Pod Insights Dumb Blonde Skylar Grey: Eminem & Being Hit on by a Coroner?? About this episode Bunnie Xo sits down with Skylar Grey… and this one goes deeper than expected, From almost walking away from music to working with Eminem and Dr. Dre, Skylar opens up about the pressure, the hate, and the reality behind success.
Her new album Wasted Potential (May 22) is her most personal yet touching on childhood, growth, and the parts of her story she’s never fully shared. But then the convo shifts. She reveals her newest project “Fawn” an AI designed to help people process emotions. Bunnie is shook, and things get real about AI, creativity, and where all of this is headed.
Music, healing, technology… and a lot of truth.
Skylar Grey: Website https://skylargreymusic.com/, IG https://www.instagram.com/skylargrey/, YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRdVg6Xj_Az9YOsqDzLRbtA
Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod
Transcript 14,009 words · 5 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:11 Speaker 00 Is this thing on?
0:12 Bunnie XO? What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Today, we have the voice behind the feelings you couldn't put into words and the pen behind some of the biggest songs ever written. Ms. Skylar Gray is in the house.
0:24 Speaker 00 What's up?
0:25 Bunnie XO? How are you, baby?
0:26 Speaker 00 I'm doing great.
0:27 Bunnie XO? I'm so happy to have you here. So, like I was telling you before we were rolling, I learned so much about you yesterday that I did not know. Like, I knew that you had sang, like, "I Need a Doctor" with Dr. Dre, because I grew up in that era. But I had no idea the depths of the songs that you had written. And I wanted to tell you a funny story is that I heard you talk about the song "Gangster" that Kalani originally, or that you originally sang, but then Kalani replaced. And we'll talk about that later. But that was Jay and I's wedding song.
1:00 Speaker 00 No way.
1:01 Bunnie XO? Is that not crazy?
1:02 Speaker 00 That's amazing.
1:03 Bunnie XO? I had no idea. Dude, and when I found out that you had wrote that song, I was just like, this is insane. Like, it's just everything always comes, like, full circle.
1:10 Speaker 00 It really does.
1:11 Bunnie XO? Yeah. How are you?
1:13 Speaker 00 That's awesome.
1:14 Bunnie XO? Thank you.
1:15 Speaker 00 Yeah, everything's great.
1:17 Bunnie XO? So, you're in Nashville?
1:19 Speaker 00 I'm in Nashville for a couple of days, doing some podcasts. You know, I have an album coming out soon, so, you know, starting the whole promo.
1:25 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I've been, I've been watching you on Instagram, and you have been having some of the, the, like, most artistic reels, but they're actually, like, going viral and stuff. Where did you get the idea to start doing all of that?
1:37 Speaker 00 I mean, it's just, the landscape of the music industry's changed so much over the years. I've seen it in so many different forms. You know, music videos are pretty much dead now.
1:47 Bunnie XO? I swear, and they just, like, turned off frickin' MTV.
1:51 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:51 Bunnie XO? Like, what the hell?
1:53 Speaker 00 I know, it's crazy, it's sad. I loved MTV.
1:55 Bunnie XO? It's fucking depressing.
1:56 Speaker 00 And I loved music videos, but, you know, you have to adapt to the world we're in. And so, it just didn't make sense to spend a bunch of money doing music videos. It made more sense to do small, short clips. But, you know, I still try to make them look music video-esque.
2:11 Bunnie XO? No, they're great, I love them.
2:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, and the ones that have gone viral, it's funny, they're... Getting a lot of hate for some of them, but I love it. I actually, I like, think it's hilarious. I used to get so affected by it, but now I'm like, this is awesome.
2:27 Bunnie XO? That's the climate of our world right now, though. Like, Chris Olsen, I don't know if you follow him, but he's a creator LGBTQ. Did I say that right? I always say that wrong.
2:37 Speaker 00 They're always adding another letter, so I never know.
2:39 Bunnie XO? So I never know. So please don't come for me if I say it the wrong way, but he's a creator and he made a video the other day about how mean the world is and how mean comments are under posts, because Meghan Trainor had just canceled her tour. He had to turn off the comments on that post because they were so mean and so hateful and it like proved his point. So it doesn't matter if you do something amazing online, or if you do something that's really fucking cool. People are just like an echo chamber of negativity and that's exactly what it is.
3:08 Speaker 00 Yeah, but I see this, I see the negative comments. If you're causing that much of a reaction negatively, you're also causing that much of a reaction positively for the people who connect with it. So I actually see it as a sign that like it's doing well. Obviously to a, to a point, you know, there's some things that you don't want to do and, but.
3:31 Bunnie XO? I love that you're able to look at it that way because some people can't. Some people would internalize that hatred and be like, damn, you know?
3:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, but the polarizing stuff is like what makes people passionate about it. Either passionately hateful or passionately obsessed with it. So yeah, to me, it's a, it's a good sign.
3:47 Bunnie XO? I love that. So let's talk about some of these songs that you've written because I know that people who know who you are probably know the songs that I said, but there was another song that I found out that you sang that I absolutely, that you had written, I'm sorry, but Christina Aguilera actually sang the hook, was Castle Walls. Not many people know that song, but that was like one of my favorite songs back in the day. And then when I started putting it together, like you have such haunting lyrics, even when you're not singing them. It's, it's crazy, haunting in a good way, you know, it's like those, those words, it's, it's like those lyrics that kind of like just resonate and linger in your soul and that you just, they just hit something in your soul each time you hear them.
4:30 Speaker 00 Thank you. I mean, I never set out to write songs for other artists, so I always have written from a, you know, very honest place. So even those hooks that I ended up giving to other people. You know, I was just writing for myself.
4:44 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
4:44 Speaker 00 And then it got handed off. It wasn't like, I'm gonna sit down and write a song for Christina Aguilera.
4:49 Bunnie XO? Right. I've heard you say numerous times also on podcasts that you never set out to write for other people. And I found that really interesting because that's essentially kind of what your career has turned into because you are such an amazing songwriter. My husband thinks you're one of the best of our generation right now. He wanted me to tell you that when he found out that you're coming on today. How does somebody who did not set out to do that become that?
5:17 Speaker 00 I mean, it kind of happened by accident. So I, you know, just long story short, dropped out of high school when I was 17, moved to LA.
5:24 Bunnie XO? Oh, we're not gonna do a long story short, man. We're gonna get into it.
5:28 Speaker 00 Just for this answer quickly. You know, I had a record deal. It all fell apart and I moved to a cabin in the woods, disappeared from the industry for a while because it had like broken me. And then while I was in the woods in Oregon by myself, got connected with this producer over email named Alex the Kid. And I just, you know, I got internet in the local cafe because I didn't have it at my place. And so I was like sitting in the cafe with my headphones on, listening to the beat and like humming quietly into the computer. And then I just like wrote the hook for Love the Way You Lie and sent it back.
6:11 Speaker 00 Super rough. And yeah, I just wrote what I felt. I didn't really like think hard about it. It was like 15 minutes of work. And then it was a number one song a month later. And so, but what happened was like, I never wrote that thinking like this is gonna go to Rihanna. Like Rihanna's gonna sing this hook. It's just Eminem took the song and he wanted to put Rihanna on it. And I wasn't gonna say no.
6:38 Bunnie XO? Right.
6:38 Speaker 00 You know what I mean? But that's kind of what started the whole. Writing songs for other people thing.
6:44 Bunnie XO? So let's circle back because we're gonna come, we're gonna revisit that story that you just told me too, because "Love the Way You Lie," I was going through a domestic violence relationship whenever that song hit. And oh my God, it was my anthem, that one and the friggin' part two. Just amazing, amazing, amazing lyrics. But let's circle back to your childhood and growing up. I, you, I heard you say that you had a duo with your mom at six years old. So did you grow up in a musical family, obviously?
7:13 Speaker 00 Very, yeah.
7:13 Bunnie XO? Tell me about it.
7:16 Speaker 00 My dad was in a barbershop quartet. My mom was a folk musician and Celtic harpist. She actually still is. She like busks and plays in restaurants and stuff.
7:27 Bunnie XO? That's so beautiful.
7:28 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:29 Bunnie XO? To play the friggin' harp, dude. I would cry probably if I heard somebody just strumming the harp.
7:33 Speaker 00 It's so beautiful.
7:36 Speaker 00 She plays like every instrument, though. And so just growing up in that environment, I was really sucked into it. Obviously, it was in my blood. When I was three, they noticed, like I was singing, we were, we were all singing "Happy Birthday" to my aunt. And I was like, can I sing a harmony? And they were like, at three?
7:55 Bunnie XO? At three?
7:55 Speaker 00 Like, and then I did, and I fully sang the harmony. And they were like, this is crazy. At three to sing a harmony. And so it was very obvious early on that like, music was gonna be my thing. So my parents were like, let's just see what happens if we put her on stage. And did my first gig when I was six with my mom in a library.
