Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game

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• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Speaker 02

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, melodramatic Mark kicks off with coming up behinds, then initiates a terminal hot potato duel. Bullshitting Bob pounds hard, upgrades James's attire, advocates golden pussy, but misses iron lung. Go watch it. Wiggly Wade admits, then displays amnesia, mentions Mark miniskull mane, and struggles with syntax. From podcast longevity to Martha Wash. Heh heh heh heh heh. It's time for Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Hello and welcome to Distractible, the podcast that is definitely not going to end anytime soon. So don't you worry about that. We're going to be here for a while. Don't listen to the rumors. We are here for you, for as long as we need to. Ha ha ha. And you know else is probably going to be here, or at least one of them, Bob and Wade.

• 2:17Speaker 04

  I'm one of them. There was a lot of things said there.

• 2:19Speaker 05

  That were slightly concerning. Well, what was concerning?

• 2:22Speaker 04

  He said, don't listen to the rumors.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't listen to the rumors. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you both some concerned points. Not that that's makes them valid or anything. Just because I'm assigning a point to it doesn't mean that your concerns are validated. I'm just doing this because.

• 2:37Speaker 04

  That's a good reason to do stuff.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Anyway, this is the game show. And yes, it's a game show because points and rewards are offered during every single one of these episodes. Or at least we'll say that to get our ratings up. And I'm your host, Mark, multi hyphenated, talented, weekend losing director. Along with an Emmy losing director. Whatever I do, I'll always get second place. There's, there's no question about that. Always coming up right behind the first place finisher.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  That's a really good place. The best pace even, depending on how you think about it.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure.

• 3:14Speaker 05

  First is the worst. Second is the best I've heard.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Hmm. These are all good sayings. And Wade, you just earned yourself a point.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  But I heard it too.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  I'll tell you why later. But anyway, what we do here first, as we've done every episode since the dawn of time, is talk about our lives because we're very conceited like that. And we want to, we think that our lives are interesting enough to share with you. And you want to listen to it. So that's exactly what we're going to do. Who wants to go first?

• 3:43Speaker 05

  Me.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  I actually heard that at the same time. Who said that first?

• 3:46Speaker 05

  Me. Me.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  That time Bob was slightly ahead. I'll give you one more chance. One more chance.

• 3:52Speaker 05

  Me.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  So slow. Well, Bob got there.

• 3:56Speaker 05

  Oh, I was trying to stick it up.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Uh, you get the first point there. All right. Okay.

• 4:01Speaker 05

  Oh, I wanted to tie it up to be tied with Bob.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  You could never tie with me.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Bob, what's your life?

• 4:07Speaker 04

  My life is pretty good. The walk in 365 miles is going well, still on pace through today. And I think I'm ahead a couple of miles. It's good. It's good. It's not getting as easier as I would have hoped, but also I'm going to start turning up the speed a little bit. So it's going to get harder, but then it's going to get way easier. Really fast. Cause that's how exercising works. I try hard like twice and then it's all easy. So I'm looking forward to it.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  I think, I think that is actually how it works.

• 4:35Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Okay, soundboard Wade.

• 4:38Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  I thought I had another thing.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  And we pass it to Wade.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  Ah dang it.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Almost out of there, almost at it.

• 4:45Speaker 05

  Welcome, welcome, welcome back everyone. Not gonna lie, after one of the recent episodes we did, Bob was talking about some good old sausage gravy. I have convinced my family that we are getting together and they are making me some gravy and I can't wait.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  That's great, man. Great. This, I remember you talking about some sausage gravy.

• 5:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, Bob talked about it and I was like, you guys won't believe what Bob brought up on the podcast, some good old fashioned sausage gravy. You guys should totally make some and invite me over.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  You're not interested in, in making it? In learning about that or participating in that?

• 5:17Speaker 05

  Oh, no, no, no. Nothing's quite like having some good old mom-made food.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  It's fun to learn new skills. It's, it's pretty fun. It's pretty fulfilling, you know?

• 5:25Speaker 05

  Oh, you're right. No interest whatsoever.

• 5:28Speaker 04

  Okay, man.

• 5:29Speaker 05

  Now, we should, we, we could, but no. It was actually a coincidence. I'm totally lying. Damn it, does it make a lie point?

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Wait, what?

• 5:35Speaker 05

  My family was just out of the blue was like, hey, we're gonna make this and they invited us over.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, so there is gravy?

• 5:40Speaker 05

  There is gravy. Just I didn't initiate it. I was just trying to, you know, make it look like I did it.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  The pretext is a lie, but the story is true.

• 5:48Speaker 05

  Story's true. Just like all stories, there's a little bit of fluff, a little bit of filler and a lot of gravy. Like all stories.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  My stories are all a hundred percent true. I don't manifest that for me. I've never exaggerated anything ever in a story I've told on this podcast.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  Listen, Bob.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  What?

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Is that a lie?

• 6:08Speaker 04

  It's clearly not a lie, cuz I said it was true.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Is that a lie?

• 6:13Speaker 04

  No. Ask me again.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Is that a lie? Is that a lie?

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Lie point.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  I continue to worry about my memory. That's the other thing. My memory is so bad. Apparently, I was, uh, talking to Pat and Toon and JP recently, who I record videos with on the YouTube channel. They were like, oh, man, this thing, remember this big story we talked about like two weeks ago? Well, there's an update. I was like, what big story? Was I there? And like, they kept dropping hints as to what it was about and I was like, zero recollection. None. What, are you guys sure I was there? And then they sent like a long paragraph of retelling the whole story. I was like, oh yeah, that. It took retelling the entire story for me to remember them telling me the story.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  I don't know if that's remembering. I think that's just learning.

• 6:58Speaker 05

  But after I learned it, I remembered learning it before. It was like deja vu.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Wait, so it was a story that you've heard before, but they didn't know that you heard it before?

