Pod Insights Dumb Blonde Ask, Tell, Confess: I'm In My IHOP Hoe Phase About this episode Join the group chat this week on Ask, Tell, Confess! The gals hear a confession about the wild shiz that went down in an IHOP parking lot, a bedroom fail that was pure liquid gold, and Bunnie explains why she once pooped in a French fry basket. The crew tries to pressure Meme into wearing a whipped cream bikini and helps a listener curate the perfect housewarming registry.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Bunnie XO? Y'all know I love being comfortable, especially when it gets cold. That's why I'm loving Bombas this time of year. They make the absolute best socks, slippers, and winter footwear to keep you warm and cozy all season long. I love their plush gripper socks and cushy sundae slippers for lounging around the house. And when I'm running errands, their water-resistant suede booties are just as comfortable. Bombas also makes buttery breathable underwear and perfectly fitted t-shirts that make the ultimate comfiest first layer. Plus, they have incredible gifts for everyone on your list. From ultra-warm merino wool socks to high-performance sports socks for runners and skiers. Best of all, for every item you purchase, Bombas donates an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity.
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1:27 Bunnie XO? Whoever they choose to lead them will have absolute power deciding who stays and who gets taken out, who makes money, and who walks away with nothing. In a game of power where loyalty and trust are the currency, will the most powerful reality contestant in TV history be able to keep the family happy? And if they're overthrown by the mob, who's gonna step up and become the new Don? Let the games begin. Watch The Mob, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. I'll be tuning in. Hey, guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why and the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the Deportes, we have Popaganda,
2:10 Bunnie XO? we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com/dumbblondepodcast and sign up.
2:43 Speaker 01 Welcome back to another episode of Ask Tail on Fresh.
2:58 Bunnie XO? I like when it fades off into the distance.
3:02 Bunnie XO? It's very comforting for me.
3:04 Bunnie XO? Hello guys.
3:05 Speaker 01 Hey.
3:06 Bunnie XO? Hello. How's everybody doing today?
3:11 Speaker 03 Can't complain.
3:12 Bunnie XO? Can't complain. Alright, who wants to kick it off?
3:15 Speaker 03 Um, I got it.
3:17 Speaker 01 Please zoom in on her as she did that, please.
3:21 Speaker 03 I don't know what I just did. I got one. Um, this is a tell in the IHOP, IHOP parking lot.
3:29 Speaker 01 Um, that's already sounds like a good time.
3:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, love a good IHOP. Backstory, I was eighteen at the time, it was still summertime, but school had already started. Um, recently started my freshman year of college, going through my ho phase, trying to get over my recent breakup. My best friend was with the brother of the situation ship. So best friend, the dad of the boys, their little brother, who was ten, and the dad's girlfriend and I all load up and go to the nearest IHOP. I'm Snapchatting the snap hoes as one does. One of them snaps me back and tells me to meet him outside to talk. One thing led to another and we ended up in the very back of this dude's mom's SUV. Mid sweat sesh, the little brother, who's ten, comes out and opens the damn car door.
4:15 Speaker 03 Uh, she said, I scream, he screams, probably scared for, scarred for his life. And the next thing we know, it's a show for everyone. And full ass in the ten year old's face.
4:27 Bunnie XO? Oh, no.
4:29 Speaker 01 You just traumatized that kid, bro.
4:32 Bunnie XO? He's never gonna forget that.
4:33 Speaker 01 In a parking lot?
4:34 Speaker 03 In a parking lot.
4:36 Bunnie XO? Never's gonna forget that.
4:37 Speaker 03 Yeah, we get dressed and then dad starts a normal ass convo with the kid. I was just banging in the backseat and I exposed a small child. The things he shouldn't have been at that, seen at that age.
4:48 Bunnie XO? That's something you should have thought about before fucking in the parking lot. Not saying that, I haven't fucked in parking lots, because lord knows I love to.
4:56 Speaker 03 I like a good parking lot.