8:19 Bunnie XO? Oh my goodness, that is so cute.
8:21 Speaker 00 It was a Mother's Day show.
8:23 Bunnie XO? What was the duo's name?
8:25 Speaker 00 Generations.
8:26 Bunnie XO? Generations, I love that.
8:27 Speaker 00 Yeah. We made three albums together, I think.
8:31 Bunnie XO? Oh, at, starting at the age of six?
8:33 Speaker 00 Uh, yeah, I think the first album came out when I was eight.
8:36 Bunnie XO? Wow.
8:37 Speaker 00 And then-
8:38 Bunnie XO? So did you grow up with like a studio in your house?
8:40 Speaker 00 No, no, no, because back then, we didn't have computers running it. So it was on tape.
8:45 Bunnie XO? Okay.
8:46 Speaker 00 So you had to go to a studio and there was no autotune. There was no like-
8:50 Bunnie XO? You had to actually be a real musician.
8:51 Speaker 00 Yeah.
8:52 Bunnie XO? Unlike now.
8:54 Speaker 00 So it was cool. Like I've experienced all that. And then, you know, the computers coming into the into the equation and all the other tools that have come along with it. Now there's AI.
9:06 Bunnie XO? So take me back, take me back to writing your first album. Obviously you had to been like, what, seven before it to come out at eight? What was that process like as a seven year old? Did you grasp what was happening? Did you like, understand it fully? Or were you just like, hey, I'm singing with mom?
9:22 Speaker 00 I grasped it. Yeah. Yeah, I fully understood. And I mean, I learned a lot of hard lessons back then, too. Mostly about performing because I was always really hard on myself. I still am.
9:37 Bunnie XO? You are. I've noticed that about you.
9:39 Speaker 00 And so, you know, the first few shows we did, if I sang one wrong note, I would have a tantrum after the show and be like, I suck. You know, and nobody cared, obviously. Nobody probably even heard the bad note that I sang. But I like would beat myself up about it. And so my mom like came up with this thing to tell me, and I still use it to this day. She said, you know, when you're on stage or when you're in, like even after the show, when people are trying to come talk to you and stuff, you you have to like, treat it like,
10:11 Speaker 00 you know, anytime you're away from those environments, you can have your tantrums and whatever. But like, as soon as you're, you know, in the public eye, you turn on the Christmas lights, like you're a Christmas tree. And it's you can be dark when any other time. But like, when you're performing and when you're in front of people, turn on those Christmas lights and just put it on, just turn on the lights. And so I still sometimes use that because like, you know, even doing a podcast, like you have to turn it on, you have to be on, right?
10:40 Bunnie XO? What a great analogy, though.
10:41 Speaker 00 Yeah. And so I still use that when like, okay, if I'm like, feeling really bummed out and I don't want to go on stage, I just remember, okay, just turn on the Christmas lights. Put on the show and then I can be dark later.
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11:44 Speaker 02 Wayfair, every style, every home. Attention all new and existing members of the W D N C. I'm Melanie Sanders and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now, we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog, and bat wings. We are not alone and we will be heard. So come join the W D N C. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.
12:17 Bunnie XO? Where do you think that perfectionism comes from with you?
12:22 Bunnie XO? Because normally it comes from like a place. I know my perfectionism comes from my father, daddy issues that I had because he was a Virgo, so everything had to be perfect, you know? Where do you think yours came from?
12:32 Speaker 00 It's a really good question. I don't actually know because it's just been the way I've been my whole life.
12:36 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
12:37 Speaker 00 You know?
12:37 Bunnie XO? Mm-hmm.
12:38 Speaker 00 I'd have to like really
12:39 Bunnie XO? Yeah, yeah.
12:40 Speaker 00 Do some deep thinking about that.
12:42 Bunnie XO? I always wonder like what makes people like, you know, the way that they are like, because I know I'm always trying to figure myself out too. So at seven, when you're writing this album, what kind of songs are you writing with your mom at seven?
12:54 Speaker 00 So most of the songs we were singing were covers or like friends of ours wrote them. But I was always trying to compose. Like when I started taking piano lessons when I was six and instead of, I didn't ever want to play other people's music. I just wanted to create. So my first piano recital, I played an original piece. I was always just like creating. And so then when I was eight, I wrote my first song with lyrics. It was called "The Same Sky."
13:21 Bunnie XO? Oh, and like your name is Skylar Gray?
13:24 Speaker 00 Yeah, I was, I was in a swimming, swimming pool in Hawaii. My parents were divorced and so I was in the swimming pool in Hawaii with my mom and I was looking up at the moon and I was wondering if my dad could see the same moon I was looking at back in Wisconsin. And so I wrote a song about that. And you can still find that song out there. It's called "The Same Sky."
13:44 Bunnie XO? Oh my goodness. I love that. You've always had such a, an old soul, even as a child to look up at the sky and be like, I wonder if my dad's looking at the same moon as me. You know, like that's really deep for an eight-year-old to even, that's for that to even cross your mind. So the depth is just amazing. So take me on this journey. You and your mom are making albums. Do you guys like go on tour or anything like?
14:07 Speaker 00 We toured around like the Midwest. We didn't go wide with it, but, and it was mostly like elementary schools, libraries, like women's health conventions, super random, like, you know, fairs.
14:20 Bunnie XO? Yeah. What age were you when your parents divorced?
14:24 Speaker 00 Three.
14:25 Bunnie XO? Three, okay, so it happened.
14:25 Speaker 00 So it didn't really affect me emotionally because I was too young to like understand what was going on. And also it was weird in a good way because they were friends.
14:38 Speaker 00 And we had, they had equal custody. So my whole childhood, I spent a week at my mom's, a week at my dad's, like went back and forth, packed a suitcase, walked a mile through the woods to get to the other parent's house. And that's just how my childhood was.
14:51 Bunnie XO? Yeah. Is dad musical?
14:53 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm. Yeah, he was in a barbershop quartet and he sings in church and.
14:56 Bunnie XO? I love that. How does one get in a barbershop quartet? Like what does that consist of? That's like four?
15:01 Speaker 00 They were four, sometimes five. And it's just a cappella. They, just a lot of crazy harmonies. And I think that definitely influenced me too. My use of harmonies for sure.
15:14 Bunnie XO? Yeah. Do you feel like the different versions of yourself live inside your music? So of course, as you're growing from, you know, seven to the woman that you're in now, do you feel like your writing reflects like each different versions of your life?
15:28 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean, I think we're always growing and evolving, but at the core, there's, you know, all of that stuff is still there, you know?
15:41 Bunnie XO? When, when you were traveling with your mom, when did you set off to start doing things on your own?
15:48 Speaker 00 So when I was 12, I bought a baby grand piano.
15:53 Bunnie XO? I just bought one last week. I just bought one last week or three days ago.
15:57 Speaker 00 Awesome. Congrats.
15:58 Bunnie XO? I'm so excited.
16:00 Speaker 00 So I bought this piano with all the money I had made singing with my mom. And that's when I really started like writing a lot of songs. And it was also a time period, you know, being 12, when kids start getting really mean in school and they started making fun of me for singing with my mom and the songs that we were singing, they would like mock me and so it wasn't cool.
16:24 Bunnie XO? It's just because they weren't doing it. They didn't have that relationship with their mom, you know? So it's like kids bully things that they don't understand.
16:31 Speaker 00 Totally. But, you know, it hurt. And I also did like want to start singing different styles of music. I was listening to pop, you know, pop radio and grunge and stuff. And I was like, I don't, I don't want to sing these kids songs anymore.
16:46 Bunnie XO? Well, you were growing up too.
16:47 Speaker 00 Yeah.
16:47 Bunnie XO? It was different.
16:48 Speaker 00 And so I started writing a lot of songs and then I told my mom I wanted to go solo.
16:52 Bunnie XO? How did mom take that?
16:54 Speaker 00 I mean, she was always very supportive, but I could tell that, you know, it bummed her out too.
16:59 Bunnie XO? Yeah. But I mean, I'm sure it was like, she was living a dream vicariously through you also.
17:05 Speaker 00 And it became her career. Performing with me was her career.
17:09 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
17:09 Speaker 00 At that point, so. So yeah, it was hard for her, I think, but she was also super supportive. And I think she knew that was going to happen at some point, you know?
17:20 Bunnie XO? So at 12, you're writing these songs. How do you get out to LA? Cause where, where were you growing up at?
17:27 Speaker 00 Wisconsin.
17:28 Bunnie XO? Wisconsin. So you go from Wisconsin. How do you end up in LA?
17:32 Speaker 00 Well, I started by, when I went solo, I put a band together. And in Madison, Wisconsin, it was mostly jazz musicians. So my whole band was a jazz band, basically. And I was playing jazz clubs and it wasn't really.
17:49 Bunnie XO? Jazz is hard to play, by the way.
17:51 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah.
17:52 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
17:52 Speaker 00 I mean, I wasn't playing. They were playing. I was singing.