• 7:06Speaker 05

  No, they knew I had. I had forgotten I heard. It wasn't even a story. It was like a real life event that was like a big deal. Like, yeah, remember, remember this thing? And I was like, nope.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  He doesn't remember?

• 7:16Speaker 05

  I actually don't fully remember.

• 7:17Speaker 04

  No, you can't. That's the bit. You can't. The bits can't be real.

• 7:20Speaker 05

  No, it kind of. That's the thing that it kind of is. Like, it was one of the, it was one of those stories about like not picking up the hints that someone was into you.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Is that a thing you deal with on a regular basis? I guess you wouldn't know, would you?

• 7:32Speaker 05

  I hope my wife's into me. I'll have to record some of our interactions and see if someone, some expert helped me figure it out.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  You should covertly record some of your interactions and then post them anonymously online. Then you can see what she really thinks. And nothing else bad will come from that.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  Wait, I'm gonna tell you this right now because this is part of it. I've written a conditional thing down. At the end of this episode, I'm gonna ask you if you remember even the thing that this point is related to. You don't have to remember the story.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  He's not gonna.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  But if you remember, I'll give you this point.

• 8:05Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  I got this in the bag.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  It's weird that like, I can recollect an epic rap battle of history, full lyrics. I can picture the whole thing. But I've not heard in like five years. And then something important from like a week ago gets brought up, but I'm like, I have no idea who that is. It's like, that, that's your relative. Oh, have I ever met them? Only your whole life.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  Like, I'm exaggerating slightly, but like there, there have been moments where like, I don't know if I'm just that spacey. Or if my hard drives are so full of crap that like important stuff's getting deleted, but.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  I think that's how it works.

• 8:39Speaker 05

  The memory issues have been a little scary. Not gonna lie. They've been a little scary.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  Simulation's breaking down. We're gonna be careful, boys.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  All right, I won't. But, you know, what can you do?

• 8:49Speaker 05

  Unplug me so I can be the bald guy that wants the steak.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Wait, no, you're already in.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Can we talk about that last time?

• 8:55Speaker 05

  I remembered something.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  That's a callback, so I'm gonna remember that you have one callback. But you're already in the simulation and you are the bald guy. And you do love steak.

• 9:05Speaker 05

  Can I have a steak?

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, actually, you could order a steak right now. You could go to the grocery store and get a steak.

• 9:10Speaker 05

  Ah, nothing sounds good.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  But it's tender, juicy. I know it's not the Lord of the Rings scene with the tomatoes, but I imagine I'm reimagining that scene where he's like, I know the steak is tender, juicy.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  That scene whistles its way into so many things in my life. There's anything even remotely similar to that guy eating. My brain is like, you remember that scene?

• 9:35Speaker 05

  Tomatoes.

• 9:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Tomatoes, yep. Mm-hmm. Tomatoes.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  Boil them, mash them, stick it in a pescetti.

• 9:45Speaker 05

  Anything else?

• 9:48Speaker 03

  I didn't mean to like, I was trying to think of a way like, all right, I get, I get what you're going for.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  And it was so funny. We're just gonna skip right past it.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  I knew that they were gonna add post laughter, like crowd laughter. So I was just waiting for that to die down. That's what that was.

• 10:03Speaker 05

  Do we do that? Do we have laugh tracks?

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. The editors prop us up a lot.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 05

  Distractible was filmed in front of a live studio audience.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Well, that's a lie.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  I could tell lies?

• 10:16Speaker 03

  No, I'm not gonna do that. If I said all, because that's just a joke, and jokes are mostly untrue, if I was like, has to be an actual lie. A lie with intention, maybe. Well, I mean, I'm just gonna say that right now, but we can codify it in the Constitution later.

• 10:30Speaker 05

  So if you misremember something, are you lying, even if it's unintentional?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Or are you joking?

• 10:35Speaker 03

  I don't think that misremembering can count as lying.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  A lie has to have intent, right?

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, you have, a lie means that you know it's not true.

• 10:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're acknowledging truth, you're just choosing to say the opposite.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  So if you're delusional, your delusions aren't lies.

• 10:51Speaker 05

  You're bullshitting.

• 10:52Speaker 04

  Even if they're untrue.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:54Speaker 05

  That makes me want to read some philosophy papers.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Bobby, you didn't get much time for Small Duck. Do you have anything else before we move on?

• 10:59Speaker 04

  I really actually don't have a whole lot new. Have I told you guys James is wearing big boy underpants these days?

• 11:07Speaker 05

  Oh, that's cool. That's huge.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  He's like, he did it. He's potty trained. He's like a whole person now. Not that he wasn't a whole person before, but him, him standing up and just be like, I gotta pee is hilarious because it just is. I don't know.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Is his grip strength growing exponentially with his size?

• 11:25Speaker 04

  Kind of. He's terrifyingly strong. He could probably beat me up if he caught me off guard. If, if he got the first shot in and he caught me at the right moment, he could probably take me already.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  This little shore you can right to your nuts, just.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  How tall is he now?

• 11:42Speaker 04

  Somewhere in the neighborhood of forty inches. How many feet is that?

• 11:46Speaker 05

  Three, three and a half?

• 11:47Speaker 04

  Three and a half feet, something like that.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  Careful, Mark, he's catching up.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Come on, man! Goddamn! Come on, man!

• 11:56Speaker 05

  Can I get a point for that?

• 11:57Speaker 03

  I'm gonna put on the wheel preemptively, mentioned Mark's height the most.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  I'm winning! Wait, is that good, or do you lose a point for that one?

• 12:08Speaker 03

  We don't have many minus points, so let's make that a minus. That'll be a minus.

• 12:13Speaker 05

  Kind of like when our heights are compared.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 12:17Speaker 05

  I don't know, just laugh.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  No one's laughing. Editors, no, please, take the studio out of here!

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Put him in Guam!

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout, or save at the pump. You can even save up to thirty-five dollars on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalized offers tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger. Fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See site or store for details.

