She Needs To Divorce Him | Financial Audit

*I CALL AND BRUTALLY CONFRONT THEIR SCAMMER ROOMMATE IN THE POST SHOW* This man is stealing from them, scamming, and being an evil person. He deserves my crash out! Watch post show here: https://hamr.link/fa7e57 *OR* download the brand new Hammer Elite App ➡ https://hamr.link/755468 (discounted annual) 🏆 Dollarwise Referral Games is Live! Earn up to $15 per qualifying referral: https://go.dollarwise.com/joinrefytc 💻 Not a Dollarwise member. Lock in 56% off monthly before October 9th: https://go.dollarwise.com/newstart1 ============================= *Caleb Hammer Financial Resources* ============================= 👉 *PERSONAL LOANS* Shop for the best personal loan for a new purchase, a consolidation, or something else → https://shorturl.at/c53Eg 👉 *DEBT RELIEF* Finally experience relief from your debt once and for all → https://shorturl.at/VbGPv 👉 *CREDIT BUILDER* Got crappy credit? Break free and finally build it for good → https://shorturl.at/zZf2P 👉 *AUTO LOANS* Get the best rates on an auto loan or refinance → https://shorturl.at/vNxQL 👉 *CAR INSURANCE* Find and compare much better AND cheaper car insurance for free → https://hamr.link/ytautolion ============================= 🔥 MY NEW FLAVOR IS FINALLY LIVE!! Get Liquid Assets *NOW* for under 40 cents per serving!! Get 10% off your entire order with code CALEB - https://hamr.link/calebdrank 🔥 Get Your Own *Hammer Financial Score* → https://hamr.link/newquiz ============================= *Sponsors for This Video* ============================= Ready to be seen? Check that appointment off your to-do list with Zocdoc ✅: https://zocdoc.com/caleb #sponsored If you or someone you know experienced serious mental health struggles as a result of social media use, you may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. Visit https://morganmorganpa.sjv.io/c/7273707/3841482/23429?sharedid=caleb-hammer to submit a claim now. ============================= *Education* ============================= 👉 Get access to EVERYTHING I offer all in one place: https://bit.ly/4sUm2pb ⚡Learn how to budget: https://bit.ly/4sspyGh ⚡Learn how to invest: https://bit.ly/41mr8OP ⚡Pay off your debt: https://calebhammer.com/master-your-debt ============================= *Extra Resources* ============================= 👉 Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree: ➡ https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 👉 Get FREE MONEY by investing with Public! https://secure.moneymatchup.com/public-caleb 👉 Find the best credit cards for you with my quiz! https://cards.calebhammer.com/yt 👉 Get $20 from Acorns for free: ➡ https://acorns.com/caleb 👉 Helium Mobile: Use promo code CALEB for a FREE plan ➡ https://hellohelium.com/ 👉 Protect your online privacy and security for free with Aura: ➡ https://aura.com/hammer 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to $350 and 3.75% APY on savings with Chime®: https://secure.moneymatchup.com/-caleb-chime-YT ============================= *Chapters* ============================= 00:00 Intro 01:40 Jobs & Income 07:09 Financial Audit is their last hope 08:34 sounds like domestic ab*se waiting to happen... 24:23 shes in a dangerous situation with this man. 30:13 getting Lindsay Clancy vibes here... 34:03 wouldnt be financial audit without some cheating!! 41:13 this guy is such a p*ssy 45:42 LADY JUST LEAVE HIM HOLY 48:23 8 MONTHS BEHIND???? 52:02 shoutout adam for the fist fight 01:02:32 lets see what the mom has to say... 01:08:37 aaaand a repossessed vehicle lol 01:18:12 chat, should she cheat again? 01:23:33 maybe him and his boy are more than roommates..? 01:27:22 Budget!! 01:29:48 Hammer Financial Score ============================= Want more content? ============================= 🍿 Caleb Hammer Clips: https://www.youtube.com/@calebhammerclips 🍿 Front Page Documentaries: https://www.youtube.com/@frontpagechannel 🍿 Caleb Hammer Top Videos https://www.youtube.com/@CalebHammerTopVideos ============================= *Connect with me!* ============================= TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calebhammercomposer X: https://x.com/sircalebhammer IG: https://www.instagram.com/calebhammercomposer/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/calebhammercomposer/ ============================= *Want to be a guest on Financial Audit?* ============================= 👉 We film weekdays in our studio in Austin, Texas (in person only)! To apply, visit: https://calebhammer.com/apply *Some of the links and other products that appear in this video are from companies for which Caleb Hammer will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. This is not investment advice. Sponsorship and business inquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:45Caleb Hammer?

  To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube.

• 0:48Speaker 03

  I'm tired of the yelling. I'm tired of the abuse.

• 0:52Caleb Hammer?

  Screaming, throwing things at children, banging things around, making holes in the wall. That is not okay.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  My kids have definitely suffered a lot.

• 1:01Caleb Hammer?

  And you're fully acknowledging right now that you abuse her.

• 1:04Speaker 04

  If yelling and throwing stuff, yeah.

• 1:07Caleb Hammer?

  We don't f**k around with kids.

• 1:08Speaker 04

  Yes, sir. I try not to, but.

• 1:10Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, sir? F**k you, yes, sir. Don't yes, sir me, you pathetic rat. Leave him. Leave him. Aren't you sick of wondering where your money is going? That ends today. The new Dollar Wise is live on your phone and now on the web as well. And to celebrate the web launch, we're giving you 20% off. 12 months of Dollar Wise, normally $99.99 for only $79.99. Feeling competitive? The referral games are live. Refer a friend, earn real money and maybe win a trip to visit me here in the studio. But hurry, this deal won't last forever. Click the link in the description below and see the new Dollar Wise for yourself.

• 1:52Caleb Hammer?

  I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to CalebHammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm Jamie. I'm 26.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  I'm Michael. I'm 26, somewhere from St. Mary's County, Maryland.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  And this is Financial Audit.

• 2:20Caleb Hammer?

  Thanks for coming down to Austin, guys. Really nice to meet you. Jamie, as always, starting with the one in front of me, what do you do for a living up there?

• 2:27Speaker 03

  I am a medical assistant.

• 2:28Caleb Hammer?

  Sure. What are you assisting?

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Um, I'm work in primary care currently.

• 2:32Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Well, probably not as much money, but let's see. I don't know. What do you make?

• 2:36Speaker 03

  I make 19 an hour.

• 2:38Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, not as much money. Um, okay. Honestly, St. Mary's County, I have no idea the cost of living in St. Mary's County. I don't know where that is. Maryland, sure. I mean, in general, Northeast does tend to be more expensive, so I go off of that, making that 19 a little harder. 19 down here, you know, it wouldn't be the end of the world. How many hours a week are you working?

• 3:00Speaker 03

  40.

• 3:01Caleb Hammer?

  So what's your account per paycheck? What's that per paycheck basis?

• 3:04Speaker 03

  That's a little complicated currently.

• 3:06Caleb Hammer?

  Is it?

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's very complicated. So technically, it should be about 24 a month, but currently I had a credit card garnish my wages, so I'm missing about 800 a month out of that paycheck.

• 3:17Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so what do you make a month then?

• 3:19Speaker 03

  So what has the account now is, what, 850 plus 850? Whatever that is. 16 something, 17?

• 3:26Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  1700?

• 3:28Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Well, that's not enough to live on.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:31Caleb Hammer?

  Are you guys married?

• 3:32Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  No, we are not.

• 3:35Caleb Hammer?

  What's the status?

• 3:36Speaker 04

  Engaged.

• 3:37Caleb Hammer?

  Engaged? Congratulations. When'd you guys get engaged?

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Christmas.

• 3:43Caleb Hammer?

  When's the marriage?

• 3:44Speaker 04

  We don't know.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  No date.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. We have not figured that out yet.

• 3:47Caleb Hammer?

  Well, Michael, what do you do for a living?

• 3:49Speaker 04

  I am a fry cook and, well, in the morning and then at night, I have a second job cleaning.

• 3:54Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, cool. What's your hourly? How many hours a week are you working?

• 3:58Speaker 04

  40 hours at my fry cook job and then probably like another 20, 25 at my second job cleaning.

• 4:06Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, I mean, you're working your butt off and you kind of have to. She's only making 1700, but she's making 40 hours. I feel like your wage should be more, but okay. Okay, what do you make on a monthly basis net?

• 4:18Speaker 04

  Um, if...

• 4:22Speaker 04

  What was it, like 3,400?

• 4:24Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 4:24Speaker 04

  A month at, from my fry cook job and then?

• 4:27Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so yours makes no f**k sense. 19 hours times 40 times 52 divided by 12. I'll see if this is pre-tax. No, you're not getting taxed at 50%.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  I also get, um, my insurance and all that kind of stuff comes down to my paycheck as well.

• 4:43Caleb Hammer?

  Does it add up to 50%?

• 4:47Speaker 03

  I, my...

• 4:48Caleb Hammer?

  Are you sure you know your take-home pay?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Yes, 19 an hour.

• 4:51Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's take-home pay.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  That's not your take-home pay.

• 4:53Caleb Hammer?

  Like, that's actually the stupidest answer I've ever... Do you know your take-home pay? 19 an hour? Come on. Okay. So what's your, so what has your account monthly with everything combined?

• 5:04Speaker 04

  What, with both of our, or?

• 5:05Caleb Hammer?

  Your two jobs, Michael.

• 5:08Speaker 04

  Uh, 4,400?

• 5:11Caleb Hammer?

  You're wrong.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  No. It'd be 4,200, sorry. It's 200.

• 5:16Caleb Hammer?

  You're wrong. You have to be wrong.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  You want me to pull up my stuff, my pay subs?

• 5:20Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, actually.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Cool.

• 5:21Caleb Hammer?

  That might be good. Or are you hyperinflating?

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Me? No, I make 28 an hour.

• 5:27Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, that makes more sense.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  I actually have his recent pay subs too, if that would help in my email.

• 5:34Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Yeah, pull it up.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Um, pay-per-view.

• 5:46Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 5:49Caleb Hammer?

  You make some of the weirdest sounds I've ever heard, dude.

• 5:52Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 5:52Caleb Hammer?

  You're just like every five seconds, there's a, and there's another one. What are you doing? Do you exist? Are you alive?

• 5:58Speaker 04

  I think so. I think I'm just a heavy breather. Even, even our roommate, Adam, always says I'm a heavy breather. He thinks I'm sleeping.

• 6:07Caleb Hammer?

  Who?

• 6:07Speaker 04

  He thinks I'm sleeping.

• 6:08Caleb Hammer?

  Who?

• 6:12Speaker 04

  Uh, Adam, like when I'm breathing, he thinks I'm sleeping because I breathe so heavy.

• 6:17Caleb Hammer?

  Adam?

• 6:17Speaker 04

  That's our roommate.

• 6:18Caleb Hammer?

  How the f**k would I know your roommate's name?

• 6:22Speaker 04

  Oh, that's just fake name. Sorry. I didn't mean that.

• 6:24Caleb Hammer?

  How would I even know you have a roommate? No sarcasm, no joking. Fuck the fans. Thank you.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Sorry. I was just trying to say something about it while I'm breathing or making weird noises.

• 6:37Caleb Hammer?

  You're just expecting me to know you live with someone or who you live with?

• 6:41Speaker 04

  No, no. I was just trying to explain.

• 6:43Caleb Hammer?

  Are you talking to her?

• 6:43Speaker 04

  No, I was talking to you.

• 6:44Caleb Hammer?

  You're talking to me?

• 6:45Speaker 04

  You asked why I make weird noises.

• 6:46Caleb Hammer?

  You're telling me about someone that no context, I would not understand who you're talking about.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  I mean, that's true.

• 6:51Caleb Hammer?

  Is that how you speak to people? That's crazy.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  I don't think so, no.

• 6:54Caleb Hammer?

  That blows my mind. I mean, yeah, your paycheck is, I'm sorry. I apologize. Oh, hopefully it broke so I can get you a better phone because that one's a piece of shit. That? Yeah, she makes that much money. Okay. Yeah, you must have insane premiums or something on your health insurance. Okay, guys. So your household income is much better because of him, kind of strong, but he's working his ass off.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:18Caleb Hammer?

  That's why he's probably a little f**king loopy and he just starts talking to me like five sentences ahead.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  He doesn't get much sleep at all.

• 7:24Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, probably because he can't f**k breathe. $5,900 is what you guys take home on a monthly basis. What's going on? What are we talking about?

• 7:34Speaker 03

  A lot. Um, I, I mean, this is it at this point. It's either...

• 7:40Caleb Hammer?

  This is it?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:44Caleb Hammer?

  For both of you or just, or just you?

• 7:47Speaker 03

  If we don't fix whatever we got going on financially and like relationship-wise, it's over again.

