My Biggest Crashout Yet | Financial Audit

I call his "mystic" and fully confront her and call her out. It's a huge fight... this is the most intense post-show yet... Watch here: ➡️ https://bit.ly/chpostshow 🎁 Claim the Ultimate Hammer Bundle HERE → https://bit.ly/ultimate-hammer-bundle 🔥 GamerSupps: tasty, cheap ($0.25/serving)! Save 10% with code CALEB: gamersupps.gg/caleb 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime® Checking account, and earn up to 3.50% APY on your savings: https://chime.com/calebhammer ============================= *Sponsors for This Video* ============================= Build credit fast with 80% off the first month (that's just $1!) at https://getkikoff.com/caleb today. Thanks to Kikoff for sponsoring us! Download Helium Mobile and sign up with code CALEB 👉 https://app.heliummobile.com/o6WA/vdqufw1r Learn more: https://heliummobile.com ============================= Master Your Money with Caleb Hammer ============================= ⚡️Budget YOUR dream life with my simple courses: ➡️ https://bit.ly/calebhammer ⚡️Check out all of my custom Financial Audit merch: ➡️ https://bit.ly/caleb-merch ============================= *Check Out My Resources* ============================= 👉 I'VE MOVED MY INVESTMENTS TO WEBULL! https://www.webull.com/k/Caleb 👉 Checking & Savings: Get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime® Checking account, and earn up to 3.50% APY on your savings: https://chime.com/calebhammer 👉 Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree: ➡️ https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 👉 Get $20 from Acorns for free: ➡️ https://acorns.com/caleb 👉 First 100,000 Fizz sign-ups with code HAMMER10 get $1.0: https://www.joinfizz.com/caleb 👉 Helium Mobile: Use promo code CALEB for a FREE plan ➡️ https://hellohelium.com/ 👉 Protect your online privacy and security for free with Aura: ➡️ https://aura.com/hammer 👉 Get an exclusive HighLevel 30-day trial: https://gohighlevel.com/calebhammer *Some of the links and other products that appear in this video are from companies for which Caleb Hammer will earn an affiliate commission or referral bonus. This is not investment advice. Sponsorship and business inquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:26Speaker 01

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• 0:55Caleb Hammer?

  To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube.

• 0:59Speaker 03

  I was told to come. My mystic, my personal guidance.

• 1:03Caleb Hammer?

  The is a mystic.

• 1:04Speaker 03

  You know, they read the cards, they read the stars.

• 1:07Caleb Hammer?

  And the star said, come to Austin for financial audit? How are you affording that?

• 1:12Speaker 03

  You know, I asked grandma for some money.

• 1:13Caleb Hammer?

  You're taking this from a 73-year-old woman?

• 1:16Speaker 03

  I mean, she has money. I'm a bad bitch and I like a bougie lifestyle.

• 1:19Caleb Hammer?

  I feel my blood pressure rising more than I have felt in any episode in a very long time because I am enraged at you.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  You should get it checked out then.

• 1:27Caleb Hammer?

  You are one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time. Black Friday starts now. Master your money. My all-in-one personal finance membership is finally live. It has every single course I've ever made, exclusive content and a members-only community. Click the link below and become the member of the best money membership on the planet. I'll see you inside.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  My name is Jason. I'm from Houston, Texas, 29, and this is Financial Audit.

• 1:52Caleb Hammer?

  Thanks for coming over to Austin. What are you doing in Houston for a living?

• 1:56Speaker 03

  I am a data freight analyst.

• 1:59Caleb Hammer?

  Data freight, what's that?

• 2:00Speaker 03

  Right, like, I, basically, we get the invoices and we're entering the information into our system. Um, I work for, it was a gas-

• 2:07Caleb Hammer?

  Freight?

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, a gas company, yeah.

• 2:09Caleb Hammer?

  Good, okay, cool. How many hours a week are you working? Is this salary, is this hourly?

• 2:13Speaker 03

  Hourly, I have forty hours a week.

• 2:15Caleb Hammer?

  What's your hourly pay?

• 2:16Speaker 03

  Uh, twenty-one.

• 2:17Caleb Hammer?

  What, um, Houston?

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:20Caleb Hammer?

  Twenty-one's gonna search a little less there compared to many other places, fourth largest city in the country. We'll probably be number three before we know it. Um, but also, you know, compared to many other major cities, it's not like the hyper most expensive, depending on the neighborhood. What hits your account per paycheck?

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Hmm, about thirteen, thirteen every two weeks.

• 2:39Caleb Hammer?

  Every two weeks?

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:40Caleb Hammer?

  Thirteen, how you doing in Houston? Twelve thirteen, is it twelve or thirteen?

• 2:45Speaker 03

  I'd say thirteen, just in case, yeah.

• 2:47Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, and how you doing? Two thousand six hundred, that's not like living in luxury by any means, we're talking thirty-one thousand net a year.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  I mean, I stay at home, I live with my parents, so.

• 3:00Caleb Hammer?

  You do?

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:01Caleb Hammer?

  For how long have you been living with your parents? It's not that you can't at twenty-nine, many cultures do, but in our culture, it is a little more odd and might suggest something of, I wanna say failure or lazy necessarily, cuz they can be good support systems if we ever have to move back as we're figuring things out, but it does suggest something in our culture potentially.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Um, I mean,

• 3:28Speaker 03

  it, yeah, I'm so sorry.

• 3:31Caleb Hammer?

  Well, it's okay, what, what are you thinking?

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Uh, I mean, yeah, I moved back, uh, last summer.

• 3:36Caleb Hammer?

  So you moved back?

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:37Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  So previously, I was living at my cousin's house. They didn't work out there, so I ended up going to my friend's house.

• 3:45Caleb Hammer?

  Have you ever lived alone? Have you ever lived not with, moving into a friend or cousin or parents?

• 3:51Speaker 03

  No. It's always been with somebody else.

• 3:54Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you don't make much, I guess, for the area. Is that, is that why?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 3:59Caleb Hammer?

  Does drama follow everywhere you live since you're bouncing around places?

• 4:02Speaker 03

  I mean, sometimes, you know.

• 4:04Caleb Hammer?

  Sometimes? I don't know. It seems like you're bouncing.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Uh, I mean, you know, I like a certain lifestyle. Some people don't like it that I be spending money.

• 4:13Caleb Hammer?

  Lifestyle? Well, you, what, what they don't like that you're spending money? Why, why, they, the drama is you spending money? I don't think so.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah.

• 4:19Caleb Hammer?

  You sure that's the lifestyle they disagree with?

• 4:22Speaker 03

  I mean, that could be, that's probably it.

• 4:24Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Cause you're Hispanic, right?

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:27Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, yeah. The white Hispanic, it's, they exist. We've seen them. There's one behind you. His name's Brandon. Uh, but your real name is quite Hispanic.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:38Caleb Hammer?

  Or else I honestly would have thought you just white boy.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no. I'm Hispanic.

• 4:42Caleb Hammer?

  Well, Hispanics, Hispanics in the gays.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:45Caleb Hammer?

  Not, um, not always the biggest fans. Typically deeply religious. I mean, you do have a cross on your ear.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:52Caleb Hammer?

  Is that the gay ear?

• 4:53Speaker 03

  No. Which one is it? The right ear? I think.

• 4:57Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know. We, we don't, we don't do sides of gays.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Well.

• 5:01Caleb Hammer?

  We, we just go full gay.

• 5:02Speaker 03

  Period. That's it.

• 5:03Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Yeah. And, but yeah, you have a cross and so, but they haven't kicked you out due to the gayness?

• 5:09Speaker 03

  No. I mean.

• 5:11Caleb Hammer?

  No. So it's about you spending money? Why do they care if you're spending money unless you're not paying your rent? You're not paying your rent?

• 5:15Speaker 03

  I mean, I'll pay the rent, but like.

• 5:18Caleb Hammer?

  So why would they kick you out for spending your thirty one thousand dollars a year?

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Like, they want extra money and.

• 5:23Caleb Hammer?

  Was the extra money agreed on?

• 5:25Speaker 03

  No. They just asked for.

• 5:27Caleb Hammer?

  Them. Why do they deserve extra money for you to live there if it wasn't agreed?

• 5:31Speaker 03

  They see that I like to go out. I like to spend money. I guess because they can.

• 5:36Caleb Hammer?

  Want to?

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. I guess so.

• 5:38Caleb Hammer?

  Now, tell me how these conversations went. Something's going on. That seems weird. It would be weird that multiple groups of people would do that same exact thing. Like if one person did it one off, I could be like, okay, I could see that. They're a little weird, you know? Let him do what he wants with his money. If he wants to be a failure, let him be a failure, you know?

• 5:52Speaker 03

  I think it's just jealousy, honestly.

• 5:54Caleb Hammer?

  Jealousy of thirty one thousand dollars a year?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  I mean, I guess, cause like, they have, like, they have their own house. They're paying their own bills. They can't really spend much to go out. No, not really. I don't want a house.

• 6:07Caleb Hammer?

  So you think everyone is petty jealous?

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:11Caleb Hammer?

  Where I have a note that when you're with your cousin, you said to Colton that it was too much drama with her and her man.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  I mean, that also, yeah. I guess he didn't like the way that I spent my money. I mean.

• 6:24Caleb Hammer?

  What? That doesn't make any sense. How does it always come back to that? What do you mean? Why, why, why does her, your cousin's man's opinion on you spending your money?

• 6:33Speaker 03

  I guess because he doesn't work.

• 6:34Caleb Hammer?

  Him living there, huh?

• 6:35Speaker 03

  He doesn't work. He don't make his own money. So I guess him seeing me spend my money.

• 6:41Caleb Hammer?

  So he kicks you out?

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Well, technically her, but yeah.

• 6:46Caleb Hammer?

  What? That doesn't make any sense. Can you explain how that makes sense and how that works?

• 6:51Speaker 03

  I don't know. She just kind of does what he says. I don't know. She's a bread maker.

• 6:56Caleb Hammer?

  Say, he, he's a, she's a what?

• 6:58Speaker 03

  She's a bread maker, the breadwinner.

• 7:00Caleb Hammer?

  Breadwinner, sure. So I'm, I'm confused how this worked out. I feel like I am not getting the full story here, buddy. Why you ended up back home with the parents at twenty nine? Kicked out from the cousins because the unemployed one didn't like how you were spending your money? I'm, I'm confused how that makes sense. They would have to have not liked something else to kick you out.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  No, I mean.

• 7:20Caleb Hammer?

  Fine, call them. Will he back this up?

• 7:23Speaker 03

  No, their numbers are blocked.

• 7:24Caleb Hammer?

  Both of their numbers, you blocked your cousin?

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:29Caleb Hammer?

  I've never blocked a family member, be honest.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Oh, I got plenty. We can go through it.

• 7:33Caleb Hammer?

  I'm sure you do. And that's why it is suggesting to me it is likely not just because of how you spent your money. Unless you're paying for prostitutes to come over every day or getting coke all over the table.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 7:44Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, then that doesn't really make any sense.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  I don't know. I just, I'm a bad bitch and I like a bougie lifestyle and I guess they can't have it.

• 7:52Caleb Hammer?

  What bougie lifestyle do you live on thirty one thousand hours a year?

• 7:55Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 7:56Caleb Hammer?

  What were you paying them in rent?

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Them, I think it was like six hundred a month.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so.

• 8:04Caleb Hammer?

  What was this bougie lifestyle and why, what, bad, they don't like bad, what do you mean?

• 8:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 8:09Caleb Hammer?

  Or you're a bad roommate?

• 8:11Speaker 03

  No, no, I just like to go out, buy food.

• 8:14Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, well, I don't understand how that would impact them.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  I mean, it's because I can't do it.

• 8:18Caleb Hammer?

  This does not make any sense. I'm confused. I'm confused. I feel like I am not getting an honest representation of the events that led you back home to your parents.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  No, yeah, that's it. I mean, after getting kicked out from there, I ended up going to my friend's house. I lived there, probably like, maybe like four, four months, four or five months.

• 8:42Caleb Hammer?

  And?

• 8:43Speaker 03

  I guess there.

• 8:44Caleb Hammer?

  Why aren't you there?

• 8:44Speaker 03

  It was, well, it was just a small space and like, we had.

• 8:49Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, if you're living.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Two dogs.

• 8:51Caleb Hammer?

  If you're living with someone else that's being very nice and letting you crash there, what's wrong with that?

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Hmm, I don't know. I guess we were just clashing.

• 9:00Caleb Hammer?

  Sounds like you clash with everyone. Why were you clashing?

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Um, well.

• 9:04Caleb Hammer?

  Are you a petty sassy gay?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 9:08Caleb Hammer?

  Because we love a sassy gay. I don't know if we love a petty sassy gay.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  I mean, I can be whatever.

• 9:14Caleb Hammer?

  I feel like you're a petty sassy gay.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Hmm, yeah, I can be.

• 9:20Caleb Hammer?

  I'm a petty, straight, Colton's a sassy gay.

• 9:28Caleb Hammer?

  We love them, but then you get petty, sassy gay?