• 13:30Speaker 04

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• 13:48Speaker 03

  No, seriously, their 5G home internet speeds are officially the fastest, which means that when you're downletting all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files, and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know?

• 14:07Speaker 05

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• 14:31Speaker 03

  Who's ready for, I don't know what to name this game?

• 14:40Speaker 05

  Just call it the perfectest crime, no matter what it actually is.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  No, no, it's not that, it's not that. Wade, you got a segue point to go into this because you said something that was kind of like what the game is gonna be.

• 14:50Speaker 05

  Oh, hell yeah, what was that?

• 14:51Speaker 03

  You took a phrase and you changed the ending of it, right? And that's kind of what this is. We're playing a mixture of hot potato-

• 14:58Speaker 04

  With a grenade.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  And- Sentence get longer. And it funny.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  With a grenade?

• 15:04Speaker 03

  With a grenade.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  I have to explain this fully, so that we all are on the same page. I have my random timer. It's set from 30 seconds to 90 seconds, so it'll average out to be about a minute, but it could be anywhere in there. When the timer goes off, you guys are taking turns doing the game. When the timer goes off, whoever's holding the grenade, boom, dead, gone, obliterated, destroyed. The other person gets a point.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Easy, simple.

• 15:30Speaker 05

  I feel like we did the opposite, and it worked out great for Bob, and I have a bad feeling somehow this is also gonna work out great for Bob, and I'm already mad about it.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  No, if we did the opposite, and I did well, we're doing the opposite of that, and now you'll do well, because that's the opposite.

• 15:43Speaker 05

  You'd think that logically, but somehow.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  I've got some extra structure here for this, right? So it's not gonna be completely open-ended, or it is gonna be open-ended, but it starts with a base, right? So for example, my favorite- Color is blank. That'll be whoever's going first, they're prompt and they have one word for the first sentence. Now where it gets complicated is the other person then has to make that two words. And you could just string it together like blue, baby blue. But when you get to three, you have to keep going and the sentence still has to be a complete sentence with non gibberish words and no repeating words. You can't do very, very blue. You can't do baby, baby blue.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Do we have to keep what we're given and add to it?

• 16:32Speaker 03

  No, no, no. You can do whatever you want.

• 16:35Speaker 04

  You just need to keep adding another total word.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  So you get the same beginning of it. This way you don't have to continue because it wouldn't make any sense if they said blue.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  So we only add to the end.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. You have to add to the end where the blank is. You both are adding at the same spot and you're both starting over. So when I get to, let's say Bob's going first. I would say my favorite color is, and then you would say the rest. And then I would go to Wade and he, I would say my favorite color is, or it could do it differently and you start the sentence. You guys say it and otherwise not, whatever feels out, I'll do it first, just for the first round, we'll feel how that feels. And if you guys are comfortable, you can just like take out, take the rest of it away and say the sentence back and forth. And that way it's just you guys and I'll just play judge, making sure that no one's cheating. No one's doing illogical sentences and no one's repeating what the other person said too specifically. I'm going to be loosey goosey about that one. You can definitely build off of each other.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  But if, if you say baby blue and then like kinda baby blue, I'm going to be like, you're first warning. And then, you know, so the variety stays there, but I'll, I'll play it loose.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck the word kinda. Kinda is for idiots.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Okay. Does this all make sense?

• 17:42Speaker 04

  I think it does.

• 17:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm going to break all the rules, but I'm excited for it.

• 17:45Speaker 04

  I didn't mean to sound so shocked, but I think, I think it does.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it's a, it's a little complicated because there's a few more rules, but I think that it should work. All right. Head for Wade, tails for Bob.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  That's bald.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, and he goes first. All right.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Bald, bald, bald, bald.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  When I give you the prompt, as soon as I say what the sentence is, I will probably say it again just so you really get it. Well, actually, no, I won't say it again because I'm gonna say it again when I give it to Bob and then I'll, I'll say it first to be each of you this time. One word, then two more words after my prompt, then three, then four, then five, then six. Whoever is stuck on their turn, by the time the timer goes off and the grenade explodes, loses.

• 18:29Speaker 05

  That's what I'm saying. I'm already thinking of my victory speech. I'm pretty excited about this one. I'm already worried. Whenever he said favorite color, my first thought was fish. So I'm excited.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Okay, good. Okay, good. I would count that for the first, but then you get a warning. I would be like, okay, but get.

• 18:42Speaker 05

  Fish is a color.

• 18:44Speaker 04

  Timer wasn't on. That was, that was outside the bounds.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, this is not, we're not doing favorite color. That was throwaway example.

• 18:50Speaker 05

  Oh, good. I was prepared for it. Let's do something else then.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Were you thinking nothing but colors?

• 18:55Speaker 05

  I was trying.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Ah, my favorite improv game. Think about this sentence for five minutes and then let's make it, let's do one of those things you planned.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  We can start with that if you want to.

• 19:05Speaker 05

  No, no, no. I'm having a slow brain day. It'll be much funnier if I don't know the prompt.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  So, Wade, your prompt.

• 19:11Speaker 05

  Give me liberty or give me. All right. Give me liberty or give me. Do I not start now?

• 19:20Speaker 03

  No, I just thought you were just gonna say.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  You said all right, like that was the answer.

• 19:26Speaker 05

  Oh, no, no.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  All right, so give me liberty, give me all right. All right, Bob.

• 19:30Speaker 05

  I thought we had to say the whole thing.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  Give me liberty or give me all right. Wait.

• 19:37Speaker 04

  Oh, wait, we're not supposed to do that. No, I, I remember. Right, right. I messed up.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  This will be a warm up round. Yeah. Wait.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  Give me liberty or give me the death penalty. Bob.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  Give me liberty or give me three golden cat babies.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  I think you got it.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, victory speech coming in hot.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  All right, okay. I knew we needed a test around. We're gonna wash our hands of that one.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  What I'm gonna do to help you out, instead of just going, Bob, I'm gonna say the sentence, and then all you need to worry about is saying the last words. So I'll be your Mad Lib book. You are the just the blank. And we'll try that and feel that out, okay?