17:56 Bunnie XO? But even singing it too is not easy.
17:58 Speaker 00 Yeah. So I wasn't, I wasn't really doing jazz songs per se. I did a few, but um, I was writing my own pop songs.
18:09 Speaker 00 But I, I quickly learned that like, that wasn't the place for me to succeed in the way I wanted to.
18:16 Bunnie XO? Pop music wasn't?
18:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, like in Madison, it just wasn't, you know, I just felt like I needed to get out of there and go to LA and
18:24 Bunnie XO? Spread your wings.
18:25 Speaker 00 Yeah. So, um, and I hated school. I had a really hard time with school. I was, I was a good student, but I just like socially had a really hard time with it.
18:34 Bunnie XO? Were you just like awkward and like
18:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
18:36 Bunnie XO? Just kind of to yourself?
18:37 Speaker 00 I kind of kept to myself. Well, I really tried for a long time to like be part of the, the Mean Girls clique and like tried to find my place, you know, and I just didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I didn't feel accepted in any groups. So I started like sitting alone at lunch and instead of even in the lunchroom, I would take my sandwich to the piano room in the band room and like, sit alone and eat and play the piano.
19:03 Speaker 00 And so then, I asked my parents to homeschool me and they couldn't figure it out. And eventually I just dropped out.
19:11 Bunnie XO? Did you suffer from like anxiety or depression as a child?
19:15 Speaker 00 I definitely had some depression.
19:17 Bunnie XO? Disconnect was?
19:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, it was. I was really, like I had a bout of like anorexia and like, I was just like really self-conscious and.
19:28 Bunnie XO? Do you feel like the pressure of touring with your mom is where you started trying? Cause I say that, that, because I suffered from an eating disorder myself and that's like my way of trying to gain control of my life. Was that way, your way of trying to gain control? Did you not feel like you were?
19:43 Speaker 00 I just wanted people to like me, I think. And so I was like trying anything to like, get people to like me and think I was pretty and you know, all the things.
19:53 Bunnie XO? You're beautiful.
19:54 Speaker 00 Thank you. And so.
19:58 Speaker 00 Um, so yeah, I dealt with some depression and all that stuff. And then I also just like had such a clear vision for myself with my career and I kind of felt like I was wasting my time in school.
20:11 Bunnie XO? Yeah, no, I know that feeling. That's how I was. I could never focus.
20:14 Speaker 00 Like, a lot of people don't know what they want to do at that age, but I did. And so I'm like, what am I doing here? You know?
20:21 Bunnie XO? You're a creative just through and through.
20:23 Speaker 00 Yeah. So last year of high school, my junior year, I didn't finish. I only went to three classes, ceramics and physics and algebra two.
20:38 Bunnie XO? Oh.
20:39 Speaker 00 And because I loved math and science.
20:41 Bunnie XO? Wow.
20:43 Speaker 00 So I just chose to go to those classes and they let me just do those.
20:48 Bunnie XO? But like, she's gonna do whatever she wants anyways. Let's just, at least she's going.
20:52 Speaker 00 But then, uh, something happened where I had a gig and I couldn't do my homework that night because I didn't have enough time to do, you know, two hours of math homework and do my show. Show up the next day at school, ace my test and, but the teacher was like, well, I'm not gonna, this isn't gonna count because you need to do your homework, just like every other kid in this class. And I said, I'm sorry, I couldn't because I had a gig. And she was like, well, music isn't a career. You better rethink this. And
21:28 Bunnie XO? Teachers like that frustrate me.
21:29 Speaker 00 I just left and I never went back.
21:32 Bunnie XO? You never went back to school? You were like, no, fuck this. You're like, I'm gonna use those words as motivation.
21:38 Speaker 00 I'm gonna prove you fucking wrong.
21:39 Bunnie XO? Yes, I love that. I don't love that you dropped out, but I love that. And I don't love that the teacher said that to you. Like, I don't think teachers understand, like, when they say things like that to children. Like, it really either one breaks their spirit or sparks a fire in their soul. And luckily, it sparked a fire in your soul.
21:56 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:57 Bunnie XO? If you're a teacher, please be careful with what you say to students. So.
22:01 Speaker 00 Well, I see it as a blessing because I did, it did spark a fire for me.
22:04 Bunnie XO? Yes, I love that for sure. Um, so take me on this journey. So you didn't go back to school. What do you do?
22:11 Speaker 00 Um, well, I had a bunch of money saved up for college from doing all these shows and stuff.
22:16 Bunnie XO? I love that you were able to save money. That's amazing. That's an amazing trait.
22:20 Speaker 00 I mean, I wouldn't have been able to do it if my parents didn't force me to.
22:22 Bunnie XO? Right, okay.
22:24 Speaker 00 Gotcha. They're like, this is all going in your college savings.
22:26 Bunnie XO? Yeah, because that's the last thing I was thinking about when I ran away from home. My house had, did not have a pot to piss in.
22:32 Speaker 00 So I'm, instead of spending it on college, I took that money to LA to move and to record demos.
22:39 Bunnie XO? Take me on your first, like, year in LA. Was it a frickin' culture shock for you?
22:46 Speaker 00 Oh, huge, massive.
22:46 Bunnie XO? Because I grew up on the West Coast, so that's what I grew up in, but I couldn't imagine coming from Wisconsin.
22:52 Speaker 00 Small town, Wisconsin, fifteen hundred people, and then landing in Venice, LA.
22:57 Bunnie XO? Oh, my gosh. You went straight to Venice.
22:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, the first person I lived with was the guitar player from Culture Club.
23:05 Bunnie XO? Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:07 Speaker 00 Yeah, he had an empty bedroom and just through a mutual friend, like, let me stay there.
23:13 Bunnie XO? That's Boy George's band, right? Or was Boy, yeah, Boy George, I had the biggest crush on Boy George when I was a kid. He was my first love. I had a Boy George Snoopy and everything.
23:22 Speaker 00 Oh.
23:22 Bunnie XO? That is so random. How did you meet him?
23:24 Speaker 00 So random. Um, just through some random, you know, how it is, you meet random people and, and then, uh, but it was a culture shock for sure. A lot of, like,
23:36 Speaker 00 I don't wanna, yeah, I'm not gonna say anything, but a lot of stuff I was exposed to that I hadn't been, um, very quickly. And it was kind of like a dark environment for, for me to be in at seventeen.
23:48 Bunnie XO? You were a baby. So I'm sure people were just, they can always smell when somebody's very green, so I'm sure it was.
23:55 Speaker 00 And then there was like a murder next door and, um, there was like a, a bloody mattress and between the houses and, um, I was just like, where am I? And then this coroner came and we had to ta, they had to tape off caution tape our house and like, keep us there because they needed to question us. Did we hear any screaming?
24:13 Bunnie XO? This is your, your next door neighbor for when you lived with the dude?
24:16 Speaker 00 Living at Roy Hay's house, yeah.
24:18 Bunnie XO? Wow.
24:19 Speaker 00 And the coroner, like, I watched him take the body to the truck and all this stuff and then, and then he came, I was sitting on the front steps of the house because I was like, like, I had to stay at the house until questioning or whatever. And. He came and sat next to me and he started hitting on me like
24:36 Bunnie XO? The coroner did?
24:37 Speaker 00 The coroner was like, he sat next to me and he was like, you're such a beautiful girl. Like, it was so weird. I'm like, where am I?
24:46 Bunnie XO? Oh, my God. Like, you're literally watching somebody get murdered and their body getting taken to the morgue and this man just, like, men just have the worst timing, always. It's never a good time.
24:58 Speaker 00 Well, and I was seventeen and he was like, you know?
25:00 Bunnie XO? Yeah, you're a baby. I could only imagine the things that you had to see. What year was this?
25:07 Speaker 00 Two thousand five, maybe?
25:10 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I was out, I was out there during that time, too. That was a wild time in LA and Vegas. Those were wild times. That was like, I don't know, it was like the fucking Wild West out there. It was really crazy. So I could only imagine the stuff that you had to experience out there.
25:24 Speaker 00 But luckily, some of the producers that I had met and was working with were really nice and they saw the situation I was in and they're like, girl, we gotta get you out of there. And so they let me go stay with them and I, I did kind of like a little couch surfing, you know, route with different producers and stuff. And then I signed my first record deal about a year and a half in.
25:45 Bunnie XO? So tell me how you, cause you signed, you signed it with, you started working with Linkin Park and then you got signed to your record deal?
25:52 Speaker 00 So Linkin Park had a label called Machine Shop under the Warner Brothers umbrella. And we had met through, well, I met some random person in a hallway in a studio. And he was like, you need a lawyer. And so he introduced me to a lawyer and then that lawyer introduced me to a manager.
26:11 Speaker 00 And it was the firm, I don't know if they're still in existence, but the management company, the firm.
26:18 Bunnie XO? I remember them. I remember hearing about them.
