Pod Insights Fin vs History Custard’s Last Stand | The Battle of Little Big Horn (Part 3/4) About this episode This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark.
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Where’s Me Bloody Knife?
The Battle Of Little Big Horn (Part 3)
The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.
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Chapters:
00:00 - AI vs Charlie
08:26 - Colonel Mustard
15:32 - Waste Of Skin
24:00 - He Loves A Charge
30:16 - Cumshot?
32:51 - So Horny And Hot
40:55 - Fin’s Dreadlocks
46:56 - Little Big Horny
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Transcript 10,820 words · 6 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
0:29 Speaker 01 Sorry to interrupt your slot pigs. I've got some exciting news. I'm making a sketch show, which is out now, with my other comedy wife, Andrew. It's called The Boys Go Wild Show. I'm really proud of it. Please watch it. And yeah, if it goes well, they might make it into a TV show. They might give us a chance to do more. So please, comment underneath going, "Oh, what a bloody fucking hell, that's amazing. Oh, that's the fun. My head's blown off. I've never seen anything so funny. Oh, my God. This needs to be so. Oh, my, my, my, my whole family died in a car crash. Then I saw this and I was like, that's bloody amazing. That's made me feel better. I'm glad they're dead." Anything like that will help. Thank you so much. Sorry for interrupting. That's all I had to say. Let's get back to it.
1:22 Speaker 02 Welcome back to Pim vs. History. Poseidon's Horatio Gould. He's done it. He's finally done it. He's been worn down. And he's gone for a big Native American hello. This is part three.
1:34 Speaker 01 A jolly one. Ho.
1:35 Speaker 02 Ho.
1:36 Speaker 01 Gay Native American. Ho.
1:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, what's, that's true, actually. They don't particularly camp people.
1:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I think, I think once you realise you can be camp culturally, it spreads like wildfire.
1:49 Speaker 02 Yes, exactly. Yeah. Drag, drag, drag queens reading to kids.
1:53 Speaker 01 I think people, when you're organized society, you don't have fellows acting really camp. And then you see one guy in denim cutoff and you're like, "Well, we can do that." "Hi."
2:03 Speaker 02 I want to dress like a baby, too.
2:05 Speaker 01 "Hi."
2:06 Speaker 02 But I suppose what would a gay Native Americans, would be called like sitting on cock?
2:11 Speaker 01 Sitting balls.
2:12 Speaker 02 Sitting balls. Crazy horse cock. We're talking about the Battle of the Little Big Horn. This is our series on the American Indian Wars. Just because our listeners are very thick, India is not involved.
2:28 Speaker 01 There's not a huge server of horny Indians.
2:30 Speaker 02 No, this is not.
2:31 Speaker 01 Who are commenting under an AI image of a 21 year old.
2:35 Speaker 02 Big bobs.
2:37 Speaker 01 Little big horny.
2:37 Speaker 02 That's what the battle we're fighting currently is the Battle of Little Big Horny Indians. It's more of a virtual war, digital war. Anyway, this is part three where we're going to talk about the actual battle itself. So we've introduced Custer and his sort of rivals Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse. Now, Custer is on the lookout with his 7th Cavalry for these Injuns.
3:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:03 Speaker 02 Injuns.
3:03 Speaker 01 That's nice. That's real, real old world stuff.
3:06 Speaker 02 Kenya stuff, isn't it?
3:07 Speaker 01 Injuns.
3:08 Speaker 02 I think it's better.
3:09 Speaker 01 It's nice.
3:09 Speaker 02 I think it's better than Call of the Minions.
3:10 Speaker 01 It's called Sinjin. It's like a, it's a rare.
3:12 Speaker 02 My old headmaster at my school was called Sinjin Parker.
3:14 Speaker 01 Sinjin.
3:15 Speaker 02 Sinjin Parker.
3:16 Speaker 01 Tasteful.
3:17 Speaker 02 So in March 1876, General Sheridan had forced the Lakota and the Cheyenne onto a Great Sioux Reservation.
3:27 Speaker 01 Was Sheridan a big player in the Civil War?
3:30 Speaker 02 Yes.
3:31 Speaker 01 Is he the scorched earth guy?
3:33 Speaker 02 I think they're all quite scorched earth.
3:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, but he invented scorched earth.
3:36 Speaker 02 Oh, really?
3:36 Speaker 01 I believe.
3:37 Speaker 02 Charlie, can you just Google, did General Sheridan invent scorched earth?
3:40 Speaker 01 I'm really in the weeds when it comes to American history.
3:44 Speaker 01 Partly because I'm quite stubborn, because I think Americans expect you to know their history and I kind of refuse to learn it out of spite.
3:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
3:51 Speaker 01 Like even, I was speaking to American comics and they thought we'd know about the Boston Tea Party. It's like, you're one of the 200 countries that's claimed independence from us.
3:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:59 Speaker 01 Why, what makes you?
4:00 Speaker 02 So special.
4:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:01 Speaker 02 He did not invent it, but he's famous for brutally implementing it during the American Civil War.
4:06 Speaker 01 That's pretty good.
4:07 Speaker 02 Fair enough. Now, the reservations, we'd said, that's basically center parks. They were forcing the American Indians onto center parks and they don't want to go because they feel trapped because they're nomadic people.
4:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, gypsies.
4:19 Speaker 02 They are gypsies. They're Indian gypsies.
4:23 Speaker 01 I'll fuck you.
4:23 Speaker 02 Some of your bobs, will ya?
4:24 Speaker 01 I'll fuck you. I'll fuck your mother.
4:28 Speaker 02 Yeah. Big Indian, yeah. Big Indian Tyson and John Fury.
4:34 Speaker 02 So they are, now, Little Big Horn is in Montana, is it?
4:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:39 Speaker 02 Is it Montana? Modern day Montana?
4:42 Speaker 01 Beautiful.
4:42 Speaker 02 The Little Big Horn is a big, is a river.
4:44 Speaker 01 Yeah. This is sort of the, the, don't you sometimes feel like the American landscape's wasted on the Americans a lot?
4:49 Speaker 02 Oh, so much of the country's wasted on them.
4:51 Speaker 01 I mean, it's some of the most beautiful places in the world.
4:53 Speaker 02 They deserve, Florida is, they've earned Florida, I think we can say. But yeah, like-
4:58 Speaker 01 This is some of the most amazing landscapes in the entire world.
5:01 Speaker 02 I know.
5:01 Speaker 01 And it's just, you're at.
5:04 Speaker 02 Yeah. And imagine it just roaming with-
5:06 Speaker 01 Or Joe Rogan hunting elk.
5:08 Speaker 02 Roaming with bison.
5:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:09 Speaker 02 Hordes of bison.
5:11 Speaker 01 And then now, there's like 1% of the population in like 100 years left, basically, of the bison.
5:16 Speaker 02 The Americans are on the hunt for the Sioux. Now, Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull and their mate Sits On Cock and Big Horny Gay Guy. They're all in a big village.
5:31 Speaker 01 And Little Horny Gay Guy.
5:31 Speaker 02 And Little Horny Gay Guy, of course. And Rattling Grumpy Blanket Woman and Fit Woman.
5:38 Speaker 01 Never shuts a fucking mouth, old trap bitch.
5:40 Speaker 02 Yep.
5:42 Speaker 02 And Howl Old, the paedophile. They're all, they're, they're all in a big village, the biggest gathering of Indians supposedly ever. Cause they're scattering around normally.
5:54 Speaker 01 But they're like sort of portable Glastonbury, right?
5:56 Speaker 02 Yes.
5:57 Speaker 01 It's like Glastonbury if you were just constantly moving.
6:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, Gypsy Glastonbury, Gypsy Bree. So they're at this big festival. Now, to recap, Sitting Bull had done a Sundance Festival. He had not made an independent film. He had been, he'd gorged himself, he'd put bits of his flesh out. It's all, it's like Morris dancing, but, but with kind of if it was done by that German guy who wanted to eat some people.
6:19 Speaker 01 Right, right. BDSM Morris.
6:21 Speaker 02 BDSM Morris dancing is what they're doing. He had a vision that he would win a great victory against US soldiers. Custer and the 7th Cavalry have discovered gold in the Black Hills, the hills of colour, and they're forcing the Native Americans onto reservations.
6:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:34 Speaker 02 Custer thinks he knows how to beat the Indians because of the Wasita massacre, which we talked about in the first episode.
6:41 Speaker 02 You want to get the women and children hostage. Surround them and then they'll give up, basically. That's the, that's the play. Sheridan is in charge of the campaign to find all the Injuns. And in March, he sets out Colonel John Gibbon from Fort Ellis with 450 men. Then in May, General Terry, who is a bit of a, he's sort of an old.
7:05 Speaker 01 Chewed up.
7:06 Speaker 02 He's not really a geezer.
7:08 Speaker 01 Right, man, it's Terry.
7:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's not Terry.
7:10 Speaker 01 It's John Terry.