• 20:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, we don't get to set the pace. Mark sets the pace. We just have to keep going.

• 20:25Speaker 05

  All right.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  Very explicitly not supposed to build off of each other. I'll learn.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Your instincts are so strong. Hey, I'm not gonna stop you if you do. If it makes sense, then go for it, man. But at the end of the day, so long as the sentence makes sense, that's all we're going for.

• 20:38Speaker 05

  I think we're just used to that style where we build off of each other.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  Nah, this is new. This is fresh. We just have to adapt.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Wait, I'm gonna let you go first again. There were no points awarded in that last one.

• 20:48Speaker 05

  All right.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Dear Penthouse Forum.

• 20:53Speaker 05

  Hi.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Bob, dear Penthouse Forum.

• 20:58Speaker 04

  I fucked.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Wait, dear Penthouse Forum.

• 21:02Speaker 05

  What up, dog?

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Bob, dear Penthouse Forum.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  She finally said yes.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  That's great. Wade, dear Penthouse Forum.

• 21:11Speaker 05

  I really thought I could.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Dear Penthouse Forum, Bob.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  Sometimes I wonder why she left.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  Sometimes I wonder why she left. Yes. Wade, dear Penthouse Forum. I couldn't get it in there right. That was good. Dear Penthouse Forum.

• 21:30Speaker 04

  I had sex with a really hot lady.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Dear Penthouse Forum.

• 21:35Speaker 05

  I don't even know why I'm writing.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  Oh, that's only eight. That was only eight. I don't even know why I'm writing. Yeah, you need nine.

• 21:44Speaker 05

  I do not even know why I am writing.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  You know what I'm saying?

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Wait, let's do a check. I do not even know why I am writing. You did it. You shook the grenade at Bob at the last second. Alright Wade, congratulations. You, you got Dear Penthouse Forum point.

• 22:04Speaker 05

  Man, I'm better with words than I am at counting I've learned.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  I'm cool with reading the prompts to you. I like you guys just focusing on just the sentences because it makes it easier to count.

• 22:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think it's fine like that.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, so I'll just keep doing that. Bob, are you ready?

• 22:19Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  Oh, Canada, our-

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Country.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Oh, Canada, our-

• 22:29Speaker 04

  Hot mama.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Oh, Canada, our-

• 22:35Speaker 04

  And native land.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, Canada, our-

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Big spoon, little spoon. What?

• 22:45Speaker 03

  Hey, look, if you, I'm gonna take our and native land. I'm gonna take big spoon, little-

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Alright, alright, alright.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Oh, Canada, our-

• 22:53Speaker 04

  Place with lots of bears.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Oh, Canada, our-

• 23:00Speaker 05

  Place that's way too big, I-

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Dragon.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Say that again. Just turn it into an A and you've got it. Instead of I.

• 23:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, A-Y-E-I.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  Hurry, say it!

• 23:18Speaker 05

  I-A.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Say that's that whole thing! Wade!

• 23:22Speaker 05

  Oh!

• 23:22Speaker 04

  No, don't. Take your time.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  The place that's too big for A? What the fuck? Blimey!

• 23:29Speaker 04

  He doesn't remember what he said.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  Blimey glom! You don't remember what you just said. No, that's the problem! I don't remember! We've been over this!

• 23:40Speaker 04

  I think I was at a distinct advantage when Wade had to remember words previously.

• 23:47Speaker 05

  Oh, sorry, moving on to eight.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, you were very close. If you had said A instead of I, I would have, I would have given that to you, so.

• 23:54Speaker 05

  Ah, damn the vowels.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  That was very good. Wait, your sentence is, everybody loves when I.

• 24:03Speaker 05

  Dance.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Bob, everyone loves when I.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  Get down.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  Wade, everyone loves when I.

• 24:10Speaker 05

  Have bald head.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  Everyone loves when I.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  Pull up my pants.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Everyone loves when I.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  Smooch twice then run away.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Everyone loves when I.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  Bring ice cream to the party.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  Yes, that's good. Wade, everyone loves when I.

• 24:30Speaker 05

  Break it down philosophically at the house.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Wait, break it down philosophically at the house. Yes, yes. Uh, Bob, everyone loves when I.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Get lost, but then remember where I'm going.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Good. Wade, everyone loves when I.

• 24:46Speaker 05

  Totally don't know where I am or what doing.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  I'll let that slide, but you're on thin ice. Bob, everyone loves when I.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  Go to Africa, then play that song by Toto.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  To, to, go to Africa, then play that song by To, oh, Toto's one word. Toto Band.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  I gave Wade one, I'll give you one. Wade, everyone loves when I.

• 25:11Speaker 05

  Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  I think you got it.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost.

• 25:19Speaker 04

  Eleven. He was doing eleven? Oh, no.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  You got it.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Wait, did I do nine, though?

• 25:25Speaker 03

  You did ten, you started with nine and you needed one more for ten. That was clutch, Wade. That point goes to you.

• 25:31Speaker 05

  I didn't even count the words. That just came out of my mouth and happened to work.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  All right, luck's on your side. You get the, uh, uh, everyone loves me point. You guys are doing amazingly.

• 25:40Speaker 05

  Thirty minutes of heart racing.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  It's been like five minutes, buddy.

• 25:45Speaker 04

  It's not thirty minutes at all. It's been.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  I know that this is probably stressful for you guys. It's very fun.

• 25:53Speaker 05

  As soon as it gets higher than five, panic starts to set in.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  It's funny.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  I'm struggling to count these at the same time. You guys are so fast. If that comes again, where it's, it's like, I think we need to stop and make sure I might just stop the timer. So we can confirm if, if I do that. I don't know if I have that control.