4:57 Bunnie XO? But I like to make sure that no kids are around, you know?
5:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, yeah.
5:01 Bunnie XO? Maybe at night or like, you know, back in a corner.
5:04 Speaker 03 Huh? Mid bite? You're like, hold on, guys. I just gotta run to the car.
5:08 Bunnie XO? I mean, listen, maybe they're passionate. I'm fucking all for it. I'm totally all for it.
5:13 Speaker 01 What time of the day was it at, you think?
5:15 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
5:15 Speaker 01 Did they say?
5:16 Speaker 03 It sounds like morning time.
5:17 Speaker 01 Was it brunch? I should be honest, a pancake has never made me that horny.
5:21 Bunnie XO? Uh huh.
5:22 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm sorry. I'd have to finish my chocolate chip pancakes first.
5:25 Bunnie XO? I will put the fucking pancake on my butthole if you want to eat it off, alright? Fucking, I will slap some flapjacks on my titties. I love food getting eaten, food getting eaten off of you is the fucking most erotic feeling.
5:36 Speaker 01 I've never had that happen.
5:38 Bunnie XO? Really? You guys gotta do it. Do it for Jason. Do a little whipped cream bikini for him.
5:43 Speaker 03 No.
5:47 Speaker 01 Whipped cream bikini?
5:50 Bunnie XO? Wait, I wonder why you said no so fast?
5:53 Speaker 01 Because I really feel like that is the difference in plus size people and skinny people. This is like booths and tables at a restaurant right now. You just don't understand the difference.
6:04 Bunnie XO? Why?
6:05 Speaker 03 It'd be a tanky.
6:15 Bunnie XO? Why can't you just put little triangles on you?
6:18 Speaker 01 You know how many fucking whipped cream this is gonna?
6:22 Speaker 03 I need the whole gallon container.
6:23 Bunnie XO? Listen, dude, all you gotta do is put triangles over your nipples and a triangle over your pussy. You don't gotta fucking paint your whole body with it, crazies.
6:32 Speaker 01 I'd be in a full on one piece.
6:36 Speaker 01 Like a swim dress.
6:38 Bunnie XO? Like you're covered in shaving cream, just fucking.
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7:27 Bunnie XO? That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.
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7:44 Speaker 05 Hi, I'm Dr. Mary Claire Haver, board certified OB-GYN and menopause specialist. My podcast, UnPaused, is the place for bold, unfiltered conversations about what it really takes for women to thrive in the second half of life. Every week, I sit down with medical experts and leading voices to talk about the health issues that matter most because UnPaused isn't just about the years you live, but how well you live them. Listen and follow UnPaused with me, Dr. Mary Claire Haver, wherever you get your podcasts.
8:16 Bunnie XO? I can't.
8:18 Bunnie XO? Do, listen, Jason, I would like for Mimi's birthday, I would like her to do a whipped cream bikini before she leaves. So we need to get this in motion in the next 24 hours, please.
8:32 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
8:33 Speaker 03 If you see an Instacart order of just like five cans of whipped cream.
8:37 Bunnie XO? I'm sending it over. Fucking cool whip on the titties, whatever we gotta do.
8:40 Speaker 01 My kids are gonna answer the dorm. They're like, Mom, why is there so much fucking whipped cream?
8:45 Bunnie XO? Cash is gonna be huffing the fucking cans.
8:47 Speaker 01 I walked into Olivia the other day. I was like, baby, you can't just go raw dog on the fucking.
8:54 Bunnie XO? Oh, little whipits.
8:56 Speaker 01 I thought, I think she did a whip it the other day because.
9:02 Speaker 01 Fuck in the kitchen and she's upright with it and I was like, stop everything. I said, turn it upside down. And she was like, why? I said, you're probably gonna feel really good here in about a second.
9:14 Bunnie XO? Dizzy as fuck.
9:16 Speaker 01 Don't fucking do that.