7:11 Speaker 02 He's not John Terry. He's not parking in disabled bay and just taking the fine because he's that rich. I mean, that is, that's aspirational, isn't it? That's, that's, that's, I think that's new money class.
7:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's like a level of like, you know, you're innovating in a way. This should become old.
7:24 Speaker 02 I respect that, actually. Like, you're not classy. You're new money. You're a footballer. But you're, you know, it gives me hope that you can learn class.
7:34 Speaker 01 Because that, that is the right idea.
7:36 Speaker 02 You've got the entitlement down to a T. No, I'm going to park there. Fuck it. I'll just take a park. It's an expensive parking.
7:42 Speaker 01 What's the, what's the fine? Do you know roughly?
7:44 Speaker 02 Well, if you pay it in, I'm, I'm, I'm never parked, I've never been fined for parking in disabled bay. I'm going off any other speeding ticket. But if you pay it within 14 days, it's 80 pounds. And I think if you don't, it's 160, 200, something like that.
7:59 Speaker 01 So it's slightly closer to the supermarket and he'll pay eight quid to save like five minutes. I like that.
8:05 Speaker 02 So Terry and Custer have led about 900 men out of Fort Lincoln, Dakota. And then General Crook and a thousand men have left Fort Fatty, Fatiman in Wyoming. And so there are these three columns, very similar to the Zulu campaign under Chelmsford. Three columns are looking for the natives.
8:21 Speaker 01 And it's about the same time, right? When was Zulu?
8:24 Speaker 02 Rorke's Drift is 1879. It's just, you're right, we should place this. 1876.
8:29 Speaker 01 So it's before Rorke's Drift?
8:30 Speaker 02 Just before Rorke's Drift. And it is after.
8:35 Speaker 01 300, this is Sparta.
8:37 Speaker 02 Lovely placing. A good, what's that? 2000 years?
8:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:42 Speaker 02 When's Sparta? 300 B.C.?
8:44 Speaker 01 When's Thermopylae? When's the Battle of Thermopylae?
8:46 Speaker 02 Monopoly? Battle of Monopoly?
8:48 Speaker 01 It comes up, right? You got it.
8:50 Speaker 02 Fuck me, Charlie, you really have trained AI mode.
8:53 Speaker 01 480 B.C.
8:54 Speaker 02 You've asked, you Googled Battle of Monopoly and it's come up with the Battle of Thermopylae 480 B.C. Wow. Charlie, I've said it before, you are single-handedly making AI thicker.
9:05 Speaker 01 It's the fight against AI.
9:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, you really are. You're the foot soldier against AI's dominance.
9:10 Speaker 01 So 480 B.C. to 1879.
9:13 Speaker 02 If Charlie was, if the Terminator films were set in like the future where Charlie's in the present.
9:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:19 Speaker 02 The Terminator would come back like, like really thick.
9:25 Speaker 01 And there's a cloud in the motorcycle.
9:27 Speaker 02 That's Arnold Schwarzenegger, if he's learnt from Charlie. So 17th of June, 1876, the Battle of the Rosebud. Ladies, we're getting into some 19th century military history. Pack a spare pair of pants.
9:41 Speaker 01 Talcum powder.
9:42 Speaker 02 If you've left the house, go back in and get some spare panties, okay?
9:46 Speaker 01 Deep moisturizer.
9:47 Speaker 02 Deep moisturize your loins. They will get chapped.
9:52 Speaker 02 Okay, this is military history. This is shed history, okay? To be enjoyed alone.
9:59 Speaker 02 So the Battle of the Rosebud. Now, the Rosebud River, what is it, Charlie?
10:04 Speaker 03 Isn't Rosebud a sleeper agent thing where you can wake up a spy?
10:09 Speaker 01 No, that's, you're talking about the Manchurian Candidate. I think you're getting confused with Citizen Kane and the Manchurian Candidate. Citizen Kane, there's, he keeps saying Rosebud, but it's like a...
10:18 Speaker 03 So it's nothing to do with this?
10:20 Speaker 01 No, but it's around the time.
10:21 Speaker 02 It's the same word.
10:22 Speaker 01 No, it's not around the time.
10:23 Speaker 02 It's the same word. You've recognised a word.
10:24 Speaker 03 Thank you.
10:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, same word.
10:26 Speaker 02 But again, I don't think we can, you have to not...
10:29 Speaker 01 But cheat code on Sims, if you want to get money, was Rosebud in Sims 1, I think.
10:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, with a semicolon, semicolon, yeah.
10:34 Speaker 03 So it's the long road to Sims?
10:36 Speaker 02 I suppose it's the long road to...
10:38 Speaker 01 It is before Sims. Did you ever play Sims?
10:41 Speaker 02 Yes, a lot.
10:42 Speaker 01 Because you have an...
10:43 Speaker 02 Cobble schna, nah?
10:44 Speaker 01 Do you have an older sister or a younger sister?
10:46 Speaker 02 Younger sister.
10:47 Speaker 01 Because I've got an older sister, so a lot of that, I was getting a lot of chick shit.
10:50 Speaker 02 I was original. Sims, Sims House Party.
10:53 Speaker 01 Yeah?
10:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:53 Speaker 01 Were you making them do Wahoo?
10:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, Wahoo. I was putting them in the pool, then deleting the stairs and then just watching them just prang out.
10:59 Speaker 01 Yeah. Fast forward to the grimy he becomes. They're pissing and shitting everywhere.
11:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, I loved it.
11:03 Speaker 01 It's brilliant. But what I'd do is you'd get like, like eight, you got eight 19-year-olds, well, eight teenagers.
11:08 Speaker 02 Right. I don't think, okay.
11:10 Speaker 01 And one adult you make ugly as possible.
11:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:13 Speaker 01 Because who gives a fuck? Because you have to have one adult there and then you kill him and then it's just fucking, we're all just hanging out.
11:18 Speaker 02 Right.
11:18 Speaker 01 I'm fucking 14 at the time, so don't give me that look.
11:21 Speaker 02 So you're making like Sims Epstein Island expansion back?
11:24 Speaker 01 Well, if the kids run the asylum, you know. Parents get, it's PGL. Parents get lost.
11:28 Speaker 03 Oh, what's your sister like?
11:29 Speaker 02 Charlotte, what?
11:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, we get on. She's great.
11:37 Speaker 01 She's nice.
11:37 Speaker 03 Nice.
11:38 Speaker 02 Have you met her?
11:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, I've met her a couple of times.
11:40 Speaker 03 I haven't met her yet.
11:41 Speaker 01 She's very nice.
11:41 Speaker 02 No.
11:42 Speaker 01 No, you're not allowed to meet her, Charlie.
11:43 Speaker 02 No, you need to wear Hannibal Lecter mask before you come anywhere near my family.
11:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, US troops led by Crook are hit by a surprise attack from the Lakota and the Cheyenne led by Crazy Horse. They killed 28 men, wounded about 50. Because of this, Crook retreats and cannot meet Custer as they had planned at Little Big Horn. So they were meant to all meet up, these forces, to encircle what they think is a big encampment of Indians.
12:09 Speaker 01 But they don't know how big it is.
12:11 Speaker 02 They don't know how big it is. So Custer is underprepared and he's ill-supported, okay? He's not got the forces. Terry and Custer are divided.
12:19 Speaker 01 It's Wayne Bridge and John Terry.
12:21 Speaker 02 It is Wayne Bridge and John Terry over, uh, Custer's, I can't even call him Custard then.
12:26 Speaker 01 Colonel Mustard.
12:27 Speaker 02 Colonel Mustard. Colonel Mustard in the Conservative with a Tomahawk.
12:33 Speaker 02 They're divided because General Custard is obviously, he's a, you know, he's reckless.
12:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, he's reckless, of course.
12:39 Speaker 02 Terry.
12:39 Speaker 01 He's getting another dollop of Custard every time.
12:41 Speaker 02 This episode of Inverse History is brought to you by Surfshark.
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14:26 Speaker 01 Do you?
14:27 Speaker 00 Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
14:57 Speaker 04 He built the first planet-wide media empire.
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15:51 Speaker 02 We run the Foxtrot vagina hotel and you get four extra months of Surfshark. Don't let these online threats catch you off-guard. Custard liked to leave troops behind if he didn't think it was beneficial to save them. Always leave a man behind.
16:05 Speaker 01 Always.
16:05 Speaker 02 Fuck them off. Yeah, they slow you down, always leave them behind. He brings his brothers with him. And then the Custards often leave. He always, he travels with like 20 dogs. He's a big dog guy.
16:16 Speaker 01 Right, he travels deep.
16:17 Speaker 02 He travels, yeah, he travels heavy. He's like, he's like a rich woman.
16:23 Speaker 01 Right.
16:23 Speaker 02 So many suitcases.
16:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
16:25 Speaker 02 And they get smaller. They have a babushka dollar suitcases.
16:28 Speaker 01 But he's very vain as well, so he probably doesn't look.
16:30 Speaker 02 He's designing his own uniform. He's got big, long hair, which is not regulation. So he keeps going hunting.
16:35 Speaker 01 And that's his biggest, the thing you most hate most about him.