• 26:12Speaker 05

  It's tough when it's getting to be like the, like I said, seven or plus. It's, it's hard to count them while we're doing it live.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  I have a pause resume button, so I will pause it for things that I'm like, hold on, pause. I need to count that that way. It's more fair to the other person so that they can have time to actually get that underway for the next one. So Bob, are you ready?

• 26:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  Eenie meenie minie.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Wait.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Eenie meenie minie.

• 26:40Speaker 05

  Oh no.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  Eenie meenie minie.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  Mo, you lose.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Eenie meenie minie.

• 26:48Speaker 05

  Hey, Wade was here.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Yes, eenie meenie minie.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  Mo money mo problems, right?

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yep, eenie meenie minie.

• 26:58Speaker 05

  I really don't know what next.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Oh, you're on thin ice, man. You're on thin ice. Eenie meenie minie, Bob.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Mo, meanie, meanie, minie, mo me, bo. Oh, yeah, that's not it. How many was I supposed to do?

• 27:16Speaker 05

  You needed seven.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  I would have taken it. I would have taken it if you had just finished with one more word. You got up to six, I think. And then it was like.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Die surrender. That was just nonsense words. That didn't.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  That's fair. That's fair. That's fair.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  I thought Wade was about to lose.

• 27:31Speaker 05

  I did too.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  I gotta stop giving up early.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  I also have no idea how to spell eenie meenie minie.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  E E N I E M E E N I E M E I N I E M O.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Why did you sound like speak and spell?

• 27:44Speaker 05

  M E N I E.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  I was just enunciating so you could get all those cool letters I was giving you.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Wade, are you ready?

• 27:52Speaker 05

  Oh, me? Yes.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Take me out to the.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Take me out to the.

• 28:00Speaker 04

  Ball game.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, take me out to the small circus tent. Take me out to the.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  Good side of town.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  Me out to the Ohio. No, wait, maybe California. Take me out to the.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Movies to go see Hitch. No, I was six. Aw, man, if only I could count.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Come on, man. Come on.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Now, go movies to go see Hitch now.

• 28:33Speaker 03

  It was like Iron Lung right there, man. All right, go ahead. Go ahead. It's fine. Oh, sorry. Take me. I'm still singing this song, I guess. Take me out to the.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  Showing of Iron Lung that's happening right now.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  That's what I thought. Oh, shit. Oh.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  Am I dead?

• 28:53Speaker 03

  No, sorry. I meant to hit pause. I hit stop. I'm gonna put 30 seconds on the clock. That sound fair?

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Yes. I'm gonna be honest. I was gonna do Iron Lung on my first one and then I bailed because I thought I had to do five and I was like, I didn't pace it out correctly. Fuck.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  No, it would have been perfect. All right. Whose turn is it? I think me and I have to do nine. You went first. You would have to. Yeah, you have odd. So, yes. All right. Are you ready?

• 29:18Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  Take me out.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  What? Invalid. What the fuck? Invalid time selection?

• 29:24Speaker 03

  I don't remember that as part of the song.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  All right, here we go. Take me out to the.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  Wait, no invalid time selection, but I thought I did. Right? Fuck, that's 11.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  That's too many. Take me out to the. No, no, Bobby, you're good.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  Blow me up and I will tell you more secrets.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  I think that was 10. Wait, pausing, pausing. Blow me up and I will tell you more secrets. Damn it, Stan. All right, you're still on.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  Why did I conjugate?

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Uh, uh, uh, uh, fucking take me out to the. Wade, you, you need nine.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  I'm an owl. Fuck, kill me.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Wait. Whoohoo, whoohoo, whoohoo, I'm an owl, fuck it, kill me. Almost if you just said whoohoo, if you just said whoohoo, I'm an owl.

• 30:18Speaker 05

  There's no recovering once I fuck up, my brain's just like, no, you failure, you're dead.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Bob, you're up first. Are you ready?

• 30:25Speaker 04

  Yup.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  Your sentence in full is, stick your hands up now.

• 30:30Speaker 04

  Dance.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Good. Stick your hands up now.

• 30:33Speaker 05

  Lick me.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Stick your hands up now.

• 30:37Speaker 04

  Don't lick me.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  Stick your hands up now.

• 30:43Speaker 05

  Smell my big foot.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  One of you's evil, one of you's for good. Stick your hands up now.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  I smell his feet, not me.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Stick your hands up now.

• 30:56Speaker 05

  Prepare me a delicious meal.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Uh oh, you need six.

• 31:01Speaker 05

  Quickly.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Alright, I'll take it. Bob, stick your hands up now.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Put the money in the bag, fast.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Stick your hands up now.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Toss me a coin for I am witcher.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Alright, sure. Stick your hands up now.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  Put your hands down. Now stick your left foot out.

• 31:23Speaker 03

  Yes, that's good. Stick your hands up now.

• 31:26Speaker 05

  Tell me a tale about your ancestors, my lovely friend.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  No, one too many, oh, one too many. I do ten. You did eleven. Fuck!

• 31:36Speaker 04

  That's one more than ten.

• 31:38Speaker 05

  Less lovely friend. No, just friend.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Boom. Oh, too bad. Oh my god. Okay, I forgot. Bob, you won take me out, right?

• 31:46Speaker 04

  Uh, yes. Wade sort of forfeit that one.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 31:51Speaker 04

  The ballgame one.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  Was that the whoohoo, I'm an owl?

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 31:55Speaker 05

  No, guys, that's my best effort.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  Whoohoo, whoohoo, I'm an owl, fucking kill me.

• 32:03Speaker 05

  Alright, my brain might have panicked a little bit, okay?

• 32:06Speaker 04

  If you didn't swear so much, that would have been a great answer.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  I thought I would be given points for like bonus funny moments in there, but I have no time to even remember them. So I got, so it's just purely by rounds.

• 32:18Speaker 05

  This is a good game.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  I just need a name for it.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  I find that our limit is somewhere between eight and 12 syllables.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  It really breaks down there. It really breaks down.