• 9:31Speaker 03

  It's the best.

• 9:32Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's a supervillain.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:35Caleb Hammer?

  That can't maintain housing because no one would want to be around them.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm a good vibe.

• 9:42Caleb Hammer?

  Why are you here?

• 9:44Speaker 03

  To get some help, I guess, financially.

• 9:47Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, what made you decide to come on the show?

• 9:49Speaker 03

  I was told to come. My mystic, my personal guidance, she told me that she would see me on the show.

• 9:55Caleb Hammer?

  A person. A mystic is a person.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:57Caleb Hammer?

  The fuck is a mystic?

• 9:59Speaker 03

  A guidance, like, how do you not know what a mystic is?

• 10:01Caleb Hammer?

  The only one that'll allow you to be in their life for more than five months because you pay them?

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Uh, no.

• 10:06Caleb Hammer?

  You don't pay your mystic?

• 10:07Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah, I do.

• 10:08Caleb Hammer?

  Hmm.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Used to be monthly. Now we see each other weekly.

• 10:12Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, you've ramped up the mystic?

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean.

• 10:16Caleb Hammer?

  What do you have a cross? Are you, I guess I'm confused on your religion.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  I mean, I can have a cross and still explore, have fun.

• 10:24Caleb Hammer?

  What is mystic?

• 10:25Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 10:26Caleb Hammer?

  If you're mystic, invited you to be here, maybe mystic is correct.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  I mean, you know, they read the cards, they read the stars.

• 10:35Caleb Hammer?

  They guide you. Star said, come to Austin for financial audit?

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, my brother also told me, but she was the main one.

• 10:43Caleb Hammer?

  How much is she?

• 10:44Speaker 03

  How much is she?

• 10:45Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, and your mystic.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  Oh, weekly?

• 10:47Caleb Hammer?

  Yes.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  About a hundred each session.

• 10:49Caleb Hammer?

  How are you affording that?

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Hmm, kinda, you know, I ask grandma for some money, ask her, I'll tell her like.

• 10:56Caleb Hammer?

  Grandma?

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:57Caleb Hammer?

  But you moved in with mom and dad? And you're asking grandma for money?

• 11:01Speaker 03

  I'll ask her for, you know, some money for like, cause I have a dog, like I said, I have a dog and two cats.

• 11:06Caleb Hammer?

  You probably shouldn't.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  I have a friend, she actually.

• 11:08Caleb Hammer?

  You probably shouldn't.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Well, he's my best friend.

• 11:11Caleb Hammer?

  And you probably shouldn't have him.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  But yeah, I'll ask her for money, be like, I need dog food or cat food.

• 11:16Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, this is why you shouldn't have them. That's disgusting.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  And then I will go.

• 11:19Caleb Hammer?

  Come on, that's gross.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  To my once a week session with my mystic.

• 11:24Caleb Hammer?

  Twenty-six hits your account on a monthly basis? You spend $400 a month on your mystic?

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:30Caleb Hammer?

  Fifteen, over fifteen percent of your income goes to that bullshit, bullshit. And you can't even afford to take care of your own animals and you move back in with your parents at twenty-nine?

• 11:39Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 11:40Caleb Hammer?

  What the are you doing?

• 11:41Speaker 03

  They're being fed.

• 11:42Caleb Hammer?

  Be your grandmother!

• 11:45Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm her favorite.

• 11:47Caleb Hammer?

  Right?

• 11:49Speaker 03

  I'm her favorite, so if I ask her, she'll say yes.

• 11:52Caleb Hammer?

  She's your favorite for possibly why?

• 11:54Speaker 03

  I'm just the fun one out of all the grandchildren.

• 11:56Caleb Hammer?

  But everyone kicks you out after you live with them. And then you block them. Have you blocked your friend?

• 12:01Speaker 03

  No, I go see her once a week for our weekly sessions.

• 12:05Caleb Hammer?

  Is that your mystic?

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that's my mystic, yeah.

• 12:07Caleb Hammer?

  The one you moved in with?

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 12:10Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck?

• 12:12Speaker 03

  That's my Mystic.

• 12:13Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck buddy, this is a mess.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  That's my best friend.

• 12:16Caleb Hammer?

  You moved in with that person and now you're still giving them. Does she know you're her best friend? Because you pay her, you literally pay her to hang out.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, she does.

• 12:26Caleb Hammer?

  You pay her to hang.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Whenever I need to call her also.

• 12:29Caleb Hammer?

  And why would she consider you? A client?

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, plus her best friend.

• 12:33Caleb Hammer?

  No.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:35Caleb Hammer?

  You said you'd go see her once a week.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:37Caleb Hammer?

  If you were best friends, you'd be hanging out outside of that.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  I mean, we call each other, but when we do our sessions.

• 12:42Caleb Hammer?

  I'm sure she charges for it.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 12:45Caleb Hammer?

  Does she?

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Uh-huh, no, not the other calls, but during our sessions, yes. Like if I have questions about a certain thing or I need, you know, some guidance, then you know, I'll call her for a session.

• 12:58Caleb Hammer?

  So what's going on in here? Cause we know you don't make a lot of money for the area. You moved back in with parents after crashing out with everyone and your only friend is someone you pay. What is happening in here? What's going on? What are we talking about today?

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Ah, debt.

• 13:10Caleb Hammer?

  I'm glad your Mystic's a friend of, uh, fan of the show. Thank you, Miss Mystic.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Um, here, we're here today to talk about my debt.

• 13:19Caleb Hammer?

  Your debt?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  What I owe.

• 13:21Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, why you? How much debt you have?

• 13:24Speaker 03

  I think, I don't quite remember.

• 13:26Caleb Hammer?

  What's your lifestyle you got? What did it result in?

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Ah, I don't remember.

• 13:30Caleb Hammer?

  You don't remember?

• 13:31Speaker 03

  I don't look at the bank account, I just spend.

• 13:32Caleb Hammer?

  No, what, how much debt do you think you have? You, come on, sorry.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Maybe like twenty-six thousand in debt.

• 13:38Caleb Hammer?

  Oh. Oh, you're, you're, oh no, you're the version of a petty sassy guy.

• 13:47Caleb Hammer?

  Sixty thousand, seven hundred, ten dollars and eighty-one cents.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Hmm, yeah. That.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  It's a big amount.

• 13:57Caleb Hammer?

  You're poor.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  But, uh.

• 13:58Caleb Hammer?

  You're poor in what world? No. Go on, tell, tell me how you're not poor.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  I mean, like I said, I'll just ask grandma for some money.

• 14:08Caleb Hammer?

  Would that not indicate poor?

• 14:10Speaker 03

  No, cause I still get money.

• 14:13Caleb Hammer?

  You don't have money.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  I mean, I have other people I talk to and if I ask them for money, they'll send it to.

• 14:18Caleb Hammer?

  What's your net worth?

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Eee, I don't know.

• 14:21Caleb Hammer?

  You don't know your net worth?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  Uh, no.

• 14:24Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, well, your checking and savings combined is fifteen dollars and sixty four cents.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:30Caleb Hammer?

  So I would suggest your net worth is negative almost sixty one thousand dollars. You are broke, you are poor, you have nothing, you have nothing.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 14:41Caleb Hammer?

  You get money from grandma, indicating that you are a child. You move back in with mommy and daddy, not necessarily a bad thing in most cultures, but in our cultures suggests you are a child.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  I mean, I do make money.

• 14:53Caleb Hammer?

  After getting kicked out from multiple people, including the one you pay to be your friend. Uh huh. Yeah, you get money thirty thousand dollars a year and I'm not shaming you for that, but look how you're living with it. What, you get more than that? Are you saying, is there a side hustle?

• 15:08Speaker 03

  Well, there's that and then also about the job part, I actually got laid off, so I don't have a job.

• 15:18Caleb Hammer?

  Wow.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Maybe when I got the call from here, actually.

• 15:27Caleb Hammer?

  What is this little sound you make after?

• 15:28Speaker 03

  I was, I mean.

• 15:29Caleb Hammer?

  You always go.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  I don't know. So I ended up being.

• 15:37Caleb Hammer?

  You know, you're a dick. We don't allow people to come on that don't have a job. You get the call and then you get laid off afterwards and you don't let us know you're a prick. And I'll still do this because there's gonna be people, listen, it's a high laid off year, actually, so I, more people relate to it than before, unfortunately.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  I applied for unemployment, so hopefully something will be coming in.

• 15:57Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, why'd you get, it sounds more like fired than laid off because you mentioned being late, but go ahead, what happened?

• 16:01Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah.

• 16:02Caleb Hammer?

  Tell me what happened.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Basically, that morning I had got a call from the producers. I was, I mean, I was sitting outside at work, so I was on the camera at work, but, um.

• 16:16Caleb Hammer?

  Are you saying we got you fired?

• 16:18Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 16:19Caleb Hammer?

  You decided to take the call.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, I had to. I wanted to be on the show.

• 16:23Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, but you could have contacted, hey, different time, please. Thank you.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  No, I didn't want to miss the call. Anyway, so I ended up taking the call. I was late, like, maybe ten minutes. So I guess they marked it off as a strike. So as soon as I walked in, they said, texted, my boss had texted me, let's go into the meeting room to have a little chat. Went to the meeting room. She said that I had been continuously late.

• 16:50Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so it wasn't the call. It wasn't us. It was you been late consistently.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  But it's like ten minutes, ten, five minutes that I've been late.

• 16:59Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Well, this was like the third strike for her and but I also think, I don't think they really liked me there, honestly.

• 17:07Caleb Hammer?

  Probably not. No one seems to like you anywhere. Have you realized that yet? Are you picking up the trend?

• 17:13Speaker 03

  That's their problem, not mine.

• 17:14Caleb Hammer?

  Actually, it ends up being your problem. I don't think they're affected anymore. They fired you. They got rid of the person they didn't like. Now you don't have money.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  But I did my job.

• 17:22Caleb Hammer?

  Late.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  But it was done.

• 17:25Caleb Hammer?

  That's obviously against their rules.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  No.

• 17:28Caleb Hammer?

  You have to follow the rules of the employer.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  I mean, I wasn't dealing with being late.

• 17:31Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 17:32Speaker 03

  There was other people being late, too.

• 17:33Caleb Hammer?

  Cool, they're probably getting strikes, you tit, or they use it as an excuse to fire you because you were miserable to be around.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 17:40Caleb Hammer?

  You don't know.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  I think I'm a fun person to be around.

• 17:43Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, but every single instance of everyone you've told me about tries to get away from you, and the only person that's sticking around is someone you pay. Oh, your mystic works there, too. Oh, my.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Uh, she's the one that got me the job. We had a session.

• 17:58Caleb Hammer?

  They'll never accept her referral again.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  I don't know. But anyways, yeah, I had no job at the time either. I told her I was having these issues. I didn't know what to do. So we had a quick little session. She read my card. She saw, she said that she had saw me working with her. So I ended up applying, and I got the job. But yeah, she got fired a couple of months after.

• 18:21Caleb Hammer?

  For what?

• 18:22Speaker 03

  For being late also.

• 18:23Caleb Hammer?

  You need to detach yourself from this person. You both are failures.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  No, I mean, she guides me to, she guided me here.

• 18:28Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, she guided you to the job that you both got fired from.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  But I mean, I still had the job, though.

• 18:36Caleb Hammer?

  You don't today, isn't that all that matters?

• 18:40Caleb Hammer?

  What are you doing? So how long, when did you get that call? How long have you been laid off for?

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Hmm, what are we, in October?

• 18:47Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, Colton told me, you told him, you think you got fired because you're gay?

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, it goes back to my lifestyle, like, I'm so sorry.

• 18:55Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, the lifestyle you've talked about this entire-

• 18:57Speaker 03

  That were always jealous.

• 18:59Caleb Hammer?

  What, women love gays?

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Um, not them. Clearly not.

• 19:04Caleb Hammer?

  Clearly not?

• 19:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 19:06Caleb Hammer?

  Go on, and we're gonna need more information than that. If this is a discriminatory lawsuit that you're able to get money from, please, describe.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, I know they didn't like me because multiple occasions I caught them talking shit about me.

• 19:17Caleb Hammer?

  Well, no, no one likes you, but it's probably not because you're gay.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  I mean, well, it could be.

• 19:24Caleb Hammer?

  I don't dislike you because you're gay. I dislike you because you're not able to reflect on anything that's happened in your life and realize a pattern.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  I mean, everybody has different opinions. Am I like me because I'm gay? They might, they didn't.

• 19:35Caleb Hammer?

  Are you able to suggest any type of proof or examples that would indicate they didn't like you because you're gay?

• 19:42Speaker 03

  Hmm, I, hmm.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Maybe I was the only gay guy working there.

• 19:49Caleb Hammer?

  Do you know that? I don't know, that, that is not, that's not proof, that's not proof.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  I mean, they didn't like me to begin with. They didn't even like me before I started working there.

• 19:58Caleb Hammer?

  Tyler's the only black producer we have here, and if I fire him for being a producer, it doesn't mean I fired him for being black. That's not how it works because you're the only gay person there.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 20:09Caleb Hammer?