16:37 Speaker 02 Yes.
16:38 Speaker 01 Non-regulation haircut.
16:39 Speaker 02 Non-regulation haircut.
16:40 Speaker 01 Fucking disgrace.
16:40 Speaker 02 That's his biggest crime for mine.
16:43 Speaker 02 So they discover a dead American soldier at like a native camp that they've uncovered. And so what they do is they find a Native American burial ground and they desecrate it, which is the one thing you're not meant to do.
16:56 Speaker 01 I mean, that's the start of a film, right?
16:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:58 Speaker 01 You don't desecrate those because it's all.
16:59 Speaker 02 Charlie, can you Google why you're not meant to desecrate a native? Like, you get cursed, don't you?
17:03 Speaker 01 I think that's what Charlie probably desecrated a Native American burial site. That's why he's like this.
17:07 Speaker 02 Yes, that would make sense.
17:09 Speaker 01 You know, because, because like Hindus, for example, are on Instagram commenting, send bobs.
17:16 Speaker 02 Yes.
17:16 Speaker 01 It's ruined the mystique of their religion a bit.
17:18 Speaker 02 Because there's so many of them around. I've got eight arms to feel all your tits with.
17:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly. But if they'd, if they'd been tragically wiped out, then we would, it'd be a lot more like romanticized, you know?
17:28 Speaker 02 Bobs moving in the air.
17:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, so you've Googled, why shouldn't you desecrate a Native American graveyard? And because you've trained this AI, it's telling you as if you're at a Native American graveyard, looking to shit on it. And it's going, okay, here are the reasons why you should not do that. Legal protections, historical injustice and trauma. I mean, what's spooky, like, what is going to curse you?
17:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, what's the curse stuff?
17:54 Speaker 03 Like, could you, what if you, is there a way of confusing the kind of Native American ghosts by like, taking a shit on the graveyard, but like thanking them loads and like kind of crying? But like, I thank you so much for this.
18:07 Speaker 01 You're doing stepovers.
18:08 Speaker 03 You're sort of like, you're pooing, but you're thanking them. You're dropping fibers, but you're also...
18:13 Speaker 02 You're dropping fibers? So you're pooing and leaving money?
18:16 Speaker 01 I think the Native American ghosts don't really see...
18:18 Speaker 03 And hitting yourself in the head, like, you're just like doing all sorts.
18:21 Speaker 02 But Native Americans don't famously, the money's not really their thing.
18:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, like a five pound note with the queen.
18:25 Speaker 03 You're leaving like bowls of like fruit and like porridge.
18:28 Speaker 02 Fruit bowls, fruit baskets.
18:30 Speaker 03 Bacon.
18:30 Speaker 01 I think the fruit baskets, that does seem quite respectful.
18:33 Speaker 02 I think that seems even more racist.
18:35 Speaker 01 What?
18:36 Speaker 02 Sorry, pooing on another culture's graveyard, but leaving them a fruit basket as if that's going to offset the fact you're shitting on them?
18:42 Speaker 03 No, but you're thanking them as well.
18:44 Speaker 02 For taking your shit.
18:45 Speaker 01 Oh, but it's like you're paying for the right to shit. It's like you're going to a brothel.
18:50 Speaker 02 It's John Terry parking in a disabled bay and just taking the fine is what it is.
18:54 Speaker 01 I'm desperate to do this, I'll take whatever comes.
18:56 Speaker 02 Whatever, it's just an expensive park, yeah, I need a poo, so this is just an expensive poo, I guess. Just get a fruit basket in, fuck it.
19:03 Speaker 01 But it wasn't General Terry, it's General Custer, right? Terry's not doing this.
19:07 Speaker 02 No.
19:07 Speaker 01 No, this is...
19:08 Speaker 02 This is Custer. Anyway, but Custer's men desecrate a native burial ground. Which, look, when we're looking for what happens at, I don't know if it's pooing.
19:16 Speaker 03 Or what?
19:16 Speaker 02 I don't know.
19:17 Speaker 01 Just going, eh, eh, fucker.
19:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:20 Speaker 03 Wanker.
19:22 Speaker 02 Oh, I'm buried and dead, ew, I'm stupid, ew. I don't know, I don't know how you desecrate it if you don't poo, I guess is the question. Custer's brothers.
19:30 Speaker 03 Spitting and coming?
19:31 Speaker 02 Spitting and coming.
19:32 Speaker 01 Custer's brothers, and we haven't really talked about his brothers, but they're around for the whole thing.
19:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:36 Speaker 01 They're putting their dicks in things, they're shagging about. Like, you don't, we haven't really... The story doesn't really tell much about them.
19:43 Speaker 02 No.
19:44 Speaker 01 But they do just seem to like impregnate women along the way.
19:47 Speaker 02 Yeah. Well, the boys.
19:48 Speaker 01 They're the boys.
19:48 Speaker 02 It's a boys' trip.
19:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:49 Speaker 02 Yeah. And also, we should be said that the Rest of History did this story in 11 episodes, and we're doing it in four, because we are more concise than them somehow.
19:57 Speaker 01 We cut the fat out.
19:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, they're just warbling, and they're getting distracted, and they're talking about things that aren't relevant.
20:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly.
20:03 Speaker 02 Anyway, so we're talking about John Terry and General Custard.
20:09 Speaker 02 Now Custard is particularly disliked by his other, two of his other, what are they called? Commanders.
20:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:16 Speaker 02 Major Marcus Reno and Captain Frederick Benteen.
20:19 Speaker 01 Benteen's a sowpuss, right?
20:20 Speaker 02 We met Benteen, he was a sowpuss, who he'd been with him at Wachita. And Reno is this, he really comes off badly. He's an absolute waste of skin, this guy.
20:29 Speaker 01 Okay, why?
20:30 Speaker 02 Because he completely panics when they actually get to the fighting. So, 22nd of June, Terry detaches from Custard and the 7th Cavalry create a flank against the Americans. So Custard is meant to approach the natives from the east and the south. Terry and Gibbon take the north to block anyone from fleeing the attacks, and the troops are split up along the tongue of the Little Big Horn River.
20:51 Speaker 01 Right.
20:52 Speaker 02 Okay, ladies, moisturize your loins. So the idea is to enclose the tribes so they can't escape.
20:58 Speaker 01 Hmm.
20:59 Speaker 02 This is what they did at Wachita.
21:00 Speaker 01 It's worked before.
21:01 Speaker 02 The 24th of June, the Crow Scouts, now that's a tribe, that's not birds.
21:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:06 Speaker 02 They're working for Custard, and they spot signs of a tribal encampment by the Little Big Horn.
21:11 Speaker 01 So the Crow working, similar to the Mashika, or was it the other way around?
21:14 Speaker 02 The Tesh, no, the Tesh, the...
21:16 Speaker 01 Fuck, what's they called?
21:17 Speaker 02 The Axolotls, I don't fucking know what they're called. Yeah, that lot, the Aztec ones.
21:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:22 Speaker 02 The Tashkarlands.
21:23 Speaker 01 Tashkarlands, yeah. Divide and conquer.
21:26 Speaker 02 Did you, I found out, did you know that Kashkai, the word Kashkai is an Iranian ethnicity?
21:30 Speaker 01 Is it?
21:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:31 Speaker 01 Kashkai?
21:32 Speaker 02 As in the car I drive.
21:34 Speaker 01 Really?
21:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:35 Speaker 01 And how do you feel now? Do you drive it into a fucking canal? In protest.
21:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, I feel weird about it.
21:42 Speaker 01 Where's the, is it not Japanese?
21:45 Speaker 02 I thought that.
21:46 Speaker 01 Is it an Iranian car company?
21:47 Speaker 02 No, no, Nissan, Nissan is Japanese, but the word Kashkai, the model of the car, is named after an Iranian tribe.
21:55 Speaker 01 Oh, right, the Kashkai.
21:56 Speaker 02 The Kashkai.
21:57 Speaker 01 Can we see what the Kashkai's look like?
21:59 Speaker 02 Not the car.
22:00 Speaker 01 Kashkai tribe.
22:00 Speaker 02 I know, the Kashkai tribe, you know what we were just talking about? Yeah.
22:05 Speaker 03 Well, they don't look like the car, that's for sure.
22:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, they don't.
22:08 Speaker 03 Here you go, fellas.
22:08 Speaker 01 Right, interesting.
22:10 Speaker 02 What were you saying? Little Indian fellas.
22:13 Speaker 03 I said, here you go, fellas.
22:14 Speaker 02 Oh, right.
22:18 Speaker 02 They don't like, they don't like little Indian fellas.
22:20 Speaker 01 Right.
22:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, this is them.
22:21 Speaker 03 Why have they called the car after that then?
22:22 Speaker 02 That's what we were literally just talking about.
22:24 Speaker 01 The last nomads of Iran, I guess because they're nomadic people.
22:27 Speaker 03 The volvites.
22:28 Speaker 01 Kashkai, you're a nomad. You're like an Iranian nomad, you're sort of just travelling from place to place, drifting in and out.