• 32:27Speaker 05

  Eight, twelve words really falls apart.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Okay, wait, you're back up. Okay. Your sentence is, frankly, my dear, I quit. Good. Frankly, my dear, I.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Hate you.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  Oh, frankly, my dear, I.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  Think you're great.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  Frankly, my dear, I.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Just want some IHOP.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Just want some, yeah. Frankly, my dear, I.

• 32:52Speaker 05

  Want to make some babies.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Damn. Frankly, my dear, I.

• 32:56Speaker 04

  Can't find my wallet. You seen?

• 33:01Speaker 03

  And I, frankly, my dear, I.

• 33:04Speaker 05

  Invested all of our money very poorly.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Eee, that's six.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  Invested all of our money very poorly.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  All of our money? Okay, you're good.

• 33:12Speaker 05

  All of our money very poorly.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  You're good. Okay, got, you're good. I didn't hear the of. Good. Okay. Frankly, my dear, I.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  Don't think the Yankees can do it again this year.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Ooh, was that one too many?

• 33:23Speaker 04

  That was one too many. I don't think the Yankees can do it again. Fuck. That's one too few. Frankly, my dear, I hate this game because counting is so hard.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  What the fuck, man? That's too many.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  No, that was eight.

• 33:37Speaker 05

  I hate this game because counting is too hard?

• 33:40Speaker 04

  No.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, resuming, Cider.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  I can't count to the number seven or eight. Fuck, no, god shit, damn it.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Come on, you have time, you have time.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  Stink at games where you have to count.

• 34:01Speaker 05

  I don't even know what number you need anymore.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  He needs eight, he needs eight. You have time.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  I can't count to eight. Please help me.

• 34:10Speaker 03

  Yes. Frankly, my dear, I.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  Don't need help counting to nine after Bob's turn.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  It's exploding.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Either that was the most genius play by Bob to drain the time perfectly.

• 34:28Speaker 04

  Nailed it. I was looking at Mark's eyes, reading the numbers in the reflection. Who would just gauging it out. So I knew Wade would lose as soon as I.

• 34:37Speaker 05

  Man, that ice had to have been paper thin by the end of that.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Hey, you didn't say you didn't get to try again. He just said it had to make sense.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, yeah. You, you just keep trying until, and usually that would mean that the timer would have more chance to blow up right then and there.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's such a short timer, relatively speaking. I can't believe I survived that long on it.

• 34:57Speaker 03

  That was the long, it actually, that one started perfectly at one minute 30. So that was the longest round we've had so far.

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Used it perfectly.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  Wade, if you think it's cheating, I will not say you still have time.

• 35:08Speaker 05

  Oh, no, I don't care. That's fine.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Okay, cool. All right, cool.

• 35:10Speaker 05

  Oh, man, all this counting is really great for this headache. I'm

• 35:15Speaker 05

  like, man, why does my head hurt so bad? Oh, yeah, it hasn't stopped.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  Take some Advil or something? I don't know. What do you got? What are you doing?

• 35:20Speaker 05

  I took Excedrin. I took the big boy pills.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  You ready?

• 35:23Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Here we go. Don't move. It's

• 35:28Speaker 04

  There.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Don't move. It's

• 35:31Speaker 05

  My ass.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Don't move. It's

• 35:34Speaker 04

  Gonna see us.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Don't move. It's

• 35:37Speaker 05

  Too small to notice.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  Don't move. It's

• 35:39Speaker 04

  Vision is based on movement.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Yes, don't move. It's

• 35:44Speaker 05

  A delicious tray of dark chocolates.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  Oh, don't move. It's

• 35:49Speaker 04

  Time for our hourly standstill.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  Is standstill two words?

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Is standstill two words? Hold on. Let's confer.

• 35:57Speaker 04

  I was treating it as two words. I don't know if that's accurate.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  I, I also thought two words.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  In that context, one word. I paused it. I'm resuming it right now.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Time for our hourly standstill moment.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  Oh, did you get that in?

• 36:12Speaker 04

  I, it was pretty close. I couldn't tell you if I beat it or not.

• 36:16Speaker 05

  I feel like he held the letter T. So he like got the words out, but like

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Wade, I'll leave it up to you.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  I know how to figure this out. I'll flip a coin.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  All right, sure. Bob, you want heads or tails? I'll let you call it.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Heads. I faked out the universe.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  Oh!

• 36:38Speaker 05

  That's good for you, right?

• 36:40Speaker 04

  I win?

• 36:41Speaker 03

  You did win that one, yeah, by the skin of your hands.

• 36:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz that was, that was so close, it's hard for me to even know, so.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz I don't know what was video lag, I don't know what was just there, it was really down to the wire.

• 36:51Speaker 05

  I don't know if I just didn't process the alarm till after the sentence, or like, cuz it was, it was right there at the end of the word moment.

• 36:58Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  When you shop Kroger delivery, you can expect the savings you love and fresh groceries delivered right to your door. From delicious produce to everyday essentials, enjoy the convenience of delivery and the trusted selection you've come to know from Kroger. Because bringing you fresh, quality groceries is what we do best. Right now, enjoy free delivery on orders of fifty dollars or more with your digital coupon. Restrictions apply, see site for details. Kroger, fresh for everyone.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  I actually wanna do one more, but I'll give you a choice from what I have.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  You said there was a song, is it the song?

• 38:05Speaker 03

  No, the other song was Take Me Out To The Ball Game. I can get another song if you guys have another one that you want.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  Well, if you had one you wanted, that's fine, I just, I like the song ones too, those are funny.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Cuz I have, two's a company, but three's blank, I'd buy that for a blank, officer, you have no evidence that I, some of these are longer, I was going for short ones, and I got like, cut, cut, I need more, blank. Babe, you forgot your, tho- those are the options of what we can go with if you want those, or I can come up with another song.

• 38:33Speaker 05

  You do a song, I think song sounds fun.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  Alright, let me get, what's a, what's a little like, what's a lullaby, what's a song, let me, let me look up.