9:17 Bunnie XO? Yeah, no.
9:19 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
9:19 Bunnie XO? Oh, God. Yep, I'm sending over the whipped cream tonight with cherries. Please do it for me. A little chocolate syrup? Just a little, just a little, like, make a little sundae on yourself. It'll be cute. Sprinkle? It'll be cute. And let Jason eat it off of you. Sprinkles could look like pubes. Oh, my God. You're disgusting. Okay, now we're taking it too far. All right, what do you got memes?
9:42 Speaker 01 You guys.
9:44 Bunnie XO? I hate you. How do we get off on that tangent? Cause that's just what we do. These are, this is like how we talk when the mics are off.
9:50 Speaker 01 Everyone feels like, they call this the group chat.
9:53 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
9:53 Speaker 01 Like, literally, they tell everyone, if you want to become part of the group chat, like, go listen to us talk confess.
10:01 Bunnie XO? Yes.
10:02 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. I don't know. Let me just go into this then. Just going off of that, Ozempic shits during sex.
10:10 Bunnie XO? I almost read that one.
10:11 Speaker 01 Oh, if you know anything about being on a GLP-1, it's that if you eat too much greasy food or too sugary of foods, your digestive system will hate you. And I have had to learn that the hard way. You have to really watch what you eat. And apparently this person did not. They would like to keep anonymous. So this only happened as of last night, and she's telling it while it's fresh in her mind. They had a late dinner, so she just threw together some tacos. And as most of you guys know, shot and greasy foods or spicy foods don't mix. Usually I get the tummy rumbles as a warning to get to the bathroom. When Ozempic shots strike, especially since I normally only go once a week. That's not normal, that you only poop once a week.
10:55 Bunnie XO? She goes to the bathroom once a week? That's crazy. Yeah, that's not normal.
10:58 Speaker 01 All right. So.
11:01 Bunnie XO? She's not lying, though, because I remember how much I was shitting on those fucking shots.
11:04 Speaker 01 Yes. She goes to the bed and we're doing our thing and I'm on top. I reach back and fondle his balls. They were super wet. Cool. I just got off a lot of this man making.
11:17 Speaker 01 I got off this man making me come like a waterfall. So I think it's just me. Then my hands are on his chest for leverage as I'm riding. He's got his hand around my throat and I'm grabbing, this got really hot.
11:30 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
11:31 Speaker 01 Alright, like this is crazy. Um, and I'm grabbing his arm. So we're touching all over. He gets off. We are laying there for a second. He says, babe, I think you're bleeding. I'm like, fuck, it's not time for my period. Then he says, um, I think this is poop. I instantly start to freak out.
11:52 Bunnie XO? How could you not smell it?
11:53 Speaker 01 That's what I'm saying. You guys literally rubbed these juices all over you thinking they're come and it's really poop? We've been together two years and this man knows my body, but I'm weird about using the bathroom in front of people. And I just smeared shit all over this man's chest, arms and sheets. I'm in tears. He's trying to make me feel better and crack jokes. I just fucked the shit out of you. But that didn't help. I yelled at him to get into the shower while I cleaned up the shit and cried of embarrassment. I showered and we went to bed and he held me like nothing happened, made all the comments this morning about how sexy I am. But I am still mortified.
12:28 Bunnie XO? Hmm. It must've been some runny shit, dude. I don't know how it didn't smell though. You instantly smell poop. When poop doesn't hit water and it's in the air.
12:37 Speaker 01 Raw shit.
12:38 Bunnie XO? It's a different fucking smell, man.
12:39 Speaker 01 Literally.
12:40 Bunnie XO? I had to shit in a french fry basket one time and it is rough, dude.
12:44 Speaker 01 What the fuck?
12:44 Bunnie XO? Yeah. When you have to do like those, the, the poop tests that you have to do for doctors.
12:49 Speaker 01 No.