22:34 Speaker 02 I tell you what, if they're anything like my Kashkai, those people are the dirtiest people in the world.
22:37 Speaker 01 I've been in your Kashkai.
22:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, my Kashkai's a disgrace.
22:40 Speaker 01 I've been bundled in with three other people into your Kashkai.
22:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's bad, it's really bad. These people have mould in their feet.
22:45 Speaker 01 Someone's just got a whole pack of biscuits and just gone like.
22:49 Speaker 02 My son has done that. My son has got a pack of biscuits and just slingshot it and repeatedly hit it against the backseat. And then just emptied, and then just cream cheese sandwiches and just slapped them on the side. It is an experiment, it's a social experiment, my car.
23:03 Speaker 01 It's a biological warfare.
23:05 Speaker 02 These tribes must be the stinkiest people on the planet, if they're anything like my Kashkai.
23:10 Speaker 02 I saw a very, I saw a very funny reel.
23:13 Speaker 01 Uh oh.
23:15 Speaker 02 Very funny.
23:18 Speaker 02 Of an F-15, have you seen this? Of an F-15 being chased by a guy on a magic carpet with an AK.
23:24 Speaker 01 No, I didn't see that.
23:25 Speaker 02 It's great stuff, Iranian Air Force, anyway. Oh, good, I love my Instagram. I really love it.
23:32 Speaker 01 Was that a solo laugh out loud moment?
23:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, on the train last night, on the train last night. Did a charity gig and then I had some me time on the train home, watching racist reels, all right? Just offsetting my carbon footprint.
23:45 Speaker 01 But you're being racist on stage and then watching your racist reels, you know, it's kind of seamless.
23:49 Speaker 02 But I was being racist on stage and not being paid for it.
23:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:52 Speaker 02 Right, the Crow Scouts find a tribal encampment by Little Big Horn. Now, this is important because Custer's troops have been marching for fucking ages.
24:03 Speaker 01 Right.
24:03 Speaker 02 They march all through the night.
24:05 Speaker 01 It's a nine man.
24:05 Speaker 02 They march all through the night and they want to have a, the plan was they'd sleep all day.
24:09 Speaker 01 And party all night.
24:10 Speaker 02 Party all night. They sleep all day.
24:12 Speaker 01 Sleep all day.
24:14 Speaker 02 And then on the, on it would be the 26th of June, it's just as dawn, they do a dawn raid.
24:18 Speaker 03 How do we know that?
24:19 Speaker 02 What?
24:20 Speaker 03 How do we know it was the 26th of June? How's anyone, how's anyone doing the time or date at that point?
24:24 Speaker 02 Well, it's only 1876.
24:26 Speaker 03 I don't know what day of the week it is.
24:28 Speaker 02 It's not that long ago.
24:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. But you can't believe if someone knows the date a week ago.
24:32 Speaker 02 It's not that long ago at all.
24:32 Speaker 03 When is it then?
24:33 Speaker 02 Right, Charlie.
24:34 Speaker 03 1876.
24:35 Speaker 02 This is gonna blow your head. At Christmas, I went to see my nan, my, my old Scottish nan, Raggedy Bag Woman or whatever the Native Americans would have called her. Raggedy Woman Who Won't Die, right? Right? She, she's 97 and so I was in that room with my kids, me, my uncle and her. Four generations in one room and I was the second youngest. If I'd been the youngest, I would have been in the room with someone who had fought at the Somme in World War One. Right? That's how close this history is.
25:06 Speaker 03 If you'd have been the youngest.
25:07 Speaker 02 So my kids were the youngest in that room.
25:09 Speaker 01 I do think you took some leaps there trying to explain that. That wasn't gonna, that wasn't gonna land.
25:13 Speaker 03 If you'd have been the youngest, you'd have been your kid.
25:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, I, I think you went right back the wrong way with Charlie. That would, I was just thinking, ask Charlie.
25:20 Speaker 02 Do you not find that amazing though?
25:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:22 Speaker 02 That's pretty amazing.
25:23 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
25:24 Speaker 02 As in I was the, there's four generations in one room.
25:27 Speaker 03 Okay.
25:28 Speaker 02 Yeah. And I'm the second youngest generation. If I'd been the youngest generation, as in there'd been a generation above that.
25:37 Speaker 02 If you'd moved the generations down.
25:39 Speaker 01 Basically, his granny's mum fought in the Somme.
25:42 Speaker 02 No, no, no, no. My granny's father-in-law fought in the Somme. My granny's mum did not fight in the Somme.
25:49 Speaker 03 If you'd have.
25:50 Speaker 02 My granny's, my granny's mum was too busy doing blackface in Blackpool.
25:54 Speaker 01 Where did you get the mud from?
25:55 Speaker 02 Not the Somme. That, I mean, of all blackface to do, using it with hallowed turf is surely.
26:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I mean, it's also the perfect crime.
26:04 Speaker 02 What, so you go, hang on, I'm quite offended by that. This is actually mud from the Somme. Oh, so it's a sign of respect. It's during the Somme.
26:09 Speaker 01 During the Somme, no one's calling you problematic for doing, putting mud on your face.
26:13 Speaker 02 No.
26:14 Speaker 01 You know.
26:14 Speaker 02 I guess so.
26:15 Speaker 01 You can really hide in there.
26:16 Speaker 02 But then.
26:16 Speaker 01 There's a lot of other stuff going on.
26:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, but if you come back and you're trying to get away with blackface by saying it's actually like a more, a more poignant poppy. I blacked up with the mud of the Somme.
26:24 Speaker 03 Poopy.
26:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:26 Speaker 03 It's kind of poopy.
26:29 Speaker 02 Do you understand what I'm saying though?
26:30 Speaker 03 No, I don't care. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
26:33 Speaker 02 But you asked, you, you've stopped this, Nat. You've stopped the podcast.
26:36 Speaker 03 It doesn't matter, man.
26:37 Speaker 01 Basically, it's not that long ago.
26:39 Speaker 03 If there'd been one older. An older generation would have been around at the same time as Raging Bull and stuff.
26:44 Speaker 02 Not Raging Bull. That's a film in the eighties with Robert De Niro.
26:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, your parents were around for Raging Bull.
26:51 Speaker 03 Sitting Bull.
26:52 Speaker 02 Sitting Bull.
26:53 Speaker 03 Would have been around when your granny granny was around.
26:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, definitely.
26:57 Speaker 02 Definitely.
26:57 Speaker 03 I know, but I know that already.
26:58 Speaker 02 Some of these people that we're talking about lived till the end of the Second World War.
27:03 Speaker 03 Right.
27:03 Speaker 02 Yeah. This is important. We're, we're into military history, okay? Women have left the house and they haven't packed spare pants. Okay? This is dangerous for our listeners. He wants to rest his troops all, they're going to march through the night, they're going to have a big sleep in the day. And then they're going to attack at dawn on the morning of the 26th of June.
27:21 Speaker 01 Right.
27:22 Speaker 02 However, when the scouts say that the native warriors have left, Custer is worried that he's not going to get his big victory.
27:32 Speaker 01 That's all it's about.
27:32 Speaker 02 Because he wants a big victory.
27:33 Speaker 01 He's a big egomaniac.
27:34 Speaker 02 And bear in mind, this is the 26th of June, 1876. It is but 10 days before the big centenary of the American nation.
27:42 Speaker 01 And so he wants to just get over the line so that he can come through as a massive hero.
27:45 Speaker 02 He can be lauded at the big centenary and then he can launch a political career and he can be get on the after dinner circuit. That's what he wants to do. Right. It's like Boris Johnson in that regard.
27:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:53 Speaker 02 It's all stepping stones for the after dinner circuit.
27:57 Speaker 02 What he does is he goes, fuck it. I know we've just marched through the night, like, I don't know how many miles, a lot, a lot. They've done a tough mudder.
28:04 Speaker 01 Right.
28:04 Speaker 02 With no mud, right? And he goes, fuck it, we're just gonna do it live.
28:09 Speaker 01 Right, yeah, yeah.
28:09 Speaker 02 And so they're knackered, and on the morning of the 25th, he goes, let's just attack.
28:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:13 Speaker 02 So the scouts are like, no, no, no.
28:17 Speaker 01 No.
28:18 Speaker 02 No, I don't know how they sound. Um, there's, one of the Crow Scouts is called Half Yellowface, which is, listen.
28:23 Speaker 01 Excuse me?
28:24 Speaker 02 Come on, that, I don't know why you've named it.
28:26 Speaker 01 Even for the time, I think that's.
28:26 Speaker 02 I don't know why you've named yourself that. That, you know, the Native Americans, we shouldn't romanticise them.
28:30 Speaker 01 No.
28:31 Speaker 02 They were, they were, you know, they were not.
28:32 Speaker 01 As problematic as everyone else, you know?
28:33 Speaker 02 They were, they were not politically correct people.
28:38 Speaker 01 To be fair, we didn't see what this guy looked like.
28:39 Speaker 02 Yes, we didn't.