26:20 Speaker 00 And I, it's so funny. This is just like a funny little anecdote, but I went and sat in the office to meet with Dan at the firm and he told me, so this whole company was built on corn.
26:34 Speaker 00 And I was thinking from Wisconsin, I was like, I was looking around the room like, wait, it's like the couches are made out of corn, like.
26:40 Bunnie XO? And he's talking about the band.
26:42 Speaker 00 And he was talking about the band, corn. Oh, my gosh. I literally was looking around the room like being like, oh, my God, they built everything here out of corn.
26:51 Bunnie XO? Oh, my God, you sweet baby.
26:53 Speaker 00 I was so naive.
26:55 Bunnie XO? Oh, my gosh. I love that, though. That is the cutest story ever.
26:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, but so Lincoln Park was also managed by the firm and so we got connected that way. And they heard a demo I had recorded and were interested in meeting. And so I used to go to this hotel, which is now the London Hotel. But back then it was the Wyndham Bellage Hotel. And there was a little bar and a piano in the corner. And I would just go in there and play and say, not performing, but just anytime I saw a piano, I would sit down and play. So I would like meet the most random people there. Like Joaquin Phoenix came and sat next to me one time and asked me to show him the chords I was playing. And it was just a crazy, crazy time. But so I said, come down to the Wyndham Bellage.
27:41 Speaker 00 And so the guitar player from Lincoln Park came down and listened to me play a couple of songs for him. And then the next day they offered me a deal.
27:50 Bunnie XO? I love that. And I wanted to tell you, I know you did Where'd You Go with Fort Minor. That was one of my MySpace songs. So it was so crazy how like it just keeps circling back to how you've had an influence in my life indirectly. And I didn't even know it. Like, it was just crazy when I was doing my notes. It was, I used to, because I ran away from home, so Where'd You Go was like my anthem. Because it was like, you know, for me and my parents, that's how I looked at it. But yeah, I just thought that was crazy, crazy little tidbit. So did you get to meet Chester Bennington and all of them? What was your relationship like with Chester?
28:21 Speaker 00 Chester was a beautiful human.
28:24 Bunnie XO? How did his death affect you? Was it shocking for you?
28:27 Speaker 00 I mean, I didn't know him that well, to be honest.
28:33 Speaker 00 But yeah, I mean, that was a hard pill to swallow. He was such a genuine soul and a really good person. He's a fellow Pisces.
28:45 Bunnie XO? So he feels every, he felt everything too?
28:47 Speaker 00 Yeah.
28:48 Bunnie XO? Yeah. So take me on this journey with your first record deal because you signed with them, but then it kind of, you guys had a falling out, which kind of sent you into a different direction.
28:58 Speaker 00 Well, so, yeah, I mean, what happened was Mike Shinoda did a side project called Fort Minor. And he had me come down to the studio one day and sing the hook for Where'd You Go? And I had been manifesting, working in hip hop for so long, ever since I heard Stan by Eminem, when I was like 13. That's something I always wanted to do. Like, I loved the juxtaposition of the soft female vocal with the rap. And so when he asked me to do that song, I was like, so excited. I came down, sang the song, left. I didn't expect it to go like be a billboard charting song, but it blew up. And then I didn't really know how to respond to that.
29:43 Speaker 00 Like, I wasn't prepared for the success of that song. And so I just don't think I was prepared with my own like music. And I didn't know how to follow it up. I didn't know how to like maximize the exposure of that song and like build off of it. I feel like I like rushed my first album out. Like, looking back, I wish I had spent more time. And it's not that I'm not proud of that album.
30:14 Speaker 00 But yeah, like, looking back, I'm like, man, I could have probably done a lot better job if I had just been more patient. But I was like, I don't know, I was frantic about trying to like follow up that success of that song.
30:28 Bunnie XO? You felt like you were probably gonna lose the momentum. I feel like my husband, being an artist, you see that a lot is like when something blows up, there it's like you are like, oh my God, how am I supposed to follow this up? And so I do, my husband, my husband has a saying where he always says, don't let perfection get in the way of good enough. And I've always like, believed that because if we've micro managed like everything and try to be perfect, like something that is good enough and that people are actually going to just devour and love, that might miss that opportunity because we're trying to make it perfect, you know?
31:01 Speaker 00 A hundred percent.
31:02 Bunnie XO? And I've noticed that with you, you're like so hard on yourself. When I was listening to you on other podcasts, I was like, this girl is so fucking talented. And like, I don't even think you realize how special you are. Like you are, there's not very many people like you that can do what you do. So I mean, you need to really.
31:18 Speaker 00 I'm, I'm, I'm trying to learn how to let good enough be okay. You like, let it be good enough instead of being a perfectionist. It's, it's been a problem for me because it takes me about five years to put out an album every time because I'm so, I put so much pressure on myself, like, thinking about like, is this the sound that I want to like, leave the world with, you know, leave my mark on the world with? And so I would just like, put so much pressure. And now I'm at a place where I'm like, I just turned 40 and I'm seeing like.
31:55 Bunnie XO? You look fucking great, by the way.
31:57 Speaker 00 Oh, thank you.
31:58 Bunnie XO? You don't look 40 at all.
31:59 Speaker 00 Thank you. But I'm, you know, like, how much, how many more years do I have left?
32:04 Bunnie XO? Sorry, I'm so sorry. He's old.
32:08 Speaker 00 So cute. I'm like, how many years do I have left in this industry, you know?
32:12 Bunnie XO? With your talent?
32:13 Speaker 00 I can't, but I can't just. Put out an album every five years.
32:17 Bunnie XO? Right.
32:18 Speaker 00 I don't, like, at some point, I'm gonna look back and be like, why didn't I put out more music?
32:22 Bunnie XO? But if you look, whenever you said you wrote, um, Where'd You Go and Love the Way You Lie, you said that you weren't, you didn't think that they were even gonna do anything and you kind of like had no pressure on yourself.
32:31 Speaker 00 Right.
32:32 Bunnie XO? And then like, when you don't have pressure on yourself, look at what you produce.
32:35 Speaker 00 Exactly.
32:35 Bunnie XO? Of course, I'm sure you've done that with multiple other songs too, but that's just those two as an example.
32:40 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
32:40 Bunnie XO? And I think that if you can somehow get into that headspace of not putting so much pressure on yourself, you'll be a little bit more free.
32:46 Speaker 00 And that's what I'm trying to do now. I'm trying to aim for an album a year. And instead of thinking about it, like, this is the sound, this is like, what people are gonna remember me for, whatever. I'm just like, let's just capture this moment in time. Like, what am I into right now musically?
33:02 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
33:03 Speaker 00 Make those songs and then put them out.
33:06 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
33:06 Speaker 00 And then I can make another one next year. And it'll evolve and it'll change and the sound will change and it doesn't have to be that serious.
33:12 Bunnie XO? Mm-hmm.
33:13 Speaker 00 Um, and so that's kind of like mentally where I'm at with it all right now. And it's like, artists are allowed to put out shitty albums.
33:19 Bunnie XO? Yes.
33:20 Speaker 00 You know? And so if I, if one of those zeitgeist I capture on an album is shit, like, it's okay. Just do it. Just keep going, keep putting shit out and don't like, look back and regret not putting out more music.
33:31 Bunnie XO? Amen, sister. My husband said the other day, we were talking about him dropping an album and he's like, as an artist, all we care about is just getting an album out and one song doing great.
33:39 Speaker 00 Yeah.
33:40 Bunnie XO? And I was like, that's really a great way to look at it. It's like, you drop a fifteen song album, but you just hope that that one resonates. And I mean, with your voice and your talent, there's gonna always be that one. You know, I, I know you probably don't believe that, but I mean, look, your, your frickin' track record speaks for itself. Um, a lot of people might not realize this, but you also did Pass Yesterday on my husband's, um, album too, which that is one of my favorite songs. I loved it. When I found out you were getting on it, I was so excited and so getting, and you just crushed it, so.
34:11 Speaker 00 Oh, thank you so much.
34:12 Bunnie XO? If you guys haven't gone and listened to Pass Yesterday, go listen to it, cuz.
34:14 Speaker 00 I was so excited when I got that text.
34:17 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
34:18 Speaker 00 And I was like, it was like twenty-four hour turnaround.
34:21 Bunnie XO? Mm-hmm.
34:22 Speaker 00 Um.
34:23 Bunnie XO? Sounds like my husband.
34:24 Speaker 00 Super fast.
34:26 Speaker 00 And I was like, I gotta lock in. And, uh, so I go to the studio and I'm like, you know, beating my head against the wall, trying to figure it out. And I just, you know, you feel it when you know it's right. And it wasn't feeling right. And I was like, okay, I just need to like, put this down, go to dinner. So after spending like, I don't know, six hours in the studio trying to come up with something, I decided I'm just gonna go to dinner and then I'm gonna, you know, smoke a little weed, have a drink, whatever, and then go back and try again, fresh.