12:49 Bunnie XO? They give you a french fry basket and you have to shit in it and catch your fucking logs in it. Bro, when I tell you it is the most humbling experience you'll ever go through, it sucks. I made space over there when you said it. He was like, yeah, it's like my dog. Poop is different. When it doesn't hit water, boy, it's male.
13:08 Speaker 01 Ah, wow. Um, that's kind of how I feel like when we have to poop in bags on the tour buses.
13:14 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
13:15 Speaker 01 That's, you're humbled by how heavy that bag is.
13:18 Bunnie XO? I get excited. I start wearing my turds. Everyone hold it.
13:21 Speaker 01 Yeah. She's like, feel this one. Feel this one. And we have, I'll be honest, to get really close when you're in those kind of corners.
13:28 Bunnie XO? I am proud of the weight that I lose when I do one of those.
13:31 Speaker 01 It's like when guys hold fishes in their profile pictures, that's Bunny with her poop bags.
13:36 Bunnie XO? Yeah. We should start taking pictures. You do not realize how heavy a log is until you shit three of them in a bag and have to pick it up. You're like, damn, that was just inside of me. I hope I lost some weight with that. Yeah.
13:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, weigh it out.
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14:50 Bunnie XO? All right, my turn. We ready?
14:52 Speaker 01 She said, all right. All right.
14:54 Bunnie XO? Leah said, which I thought this is actually a really cool question, and we could definitely give her some advice. She said, for this week's Ask Tuck and Fish, nothing to do with buttholes or poop. It's all right, don't worry about it. Mimi already covered it. My boyfriend and I close on our first home, May 8th. Congratulations. So exciting. Financially, on the struggle bus, so our moms want to throw us a housewarming party. What are some things we should ask for that's necessary? I hate asking for things, so I don't want to be unreasonable. Also, any advice for the first time home buyer, or for two 23-year-olds starting out in the real world?
15:32 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh. I have so many good ideas.
15:34 Bunnie XO? I know. Mimi's really good with this stuff.
15:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, give that to Mimi.
15:36 Bunnie XO? As far as like housewarming stuff, I would make an Amazon list because everything on Amazon is so cheap. But like great quality and do like everything like kitchen, cookware. Uh, microwaves, toasters.
15:52 Speaker 01 I was gonna say can opener.
15:53 Bunnie XO? Can opener.
15:57 Speaker 03 Can't live without every day.
15:58 Bunnie XO? Literally.
16:00 Speaker 01 Go through your everyday. This is what I tell everyone because I've actually been asked this question before. Go through your everyday life and write down everything you use.
16:09 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
16:09 Speaker 01 It's crazy what you don't think of can openers.
16:13 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
16:13 Speaker 01 Cleaning stuff. You would not believe how many clean things I'd have to go like just I would go to like grab it because it wasn't in my thought. I thought, you know, all the other necessities and then I would go to find like a scrub brush and I'm like, I don't even think I bought a scrub brush for this house or like,
16:30 Speaker 01 I'm a daddy whore. Let me tell you right now, I've got four unopened packs. It's the best page ever. Their PR team is the most incredible. Their content creation is beautiful.
16:43 Speaker 01 But like the cleaning baskets, like I love to give people as a gifts. Baskets that you can put underneath like um sinks and stuff, just full of cleaning supplies. You can, I love like all kinds of.
16:55 Speaker 03 Laundry baskets.
16:55 Speaker 01 Yes, laundry baskets.
16:58 Speaker 03 I always need hangers.
16:59 Speaker 01 Good hangers.
16:59 Bunnie XO? Always need hangers, trash bags. You don't think about how many paper towels you go through.
17:04 Speaker 01 Ask people for necessities because the other stuff can come in time, furniture pieces, side tables, all that will come in time. Get your necessities out of the way.