• 38:40Speaker 05

  How about Rockabye Bobby?

• 38:41Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 38:43Speaker 04

  Just a small-town girl. Everybody dance!

• 38:50Speaker 04

  Can't do that voice. I just love like, we made it to nine. Everybody dance soon, but not right now, cuz it's not time for dancing on the floor right now.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Alright, we can do that one if you want.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  Oh fuck, no, that was my only one.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  Are you boys ready?

• 39:10Speaker 05

  Who's going first?

• 39:11Speaker 04

  You.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  Do I get to sing this every time?

• 39:16Speaker 05

  Up to you, man, you're the host.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  God, fuck, alright.

• 39:18Speaker 04

  Everybody.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck, man, alright, hold on a second.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Everybody dance.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna do that. No, I can't do that every time. Alright.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Everybody dance now.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  No, fuck, oh god, not now, fuck, god. Where's the blank? Hold on. Bum bum bum.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  Everybody.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  It sounds so bad when I just don't go into it.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Everybody dance.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  Everybody dance.

• 39:47Speaker 04

  This is the best.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  Right now.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Oh god, oh god.

• 39:55Speaker 05

  It's hard when you don't sing the first part to continue the song in that pitch.

• 39:59Speaker 04

  This is the best trap we've ever laid for the host.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  He heard that and was like, oh, that would be funny.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm gonna resume. Bob, you got that one, so it's gonna be you, Wade. You need three.

• 40:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Fuck. Everybody.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Fuck you guys.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  I'm gonna pee my pants, holy fuck.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Everybody dance.

• 40:38Speaker 05

  In a moment.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Everybody dance.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  However you want, dude.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  Everybody dance.

• 40:47Speaker 05

  Right now or else, something?

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Everybody dance.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Whenever you want to, I, hmm, guess?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Yes, okay. Everybody dance.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  Right now or else, okay, what? Lots?

• 41:07Speaker 05

  What did you say?

• 41:08Speaker 04

  What?

• 41:09Speaker 05

  Right now or I don't fucking remember. How do you not remember? It's me!

• 41:15Speaker 03

  I paused it.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Right now or else I'll cry lots?

• 41:19Speaker 03

  That would be seven. I thi- eh, else uh?

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got seven.

• 41:23Speaker 05

  And now or else I'll cry lots.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Bob. Everett!

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck me, man. Eh, everybody dance!

• 41:40Speaker 04

  To the song we're playing right now for you.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  Ooh, no, one too many, one too many!

• 41:46Speaker 04

  For the song that we're playing right now.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  For the song we're play- that we're playing or?

• 41:51Speaker 04

  That we're playing right now.

• 41:52Speaker 03

  We're playing right now. Yes, okay. Everybody dance now! Fuck, sorry, hold on. Everybody dance! Quickly and quietly or else I'll miss your dance!

• 42:03Speaker 05

  To fuck quickly and quietly or else I'll miss your dan- yes.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Everybody dance!

• 42:09Speaker 04

  Appropriately but cool but not too cool or I'll feel bad.

• 42:15Speaker 03

  What? It was at one second, hold on.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  Appropriately but cool but not too cool or I'll feel bad. Oh wait, is that 11?

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 42:24Speaker 04

  No!

• 42:25Speaker 05

  You have a second to do it.

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Okay, I can do this, I can do this.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Okay, I'll, I'll cue you in. It's like, just like, they do in the show business, alright. Everybody dance!

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Appropriately but cool but not too cool or I'll feel bad!

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Fuck, sorry.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  Just a repeated explosion. I cut out one word, I cut out else.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Then if you did that, then that did get in there.

• 42:55Speaker 05

  I didn't even listen to the words, I just was like, I'm listening, there was the alarm and then you got it out. That one wasn't even close, you just did it.

• 43:01Speaker 04

  I was ready.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  I paused and unpause a lot, but I think it was fair between the both of you who I paused and unpause for. That was clutch. Again, I did say what the last second was, but, so whether or not that-

• 43:13Speaker 05

  No, that's fine, I told you that was fine.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  Wait, was that still 11 though?

• 43:17Speaker 05

  I don't know, because I don't know exactly what you said.

• 43:19Speaker 04

  Appropriately but cool but not too cool or I'll feel bad. So it was 12 before. Shit.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Shit. Oh.

• 43:31Speaker 05

  That was an impressive failure.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  We'll confirm, we'll confirm, the editors will confirm, we'll make that a conditional. But if that's what you said, and I do remember you saying appropriately at the beginning again, then that would go to Wade. By the skin of everyone's teeth, and I will never sing again.

• 43:50Speaker 05

  That was impressive, done the last that you even got, you got even more words in one second.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  It was, it was very, very good.

• 43:56Speaker 05

  You know, if it comes down to a timer at the end of the fourth quarter, I'm giving Bob the ball.

• 44:00Speaker 04

  So long as the ball is talking and I know what I'm supposed to say, it's guaranteed.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  All right, Wade, do you remember?

• 44:10Speaker 05

  No.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Are you sure?

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Are you sure?

• 44:15Speaker 04

  Cause what you need to remember seems doable.

• 44:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I, I, I remembered, I needed to tell you that I remembered that I forgot.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  Can you give me, uh, any detail about the thing?

• 44:27Speaker 05

  Was it story related or podcast related? Can I phone a friend?

• 44:34Speaker 03

  All right, I think that's, I'll give you 10 seconds.

• 44:39Speaker 05

  Warn me when I get to one.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  Five, four, three, two.

• 44:45Speaker 05

  Friends, friends, I forgot friend's story.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  Technically.

• 44:53Speaker 04

  Is that specific enough for you, Mark?

• 44:55Speaker 03

  I was hoping you would say something along the lines of that you, it was like the, this girl didn't know that you had a crush on her. That was the only nugget that came out of that thing. But you did remember that you were told a story that were friends. Bob, do you think that's fair?