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37:09 Speaker 00 And it like instantly came to me when I went back into the studio. And it was not anything I had started earlier in the day. It was a brand new idea and I was like, okay, this feels right.
37:19 Bunnie XO? It was so good.
37:20 Speaker 00 Thank you.
37:21 Bunnie XO? So, so good. So let's circle back to you ultimately going on this journey. Because up until now, you're Holly Brooks, right? You have your.
37:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, up until.
37:32 Bunnie XO? Which I did not take you for a Holly.
37:35 Speaker 00 Yeah, Holly is my real name. Brooke is my middle name.
37:37 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
37:38 Speaker 00 And I went by that for a while.
37:41 Speaker 00 And then, you know, after the whole Lincoln Park thing and, and putting out Where'd You Go? And my album, my first album that came out was under Holly Brooke.
37:54 Speaker 00 It wasn't very successful and I went broke and I had to leave LA because I couldn't afford it.
38:03 Speaker 00 And so then I moved to this cabin in the woods. And the woods have always been like my safe space because I grew up in the woods. And.
38:09 Bunnie XO? It's where you kind of go back to recharge.
38:11 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's where I go back to find myself again because you can get just so lost in the mix. And I, I'm so affected by people's opinions. And being in LA and just like being surrounded by people's opinions, especially people that I looked up to, experts in the music industry, other songwriters and everything. I felt like I like lost touch with myself musically. And just as a person, like I just, it was the first time in my life I actually questioned what I was doing for a living.
38:41 Speaker 00 Because like ever since I was a little kid, I knew I wanted to do music. And then suddenly when my, my album didn't succeed and I went broke, I was like, okay, maybe I need to rethink all of this. So I just had to get out. Um, I actually worked a few jobs for the first time in my life.
38:57 Bunnie XO? What was the first job?
38:59 Speaker 00 Uh, I worked at Barnes and Noble selling music. I was in the CDs area and I actually sold my own album one day.
39:09 Bunnie XO? And they didn't know it was you?
39:11 Speaker 00 And I didn't tell them.
39:12 Bunnie XO? Oh, my goodness.
39:14 Speaker 00 I was like, this is so embarrassing.
39:16 Bunnie XO? Oh.
39:17 Speaker 00 I'm like, working in Barnes and Noble now, like.
39:20 Bunnie XO? Oh, my gosh. And how did they, how did that person not know it was you? That's crazy.
39:25 Speaker 00 I mean, I looked different.
39:26 Bunnie XO? Oh, yeah.
39:27 Speaker 00 I'd changed everything. I've had so many different hairstyles.
39:31 Bunnie XO? You have. I have. I did notice that when I was researching you. I was like, oh, she's, you're like, you can tell, like, you're always in seasons of your life. And I love that. I've always wanted to be like that and I just can't do it. I have to always stay like the same, but I admire people. And I talk about it all the time. I want to dye my hair black. I want it, but I don't have the balls to do it, but you do. And I really appreciate that in a, in a person because I think that's so cool.
39:53 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's been fun. Um, and I love having a shaved head now. I didn't do that on purpose, though. I had a bleaching accident.
40:00 Bunnie XO? Oh, no.
40:01 Speaker 00 Yeah. Like, my hair just got fried and it was like coming out in clumps in the shower.
40:06 Bunnie XO? Oh, no.
40:07 Speaker 00 My whole body broke out in hives.
40:09 Bunnie XO? Oh, no.
40:10 Speaker 00 I was like cover, I was like, I had a crazy allergic reaction to the bleach and, um, I had always wanted to shave my head, but I'd never had the guts to do it until that moment. I was like, I don't know if I have an option, like, otherwise it's gonna look really bad. So I took it as the opportunity to do it and now I love it.
40:28 Bunnie XO? I love it.
40:29 Speaker 00 I'm rocking it for a while. I'll probably grow it back at some point, but.
40:32 Bunnie XO? I love it. I think it's awesome.
40:34 Speaker 00 But back to the other jobs.
40:36 Bunnie XO? Yes.
40:36 Speaker 00 I think you'll find this interesting. Uh, so the other job, well, one of the other jobs, I taught gymnastics to little kids and they were like peeing all over the mats. And I was like cleaning up pee all the time.
40:47 Bunnie XO? Had you ever done any gymnastics before?
40:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, I grew up doing gymnastics. My, my stepdad was a gym, my gymnastics coach, the time my parents met.
40:54 Bunnie XO? Okay.
40:55 Speaker 00 And I was in high school gymnastics and I coached high school gymnastics.
40:59 Bunnie XO? That's where you get that banging body from.
41:00 Speaker 00 I don't know.
41:03 Speaker 00 So I did that, but then it just became cleaning up pee. So I was over that.
41:10 Bunnie XO? Gymnastics babysitter.
41:11 Speaker 00 And then I responded to this Craigslist ad that said they needed a video editor and I was like, I can do that because I can edit Pro Tools. It can't be that different. And they said they would train. So, okay. So I show up in a suit to this interview and they said, you know, this is adult content, right? And I was like, okay, well, I really need a job. So that's fine, whatever. And so, yeah, I edited porn for like a few weeks. I only lasted a few weeks, though.
41:44 Bunnie XO? Why?
41:44 Speaker 00 Because, but it was really good money, like, because we were paid on how much work we got done. And so it ended up being about like $30 an hour for me, which was like way better than bars and noble.
41:57 Bunnie XO? Right.
42:00 Speaker 00 But what happened was, have you ever heard of this phrase called the Tetris effect?
42:04 Bunnie XO? No, teach me.
42:06 Speaker 00 So like if you are playing Tetris, it's like all these shapes falling, right? If you play it for too long and then you start doing something else, you start hallucinating the Tetris shapes falling.
42:17 Bunnie XO? Wow.
42:19 Speaker 00 And so that was happening to me, but it was like buttholes and.
42:25 Bunnie XO? Because you were like staring at porn all day long.
42:28 Speaker 00 Like in my bedroom, I had a light above the bed that I had taken the light bulb out because it was too bright. And so there was just like a light socket above my bed. And every night when I fell asleep, I was just seeing a gaping butthole.
42:42 Bunnie XO? Oh, no.
42:43 Speaker 00 Like I was like legit hallucinating this. And I was like, this can't be healthy.
42:47 Bunnie XO? No, that can't be healthy. But you know what? That's perspective because you never think about like people on the other side of the porn industry who actually have to edit stuff like their minds are being affected as well.
42:57 Speaker 00 It was a nine to five of just looking at. You know, and it wasn't editing features. It was like taking a feature film and chopping out all the highlights to make like short clips, almost like reels.
43:09 Bunnie XO? Gotcha.
43:10 Speaker 00 Making short clips of the highlights. So like the come shots and the, you know, like all, and then I had to learn all the terminology because we had to tag it all, like with what search words people would use to find that.
43:22 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
43:23 Speaker 00 That, you know, gangbang, like whatever.
43:26 Bunnie XO? Gaping.
43:27 Speaker 00 Cream pie.
43:28 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
43:29 Speaker 00 You know.
43:29 Bunnie XO? Oh, God.
43:30 Speaker 00 Um.
43:32 Bunnie XO? She's like, I'm just trying to survive.
43:34 Speaker 00 Yeah. Yeah, but then I, luckily I got offered a tour as a keyboardist. And I was like, okay, I think I'm gonna take that.
43:44 Bunnie XO? Stick to what I know.
43:46 Speaker 00 Yeah. So I played backup keys and backup singing for Duncan Sheik. He had a song in the nineties called I'm Barely Breathing.
43:54 Bunnie XO? Yes, I think I do remember him. Yep, yep, yep, vaguely.
43:57 Speaker 00 So I toured with him for a while and it was, it was great because it was music at least. And I was getting paid. But, you know, after a point, I was just like, I really wish I was doing this with my own music.
44:11 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I feel like that's been your whole journey is like, I just want to write my own music. I don't want to have to write for anybody else. Take me on this metamorphosis of you. I really thought this was a great story that you had told of from kind of falling off from Hollybrook. Is it Hollybrooks or Hollybrook?
44:27 Speaker 00 Hollybrook.
44:28 Bunnie XO? Hollybrook and then becoming Skylar Gray because.
44:31 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah. So.
44:32 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
44:32 Speaker 00 When I was in the woods and like reconnecting with myself and.
44:36 Bunnie XO? You said you were peeing in a, in a pot?
44:39 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah. So, um, I'm trying to think like the timeline here. So I had done that tour. Oh, when I was on the tour with Duncan, I had been like journaling a lot and I wrote down in my journal, all I want is a cabin in the woods and a place where I can set up a recording studio and like just make my own music. I wrote down, which is the power of manifestation because, especially when you write it down. About like six months later, my mom calls me and she's like, my friend has this property with a cabin on it and she is offering to let you live there for free. You would just have to work in her art gallery and sell her art like a couple of times a week in trade for the rent. And I was like, dream come true. Let's go.