28:40 Speaker 01 He could have literally had.
28:41 Speaker 02 I think we'd say mixed race now.
28:42 Speaker 01 He could have had a lemon-coloured bottom half of his face.
28:44 Speaker 02 Yes.
28:45 Speaker 01 And then it would be like, well, maybe that's fine.
28:47 Speaker 02 So, uh, yellow, half-yellowface, again, this is not, I'm not, this is not my terminology. Half-yellowface tells General Custard, that is my terminology. You and I are going home today by a road we do not know.
28:59 Speaker 01 Oh, can you stop speaking in riddles, mate?
29:00 Speaker 02 Custard's like, oh, what, do you mean the M6?
29:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:02 Speaker 02 I don't know that road. Um, so.
29:04 Speaker 01 Why do they all speak like Yoda? Do you know what I mean?
29:05 Speaker 02 Well, they're Native Americans.
29:06 Speaker 01 Right, fair enough.
29:07 Speaker 02 They're, they're, they're.
29:08 Speaker 01 I guess Yoda's sort of based on Native Americans, the way he speaks.
29:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, totally, totally. Meanwhile, at the encampment, a big village, 7,000 Indians.
29:16 Speaker 01 Yep.
29:18 Speaker 02 The Sioux boys take a suicide pact, because this is, you know, teenagers are always doing this. Doesn't matter what point in history.
29:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're listening to My Chemical Romance.
29:26 Speaker 02 They're fuelled by a, the vision of, they are, US defeat. And during a ceremony, they dance and they pledge to fight until the death. Uh, it's called a dying dance. Uh, and you've got people like, called Spotted Elk and Crooked Nose,
29:41 Speaker 02 uh, who said everyone gathers to sing as the boys dance. Um, four of the boys were called Little Whirlwing, Cut Belly, Closed Hand, and Noisy Walking.
29:49 Speaker 01 Noisy Walking?
29:50 Speaker 02 I don't know what noisy walking is. Does he fart as he walks? We can't know. Uh, they all get killed at the battle the next day. So I guess if you're doing a dying dance, I suppose that's, that's.
29:57 Speaker 01 Brilliant.
29:58 Speaker 02 Well, that's.
29:58 Speaker 01 Job done.
29:58 Speaker 02 It's like a rain dance, isn't it?
29:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:00 Speaker 02 They didn't know Custard was gonna attack, but they were suspicious after Rosebud.
30:04 Speaker 01 What was the Rosebud thing again?
30:05 Speaker 02 That was, oh, I don't know, because China started talking about the fucking Sims.
30:08 Speaker 01 After Rosebud?
30:09 Speaker 02 Rosebud was the first, that was the first, that was an ambush.
30:12 Speaker 01 Right, right, right, right.
30:13 Speaker 02 Right. So, let's get to the, let's get to Custard's plan. So Custard is on a hill and he, he can't see how big the village is, crucially.
30:22 Speaker 01 Or does he see how big the village is when he gets up on the hill, I thought?
30:26 Speaker 02 Where he is.
30:27 Speaker 01 I think he then sees, fuck, it's way bigger than I thought it was when he's up on the hill.
30:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, but as in before he gets onto the hill, maybe.
30:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:34 Speaker 02 He doesn't know there's about 8,000 people with about 2,000 warriors, right? And he has got maybe 600 men, but he divides that further. He's got 600 men and he thinks again, like he did at Washeeta, if you occupy the village, hold the elderly women, children hostage, Evan will surrender. So what does he do? Instead of going to bed.
30:51 Speaker 01 That would work on you, would it?
30:53 Speaker 02 I'd be like, well, brilliant.
30:54 Speaker 01 Brilliant.
30:54 Speaker 02 I'm off then.
30:56 Speaker 01 See ya.
30:56 Speaker 02 Win, win.
30:58 Speaker 01 Keep him.
30:58 Speaker 02 Keep him, you're fine. Absolutely fine.
31:03 Speaker 02 You freed me from my own prison. Suddenly I'm the hostage that's freed now.
31:09 Speaker 02 So he should be waiting for backup from Crook or Gibbon or Terry or whoever the fuck they're up there called.
31:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:14 Speaker 02 But he doesn't. So Custer splits his force into four segments. Right, a pack train of supplies and ammunition. Three companies led by Reno, who's the absolute disgrace, wet bag.
31:26 Speaker 01 Right.
31:26 Speaker 02 They're going to attack from the south, that's about 140 men. Three companies. He's a wet bag, he's a wet bag, yeah. Captain Benteen goes southwest to find natives with 125 men. And then five companies led by Custer, which is 210 men, are going to charge from the north.
31:40 Speaker 01 Right.
31:41 Speaker 02 Right.
31:41 Speaker 01 He loves to charge, Custer.
31:42 Speaker 02 He loves to charge. And this is his big mistake. He splits the forces.
31:47 Speaker 01 Right.
31:47 Speaker 02 He's already outnumbered, but he's split them even further.
31:50 Speaker 01 Because he's, he's a lot of hubris, right? Because it's worked before, he feels like he's kind of invincible.
31:55 Speaker 02 But he's also thinking, there's no way we're not going to win.
31:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:57 Speaker 02 They haven't slept. A mature man would have gone to bed, you know?
32:02 Speaker 01 It was Charlie yesterday.
32:33 Speaker 04 He built the first planet-wide media empire.
32:36 Speaker 05 He monetized the paranoia and resentment that led to Donald Trump and Brexit.
32:41 Speaker 04 He ruined his own family in his obsessive quest for money, power and legacy.
32:46 Speaker 05 This is the story of Rupert Murdoch, the real-life succession.
32:50 Speaker 04 Join me, Dorian Linsky.
32:51 Speaker 05 And me, Ian Dunst, for season 10 of Origin Story, the show that uses the past to explain the present.
32:58 Speaker 04 That's Origin Story, kicking off with a two-part special on Rupert Murdoch on all podcast platforms now.
33:05 Speaker 02 Go to bed. You know, you should, you know, it's what they always say.
33:07 Speaker 01 There's a confidence to a man who hasn't slept.
33:09 Speaker 02 Sleep's always the main thing and, you know, you shouldn't exchange stuff for sleep. That's what they all say. All those boring cuts on Instagram. So, on 25th of June, this is the battle, 25th of June, 1876. Reno's company attacks first. They take the settlement by surprise. They charge and then they start firing. They're not supplies. Reno is not half-yellow-faced, he's full-white-faced.
33:35 Speaker 02 So, the warriors quickly mobilize all the Indians and they launch a counter-attack. And then Reno, rather than like charging into the village to keep shooting, he orders everyone to dismount and sets up like a firing line.
33:49 Speaker 01 Okay, because he's a, because his bum's gone.
33:52 Speaker 02 Because his bum, his bum has collapsed.
33:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, he's Neville Chamberlain in the field.
33:54 Speaker 02 He's pissed. He is pissed and he doesn't really know what he's doing. And so this causes the offensive to falter because they're suddenly, they're stationary and allow all the momentum to the Native Americans to charge them.
34:05 Speaker 01 I also think that the reinforcements that are coming are having like a holiday. They're fishing and they're going on hikes and stuff because they're slowly meant to be coming up. But they haven't met up with the forces because Custer's so far ahead. They're literally just having like a...
34:17 Speaker 02 Well, Americans don't go for walks, do they? They go on a hike.
34:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, so they're all just...
34:20 Speaker 02 They drive to a desert and then walk around a bit.
34:23 Speaker 01 They're always going camping.
34:24 Speaker 02 Like dogs. So, all momentum is immediately lost and people say that if he had kept charging into the village, it would have caused such panic that maybe, you know, the outcome would have been different.
34:38 Speaker 01 Probably.
34:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:39 Speaker 01 I don't know.
34:39 Speaker 02 Anyway. Yeah, I mean, who knows? We're not, you know, we're not military men. Um, so Sitting Bull is trying to sue for peace and sends a messenger to meet Reno, but then they get shot, wounded and his favourite horse gets killed. So he goes, right, well, you, right, that's, that's, that's not all right, actually. And then Reno had an Indian scout called Bloody Knife and he gets shot.
35:04 Speaker 01 Where's me bloody knife?
35:04 Speaker 02 What?
35:05 Speaker 01 Where's me bloody knife?
35:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, he gets shot in the head and his head explodes.
35:08 Speaker 01 Right.
35:10 Speaker 02 Uh, all over, all over Reno's face and then Reno panics.
35:14 Speaker 03 Cumshot.
35:19 Speaker 01 So staring at the computer like it's doing work. Cumshot.
35:24 Speaker 02 So is that what Reno said, is it? As, as, so his scouts, his head explodes all over Reno's face and then Reno goes, where's me bloody knife? Gone.
35:33 Speaker 01 Cumshot.
35:34 Speaker 02 Cumshot?
35:36 Speaker 01 Cumshot pops up, yes, sir?
35:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, sorry, cumshot's another scout.
35:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:46 Speaker 02 Where's me bloody knife? Got cumshot, come here. Uh, so he's northern, Marcus Reno.
35:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:52 Speaker 02 Right, so he then completely like panics and he tells his men to like get back on the horses. Then he says, get back off, then he says, get back on again.
36:00 Speaker 01 Right.
36:00 Speaker 02 He's drinking from his hip flask.
36:02 Speaker 01 Right.
36:02 Speaker 03 And get back on the horse.
36:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, get back on the horse.
36:05 Speaker 01 Back on the wagon, off the wagon.
36:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, anyway, he's, he's completely lost it. His bum has completely fallen out. He's covered in his scout's brains. Cumshot's nowhere to be seen. And then.
36:15 Speaker 01 He's struggling with his men's mental health.
36:16 Speaker 02 His men's mental health has collapsed. And at this point, what he needs to do is he needs to take himself off to a quiet corner, listen to a Stephen Bartlett podcast and compose himself.
36:25 Speaker 01 He needs to take himself off and record a Stephen Bartlett podcast. He needs to guest on Stephen Bartlett podcast and work through it live and then come back.
36:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. A two hour conversation with Stephen Bartlett, just to unpack what's just happened.
36:39 Speaker 02 Anyway, he doesn't do that. Instead, he orders a retreat, abandoning wounded soldiers on the battlefield. And suddenly, all the impetus goes to the Indians, who then see this like a buffalo hunt, and they just carry on. So they shoot US soldiers at point blank range, they pull them off horses, they club them to death. Meanwhile, Crazy Horse, Crazy Horse is like, this is all going on, and he's like, he's doing some kind of ritual, and everyone's like, mate, it's started, and he's like,
37:08 Speaker 01 But I'd be doing that to avoid the fighting, because it'd look like I'm doing like, important stuff.
37:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, but you're on the American side.
37:16 Speaker 02 You're in Capri, going,
37:20 Speaker 01 I want people to be like, I have like one of my like, you know, lesser than saying like, let him cook. Trust me, he's working on something.
37:28 Speaker 02 How do you spot a Native American spy?
37:33 Speaker 01 And every one, I'd be like, well, see what happened?
37:38 Speaker 02 That's a very good way of getting out of the fight, actually. You're standing there going,
37:44 Speaker 01 It's embarrassing if you get shot, though, I guess.
37:46 Speaker 02 So Crazy Horse is just going,
37:50 Speaker 02 Meanwhile, so then eventually, he weaves like long stems of grass into his hair.
37:55 Speaker 01 Lads! He's making daisy chains.
37:58 Speaker 02 Come on, come on, come on, get to the bit. Anyway, we need to talk about a story of the only black guy who fought for the Americans, called Isaiah Denton, I want to say. Anyway, he gets knocked off his horse, and breaks his leg. And then Indians come over to him, and they stab him a lot. And then they fucking carve a square of his skin off, and dry it out in the sun, and make like a leather, just like a bit of leather. And then they like carry it around.
38:27 Speaker 01 Is he alive?
38:28 Speaker 02 Isaiah Dorman, that's his name. Does he survive? No, he's fucked. He's completely fucked. Head caved in. This is where the guy gets scalped, but he's still alive, and he's going, and then the young kid, the young kid who's doing it, gets so annoyed that he shoots him.
38:44 Speaker 01 Really?
38:44 Speaker 02 He shoots his face off.
38:45 Speaker 01 What, because he's so loud?
38:46 Speaker 02 The guy's like,
38:47 Speaker 03 He cringes.
38:47 Speaker 02 And he's like, do you mind? I'm trying to scalp you. Yeah.
38:53 Speaker 02 So he shoots him and then he can carry on scalping him.
38:56 Speaker 01 I'd hate to be scalping.
38:58 Speaker 02 It's really, it's gnarly, this stuff. And it's not that long ago.
39:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:01 Speaker 02 I mean, I feel very lucky that we're not alive then.
39:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:05 Speaker 02 After retreating across the river, drunk Reno, who's covered in cum shot.
39:12 Speaker 01 In bloody knives.
39:13 Speaker 02 Bloody knives cum shot. Right. He meets up with Benteen and the pair discuss what to do next. And they get this infamous note from Custer, who's on the other side of the river or somewhere. I never really understand the topography. So.
39:27 Speaker 01 There's a river that goes like this. Little big horn's here and there's other people there. So it's just.
39:32 Speaker 02 Brilliant. You've done it. Smashed it.
39:33 Speaker 01 There's a river there.
39:34 Speaker 02 If you're listening, if you're listening just other than just fucking, imagine a big river. Imagine, imagine the Thames and what Custer's at Blackfriars and the village is in what?
39:43 Speaker 01 South Bank.
39:44 Speaker 02 South Bank. And then Reno's, I don't know, fucking Charing Cross.
39:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:51 Speaker 02 Who cares? Anyway, he gets a note from Custer. It says, Benteen, come on, big village. Be quick. Bring packs. P S. Bring packs.
40:01 Speaker 01 That's like that ape when he's learning just, you know, me eat oranges, oranges eat now, eat, eat, eat. You know, Nymchimsky.
40:07 Speaker 02 So what, what he needs is he needs ammunition because he's like, there's loads of them. It's a hunt. It's like a crap shoot. We're gonna have a great turkey shoot or whatever. So the pair ignore the order though, or rather the order's unclear. Is it saying, come on, big village? Or is it saying, bring ammunition?
40:22 Speaker 01 Come on the big village.
40:23 Speaker 02 Don't come on the village. Guys, let's wank on the village. Cum shot's dead. We've got to just in the village. So they, what they do is they ignore the first part of the order and they maintain their positions on the hill. And they're waiting for the ammunition to arrive, which is like on mules and donkeys and it's way far away.
40:39 Speaker 01 Communications. I guess they don't have any sort of radio or anything.
40:42 Speaker 02 No, but they have an Italian man who doesn't speak English.
40:45 Speaker 01 That's good. That'll do.
40:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's great. So they're like, what, what, what does Custer want? He's like, I'm so sorry. It's so, it's so fucking hot, man.
40:52 Speaker 01 I'm so horny.
40:52 Speaker 02 He's so horny and hot. Mama.
40:54 Speaker 01 I'm so horny.
40:56 Speaker 02 Who am I meant to kiss with no mama around? I need to kiss someone on mouth. So anyway, they hear.
41:02 Speaker 01 They've got Gino Di Campo, basically.
41:03 Speaker 02 Gino Di Campo is causing havoc in between the lines. He is not a good adjutant.
41:09 Speaker 01 No.
41:10 Speaker 02 They can hear heavy gunfire coming from Custer's position in the north. Now, no one knows what happens over there, right? But this is, we're telling the story from Reno's side.
41:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:19 Speaker 02 So at around 5pm, Captain Weir moves out from the defensive position to contact Custer. Right? So he, then that's where he sees 18,000 lodgers. That's when he sees how big the fucking village is. So through a spyglass, which is like an old telescope, he sees warriors killing wounded soldiers and shooting dead bodies where Custer should have been.
41:41 Speaker 01 Right.
41:42 Speaker 02 So then, Bentine and Reno begin to fall back. And it's like, from what I gathered, they're, they're kind of trying to scramble up this sort of eight-foot bank.
41:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:53 Speaker 02 Away from the river.
41:54 Speaker 01 For the last stand.
41:55 Speaker 02 And the river's just filling up with bodies. And the, the Native Americans are just galloping in and.
42:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:01 Speaker 02 And, oh, oh.
42:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, I like bard.
42:04 Speaker 02 I like bard, they're firing their guns in the air and. So they, they set up a skirmish line to keep off the warriors until nightfall. And then, once night fell, the troops are able to retreat even further to wait for reinforcements. So Bentine and Reno, they get out just about, but they fall back. But they've.
42:23 Speaker 01 So they hold, they managed to hold off?
42:24 Speaker 02 Just about, but they could be, they'd been massacred, you know, massacres of troops. So we get to what happened on Custer's infamous last stand. And the truth is, no one knows. Because literally everyone that was with him was killed.
42:40 Speaker 01 Right.
42:41 Speaker 02 Uh, now, obviously, there are Native American witnesses, but they're compromised.
42:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, Big Sky.
42:47 Speaker 02 Big Sky was there.
42:48 Speaker 01 Lots of grass.
42:50 Speaker 03 Big Sky at night.
42:51 Speaker 02 Big Sky at night was there, Sitting on Cock was there.
42:55 Speaker 01 I just don't know how, with them telling the story.
42:57 Speaker 02 How old is your daughter was there? You know, so, uh, Red Horse, who was there, he says that Custer made five different stands.
43:08 Speaker 02 About 10 minutes each and the survivors of each clash came back to Custer and causing command to sort of collapse in on itself.
43:15 Speaker 01 Right.
43:15 Speaker 02 And so it ended with Custer being killed and all his men when they were caught running from the hill towards the river. So this says that in his telling, Custer's running away.
43:27 Speaker 01 Right.
43:28 Speaker 02 And he's being like shot in the back and stuff.