• 7:54Caleb Hammer?

  Again?

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:55Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, now you're saying this. Are we both aligned with the on-the-edge, teetering on-the-edge? Or is this just a you thing?

• 8:02Speaker 04

  No, I can agree with it'll probably be the breaking point if we can't figure this out and we'll probably end up splitting again.

• 8:08Caleb Hammer?

  Again? When'd you guys split the first time?

• 8:11Speaker 03

  Uh, 2024.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  She cheated on me.

• 8:13Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my f**k. Oh, my goodness, Financial Audit, I swear. Okay, this is like f**king literally cheating on it, I swear. You guys, what is with this f**king show, man? We'll get into that at some point. Stop sniffing like a f**k freak, dude.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 8:27Caleb Hammer?

  Luckily for you guys, we probably cut it out, but whoo, it's bad in here. So what's going on now? We'll get back to 2024, but how are we at a breaking point now? Give me a picture of what is happening. What's going on?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  I'm at my breaking point currently.

• 8:43Caleb Hammer?

  Um, okay. Well, as an engaged couple, that's not great to hear, is it, buddy?

• 8:47Speaker 04

  No, not at all.

• 8:48Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, what's going on?

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Michael does not have the best handle on his emotions.

• 8:52Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. What's wrong with you?

• 8:56Speaker 04

  I get angry. The alpha is angry.

• 8:59Caleb Hammer?

  And you don't wanna see that. You get angry. We all get angry.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 9:04Caleb Hammer?

  What you choose to do with your anger is something completely different.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:09Caleb Hammer?

  What do you do when you're angry?

• 9:11Speaker 04

  Uh, yell or throw things or break things.

• 9:15Caleb Hammer?

  Break things? Throw things?

• 9:17Speaker 03

  We've gone through multiple dog food bins because he likes to kick the dog food bin and break it. Um, we have, yeah.

• 9:24Caleb Hammer?

  First of all, that's a weird thing to be just like automatically attracted to an anger.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  Well, it's just.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  It's also during when he's feeding the animals too. So he eats, so he just kicks it.

• 9:31Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, I don't like you getting, he gets angry feeding the animals, doing a chore?

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:37Caleb Hammer?

  This is what pushes him over the edge? What is wrong with you?

• 9:40Speaker 04

  Everything. But it's just with five kittens when you try to go into the, um.

• 9:46Caleb Hammer?

  Why do you have so many kittens? That's not like even necessarily good.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  Oh, no, it's not good. We took in a stray probably like in April. During that time in Maryland, it would, it would get like to twenty, thirty degrees at night and the cat was skin and bones.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  It was in April. It was February.

• 10:02Caleb Hammer?

  Well, no, it wasn't.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was. When, when, when Bean was, when we took Bean in, it was February. And we had her for a couple of months, took her to the vets. The vet said, oh shit, she's pregnant.

• 10:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  And.

• 10:14Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, okay.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Anyways.

• 10:16Caleb Hammer?

  Well, what's triggering you, triggering you around this house specifically?

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Any little, any little inconvenience to yourself.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Just small things.

• 10:21Caleb Hammer?

  Well, I mean, you do work sixty hours a week. I'm not saying your reaction's healthy, but I can see you, I mean, you probably, I mean, you get less sleep. Okay, I got that. So, but it's what you do with it. What happens in the house? Just kicking the bin?

• 10:35Speaker 03

  No, we have holes in the doors. He's kicked the doors.

• 10:39Caleb Hammer?

  Smaller shovel, smaller hole. Dude, you're not a twelve year old kid going through puberty.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm still emotionally like that unfortunately right now.

• 10:48Caleb Hammer?

  You're twenty-six.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Yes, I am.

• 10:50Caleb Hammer?

  Act like it. Grow the f- up. I'm not saying you can't make mistakes in life. We all do throughout all of life. But we're not kicking and putting holes in walls. How long have you guys been together?

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Going on nine years.

• 11:04Caleb Hammer?

  What the f-? Okay, well, well, you guys got together very, uh, young. Um, and not even concluding marriage, but I guess I'm not surprised. Why would you tie the knot? Getting with someone you're seeing essentially, like, and kind of like, kind of a dangerous household.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. And so, given his, you know, what's going on emotionally, how he's, has a very short fuse, I normally take the kids. I'll do most of the legwork.

• 11:31Caleb Hammer?

  There's kids. Did I miss that?

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 11:33Caleb Hammer?

  There's kids.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  We have two.

• 11:37Caleb Hammer?

  You're putting holes around the house when there's f- kids. You're kicking the cans when there's kids.

• 11:43Speaker 04

  I did that before we had kids, but I have done it times.

• 11:47Caleb Hammer?

  While you have kids?

• 11:48Speaker 04

  I have done it.

• 11:48Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, you're a freak. Okay. What, what, what does he raise his voice to? How loud does it get? We're on these kids, a four year old. They have memories now.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, he can, he can get pretty loud. Um, our latest argument, I think, was when we were cleaning. Um, and it's just the little shit, like, our daughter, she's four, she's still learning to clean up after herself. She's still learning to, like, you know, how to organize and do things. Um, so he gets very irritated that she doesn't know how to do that yet. Um, and she shuts down because we, um, are in the process of trying to get her diagnosed of being like on the spectrum. Um, but we're not, we're waiting on a doctor's appointment for that. Anyways, besides the point, but, um, he is very angry that she does not pick up.

• 12:35Caleb Hammer?

  How does he act towards the kid?

• 12:36Speaker 03

  At first, you're very calm, but after a certain point, it escalates to.

• 12:42Caleb Hammer?

  To?

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Yelling and.

• 12:44Caleb Hammer?

  At the kid?

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:45Caleb Hammer?

  No.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:47Caleb Hammer?

  How, after, after what certain point? No, no, no. I'm not grazing past that. After what certain point?

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Maybe like three times of asking her to pick something up?

• 12:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'd say so.

• 12:58Caleb Hammer?

  The four year old?

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:00Caleb Hammer?

  Diagnosed autism?

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Not yet.

• 13:03Caleb Hammer?

  Hmm.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Working on the doctor's appointment.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  We're pretty sure she does, yeah.

• 13:06Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, we'll see. Okay.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  But she was, she was referred from her pediatrician's to the, um, the autism center.

• 13:12Caleb Hammer?

  What's he yelling? At the kid?

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Yes, of like, just like.

• 13:15Caleb Hammer?

  What's he yelling at the kid?

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Like, you need to pick up your things, like, pick this up, put it in the bin. And, but she.

• 13:21Caleb Hammer?

  But screaming?

• 13:21Speaker 03

  Yes. She'll start crying and she'll shut down of course.

• 13:25Caleb Hammer?

  It's a four year old. What the f- are you thinking? What is wrong with you?

• 13:30Speaker 04

  I don't really think at the time when I'm doing it. I'm just mad.

• 13:33Caleb Hammer?

  How frequently?

• 13:35Speaker 03

  On a weekly basis.

• 13:36Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, you don't think, but it happens every f- week, dude.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:39Caleb Hammer?

  This is a kid. We don't f- around with kids.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  Yes, sir. I try not to, but.

• 13:43Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, sir? F- you, yes, sir. You're out there literally doing it on a weekly basis. Don't yes, sir me, you pathetic rat, worm, freak? What are you talking about? You do this on a daily basis. Don't show up here and yes, sir me. You're screaming at the f- kid. What is wrong with you? Trying to look good, yes, sir, f- you. This is a child. We don't f- with kids. If it's another adult, maybe, okay, we can talk about it. This is a kid you're screaming at. On a weekly basis, screaming and throwing things? Tell me about the throwing things. Good f-.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Um, he likes to throw like, when, when she's not picking up her toys, he'll, he'll just throw them back in the bins.

• 14:28Caleb Hammer?

  Well, she's there.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  And just start cleaning up that way.

• 14:34Caleb Hammer?

  The blame's on him a hundred percent, but I do have to put a little blame on you for a second. Oh, why'd you produce another one with this? When that's happening? Because these kids don't consent to the coming to the world. I have to ask this and then I'll lay into him, trust me. But why? Why do we bring another one?

• 14:48Speaker 03

  The second one was not planned. It was an accident.

• 14:51Caleb Hammer?

  Were you having sex unprotected?

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Yes, this is true.

• 14:53Caleb Hammer?

  Were you on birth control?

• 14:54Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:55Caleb Hammer?

  Go f- yourself then. Do you know how biology works?

• 15:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm in health fair.

• 15:00Caleb Hammer?

  So shut up unplanned. You're doing everything it takes to do it. And how frequently is he throwing things?

• 15:08Speaker 03

  Uh, we go through this pretty much every week when we clean up the house.

• 15:11Caleb Hammer?

  Jeez, f- sake.

• 15:17Caleb Hammer?

  So what happens between you two in this situation?

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Um, normally, just like the child's, um, the children, I mean, the child's not a word. Um, I end up shutting down as well, just because I can't, I, I do not.

• 15:30Caleb Hammer?

  You're not protecting them?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  I try to.

• 15:32Caleb Hammer?

  How?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  I normally end up taking the kids, um, and trying to calm them down at the same time.

• 15:39Caleb Hammer?

  Where do you take them?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  We're still in the same house. Um, because we don't have any other place to take them, or I'll try to calm her down, or I'll take over cleaning and tell him like, hey, just go do whatever. I got it. It's fine. I'll take care of it. And then I'll end up, um, getting our daughter, like, you know, I'll set her up on the couch or something and put on one of her favorite TV shows. Um, and then I'll just finish cleaning out the mess.

• 16:03Caleb Hammer?

  When was the last time there was a meltdown?

• 16:07Speaker 04

  When we had our argument.

• 16:12Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Which was like the week, the week before we came here.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:14Caleb Hammer?

  So a week ago? What happened then?

• 16:17Speaker 03

  Um, the big argument was in front of the kids, um, was he was getting very angry throwing things and just being like passive aggressive and obnoxious.

• 16:27Caleb Hammer?

  Just a week ago?

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:30Caleb Hammer?

  Me, man. Well, I guess that lines up with every week. What triggered him?

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Um, I was sitting on the couch, trying to, you know, I was about to get up and clean and he got angry that I wasn't doing anything and helping him.

• 16:45Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, potential re- reasonable to be upset at. Now, what you do next either becomes reasonable or unreasonable. Continue.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Um, but you know, as the way that I grew up, going back to a little bit there, um, it was a very, it was a very, not a very good upbringing at all. So I shut down when he gets very angry.

• 17:06Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  And it causes me a lot of anxiety.

• 17:09Caleb Hammer?

  Hold on, I don't, I don't, I know, I get that. That part's fine. But you weren't cleaning. What did he do? That's what I want to know.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Then we started.

• 17:14Caleb Hammer?

  I understand you shut down, but what did he do to make you shut down?

• 17:17Speaker 03

  He starts, when he starts cleaning, like the instant, instantly when he starts cleaning, it's very passive aggressive and throwing things and being annoyed and.

• 17:25Caleb Hammer?

  Passive aggressive? Like, what's he doing? Give me an example.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  Throwing the toys back in the bins, um, walking around, stomping his feet.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  You have like toy bins.

• 17:32Caleb Hammer?

  When you're cleaning, why, why aren't you just picking up? Did you're dead with kids? Why aren't you just picking up? Why are you stomping around, throwing shit?

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Uh, I have no excuse for it. I just get angry and that's just what I do.

• 17:43Caleb Hammer?

  Why though? Why is that your reaction? Why are you so upset at it?

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Because it irritates me, because, um, whenever, uh, I'd get off, so I worked my second job Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And I try, uh, while she was on maternity leave, well, unpaid maternity leave, I would get home Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And before I would go to my second job, I would try my best to help pick up the house and get all of like her toys that she had, uh, left everywhere. I'd pick them up, put them in the bin, and then when I would get home at like, uh, between twelve or one, uh, the house would look like a bomb had went off again.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  But mind you, at the same time though, I had a C-section, so I couldn't physically get up and clean as much as I used to be able to.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  And that's why I would get angry whenever I would try to get our daughter to clean. Or not clean, but like pick up her toys, like when she's done playing with them, they'll put it, put it back in there.

• 18:43Caleb Hammer?

  Right, but do you, we blow the f- up when they don't?

• 18:47Speaker 04

  I do.

• 18:48Caleb Hammer?

  You do, once a week at a minimum.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  It got to the point to where when we had our first baby, um.

• 18:54Caleb Hammer?

  Four year old, yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  She, his, his mother took her for a good part of her life because.

• 18:59Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 19:00Speaker 03

  His mom was.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Twenty twenty-two?

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. His mom was physically afraid that he would hurt her. So we missed like.

• 19:08Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my, what is happening? Who am I talking to right now? That is insane. What did she see for that to happen?