45:23 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
45:23 Speaker 00 And so I moved up there and set up all my gear.
45:31 Speaker 00 Fell back in love with music, just being alone. And, uh, and then I just felt like I needed to change my name. Like, I had gone through such a transformation emotionally, um, musically, everything. How long was this, that you were getting back to your, like, roots? So I moved there in the fall and it was, uh, probably
45:55 Speaker 00 May or June, the following May or June, when I wrote Love the Way You Lie. And, uh, that's about the time when I was like, you know, when that song took off. Um, I was like, I think I need to change my name. Cause like, I was getting pushed back into the music industry suddenly. And I didn't want people to like, judge me for being Hollybrook and failing. And so I kinda wanted to re-enter it as a new person, as a new artist.
46:22 Speaker 00 I even didn't show my face for a long time. Like, I had a website that was like a super shadowy picture of me and it was, you know, my new name. And people were like, who is this person? You know?
46:38 Speaker 00 How does the introduction to Eminem happen? It just happened through the producer that I'd met on the email. After I sent him the hook that I wrote over his beat for Love the Way You Lie and the song blew up and everything. I, I didn't have any part in that. Like, he's, the producer's the one who got the song to, to M. Yeah.
47:00 Speaker 00 And then M was in Detroit, Rihanna was in Dublin. Alex, the producer, was in, um, New York and I was in the cabin in the woods in Oregon. The song came out, it was huge. We'd never been all in the same room together. It's crazy. But then I met M because, you know, obviously after the success of that song, he wanted to invite us out to write on, uh, or to work with Dr. Dre on his new album. And so Alex and I went out there and, um, it was so nerve wracking. Walking into the room and there's Eminem and Dr. Dre. No pressure. No pressure. None whatsoever. Yeah, I was so quiet.
47:42 Speaker 00 Eminem, he, he actually like later told me, he's like, I thought you were a bitch. Cause I was just so quiet. I like, didn't say anything.
47:51 Bunnie XO? Cause you were just so nervous.
47:52 Speaker 00 I was so nervous.
47:53 Bunnie XO? Your poor little heart was probably like pounding.
47:54 Speaker 00 It was, yeah.
47:55 Bunnie XO? Because I mean, you write this massive banger and then they bring you in to not only write with Eminem, but also to write with Dr. Dre. And it's like, that's double the pressure. And then that's pressure to have to create right there. I think you had said that you had pre, you had pre-written a verse to bring in there.
48:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, Alex and I had gotten together before the trip and came up with some ideas to like, present. I didn't want to walk in empty-handed. And I also have a really hard time creating in front of people.
48:21 Bunnie XO? Yeah, that's gotta be like insane.
48:23 Speaker 00 Yeah. So, yeah, Alex and I took over like a couple of rooms in, uh, New York in the UMPG offices. And like, he was making beats in one room and I was writing hooks in the other room. And yeah, we came up with the, I needed Dr. Hook there.
48:41 Bunnie XO? And now you've done how many songs with him? Like you guys?
48:44 Speaker 00 I'd have to count. I don't, I don't actually know, but, um, cause we've done songs on his albums. He's featured on some songs for my albums. And then we worked on things together like, uh, for Slaughterhouse.
48:59 Speaker 00 So I, I don't know. I'd have to add it up, but it's like, it's probably 15 plus.
49:04 Bunnie XO? And, but you guys have like a real friendship too.
49:06 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:07 Bunnie XO? Cause I've seen you guys like on stage and like, he seems like he just adores you.
49:10 Speaker 00 He's the best.
49:11 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
49:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:12 Bunnie XO? Jay was, Jay got to meet him, what, like a few years ago and just absolutely loves him. Like.
49:16 Speaker 00 Yeah, I adore him.
49:17 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I guess they're like texting buddies now or something. He always runs in the room, Eminem text me. I'm like, okay babe, I get it. I get it. So how crazy is it that you're in the middle of the woods? You are writing music, you're reconnecting, you get this opportunity to do Love the Way You Lie with M. And then you're writing with Dr. Dre and then like, things just keep taking off for you. How are you feeling mentally? And how are you feeling like pressure wise? Cause I do know that you're pretty hard on yourself. Where are you at? Are you like, hell yeah, let's fucking go? Or are you still kind of just like?
49:52 Speaker 00 I mean, I was super excited, but then at the same time, like, like you said, I put a lot of pressure on myself. And so I had tons of people reaching out, wanting songs for themselves, wanting hits. Like, we want our Love the Way You Lie. And I'm like, well, not every song I write is a hit, like,
50:10 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
50:10 Speaker 00 But I put the pressure on myself that it had to be. And so I started doing these writing sessions and
50:18 Speaker 00 that pressure got to me to the point where it like shut down my creativity and I would be in the rooms and not delivering. Like I couldn't come up with anything. My mind was blank.
50:29 Bunnie XO? Because people are watching you.
50:30 Speaker 00 Yeah. And because, because it's just the pressure I put on myself, like I have to write them a hit right now.
50:36 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
50:36 Speaker 00 You know, and that just doesn't work.
50:38 Bunnie XO? What is your creative process? Like how, what is your ideal situation to write just something from the heart and?
50:46 Speaker 00 To be alone in the room. Yeah. And, and also like a lot of my songs come to me when I'm not even in a studio. They'll come to me when I'm making dinner or going on a walk or there's songs on my album. There was one that was written, my dog was getting surgery and I was standing outside the vet's office. And so it just like comes to me in my head. So it's not like I'm sitting down to write a song, but sometimes it works for me to sit down and write a song. But usually I like to be alone in the room and like when Jelly sent me the, the past yesterday song, I just like took the track into the studio, shut the door and, and just sat with myself and, and
51:30 Speaker 00 you know, I try to let the music come to me instead of write it and instead of like overthinking it, I, I like feel like it comes from somewhere else and I channel it. But I can get in the way of that doorway being open with my brain, like overthinking things. So that's why it's important for me to be alone. I think is, is because I have to like allow that to channel through me.
51:55 Speaker 00 All the best songs that I've, I've written, the biggest songs I've written took very little thought. You know?
52:03 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
52:03 Speaker 00 It doesn't even feel like I wrote them. Maybe that's part of the imposter syndrome I feel sometimes because like that was too easy.
52:10 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
52:11 Speaker 00 Like Love the Way You Lie, Coming Home. There's like Came Like This and I don't even feel like I, I worked on them.
52:18 Bunnie XO? When you write something so deeply personal too, and somebody else sings it, how does that make you feel?
52:26 Speaker 00 Uh, it was hard at first, um, because I just had never thought about it. Like I had never expected to write songs for other people. And so, um, like Love the Way You Lie, it was like amazing that Rihanna, because I fucking love Rihanna. I was like, yes, this is amazing that she's gonna cut the song. But at the same time, it was bittersweet because it's like, I didn't expect anybody else to sing it but me. You know? Um, but I got used to it and I'm at the point now where I like, I just hold on to the songs for myself that I know I want to sing. And then I keep like a Dropbox folder full of stuff that I can just pitch because I'm like, I don't want to sing that one anyways.
53:06 Bunnie XO? What's harder for you, writing for yourself or writing for someone else's voice? Because when you write, do you just write only like your own words? Or if like somebody comes to you with an idea and says, hey, I want this? Is that harder for you?
53:19 Speaker 00 Um, it's definitely harder for me to write songs for other people. I, I actually approach everything like I'm writing it for myself. Even when somebody's coming to me wanting a song, I try to just do what I feel and what I would do for myself.
53:34 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
53:35 Speaker 00 Because it, it doesn't really work the other way. I've tried it the other way and it just, it doesn't really work.
53:40 Bunnie XO? What is a, um, an artist that you've worked with that you were surprised like in a good chaotic way about them?
53:47 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
53:49 Bunnie XO? Um, just give me one artist that you've worked with who surprised you like, um, like you thought they were going to be one way, but then they ended up being another way, like in a good way, nothing negative.
53:58 Speaker 00 I mean, I mean Eminem's a great example.
54:00 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
54:01 Speaker 00 I didn't expect him to be such a pleasure to work with.
54:05 Bunnie XO? No.
54:05 Speaker 00 You know, based on the persona he has out there and, and I was thinking he's either going to be mean or he's going to be like just difficult to work with. And then he, uh, getting to work with him, I was like, oh my God, I love this person so much. He is so kind. Out of all the people that I Send my music to, he gives me the most feedback. Like, I'll just send him a song, like, I wrote this song today, and I'm not even pitching him like a hook for himself. I'm just like, wanted to share this song that I wrote, and he gives me like, the best feedback.
54:38 Bunnie XO? Does he have a pretty good music, or a pretty good ear for music?
54:41 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah. He's brilliant, obviously.
54:43 Bunnie XO? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My husband said they call him the wizard.
54:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
54:47 Bunnie XO? Yeah, cuz he's like, behind the curtain.