17:13 Bunnie XO? Jay and I literally had to sleep on an air mattress the first couple of weeks in our apartment. You know, like that's what ma- the struggle is what makes it so much fun. And then you look back on it after like 10 years and you're like, bro, remember when we couldn't even fucking buy a wooden spoon? Remember when we couldn't buy a toaster? Like the struggle is part of life and I think that a lot of people think that, oh, you know, because we have social media now. So you got, you know, 23 year olds who are literally, first of all, 23 years old, buying your first house, that's fucking phenomenal.
17:44 Speaker 01 Uh, that's amazing in this economy.
17:46 Bunnie XO? You guys are already ahead of the game because at 23, I wasn't buying a house. There's no fucking way I could have afforded it and my credit was shot, but.
17:55 Speaker 01 Oh wait, I bought mine.
17:56 Bunnie XO? The fact, huh?
17:57 Speaker 01 I think I bought mine at 22.
17:59 Bunnie XO? Yeah, at 22? Yay.
18:01 Speaker 01 We built our first house.
18:02 Bunnie XO? Well, good for you, bitch.
18:05 Bunnie XO? But anyways, I think that's great. I think also just being able to like live in the moment. Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part,
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19:51 Bunnie XO? Yes, it's so important to live in the moment. It's just, don't stress about what you guys don't have, because it's all gonna come.
19:58 Speaker 01 I love that you said air mattress. Jason and I's first couch when we moved to Tennessee was a half-deflated. Uh, air mattress that we folded in half and pushed up against the wall because we couldn't afford furniture.
20:09 Bunnie XO? Love that.
20:10 Speaker 01 I know. I was like, we're gonna make do. So we're gonna put our mattress on the floor in the bedroom and we're gonna deflate the air mattress and fold it in half and it made a couch.
20:18 Bunnie XO? Yeah. You've always been so good like that though, and like responsible. So even if you guys slept on a fucking air mattress, you just said you still owned a house at fucking twenty two years old.
20:27 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. I didn't believe in, I didn't believe in renting. So when I met Jason, his credit score, and I'm sorry to throw you out there like this, Jason, he had no credit score.
20:37 Bunnie XO? Terrible.
20:37 Speaker 01 And so my job was like as a wife to be like, that's not, like, we're gonna fix this together.
20:44 Bunnie XO? People at your age are not thinking like that. They're thinking about going to their next party, especially in Vegas too. We're not thinking about anything like that.
20:52 Speaker 01 I did, I did a lot of like phone calls to credit agencies and all that kind of stuff, wiped all his medical debt.
20:57 Bunnie XO? Nobody's doing that. I did, I started doing that when I got with Jay and I was like fucking thirty eight.
21:02 Speaker 01 Yeah. No, I remember you and I talking like when we first met, we would like go over credit stuff. Cause like you were all about like paying your bills down to zero. Cause you thought that was the idea. But I was like, no, you need to keep ten percent cause your credit grows that way. Like you have to have a ten percent usage within your credit so that like.
21:18 Bunnie XO? Now you guys know why I let Mimi handle everything in the business because she's so, like yesterday, she's handling like deals for me and I'm just listening. And she's like, so what do you think? I'm like, eh, I'm like, what? I'm like, what the fuck did I just listen to? I'm like, I don't care. I just want the money. Like what else do I gotta do?
21:34 Speaker 01 Such an analytic person. It's kinda crazy. That's my obsession. You know, you're a numbers person.
21:39 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
21:39 Speaker 01 And I'm an analytics person. So patterns for me, I obsess.
21:44 Bunnie XO? So I obsess over patterns too.
21:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:46 Bunnie XO? But it just depends on what it is.
21:48 Speaker 01 You're a number pattern person.
21:49 Bunnie XO? Like an algorithm? I can figure that out in a fucking heartbeat.
21:52 Speaker 01 You know that like your numbers will increase with the said movement.
21:56 Bunnie XO? Right.
21:56 Speaker 01 Versus I'm like, I'm like a path person. Cause I can't do numbers. I'm, I'm just number dyslexic.
22:02 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
22:02 Speaker 01 So I can't do number. I, me and you are literally yin and yang with pattern recognition.