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Um, just his anger in general. And like, I would call her on the phone because I had really bad postpartum, um, being my first child. So I would call her a lot of times crying because our first child, she had a lot of medical things going on. So I would cry, call her crying because I didn't have any help. And he got very angry very easily with her because she wanted to take a bottle. Um, she was coughing up a lot of stuff. Um, she was having a hard time breathing. So she, his mom ended up taking her for a good part of her life.

• 19:46Caleb Hammer?

  How long?

• 19:47Speaker 03

  About six months.

• 19:50Caleb Hammer?

  Now, this is my fucking concern. Bro hasn't stopped in four years with his anger issues. Why is this the last chance?

• 20:00Speaker 03

  Because I thought that he would change.

• 20:02Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you think that? Huh?

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Cause he said that he would.

• 20:06Caleb Hammer?

  When?

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Multiple occasions.

• 20:08Caleb Hammer?

  And he didn't?

• 20:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 20:09Caleb Hammer?

  There is, he's a piece of shit. He's done. I've wrote him off. Okay? He's, now when I'm talking to you, you are someone that is able to make a choice. Why the fuck are you still there?

• 20:20Speaker 03

  So we-

• 20:20Caleb Hammer?

  It can't be in a house where it's brutal and abusive towards the kids. Roman shit at the kids, near the kids, near the kids.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:28Caleb Hammer?

  Screaming, screaming, top of the lungs screaming at the kids. Right?

• 20:33Speaker 04

  Not all the time.

• 20:34Caleb Hammer?

  Is he just talking like this? Or is like, what the fuck is going on here?

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's, he's pretty loud.

• 20:40Caleb Hammer?

  He's like that to the kids.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  He's pretty loud.

• 20:41Caleb Hammer?

  That's insane. That is disgusting. Why are you still there? Cause he's not gonna leave. You're the only one unfortunately that has the agency.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, it's because I came from a broken family. We both did.

• 20:52Caleb Hammer?

  Don't you wanna get away then?

• 20:54Speaker 03

  I do, and I wanna break those generational curses, but I always-

• 20:57Caleb Hammer?

  But you're not. You're literally just staying. And again, to be clear, I know I'm ranting on you right now. That's cause I've crossed him off my list. He's done. You are the person that can leave.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  Because I thought that keeping our family together is better.

• 21:10Caleb Hammer?

  Is it? When that family gets screamed at once a week and stomped and thrown?

• 21:16Caleb Hammer?

  Is it? Is that really better?

• 21:18Speaker 03

  No, it's not. Not at all. It's very-

• 21:20Caleb Hammer?

  Then this is your last chance. How is this your last chance? You guys broke up previously, right?

• 21:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 21:24Caleb Hammer?

  When'd you break up?

• 21:25Speaker 03

  The, uh, 2024.

• 21:27Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, so the kid was very much in the picture.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 21:30Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, how long were you broken up?

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Uh, about six months.

• 21:33Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you get back together?

• 21:34Speaker 03

  Because that was the time, the 2024 was my first breaking point, and that's when I left. And that's when I actually, that's when the cheating comes into play.

• 21:43Caleb Hammer?

  There's cheating now?

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 21:46Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my-

• 21:49Caleb Hammer?

  Guys, what the fuck are we doing here?

• 21:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, she cheated.

• 21:54Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, she cheated?

• 21:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:55Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you know what? Maybe the first reasonable time.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can't disagree with that.

• 22:00Caleb Hammer?

  No shit, piece of shit. Stop trying to look good. You sitting here quiet talking. Yeah, yes, sir. Yeah, I'm so bad. Fuck you. What's wrong with you? We'll get into that in a bit, but I still need to know what's going on in the household today. How many holes are in the walls in this house? Walking around.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Um, just the one and then the door.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:25Caleb Hammer?

  That's not a house for kids.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 22:28Caleb Hammer?

  Where shit is being thrown.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  It's very similar to how I grew up and it's very-

• 22:31Caleb Hammer?

  Great. This is like the fourth time you said that. I'm very confused why you're there then. It's like, you grew up with it, you hate it, but you're like, yay, let's do it again. Were any of your parents abusive?

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:45Caleb Hammer?

  Why the fuck are you being with an abusive piece of shit?

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Because I thought that keeping my family together was better and I do love him. And it's, yeah, it's very hard and I don't wanna leave.

• 22:54Caleb Hammer?

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• 23:38Caleb Hammer?

  The launch offer and referral games are only up for a limited time. After that, financial sugar daddy Caleb is gone. Click the link in the description below and get in the game. If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict-

• 24:13Speaker 00

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• 24:38Caleb Hammer?

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• 25:00Speaker 03

  I'm tired of the yelling. I'm tired of the abuse, basically. I'm tired of everything and I just want change.

• 25:07Caleb Hammer?

  So he ever put his hands on you?

• 25:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:10Caleb Hammer?

  Really?

• 25:11Speaker 03

  And that's, that was my one breaking point back in 2024, cause I know the signs.

• 25:15Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 25:16Speaker 03

  My, like him starting to put his hands on me.

• 25:18Caleb Hammer?

  You said no, and now you're saying he started to?

• 25:20Speaker 03

  No, that, I know the signs.

• 25:22Speaker 04

  Of someone starting to-

• 25:23Speaker 03

  Someone starting to like-

• 25:25Caleb Hammer?

  Did he start to?

• 25:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:26Caleb Hammer?

  What are, what are you saying?

• 25:28Speaker 03

  So in 2024, when I first left, that's why I left, because it was getting to the point to where if I didn't leave, it was going to happen.

• 25:38Caleb Hammer?

  What was happening? Tell me. I need to know.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  The yelling, the screaming, the stomping, throwing things.

• 25:43Caleb Hammer?

  Well, that's the same as today.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 25:46Caleb Hammer?

  So what's the difference? Why would you come back into that? I'm confused. You literally just copied and pasted exactly what's happening now. So what? I'm confused.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  That's when we got back together about six months later, when he said that he was gonna change.

• 25:58Caleb Hammer?

  But that was a year and a half ago now.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 26:00Caleb Hammer?

  If that made you leave the first time, the last year and a half, that's never crossed your head?

• 26:08Speaker 03

  It has. A lot.

• 26:10Caleb Hammer?

  What pushed you out the door the first time though that is not there today? Again, you're kinda copying and pasting answers, not giving me specifics. What happened to you that got you out of the house that is not existing today or within the last year and a half?

• 26:27Speaker 03

  I would say at that time I was working two jobs and I had money to be able to live on my own.

• 26:33Caleb Hammer?

  It's a financial thing today. Thank you. That's an actual answer. You're right. 1,700, you wouldn't be able to live on your own, especially with two kids.

• 26:44Caleb Hammer?

  Who in y'all's life knows what's happening at this household?

• 26:48Speaker 03

  The roommate.

• 26:49Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, the, yeah, the roommate. That's right. You're special.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  My best friend, Sarah.

• 26:54Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, what does Sarah think?

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Um, Sarah knows that it's not the best living situation. She actually no longer lives with us because of the roommate.

• 27:03Caleb Hammer?

  Because of the roommate. Okay, we'll get into the roommate in a bit. He was very excited to talk about the roommate at the beginning. Seems to be his issue when clearly I think the issue is he screams at you and throws shit. I scream at them cause I got consent. Did you get consent to scream at her and throw shit?

• 27:18Speaker 04

  No.

• 27:19Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  So-

• 27:21Caleb Hammer?

  So what's the dynamic at house right now? Or do you consider yourselves fiancees?

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, I do wear the ring that, um, his mom had.

• 27:29Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my gosh. Uh, do you guys sleep in the same bed?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  No, I currently sleep on the couch.

• 27:33Caleb Hammer?

  And why is that?

• 27:34Speaker 03

  Um, it's easier cause our newborn does not sleep very well.

• 27:37Caleb Hammer?

  That's why?

• 27:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, he doesn't like sleeping in his-

• 27:40Caleb Hammer?

  You wanna sleep in the bed with someone who screams at you on a multi-day basis?

• 27:45Speaker 03

  Well, no, but the bed is more comfortable than the couch.

• 27:48Caleb Hammer?

  Hmm, hmm. Okay.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  We don't have intimacy either anymore, cause I sleep on the couch.

• 27:54Caleb Hammer?

  I'm sure not. Well, I mean, you don't have to sleep together, but, okay, how often we-

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Not at all.

• 28:00Caleb Hammer?

  When was the last time?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  A while. Probably before the baby was even born.

• 28:04Caleb Hammer?

  Mm-hmm. Has he ever pressured you?

• 28:06Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:07Caleb Hammer?

  Really? That would totally line up with his personality, but I'm glad to hear he doesn't.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  I, I know what no is.

• 28:14Caleb Hammer?

  Do you? Scream or yell or stop or throw or holes in the walls?

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it, it's a lot. So I sleep on the couch because of, one, I mean, the baby does not sleep well at all. He, and I know that he's working two jobs. I get it. He works a lot. And-

• 28:31Caleb Hammer?

  I can't believe how much you're defending a guy that is actually abusive. This is crazy.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  It is.

• 28:36Caleb Hammer?

  I mean, we all know that this is what happens, that the women in the situation will defend it, but to witness it live and in person-

• 28:43Speaker 03

  I do defend him a lot.

• 28:44Caleb Hammer?

  Blowing my mind. No shit. Probably to Sarah, right?

• 28:48Speaker 03

  I do.

• 28:48Caleb Hammer?

  Probably to the family, the friends, the roommate.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  I defend him a lot with a lot of everyone.

• 28:53Caleb Hammer?

  Why? Why possibly? Just because you love him doesn't mean he's a good guy. Doesn't mean he's a good parent. Doesn't mean he's a good partner. Doesn't mean your relationship is good. Doesn't mean this is healthy for your kids. I'm not saying you don't love him. Love can be toxic.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  It is a very toxic relationship. We do not communicate well because of it.

• 29:11Caleb Hammer?

  So tell me about that then. And if, if we're gonna go through this conversation, go through the finances, tell me how we're communicating at the house.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Not at all. Um, I, I don't like to really talk a lot about certain things, about anything at all, because I know that he's gonna get angry.

• 29:25Caleb Hammer?

  Great. And how's that for the future of our relationship? We can't talk cause he's gonna get angry, blow up, throw things, smash things, yell.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  I've tried to talk to her.

• 29:34Caleb Hammer?

  And?

• 29:35Speaker 04

  She doesn't wanna talk to me.

• 29:36Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Here, buddy. You know what? We gave 26 minutes of, uh, kinda figuring her out. Give me your side of the story. Let's see if there's something.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  Uh-

• 29:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just work two jobs. I'm always tired.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  You're also always tired because you don't take care of yourself.

• 29:56Caleb Hammer?

  Let's try to give him. Oh, wow. What does that mean?

• 29:59Speaker 04

  I have, um, a thyroid, the, what is it?

• 30:03Speaker 03

  He has Hashimoto's.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Um, he does not help.

• 30:05Caleb Hammer?

  Sounds like a fucking bite of sushi. I don't know. What is that? Tell me.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  It's.

• 30:09Speaker 04

  A thyroid autoimmune disease that, uh, my body attacks my thyroid. So I don't have energy. I don't have.

• 30:15Caleb Hammer?

  That classically makes people abuse their children.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Never.

• 30:19Caleb Hammer?

  Go on.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 30:20Caleb Hammer?

  So what does that do?

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Well, he's just not on any type of medication.

• 30:22Speaker 04

  Tired. I have no energy.

• 30:25Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Drink caffeine. I don't know.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  Caffeine doesn't do it.

• 30:28Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, but this is the reality of your situation. I don't understand how that leads to abuse, but go ahead. Continue. And let's try to not interrupt him. Give me your side of the story.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  Um, whenever, uh, like I do try to talk to her and ask her about certain things, she'll just like immediately snap and start yelling at me.

• 30:42Caleb Hammer?

  She snaps?

• 30:43Speaker 04

  She can, yes.

• 30:44Caleb Hammer?

  Tell me about that.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  Uh, like it'll just be like a normal question. Like if I'm making dinner one night and I ask her like, uh, what is she normally puts in the dinner? Cause she norm, she cooks as well, but she's a better cook than me. Cause I didn't really cook much. So, uh, I ask her what she normally puts in it. And then like, I'll ask her, I'm like, hey babe, what do you put in this? And then it's just instantly, I don't know. You do it. It's, you know what goes in it. My normal stuff. And I'm like, and what is that? Please? So I, I know, and I don't mess it up.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  But you also need like legit step and step instructions to do anything.

• 31:18Caleb Hammer?

  I just need a list of ingredients. So you scream at him too?

• 31:21Speaker 03

  Every now and then.

• 31:22Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, do you scream at the kids?