43:29 Speaker 01 From the river to the hill.
43:30 Speaker 02 From the river to the hill, from the barracks to the bin. So the fighting was so chaotic that no one really, uh, no one really was shooting their weapons properly. Um, and it was all hand to hand combat.
43:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:42 Speaker 02 So they couldn't like load and aim their weapons. Uh, there were the suicide boys, Wolf Tooth. Uh, he said that they dramatically altered the fight.
43:51 Speaker 01 Well, he would, wouldn't he?
43:52 Speaker 02 Uh, and they began the hand to hand combat. And if they hadn't started the close proximity fighting, the American soldiers would have stayed in an organised formation and kept reloading. Like this, like in Zulu where they're like doing volley fire.
44:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:03 Speaker 02 You know, which really fucking fires me up.
44:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:05 Speaker 02 Uh, it's thought that the Custard companies had put up a long fight, but the truth is, we don't really know.
44:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:13 Speaker 02 They, it could have been, they were completely squashed.
44:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:16 Speaker 02 And some Native Americans are like, oh yeah, we just, it took 10 minutes and they're all fucking dead. But, uh, that's not what the Americans want.
44:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:23 Speaker 02 They've mythologised this to fuck.
44:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, and yeah.
44:26 Speaker 02 In the way that we have at Rorke's Drift, except we actually won Rorke's Drift.
44:31 Speaker 01 Importantly.
44:32 Speaker 02 Importantly. Um, so around 40 men are cornered on Custer's Hill, what's now called Custer's Hill, surrounded by hundreds of warriors. Some try to escape, they're killed or they're pulled from their horses. And once the warriors make it to the top of the hill, they kill the last of Custer's men. And with no backup from Renault or Benteen, the Battle of Little Big Horn is, uh, ends.
44:56 Speaker 01 It's probably more General Gordon than Rorke's Drift a little bit.
44:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, it is General Gordon.
45:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:00 Speaker 02 Uh, except, yeah, I suppose in the way that Gordon.
45:04 Speaker 01 The last stand.
45:05 Speaker 02 Yeah. Gordon could have been saved by Walsley if he'd got there quick enough.
45:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:10 Speaker 02 But, uh, wasn't.
45:11 Speaker 01 Yeah. And they both have iconic paintings of their last stands.
45:14 Speaker 02 Yes. And Reno and Benteen, uh, just sort of were pinned and didn't fucking go and help him. Uh, so we need to, now they don't mutilate Custer.
45:25 Speaker 01 I thought they scalped him.
45:27 Speaker 02 I don't think they do. I think they don't identify who he is. They fuck up his brother.
45:32 Speaker 01 Right.
45:33 Speaker 02 I think maybe they think his brother is dead, is mutilated. And this thought that maybe it wasn't mutilated because he'd had that relationship with Mona Sittar.
45:44 Speaker 01 Right.
45:45 Speaker 02 The woman he'd met.
45:46 Speaker 01 Cause he's got a Native American side piece.
45:48 Speaker 02 So how does Custer die? He has died, he has one gunshot wound in the chest and one to the temple. Some accounts indicate Native American, more or less stripped and mutilated, many of the bodies except Custer's. Possibly because he was not recognised or because he'd just cut his long hair. So actually he'd cut his hair. So this is actually very sad.
46:07 Speaker 01 Samson?
46:08 Speaker 02 Yes, exactly.
46:09 Speaker 01 Well, he was starting to go bald, which is interesting.
46:12 Speaker 02 If you look, get photos of him up, he, it was a pretty, a pretty awful haircut.
46:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, by the end, but I think he had long, luscious gold hair and it was starting to retreat. Much like Reno.
46:23 Speaker 02 Yes.
46:23 Speaker 01 Up his head. And I think that you can just see that the pow was probably in the hair.
46:28 Speaker 02 But now that's, I mean, that's what people look like nowadays. The mullet, the mullet and the tash has come back now.
46:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:33 Speaker 02 The, the balding mullet is now in fashion once again.
46:37 Speaker 01 And that is, yeah, that's hackneyed all over right there.
46:39 Speaker 02 Yeah. It's funny though, it just is always cyclical, isn't it?
46:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:42 Speaker 02 History, haircuts.
46:44 Speaker 01 Do you think maybe dreadlocks will come back in for white people?
46:46 Speaker 02 I'm sure they will. I know, I, you know.
46:48 Speaker 01 Would you ever get dreadlocks?
46:49 Speaker 02 No.
46:52 Speaker 01 I think you should.
46:53 Speaker 02 Hey?
46:53 Speaker 01 I think you'd, I think it'd be awesome if you didn't change anything about your personality.
46:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
46:57 Speaker 01 But just committed to dreadlocks.
46:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, but you say this about, you want me to be trans with dreadlocks, don't you? But the same.
47:03 Speaker 01 No, but I want you to be exactly the same.
47:04 Speaker 02 You want me to be exactly the same, but trans and with dreadlocks.
47:07 Speaker 01 I want you to say, I want you to say all the stuff you're saying, oh bloody hell, pull yourself together.
47:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I've got dreadlocks.
47:13 Speaker 01 You've got this fucking massive.
47:14 Speaker 02 Well, I'm single-handedly making dreadlocks a conservative haircut.
47:16 Speaker 01 We've got to stop the vote.
47:17 Speaker 02 Come stop the votes. Come on. These, these hippies, these hippies and their squats are ruining our town centres and I've just got, I've just got full dreadlocks.
47:26 Speaker 01 You're a store Britain candidate.
47:28 Speaker 02 With dreadlocks.
47:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:32 Speaker 02 It'd be interesting to see.
47:33 Speaker 01 It would be interesting, undeniably.
47:35 Speaker 02 But I think everything is coming, you know, I think mutton chops will come back at some point.
47:39 Speaker 01 I mean, they had their moment in the early 2010s, I thought.
47:41 Speaker 02 Do you think?
47:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, during the kind of Mumford Sun smacking a, you know, that was all a bit mutton choppy.
47:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was a bit mutton choppy, yeah.
47:47 Speaker 01 Waistcoats and all that sort of stuff.
47:49 Speaker 02 Bollocks.
47:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:52 Speaker 01 He says with the bollocks. White bollocks.
47:55 Speaker 02 White bollocks.
47:58 Speaker 02 Reno and Benteen are pinned in their defensive positions until the morning of the 26th of June. And the Native Americans, they move out of Little Big Horn before more American troops can arrive. John Terry arrives and finds Reno, Benteen and the surviving soldiers. And they go and survey the battlefield and they try to find Custer, who they think is still alive. And then Custer is found with a bullet hole in his chest and in his skull and his brothers. And it's been theorised that the shot to the skull was assisted suicide.
48:27 Speaker 01 So it was a mental health thing?
48:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, he went, again, he needed Stephen Bartlett.
48:33 Speaker 01 It was social anxiety.
48:34 Speaker 02 Yes, it was. It was very, very sad.
48:38 Speaker 02 You never know what someone's going through, do you? You know, on the outside.
48:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, generally it looks like everything's going so great.
48:45 Speaker 02 He's doing what he loved. He's chasing down a horde of Indians.
48:47 Speaker 01 He has a great career.
48:49 Speaker 02 And then, but you know, it's tough at the top, isn't it?
48:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's like when you find Robert Williams killed himself, it's like, fuck.
48:54 Speaker 02 Fuck, if he's killing himself, you know what I mean? If you've been affected by any of the issues in this episode.
48:59 Speaker 01 You know, Native America's trying to scalp you.
49:01 Speaker 02 Or mental health, you know, whichever, then, then just deal with it, actually.
49:05 Speaker 01 Deal with it, we don't want to hear about it.
49:06 Speaker 02 Fucking grow up.
49:08 Speaker 01 I'm still imagining you in Deadlock.
49:10 Speaker 02 That would be so great if after an episode of Hollyoaks or whatever, if you've been affected by any of the issues, like domestic violence, just fucking leave him, would you?
49:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, just grow up.
49:18 Speaker 02 Just grow up.
49:19 Speaker 01 None of our business.
49:20 Speaker 02 Punch back, who cares?
49:24 Speaker 02 Punch back, who cares? That's the name of my charity. So it is believed that Custer is either killed early on or in a final stand, right? So we just, we just don't know.
49:35 Speaker 01 We can't know.
49:36 Speaker 02 We can't know, but, well, we can listen to the Native Americans, but who, fuck it, no one knows what they're saying. No one knows what they're saying.
49:43 Speaker 01 There's no consistency.
49:43 Speaker 02 It's Gobbledygook.
49:45 Speaker 01 What, Gobbledygook?
49:46 Speaker 02 Gobbledygook is another scout. It was Little Black Kettle, cum shot, Gobbledygook and Bloody Knife. Where's me bloody knife?
49:56 Speaker 02 Now, custard soldiers are found in various arrays of mutilation. Naked.
50:02 Speaker 01 It's all performance art.
50:03 Speaker 02 Yes.
50:04 Speaker 01 Sort of the way it's arranged. Yeah, arranged.