• 45:10Speaker 04

  I mean, I, I remembered what you were saying as if he remembered that he needed to remember something, then that would be adequate. That's what I thought. If I'm being completely honest and above board, he did remember something.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  All right, then we're confirming that conditional point. Wade, good job. Your memory's improving.

• 45:33Speaker 05

  I got a tear in my eye, man. I was trying so hard to think. I think I burst a tear duct. Can you do that?

• 45:38Speaker 03

  I don't think so, but that, that. Pretty cool. All right. The point stand is follows. Bob, you have the concerned point. The first small talk point, easy workouts. You have a lie point, so that is conditional. You got big boy undies and I also tied that in because I mean, it's might be a spoiler, but in Dungeon Crawler Carl in the first book, there's a thing about big boy undies.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  That's pretty early on. Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, it made me laugh. Okay, you won the old candidate round. You got to take me out to the stick your hands up. Don't move. So you are going in with eight points. Wade, you got the concern point. You got the segue point gravy part two. You did remember. Dear penthouse forum round. Everyone loves when I iny meeny miny and then everybody dance. You have eight to Bob's eight. It is tied, but Bob does have a lie point. So there is a conditional there. And I already know what my contribution to the wheel was gonna be, which is whoever mentions my height, the most loses a point.

• 46:37Speaker 04

  Who did that this episode? Who would have did that?

• 46:40Speaker 05

  That's okay. We know our additions never show up in the same episode that they're headed.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  I know, right?

• 46:44Speaker 05

  Okay, for lie points doubled, does that mean they still have to become absolute? Or does that mean they become absolute and are just doubled?

• 46:50Speaker 03

  There can be a negative lie point. That was another thing is like a lie point can be negative.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  Times two is unaffiliated with the absolute. Those are different.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  But I think if it lands on any lie point spot, lie points become valid.

• 47:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, they come into play, right?

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 04

  I feel like that makes sense.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  I think there's a basic lie points are valid. Then there's a lie points are absolute to to obfuscate the negative lie points. And then there's that one, which is another one, but any lie points where I think activates the lie points. All right, let's do it.

• 47:20Speaker 05

  Even, even, yay.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  All right.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Well, good thing it's low, right? Good thing.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  It's probably fine. It's been number one.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  Loudest.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Loudest. Interesting. You both had times where you were shouting. I will say though, when Wade was shouting, he might have been slightly louder.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm an owl, fucking kill me. Yeah, that might have been kinda loud.

• 47:52Speaker 05

  Was that louder than the?

• 47:53Speaker 04

  Everybody dance now!

• 47:55Speaker 03

  I don't think that I did that loud.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Those were both you.

• 47:59Speaker 05

  I thought we both did that.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  Uh, no, no, I think, uh.

• 48:02Speaker 05

  Dude, Mark had me crying, dude.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Oh, look, it wasn't that bad.

• 48:06Speaker 05

  No, is that funny?

• 48:07Speaker 03

  No, okay, alright.

• 48:09Speaker 05

  I thought it was bad, it was funny.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Okay, alright, just spin the wheel again.

• 48:12Speaker 04

  I liked your singing, Mark. I thought it brought a sense of levity and fun to the episode. Oh!

• 48:21Speaker 04

  What the fuck? No!

• 48:24Speaker 03

  The host wins! Holy shit, I forgot that was even a thing!

• 48:29Speaker 04

  I forgot that was on there!

• 48:32Speaker 05

  When is the last time I won, man? The one man show, I guess, but holy fuck, I was like, I got this in the bag!

• 48:38Speaker 04

  It's been like five episodes since you won!

• 48:43Speaker 05

  Fuck! Well, fuck. Alright, I'll take it. You both get to say a loser's speech. That's unprecedented, isn't it?

• 48:51Speaker 04

  I don't think we've landed on that before, yeah.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's never happened, no. I don't know when that was added to the wheel, but man.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  I don't remember when that was added. That's a little old, old one.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  Holy shit, wow. That's crazy. You don't think it was one of the OGs, like the original?

• 49:07Speaker 04

  It's possible, because that's definitely the kind of thing where it was like, oh, how do we populate this? Okay, like, point for Wade, host wins.

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna go loser's speech in order of who had the most points at the end anyway. So Wade, you go first with nine, whatever honor that means to you, that's what you get.

• 49:26Speaker 05

  You know, I feel like the biggest loser, because after getting the previous loud point and being up by a point, I was like, feeling pretty good about my chances. And been on a bit of a losing streak, and I really thought I'd turned it around. And yet, where did that leave me? Back to the bottom.

• 49:39Speaker 03

  Okay, well, very well spoken. Bob, being in second place, maybe you are the biggest loser, I don't know. Depends on all your perspective.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  As the loserist loser of the group, I can say that while it stings to be down here and to technically be behind Wade, it feels good knowing at least Wade didn't win. In that, we can all find some solace.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  I definitely find it because I have not had many wins. I like, I was had a huge win streak at the beginning of the season and then, you know, it kind of fell away. I guess this is my winner's speech, but you know, hey, I'm climbing back because the season is coming to a close and I really would like to win a season. So, hey, it's another one for me. I didn't do much of anything in this episode and we can all forget that that singing in no way contributed to me winning or losing this episode, but hey, I win. So you get to see this guy host another episode. Will it be the perfectest crime? No.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  Almost certainly not, but you never know. You never know. So, thank you, everybody, so much for this. This is amazing. I will host next episode, but you can know that I will host the next episode by following the podcast. You can also go to distractible.shop for all of our beautiful merch that you can find on that website. You can find Bob at Muyskens. That's your last name. Myskerm.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  Close enough.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Find me at Barnes. Or, yeah, Barnes. And, or minion777. I'm Mark and thank you for listening and or watching to this podcast. Unprecedented events happen every week here unless they are completely unprecedented because we forgot we did that episode already. So, thank you.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  That's so true.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  It is. It's true. Podcast out.

• 52:03Speaker 01

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