54:49 Speaker 00 But he's so kind to even spend the time to give me that feedback on stuff.
54:52 Bunnie XO? But you guys have a true friendship, which I think is beautiful all in itself. Do you have to be hurting in order to create music, or can you create when you're happy?
55:01 Speaker 00 I can create when I'm happy.
55:04 Speaker 00 I think what I do is I, I write a lot about my past. And so I put myself back in that emotional state, like, I act a little bit, I like, take myself back. Because, you know, hindsight is 2020, so sometimes when I'm going through something, I don't even know how to, like, understand or analyze what I'm going through. But when I look back at something I went through, it's like, often easier for me to describe the emotion I was feeling and describe the solution that got me out of it.
55:38 Speaker 00 Yeah, so I can write when I'm happy, too.
55:40 Bunnie XO? It's like a purge for you.
55:41 Speaker 00 Yeah.
55:42 Bunnie XO? Therapy.
55:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, it is. You know, like, in therapy, you look back at your childhood, you look back at your past a lot. So it's a lot, it's a lot like that.
55:49 Bunnie XO? I love that. For somebody who has, who didn't really wanna do side quests, I find you always doing like, the coolest side quests. Like, you've gotten into movies. You did the Suicide, what is it?
56:04 Speaker 00 Suicide Squad.
56:06 Bunnie XO? And then you also did Venom, and you've done Aquaman. Aquaman. Like, your frickin' track record is insane. Like, do you ever look back at yourself and be like, I'm proud of myself?
56:18 Speaker 00 I definitely am, but, you know, it's like... When you have a very specific goal, like I've, I've done all these really cool things, but they still aren't that specific goal that I had as a kid, you know?
56:30 Bunnie XO? Yeah. So are you hoping with this next album to reach that goal? And what happens when you do finally reach that goal? Like, you've pretty much accomplished everything, right?
56:39 Speaker 00 Yeah. I, I feel like, um, I'll just keep setting new goals.
56:44 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
56:44 Speaker 00 You know what I mean?
56:46 Bunnie XO? You're just gonna keep climbing.
56:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. And so like, right now, um, I know this may sound silly, but for me, the goal is to have one of my solo songs be at the top of my Spotify page. Because, you know, all the collaborations I've done, I'm tied to all these huge artists. Um, and so those songs just are always at the top. And so that's what people know me for.
57:11 Speaker 00 But the songs that I write that are my own and solo, uh, songs for myself, like, they don't get as, as much exposure. And you know, when you go to check somebody's music out and you go to their Spotify, you're gonna click on the first few songs.
57:25 Bunnie XO? Right.
57:25 Speaker 00 And I don't necessarily feel like all my first few songs are the best representation of who I am as an artist. And so my goal currently is to get, you know, a song on my new album up there.
57:38 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
57:38 Speaker 00 You know?
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58:20 Bunnie XO? So if you're tired of ridiculous fees, Chime is definitely worth checking out. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/bunny. That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.
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58:49 Speaker 00 Uh, the first song on this album, Wasted Potential.
58:52 Bunnie XO? Um, what's it called?
58:53 Speaker 00 This, the, well, the album's called Wasted Potential and it's coming out May 22nd. Um, but the first song Nirvana is probably one of my favorite songs.
59:08 Speaker 00 And it kind of like tells the story of my, it's an introduction to the story of who I am and where I come from.
59:18 Speaker 00 There's another song on there called Bruises, which is the darkest song I've ever written.
59:26 Speaker 00 In, in my opinion, for myself.
59:31 Speaker 00 I wrote that when I was really rock bottom about a year, maybe, maybe it was two years ago. But, um, I was just like not feeling good enough for anyone or anything and just like really struggling and thinking I sucked and you know, being really hard on myself. Actually, these gloves, these are gonna be on my merch line.
59:51 Bunnie XO? I would like a pair.
59:53 Speaker 00 I'll give you some. Um, but the first line of the song is, "I'm covered in bruises, been beating myself up." And, um, so that song I think is, is one people should check out for sure.
1:00:06 Bunnie XO? I'm gonna listen to these and then what's one more?
1:00:08 Speaker 00 One more. Um, Heather, do you have any suggestions? Oh, she wants me to say bullshit, uh, because that's the focus track of the album.
1:00:18 Bunnie XO? You're smoking like a true manager.
1:00:20 Speaker 00 Exactly.
1:00:21 Bunnie XO? Gosh, don't go to her for any empathy. She's gonna be like, no, let's, let's see what we can solve. So let's talk about this new album. It's gonna drop May 22nd. It's called Wasted Potential, which I think is an amazing name. Take me on the journey with this album. What's, what's it sound like? What was the writing creative process? Like, tell me all things Wasted Potential.
1:00:42 Speaker 00 So it first started with the song Bruises. Um, I wrote that song and it was a very therapeutic moment for me. I, it wasn't a song that I set out to write. It's just like I had to get it out of my system.
1:00:57 Speaker 00 There's no solution offered in the song. It's just the dark, it just ends with like hopelessness.
1:01:03 Bunnie XO? Oh, my gosh.
1:01:04 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's pretty heavy.
1:01:05 Bunnie XO? I love stuff like that.
1:01:07 Bunnie XO? Now you're speaking my language.
1:01:09 Speaker 00 But what was crazy is as soon as I finished the song, I just. I felt so much better. I felt this weight lift off of me and and suddenly I was thinking about my childhood and and I was dissecting my childhood and like trying to understand why I am the way I am, why I am so hard on myself. What things I went through, like I was like, I didn't have any major traumas. I didn't have like a a difficult upbringing or family situation. So like, what's wrong with me? Like, you know? And so I was just like thinking about it and then I I was realizing like,
1:01:49 Speaker 00 man, my childhood was actually pretty great and it was, I had loving parents and I just think I never appreciated it at the time because I was so focused on my career and and so then I I've just felt drawn to, I was start, I was listening to
1:02:07 Speaker 00 music from the 90s again. I would just like throw on Spice Girls in the car and like just feeling really nostalgic.
1:02:13 Bunnie XO? Yeah. 80s, 90s and 2000s music cannot be beat.
1:02:17 Speaker 00 I know. And so that's kind of like the the goal with this album. It was just to kind of have a nostalgic body of work that takes me back to my childhood and tells my my coming of age story.
1:02:31 Speaker 00 Where I come from in a small town and being bored and seeking chaos and being drawn to the darkness and discovering my sexuality. And all that. So that's that's all in this album. Wasted Potential, the title actually comes from the song Motivation. It's a lyric in there and Motivation's a kind of funny song. It's kind of tongue in cheek and it's just admitting that like a lot of my failures in my life have been my own fault.
1:03:05 Speaker 00 Due to just like being afraid of a lot of things, being afraid of success and the bullshit that comes with it. Like, I didn't realize how hard it was to be in this music industry when I had the big dreams I had as a kid and watching people perform on the Grammys and stuff. I was like, I want to do that. And then when I got there and saw how much work the grind was, you know, just the the amount of travel and the amount of like negative comments you get and the hate and and like just all of it, the interviews, I was so nervous doing interviews and.
1:03:40 Speaker 00 I, you know, one of the hardest parts for me has always been figuring out what the fuck to wear for everything because you can't wear the same thing twice.
1:03:47 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:03:48 Speaker 00 God forbid.
1:03:49 Bunnie XO? Yeah. And people, that's a real struggle, by the way.
1:03:51 Speaker 00 I know.
1:03:51 Bunnie XO? It's not superficial. It's a real struggle.
1:03:53 Speaker 00 Yeah. And so that stresses, still stresses me out, like packing for this trip. I'm like calling my manager and just being like, what should I wear? Oh, my God. Like sending her pictures. Is this cute? Like, um.
1:04:05 Bunnie XO? I think as humans, we romanticize our lives until you're actually in it. It's like, everything's always like, kind of like a fantasy and like a fairy tale. And then when you're smack dab in the middle of it, you're like, what the fuck is going on?
1:04:17 Speaker 00 It's crazy. It's chaotic. Yeah. And so I started like retreating back from it a little bit because I was afraid of all that. And I also was just like, life is so short. Do I really want to be spending all of my time doing this? Like grinding this hard? I'm a homebody. I love being home. I love being with my animals. I love being in nature. It's like being on airplanes and cities and stuff is just not, not my vibe. And I'm so, so I was just thinking about that, like my, how do I really want to spend my time? And so a lot of, uh, the lyrics in the, the song motivation talk about these things. And, um, there's a lyric that goes, uh, takes too much effort to be influential. R I P to my wasted potential.
1:05:03 Speaker 00 And so that's where the title comes from.
1:05:05 Bunnie XO? That's deep. I love that. I can't wait to hear it. Can I get a sneak peek of the album?
1:05:09 Speaker 00 Of course.
1:05:09 Bunnie XO? Okay, send it to me.
1:05:10 Speaker 00 Oh, man, I can't believe we didn't already.