50:06 Speaker 02 Let's deal with this now. This is Red Horse. This is his drawings, which we've got up on the screen. And so he's like-
50:13 Speaker 01 Very warrior, not the best drawer.
50:14 Speaker 02 No. Now, you know, our researcher was quite excited when she found this. Well, brilliant, primary source and evidence of what's happened. And you're zooming it, and I don't think he can draw horses, which is the, I mean, it's sort of-
50:28 Speaker 01 What's the story that's been told there? That on retreat?
50:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, horses. Some people have fallen off their horses.
50:34 Speaker 01 And loads of horses dead.
50:35 Speaker 02 I mean, this is stuff like, to be honest, if I'm being really honest about this, this quality of artwork, it's not even going on my fridge. And my fridge has got some absolute shit on it.
50:45 Speaker 01 Has it?
50:46 Speaker 02 Oh.
50:46 Speaker 01 So when you're creating the art in your fridge, this doesn't make the cut?
50:50 Speaker 02 No, so the bin in our kitchen is right by our fridge. And maybe once a week, my son or my daughter will come back and they're like, "Oh, Daddy, look!" And it's some drawing they've done at nursery.
50:59 Speaker 01 Right.
50:59 Speaker 02 And I'd say maybe nine out of 10 times, "Oh, great!" They turn around, "Bin."
51:04 Speaker 01 Bin, they don't realise.
51:05 Speaker 02 Nah, there it is.
51:06 Speaker 01 But then what's the, occasionally you like?
51:09 Speaker 02 Oh, that is quite good, actually.
51:10 Speaker 01 That's pretty fucking good.
51:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:12 Speaker 01 That does it like a house.
51:13 Speaker 02 Yeah. Or they've tried to draw like Mummy or Dad, and they've, you know, and it's colourful and it's clearly-
51:18 Speaker 01 And if they see, yeah, they give you a drawing of yourself and you say, "Chop that in the fucking bin."
51:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, I wonder what psychological damage I'm doing. Do better.
51:25 Speaker 01 Don't ever depict me. I'm like the Prophet Muhammad. How dare you?
51:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
51:31 Speaker 01 Well, if they depicted Prophet Muhammad, that probably-
51:32 Speaker 02 Oh, that's on the fridge. Sorry. My fridge is entirely photos of the Prophet Muhammad, pictures that they've drawn. Okay? But they don't know.
51:40 Speaker 01 They don't know. They're ignorant.
51:41 Speaker 02 Anyway, if you're listening, we're currently looking at pictures of the Prophet Muhammad's. No, we're not. We're not.
51:47 Speaker 01 We're not.
51:48 Speaker 02 We're shut out.
51:49 Speaker 01 We're not.
51:50 Speaker 02 We're looking at drawings that Red Horse made from the Battle of Little Big Horn. There's, I mean, there's dead horse, there's dead, are those dead bodies?
51:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
52:00 Speaker 02 And then-
52:00 Speaker 01 And they've all got the same, they've all got beards.
52:02 Speaker 02 And he's drawn like red lines.
52:03 Speaker 03 They look like little mermaids.
52:04 Speaker 02 They do look like mermaids, yeah. He's drawn their blue trousers, but they haven't got any arms. Now, is that because they've cut their arms off? Yeah, it is, okay. And they, oh, and the red is the scalps. Oh, you know what?
52:15 Speaker 01 It looks like Charlie's Weekend.
52:16 Speaker 02 I'm getting, I'm getting more into this, actually. I'm getting more, you know, I'm, I'm famously find art quite difficult to appreciate.
52:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
52:25 Speaker 02 But I'm actually.
52:25 Speaker 01 You've got quite a literal interpretation.
52:27 Speaker 02 I'm a very literal man. You know, I mean what I say famously. But this is, yeah, I'm, I'm getting, uh, so he's got three colors. He's got black, blue and red.
52:38 Speaker 01 Right.
52:38 Speaker 02 And, um, I'm getting a sense, yeah, I guess the red is all the scalps that have come off. The heads, the sort of arms going away.
52:47 Speaker 01 It's more, yeah, I don't know if it, there's not much of like artistic wider meaning. It's trying to. Yeah, lots of people, lots of people got fucking shot in the head.
52:55 Speaker 02 So it's, uh, so that's a primary source for the battle, which as we say, is essentially a toddler's glued some pasta shapes to a bit of cardboard.
53:04 Speaker 01 But I guess the fact that he's chopping people's heads off, him drawing the head, people's heads being chopped off, that, that kind of adds an element to it as well.
53:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, I suppose so. Uh, and just to reiterate, that's because they believe that if you were mutilated, the body you were killed in was the body you would spend eternity with.
53:18 Speaker 01 So you're kind of, is it sort of like heaven will be filled with lots of Stephen Hawkins without the chair?
53:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:23 Speaker 01 Cause they've been so fucked up.
53:25 Speaker 02 But also.
53:25 Speaker 01 And so like for eternity.
53:26 Speaker 02 It would also mean that, um, fucking, what's his name? Bill Carradine would be in eternity like.
53:34 Speaker 01 What the eternal come?
53:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, he would be.
53:36 Speaker 01 That guy who comes every 10 seconds.
53:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's, that's Carradine in the afterlife has got a belt around his neck and an orange in his mouth. He's like. And that's the body you die in is the way you spend eternity.
53:48 Speaker 01 Do they have kids? Cause what happens when they die and they go meet him?
53:51 Speaker 02 Dad, oh.
53:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, they're just like, oh, you know, I just want to be reunited with.
53:58 Speaker 00 Now more than ever, we need someone on our side, but Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
54:27 Speaker 02 My husband, my, my dad.
54:30 Speaker 01 Finally, I'm not alone. I'm going up to meet him.
54:33 Speaker 02 Christ. I just, I do think that, I just think you can't. It can't be worth it.
54:39 Speaker 01 No. It might be.
54:41 Speaker 02 Well, who knows? I guess, yeah, you're right.
54:43 Speaker 01 You know, he's a frontiersman.
54:46 Speaker 02 The front, yes, he is.
54:47 Speaker 01 He's on a frontier or something.
54:49 Speaker 02 Yep, frontier of his own neck. So, uh, I think we should probably leave this episode here. The, the Battle of Little Big Horn has been, uh, it's a massacre.
54:59 Speaker 01 Yep, Little Big Horny.
55:00 Speaker 02 It is.
55:01 Speaker 03 That's like a new rapper.
55:02 Speaker 02 Little Big Horn.
55:03 Speaker 01 Little Big Horny.
55:03 Speaker 03 Little Big Horny.
55:04 Speaker 02 So the Custer is dead. Uh, the Native Americans have won an astonishing battle.
55:10 Speaker 01 Yep.
55:10 Speaker 02 Uh, however, it's a bit like when Wigan won the FA Cup. Uh, where are they now? League One?
55:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:18 Speaker 02 Uh, in our next episode and final episode of this series, we will deal with the aftermath. The Americans have got a bloody nose.
55:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:24 Speaker 02 What do they do when they get a bloody nose?
55:25 Speaker 01 Where's my bloody nose?
55:26 Speaker 02 Where's my bloody nose? They, they go hard.
55:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:30 Speaker 02 All right. Uh, the next episode is the long road to.
55:33 Speaker 01 It's not a feel-good app.
55:34 Speaker 02 Afghanistan. No, it's not. Again, it's like you're playing Cowboys and Indians on the floor.
55:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:38 Speaker 02 And, uh, it turn, it turn, yeah.
55:40 Speaker 01 It turns out it's Germans and Jews.
55:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, it is Germans and Jews. Um, anyway, Hitler does come into the story. Look at that. Somehow. Somehow. How's he got it in from there? Roberto Carlos, round the wall. How's he done that? Uh, if you'd like to hear that episode now, it's already on our Patreon. Uh, where for three pounds a month, and it is three pounds a month, you have to go to the website on a computer. Then you sign up, then you download the Apple Store and you log in. Sign up on the website, not the app. Anyway, next episode's there and, uh, we're also doing the history of Mormonism.
56:12 Speaker 01 Hmm, that's great fun.
56:13 Speaker 02 That is great fun.
56:14 Speaker 01 Really, really stupid stuff.
56:16 Speaker 02 Really, I mean, what on earth?
56:18 Speaker 01 I mean, thicko.
56:18 Speaker 02 They're fucking thick as shit.
56:19 Speaker 01 Real thicko shit.
56:20 Speaker 02 Real thicko. They're so thick that it's true, it turns out.
56:24 Speaker 01 Apparently.
56:25 Speaker 02 Apparently. Anyway, sign up to the Patreon and if not, we'll see you on Thursday for the conclusion of our epic American Indian series.
56:33 Speaker 01 Wow.
56:33 Speaker 02 Goodbye.
Previous The Ballad of Four Eyes, Never Full and Throwing Poo | The Battle of Little Big Horn (Part 2/4) Next Going Back In Time To Smush Hitler’s Cheeks | The Battle of Little Big Horn (Part 4/4 Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated