations. The reason no human ever disappoints me is I have no expectations. I just react to truth. When you are constantly a counterpuncher,

• 46:49Speaker 00

  it's hard to get knocked out.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  Man, you look good, bro. That's a real fit.

• 47:01Speaker 06

  Gary, I don't even know where to start.

• 47:05Speaker 06

  Who sits at your table? When the next big idea comes your way, when something needs to be discussed, who's the people at that table that inspires you and kind of drives you forward, giving you that perspective for that next big move?

• 47:20Speaker 00

  It's a great question. And it's a weird answer. And again, I will say, the only thing I've done well is I've figured myself out. What I'm about to say is not... I don't even think is good advice. And it's definitely not for most people. Rather, the answer is no one.

• 47:39Speaker 00

  And the answer is everyone. That's why it's no one. What I do for a living is I watch the entire 8.3 billion people on Earth and I make decisions.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  I... When I tell you... There are very few people... I know this because I'm... Because I've talked to the biggest politicians in the world, the biggest companies in the world, the most people... Like, there are very few humans on Earth that walk around that are as obsessed with knowing everything about everything, about how humans are behaving so I can figure out how to sell things to them, than me. And so, the reason no one's at the table is, I know that when I'm... I'll give you one right now. As I'm thinking through this new business idea I have, which is drive-in movie theaters like the 60s. And ones that when you get there, there's towers that kill your wifi so you have to be fully unplugged. With an overlay of premium food and things of that nature. That's me watching for the last three years knowing that anyone here

• 48:35Speaker 00

  that has a 15 to 18-year-old girl in their life, niece, you know, niece, daughter, that you know that she's more likely to buy a digital camera right now than use her own phone to take cameras because the world is going back to analog.

• 48:50Speaker 00

  So, why am I doing that? Why is vinyl working and flip phones working? And non-smart... Literally 13-year-olds around this entire country ask for non-smartphones because they see the anxiety and angst of their older siblings and they're blaming technology when it's not technology. It's over-coddling parent behavior.

• 49:10Speaker 00

  But no one wants to blame themselves. It's a lot more fun to blame zucks in China.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's real fun when you watch and you pay attention. And when you're on the receiving end of so much DMs and messages and then you synthesize. So, the answer is everyone and no one, which is a weird one, but I enjoy it because that's why I think I'm never surprised. I mean, I do real... You know, it's like very intuitive when I feel it. And then it's homework time. And what? What am I gonna go do? Talk to Mark Cuban about his journey of building movie theaters that were pre... Like, it's 12 years ago.

• 49:46Speaker 00

  Like, I don't want people to come to me and ask how to build an ad agency that I built 14 years ago. Everything's different. The macro things we've been talking about here are the real thing.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  Right? So, yeah, it's... And I think a lot of people... You know, I... I will say it here 'cause it's the truth. I do think it's a potential shortcoming of me. I have such access to some of the biggest minds in the world. I don't think it's ego. I really don't. I'm really comfortable where I sit with humility. It's... You know what it really is? Actually, this is fucking insane. I can actually tell you exactly what it is. I don't care if it makes more money. I just want it to be my art.

• 50:29Speaker 00

  Makes... Right? Like, I... Like, that really... Like, that's my truth. I'm not trying to maximize finance. I'm trying to maximize joy. And boy, does this crowd probably understand what I'm saying. I'm more an artist than I am entrepreneur. If my business does well or not, is irrelevant. I just needed to paint it and I don't want you to fucking touch it.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  Hey, everybody, if you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention and thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.

• 51:13Speaker 02

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