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Um, when I'm very, very overstimulated, I can, uh, but that's at the point of my breaking point at nighttime.

• 31:34Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. So you're both pieces of shit.

• 31:40Caleb Hammer?

  Should I just go rescue the kids? Like what, what, what am I doing here? What am I doing here, guys? What can I do? Can someone inform me?

• 31:51Speaker 04

  For what? We need help with?

• 31:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:54Caleb Hammer?

  Help with? You guys need to get away from each other and your kids.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  A lot of my anger towards the kids ends up being at nighttime when I have done everything myself.

• 32:04Caleb Hammer?

  And trauma is, uh, known for being less permanent if it happens at night. What? Okay. Go on, I guess. Tell me.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  So I'm with the kids 24/7.

• 32:14Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, you're mother and you work less. Okay? I got it.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  But so it comes from when everything's happening all at once and I don't have any hope. Um, he can be sitting on the couch, watching something on his phone, reading, doing something.

• 32:28Caleb Hammer?

  Well, he probably does honestly deserve a little bit more downtime. If, if I'm throwing away my hatred of both of you, yeah, 60 hours a week, he probably needs a bit more time for recovery, especially with his medical condition. So, okay, go on.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  And it's, it just gets overwhelming to the point to where it's when I'm at my absolute breaking point. I stop to make dinner. The baby is cluster feeding. It won't take the bottle. Uh, it, our daughter is screaming crying because she needs an activity. She wants something to watch on TV. She's hungry, of course, all the things. Um, the animals still need to be fed. Um, I'm just getting home at 7:00 PM at nighttime and still need to do A, B, C, D. I haven't even had time to take off my scrubs. And everyone's clinging to me saying, mommy, mommy, mommy, I need this. I need that. Dinner still needs to be made.

• 33:12Caleb Hammer?

  And then what happens?

• 33:13Speaker 03

  And then I get overstimulated and I'm tired and it's, I just end up breaking down.

• 33:19Caleb Hammer?

  Again, I will help you here. You have to describe what that is. You, you, you both give like the shortest version answer of everything. This is a podcast. You tell stories. Let's try it again. What happens? You break down. What is that?

• 33:35Speaker 03

  I normally end up yelling or crying and I.

• 33:39Caleb Hammer?

  You yelling? Who are you yelling at? Come on, please.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm, I'm literally yelling at literally just open air at this point. I not, I don't really talk to anyone in particular when I'm yelling.

• 33:49Caleb Hammer?

  No one's around.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  Cause no one's around.

• 33:50Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Not your kids.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  And not really, no. Very, like, the only time if, if I yell at the, the child, it's because she's literally coming up to me.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  And

• 34:06Speaker 03

  how am I trying to say this?

• 34:07Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. The four year old autism runs up to you.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Most of the time she's either beating me, um, cause she likes to come up and hit me a lot and hit me and hit me and hit me and hit me.

• 34:21Caleb Hammer?

  It's not great. Okay.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  And that kind of throws me off. And then I normally tell her just like, stop, stop hitting me. Give me five seconds, please. And it's more like that type of yelling, other than not like in her face screaming, yelling type stuff. It's me just having an annoyed type attitude towards her.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  If that makes sense.

• 34:39Caleb Hammer?

  Is that true?

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Normally when that happens, I'm at work, so I don't see any of it.

• 34:43Caleb Hammer?

  Hmm. Because I'm able to, I, I trust her when she says what you do. I don't know if I trust her when she says what she does. And I wish I could hear what actually happened. Cause I'm being on camera. Everyone's going to try to make themselves sound better. He's been doing it all an episode. So before we get into these fire answers, then for the sake of the context of this relationship, which I can't believe I'm even gonna do this for you guys, but whatever. Two years ago, you said cheating.

• 35:11Caleb Hammer?

  And it sounds like you did.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:12Caleb Hammer?

  Tell me.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Two years ago, that was my absolute breaking point when I was.

• 35:16Caleb Hammer?

  Your favorite word.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Yes. It is my favorite word. Um, Michael was being at his most of yelling, slamming things, all like being very emotionally abusive, yelling at the kids. Well, the one child at the time, um.

• 35:33Caleb Hammer?

  So disgusting. I feel disgusted.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  I was very not in a good position and it scared me. I was honestly scared of him. Thinking that the next, the next point was going to be either he was going to put hands on our daughter or me.

• 35:46Caleb Hammer?

  That is totally true.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  So I wanted out, but I was too afraid to tell him that I wanted out.

• 35:51Caleb Hammer?

  That is fair.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  So I.

• 35:53Caleb Hammer?

  You'd have to kind of just leave.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I end up, one of the people that I used to know when I went like back, like a few years ago, um, came into the restaurant that I was working at the time. And at first it was just back and forth of being friends. You know, we kind of like reconnected that way. And then I end up telling him like everything, like what was going on personally. Because obviously like I'm good at kind of like masking things of how I feel in general.

• 36:18Caleb Hammer?

  Most abuse victims do.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Um, but it came to the point to where it became very apparent in my, um, everyday life, something was wrong. And that's when he was like, what's wrong? You needed, like, what's going on? And I told him everything and he was like, you need to leave. Um, and then we ended up just having an emotional, like, like type connection again, like that. Um, and we started seeing each other.

• 36:40Caleb Hammer?

  How frequently? How long was this going on? Like when, when, when were you seeing him? How? Where? Cause he's working all the time. You're working and then there's kids at home. How was this happening?

• 36:49Speaker 03

  So we, it was at the time when I was working two jobs, uh, before he worked two jobs. Cause before he refused to get a second job.

• 36:55Caleb Hammer?

  When were you seeing him? How frequently?

• 36:57Speaker 03

  Um, he came into the restaurant a couple of times and then it was just talking and texting. And then we only saw each other maybe like three, four times before, um, he found out that I was cheating and he left.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  Find out. You gave him my phone number and he messaged me telling me that y'all had sex before.

• 37:17Caleb Hammer?

  That's a bad strategy.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. But at the same time, I was literally afraid of you. I didn't know what you would say. I didn't know what you would do. I didn't know how.

• 37:24Caleb Hammer?

  Would you give that guy his phone number?

• 37:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. And then he just constantly messaged me and berated me, called me.

• 37:29Caleb Hammer?

  The guy?

• 37:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:30Caleb Hammer?

  Saying what? Doing what?

• 37:31Speaker 04

  That, uh, if he seen me, he'd beat me up. That if it came down to it, he's coming to my location.

• 37:37Caleb Hammer?

  He loves. I mean, I actually kind of get that.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  I don't believe he loved her. He was using her. I mean, she paid for his phone for months.

• 37:44Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. That's also weird, but, um, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you guys sort of.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:49Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  So that started maybe early, mid 2024.

• 37:55Caleb Hammer?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  Um, and then he, that's when I told him, like, you know, I was afraid to tell him anything. I was afraid of him physically, emotionally, everything.

• 38:03Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  So he decided, well, why don't I tell him? And I'm like, are you sure that's even a good idea?

• 38:09Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you guys even want to tell him? I'm so confused on that. So I could get out. Built the relationship and then just left and went with him.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, that could have probably also done. I don't know.

• 38:20Caleb Hammer?

  Well, yeah, you're in a dangerous situation. I don't understand why we're poking the bear. I really don't. But okay. So he told him, I guess. Then what happened?

• 38:28Speaker 03

  And then at that point, um, he still wanted me, he still wanted to fix things. And this was at the point to where.

• 38:35Caleb Hammer?

  The abuser did. Shocker.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  And at that point I said that I was done. I had already offered prior, um, counseling and everything, and he didn't want to do it. So I was, I said, no. And that's when him, he left the house. Um, and we didn't get back together until about six months later.

• 38:57Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you go back?

• 39:00Speaker 03

  I went back because I ended up splitting with the guy that I had cheated on him with because...

• 39:06Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration blog, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses. Setup required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18+

• 39:31Speaker 03

  I found that he, you know, was a narcissistic asshole. He is Lord Farquad, as we like to call him.

• 39:38Caleb Hammer?

  And he cheated on her?

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  And he was also talking to an underage girl at the time as well?

• 39:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:43Caleb Hammer?

  Hidden every classic financial topic today.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know how to pick them, apparently.

• 39:49Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you stay with them.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  So...

• 39:53Caleb Hammer?

  So, I don't understand, but that...

• 39:55Speaker 04

  And then she got with another one.

• 39:56Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 39:57Speaker 04

  And then after him, she got with another guy who ended up in jail.

• 40:00Caleb Hammer?

  What the is wrong with you, dude?

• 40:02Speaker 03

  A lot of things.

• 40:03Caleb Hammer?

  What did that go to? What did he go to jail for?

• 40:05Speaker 03

  Um, he got a DUI in my car.

• 40:07Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my gosh, with your kids in the car?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:09Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, okay. And that was before getting back with him?

• 40:11Speaker 03

  Yes. So...

• 40:13Caleb Hammer?

  Why back with him? I feel like you feel like you need to be with someone. Because that's the only reason you went back with him. That's the only reason you got with that other guy after the other dude cheated with you with an underage girl. Crazy. Um, I feel like you just need to be with someone. I think, listen, it's not bad to be with someone, but you needing to be with someone is putting you in sketchy situations.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it really has. So...

• 40:37Caleb Hammer?

  Do you abuse her?

• 40:38Speaker 04

  Emotionally, I can't not say that, but I don't...

• 40:44Caleb Hammer?

  That's insane.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  Don't think I physically.

• 40:47Caleb Hammer?

  I didn't say physically. I said abuse. And you're fully acknowledging right now that you abuse her.

• 40:52Speaker 04

  If yelling and throwing stuff, yeah, then I...

• 40:56Caleb Hammer?

  Raise your hand if that's abuse, please. I need to make sure.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:59Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, everyone agrees that it's abuse. Okay, very good. You need to make sure I wasn't just like too sensitive or something. Shut up, liberal. I don't know.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  I wasn't disagreeing. I was just...

• 41:08Caleb Hammer?

  No, no, no. I'm just making sure I understand. So, you abuse her?

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 41:12Caleb Hammer?

  Do you abuse your child?

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Yes. If yelling is.

• 41:18Caleb Hammer?

  And throwing shit, yes.

• 41:23Caleb Hammer?

  Leave him.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  That is one thing that, you know, I've thought about, but I have, but as you can see, financially-wise, I can not...

• 41:37Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, I think his parents would let you move in. His mother would let you move in. Where's your family?

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Um, nonexistent, really.

• 41:45Caleb Hammer?

  But his mom already took the kid one time. Move in with her.

• 41:54Caleb Hammer?

  If it comes down to it, I'll get you first month, last month, and three months of rent if you need.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  I own a house, though.

• 41:59Caleb Hammer?

  Kick him out. The court will be on your side. He's abusive. Kick him out. Get on assistance. It is meant for people like you. That is not a bad thing.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  I have tried, but I guess because, like, assistant-wise, for like food stamps and that kind of stuff, but before, I guess because of where we live, they automatically put him on the application because of his name's on the birth certificate.

• 42:24Caleb Hammer?

  Kick him out. Do it. Kick him out. Tell them the court will help you. You're in Maryland. You're not in some, you know, not in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana. You're in a place where you will get help. Let's go through your head right now.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  It sucks for sure, but I mean, I can't argue against her if she wants to kick me out. I mean, obviously, I am abusive.

• 42:48Caleb Hammer?

  All right, kick him out. That's it. That's it. This is like, what the... What's holding you back at this point?

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Because I know that he will live in a tent again.

• 42:57Caleb Hammer?

  I don't care. He's an abusive person. I don't give a shit. Good. Good for him. Good for us as a civilization. Yippee, maybe a storm will wash him away. What? So?

• 43:08Speaker 03

  I would feel extremely bad knowing that he's living in a tent.

• 43:11Caleb Hammer?

  No, no. Not abusers. We don't feel bad about abusers. No, no. We don't do that. Couples raise their voice at each other. That happens. It's not always the best thing, but it happens. Heated things happen in years and years of being together. Not on a multi-day-a-week occurrence, and not with kids, and not with throwing things, and not with holes in the wall, and not with an admitted abuser.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  I just can't see him living in a tent. Again, he was living in a tent before. I felt bad.

• 43:40Caleb Hammer?

  He'll go to a homeless shelter. When was he living in a tent?

• 43:43Speaker 03

  When we first split in 2024.

• 43:45Caleb Hammer?

  What? Why'd you live in a tent, freak?

• 43:47Speaker 04

  Because I didn't want to go live with my mom, because she didn't have a house.

• 43:50Caleb Hammer?

  You make money. Get a place. You make $4,200 a month.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  Not at that time, no.

• 43:56Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, he does now. He wouldn't be living in a tent now. He makes good money. Right? You wouldn't live in a tent if she kicked you out, correct?

• 44:02Speaker 04

  I'd try to find somewhere to live.

• 44:04Caleb Hammer?

  There we go. Did that solve the issue?

• 44:06Speaker 03

  It does, but at the same, I would still feel bad for kicking him out.

• 44:10Caleb Hammer?

  I abuse his kids? Like, how do I... I'm not equipped for this conversation. How do I do that? How, like, how do I navigate that?

• 44:21Speaker 04

  Definitely a hard thing to navigate.

• 44:23Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the up. I don't need your perspective on that. And I ask you, I don't give a shit what you're talking about. Fuck you.

• 44:32Caleb Hammer?

  I'm, I'll put you up, dude. I will, can, we'll send you resources, and I'll put a couple thousand bucks towards it. I'm happy to do that. You need to talk to someone. You feel bad? No. Hey, who do you care about more, your kids or him?

• 44:49Speaker 03

  I definitely put my children, I want to put my children first, above anything.

• 44:52Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you're not.

• 44:55Caleb Hammer?

  You're not.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, um, my kids have definitely suffered a lot from this.

• 45:00Caleb Hammer?

  Tell me.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  I can, I mean...

• 45:03Caleb Hammer?

  I mean...

• 45:03Speaker 03

  She's probably, she's...

• 45:07Caleb Hammer?

  Look, I spend a lot of time on this show telling people to stop avoiding things they actually need to deal with. For me, I've put off making my own doctor's appointments, so apparently, I also need somebody sitting across this table yelling at me. That's why this part of the video is sponsored by Zocdoc. Zocdoc lets you search and compare high-quality in-network doctors. They've got more than 150,000 providers across 200-plus specialties in all 50 states, and the website has tons of reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles, so you can actually choose what actually works for you. When I use it, I put in what I needed and filtered by my insurance. Instead of calling around just to find out whether an office could even see me, I had actual appointment openings in front of me

• 45:51Caleb Hammer?

  and could click instantly to book a visit. Your health matters, and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Ready to be seen? Head to zocdoc.com/caleb to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That is z-o-c-d-o-c.com/caleb. Back to the financial chaos. Guys, you've known me since the beginning, and the fact is, I just love building products that help people, and we're continuing to do that with Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever you want to use it for, whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior, or you need to purchase something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well. You can shop for the best credit builders that are either free or low-cost to you and build that credit.

• 46:32Caleb Hammer?

  We got debt forgiveness and debt consolidation as well. We got auto loans for your new car that are great rates, or you can refinance a horrible auto loan today. And not only that, now you can shop for the best car insurance out there. The thing is, we are building more and more of these to help you get the best tools and services that you can possibly get online at the best rates, so check those out at calebhammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  I know with how he is and her seeing how that is and the, how quick he is to just be, fly off the handle, be angry all the time, um, it's not good for her. That's how she's going to start reacting. And a lot of times, I can see that now. That's how she's reacting. Like, if she doesn't understand how to do something, or if she's like struggling to figure out what you're trying to say, or if she's trying to understand, and like, you can see it clicking in her brain, but she gets very irritated very easily, and she will then start to throw things, hit herself, and all the things, which can come from her being possibly on the spectrum, but also watching him every single day.

• 47:43Caleb Hammer?

  Every day for four years?

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:45Caleb Hammer?

  Besides six months that she had peace living with his mom? You need to save this kid. It's done. It's done. The decision has been made. What are you gonna do?

• 47:59Speaker 04

  What, when I get kicked out? Find somewhere to live?

• 48:02Caleb Hammer?

  Why didn't you in the last four years get help?

• 48:06Speaker 04

  Cause I-

• 48:07Caleb Hammer?

  Cause now you're gonna lose everything and you deserve it.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  I've tried therapy when I was younger and it didn't go anywhere.

• 48:13Caleb Hammer?

  Try it again.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  I offered to do therapy before and he did not want to until it was too late.

• 48:20Caleb Hammer?

  It's been too late. You're just lucky that it's hard for a spouse, especially one that has kids with you to leave.

• 48:31Caleb Hammer?

  What do you think your financial score is today? And I'm focusing on you here.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Um, a two.

• 48:38Caleb Hammer?

  For your Hammer financial score, get it for free at CalebHammer.com. See where you stand in the world of finances. It is new and improved, really specific on each category now, so you can see what you need to do to improve. So if you've taken it before, take it again. We've recently updated it. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the Dollar Wise Budgeting app. It's incredible. It's amazing. It is the perfect budgeting app for the average American instead of that over complicated bullshit where you stop using it after two weeks. Cause it's not even beneficial to you. It's just crazy. Check out the free trial, see if you like it. And if you do, which most do, they end up taking the annual version because it saves nearly 50%. And you get the physical version of my meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you and the digital version of the cookbook.

• 49:24Caleb Hammer?

  So let's go into this. And you brought up this roommate thing. We'll get into that in a second. I'll see if there's something there that is impactful to the situation. You guys clearly make it sound like it, but let's see.

• 49:38Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. I have a loan with a payment. Oh, this must be the mortgage.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  Yes, that is the mortgage.

• 49:46Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 49:49Caleb Hammer?

  A mortgage is never on the top of my documents. When it is, that means something scary is happening. What is happening?

• 49:59Speaker 03

  The mortgage is currently eight months behind.

• 50:01Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my shit. Eight months is insane. You guys do not make bad money. This is a pretty expensive mortgage payment for you specifically, but all y'all together.

• 50:17Caleb Hammer?

  One, three, two, three point five, four divided by your 5,900 a month net. It is 22% of your take home. What is the issue? What is possibly the issue?

• 50:30Speaker 03

  So this is where I believe Adam comes into play.

• 50:35Caleb Hammer?

  Ah, good old Adam. He's been rumored.

• 50:40Caleb Hammer?

  Buddy just took a sip of water. His whole body's breaking down.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  I haven't taken-

• 50:43Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, Adam, tell me about good old Adam. He's been brewing in the background this whole episode.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Adam lives with us. He's been living with us on and off and supporting him on and off for the past six years.

• 50:55Caleb Hammer?

  What do you mean supporting him?

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Um, he has not had a stable job since 2021.

• 51:02Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. What the fuck are you putting up with him?

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Michael normally puts up with him.

• 51:08Caleb Hammer?

  You own the house, right?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yes, I have a house.

• 51:11Caleb Hammer?

  So this is more of a tenant than a roommate?

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Yes. So-

• 51:15Caleb Hammer?

  Why are you letting someone that doesn't have a stable job history come live with you and rent a room?

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Because he literally had nothing.

• 51:21Caleb Hammer?

  But even still, I mean, no offense for what it's worth. And I'll let you tell this Adam thing, but

• 51:28Caleb Hammer?

  your guys' income and this mortgage is not dependent on taking in rent. It's still 22% of your net income regardless of if someone is paying in rent.

• 51:38Caleb Hammer?

  So how the fuck is he making or breaking you paying your rent? It's still 22% of your pay.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  We do not say no to him. If he wants to go out and eat, we go get him food.

• 51:48Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my gosh.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  If he wants something that he needs, we get it.

• 51:52Caleb Hammer?

  Why? What is your relationship with this guy?

• 51:54Speaker 04

  He's my best friend.

• 51:56Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, great. Which is why I was gonna say, why does a man live there and he hasn't stepped up against an abuser? Well, that would be why. He's your best friend, like childhood best friend?

• 52:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:08Caleb Hammer?

  I'm gonna, what are we doing? What are you doing? So now you're supporting two literal children, essentially.

• 52:15Speaker 03

  Essentially, yes.

• 52:15Caleb Hammer?

  On top of your actual two kids.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Precisely.

• 52:19Caleb Hammer?

  Why are you putting up with this? I can't believe I'm even gonna talk to you, but why are you, he's your friend. I have, if my friend, any of my friends, I would support my friends in a hard situation. I would not let them, I would not enable them their entire life because that is not gonna be beneficial to them at all. What the fuck are you doing? What's your perspective on this? And actually try to have one.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Uh, I would feel bad for kicking him out because he genuinely doesn't have anywhere to go. His, doesn't talk to his family. He would be homeless.

• 52:57Caleb Hammer?

  Well, but, but because you guys have enabled him. You've allowed him to not have a job for so long. Why would he ever need to have one? To put himself back up on his feet and be able to take care of himself outside of the house that you guys are all in right now.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  Well, he worked with me on my second job.

• 53:13Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my, what, the cleaning?

• 53:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  But that's only what, three, maybe two times a week?

• 53:19Speaker 04

  Right now, yeah, but he was working like all week.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  And you go, but that's because he says no.

• 53:24Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  He doesn't want to work.

• 53:25Caleb Hammer?

  He says no? And you allow this?

• 53:28Speaker 04

  I guess since I don't stand up to him, then yeah.

• 53:31Caleb Hammer?

  No shit? You'll stand up to your four-year-old but not to another man?

• 53:36Speaker 03

  He did once and then they fought physically.

• 53:39Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my, what happened? When? What?

• 53:42Speaker 04

  Last week.

• 53:43Caleb Hammer?

  Last week?

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Thankfully, me and the kids were not home when this happened or-

• 53:50Caleb Hammer?

  Wouldn't have stopped them.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  The cops would have been called and they both would have been out, out the house.

• 53:54Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, that would have been nice. I wish you were home. What happened?

• 53:58Speaker 04

  Uh, we were talking and then he, uh-

• 54:02Caleb Hammer?

  About what?

• 54:02Speaker 04

  He was basically saying, how's it feel to not have a car that I've been dealing with for years? And I was like, it doesn't really affect me as much as you do. Cause I, I have a way to get to work and like one of my coworkers can pick me up in the morning.

• 54:15Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 54:15Speaker 04

  So, uh, at that point, yeah, but at that point, he was just started yelling about other stuff. And then I started yelling back. I can't really remember. And then he like rushes up to me, pushes me, I push back. And then I pick him up and throw him on the floor.

• 54:30Caleb Hammer?

  How long did it go on? How intense was it?

• 54:32Speaker 04

  15 seconds.

• 54:33Caleb Hammer?

  Jeez. And that was just a week ago. What's the status now?

• 54:38Speaker 03

  He acts like nothing happened.

• 54:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Like they're back to normal, I think. Talking normally.

• 54:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  As they usually do and like bantering back and forth, still being friends, brother like that kind of shit.

• 54:53Caleb Hammer?

  Good fuck. So why would he ever improve his life?

• 54:57Speaker 04

  I guess there is no reason to.

• 54:58Caleb Hammer?

  You're gonna support him forever.

• 54:59Speaker 04

  I don't want to, no.

• 55:00Caleb Hammer?

  Great news. He makes good money. Adam will go be his roommate when you kick him out. Just solved your issue. Right?

• 55:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, you're not, you're not wrong. You're not lying.

• 55:10Caleb Hammer?

  No, I'm not.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  That would 100% fix the issue.

• 55:12Caleb Hammer?

  Why are you six months behind in your mortgage? I'm very confused on that because even if you do go out to eat here and there, all this stuff and the dude doesn't work, that doesn't make sense for why we are, you said six months or nine months?

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Eight.

• 55:23Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, good duck.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Right in the middle.

• 55:25Caleb Hammer?

  Wait, where's the foreclosure situation? Because eight months behind us.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  There is no full foreclosure currently. I have a, what they are mortgage company calls an RMA, which is a request for mortgage assistance. Um, so I've submitted our bank statements, pay stubs, all that kind of stuff.

• 55:42Caleb Hammer?

  And this isn't an Adam situation anymore. You missed payments. You were, you were full late payments in early 24, mid 24, mid 24, late 24. And then you had unknown, you must've been in an assistance program in early 25, then mid 25, you missed three in a row, then you made two, then you missed four in a row, and then you missed, oh, now that continues into year eight. Okay, actually you've paid one, two, three, four, five, six, seven mortgage payments in three years.

• 56:10Caleb Hammer?

  It's seven mortgage payments in three years. That is not an Adam thing. You do have some ownership on this. I'm not gonna lie.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration blog, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  And it's my paycheck goes completely into our joint account that we have together. Um, but his paycheck goes into only his account and I do not see that money. I don't know where it goes, none of that kind of stuff. Um, so I can't see all of the money completely as a whole to be able to pay things. And then when I go to want to pay something, there is no money to pay for it.

• 57:06Caleb Hammer?

  What happens? You guys, so you guys said you don't communicate about the finances. What have you tried to do in communication on the finances?

• 57:14Speaker 04

  Move both of our paychecks into the joint account, but I haven't talked to my boss to change it.

• 57:19Speaker 03

  Multiple times to change that, but it hasn't happened.

• 57:23Caleb Hammer?

  Well, why haven't you?

• 57:24Speaker 04

  I always forget while I'm at work to ask our boss.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Text her.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Yes, I know that and I don't.

• 57:33Caleb Hammer?

  For how long have you been requesting?

• 57:36Speaker 03

  A while since we opened that joint account.

• 57:38Caleb Hammer?

  Which was?

• 57:38Speaker 03

  When we, when we bought that truck in 2024.

• 57:43Caleb Hammer?

  Good, it's been two years and he hasn't, two and a half years. He's never going to in that case then. Two and a half isn't years isn't, oh, I got a little busy. You don't get busy for two and a half years.

• 57:55Caleb Hammer?

  He's deliberately choosing not to for whatever reason. Okay, you behind on the mortgage.

• 58:02Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 58:02Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 58:04Speaker 04

  Cause we buy other things or-

• 58:06Caleb Hammer?

  Why are you choosing to do that?

• 58:10Speaker 04

  Cause well, most of the time it's, uh, going to get food. Like I think she did the math and we spent like what, two or three grand in food in a month?

• 58:18Speaker 03

  May and June, when I really wanted to sit down and go through our finances, I went through our bank statements between our joint account, which is where my check goes into in his account. Between both accounts, about $1,900 was spent in eating out between McDonald's, Arby's, all that other shit and most-

• 58:32Caleb Hammer?

  Are your kids fat? Cause you're fat.

• 58:35Speaker 04

  No.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  I just had a baby too, like three months ago.

• 58:37Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, but I mean, you're, I think that's, I think you are the, you're fat and-

• 58:42Speaker 03

  You know, you're not gonna, yeah, pretty chubby.

• 58:44Caleb Hammer?

  Fat and the babies, the kids?

• 58:48Speaker 03

  No.

• 58:48Caleb Hammer?

  Not the, okay, the four-year-old? No? Really? Not chubby?

• 58:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  No.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  You wanna see a picture?

• 58:53Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:57Caleb Hammer?

  Just don't show it to your ex.

• 59:00Caleb Hammer?

  Get it?

• 59:02Caleb Hammer?

  Cause he's into children, okay.

• 59:06Speaker 03

  Oh, I gotta find a real picture that doesn't

• 59:08Caleb Hammer?

  How do you feel that she over you?

• 59:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, that definitely was a weird thing to find out about.

• 59:16Caleb Hammer?

  Kind of crazy when you're worse than a

• 59:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:21Caleb Hammer?

  That should make you reconsider your life choices. Okay, yeah, not fat. Will be.

• 59:27Caleb Hammer?

  You guys are eating out 2,000 bucks a month at McDonald's and shit. Like, what are we doing?

• 59:30Speaker 03

  That's the thing.

• 59:30Caleb Hammer?

  And it's in your genes.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  We're not the ones eating it.

• 59:33Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, Adam? 2,000 hours of fast food went to Adam?

• 59:36Speaker 04

  Not all of it.

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Not all of it essentially, but

• 59:38Caleb Hammer?

  Then what?

• 59:39Speaker 03

  The majority of it went to Adam.

• 59:41Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Um. Have you argued to kick Adam out?

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:47Caleb Hammer?

  And what happened in that conversation?

• 59:49Speaker 03

  At the end of the conversation, we both realized that he has nowhere to go and we feel extremely bad if he were to live in a tent again.

• 59:54Caleb Hammer?

  Even you do. What is with this tent thing?

• 59:56Speaker 03

  They both lived in a tent.

• 59:57Caleb Hammer?

  Hey, maybe he will figure it out in these two because he's an adult. He's 26, too, as well, right?

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  He's 27.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  He's 27.

• 1:00:04Caleb Hammer?

  27. I think he can figure out his life. See a drug addict?

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  I mean, he smokes a lot of weed.

• 1:00:11Caleb Hammer?

  No, well, that's not like, like, come on.

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  Car corner.

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Caleb Hammer?

  He doesn't.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  No, he doesn't.

• 1:00:15Caleb Hammer?

  So he won't be homeless out of the sake of drug addiction and schizophrenia and shit like that. He will figure his shit out, and if he doesn't, he is a failure of the market. Whoopsie. His problem. There's also services and shelters and shit there. I guarantee it.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Oh, no, we have 100%. We have a lot of different opportunities.

• 1:00:33Caleb Hammer?

  Choosing to live in a tent is them choosing to live in a tent. You cannot make your entire world and life's choices based on of what another person chooses to do, not forced to do, chooses to do.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  I think it comes down to me being an absolute people pleaser and feeling I just feel like I have to please everyone to be happy.

• 1:00:57Caleb Hammer?

  Great. So continue having your kids abused.

• 1:01:02Caleb Hammer?

  Good?

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  No, not good.

• 1:01:04Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, then what?

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  I don't want to be completely, I don't want that to happen. I want him to change. And I want to have a not broken family.

• 1:01:12Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, your house is worth 200,000, so 3, your house is worth 120,000 more than it's than it's worth. Sell it. Pay off your debt. Start a clean new life on a budget and date in a healthy way instead of getting weirdos, okay? Maybe move to a better place. Pay off debt, have a fully funded emergency fund, use it to get yourself in a better career position. I'll get you a course career certification, congratulations, woo, yippee. People in the audience, you're not getting one. People in the audience have used it to, you know, get six-figure jobs, trade, tech, whatever you want. Uh, it's an incredible platform and product, but

• 1:01:50Caleb Hammer?

  I mean, this, you can get, dude, you can get a cash offer from Zillow in three minutes and they're valuing it at 300,000. Like, even if they give you 280, you walk away with 100.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  And that's probably before it's actually like we've done some renovations to the house.

• 1:02:06Caleb Hammer?

  Well, yeah, that's probably not gonna do much these days, but even still, even still. Plus a house like that, I don't know. Weed's being grown in the backyard.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:15Caleb Hammer?

  By who?

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  Adam.

• 1:02:17Caleb Hammer?

  What are we gonna do if we get caught? That's a CPS phone call. Right?

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:24Caleb Hammer?

  Is it legal? What are you, a cop?

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  Yes. Apparently in Maryland.

• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  Two plants per person.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  Two plants per person.

• 1:02:31Caleb Hammer?

  And there's only six plants?

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  I haven't wanted to look back there.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  And some of them have probably died by now.

• 1:02:38Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Hmm. Hmm hmm. Has anyone ever called CPS on you guys?

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  No, but I think when our first daughter was, um, taken by his mother, um, his aunt had to physically take the baby back away from his mother to be able to give her back to us because it, we think

• 1:02:57Caleb Hammer?

  His aunt do that?

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  Because it was, he said, she said rumor that his mom wanted grandparents' rights.

• 1:03:04Caleb Hammer?

  Good. I'm sorry, you're a horrible, objectively horrible dad. You are a bad mom because you won't get the kids out of the house or him out of the house from the kids. You're not as bad as he is a dad. But you not getting them away or him away is being a bad mom. Because you just want your kids to do it and be there. And also, I mean, you're very behind on your mortgage as well. So maybe they should have had grandparent rights. But if the mom was willing to do that, will the mom not take you in?

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:03:37Caleb Hammer?

  Call her.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  Right now?

• 1:03:39Caleb Hammer?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  She might be working. I'm not sure, but

• 1:03:46Caleb Hammer?

  Let's see.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  Friday? I think she is.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:03:53Caleb Hammer?

  Rent in your area is 2,400. You guys are in a very blessed position. Sell the house, get the away from him, move on, pay off the debt, fully funded emergency fund.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  When's the last time I talked to her?

• 1:04:02Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you can just type in her name.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  I was gonna say.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  She has two numbers on my phone. I had to delete, I had to delete the one.

• 1:04:08Caleb Hammer?

  So it's more like you stole the baby back then in a way.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:11Caleb Hammer?

  You worked with the aunt to do it.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Caleb Hammer?

  That's not a good thing. Why did the mom not call CPS?

• 1:04:25Caleb Hammer?

  See if she answers. If not.

• 1:04:29Caleb Hammer?

  Hey, how are you?

• 1:04:31Speaker 05

  Good. Who's this?

• 1:04:32Caleb Hammer?

  Good. I am a friend. Um, I'm sitting down with your son and her. And, you know, I'm just kind of going over some things. They really wanted some advice. And you've come up multiple times in this conversation, and I just kind of wanted to talk to you. They're both here. Say hi.

• 1:04:47Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 1:04:49Caleb Hammer?

  So that you know they're both here.

• 1:04:51Speaker 05

  Who are you?

• 1:04:52Caleb Hammer?

  Well, my name's Caleb. Uh, they just, they came to me for advice, um, in a private setting. Uh, well, it's actually not that private anymore, though, but, um, uh, either way, whatever, it doesn't matter. The thing is, I know you had the kid for a bit and they unfortunately took the kid back. I think you should have the kid. This man scares me around the kid based on everything he's admitted to me. He, he told me he's verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. He, he told me that. She's not even saying that. Can, is she, if, if things get too dangerous, is she allowed to take the kids and live with you? That was my one question.

• 1:05:29Speaker 05

  It's, it's not about, your first question was for me to take the child back, which is fine. But I need more, like, there needs to be more information. Like, I've already discussed with them before about situations. And so if, my question is, is if you're asking me to take one, what about the other? And like, what, what's the plan? Like, what are we doing?

• 1:05:58Caleb Hammer?

  No.

• 1:05:58Speaker 05

  And are we gonna get help at this point in time? Like, now we have somebody else involved in this, and I know that I'm your mother. I know your mom isn't in the picture, and I'm like a mom to you, and I know that's hard for you to probably even think about, like, well, that's mom, like, how can she stand up for me? But I've told you time and time again that I would be next to you. And so in saying that, it's very hard. It's like both of y'all are my children in a sense, and I, I want the best for both of y'all, but y'all both need help. You both need to get into some sort of counseling and have a support system. Do y'all hear me?

• 1:06:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Yes, we hear you.

• 1:06:41Speaker 05

  And I'm sort of disappointed that y'all even did this show and you never even said anything. Like, if you want me, and I've told you this time and time again, I've walked the road that y'all are in. I was a single mom in the military with nothing scraping by. And I turned life around and I made different choices and I did different things in life and that you guys can always come to me. And instead, you constantly keep me in the dark, but then want to call me in an emergency, which is fine. I'm always gonna be here, but we've got to do better, guys. Like, this is so out of the blue. So if you're in Texas, who has the children?

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  Uh, my friend has her, has both of them.

• 1:07:26Speaker 05

  You know, y'all, this almost feels like a joke because seriously, I feel so left out in the dark. It's not even funny right now.

• 1:07:34Caleb Hammer?

  I apologize. It, it's not a joke. I actually really just wanted to know if she ever needed to, if she could live with you.

• 1:07:40Speaker 05

  I've already told her this. I've already told her this. I've told both of them. At one point in time, was with me because they had the split up.

• 1:07:49Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they told.

• 1:07:51Speaker 05

  And it's also, you have to get your crap together because if not, you're, you're gonna lose your whole entire family. Do you want that?

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  No, not really.

• 1:07:59Speaker 05

  Sure you don't, getting a hold of me. So if I can answer the phone, I will step away and talk to y'all. But if not, like, seriously, I'm hoping I'll be done by eight tonight. So either way, all right?

• 1:08:10Caleb Hammer?

  Thank you. Bye.

• 1:08:11Speaker 05

  I love y'all.

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  Love you too.

• 1:08:14Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, hard to navigate that conversation. It's always hard to tell people like, oh, you're on financial audit. So I should have just said you're on financial audit. So I apologize for that when you're watching back. But at least she knew by the end when you told her. Um, yeah, sounds like a sweet person. And by the way, uh, thank you for, to your service. And it sounds like she was, she's an incredible mom. Like, she's done so many good things. You mean, on the spectrum is an excuse for abuse?

• 1:08:36Speaker 04

  I'm never made in an excuse.

• 1:08:37Caleb Hammer?

  I know. She kind of was. I don't like this. Go live with her. Get rid of this piece of shit. Sell your house. You can't afford that. You've paid me seven payments. Seven payments in two and a half years. What are you doing? Okay?

• 1:08:53Caleb Hammer?

  Seven.

• 1:08:58Caleb Hammer?

  I don't give a shit about Adam. He, it sounds like he needs to come on this show. And we can deal with that, but he needs to get his shit together. Your kids' lives are not put below his. Yeah? Yeah?

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  No, you're right.

• 1:09:11Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Oh.

• 1:09:16Caleb Hammer?

  I've never actually seen a literal page with repossessed on it.

• 1:09:24Caleb Hammer?

  I already launched Liquid Assets, my official Gamer Subs flavor, raspberry apple, and it's been selling like crazy. Here's the update. The free gift stacking promo from Christmas in July has officially sold out, but the flavor hasn't. Zero sugar, under one calorie, 100 servings a tub, same nootropic blend, same full vitamin stack, still just four scoops a day, max. Code Caleb still gets you 10% off your entire order, and there's still a shot, one out of every 10, that your tub comes with my face on it. All you need to do is head to GamerSubs.GG slash Caleb or click the link in the description below.

• 1:10:01Caleb Hammer?

  I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform, so you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. This has never happened before. What is this?

• 1:10:28Speaker 03

  That is my car that I got in 2024. Um, that was the one transportation argument that they had when they were fighting. Anyways, that car was repossessed, uh, last week.

• 1:10:42Caleb Hammer?

  Last week?

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:45Caleb Hammer?

  Last week?

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  They, uh-

• 1:10:47Caleb Hammer?

  What are we doing?

• 1:10:50Speaker 03

  I had called the bank, that bank.

• 1:10:51Caleb Hammer?

  You guys make money. You literally, together, you guys make money.

• 1:10:56Speaker 03

  We have no-

• 1:10:57Caleb Hammer?

  None of this makes no sense.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  It doesn't. We have zero excuse for our finances, at all. Zero, no excuse whatsoever of why we're in this position that we're in, but-

• 1:11:05Caleb Hammer?

  What do you drive now?

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  A 2000 Honda Accord Coupe.

• 1:11:09Caleb Hammer?

  You already had it?

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:11:10Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you have this car then?

• 1:11:12Speaker 03

  That was the car that I bought, because I bought that when we split, because I totaled my Honda.

• 1:11:15Caleb Hammer?

  Ah! What were the payments?

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Nine sixty-two.

• 1:11:21Caleb Hammer?

  Oh!

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  It's another mortgage.

• 1:11:26Caleb Hammer?

  What were you?

• 1:11:28Speaker 00

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• 1:11:53Caleb Hammer?

  What were you making when you split with him?

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  I was making, um, fifty-two a year at my one job and then another-

• 1:12:03Caleb Hammer?

  Go get those jobs back!

• 1:12:08Speaker 03

  It was a very toxic job.

• 1:12:09Caleb Hammer?

  I don't care. What's, what's more toxic? The guy yelling at you for his kids or this job?

• 1:12:17Speaker 03

  This is true.

• 1:12:17Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, yeah, it is!

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  I was working from home with that job, so I didn't have to pay for childcare. Um, I was making fifty-

• 1:12:24Caleb Hammer?

  Toxic? It was from home? Log off.

• 1:12:26Speaker 03

  I was, I was making about fifty-two thousand a year.

• 1:12:28Caleb Hammer?

  Toxic?

• 1:12:29Speaker 03

  Um, my boss wasn't the very friendly.

• 1:12:32Caleb Hammer?

  How? You keep saying, I'm glad you say things. Now try to actually explain them.

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  So I was an HR executive assistant. So what I did was I helped with the hiring process, I helped with all that kind of stuff, and it was mainly a lot of nepotism at that job, a lot of narcissism.

• 1:12:47Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, how were they toxic?

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  It was a lot of back and forth between who he said, she said, uh, doing things.

• 1:12:53Caleb Hammer?

  Remote, tell me.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  Are you okay, really?

• 1:12:57Caleb Hammer?

  Just burping.

• 1:12:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:13:01Speaker 03

  It was a lot, like, I don't know-

• 1:13:02Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:13:03Speaker 03

  It was a while ago at this point. I quit in 2024.

• 1:13:06Caleb Hammer?

  You need to back that up. You need to back that shit up. What was toxic?

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  Uh, I was told that, you know, I didn't do a lot of things, but a lot of my work-

• 1:13:13Caleb Hammer?

  If you didn't.

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  A lot of my work got taken from me for another position.

• 1:13:16Caleb Hammer?

  Wow, so you got paid for doing less?

• 1:13:18Speaker 03

  Yes, but they tracked us on everything that we did, and because I didn't have enough to fill my day-

• 1:13:24Caleb Hammer?

  Were they threatening you with firing?

• 1:13:25Speaker 03

  If I didn't pick up my productivity, but then I would come back and say, I don't have enough-

• 1:13:30Caleb Hammer?

  Go get that job back, or go get a job similar. What the, you make no money right now, and you just got your car repossessed. And you're, you made seven mortgage payments in two and a half years. Go get a job, dude. What are you doing? So what's the balance that's gonna be left on this, or is this that now? Oh, you were past due four thousand eight hundred and eleven dollars?

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:13:50Caleb Hammer?

  What the is possibly wrong with you? Oh yeah, that's your payment due. Shit. Yeah, it was thirty-one thousand eight hundred and seventy-six dollars for someone that makes seventeen hundred dollars a month. Bull. Bull.

• 1:14:04Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, it's private market. Did we get the value of this car?

• 1:14:10Caleb Hammer?

  Because it's gonna be that, my, is likely the value of the car is what you're still gonna owe. It's gonna be in your credit. It's gonna get you into predatory loans and all this shit. What was the interest rate on this?

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  I think twenty-something.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  Twenty-something?

• 1:14:21Caleb Hammer?

  I don't like when you speak-

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 1:14:23Caleb Hammer?

  -without being spoken to.

• 1:14:27Caleb Hammer?

  Twenty-something's crazy.

• 1:14:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was really bad.

• 1:14:29Caleb Hammer?

  Geez, you put yourself in a worse situation when you left him.

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  I did.

• 1:14:34Speaker 03

  And I only got that car because I totaled my other vehicle, because I fell asleep driving while-

• 1:14:39Caleb Hammer?

  It's worth nine thousand dollars and you owe thirty-one thousand on it?

• 1:14:41Speaker 03

  It's only worth nine thousand dollars.

• 1:14:44Caleb Hammer?

  Are you sure that's the car? Is that the right car? Is that the right VIN? Do we have the right thing? Because that's insane.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  That might be what his truck's worth.

• 1:14:52Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, okay, okay, okay, because I wouldn't be surprised if you balance it up anyway, from all the fees and all the shit. Oh my, oh, so that's a back payment you owe. I can't believe you let it get to repossession territory.

• 1:15:04Speaker 03

  I tried calling them multiple times to kind of like work out a prepayment plan, and they-

• 1:15:09Caleb Hammer?

  Repayment plan?

• 1:15:10Speaker 03

  A repayment plan, or like-

• 1:15:12Caleb Hammer?

  Where it's added on in the back? They only do that so many times.

• 1:15:14Speaker 03

  It would have only, I paid it back up at one point, and then it got this bad again.

• 1:15:19Caleb Hammer?

  It's like your mortgage.

• 1:15:20Speaker 03

  Yes, and then when it finally got repo'd, I had called them and I said, hey, this is what's going on, are we able to do something? And they said no, and they wanted about like eighty-two hundred dollars upfront.

• 1:15:31Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, that's what you owed?

• 1:15:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, upfront to take the car out and get it back.

• 1:15:35Caleb Hammer?

  That's what you've owed?

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they did not expect, they did not want any type of payment plan to even get it back.

• 1:15:40Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, yeah? Because that's what you owed, you-

• 1:15:46Caleb Hammer?

  Are you surprised by this? Like-

• 1:15:47Speaker 03

  I'm not. I was, I was not surprised.

• 1:15:49Caleb Hammer?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:15:53Caleb Hammer?

  Well, I don't know if it's gonna be owed. You're probably gonna owe maybe like half. Who knows? You're still gonna have to pay that. Who knows? Maybe they'll come sue you for it and they'll garnish your wages.

• 1:16:06Speaker 03

  That's the last statement, I think, of the same car.

• 1:16:10Caleb Hammer?

  And here's your checking account. You started with five dollars and ended with negative one hundred and sixty-eight dollars. Shit. What are we doing? I need you to be independent. You're nowhere close to that. You're gonna be trapped in this situation with this piece of shit forever.

• 1:16:30Caleb Hammer?

  Negative one hundred and sixty-three dollars and ninety-eight cents.

• 1:16:38Caleb Hammer?

  I mean, you're getting like energy drinks or something? Energy drinks? I don't know. You stop at the market and get that two dollars sixty-six cent thing.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  So the thing about that is, that is the joint account, so my card for that joint account does not work. It's only on his card that works, and he has the card to that. Um, I have to-

• 1:16:56Caleb Hammer?

  This is all his spending?

• 1:16:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:17:03Caleb Hammer?

  You do not get free Gamer Subs. Go fuck yourself. But for everyone else out there, get Gamer Subs. It's forty cents a serving with my discount code. Get your free samples, figure out what flavor you like with the code Caleb, link in the description below. I highly recommend Caleb Hammer's Liquid Assets. It's the best flavor because I made it myself, and I wanted to get the best flavor. You can get one. Are you an energy drink person?

• 1:17:23Speaker 03

  I am the energy drink person of the, of the, of the group.

• 1:17:26Caleb Hammer?

  Well, here you go, girl. It's all you did.

• 1:17:30Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:17:31Caleb Hammer?

  They're delicious. Seriously.

• 1:17:32Speaker 03

  I will not put like all the blame on him, because I do have his version of the joint card that I'm going, but-

• 1:17:37Caleb Hammer?

  Because you do spend money and you are not gonna be independent. I need you to be independent. That is safety. Bullshit. Bullshit. Prime Video. Overdraft protect me fee.

• 1:17:49Speaker 03

  You'll see a lot of those on there.

• 1:17:50Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, I bet!

• 1:17:56Caleb Hammer?

  Bullshit. McDonald's withdrawal cash Chick-fil-A overdraft.

• 1:18:05Caleb Hammer?

  Overdrafting?

• 1:18:08Caleb Hammer?

  For Chick-fil-A is what we're doing. When you can't even get out of the house from a man that is next to borderline beating you.

• 1:18:20Caleb Hammer?

  Interesting strategy. Can't say I've done it myself.

• 1:18:28Caleb Hammer?

  Five dollars in his checking account. It's a joint, goes back and forth, I guess. He's paying for Snapchat. I don't even care if he's cheating. Who even knows?

• 1:18:39Speaker 04

  That's just me restoring streaks with one of my friends.

• 1:18:42Caleb Hammer?

  You've only cheated once?

• 1:18:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:44Caleb Hammer?

  I'm surprised. Honestly, you're the first person ever, I'd say, go cheat as many times as you want. Go take that dick. Just wear a condom.

• 1:18:53Caleb Hammer?

  How do you feel about the cheating? I don't care. Okay. No, how do you feel about it?

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  Uh, it hurt me, of course, but I mean, yeah, that's why.

• 1:19:05Speaker 03

  Unfortunately, it hurts you enough to hurt you, but you haven't changed yet. So there's that.

• 1:19:09Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, like four years of nothing, man. I don't get that. We all make mistakes. I'm willing to forgive almost anyone's past on anything if they grow as a human, because that's his life. And not everything's Twitter and TikTok where, hold up a carnival from five years ago. Yeah, I said a rude thing online. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, cancel, cancel. No, people grow, whatever. That's what the normal person thinks, okay?

• 1:19:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:29Caleb Hammer?

  You're not growing. You refuse to see therapy.

• 1:19:33Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 1:19:35Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you denied when she said, let's get therapy.

• 1:19:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then a couple of months later, I asked her if she wanted to go to therapy because I realized that my choice was wrong. But like she did, no, like I did with her, she ignored me and basically said.

• 1:19:48Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 1:19:50Speaker 03

  Because I was at that point where it was, I didn't think that he cared at all. And even when he said that he wanted to do therapy, one of his favorite lines is when he's yelling or when we're arguing is that he doesn't care. So that's always in the back of my mind.

• 1:20:07Caleb Hammer?

  Well done. You don't care?

• 1:20:09Speaker 04

  I say that when I get angry, but I do care.

• 1:20:12Caleb Hammer?

  Again, there is nothing wrong with getting angry in a relationship and even raising voices like here and there. I mean, it's not, I'm not saying that's a good thing, but that is, you'll find that in basically every relationship ever that has existed. Screaming, throwing things at children, at this stuff, throwing things, banging things around, making holes in the wall. That is not okay.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  She also never really apologized for cheating on me.

• 1:20:37Caleb Hammer?

  So? Good. She did it because you were abusive, then she came back and you're still abusive. I don't give a shit. Go fuck yourself. Do you apologize after every time you scream at the kid?

• 1:20:49Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:20:52Caleb Hammer?

  And why do I give a shit that she hasn't apologized? She admitted in this conversation.

• 1:21:25Caleb Hammer?

  She's only here because she can't get away from you financially, right? You know, she literally said that in this conversation.

• 1:21:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:31Caleb Hammer?

  Why the would she apologize? Why do you expect an apology?

• 1:21:35Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:21:36Caleb Hammer?

  Huh. Why haven't you apologized?

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Um, in my own way, I have not apologized either, that being said, but I am sorry that I did cheat on him, but this, but.

• 1:21:47Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  Because I should have done it the right way. I should have.

• 1:21:52Caleb Hammer?

  I can agree with that.

• 1:21:53Speaker 03

  I should have did it the right way. And I want, I 100% take blame for that. Um, but at the same time, I was not in a very good spot mentally wise and I was afraid, so I thought it was the better way out.

• 1:22:05Caleb Hammer?

  Now, would you still, would you still be with the second guy? If he didn't get a DUI instead of him?

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  Probably not, no.

• 1:22:15Caleb Hammer?

  Hmm, not very confident on that one. McDonald's, energy drink, PlayStation, a what, $20? United Distribution, who the, $2.40, probably some bullshit, vending machine, maybe. McDonald's, bullshit, Snapchat again, he's getting Snapchat. What the fuck are you paying for on Snapchat, little freak?

• 1:22:35Speaker 04

  My streaks run out with my friends that are like over a thousand, so I just pre.

• 1:22:40Caleb Hammer?

  With your friends, yeah.

• 1:22:41Speaker 04

  I mean, I can show you if you want.

• 1:22:43Caleb Hammer?

  Maybe just go live with them.

• 1:22:47Caleb Hammer?

  Chick-fil-A, Arby's, checkers, smoking some vapes, getting some energy drinks, checkers, Snapchat again. Crazy. Energy drink, energy drink, Chick-fil-A, Domino's, Fabletics, Chick-fil-A. Exchange, exchange, exchange, McDonald's, energy drink, energy drink, Snapchat, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, McDonald's. Energy drink, energy drink, Chick-fil-A, McDonald's, Amazon, energy drink. Oh, McDonald's, PlayStation, bullshit, ATM at draw, usage fee. Bullshit, Chick-fil-A, another vending machine, bullshit, energy drink, McDonald's, Arby's, what is that, a vending machine?

• 1:23:32Caleb Hammer?

  Who knows? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Chick-fil-A, Snapchat again, Web, would you even care if he cheated on you right now?

• 1:23:42Speaker 03

  I mean, it would hurt me just because I.

• 1:23:44Caleb Hammer?

  You guys are cooked. Bullshit, energy drink, Snapchat, bullshit, Handy Games.

• 1:23:51Speaker 03

  What even is that?

• 1:23:52Speaker 04

  I don't even know, to be honest.

• 1:23:54Speaker 03

  You're the only one that does the.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know, but I, that doesn't ring a bell with me.

• 1:23:58Caleb Hammer?

  Energy drink, energy drink. Amazon, Amazon, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, Chick-fil-A. Prime Video, uh, bullshit or something, I don't know. Energy drink, energy drink, energy drink. Premium McDonald's, energy drink, tobacco.

• 1:24:20Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, if it isn't, uh, you know.

• 1:24:28Caleb Hammer?

  Like seven overdraft fees. Oh, there you go. That's hot. Why'd you get with him in the first place? How the fuck did you fall in love with this in high school, right?

• 1:24:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was high school.

• 1:24:38Caleb Hammer?

  How?

• 1:24:40Speaker 03

  Uh, we, we met.

• 1:24:41Caleb Hammer?

  Small town?

• 1:24:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, we do live in a small town. We met in, while we were in orchestra and we had a lot of.

• 1:24:47Caleb Hammer?

  What did you guys play?

• 1:24:49Speaker 03

  I played the violin and he played the bass.

• 1:24:52Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. What did you see in him?

• 1:24:56Speaker 03

  We did a lot of after school stuff when it came to like orchestra and stuff like that. And because we lived in a small town, it was only like a certain amount of us. So it was a very small fishing pool. Fishing pool? No, I don't know.

• 1:25:09Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you're buying in a truck. I'm glad you're paying for Snapchat, but not your truck.

• 1:25:15Caleb Hammer?

  $382 a month and 42 cents with a balance, $4,721.95. Oh, total payment due because you passed due two payments. You owe 1,147. Why are you behind? You make good money and this is an interest rate below 3%. I'd want to keep this. What the fuck is wrong with you? Go live in it.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  Uh, I just haven't paid it because we're paying either other bills or.

• 1:25:39Caleb Hammer?

  What other bills? No, you're not. You're actually not.

• 1:25:42Speaker 04

  Our wifi bill.

• 1:25:43Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 1:25:44Speaker 04

  Our electric and our wifi.

• 1:25:45Caleb Hammer?

  And how much is that?

• 1:25:46Speaker 04

  The electric's like, well, this past month was like $700.

• 1:25:50Caleb Hammer?

  You make $6,000.

• 1:25:57Speaker 03

  Nothing. It goes back to literally all of those little, um, eating out and everything. The majority of the eating out and the vaping, neither one of us smoke. We buy it for Adam.

• 1:26:11Caleb Hammer?

  Adam's done.

• 1:26:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:13Caleb Hammer?

  Adam's out. If for some reason you guys stay together, which no, please do not, Adam's gone tomorrow. No, give him a month. A month to get his life together. He has a full month. He has fair warning. And if he chooses attend, that's on him.

• 1:26:31Caleb Hammer?

  Or do you just want to live with your best friend? He's choosing his best friend over you and your kids, by the way.

• 1:26:36Speaker 03

  It has very felt like that.

• 1:26:37Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's not feeling. He is. Like he is. Like every action is showing that is true.

• 1:26:48Speaker 03

  Okay. It makes me want to cry.

• 1:26:51Caleb Hammer?

  No. Leave.

• 1:26:56Caleb Hammer?

  Passed due on something that is valued even a little more than you know. Capital One, it's closed. Is it in collections? 3,786?

• 1:27:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:27:06Caleb Hammer?

  Hmm, okay. Why'd that go to collections? Again, you guys make money.

• 1:27:11Speaker 03

  Um, so a lot of my debt was the, my mom.

• 1:27:17Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:27:17Speaker 03

  Um, she would use my stuff and she racked up some bills and she always said that she would pay them and has not.

• 1:27:25Caleb Hammer?

  Jeez. And how long did it take you to learn that lesson?

• 1:27:30Speaker 03

  Um, a while.

• 1:27:32Caleb Hammer?

  Have you learned that lesson?

• 1:27:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:27:34Caleb Hammer?

  Good. Don't ever give other people your debt. Okay?

• 1:27:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:43Caleb Hammer?

  Okay?

• 1:27:43Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:27:44Caleb Hammer?

  Jeez, fuck. Did you guys forget you were in a podcast? 4,966 and another discovered. Did she rack this up too?

• 1:27:50Speaker 03

  Yes, that is currently garnishing my paycheck.

• 1:27:54Caleb Hammer?

  Yep. Consequences of your actions. Who keeps farting?

• 1:27:57Speaker 04

  Nah, not me.

• 1:27:58Caleb Hammer?

  I know fat people farts when I smell them.

• 1:28:01Speaker 04

  I had passed gas. I mean, I would tell you if I did, but I.

• 1:28:04Caleb Hammer?

  Would you even know? Dude, you've been expunging this whole episode. Okay, one of you just is just a stinky individual.

• 1:28:12Caleb Hammer?

  Verizon. Well, the garnishment of your wages makes sense why the your wage is so small before it hits your account. $2,666. Is that garnishing?

• 1:28:24Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:28:24Caleb Hammer?

  It's in collections, Verizon, you just didn't pay it.

• 1:28:30Caleb Hammer?

  And the Verizon, that's from like the guy that you cheated on him with, right?

• 1:28:33Speaker 03

  Correct. Yeah. Because he refused to help pay for the bill.

• 1:28:37Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you just, you pick the winners. Another collection, $873.

• 1:28:48Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, I guess it was Dell? We Bank Dell?

• 1:28:52Speaker 03

  Yes, Dell.

• 1:28:52Caleb Hammer?

  So you had like a Dell financing?

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:55Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, what is this? Insurance paid. So you owed medical 1,807?

• 1:29:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:29:01Caleb Hammer?

  Have you gotten a repayment plan? They'll do very small typically.

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  Not yet. That is from our recent, um, baby.

• 1:29:08Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, I would call and do that.

• 1:29:11Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, retirement 1,055. Who's that?

• 1:29:13Speaker 03

  Mine.

• 1:29:14Caleb Hammer?

  And you have nothing?

• 1:29:15Speaker 04

  Yes, I don't have any time.

• 1:29:17Caleb Hammer?

  I don't give a fuck about you. I'm not doing anything regarding you. Here's what to do. Step by step, and I will do a budget, but step by step.

• 1:29:28Caleb Hammer?

  You kick him out.

• 1:29:32Caleb Hammer?

  You put the house up for sale. You kick Adam out. Out. You learn to budget, because when you sell the house, you will pay off your debts. Have a fully funded emergency fund. And focus on your career. While you kick him out, while you sell him, while you learn how to budget, while you build up your emergency fund, you are living with his mother. You are taking care of the kids in the first peaceful household in their life, in the history of their life. Yippee. Maybe you do that for a year, maybe two years. You build up your skills, your certifications, whatever you can do. You hunt for a career. You get a good career, then you can move out and you have a place for you and your kids. You start dating someone. The only way he ever gets back in is with years of therapy

• 1:30:13Caleb Hammer?

  and showing and proving that he is changed and has coping mechanisms, is medicated and everything. Other than that, he's never even coming close to the kids. Unless it's court mandated. And then you find a man through dating, okay? That's how this works. Your rent will be zero living with her. Your food will most likely be zero, but I'll have you contribute $500 towards it. I'll have you contribute $300 towards TP fund. Your medical healthcare, you'll get on Medicaid. You'll get on assistance. You'll do what you need to do. Child tax credits will help you. What were your phone bill be? What is it?

• 1:30:47Speaker 03

  My phone is paid by my dad.

• 1:30:49Caleb Hammer?

  Well, what the [bleep]. I thought they weren't in the picture. Your debt payments, you, um, will have maybe like 50 bucks for the medical, but that's pretty much it. Don't give a [bleep] about his truck. Uh, you'll have car insurance. Let's just assume it's like the worst, like pretty bad. Not mid, 250. You might have to get a car loan. Let's say you have a car payment of 500 bucks. You'll get a $10,000 car, not a $30,000 car. Then you'll put, maybe you actually do a cash car.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  That was my current plan.

• 1:31:20Caleb Hammer?

  You'll do a cash car from selling of the house, but only still 10,000 hours, multiple mechanics approved. Medical healthcare, let's put an extra $200 there. Let's do $100 for subscriptions. What, how many pets are you gonna take with you?

• 1:31:37Caleb Hammer?

  Gotta prioritize the kid over the pets. It's a sad day, but it's a real day.

• 1:31:40Speaker 03

  I do know, um, at least six of the, of the cat, they need to go, but if anything...

• 1:31:45Caleb Hammer?

  How many will you take with you?

• 1:31:47Speaker 03

  Probably two.

• 1:31:47Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, $100 pet insurance, $100 to take care of the pets.

• 1:31:53Caleb Hammer?

  Once you learn how to use this budget, then you can have access to the funds of selling the house. Then you can pay off your debts. Then you can set the rest aside for an emergency fund and catching up on retirement for anything that is left over. But you'll be budgeting off of $1,600 a month, which you can even do today, barely. If you prove you can do it, I will allow you to sell the house. But other than that, kick him out. You're done, okay? It's [bleep]. It's [bleep], okay? It's [bleep].

• 1:32:21Speaker 03

  Yes, very much.

• 1:32:22Caleb Hammer?

  I am going to call Adam in the post show. I am so [bleep] done with this dude. Let's get your Hammer Financial Score. Leave him immediately. Oh, and Lindsay and Brandon are gonna absolutely ruin your life in a few minutes in the post show. Let me tell you, they are gonna cook you to death. Especially since they have more information than I even have, because I go in blind, but they know everything. Spending in a bu... Oh, you're, guys, you're Hammer Fin... Oh, no, there is real estate. Retirement's one. Spending a budget, debt, emergency fund, that's all zero. Real estate, that's fine. You're just behind, so that brings it down dramatically. Give you a three out of 10, just the best. There. Hammer Financial Score, get you updated one at CalebHammer.com. Yours is a one out of 10. Now join us for the post show. I'm gonna [bleep] destroy Adam and they are gonna destroy them with even more information they have.

• 1:33:08Caleb Hammer?

  Three premium shows every single day, six days a week. Best membership on YouTube, best network by far, so check it out. Join with the join link or the join button down below, or you can download the Hammer Elite app or HammerElite.com. See you there. Okay, call him. You have been carried by these two individuals. It is time to grow up, develop some skills, build a resume, get a job, and get the [bleep] out of their house and pay your own [bleep] bills. Your friend is kicked out because he's abusive, and you're kicked out because you're a loser. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday.

• 1:33:52Caleb Hammer?

  Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality, or a story, or a life, or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to CalebHammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below. Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare

• 1:34:37Caleb Hammer?

  to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.