22:07 Bunnie XO? Yeah. Oh, I didn't think of that.
22:08 Speaker 01 It's so cool.
22:09 Bunnie XO? Yeah, yeah. I didn't think of that.
22:10 Speaker 01 You are really good at creation, bro. You are, you're not, you're very, very, very smart when it comes to, um, if you were ever to be like an architect.
22:20 Speaker 03 Because you That's weird. That's what I used to want to be when I was younger. See, because you know. My grandpa said there was no money in it. No, you know the beauty. Oh, my gosh.
22:28 Bunnie XO? I thought there was so much money in architecture.
22:30 Speaker 03 So much money in that. I think he was thinking back home. That's true. Yeah, yeah.
22:34 Bunnie XO? In Chicago or where are you guys at?
22:36 Speaker 03 Southern Illinois.
22:37 Bunnie XO? Southern Illinois, yeah.
22:38 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's where you. That's crazy. That's what I. I know, because that's like where you find the beauty in the structure.
22:44 Bunnie XO? All right, so who's next?
22:45 Speaker 03 Okay, I have a short, kind of funny one. I like this one.
22:48 Bunnie XO? Okay, go.
22:48 Speaker 03 I like it. It's my humor.
22:51 Bunnie XO? Great. Is it dicks and buttholes?
22:53 Speaker 03 No.
22:54 Bunnie XO? Okay.
22:55 Speaker 03 Hell, I had been dating a guy for two years and it was clear he wasn't ready to commit long term, so we ended it. Few days later, he came over to my place to do the super sad and awkward stuff exchange. As he's walking towards his car, he turns around and says my name. I froze, thinking he had maybe changed his mind about our relationship. Then he said,
23:15 Speaker 03 "Do you still have my pizza pops?"
23:21 Bunnie XO? What's a pizza pop?
23:28 Speaker 03 It's so funny to me. She said, "I went to the freezer, took out the box, went outside and threw them at him. Game over." Love that one.
23:40 Bunnie XO? I still want to know what a fucking pizza pop is.
23:43 Speaker 03 Giving it a go. Giving it a go. God, that was so funny. Wait, what's a pizza pop?
23:49 Bunnie XO? I've never heard of a pizza. Is it like a?
23:51 Speaker 03 Oh, they're like pizza rolls.
23:54 Bunnie XO? Where are they from that they call them pizza pops?
23:57 Speaker 03 They're like.
23:59 Speaker 03 Like empanadas. Empanadas. Never mind.
24:01 Bunnie XO? Why did he not just go buy another box?
24:04 Speaker 03 No, my thing is so funny.
24:05 Bunnie XO? That is fucking hilarious.
24:06 Speaker 03 That's something I would do. That's such a good. I don't know why, but it was like such a Napoleon Dynamite moment.
24:10 Bunnie XO? Yeah, literally.
24:12 Speaker 03 God, it's so funny.
24:13 Bunnie XO? All right, guys. Love you so much and we will see you guys next week. Bye.
24:22 Bunnie XO? We use Shopify for our storefront at bunnyxo.com. And one thing I've learned from running an online store is that you definitely don't have to be an ecommerce expert to get started. I think a lot of people get intimidated by the website side of starting a business, but Shopify makes that part so much easier. One of my favorite things is having everything in one place when you're running a business. You already have a million things going on, so the last thing you want is for managing your storefront to be one more thing to stress about. Shopify makes it easy to get your store launched, manage it, and actually focus on selling. They also have pre-built themes and an AI site builder that can help you create a professional looking storefront without having to build a website from scratch. And if a friend asks me about starting a store before the holidays, I tell them, don't wait until Black Friday.
25:07 Bunnie XO? Get it launched. Learn what works for you and have everything ready before that holiday traffic starts coming in. If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com/bunny to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com/B-U-N-N-I-E. Go to Shopify.com/bunny today to hear your first
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