  If I have to fire Colton because he's bad at his job, well, we're surrounded by like fifty other gays at the company, so.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  I mean, there were different things. I caught, I always caught them conversating. I mean, I went to the boss, the boss didn't like me, so she didn't do much. Then I went to HR, nothing was done either, and then eventually let go.

• 20:24Caleb Hammer?

  Because of the, because they were talking behind your back?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:27Caleb Hammer?

  Well, I don't know. They weren't the people firing. They were just your coworkers, right?

• 20:32Speaker 03

  I mean, one of them was the team lead, so I mean.

• 20:34Caleb Hammer?

  You very clearly got your three strikes within a certain period of time for being late, and that is very obviously the reason you got fired. How are you connecting this to anything else? You know you were late, you saw the strikes, you knew the policy.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  I mean, I always talk, and it's not the first time that when they don't like someone, their goal is to get them fired. It's been proven multiple times.

• 20:53Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh, are you just throwing away the thing I just said? Where you knew the policy, you recognized that you were late, and you got fired for it.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  I mean, I told them I was gonna be late. So it's not like I wasn't letting them know, besides that last time I didn't know.

• 21:08Caleb Hammer?

  So what's the goal now? How long you staying at home?

• 21:10Speaker 03

  Uh, I wanna move out.

• 21:13Caleb Hammer?

  You wanna move out?

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 21:14Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, how long have you been unemployed now?

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Hmm, August, September, one of those two.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Beginning of September, now I remember.

• 21:26Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh, and what have you done to try to go get another job?

• 21:30Speaker 03

  I mean, I've been applying to jobs.

• 21:32Caleb Hammer?

  Mm hmm.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  But that's it.

• 21:34Caleb Hammer?

  How many? Are you curating your resume specifically for each job? This isn't the best job market, I'll be honest. Luckily, you're in a major city that helps you a lot, that's where the jobs are.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  I mean, I guess.

• 21:44Caleb Hammer?

  Texas is a booming economy, I think it was the second fastest growing economy. Thanksgiving's great and all, but between flights, grocery bills, and early Black Friday deals, your wallet might be less thankful this year. And that's why today's sponsor, Kickoff, deserves some appreciation. It's the number one credit building app in the App Store, and it makes building credit simple, even if you've messed up before. I used to think credit was for boomers with mortgages. But it turns out, it's literally for everything. Kickoff helped me get my act together without overcomplicating it. Plans start at just $5 a month, no credit checks, no hidden fees, and if you're under 600, users see an average credit bump of 84 points in the first year with on-time payments.

• 22:26Caleb Hammer?

  Set up autopay, kickback, and let your credit grow with every on-time payment. It is that easy. Start building credit with Kickoff today, and get your first month for as little as $1. That is 80% off the normal price when you go to getkikoff.com/caleb. That is kickoff without the C, get to K I K O F F dot com slash Caleb. Thanks again to Kickoff for sponsoring, let's get back to the video. Wanna know a dirty little secret? And now, I'm not starting an only. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck, that is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use DollarWise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one simple dashboard.

• 23:11Caleb Hammer?

  Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download DollarWise today, you'll get it to try it for free, plus three months for just $9.99. So you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. Last year, why am I being number one? But there's also like no economy there, or North Dakota. There's like barely an economy there, so it's easy to grow it percent wise year over year. Either way, whatever. Good opportunities here.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  I mean, I've been applying to jobs, I just, I don't get them.

• 23:40Caleb Hammer?

  Well, no.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  I mean, I threw out my resume.

• 23:43Caleb Hammer?

  Per job or just once?

• 23:45Speaker 03

  No, just in general.

• 23:45Caleb Hammer?

  You have to per job. Cause it gets put through like an AI filtering thing. And then maybe you'll get a job, a call from the recruiter. What types of jobs are we trying to get?

• 23:57Speaker 03

  Well, I did go last year to school for an accounting assistant certificate.

• 24:02Caleb Hammer?

  Did you get it?

• 24:03Speaker 03

  I did, but I mean, I've been applying for accounting assistant positions since then. I haven't got anything.

• 24:08Caleb Hammer?

  It's hard, businesses aren't really investing in people right now. I mean, I'll take a look at your resume later in the episode or in the post show, but I'll get you an accounting certification through Course Careers. A lot of people have gotten that in the audio.

• 24:19Speaker 00

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• 24:44Caleb Hammer?

  Fans are on the show and it's helped them increase their revenue substantially, or their income, or get a better job. So hopefully that'll help, but this is a tough job market.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  I also did take classes in July for bartending as well. But no job either. I mean, I've been applying, but that's it. No jobs yet.

• 25:06Caleb Hammer?

  The is a bartending class?

• 25:09Speaker 03

  Like you learn how to bartend, make the drinks.

• 25:10Caleb Hammer?

  Most people learn by getting a job.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  I don't know, I wanted to learn first.

• 25:15Caleb Hammer?

  YouTube.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  YouTube was boring. It didn't really teach stuff.

• 25:19Caleb Hammer?

  Bullshit.

• 25:22Caleb Hammer?

  Well.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  That's why I took the classes instead. But I haven't finished paying off the classes yet either.

• 25:28Caleb Hammer?

  Of course, how much did you spend on your bartending classes?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  It was six hundred for the class. I think I still owe three hundred. But I did give my T B T A B C already, though.

• 25:39Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 25:40Speaker 03

  I think that was like fifteen dollars. To be able to handle alcohol. That's what it is.

• 25:43Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, right. Yeah. Okay.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  And the food handlers.

• 25:45Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Here's the thing, big guy. Here's the thing. This bougie lifestyle that you're obsessed with living, which is why you think people don't like you. By the way, that's not the reason, but either way, it's bougie lifestyle. And what way do you think you're able to still sustain it? When I have the month of September here, and if that is apparently the month that you are unemployed, your spending should not essentially be anything other than minimum necessities.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Well, that's why I came to you. To make a budget for me.

• 26:10Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, I can make a budget for you if you follow me. Try to make.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  To teach me how to make more money.

• 26:15Caleb Hammer?

  If you are stuck living in the bougie lifestyle cycle, if we don't change that, you're. You can't, I can't. Get you out of bouge. The desire for bouge, I can't get you out of it. It would have to be managing heavily. Yeah. How was spent last month in the month that you were unemployed? Please, come on. How was it? Oh, money's coming in from weird sources, but yeah, what was spent?

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Hmm, I really don't know either.

• 26:40Caleb Hammer?

  Think, try to put yourself into last month. Think about what you were doing. How much you think was spent?

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Maybe like six hundred dollars in, oh, wait, we just ended September. Yeah, maybe like a thousand.

• 26:53Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, three thousand four hundred, ten, fifteen dollars and two cents. About a year, you're broken. You don't know anything about your numbers at all.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:01Caleb Hammer?

  You don't know your diet, you don't know your spending.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  I just spent.

• 27:05Caleb Hammer?

  Believe that two thousand six hundred that came in anymore, and now it's not.

• 27:10Caleb Hammer?

  Wait, why am I, okay, Colton's texting me that you can't get a bartending certificate or license. Why?

• 27:18Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 27:19Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, because you haven't paid for the full class yet.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. I mean, but I, I took the classes, so I did learn. And I also have my T T A B C. So I mean, it kind of balances out.

• 27:30Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah. How many bartending jobs have you applied to? And what's on your resume for the bartending jobs?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  I have it at the bottom of my resume, the accounting assistant certificate and the bartending license.

• 27:40Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh. And what's your job experience showed for the bartending?

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Nothing. Just the classes we're taking.

• 27:46Caleb Hammer?

  No jobs? No jobs are listed there?

• 27:48Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:48Caleb Hammer?

  On your bartending, on the resume to apply for jobs?

• 27:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:52Caleb Hammer?

  So you're showing 29 years old, never worked a job in your life?

• 27:55Speaker 03

  No, I mean, I have my jobs, but not for bartending.

• 27:58Caleb Hammer?

  What jobs?

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Oh, I mean, the one that I had.

• 28:01Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah. So you know what's gonna happen, right? Because unfortunately bartender would be a big switch because you don't have that experience. I take the accounting thing off at the bottom for the bartending jobs. And I would try to curate and slightly manipulate your resume a little to navigate towards the bartending because what they're gonna see is they're looking for, what they're gonna see is that they would hire you and you're gonna be there only for a couple of months because you would leave to get the job you actually wanted. You have to curate to the job, make it look like you want to stay, like you want that job. You have to play the game.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. I'll do it. I'll try.

• 28:36Caleb Hammer?

  Mm hmm.

• 28:38Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, big guy. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst, 10 being the best?

• 28:47Speaker 03

  I give it like a five, in between.

• 28:50Caleb Hammer?

  Explain.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  I mean, I like to spend. Most of my bills are paid, if I remember. Some of them will get paid. So I give it a five.

• 29:02Caleb Hammer?

  So that's middle of the road. Sometimes we pay our bills. What are you?

• 29:05Speaker 03

  A Leo.

• 29:06Caleb Hammer?

  I don't even know. I don't know when that is and what comes with it.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  It's an August. Well.

• 29:13Caleb Hammer?

  If you want your financial score, take the assessment. It is free at Calebhammer.com. It just takes you a few minutes. You can see where you stand, where you need to do better, where you are already doing pretty well. And if you don't want to be like a guest on this show, make sure you download the Dollar Wise Budgeting app. It is my preferred budgeting app. Sign up for the free trial and if you like it, sign up for the annual version to save a ton of money. And if you do, I will sign personally, budget my budget friendly cookbook and I'll mail it directly to you. And that is going away in just a couple of months. So last opportunity is popping up now. Dollarwise.com to learn more there.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 29:50Caleb Hammer?

  I'll send them to these documents. Okay, this venture one, yeah, you have a, I mean, I see, I see things on here. And again, you can't afford to take care of this animal. It's very selfish for you. So you just have one dog, right? At least?

• 30:03Speaker 03

  Hmm, no.

• 30:05Caleb Hammer?

  No, cuz you said you have a few cats. What was the animal situation?

• 30:09Speaker 03

  Dog wise, so personally, I have one dog. But I did have other dogs.

• 30:14Caleb Hammer?

  You had other dogs?

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I kinda gave them to my mom, pushed them to the side. I have-

• 30:19Caleb Hammer?

  Did she want them?

• 30:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:22Caleb Hammer?

  Is she managing them?

• 30:24Speaker 03

  Yes. I mean, but the dogs love them.

• 30:28Caleb Hammer?

  Three dogs? You just dropped three dogs off at the house and said, "Good luck"?

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Four. Four dogs.

• 30:34Caleb Hammer?

  Four?

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Two Chihuahuas.

• 30:37Caleb Hammer?

  Why the fuck did you have these dogs? You can't afford to take care of yourself. It is so selfish and disgusting of you.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  I wanted the dogs. I wanted the inside dog.

• 30:44Caleb Hammer?

  Why did exactly you did? You're selfish, you're nasty, you're disgusting.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Well, they didn't wanna be inside, they wanted to be outside.

• 30:51Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 30:51Speaker 03

  So I kinda just pushed them to my mom.

• 30:53Caleb Hammer?

  Huh? What does that have to do with anything?

• 30:55Speaker 03

  Well-

• 30:56Caleb Hammer?

  Them being outside.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:58Caleb Hammer?

  Take them on walks, welcome to being a dog caretaker, owner, whatever the fuck you wanna call it, parent.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Beforehand, when I had my apartment, before all this, way back when, I would get-

• 31:08Caleb Hammer?

  What, two years ago?

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Uh, maybe, yeah, yeah.

• 31:10Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, way back when.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  I would get dogs. Well, I would get a dog and I wanted them to be inside dogs. But they wouldn't wanna be inside, so-

• 31:20Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, dogs like to go outside. No shit. You fucking tit.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I just gave them to my mom. And the cats-

• 31:28Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Cats were kind of, friends would give me cats and I would kinda just give them to my mom. Her house is bigger than my, than my old apartment, so-

• 31:39Caleb Hammer?

  How many square feet?

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 31:40Caleb Hammer?

  How many square feet? It's her house.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  I have no idea.

• 31:44Caleb Hammer?

  How many bedrooms and bathrooms?

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Hmm, five bedrooms, two bathrooms. Just cuz it's that many rooms, it's not a big house, though. Not humongous.

• 31:54Caleb Hammer?

  That's what I was assuming with two bathrooms.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:58Caleb Hammer?

  And you're, it's just loaded up with animals that you can't take care of to save your life.

• 32:05Caleb Hammer?

  It's very selfish.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  I mean, they're fat.

• 32:06Caleb Hammer?

  So what has your debt payoff strategy been, if anything?

• 32:09Speaker 03

  Uh, so my goal, I mean, is to be debt free by 2026.

• 32:13Caleb Hammer?

  Good. Yeah, but how are you supposed to be accomplishing that?

• 32:16Speaker 03

  By what my mystic had told me. When we had one of our sessions, she kind of read my cards and told me by 2026, I would be debt free.

• 32:25Caleb Hammer?

  The card said that? No, you know what actions you actually have to put in? It's you building a budget, following it, making sacrifices, going out and getting a killing. Oh, dude, it's not a card. It's your actions. It doesn't just happen. So what? You're gonna win the lottery? You're gonna get hit by a car and you're gonna be able to sue for a lot of money? Like, what's gonna happen? What was the, what did the card say was gonna happen to get you there, big guy?

• 32:50Speaker 03

  I mean, the card's just read that I would be debt free and successful in the year 2020, 26, sorry.

• 32:56Caleb Hammer?

  How? Which, by the way, is only in a few months when it starts, but how?

• 33:01Speaker 03

  Everything's possible.

• 33:02Caleb Hammer?

  How?

• 33:02Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 33:03Caleb Hammer?

  Come on, let's.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  Maybe.

• 33:04Caleb Hammer?

  What's the strategy?

• 33:06Speaker 03

  I can do OnlyFans.

• 33:08Caleb Hammer?

  No, you can't.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Oh, what do you mean, no?

• 33:12Caleb Hammer?

  You're, you're not that guy.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Try me.

• 33:15Caleb Hammer?

  No, no, thank you. You are the Hispanic puffier cheek version of me and gay. Look, we both got a five head. Put on, that was my, that was my gayer haircut before I started doing perms. You, you look, you do look like the Hispanic gay puffy cheek version of me. You're not that guy.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  The better version.

• 33:34Caleb Hammer?

  You're not that guy.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  I am. I'm a bad bitch.

• 33:38Caleb Hammer?

  Put this on.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 33:40Caleb Hammer?

  Don't touch the lens, this is a glass animal.

• 33:44Caleb Hammer?

  Now, editor, bring in when I had this haircut. Bring in when I had this haircut.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  Even with contacts, the fact that I can see with your glasses.

• 33:55Caleb Hammer?

  Can you not see without them?

• 33:57Speaker 03

  I'm, my contacts.

• 33:59Caleb Hammer?

  What is wrong with you? You're not wearing them?

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I am.

• 34:01Caleb Hammer?

  Give me, give me.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  So we're twins?

• 34:08Caleb Hammer?

  No, you're the puffy taco.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  My twin flame. There we go.

• 34:11Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Twin flame. We're connected.

• 34:14Caleb Hammer?

  I'm just saying, you're not that guy. I'm not that guy. We're not that guy.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  I am that guy.

• 34:20Caleb Hammer?

  You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. You're not that guy. No, you would not be able to post hole. No one's paying for hole.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  I mean, I already have it.

• 34:28Caleb Hammer?

  I know you have hole.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  No, no, only.

• 34:31Caleb Hammer?

  And how, did you know this? Colton didn't even know this.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  My bad. I mean, I don't really, I mean, I post on it.

• 34:38Caleb Hammer?

  How much you make?

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 34:40Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh. So that's your strategy is to keep posting on the thing that brings in zero dollars? Is it literally zero?

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Uh, I think I have like 20 bucks on it right now.

• 34:50Caleb Hammer?

  What is that, two subs?

• 34:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so. No. I think it was one, just reoccurring though.

• 34:56Caleb Hammer?

  Someone who forgot to cancel. Someone who was curious a long time ago and didn't forget.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  I still get paid for it?

• 35:02Caleb Hammer?

  No shit, but it's not like actively going for you. And what? You're just every once in a while posting a hole for him?

• 35:08Speaker 03

  I mean, I also have plants that I sell.

• 35:11Caleb Hammer?

  It's probably the mystic, isn't it?

• 35:12Speaker 03

  No. She's lesbian.

• 35:15Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh, but she's supportive of her boy.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  But yeah, I also do sell plants on the side.

• 35:24Caleb Hammer?

  Sell weed? Sell weed.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  I'm not a crackhead, okay?

• 35:28Caleb Hammer?

  Well, it's weed, not crack.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Still. No.

• 35:32Caleb Hammer?

  I'm also, you know, taking the Hispanic nature of things.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Wait, oh, no. I sell plants, just regular plants.

• 35:40Caleb Hammer?

  And?

• 35:41Speaker 03

  I have 350 plants.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  So I sell a lot of those.

• 35:48Caleb Hammer?

  And?

• 35:49Speaker 03

  I mean, that's some type of money.

• 35:50Caleb Hammer?

  How much?

• 35:52Speaker 03

  I mean, some of them are like five dollars, 10 dollars.

• 35:56Caleb Hammer?

  So I can't add it to this?

• 35:58Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 35:59Caleb Hammer?

  A month on average? Ha ha. How much?

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Maybe like a hundred bucks.

• 36:06Caleb Hammer?

  I can't believe that.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  It's the money?

• 36:10Caleb Hammer?

  What is your fake little laugh out there? Everything is obnoxious.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  It's fun.

• 36:15Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's not. You know, you're in a podcast. Every single cent, every single second of audio is being recorded right now and you're just making little boos constantly.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 36:29Caleb Hammer?

  Not giving the second person to sign up for that OF, I'll tell you that.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Oh, we can try.

• 36:34Caleb Hammer?

  You can certainly try.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  I'll post more.

• 36:37Caleb Hammer?

  No, you're not that guy. Capital One Venture One. Two thousand eighty-three dollars and twenty-nine cents. Minimum due one forty-nine. I think it's usually, what, seventy-five? Because that is probably amplified due to.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  A past payment.

• 36:53Caleb Hammer?

  Now, why? Now, why? Why? Because you're getting unemployed, you had money, you're making money, you but you. Your parents cover everything, your grandma gives you money, why? Why are you late on a seventy-five dollar payment, which is now doubled to one hundred and fifty? Why?

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Well, because I took a trip to Chicago.

• 37:11Caleb Hammer?

  Who the are you to think you get to? Is that funny?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  I mean, I had to go see Lady Gaga. No, she's not coming to Houston. Well, now, oh, no, she's coming to Austin and Dallas, not Houston. But beforehand, she wasn't, so I had to go see her in Chicago. Great concert.

• 37:26Caleb Hammer?

  Well, unemployed?

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:28Caleb Hammer?

  You're a joke.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  Gotta have fun.

• 37:30Caleb Hammer?

  No, you're a joke. No, that's not a joke. You're a joke. You're a child. You do not get to splurge, go to a concert when unemployed and you owe money and you're living off of your grandmother. You disgusting creature. Who are you? What kind of entitlement piece of shit is in front of me right now? What is wrong with you?

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Nothing.

• 37:52Caleb Hammer?

  You don't get to go to Lady Gaga, certainly not across the country, south to north.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  It was fun, though.

• 37:59Caleb Hammer?

  I'm I'm sure it was, you disgusting beast.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  I mean, the tickets were already paid for. I just bought the plane ticket and the hotel.

• 38:08Caleb Hammer?

  Where's the plane ticket?

• 38:09Speaker 03

  Um, like three hundred, three, four hundred?

• 38:13Caleb Hammer?

  You're you're disgusting. You borrow almost that much from your grandma a month and you take that and go to Chicago for Lady Gaga. That is, are you not recognizing how disgusting that is?

• 38:28Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:28Caleb Hammer?

  Because I went to go have fun. Selfish asshole.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  Well, I have to live life.

• 38:33Caleb Hammer?

  No, you can live life when you afford to do it. You are stealing from grandma to try to make it sound like you're paying the bills and then you're taking a flight. You're a disgusting, selfish piece of shit.

• 38:48Caleb Hammer?

  I'm being candid right now. You are a bad person.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Well.

• 38:54Caleb Hammer?

  No, you're a bad person.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  Well, I have to have fun.

• 38:57Caleb Hammer?

  You are a bad person. I need you to know you are a bad person.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  And that's okay.

• 39:02Caleb Hammer?

  You're accepting of it. You're okay with being a bad person because it's not like you're impacting a random person on the street. This is your grandmother.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  Well, I know she has money, so I mean.

• 39:12Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, wow. Wow. Oh, my goodness.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  If I don't have it, I can ask for it.

• 39:18Caleb Hammer?

  Wow, you're horrible. You're a degenerate. You are horrible, man. I'm not saying this as an insult. I am saying for you to know, if no one has ever told you the truth and reality about you being a dog shit version of a human,

• 39:39Caleb Hammer?

  you're a bad person, straight up.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Not really. No.

• 39:44Caleb Hammer?

  Go ahead. Tell me how and what rebuttal would there be?

• 39:47Speaker 03

  I mean,

• 39:52Speaker 03

  I mean, I still help out.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  So.

• 39:55Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  I'm not that bad of a person.

• 39:57Caleb Hammer?

  Tell me you still help out.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  I mean, like when she asked, like, if I could take her to the doctor's office, I'll take her. Or she has a cat too. She has two cats. So if they need help.

• 40:07Caleb Hammer?

  To the doctor you think is worth manipulating her for money? Because you tell her you're gonna pay your bills and then you don't, and then you fly to Chicago with the money? Or give it to your friend who you pay to be your friend?

• 40:19Speaker 03

  My mistake.

• 40:19Caleb Hammer?

  For 15% a month of your, well, past income. I guess that doesn't even count anymore. You're a piece of shit. And then the lodging and food, how much did you spend in Chicago?

• 40:29Speaker 03

  Hmm, maybe like six, seven hun-

• 40:33Speaker 01

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• 41:02Speaker 03

  That was the hotel, the Ubers, the food, going out.

• 41:09Caleb Hammer?

  I spent a thousand two hundred, a thousand two hundred to a thousand three hundred on this trip while unemployed and getting the money from your grandma to pay your bills and then we look in your behind on a credit card so that you can go to Lady Gaga in Chicago. Gross.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Again, it was fun.

• 41:26Caleb Hammer?

  No. Oh my goodness, I don't, what do I do with someone like you? Um, I know it was fun. No one's arguing that. I want to be clear. And I also want to be vitamittily clear. I actually want you to go.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  I have another concert this week too, actually.

• 41:43Caleb Hammer?

  Where?

• 41:44Speaker 03

  This Tuesday.

• 41:44Caleb Hammer?

  Where?

• 41:45Speaker 03

  In Houston.

• 41:46Caleb Hammer?

  How much did you spend on it?

• 41:49Speaker 03

  I think that ticket was like one twenty.

• 41:51Caleb Hammer?

  What's the concert?

• 41:52Speaker 03

  Marina and the Diamonds, like pop music.

• 41:55Caleb Hammer?

  And when did you get it?

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Hmm, I think right before I got laid off.

• 42:01Caleb Hammer?

  It's a little more reasonable. Listen, you probably still couldn't have afforded it. But I want to be again, clear as day. I want you to go to Chicago to see Lady Gaga if you want to. But only if you do not have any bad debt because that is holding you back in life and creating risk over your head that you are now realizing because you had to move back in with family because you got laid off and you did not actually set yourself up for any type of success, whatever. And only when you can fit it into thirty percent of your income because you are at minimum contributing twenty percent for retirement. After that, I want you to do it. I want you to blow thirty percent or whatever the fuck you want. It could be anything.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  I have another concert to go to also. That was in November though. That was in Dallas, plus the hotel.

• 42:50Caleb Hammer?

  Next month.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:52Caleb Hammer?

  Don't try to bring language to it like it's a year from now. It is next month in Dallas, meaning you are spending gas, you are getting food and you're likely getting a hotel.

• 43:03Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:04Caleb Hammer?

  From grandma. You're disgusting.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  That's how I bought the ticket?

• 43:09Caleb Hammer?

  No.

• 43:11Caleb Hammer?

  To be very clear, you are one of the worst people that has sat in that seat in a long time.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  It's okay.

• 43:17Caleb Hammer?

  No. Like actually, deep down person. I've had people that are annoying me for various reasons. I have had bad debt. You're one of the worst people to sit there. You are disgusting. Manipulating your grandma for money to pay your bills and you don't pay your bills and then you go to Chicago.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  To live my life?

• 43:34Caleb Hammer?

  You. You shouldn't even be getting help right now. You shouldn't even have me go through your finances. Instead, if people weren't enjoying this episode, I would stop right now and I'd tell you to go yourself. But instead, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself, but I'm gonna at least keep going.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  And I'll put on OnlyFans.

• 43:50Caleb Hammer?

  Let's talk about phone bills because why are we still paying a hundred dollars a month? Just to check emails and scroll on TikTok longer than we should be. Helium Mobile is today's sponsor and honestly, it is flipping the entire phone industry on its head. They've got a zero plan for zero dollars. No contract, no credit card, just free cell service. Yeah, free. You bring in your own phone, your own number, and suddenly you're not getting ripped off anymore. And if you're a parent, they've even got a five dollar a month kids plan because your kid doesn't need unlimited data to text you. I forgot my lunch and the coverage is legit. You get nationwide 5G and a first of its kind network powered by regular folks across the United States

• 44:33Caleb Hammer?

  by tapping into the community built helium network instead of depending solely on the big towers. They're able to keep costs low without compromising coverage. And here's the kicker, they'll reward you with cloud points for just using your phone. You can cash those in for stuff like Amazon and Apple gift cards. So yeah, stop letting your carrier rob you blind. Download Helium Mobile today at heliummobile.com. Let's get back to the episode. It's a win-win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Time. This is a checking account that I personally use.

• 45:13Caleb Hammer?

  And you get up to a $350 bonus with a new time checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. Second, my investing app of choice these days is Weebull. And get a 2% match on all of your money that you transfer over. And finally, sign up for automated investing with Acorns. Typically, the signup bonus is only five bucks. But with my link, you get $20. Ladies and gents, you get money. I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below. And no one will watch, not even the one who forgot to cancel.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  I have my followers.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  Hey, at least the one will be paying though.

• 45:48Caleb Hammer?

  Would you buy the Dallas tickets, asshole?

• 45:52Speaker 03

  I think after I got laid off. I have to go.

• 45:55Caleb Hammer?

  You, you do not.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:59Caleb Hammer?

  What, uh, why do you have to?

• 46:01Speaker 03

  It's dumb dollar. I have to go.

• 46:02Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, that means nothing to me. Why do you have to go, though?

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Because he never comes, so I want to go see him.

• 46:08Caleb Hammer?

  Is this true, Brandon? You like DJs. Brandon's saying no, and he lives in Dallas. You don't know what you're talking about.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  It's dumb dollar.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  You are wrong. He played ACL and then he played afterwards at Emo's.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  Oh, I didn't know that one. I know ACL because I went there.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  You are wrong.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  That's why I want to see him again.

• 46:24Caleb Hammer?

  So it's again. So you're not even right. It's not that he never comes. He just did Austin City Limits.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Last year.

• 46:30Caleb Hammer?

  Austin, A C, oh, Austin.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  City Limits.

• 46:33Caleb Hammer?

  City Limits Music Festival and then went to a club afterwards.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Why they know that one?

• 46:38Caleb Hammer?

  You're a piece of [BLEEP]. You're lying.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Well, I have to go see him.

• 46:41Caleb Hammer?

  And trying to manipulate me about how this is a once in a lifetime thing when you've already done it. Shut up.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  So, I want to see him again.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  I actually had tickets to go to ACL. For next weekend.

• 47:03Caleb Hammer?

  So you're getting hotel for three days because there's no way you're driving from Houston every day.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  For, no, not ACL. I'm not going to ACL. I want to.

• 47:11Caleb Hammer?

  You, you just said you were.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  No, I went last year. I said I had tickets for next weekend. Not anymore, though.

• 47:20Caleb Hammer?

  You sold them.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:22Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Hmm, I really didn't like the lineup.

• 47:25Caleb Hammer?

  That's why, not because he was trying to be a good person. Do you realize what you are?

• 47:30Speaker 03

  A bad [BLEEP].

• 47:31Caleb Hammer?

  You-

• 47:31Speaker 03

  A bougie [BLEEP].

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Bad [BLEEP]. I need to go to concerts.

• 47:41Caleb Hammer?

  13 years to pay this off, minimum monthly payments only if you don't purchase and you're not even making your minimum monthly payments. And you're certainly not purchasing because you're over the limit by $83.29 because you don't make payments.

• 47:54Caleb Hammer?

  Because you're selfish and irresponsible and a child and immature in every way whatsoever.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 48:00Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you better, there's no disagreeing with that, it's impossible. What? Now you say you gotta spend. This makes no sense. Every time there's anything I've ever done, it's I gotta, huh?

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:12Caleb Hammer?

  Why do you gotta?

• 48:14Speaker 03

  Because I want to go out, so I have to.

• 48:15Caleb Hammer?

  So you want, now you got, you want.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  Same thing.

• 48:20Caleb Hammer?

  No, it is not. You need to pay your electricity bill. You want to go get drinks at the bar. They are not the same thing.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  So I gotta go to get drinks.

• 48:30Caleb Hammer?

  Spoiled brat, whose mommy and daddy and grandma have enabled his or they thems lifestyle, they thems entire life. And you're a freaking freak now. You're a piece of shit who's a scourge on this planet that we should honestly lock up.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  You're welcome.

• 48:50Caleb Hammer?

  Keep you away from the rest of us.

• 48:53Speaker 03

  Well.

• 48:54Caleb Hammer?

  Not a homophobic thing, I just mean he's a piece of, to be very clear. So I know some people will read that out of context. You're just a piece of shit. Anyone that takes advantage of their family like you, go to the dirt. Not death, but you.

• 49:11Caleb Hammer?

  You hold the rest of us back. You hold back the human race. You're nasty.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  No, I'm fun.

• 49:18Caleb Hammer?

  No, because this is the least, least fun 47 minutes I've currently sat through in months.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Well.

• 49:26Caleb Hammer?

  You're horrible.

• 49:29Caleb Hammer?

  And I'm making sure I reiterate that over and over again because I don't think people have told you that enough in your life. I have 29 years to catch up on for that.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  You can say it. I'll just say I'm fun.

• 49:39Caleb Hammer?

  You've dumb, if you've been listening.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  It's okay.

• 49:44Caleb Hammer?

  Right. Past due.

• 49:47Caleb Hammer?

  Total interest this year so far, almost 500 bucks at a 28.99% interest rate.

• 49:53Caleb Hammer?

  Sometimes people say, "I'm too mean."

• 49:55Speaker 03

  I just don't think-

• 49:56Caleb Hammer?

  If this isn't warranted, I don't know what is. Okay, what is this? After pay, affirm what? What am I looking at? What are you affirming while living at home with your parents and being enabled by them?

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Ah, let me see. I have a couple of Amazon orders.

• 50:12Caleb Hammer?

  Ticketmaster?

• 50:13Speaker 03

  I did, oh yeah, Ticketmaster.

• 50:15Caleb Hammer?

  Pay for it.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Well, technically, yes.

• 50:17Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Well, because the one-

• 50:19Caleb Hammer?

  That one what?

• 50:19Speaker 03

  That one's for Tuesday. So, it's not just me myself going. It's five other people. But I put most of the payment down. So my payment's only $5.

• 50:30Caleb Hammer?

  What? You, huh?

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Splitting that payment between all of us, I-

• 50:35Caleb Hammer?

  You mean like a month or whatever?

• 50:37Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 50:38Caleb Hammer?

  So they give you money to make the payment?

• 50:40Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:41Caleb Hammer?

  Let's hope they don't f*** that up.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 50:43Caleb Hammer?

  Pull up your affirm.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Let me see.

• 50:46Caleb Hammer?

  You owe a total of $2,029.91.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  What are you doing? Okay, I have it up.

• 50:56Speaker 00

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• 51:22Speaker 03

  Do you want to see it?

• 51:29Speaker 03

  Amazon, I don't remember what I ordered from there. Oh wait, it went blank. Let me see.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 51:37Caleb Hammer?

  So 29, 24. It's a $24.36 payment a month. You're losing interest like crazy. I know for a fact with a payment that low, you're at about 36% interest.

• 51:54Caleb Hammer?

  Amazon.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Not all the orders are mine, though.

• 51:56Caleb Hammer?

  It's always convenient.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  But I can tell you which ones they are.

• 51:59Caleb Hammer?

  Wired earbuds. They look like Apple ones, they're not.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was my phone. I thought they were.

• 52:05Caleb Hammer?

  You really are?

• 52:07Speaker 03

  Well, my bad. I just clicked on the top one.

• 52:09Caleb Hammer?

  Oh.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  Usually supposed to be.

• 52:11Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, he's. Oh, okay. Okay. We should keep you at home.

• 52:19Speaker 03

  No, I should be out.

• 52:20Caleb Hammer?

  You shouldn't move out.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  I think I deserve it.

• 52:23Caleb Hammer?

  You got shit to rake the soil.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  I guess none, most of them are not mines.

• 52:29Caleb Hammer?

  Nut milk bag.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  That one is myself.

• 52:31Caleb Hammer?

  Juice bottle.

• 52:34Caleb Hammer?

  Omega three fatty acids. Cruise essential flat plug. You're not going on a cruise, are you asshole?

• 52:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:40Caleb Hammer?

  Good.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  It's an outlet, not a cruise.

• 52:42Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, the brain is cruise essentials. Field pump mounting plate. Marshall cat water fountain. Yeah, you definitely didn't have water for them ever before, right? Asshole, you don't need to get that right now. Black satin fabric by the yard. Uh, some screw, eye pin screws. Hundred piece nursery growing bags. We know that's you and you're certainly not getting a return on investment. Five pack ten gallon thickened grow bags. Right, I'm glad this guy's allowed to have all these hobbies while not working and taking from his grandma to go to Chicago for a Lady Gaga concert. What a dick. More nursery bullshit. Organic dog shampoo.

• 53:28Caleb Hammer?

  That is a more budget friendly way than going to the groomer, so I can appreciate that to a certain point. Obviously, make sure you take care of their, like, when they get all matted up or whatever it's called. Calendar. Yeah, none of us have calendars on our phones. Privacy iPhone sticker. Endless, endless cat litter.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  For all the cats.

• 53:48Caleb Hammer?

  Ordinary. Got lots of the ordinary skincare. Lots of the ordinary skincare. Nursing oil to foam cleanser. It's not working, buddy. It's not working. And two, there's no point anyway. You're scrunching your forehead so much, you're gonna look like you're eighty at thirty.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  It's okay. That's what Botox is for.

• 54:05Caleb Hammer?

  Which you have not done in a prevent preventative matter.

• 54:08Speaker 03

  It's okay. I can still go get in.

• 54:10Caleb Hammer?

  For everything. Okay, great, wonderful. You got a daily planner. Again, definitely don't have no apps on our iPhone. Endless bags of cat litter, lots of plant stuff. I got a fan. I mean, it's just like, you don't need to be doing this hobby right now. You don't, let's get your subscriptions while we're here. You don't need to be doing these hobbies right now when you're sitting there manipulating your family. It is disgusting. You should be spending all your time curating your resumes for the specific jobs that you are trying to do, but you're not even doing for your bartending job.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  I thought it was just one resume and that's it. I mean, it's on there that I did the bartending classes.

• 54:51Caleb Hammer?

  Apple Music, iCloud Plus, had Audible, had Instagram a couple of times, multiple different. Oh, he's paying for a few Instagrams. He also, you know what he's paying for? Unfollow tracker. He's following who's unfollowing him.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:04Caleb Hammer?

  What are you, a middle schooler?

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Well, I gotta unfollow if you're not gonna follow me.

• 55:09Caleb Hammer?

  Such a, yeah, I told you he was a petty, sassy gay. I told you. I know this. And then FaceShip, uh, HiFace, Face Shape Finder.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  I think that was an editing app.

• 55:22Caleb Hammer?

  I know you need it.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  I think, not for that.

• 55:25Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, Colton's calling you a plant gay. That's true. I forgot, I forgot that term.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:29Caleb Hammer?

  I forgot that term. You are a plant gay. You can't afford to be a plant gay right now, though. You can't. It's not the time. You should be spending all your plant gay time on gay applying to jobs.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  I mean, I applied to jobs.

• 55:43Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, not in the way that is obviously working now. Five a week's a joke. You're a joke. Oh, oh, what a disgusting animal. What a disgusting animal.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm still applying, though.

• 55:55Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the fuck up. Not in any kind of way.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  So it's not like I'm applying.

• 55:59Caleb Hammer?

  Minimum way to probably keep unemployment for a while. Any other kind of benefits you're getting. You spent over a thousand hours on plant seeds.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  Yes. What? It's a variegated one.

• 56:11Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 56:12Speaker 03

  You wanna see? I have a picture of it.

• 56:13Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the f- no. Look. Never. Not once will I ever. Look. Care, credit, what happened with this? This is-

• 56:20Speaker 03

  That's for the animals.

• 56:22Caleb Hammer?

  Because you're an irresponsible person that got animals when you couldn't afford to deal with them. Yes, who would have thought?

• 56:27Speaker 03

  But I'm taking care of them.

• 56:28Caleb Hammer?

  Well, that's for their shots. And then you can't, asshole.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  No, that's not true.

• 56:32Caleb Hammer?

  $1,324.88. You can do that one more time, then it's maxed out. And then if they have an emergency, how the f- you're gonna cover it? Good luck. Good luck to them. Bad owner.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 56:43Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  They got their vaccines and everything.

• 56:45Caleb Hammer?

  Minimum payment, $44. You did the bare minimums. You're not able to take care of an emergency. You're not able to take care- And there will be. They're animals. They go crazy, especially if a lot of them are outside all the time. They will eat something or get injured by something like you.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  Well, then we'll ask grandma to borrow money again.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  Then they're taken care of.

• 57:10Caleb Hammer?

  Honestly.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  I mean, they're not being healthy right now.

• 57:17Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the f- up. I'm talking.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  That's all that matters.

• 57:19Caleb Hammer?

  I'm talking. Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking. I have to weigh in.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Well.

• 57:24Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know how you are comfortable living the life you do, living in your own skin, being this disgusting creature that you are.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  That I am.

• 57:36Caleb Hammer?

  No.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:38Caleb Hammer?

  Objectively, no. No one that talks about their grandma like that has any kind of good vibe. You are a vibe that is a plague to anyone around you. You and your other person that you pay, your vibe queen, whatever you call her.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  Mystic.

• 57:53Caleb Hammer?

  Bring each other down.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:56Caleb Hammer?

  Yes. Look where you both are. You're both failures. You do nothing. And you're losers. And you manipulate people to get what you want and live the life you want.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  Exactly. But fun.

• 58:09Caleb Hammer?

  I'm living my life.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  At the expense of others.

• 58:14Caleb Hammer?

  Yes.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  I mean, if I want to do it, I have to do it. There's a concert I want to go to. I have to go to it. Even if I have to figure out-

• 58:26Caleb Hammer?

  What if you want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you?

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Then I won't do it.

• 58:29Caleb Hammer?

  So where do you draw the line? You're okay with using other people's money when they don't necessarily want to do it for the things that you want to do it for? Because you're okay with doing a lot of things that other people don't want to do.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Then I'm not gonna draw the line either.

• 58:40Caleb Hammer?

  No, your grandma thinks she's giving you the money to pay the bills. That is what you said earlier.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, to pay the dog food, cat food.

• 58:47Caleb Hammer?

  Exactly. So where do you draw the line?

• 58:49Speaker 03

  I mean, they have food.

• 58:51Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my gosh, he's, oh, you're impossible. You might be the biggest- Where is he on the line of being the biggest piece of shit on financial audit?

• 59:01Speaker 03

  The farthest.

• 59:02Caleb Hammer?

  Are you proud of that? Are you proud of being a horrible, horrendous person?

• 59:06Speaker 03

  I'm not, though.

• 59:07Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, you are. You, can you give me anything that suggests that you're not?

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Like I said, I mean, I help out.

• 59:13Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, driving her to the doctor here and there. Yeah, sure, great. You did a minimum basic responsibility of a grandson. Well done.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Take care of her animals when she needs it. Once in a while, though.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  I think I'm a good person, though.

• 59:28Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my- Yeah, you know what a good person doesn't do? When you're maxed out on your affirm, you have affirmed via your brother's account.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:36Caleb Hammer?

  And then you're late paying him to make the payments.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  And then I care credit.

• 59:39Caleb Hammer?

  Him over.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  No.

• 59:41Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, yes, if it's on his credit, his affirm, and you're not paying him in time, you are him over. You cannot tell me no from that. That is as-

• 59:51Speaker 03

  Not really.

• 59:52Caleb Hammer?

  That is as black and white as possible. If you do not give him the payment in time, you are objectively him over. How can you tell me no?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  If I don't make the payment, then he will. So, I mean, the payment's still being made.

• 1:00:03Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, dude, you're a asshole!

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  It's still being made.

• 1:00:10Caleb Hammer?

  I can't reason with you!

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Again, the payment's being made.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  So it's not messing him up?

• 1:00:21Caleb Hammer?

  Believe it or not, from these conversations, ladies and gentlemen, as surprising as you guys may find it, my blood pressure often does not rise during these because people annoy me. The deaths are crazy, but I've gotten used to them. I see it. It's normal and it brings a little bit of outrage, sure, but this, I feel my blood pressure rising more than I have felt in any episode in a very long time because I am enraged at you because you are just, you're the worst.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  You should get it checked out then.

• 1:00:50Caleb Hammer?

  It is rising at this moment. It is not high on average. Do you know how blood pressure works?

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:00:56Caleb Hammer?

  You're, you are a-

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  But living my life?

• 1:01:00Caleb Hammer?

  Only because of others.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:04Caleb Hammer?

  You will never be able to do anything on your own. You're a failure.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Hmm, no.

• 1:01:08Caleb Hammer?

  Please tell me.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  I'll figure it out.

• 1:01:11Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, that's the evidence we have to suggest we're not a failure. I'll figure it out.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  It's okay. I'll go to my mystic and have my cards ready again.

• 1:01:19Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, bring each other down. Bringing each other down even further.

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  She'll point me to the right-

• 1:01:23Caleb Hammer?

  I'm calling your mystic in the post show.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  That's fine. She can read your cards.

• 1:01:28Caleb Hammer?

  JL Recovery Collections?

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  I believe so.

• 1:01:32Caleb Hammer?

  Your recovery is collections.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:33Caleb Hammer?

  What is this for? $535.65.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  That's an old credit card. I think that was my first credit card ever.

• 1:01:42Caleb Hammer?

  And why didn't you pay it?

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  I maxed it out. And I think I had got a new card-

• 1:01:46Caleb Hammer?

  Why didn't you pay it?

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  I think it was on auto pay, but-

• 1:01:49Caleb Hammer?

  So why didn't you pay it? I'll keep asking that.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  You don't let me explain.

• 1:01:54Caleb Hammer?

  Please.

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  I lost the card and I didn't change it or update it, so it just-

• 1:01:58Caleb Hammer?

  Doesn't matter. You think, guys, if I don't have my physical card on me, I actually can't make a payment in the app or online. What?

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Well, this is how, it didn't have an app.

• 1:02:06Caleb Hammer?

  Bullshit.

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  It was just online.

• 1:02:07Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, go online. Again, you have a physical card, it does nothing.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  I just forgot to change it.

• 1:02:13Caleb Hammer?

  No, you just have to make the payment. It's not about changing it, it's the payment.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  Exact- well, I had an auto pay with my old card. Then when I lost that one, I didn't go back and update it. So I just forgot about the-

• 1:02:27Caleb Hammer?

  You're not a credit card person? I'll maybe allow you to use the Fiz card debit card that builds credit. A lot of people have used that to build credit in the audience. With you, you're a piece of shit almost I want to give you. I don't, I don't know if I want to give you. You might be the first guest I turned down the resources for that we provide for free because you're a

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  That's why I came to you to help me.

• 1:02:47Caleb Hammer?

  No. I don't believe it for a second. Maybe you had that in the bottom of your heart, but you're digging a hole. You're putting your pin in the ground and you're just holding to it.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:03:01Caleb Hammer?

  No. You just did right there.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:03:07Caleb Hammer?

  Quicksilver, what's going on?

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  That one was my second credit card I opened.

• 1:03:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, my second one.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  That one, I think is maxed out because I would go out.

• 1:03:22Caleb Hammer?

  It's over maxed out.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, then, yeah.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  I mean, I would go out, get drinks, food, buy things that's online.

• 1:03:43Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, how much did you spend on groceries last month versus how much did you spend going out to eat?

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  Groceries.

• 1:03:49Caleb Hammer?

  Zero dollars came in.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Maybe like 60 bucks.

• 1:03:52Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, and going out to eat?

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Maybe like 400.

• 1:03:58Caleb Hammer?

  Why is that considered acceptable at all for someone unemployed abusing their family?

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  Because I mean, I get tired of eating at home. I want to go out and eat at a restaurant.

• 1:04:06Caleb Hammer?

  Why do you think your want supersedes you just being an adult? Why do you think that? Where is that stemming from in your life?

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  Because you have to live life.

• 1:04:14Caleb Hammer?

  Therapy.

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  No, that's what I have my mystic for.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  It's okay, she can reach your cards on the potion.

• 1:04:23Caleb Hammer?

  171 groceries, 514 going out to eat. 514, not a crazy number compared to this show. Zero dollars of income, laid off abusing his family, crazy number.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  It was good food, though.

• 1:04:38Caleb Hammer?

  Doubt it.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  It was nice restaurants.

• 1:04:45Caleb Hammer?

  Was it? Look at you, your face is drooping.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  It was good food.

• 1:04:49Caleb Hammer?

  At least my fatness likes to stay nice and firm.

• 1:04:54Caleb Hammer?

  Yours is just like hanging. You're starting to, he's turning into the-

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  I still look good though.

• 1:04:59Caleb Hammer?

  He's turning into the- What was that? It was like an anime character who was always like-

• 1:05:05Caleb Hammer?

  And like he just sagged. I think it was a dog.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  I'm a fan. Who watches anime?

• 1:05:14Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Who watches anime?

• 1:05:16Caleb Hammer?

  Animated character. Who watches anime? A lot of the world. I doubt, I'm not even defending it, but like everyone.

• 1:05:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:05:23Caleb Hammer?

  No, okay. Good rebuttal.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  I don't know what that is.

• 1:05:29Caleb Hammer?

  You don't know what the rebuttal is?

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:05:35Caleb Hammer?

  Alright, fuck it. I'm advocating for opening a camp. That we put people like him in.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  And it'll be fun.

• 1:05:43Caleb Hammer?

  How do we determine them? How do we determine what people like you are? I don't know yet, but we need to keep you away from this world.

• 1:05:51Speaker 03

  But it'll be a fun camp though.

• 1:05:52Caleb Hammer?

  This is, and I don't actually mean that to be clear, but it's just like-

• 1:05:58Caleb Hammer?

  It's, I don't know, man. There's something wrong with you. You don't even know what the word rebuttal means. Like, I don't even know how to deal with that. Like, I'm kind of retarded, I'll be honest.

• 1:06:07Speaker 05

  I'm gonna be honest with you.

• 1:06:10Speaker 05

  I'm kind of retarded.

• 1:06:11Caleb Hammer?

  Like, I'm dumb in a lot of things. But, I just, I'm concerned at your lack of everything. His face is doing this. This is what his face is doing. He looks like this.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  Oh my god. No, I do not.

• 1:06:25Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, he does.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  I do not look like that. Again, like I said, I can just go get Botox.

• 1:06:39Caleb Hammer?

  That's more preventative than it is post-care.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  I mean-

• 1:06:42Caleb Hammer?

  And you're not, and you can't afford it, by the way. Botox is not-

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  I mean, I'll find somebody to-

• 1:06:46Caleb Hammer?

  You're getting back alley Botox.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  No, not like that. So I'll find somebody to pay for it.

• 1:06:55Caleb Hammer?

  You're horrendous. Listen, you actually had transactions then interest hit and it pushed you over the credit limit on this quicksilver card. So you had $51.01 of purchases. Then $12.20 of interest. McDonald's, McDonald's, H and M.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:12Caleb Hammer?

  There's the good.

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  Love H and M. Oh, well. Am I having quick food? Because I rarely go to McDonald's. Don't even look at me like that.

• 1:07:23Caleb Hammer?

  Well, there it is, you asshole. Also had a late fee this year so far.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  I got that one waived, though. I did call them and get it waived.

• 1:07:31Caleb Hammer?

  You didn't.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  For this year, yes.

• 1:07:34Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's there. That might be a different card, you dick.

• 1:07:39Speaker 03

  Well, one of them was waived.

• 1:07:40Caleb Hammer?

  Great.

• 1:07:42Caleb Hammer?

  This wasn't.

• 1:07:43Speaker 03

  Well, I can give them a call.

• 1:07:46Caleb Hammer?

  No, I highly doubted it because it's not even this month. This is old. It's been this year so far.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  I'll still give them a call.

• 1:07:53Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you can give them a call.

• 1:07:55Speaker 03

  Then it'll be under.

• 1:07:56Caleb Hammer?

  Good luck. You asked for it, and I'm delivering a way to connect the dots to see how the stuff we talk about applies to you, your money, your debt, and your goals.

• 1:08:11Caleb Hammer?

  The wait is over because Master Your Money, my all-in-one personal finance platform, is finally live. Inside, you'll get access to all of my courses, budgeting templates, calculators, a community of like-minded budgeters, exclusive content, weekly tips, and free access to the Dollar Wise Premium Budgeting App. Learn everything from budgeting to investing, tune in weekly for Behind the Budget, a Master Your Money exclusive, and join members' monthly challenges to celebrate your wins. And since it's Black Friday, I'm giving you access to our members' exclusive audits, financial audit post-shows, and more insider content in our newly upgraded Hammer Elite 3.0 membership. I've wrapped it all into what I'm calling the Ultimate Hammer Bundle.

• 1:08:56Caleb Hammer?

  Sign up for Master Your Money today and get lifetime pricing at just $39.99 a month, over $100 in annual. savings and access to the dollar wise budgeting app premium version one month of hammer elite 3.0 for free plus a free budget friendly cookbook that you can download this insane offer ends after black friday so if you want to master your money click below and get started today guys just real quick don't forget to take your hammer financial score at caleb hammer calm see where you stand where you gotta do better where you're doing shit it just takes a few minutes and it is free figure out where you stand in the world of money caleb hammer calm uh yeah give them a call guy and do whatever you think that is ask him to weigh

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  the fee is that h and m this yeah actually mm-hmm and the jeans it is affordable clothing but I

• 1:09:46Caleb Hammer?

  highly doubt you don't have clothing I highly doubt you don't have clothing ah yeah I do rather

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  h and m a lot I do buy gym shark I love gym shark what what is it like workout clothes

• 1:10:02Caleb Hammer?

  okay so that you can put them in the closet no I use them

• 1:10:10Speaker 03

  I go work out

• 1:10:14Caleb Hammer?

  okay

• 1:10:17Caleb Hammer?

  maybe 28.99% interest rate what is this um this is overdue you what is overdue

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  oh that's cash app

• 1:10:28Caleb Hammer?

  what about it don't die what about it cash app I borrowed that money I think to buy plant stuff or plants in general is it is it the advanced pay type thing yeah listen yeah you take I talk about this and I will talk about this just like any credit cards just like consolidation just like bankruptcy even the pay advance stuff is not necessarily a bad tool you can use it to your advantage but if you're not a credit card person you're not a pay advance person you cannot use these tools and you obviously cannot I can you cannot Colton can you cannot Brandon and Lindsay can you can it was getting paid this audience likely can you

• 1:11:10Caleb Hammer?

  cannot so it doesn't matter why use a tool that is obviously You.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  It was getting paid.

• 1:11:16Caleb Hammer?

  It's not paid though, so that's all that matters.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Was.

• 1:11:20Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, why, why do I care about was? Why do I care about was? Why is was what matters at all?

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  Cause there was some payments made.

• 1:11:27Caleb Hammer?

  Why does was matter? It is not being paid now. That now is what matters. Now in the future, I don't give a about the past.

• 1:11:35Speaker 03

  Well, it's overdue now.

• 1:11:36Caleb Hammer?

  That's what I'm saying, you dumb.

• 1:11:38Speaker 03

  Well, it'll just sit there. It's okay.

• 1:11:41Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, Colton. Colton, never again, please.

• 1:11:47Caleb Hammer?

  That's not a joke. You're horrible. You say you come here to get help? I don't see it. You're not even willing to acknowledge that this is bad.

• 1:11:58Speaker 03

  The money was used already. I can't pay it back.

• 1:12:00Caleb Hammer?

  How does that make it? What? How are you using that as a justification? How? Explain to me, explain to me how that justifies it in detail, in detail. I really want to understand your logic. Please, please, please.

• 1:12:15Speaker 03

  It'll get paid eventually.

• 1:12:17Caleb Hammer?

  That's not the logic. That's not the logic. You said it's okay because you already spent the money. Explain how that justifies it.

• 1:12:24Speaker 03

  Well, the money's gone.

• 1:12:25Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, you can't answer questions. You can't answer questions to save your life. You can't even define your own worldview of moronic.

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  It'll get paid eventually.

• 1:12:39Speaker 03

  Some point, someday.

• 1:12:40Caleb Hammer?

  So you have four catchphrases, huh?

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:13:14Caleb Hammer?

  Is there like?

• 1:13:16Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, you just have to pay that back on a lump sum. There's not like a minimum payment or anything. It's just like you have to pay that back.

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that one does acquire the interest. Weekly, I think.

• 1:13:29Caleb Hammer?

  Did you type that Colton? Colton typed.

• 1:13:34Caleb Hammer?

  Who is a very gay man, by the way, and we love that. We love that. But he typed. That he is getting closer to understanding homophobia. Via this episode.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  But yeah, that's my cash app.

• 1:13:51Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, is it? Is it asshole? Shut the fuck up.

• 1:13:57Caleb Hammer?

  Capital one, just the regular capital one. What's going on with this? Oh, it's over maxed out. Who would have thought?

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 1:14:06Speaker 03

  I have three cards with them.

• 1:14:07Caleb Hammer?

  Shut up. We already did venture. We already did Quicksilver.

• 1:14:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:15Speaker 03

  I just use whatever's available.

• 1:14:16Caleb Hammer?

  No shit. No shit. And now nothing is.

• 1:14:21Caleb Hammer?

  It's another one of your catchphrases. Two oh two. And 29 cents with a minimum payment of $25.

• 1:14:31Speaker 03

  No late fees on that one, though.

• 1:14:33Caleb Hammer?

  We'll see. $82 of purchases. And $5.36 of interest now then because of the purchasing, putting it above the limit. Every card we've looked at so far is above the limit. It's horrible.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  I just use it.

• 1:14:51Speaker 03

  I'll pay the minimum.

• 1:14:51Caleb Hammer?

  Insightful, insightful, ladies and gentlemen. He's.

• 1:14:56Caleb Hammer?

  Put him on. A public speaking tour right now. Uh, there's been two late fees this year so far. So to your no late fees, I say fuck you.

• 1:15:05Speaker 03

  Well, that's probably the one I got. I called to get away.

• 1:15:07Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's not here.

• 1:15:08Speaker 03

  One of them I called to get away.

• 1:15:10Caleb Hammer?

  It is here. If you got one way, that mean you've got three and two are posted. Which is probably very possible, given your situation and lack of maturity. You probably didn't even know the other two happened.

• 1:15:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, no.

• 1:15:25Caleb Hammer?

  Amazon, vending machine.

• 1:15:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15:29Caleb Hammer?

  Gas, that's okay, but I wouldn't put it on a credit card that I can't pay off that is accruing interest and pushing it above a limit, fuck you. And then I think you got some bullshit potentially at Walmart, I don't know. No one really goes and gets nineteen dollars a grocery, certainly not someone who doesn't cook.

• 1:15:42Speaker 03

  I can cook.

• 1:15:42Caleb Hammer?

  But you don't. I know you probably can. You're a human that exists with hands.

• 1:15:47Speaker 03

  I can cook. I just, I'd rather not. I'd rather not.

• 1:15:50Caleb Hammer?

  Colton, he's a moron.

• 1:15:51Speaker 03

  I'd rather just go out.

• 1:15:52Caleb Hammer?

  He's like, he's literally an idiot. I have not, I don't know if I've met a dumber person created on this planet. Colton, why is he here?

• 1:16:04Caleb Hammer?

  How long did your conversations take?

• 1:16:08Caleb Hammer?

  He had two onboarding phone calls. That means you're special. Not in the good way.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  No, you didn't clarify.

• 1:16:16Caleb Hammer?

  I just did.

• 1:16:17Speaker 03

  Before.

• 1:16:18Caleb Hammer?

  What, what the?

• 1:16:20Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus.

• 1:16:45Caleb Hammer?

  Half a second gap in between?

• 1:16:46Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:48Caleb Hammer?

  And interest as well. Your late fees above the limits, purchasing on bullshit, nothing's good. The only purchase that wasn't a hundred percent bullshit that we've looked at so far was gas, but even that shouldn't be on a credit card like this anyway.

• 1:17:01Speaker 03

  I used to drive an hour and a half to work.

• 1:17:03Caleb Hammer?

  So that's what I always do. This is when you are unemployed asshole.

• 1:17:09Caleb Hammer?

  Shut up.

• 1:17:12Caleb Hammer?

  It's at a thirty-one percent interest rate. Congratulations, really funding my stock in Capital One.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  You're welcome.

• 1:17:20Caleb Hammer?

  What is this?

• 1:17:23Speaker 03

  Klarna.

• 1:17:24Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. I'm a burn to Klarna.

• 1:17:26Speaker 03

  That one was an Amazon.

• 1:17:28Caleb Hammer?

  Failed payment, failed payment. Five days late, five days late.

• 1:17:34Speaker 03

  That was after I got laid off. That was Amazon.

• 1:17:37Caleb Hammer?

  After, what else did he do when he was after laid off? Well, went to purchase a DJ that he never sees because he never comes down, came down last year and he saw him. And also went and spent thirteen hundred dollars in Chicago. Die, die. Don't die, actually. I don't want you to die, but just.

• 1:17:56Caleb Hammer?

  Stuff exists in front of me.

• 1:17:59Speaker 03

  But yeah.

• 1:18:00Caleb Hammer?

  Ah, you're just horrible.

• 1:18:01Speaker 03

  Amazon and that was vitamins for my dog. You see, I told you he's taking care of.

• 1:18:05Caleb Hammer?

  Doubt it, though. I just don't believe you. I saw your Amazon was all pup patch or plant.

• 1:18:10Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, yeah, I have to sell plants.

• 1:18:13Caleb Hammer?

  You're not selling. One forty one point nine. I'll put you on here. Minute to boom arrow. No, you're late constantly. You probably just owe that and then you're done, dick.

• 1:18:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:18:25Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:18:32Speaker 03

  Oh, that's my chase.

• 1:18:35Speaker 03

  That was actually for the tickets I purchased to go to Vegas for a show.

• 1:18:40Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck? Why? When was Vegas?

• 1:18:45Speaker 03

  I think I was supposed to go in March. But I ended up returning those tickets.

• 1:18:50Caleb Hammer?

  But they're not paying?

• 1:18:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, no.

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  I use the money for other stuff.

• 1:18:57Speaker 03

  I think it was Vegas and then I don't remember what the other one is.

• 1:19:02Speaker 03

  Oh, Craftland. That was this place in Houston that I went to.

• 1:19:11Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh.

• 1:19:11Speaker 03

  And I did the pay in four and I didn't make the payments on that either.

• 1:19:15Caleb Hammer?

  No, you certainly did not.

• 1:19:18Speaker 03

  I think that's like from a year ago.

• 1:19:20Caleb Hammer?

  Craftland in Vegas.

• 1:19:21Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 1:19:22Caleb Hammer?

  Pay in four.

• 1:19:24Speaker 03

  Didn't go to the festival.

• 1:19:25Caleb Hammer?

  Paid in none.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  I paid half for both.

• 1:19:28Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, you're a piece of shit.

• 1:19:30Speaker 03

  So they got something back.

• 1:19:31Caleb Hammer?

  Shut up. Shut the fuck up.

• 1:19:36Speaker 03

  Something was paid.

• 1:19:44Caleb Hammer?

  Half of Vegas was paid, only one of four from Craftland. So you can't even genuinely, you can't even accurately speak on what's happening.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  Something was paid, though.

• 1:19:57Speaker 03

  I think that was like last year, though.

• 1:20:02Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so this Chase paying for,

• 1:20:07Caleb Hammer?

  you owe $428.16 minimum monthly. You only have to do it a couple times, dick.

• 1:20:17Speaker 03

  That was $171, I owe.

• 1:20:19Caleb Hammer?

  No, do math.

• 1:20:21Speaker 03

  I think I did do my math.

• 1:20:23Caleb Hammer?

  No, buddy, you don't know what numbers are. $171.58 is your minimum monthly. That's your minimum!

• 1:20:31Speaker 03

  No, that's total due.

• 1:20:32Caleb Hammer?

  No, that's your total due in a minimum way.

• 1:20:37Caleb Hammer?

  Buddy, I see it right here.

• 1:20:42Caleb Hammer?

  Fuck off.

• 1:20:43Speaker 03

  They'll eventually get paid.

• 1:20:45Caleb Hammer?

  Fuck, you don't know anything. Shut up! I want to hear you. What's this?

• 1:20:51Speaker 03

  That was a personal loan I took out.

• 1:20:52Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, good. For what?

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  That was back in 2021. I did it to do-

• 1:21:00Caleb Hammer?

  What's your minimum monthly?

• 1:21:02Speaker 03

  I don't know, that one's in collections. That one I had taken out to go do a Lipo 360 at the time.

• 1:21:08Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  Lipo 360.

• 1:21:11Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:21:11Speaker 03

  I gone to Mexico to get Lipo.

• 1:21:15Caleb Hammer?

  Did it work?

• 1:21:16Speaker 03

  Hmm, yes and no.

• 1:21:20Caleb Hammer?

  Instead of just dealing with your-

• 1:21:22Speaker 03

  I mean, it's-

• 1:21:23Caleb Hammer?

  You didn't get it on your face, though.

• 1:21:25Speaker 03

  No, I just got it here. My stomach area. 2021.

• 1:21:32Speaker 03

  I went to Mexico for it.

• 1:21:33Caleb Hammer?

  How much did they take?

• 1:21:34Speaker 03

  Four liters? Four or five, I think he said.

• 1:21:39Caleb Hammer?

  How many pounds is that?

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  I don't know. It was in Mexico. So the metrics were different.

• 1:21:44Caleb Hammer?

  Yes.

• 1:21:46Speaker 03

  I don't know the metrics over there, but yeah, it was.

• 1:21:51Speaker 03

  But yeah, I then.

• 1:21:52Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, May twenty twenty one. Was it worth it? Cause now it's in collections.

• 1:21:56Speaker 03

  I mean, it was nice when I did it. Surgery kinda went. I woke up during the surgery. I don't think I was supposed to though.

• 1:22:06Caleb Hammer?

  I consciously woke up?

• 1:22:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Caleb Hammer?

  Did they put you back to sleep?

• 1:22:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, right away.

• 1:22:11Caleb Hammer?

  Well, that's good. How long were you awake?

• 1:22:13Speaker 03

  Like five minutes.

• 1:22:14Caleb Hammer?

  And you saw them inside of you?

• 1:22:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I felt the rod going in and out.

• 1:22:17Caleb Hammer?

  That's not good.

• 1:22:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. I'd do it again, though. Maybe not in Mexico, but I'd go somewhere else to do it again.

• 1:22:24Caleb Hammer?

  Were you born here?

• 1:22:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:26Caleb Hammer?

  We can't send him back.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  I mean, I go back.

• 1:22:29Caleb Hammer?

  Permanently?

• 1:22:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think it's better than the US, so.

• 1:22:33Caleb Hammer?

  Good. Totally, I totally agree.

• 1:22:35Speaker 03

  That's okay. I'll stay here because of you.

• 1:22:37Caleb Hammer?

  You.

• 1:22:39Speaker 03

  You know what? I'll come and move to Austin next to you.

• 1:22:41Caleb Hammer?

  It's okay, we're moving away.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  It's okay, I'll just follow you.

• 1:22:45Caleb Hammer?

  You can't afford where we're going.

• 1:22:47Speaker 03

  That's why I said we're twin flames.

• 1:22:56Caleb Hammer?

  What's this?

• 1:22:57Speaker 03

  Another little loan.

• 1:23:00Caleb Hammer?

  For?

• 1:23:01Speaker 03

  I think that one I took off to pay rent once.

• 1:23:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:06Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  I think it was.

• 1:23:10Caleb Hammer?

  Three hundred and seventy five.

• 1:23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:12Caleb Hammer?

  It was a two payment thing, split in two.

• 1:23:15Speaker 03

  It was four payments. I just missed two.

• 1:23:18Caleb Hammer?

  What is wrong with you? Why are you never able to make any payments on anything?

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  Hmm, cause I like to spend.

• 1:23:26Speaker 03

  I like to go and spend.

• 1:23:27Caleb Hammer?

  Christmas gifts, it wasn't for rent.

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  There it goes. That's what it was.

• 1:23:30Caleb Hammer?

  Do you not even know your own shit?

• 1:23:32Speaker 03

  Hmm, I just take it out and I use it.

• 1:23:36Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, oh my goodness. There's no words to describe you that are insulting enough.

• 1:23:40Speaker 03

  They at least got half the payment, so some of it was paid.

• 1:23:47Speaker 03

  But yeah.

• 1:23:47Caleb Hammer?

  Is it in collections or do you owe it?

• 1:23:49Speaker 03

  No, I still owe it. I don't think they go to collections.

• 1:23:53Caleb Hammer?

  Anything can go to collections, pretty much.

• 1:23:56Speaker 03

  Well, that one's been like a year.

• 1:23:59Caleb Hammer?

  It's probably in their internal collections. You owe one seventy five. Do upfront, one seventy five.

• 1:24:10Caleb Hammer?

  Put that as your minimum, but it pays it off.

• 1:24:16Caleb Hammer?

  This is, you just wrote everything we've already seen, so.

• 1:24:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:19Caleb Hammer?

  Let's see it. Okay. Money owed to grandma? Yeah.

• 1:24:23Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24:23Caleb Hammer?

  Good. Is she taking a tally? Cause she should.

• 1:24:25Speaker 03

  I take the tally on that one. She just gives me money, but you know, I kinda still write it down.

• 1:24:30Caleb Hammer?

  What have you tallied it to?

• 1:24:32Speaker 03

  Well, I think 21, 23,000 I owe her.

• 1:24:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. So whenever I would have things, like say my car needed tires, she would pay for it. Or like my trips, you see, she would give me money for the trips. Hmm, let's see what else. Um.

• 1:24:55Speaker 03

  Bills, some bills, when I would be late, I would ask her for it.

• 1:25:02Speaker 03

  But yeah, that's kinda how I write that out.

• 1:25:06Caleb Hammer?

  23,000 to your grandmother. How old is she?

• 1:25:11Speaker 03

  She was 52. Let me see.

• 1:25:17Caleb Hammer?

  That's incredibly young. Are you sure? You're almost 30.

• 1:25:19Speaker 03

  73. No, she was born 52.

• 1:25:22Caleb Hammer?

  Oh. You're taking this from a 73 year old woman?

• 1:25:26Speaker 03

  I mean, she has money.

• 1:25:28Caleb Hammer?

  For her, for her retirement and survival and medical and whatnot that pops up. Life, asshole. And her having money doesn't mean it's gonna enable you regardless. 23,000, I'm sure there's no, there's no minimum payment on this.

• 1:25:45Speaker 03

  I mean, I got it from her. She liked to spend. I like to spend.

• 1:25:53Caleb Hammer?

  Dad? I see money to dad?

• 1:25:55Speaker 03

  That's 2K. That was for the accounting assistant classes.

• 1:25:59Caleb Hammer?

  What does your dad think of you?

• 1:26:01Speaker 03

  Um, the best.

• 1:26:04Speaker 03

  His favorite child.

• 1:26:05Caleb Hammer?

  There's no way. There's not a chance in this world.

• 1:26:08Speaker 03

  Like I say, I do stuff for them.

• 1:26:10Caleb Hammer?

  There's not a chance in this world you're the favorite kid. How many brothers and siblings?

• 1:26:14Speaker 03

  I have five brothers.

• 1:26:16Caleb Hammer?

  No way you're the favorite. That's just mathematically impossible.

• 1:26:19Speaker 03

  Four brothers.

• 1:26:20Caleb Hammer?

  It's not possible.

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  Yes, and one sister.

• 1:26:21Caleb Hammer?

  No, you are not the favorite. I refuse to believe in any world unless they are literal heroin addicts.

• 1:26:26Speaker 03

  I can bet you I'm the favorite child. Again, I'm the fun child.

• 1:26:30Caleb Hammer?

  You're the taker.

• 1:26:32Speaker 03

  But the fun child.

• 1:26:33Caleb Hammer?

  No. Money owed a friend for what?

• 1:26:39Caleb Hammer?

  And how much?

• 1:26:40Speaker 03

  Colorado. I think it's one.

• 1:26:41Caleb Hammer?

  Colorado?

• 1:26:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yes. I go to Colorado once a year also. That's one of them for grandma. I go to Colorado once a year and she'll give me money to go.

• 1:26:50Caleb Hammer?

  How much do you owe?

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  Oh, her? I think it's like one eleven or one ten. It was for gas, the portion of the gas.

• 1:26:58Caleb Hammer?

  Hundred and eleven dollars? That's it. You owe that and you haven't even paid that?

• 1:27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:04Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, you're such a bad person.

• 1:27:07Speaker 03

  I mean, she really doesn't care, but I know I still owe her.

• 1:27:11Speaker 03

  We still go out together. You see, I have more friends besides my mystic.

• 1:27:17Caleb Hammer?

  No, you just called the mystic your best friend.

• 1:27:20Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah.

• 1:27:20Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, car loan, Hyundai?

• 1:27:23Speaker 03

  That one is a little tricky.

• 1:27:25Caleb Hammer?

  Right. Sold the car. They repo'd.

• 1:27:27Speaker 03

  Yes. Not because I wanted to.

• 1:27:32Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:33Speaker 03

  No way.

• 1:27:33Caleb Hammer?

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 1:27:35Speaker 03

  That car, I had got that car brand new because I was like, I want a car brand new, so I have no issues with it. Nothing mechanical wrong with it.

• 1:27:44Caleb Hammer?

  But?

• 1:27:44Speaker 03

  I got that car and it was fucked up.

• 1:27:46Caleb Hammer?

  You what?

• 1:27:47Speaker 03

  It was fucked up. Back to back, it kept messing up. I even got a lawyer and they didn't do their job, right?

• 1:27:54Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, it's always anyone and everyone but yourself. Shut up.

• 1:27:57Speaker 03

  I had to just jump for them.

• 1:27:58Caleb Hammer?

  For twenty-five, looks like after fees and everything and bullshit from the fifty, you owe twenty-six thousand eight hundred eleven.

• 1:28:04Speaker 03

  Again, that car did not work.

• 1:28:06Caleb Hammer?

  Touched it, have you?

• 1:28:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:28:07Caleb Hammer?

  No, shh.

• 1:28:08Speaker 03

  That just happened this summer.

• 1:28:10Caleb Hammer?

  Credit must be. Oh, great. It's fresh. It's new. It's gonna be on here forever. Is that your first repo?

• 1:28:14Speaker 03

  Yes. Like I said, the car was.

• 1:28:17Caleb Hammer?

  It is not.

• 1:28:18Speaker 03

  That's my first repo.

• 1:28:19Caleb Hammer?

  No, it is not.

• 1:28:21Speaker 03

  I don't have another repo.

• 1:28:24Caleb Hammer?

  You told Colton you do.

• 1:28:25Speaker 03

  The other one, yeah. But that car was paid off, though. My bad. I forgot about that one.

• 1:28:32Speaker 03

  So yes, this is my second one. But the first one, I missed that payment by a week and they took that car.

• 1:28:39Caleb Hammer?

  And that's not how that works. They won't take it from one week. They will not.

• 1:28:42Speaker 03

  The payments were always made on time on that one.

• 1:28:44Caleb Hammer?

  They will not take one week. It's three months.

• 1:28:46Speaker 03

  No, they took that one right away. They took that one right away. Okay. Were you there when the car got repo?

• 1:28:53Caleb Hammer?

  They will not do that.

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  I was there. That car was gone from that parking spot.

• 1:28:57Caleb Hammer?

  They won't do that.

• 1:29:00Speaker 03

  Well, they took it.

• 1:29:02Speaker 03

  Again, this car was because that car was messed up. Back to back messing up.

• 1:29:20Caleb Hammer?

  What's your current situation now?

• 1:29:22Speaker 03

  I don't have a car.

• 1:29:23Caleb Hammer?

  How'd you get here?

• 1:29:23Speaker 03

  Oh, I borrowed my mom's car.

• 1:29:25Caleb Hammer?

  What a leech. What a disgusting leech.

• 1:29:28Speaker 03

  Well, I had a car.

• 1:29:31Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh. $50,000 car you borrowed making $2,600 a month? Make it 30 a year, you borrowed a $50,000 car?

• 1:29:40Speaker 03

  Supposed to be reliable. Supposed to be.

• 1:29:43Caleb Hammer?

  Doesn't matter. It's a number that's not even close to something you can afford.

• 1:29:49Speaker 03

  Well, my goal was to go back to school and make more.

• 1:29:52Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, so let's get a $50,000 car that we can't afford. Shut up.

• 1:29:55Speaker 03

  That was reliable. But yeah, that car messed up.

• 1:30:00Caleb Hammer?

  We're negative in our checking.

• 1:30:05Caleb Hammer?

  Our Capital One checking, you're negative.

• 1:30:06Speaker 03

  That one.

• 1:30:08Caleb Hammer?

  Let's just spending money going to bullshit endlessly and just bullshit and bait shopping, KFC, Slim Chickens. This is bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Look at this. This is bullshit. Ladies and gentlemen, top down camera, get this.

• 1:30:23Caleb Hammer?

  Bullshit. He's stopping and getting into bullshit. What are you getting to the gas station for four bucks constantly?

• 1:30:28Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:30:29Caleb Hammer?

  You don't know what you stop in at the gas station and get.

• 1:30:32Speaker 03

  Probably a Red Bull or something.

• 1:30:33Caleb Hammer?

  You, you asshole.

• 1:30:35Speaker 03

  I have to go before work?

• 1:30:37Caleb Hammer?

  Gamer subs, take one of those, take one of those. Those are free samples. You guys can get free samples. Use code KALEHAMMER.

• 1:30:44Speaker 03

  Oh, I've had this before.

• 1:30:46Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, it is good. Listen, once you find the flavor you like, you get this, you mix it in. It, instead of a $5 Red Bull or whatever from the gas station, it is 25 cents a serving. It's like making your Red Bull at home and it tastes better. So I don't want to here, no more excuses. Link in the description below for 10% off, by the way.

• 1:31:04Speaker 03

  Can I take them all then? So I have to write, buy a Red Bull?

• 1:31:07Caleb Hammer?

  Endless Red Bulls and tacos, of course, and Amazon and Panda Express getting going in and getting some bullshit. Amazon vending machines, Apple bills, Jack in the Box, Bunny Stop Water Burger. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit tacos.

• 1:31:20Speaker 03

  The gas station.

• 1:31:21Caleb Hammer?

  Chicken, chicken, chicken, Amazon bullshit, then we're now McDonald's going in, getting some bullshit vending machine bullshit, bullshit. Look at this, guys.

• 1:31:28Speaker 03

  Give me my Red Bull.

• 1:31:29Caleb Hammer?

  Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. It is four pages, five pages of bullshit will be negative in a separate checking account as well. Of which I don't even see where the spending is because he didn't even give me those. What a joke. You're a joke. You're a bad person. You, I'm not making a budget for you to save your life. Come join the post show. Three premium shows every day, Monday through Friday. Click that join button, including this financial audit post show that I'm forced to film. You, you're a degenerate and I wish for the worst of you. Not really, kind of maybe a little fuck off.

• 1:32:00Speaker 03

  It'll eventually get paid. One day.

• 1:32:03Caleb Hammer?

  Call your fucking mister. Let me see. What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 1:32:06Speaker 06

  What is wrong with you?

• 1:32:08Caleb Hammer?

  Every single piece of advice that you are giving him is leading him to the hole of fucking destruction and death.

• 1:32:15Speaker 06

  That's up to him and what he chooses to do with my words.

• 1:32:18Caleb Hammer?

  He's a degenerate, disgusting animal.

• 1:32:20Speaker 06

  No, his path is leading him into a spiritual journey.

• 1:32:25Speaker 04

  Caleb, is this your least favorite episode in a minute?

• 1:32:27Caleb Hammer?

  I'm whole. I was staring at that clock. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.

• 1:32:48Speaker 06

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