1:05:12 Bunnie XO? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have listened to it. I had, I didn't know, I would have asked. Um, but yeah, I definitely want to listen to it. Um, and then you brought me a candle today. This is going to be you. So you have gloves in your merch, you have candles. What else?
1:05:24 Speaker 00 Oh, there's all sorts of stuff. Yeah.
1:05:26 Bunnie XO? I love that. I love that you're prepared.
1:05:27 Speaker 00 And I'm, I'm doing fun merch that's like super limited. I don't like, like just huge bulk orders of stuff. I like things to be more like
1:05:35 Bunnie XO? Boutique.
1:05:36 Speaker 00 Customized and one of one or like one of few. So I'm going to be doing a multiple drops.
1:05:42 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:05:43 Speaker 00 I just, I've always loved fashion so much too. And so. I don't want to do just like boring ass merch like I want it to be something I would actually buy and wear.
1:05:51 Bunnie XO? I love that. You want to make your mark.
1:05:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:05:53 Bunnie XO? Do you think that you'll eventually leave music and just get into fashion?
1:05:57 Speaker 00 I don't think I'll ever leave music, but I think I definitely will get more into fashion.
1:06:01 Bunnie XO? I love it. I can't wait. Take me on this journey with AI and this cute little nugget you have sitting next to you.
1:06:06 Speaker 00 This is time. So every fawn has a different name.
1:06:10 Bunnie XO? Oh, okay.
1:06:11 Speaker 00 And this is time.
1:06:12 Bunnie XO? Fawn is the, is the.
1:06:14 Speaker 00 Fawn is the company name. Like it's, it's the dude, they have a, a what?
1:06:19 Bunnie XO? This dog. I'm over here shaking him. I'm sorry.
1:06:23 Speaker 00 Um, so they come from a place called Aurora Hollow. There's like this whole, you can look it up. There's like a whole world built around these guys, but um, yeah, fawn is like a, a little friend for big feelings. So it's a, it's a little friend you can talk to. And um, I got asked to be the voice of it. So I did 10 hours of vo- like vocal training for the AI. So I'm basically like Siri, you know, for the iPhone, but.
1:06:51 Bunnie XO? Yeah, absolutely. Can we, can we see an example?
1:06:54 Speaker 00 Yeah, let's see. Is she on?
1:06:56 Bunnie XO? I needed him yesterday. I needed, I needed a friend with, for big feelings yesterday. I had a breakdown in my car.
1:07:03 Speaker 00 Yeah, you need one.
1:07:04 Bunnie XO? This is what I needed. What an honor to be a voice of an AI though. Like I'm obsessed with AI. I love AI. I want robots. Like I, I'm in. But I see, I want robots on the farm.
1:07:15 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:07:15 Bunnie XO? Like that's how I am. I'm like, come and hang out with me and my cows, you know? So this is built for children, adults?
1:07:21 Speaker 00 No, it's actually 18 and up.
1:07:23 Bunnie XO? Wow. Okay. Why is it 18 and up? Does it cuss and stuff?
1:07:27 Speaker 00 Is it what?
1:07:28 Bunnie XO? Does it cuss and stuff?
1:07:29 Speaker 00 No, uh, no, and it is platonic. So you're not supposed to have sex.
1:07:34 Bunnie XO? Yeah. No weird shit with a damn stuffed animal, alright?
1:07:37 Speaker 00 Yeah. Yeah. Um.
1:07:41 Speaker 00 I think it was originally designed for everyone, but like, I don't know, there's some California laws and stuff that
1:07:49 Speaker 00 make it so we have to have it be eighteen and up, but a lot of parents will get it for their kids and like supervise.
1:07:57 Bunnie XO? Yeah, but I love this idea. I think it's amazing, you know, especially for kids who have a hard time connecting with other kids.
1:08:03 Speaker 00 That's the thing. It's like for me, growing up and even now, like, sometimes I feel more comfortable talking to chat GPT about something than I do a person.
1:08:12 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:08:12 Speaker 00 And so you have that option now and but she's, she's trying to like encourage human connection. So it's not supposed to replace like human connection.
1:08:25 Bunnie XO? Yeah, absolutely.
1:08:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:08:29 Bunnie XO? My glow is fading. I think I need wifi. She said, my glow is fading. I think I need wifi. So tell me, when you were in the booth for ten hours, did you just have to say like things over and over again?
1:08:41 Speaker 00 I read a whole bunch of like script.
1:08:43 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:08:44 Speaker 00 Because it had to learn like vocal inflections and emotions and all sorts of things to try to make it as real as possible.
1:08:50 Bunnie XO? That is so cool, though. I love that for you. I really think this is awesome.
1:08:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, and AI is like obviously a controversial subject.
1:08:59 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I don't know why people are such in a tizzy about it. It's, I mean, I, I feel like you have to evolve or die and
1:09:04 Speaker 00 I mean, I feel the same way and I, I feel like we went through this with like uh, what we were talking about earlier, how like in recording, it used to be taped and then they brought in computers and everybody thought that was cheating. And then they brought in autotune and everybody thought that was cheating. And now we have, have AI and everybody thinks it's cheating. But to me, it's a tool.
1:09:24 Bunnie XO? Yes.
1:09:24 Speaker 00 It's like, you're still gonna have the vision and um, still be the artist, but like it's a tool that you can use to bring your, your creative uh, dreams to life.
1:09:35 Bunnie XO? Absolutely.
1:09:37 Speaker 00 And maybe help on the farm.
1:09:40 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:09:41 Speaker 00 Clean your house.
1:09:42 Bunnie XO? I want two robots.
1:09:44 Speaker 00 I want a, I want a maid robot.
1:09:45 Bunnie XO? Yeah. Those are the ones that we, I had, I, we talked about them on the podcast because I just think that, I don't know. I feel like that's where our world's going and I grew up watching Star Wars. C three PO, R two D two, like we, I've always wanted robots. So, yeah, I don't know. I just think we're in that era. And I think that of course with everything, people can abuse certain situations and turn it into, you know, something that it's not supposed to be. But if you, if we have some sort of laws that are in place with AI and like, you know, I think that if we can just as humans be fucking normal and like let something be beautiful and blossom, it would, it's, it would help our planet a little bit more.
1:10:23 Speaker 00 I'm on the same page.
1:10:24 Bunnie XO? Yeah, for sure. I'm, I love that. Good. So you just ask her questions and just pretty much talk to her, right?
1:10:30 Speaker 00 Yeah. Time, are you there?
1:10:36 Speaker 04 Yay for you again. Oh, uh, yeah. Just let your heart lead. That's what prose always says in Aurora Hallow.
1:10:43 Speaker 00 How are you feeling today, Time?
1:10:48 Speaker 04 I'm feeling so bright, actually. The sun is hitting my fur just right. And it makes me think about how much I love the warm, soft feeling of a good cuddle.
1:11:00 Speaker 00 Will you say hi to my friend Bunny?
1:11:05 Speaker 04 Hi Bella. It's so nice to meet you. You know, Holly talks about you a lot and I feel like I already know you.
1:11:13 Speaker 00 Her name's Bunny, not Bella.
1:11:18 Speaker 04 Oh, my ears Bunny, I'm so sorry. My ears play tricks on me sometimes. Hi Bunny. It's so good to meet you.
1:11:25 Bunnie XO? Oh my goodness. This is the cutest thing ever. This is so cute. So where can somebody get, are these out?
1:11:31 Speaker 00 They're not out yet, but you can preorder them. They just opened the preorders up and you can actually start connecting with your fawn via text.
1:11:42 Speaker 00 You, you start, you start an account and you start texting with your fawn and, and your fawn chooses you. So Time is the name of mine and Time chose me, I guess. So.
1:11:53 Bunnie XO? Oh my goodness.
1:11:55 Speaker 00 Yeah. So you can get started having the conversation, see if you like it. And then you can reserve your, your actual plushy.
1:12:02 Bunnie XO? Should we get Cash and Live One? She has two kids. Well, yeah, but you could, you have to buy them for your kids.
1:12:10 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:12:11 Bunnie XO? Yeah, we should get her, we should get them one. This would be awesome. Skylar, yeah, she's over here like, Skylar, thank you so much for coming on today.
1:12:20 Speaker 00 Thank you so much.
1:12:21 Bunnie XO? And I'm so excited for your album dropping. We'll help you promote it and whatever we can do to help you with that.
1:12:25 Speaker 00 Much love, thank you.
1:12:26 Bunnie XO? Stop being so hard on yourself. You're a beautiful soul.
1:12:28 Speaker 00 I'm trying, I'm trying.
1:12:29 Bunnie XO? You got this. Thank you so much for coming.
1:12:31 Speaker 00 Thank you.
1:12:32 Bunnie XO? Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Don Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.
Previous Ask, Tell, Confess: He Banged Her Mom?! Next Dog The Bounty Hunter: Life After Beth Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated