Get Ready For A Lot of Ligolo

The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo. Reserve your ticket now at ironlung.com. Only in theaters January 30, 2026. Order now at ⁠pandaexpress.com⁠ or a store near you. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 2:01Speaker 04

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, warmed Wade has delivery stalkers, jizzes, gases, takes six inches, then spins for letters, benighted Bob celebrates his son, blows snow, talks erections, fudging rolls, and channels bad Santa, mutilating Mark, reduces blood, confides about captioning, rejects syphilis, bites ass, and sucks quills, from sunlight to merry mass murder. Heh heh heh heh heh. It's time for Get Ready for Lot of Ligolo.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  I swear I ordered a blackout curtain for this window like two weeks ago. And Amazon keeps fucking pushing back the delivery. We've ordered dozens of things for like Christmas and stuff. And this is the one item, I'm, every time I get on, I'm like, God, it's so bright. What the fuck? We're kind of dark and gloomy, so it's nice to have a little bit of brightness in our podcast.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  Oh, no, you kind of, it kind of is nice actually seeing sunlight and stuff. I made me realize I have this window here that I never opened.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  You have a window in front of you?

• 3:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, I got a window right there. I'll, I'll.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  I mean, you don't have to fuck up your whole thing.

• 3:33Speaker 05

  It's gonna fuck up my lighting. Not, I, we're going there, we're going, doing it. My window's over the river and through the woods.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Is that just because it's Christmas time or? Whoa.

• 3:43Speaker 05

  Hey, look who's in the blues era.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Why is the sun blue in LA? What happened?

• 3:49Speaker 05

  It's because I got, all these lights are orange, so I white balance for the orange. So I gotta change the white balance, I guess, a little bit. That's actually really nice. God, I see a tree. This office is so much nicer with that open.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  You're welcome? Uh, if I put a window in here, I could see some dirt. You can have one of those basement windows. I think I know where your office is. You, you basically just have like trees and stuff out there, right? It's like in the, facing like your backyard kind of or whatever, right? I almost think you had a nice nature-y landscape to look at.

• 4:21Speaker 06

  Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of- Wait, no, stop. White balance.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Every comment on every platform this episode gets posted, I would just be like, "Does Mark look blue to you guys? Does something change with Mark's camera? Hang on."

• 4:35Speaker 06

  His face is long and blue today. That's a little better. Distractible, season four, episode 20, scene one, action.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Wait, you look so dark now. Sure you don't want to pop your window open?

• 4:45Speaker 06

  Uh, cut. I don't have a window.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Uh, I think only the director gets to call cut.

• 4:55Speaker 06

  It's me today, I'm the host.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  No, no, you're just the host. I'm pretty sure you would not be the director. I think if anyone here gets to direct, it's probably Mark.

• 5:03Speaker 06

  Oh no, sit in a chair and just tell people what they're doing is wrong? I could do that.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  You've seen him work. Is that how he is? Mark, Mark the set dictator, sits in his chair and never moves a muscle?

• 5:13Speaker 06

  Asks for a coffee, then throws it at the intern. I know how it works.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  A different memory of that.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Oh man, that's because you don't remember.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Are you gonna do the intro, or?

• 5:22Speaker 06

  Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. Nothing has happened prior to this. We are starting right now, in this moment, together. Joined as always by my co-hosts Mark and Bob. Hey guys.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 5:35Speaker 05

  I'm here as well, basking in the glorious sun.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Today, we taught Mark about windows.

• 5:41Speaker 05

  I feel like I've had this discovery on this podcast before. And for some reason, it got closed.

• 5:47Speaker 06

  We are getting brighter. Not me, I have no window.

• 5:51Speaker 05

  Well, that's a shame. You should get one.

• 5:53Speaker 06

  And once again, I don't know if that's how it works when you're underground. I don't think you can just window.

• 5:56Speaker 05

  Do you have a window boxed up on the ground and you just haven't opened it yet?

• 6:00Speaker 06

  There is a box here that I have no idea what's in it. I need to open it and see. It's been here a while.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  It's a window.

• 6:06Speaker 06

  If you're just now joining us for the first time, this is a podcast where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most at the end gets to host the next episode. We usually, and will continue to, start off with some small talk. So, what's been new in your lives, guys? It's, uh, the holidays. It's almost Christmas.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  It is, and it was James's birthday.

• 6:23Speaker 06

  How'd that go? Or how will that have gone?

• 6:25Speaker 03

  Really fun. He got some really fun stuff. Every day, he's obsessed with his new present. That he got, he's having a great time. It was fun. He's three now. Can you believe he's three years old? Does that sound right? I mean, he's not, you guys don't see him every day, so I guess.

• 6:39Speaker 06

  I would believe two, three sounds farfetched. It doesn't feel like it's been three years.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  I, do you guys remember when he was first born and we were, we were recording this? And I would show up and be like, I haven't slept in three days.

• 6:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, that feels like it was last week.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, that feels like it was just happening. This is a very different type of thing than Mark's movie, because the movie has also been going on for quite a while. And I feel like the baby has had less of a direct impact, maybe? Except for just making me real weird and a completely different person. But yeah, he turned three. It's weird.

• 7:10Speaker 05

  I feel like the movie has also made me real weird and a completely different person at times, so.

• 7:15Speaker 06

  Man, what's my excuse?

• 7:17Speaker 03

  They've both been part of the show, really. And Wade does stuff too.

• 7:21Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  I assume you leave that room that you're in that's really dark?

• 7:25Speaker 06

  Not often.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Assume you, you poop in your toilets that don't flush?

• 7:29Speaker 06

  Often enough.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Good job, buddy.

• 7:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, is your shower still exploding?

• 7:34Speaker 06

  No, uh, though we do have hard water, so we have some buildup happening in our shower head where like one of the little water holes is like shooting crooked. So now whenever you go to get into the shower, like there's one perfectly at eye level. Three times in a row, I've gotten in there and just been sprayed right in the eye with like this, like, it feels like a fire hose beam of water.

• 7:54Speaker 05

  Turkey are you taking a shower? Are you just walking?

• 7:59Speaker 06

  Oh, no. It's spraying in a surprising direction. Cause you know, normally it just comes out like and there's one beam that's like

• 8:07Speaker 05

  Do you step in the shower and turn it on?

• 8:10Speaker 06

  I have to.

• 8:11Speaker 05

  You don't turn it on before to warm it up?

• 8:14Speaker 06

  Well, I do, but I still have to step in to turn it on. And then I quickly pull back because our candles like across the shower.

• 8:21Speaker 05

  Okay, I see.

• 8:22Speaker 06

  It's not as big as I'm making it sound, but there's still like, you have to step in to do it.

• 8:26Speaker 05

  I, I just saw you stumbled in, mouth agape, eyes wide and just stood there and took it.

• 8:32Speaker 06

  No, but after I turn it on and it warms up and I get in, it's still spraying in a direction that whenever you get in and you're using your eyes to get in to see where you're going, it hits you right in the eye. Again, we're talking normal spray is in a direction and then one of them is like going off in a direction that would surprise you in an angle that doesn't make sense.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  See, I told you he does stuff.

• 8:56Speaker 06

  I do. Have I told you guys about the weird delivery, the late night delivery we had?

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Wait, we had one of those too. Let's see if they match up.

• 9:05Speaker 06

  We had a car pull into our driveway, like, I don't know, six o'clock in the evening, pulled in, sat there, nobody got out, sat there, like three minutes passed, they back out and they leave. And I was like.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  They didn't deliver anything?

• 9:19Speaker 06

  No, and I was like, I guess they went to the wrong house. I don't know. That was weird. Maybe they were trying to figure out where they were. Who knows what they were doing? Anyway, they're gone. It's fine. We get an alert at 2:30 in the morning that there's someone in our driveway. And I'm like, I go to look and there is the same car in our driveway at 2:30 in the morning. And the guy goes to the back of his car, opens up the trunk, gets a box, walks, sets it down, gets in his car and leaves. 2:30 in the morning delivery, scared the crap out of me.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  Why would they deliver that?

• 9:50Speaker 05

  Sometimes Amazon does that where they'll do an overnight delivery, but you usually have to pick it.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  Well, are you allowed to tell us what was in the box or?

• 9:58Speaker 06

  I don't know. It was, I don't know. What was in the box? What's in the box?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  What do you mean you don't know what was in the box?

• 10:03Speaker 06

  It was Molly's package. I don't know what was in the box.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Okay, but it was a package that one of you took inside the house and opened.

• 10:09Speaker 06

  Her name on it, yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. I thought you just left the box there and were like, I'm not gonna touch that.

• 10:14Speaker 06

  Well, I did. The next day I told Molly about it.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  You even bring packages in for Molly?

• 10:22Speaker 06

  At 2:30 in the morning?

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Oh, you watched on, you weren't curious? I'm not sitting up in bed at 2:30 in the morning, watching some stranger walk up to my door and leave a box and then be like, I'll deal with that later.

• 10:33Speaker 06

  I 100% was gonna deal with that later. I was comfy in my bed. What if a person was in there, they popped out and stabbed me? I didn't want to be stabbed before I slept.

• 10:39Speaker 05

  Exactly, yeah. It's late at night, some drop off package, that's a trap. They want you to come outside so that they can go in your house and you didn't notice they went in your house. They slipped in behind you. And now they're in your walls.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have heard, especially if you're in the Appalachian foothills, somebody comes and leaves a box on your doorstep at 2:30 in the morning. It's not a person and it's not a box. It's just the box man coming for your toes.

• 11:03Speaker 06

  I think that covers everything possibly new in my life.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  I don't want to tease this without saying it, so I'll just tell the story really quick. Yours is more interesting than ours. Ours was just a pizza, but I was upstairs in my office doing something with headphones on and Mandy was downstairs alone and someone came to our door at like 11 o'clock at night, like late at night, but not like middle of the night. And we're in, we're in a new house and it scared the shit out of Mandy because our front door is kind of like, part of it's frosted glass so you could see. So she could see like a guy walked up and like rang the doorbell and then right and stood there and she was like, oh fuck, like someone's breaking in, what the? It was just pizza. It was, so the neighbors had ordered pizza and that was how I met the neighbors at 11 o'clock at night in my sweatpants and sandals. I carried their pizza over and was like, hey, I didn't touch it. You can eat it. I promise I'm your neighbor. Bye.

• 11:51Speaker 06

  I also love the thought of a break in, starting with the doorbell.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  And if nobody answers, then you can assume it's an empty house or probably not. I don't know.

• 11:59Speaker 06

  I would assume a horrible serial killer ringing the doorbell and holding flowers and then open the door and they drop the flowers and they just have a machete and start cutting me up.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  I checked the box. Imagine if I had left the pizza till morning, then we would have just had cold pizza and my neighbors would have been sad.

• 12:16Speaker 05

  And they would have starved to death.

• 12:19Speaker 06

  Not my problem.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  I don't want to tell your business, but are you keeping score? Cause I feel like that story was worth points and I didn't really see you jotting any points down.

• 12:26Speaker 06

  I've jotted so many points.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Okay. Well, I hope some were for that story because I feel like that was a good story.

• 12:31Speaker 05

  Why do I feel my point total increasing all of a sudden?

• 12:34Speaker 03

  I cut you off, Mark. I just wanted to, I didn't want to leave that hanging because I said, we had the same thing.

• 12:39Speaker 05

  That's all right. No, I mean, all I was going to say is a movie's been doing really good. There's all of a sudden a bunch of things I have to deal with that I forgot about in terms of being the only one distributing the movie and paperwork and international filings and stuff like that. It's all very boring, but honestly, I'll take this work over all the other bullshit I had to deal with. I had to submit the trailer to the MPA for rating, even though trailers aren't rated, they are rated to be approved in which movies they can be played before, right? Cause you don't want.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 13:14Speaker 05

  You don't want this movie before like Pixar's baby movie.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  Dora the Explorer.

• 13:21Speaker 06

  Before that, check out Iron Love.

• 13:24Speaker 05

  I had to make, no, the blood was a problem, right? So the blood was actually, it was too much blood, they said, for anything that wasn't already an R-rated movie. But if I, if I cut down the blood, then it could play in PG 13 movies, which would open up to a lot more. So I had to re-edit some of the blood out. So there'll be a different cut that is going to be in the preview.

• 13:45Speaker 06

  It's all just blue. It's like.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  I know this is not how it works. I just had an image of like, just you in a room where the real shot is a bunch of blow of blood or whatever happened and you're like, ah, but, but then it's just you dry, just being like.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  Man, what's he freaking out about? Guess we gotta watch the movie.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  Man, I wanted to make like the sunshine and rainbows cut, which is just like covering up everything with just like a happy sticker. It's just like re-editing into like one of those comedy trailers or something like that.

• 14:19Speaker 06

  Collab with Cookie Crisp, just have milk and cookies like flooding in.

• 14:22Speaker 05

  Oh, you know, the guy who makes the, the, the jizz edit of.

• 14:27Speaker 06

  I was trying to avoid the jizz with the white, but yeah, yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 05

  What can you do?

• 14:32Speaker 06

  Jizz, once the bringer of life.

• 14:37Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 14:39Speaker 06

  Good.

• 14:40Speaker 05

  Finishing up handoffs for the movie, there's like, uh, closed captioning I have to do, which, you know, weirdly enough, it's like, they want to send it off to, uh, a business to do closed captioning. This is, this is indicative of a lot of things in, in a lot of these spheres. Where it's like, you send it off and three to four weeks later, it'll be captioned in one language, English. And I'm like, I could do that in a day, you know? So I will, um, that, that's just the really funny thing about a lot of this stuff is the default is to do this path that takes three to four weeks and is just at the whims of, so what else? When in reality, the task is, if you think about the task is just writing down what everybody says in the movie,

• 15:20Speaker 05

  which I've already done in the script and descriptive audio, which is, which is a technical thing, but honest, honestly, like descriptive audio, there's a pretty basic framework for it. And so you can do that.

• 15:31Speaker 06

  Closed captioning always seems like a pain in the ass, but I guess if you already have a script and know what your sounds are, it makes it easier.

• 15:36Speaker 05

  Basically all there is to it.

• 15:38Speaker 06

  From Bob?

• 15:39Speaker 03

  I thought I went already.

• 15:40Speaker 06

  You told me about your pizza delivery.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Didn't I talk before that? Didn't I talk about how it was James's birthday before then?

• 15:46Speaker 06

  No, there would definitely be points about that if you had.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, cuz I was saying about the points and how it seemed like you weren't writing any points down when I was talking. But I had talked, right? That all happened out loud, not just in my head, right?

• 15:57Speaker 06

  That must have been before we started recording.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  I have more. More stuff happened. You want more?

• 16:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, please, tell me more.

• 16:04Speaker 05

  Oh, save it for the next episode. Come on, man.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  I own a snow blower now.

• 16:09Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, me too, kind of.

• 16:11Speaker 05

  What does that mean?

• 16:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, wait, what the fuck?

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Would you go havesies with it on somebody? What do you mean, kind of?

• 16:18Speaker 06

  Maybe that's just what a snow blower is, but I got what I thought was like a better snow shovel.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Did you get an electric snow shovel?

• 16:26Speaker 06

  I thought that's what I got, but the way it works is you push it like a snow shovel and then it just like sucks and blows the snow back out. So it's a snow blower that I thought was just an electric snow shovel.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  No, that's a, that's a snow, that's a snow shovel. A snow blower is technically different and a snow shovel is, I've never owned one, but I've heard from everyone I looked at online that they're fucking useless and very unpleasant.

• 16:49Speaker 06

  The thing I got?

• 16:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 16:52Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Did it work?

• 16:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, better than the shovel.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Now, the snow blower's fun, though. It feels dangerous.

• 16:59Speaker 06

  Is it like gas or electric or nuclear power?

• 17:02Speaker 03

  It's gas powered. I've been burned on electric powered, uh, large devices before. I didn't really want gas powered, but.

• 17:09Speaker 06

  I just wanna keep gas in my garage cuz of the smell. I like the smell of gasoline and like I don't wanna, I don't wanna be around it.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Those things don't make sense next to each other, but.

• 17:18Speaker 06

  I know I shouldn't.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Having a can of gas in your garage doesn't make the whole garage smell like gas unless you like spill it or leave it open or something.

• 17:26Speaker 06

  How long can you have gas in your garage before it like goes bad too, like?

• 17:29Speaker 03

  I mean, gas technically goes bad after maybe three to six months, but I have kept gas in my garage for over a year before and.

• 17:38Speaker 06

  That's what I mean, though. I would only use gas in my garage for that one snow blower, which I would maybe use twice a year.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Just sort of loses octane and then doesn't burn as well, but it pretty much works. As long as it's not like five year old gas that turned into varnish, it's probably fine.

• 17:52Speaker 06

  Okay, so up to five years. Is that where varnish comes from?

• 17:56Speaker 03

  No, it's not where varnish, but if you, if gasoline sits around for long enough, like the liquid evaporates out of it and it turns into like a sludgy, it looks like varnish, like it turns into like a golden, sticky, gooey, brown mess of gross stuff.

• 18:10Speaker 06

  You make gold?

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Probably. It's basically alchemy.

• 18:14Speaker 06

  Interesting, interesting.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  But yeah, like I, it's nerdy too. I mean, maybe not nerdy. It's cool. It's cool man stuff, but it's a, it's a carbureted, it's a little carbureted 212 cc engine. And part of me is like, God, I can't wait till I have to do an oil change on it. Put it up on some stands, drain the oil, check the spark plug, you know, man stuff. Never done that in my life, but.

• 18:34Speaker 06

  So how does yours, is it like, uh, on wheels or something? You just like push it or how's?

• 18:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's got two back wheels and then it has like the, the blade part at the front that kind of just rides on the ground and the, it just kind of, honestly, it works like a push lawnmower. Like it's not that different. It feels like you're just pushing a lawnmower on your driveway, but it's cool. And it was so much better than shoveling. Holy shit.

• 18:55Speaker 06

  Yeah. For those out there don't know, we had a lot of snow for us. It was like six inches, but for us, that's a decent amount of snow in Cincinnati.

• 19:02Speaker 05

  For the record, we don't have any snow.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  If you ever got snow, there's no way you're getting up that hill in your driveway.

• 19:07Speaker 06

  Not even with a wagon.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  The wagon of Icarus?

• 19:10Speaker 05

  The wagon of Sisyphus.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  The wagon of syphilis?

• 19:13Speaker 05

  I don't want to ride the wagon of syphilis.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Makes it better.

• 19:17Speaker 06

  How? How does it make it better?

• 19:19Speaker 03

  I mean, you still have syphilis, but you have a wagon.

• 19:22Speaker 05

  Well, then I guess there is a.

• 19:24Speaker 06

  Better than the chlamydia convertible.

• 19:29Speaker 05

  In every movie or show that talks about syphilis, like the Frankenstein movie was the most recent example is like, it is one of the most horrifically depicted diseases that I could ever imagine. Whenever someone talks about it is like, is it really that bad? Is it?

• 19:44Speaker 06

  It's curable, right? But if you don't cure it, it's a horrible death that it leads to or something?

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Isn't the thing that if you don't treat it, it's bad, but like it's treatable by like penicillin and all modern, well, not all, but like modern medicine treat it easily with like a pill that you take. But if you leave it untreated, doesn't it like make you go crazy or something?

• 20:01Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, that's the thing is I don't know if that's what did it, or it was the mercury they were drinking to try to treat it, right? So I, is it really that bad? Or was the, the cure worse than the disease in that perspective? I imagine the disease is bad. I'm not saying, hey, syphilis isn't so bad, everybody.

• 20:18Speaker 06

  Are you a syphilis apologist?

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Look, we wanna, we wanna formally, we wanna formally apologize to all our syphil listeners and our syphil watchers.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Anyway, I, I'm with you. I always just assumed it was that they didn't have penicillin. So they were like, guess I'm sick now. And then it ruins your brain or whatever it does.

• 20:39Speaker 06

  Cause I'm pretty sure modern day, you, if you, as long as you treat it, you're okay, but.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  But probably drinking mercury is like not great.

• 20:46Speaker 06

  No, you put it on your fish.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  Horrendous. But cool.

• 20:50Speaker 06

  Real cool looking, yeah. You know how like when your temperature goes up, the mercury thermometers, like it'll show you your temperature going up? So if you injected mercury in your penis and you got warmer, would you get erect?

• 21:02Speaker 03

  Yes. I'm gonna say yes scientifically.

• 21:06Speaker 06

  Just asking for a friend. Trying to wrap my head around the question.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  It expands when it heats up. Wouldn't that just mean that if you inject room temperature quicksilver into your penis, you have an forever boner because your body temperature is warmer than room temperature? So it would, it would expand from whatever volume you injected initially?

• 21:25Speaker 06

  You'd think.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  I need to find a book about this and learn me some stuff.

• 21:29Speaker 06

  I'm sure there are books about this that we can.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  We just go to Google and type in penis mercury injection body temperature.

• 21:36Speaker 06

  And while you do that, I'm gonna get started with the game today. Cause I just looked at the time and we've been going for a while and whoops, I let this get out of hand again, as I always do.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Well, you made me small talk twice.

• 21:45Speaker 06

  You really did. I feel like I should get another small talk opportunity here.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  He was so disinterested in my James small talk. He didn't even remember it happened.

• 21:57Speaker 00

  Real value shows up in reliability. You don't have to second guess. Like a set of Firestone all season tires. They're designed to deliver confidence inspiring wet weather traction and a quieter ride no matter the road. Season after season. Firestone all season tires. For durability you can count on, just like people count on you. Firestone. Always dependable. Since 1900.

• 22:25Speaker 07

  New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at The Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths, and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want, online only, at homedepot.com.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Mark and I have known each other since college and we connected fast.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Oh yeah? How fast?

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Like T-Mobile 5G Home Internet fast.

• 23:11Speaker 05

  Well, in fact, I bet you can literally hop online in less than 15 minutes and connect with their fast speeds at a great price, no matter what your budget looks like.

• 23:23Speaker 06

  On top of that, you don't have to worry about your price changing, thanks to a five-year price guarantee.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  I didn't feel any air quotes coming from you on that one, I'm not gonna lie.

• 23:31Speaker 05

  With their fast 5G speeds, quick 15-minute setup, and five-year price guarantee, you really can't ask for a better setup.

• 23:44Speaker 06

  Visit tmobile.com/homeinternet to check availability. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network. Speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details at tmobile.com/homeinternet. We are playing, I don't remember what it's called, I'm gonna call it the alphabet game, which is probably what it's called. So on Who's Lies Anyway, there's a game where a scene is set, and let's just say Colin and Ryan are in the scene, and Drew Carey will turn to the audience and say, "Give me a letter." And they'll say, "Q." And so then Drew will turn to Colin and Ryan and say, "All right, the letter is Q. The scene is Ryan.

• 24:28Speaker 06

  Colin has run off with your wife." Ah, scene. And then Ryan will go...

• 24:33Speaker 08

  Quickly explain yourself. Why would you take Sandy?

• 24:36Speaker 09

  Really? Really? You would say that to me?

• 24:38Speaker 06

  So it is true. QRS, like each sentence starts off with that letter.

• 24:42Speaker 05

  I was just in the scene. I was so, also.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm invested now.

• 24:46Speaker 06

  So anyway, uh, I'm just gonna randomly get a letter. I don't, is there like a random letter generator?

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Like a one through 26 random number picker would probably work.

• 24:55Speaker 06

  I found even better. I found a wheel with all letters on it. I'll spin the wheel.

• 25:00Speaker 03

  You're saying somebody else's wheel? What the?

• 25:02Speaker 06

  Listen, I won't be held down by one wheel. I'm a, a wheel.

• 25:07Speaker 05

  Go on. Yeah, go on. Yeah, you got it.

• 25:10Speaker 06

  Those people that, that are, yeah, fuck a lot of other people, you know, those people.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 25:17Speaker 05

  No, I should have stopped you. I should have stopped you, man.

• 25:19Speaker 06

  I'm a wheel. I'm a wheel. Get her around her. Get around her.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  What? Deuce, wait a low, wheel jiggle low?

• 25:27Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  I, I don't write a point for that.

• 25:30Speaker 06

  Oh, I'm writing a point for that.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  All right, well.

• 25:32Speaker 06

  I couldn't figure out what jiggle low started with a G or a J and I wrote an L.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  The legalo. That's the sluttiest elf in Lord of the Rings.

• 25:47Speaker 06

  What are your elf eyes see legalo?

• 25:52Speaker 03

  See a couple hotties out there. Just wait for me to swing by. Yeah, I don't talk like the other elves. This is how I talk. I'm legalo.

• 26:00Speaker 05

  I never imagined I'd die next to an elf. What about dying next to legalo?

• 26:08Speaker 06

  Interesting, interesting. All right, you guys are starting.

• 26:11Speaker 05

  No, I want to talk about legalo some more.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to toss me. Oh, when you say it like that.

• 26:16Speaker 06

  First, first prompt, you can bring me back legalo if you want.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Get ready for a lot of legalo.

• 26:21Speaker 06

  That's the name of the episode.

• 26:27Speaker 06

  Damn it. That's why I'm the worst host I could ever control my contestants.

• 26:31Speaker 05

  Look, when you give some like legalo out there, we make legalo exist.

• 26:35Speaker 06

  I just couldn't pick between G and J, man. I don't know how it became an L.

• 26:41Speaker 06

  Your scenario. Elf Mark really wants to win elf of the year, but elf Bob seems like the clear favorite. Your starting letter is W.

• 26:52Speaker 05

  Sorry, I was listening to you. I'm still thinking about legal.

• 26:57Speaker 06

  Elf Mark wants to win Elf of the Year, but Elf Bob seems like the clear favorite. Your letter is W.

• 27:04Speaker 05

  Why? Why do you keep doing this to me year after year?

• 27:11Speaker 05

  Zounds Man, have you nothing to say? No, wait, that's not the right letter.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  Wait, wait.

• 27:16Speaker 05

  We can't play this game. We're not smart enough for it. Hold on.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  I thought, did you say Mark was going first?

• 27:24Speaker 06

  I didn't, but he just.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  I thought of a, of a thing to say with W and then Mark went and my brain was like, W's not after W? And then I couldn't think of the next letter.

• 27:37Speaker 06

  I thought, I thought fucking Z was after W. God, wait, I don't know. I don't know, but. All right, let's start again. Um, Bob, you get to go first. Elf Mark wants to win Elf of the Year, but you seem like the clear favorite. Why you would kick this off? I don't know, but you do now.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Well, have fun with that next letter, which we all know is X.

• 28:03Speaker 06

  I thought that was your line.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Okay, I'll start, I'll start it with that just to make you happy. Well, looks like I win again, loser.

• 28:16Speaker 06

  You're right. This is tough. X comes next.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Okay, one word start with X, you fucking douchebag. God damn.

• 28:25Speaker 05

  Just give him a name. I don't know. Call him Xerxes. I don't give a shit, man. No, he's Ligolo. He's gotta be Ligolo. I can't name him something else like that.

• 28:34Speaker 06

  He goes by his middle name. His name's Xerxes Ligolo Elphington. I don't fucking know.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  Man, I gotta, I gotta Google something real quick.

• 28:41Speaker 06

  I can't even, if I take away or give points, I have to do it for both of you because you're both incompetent.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  You started with possibly the hardest transit. You were like, let's warm up with A.

• 28:51Speaker 06

  I spun a wheel.

• 28:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, and we all always don't fudge those wheel spins that we do.

• 28:57Speaker 05

  God, no, I would have missed this golden opportunity.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  No game master ever has fudged a dice roll to make something work for their players.

• 29:06Speaker 05

  We are legit here at Distractible Studios. Dude, I'm looking at all these X words and I'm like, man, I do not know if these are spelled right. This is hmm. I got a couple for you. Xylophone? Well, that's the one everyone always does. Hold on. No, shh. Okay. X, the everything app, said that I was the clear favorite.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  You always find something that tells you that you're the clear favorite.

• 29:35Speaker 05

  Zero percent chance that I win? That's impossible.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Anything's possible.

• 29:40Speaker 05

  But me winning, apparently.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Cause you're a loser and you'll always be a loser and I'm the best.

• 29:46Speaker 05

  Don't resort to name calling. You know that you bribed the judges.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Everyone knows that I bribed the judges. That's why I always win.

• 29:57Speaker 05

  Fuck!

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Good. You're finally realizing the truth. You're finally gonna accept what's gonna happen here.

• 30:04Speaker 05

  Hopefully, in a few years, this is all gonna come to bite you in the ass.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  I hope that in a few years, you'll realize that you were the one biting my ass the whole time.

• 30:16Speaker 05

  Just wait till you get in your car.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Cranky. You're too cranky. That's what, that's what they're gonna call you. You're gonna go down as the crankiest man I've ever known. Elf. Elf man. Man elf? Grown elf?

• 30:30Speaker 05

  Ligolo, you can't even spell right. Cranky is with a C.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  Man, that's why I bribed the judges. I'm not a speller. I'm a winner.

• 30:39Speaker 05

  No, no, no. This can't be right. I worked so hard.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Only to come up short once again. I don't know what to tell you. It's not my fault.

• 30:48Speaker 05

  Porn. I know about your secret.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  A quick tell, to call the news stations. Oh no, Ligolo did porn. Who doesn't know that?

• 31:01Speaker 05

  Rawr.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  You got me.

• 31:06Speaker 06

  All right, good warm up, good warm up. You guys did great. We're on to the real game now.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Oh, that's not the real game?

• 31:13Speaker 06

  It is, but that was the warm up. All right, the next scene, Mark, you'll kick this one off.

• 31:20Speaker 06

  Police Officer Mark tries to arrest Santa Bob for home invasion. Your starting letter is I.

• 31:27Speaker 05

  I don't have a warrant. And neither do you.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Just wait a minute now. There's a totally reasonable explanation for this.

• 31:36Speaker 05

  Claus? No. Cl- Claus with a C. That's you, isn't it?

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Look, look, I don't have any identification, so you're just gonna have to take my word for it. Yes, it's me, S. Claus.

• 31:49Speaker 05

  Merry Christmas. Get on the ground.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  No. Oh, I thought you were going to shoot me.

• 31:58Speaker 05

  Or I'll shoot. Or, or I'll shoot.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Please don't. Um, I could put you on the nice list.

• 32:05Speaker 05

  Really? You'd do that for me? I've done some terrible things.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  Quite awful, really. Quite just the worst that I could have. But I'll put you on the nice list if you promise not to shoot me.

• 32:17Speaker 05

  Stop tempting me. Stop. You're confusing me. I'm getting everything mixed up. Letters, my name, this gun, you.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  That's fine. Why don't you just hand the gun to Santa and we can talk this out?

• 32:29Speaker 05

  Undoubtedly, I want to trust you, but I can't.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Verily, I say unto thee, I am Santa Claus and I will have that gun in my gloved hand.

• 32:44Speaker 05

  What's in your bag? What's in the bag?

• 32:47Speaker 03

  Xylophones.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  For the kids, you know, they love xylophones.

• 32:56Speaker 05

  Zero chance. I'm not letting you go. No. Yes. Wait, shut up. Yeah. Shut, shut up. You're confusing me. You, you're confusing me. Stop it.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Zep, Zep, can I call you Zep? Listen, I know you're not gonna shoot me. You couldn't shoot me. I have a magical barrier. I've, I've just been playing along to try and win you over because you're such a terrible person, but I really have nothing to fear from you. Okay. So can we just, please?

• 33:25Speaker 05

  All Santas are bad and I'm taking you in. Cut that one out. I don't want that in there. Let's redo that one.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  I don't know if you get to cut that. I think that's what, no, I think that's the one they went to go with that.

• 33:40Speaker 05

  Okay. All right. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I meant.

• 33:43Speaker 03

  Big mistake, boy. Now you'll get to see my true power.

• 33:48Speaker 05

  Core blimey gov.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Don't take an accent with me, you slippery bitch. It's time to suffer for your misdeeds.

• 34:02Speaker 05

  Evil. You're, you're evil. You're, you're some kind of evil. Evil?

• 34:11Speaker 03

  Fun. This is going to be so much fun.

• 34:16Speaker 05

  F.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Gun. I've got a gun.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Santa magically gets five times bigger and looms over you and is

• 34:36Speaker 03

  ho, ho, ho.

• 34:40Speaker 05

  See?

• 34:42Speaker 05

  Not through at all. That's all the letters.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  That was it, right?

• 34:45Speaker 05

  Oh God, I'm so glad you guys are such masters of the English language.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Well, I used up my one X, so now I'm in trouble.

• 34:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's the only one. I got the list of X's here and there's really nothing helpful. Xantham gum, I guess is also a thing.

• 34:58Speaker 06

  All right, Bob, you're leading off. Elf Bob tries to convince Elf Mark that using AI to make the naughty list is a good idea.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  So I have to be, I'm pro AI. Got it.

• 35:10Speaker 05

  Yep. And you are starting with the letter C.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Come on. Who really wants to do all that work? Let's just use the chat thing. Come on.

• 35:19Speaker 05

  I don't know about this one, man. It seems kinda risky.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Everybody's doing it. Literally everything you see is probably generated by AI at this point.

• 35:30Speaker 05

  Forget, well, about what everyone else is doing. This could put people on the naughty list that shouldn't be there.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Good. They deserve it. Nobody's that, nobody's good enough to belong on the nice list anymore. Do you know how hard it is to be good in modern society?

• 35:44Speaker 05

  Happiness still exists in the world. There's hope.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  Incels exist in the world. There's no hope. There's only tragedy. Naughty list.

• 35:55Speaker 05

  Just because some people have this idea that they're socially inept and on the outs doesn't mean that there's not hope and happiness.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Kleptomaniacs like you shouldn't be left in charge of what is good and bad about society. I know the truth and I know they all deserve it.

• 36:13Speaker 05

  Ligolo, you said you would not bring up my past.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Markaness, I made no such promises.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  No promises. You swore an oath.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Oaths are for idiots. That's what I say about that. I'm gonna copy and paste this bad boy into ChatGPT and have it tell me who's what. And then we'll just give that to the big guy. We'll be done with it.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  Pussy.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  Quill sucker.

• 36:44Speaker 05

  Reindeer blower.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  Santa liquor.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Treat Tucker.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  Uncalled for. That was uncalled for. That was, you know, about my personal, let's just back away from that one. That's okay. I'll, I will let that go. We'll just let that go.

• 37:01Speaker 05

  Very fair point. That, very fair. I shouldn't have crossed that line.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Well, anyway, I'm gonna just go ahead and hit enter and have this thing and tell us who's what. And so we can get the hell out of here and go have some drinks.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  Grabs your laptop. Xanthum gum.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  You don't look at a man's search history. You don't, you put, you give that back right now so I can get this done and we can get out of here. Come on.

• 37:28Speaker 05

  Zooks, God even, I can't believe you would trust this thing, let alone your search history.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  Anyone who looks at another man's search history does not get to tell me my business. Enter generating list of naughty and nice.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  Not hope.

• 37:50Speaker 06

  There we have it.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

• 37:56Speaker 05

  It was going so strong until the very last letter.

• 38:00Speaker 06

  Damn it. I like this game. It's always fun to see what happens whenever you guys are approaching the letter X. Mark, you are starting this one off. Frosty the snowman, AKA Mark, sues manager Bob for putting him in charge of grilling food, which is causing him to melt. And your first letter is S.

• 38:19Speaker 05

  So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, I'm gonna sue you.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  This is outrageous. Frosty, get back on the grill, get out of my face, we're in the middle of rush.

• 38:31Speaker 05

  Under no circumstances am I going back there. Look at my ass.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Very funny. We both know you don't have an ass. I'll look at your bottom ball and then I'll look at it as it waddles away back to the grill, cook some goddamn burgers.

• 38:45Speaker 05

  Well, I do have one now. It's melted right down the crack that I didn't have before.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Xenia Ohio needs their Wendy's and I need you to go grill some square meat patties right now.

• 39:04Speaker 05

  You made me do my weird scream. That's how angry I am. I'm a snowman, I talk a little funny, just don't make fun of that.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  You always forget about why.

• 39:13Speaker 05

  I always forget about why.

• 39:21Speaker 05

  You made me do my second weird scream.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Zip your charcoal. I've had enough lip. Here's your option. I'm either gonna write you up right now, kick your butt out of here, or you're gonna go cook some burgers, or if you want, you could do dishes. But that's your only options.

• 39:36Speaker 05

  All managers are bad. I'm gonna take you down.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  Big man's going some pants, huh? Just cuz you think you got a little butt crack now and get some pants on there? You think you think you're a big man like me? Think you could take me on?

• 39:49Speaker 05

  Come spring, I'm dead anyway. Why not start now?

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Do it. You won't.

• 39:56Speaker 05

  Eep. Yeah, you're right.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Finally, I think you're, I think we're coming to an understanding. I think you're seeing my point. Okay, we're gonna give back to the grill? We're gonna comply? Gonna be compliant? Compliant employee?

• 40:12Speaker 05

  Good employees follow orders. But if I do melt, wouldn't that also not let burgers be made for Zena's residence?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Hey, if you do melt, I'll put you in some cups and sell you ice water to customers.

• 40:27Speaker 05

  I guess I'd be okay with that.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Got yourself a deal, Frosty.

• 40:34Speaker 05

  See, what letter we start with? I don't even remember. Well, you guys, you started at S and you finished it, I guess you've got yourself a deal, but I mean. Oh, okay. So it ends when we get to the end of the scene. I, I, alright. Well, I was going to have you guys go the full loop of the alphabet, but I didn't know where you'd go after, guess you've got yourself a deal. It kind of felt like an ending, so it just felt like a natural cut place. Well, then we, you know, we see where our relationship develops after that.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Mark, Mark, if we just end the scenes really fast, we never have to do X again.

• 41:02Speaker 05

  You're right, you're right. Alright, your first letter is X. Or if you just forget again and again that it exists.

• 41:11Speaker 05

  The goal is to do the full loop.

• 41:17Speaker 00

  Real value shows up in reliability you don't have to second guess. Like a set of Firestone all season tires. They're designed to deliver confidence inspiring wet weather traction and a quieter ride no matter the road. Season after season. Firestone all season tires for durability you can count on. Just like people count on you. Firestone, always dependable since 1900.

• 41:46Speaker 07

  New and exclusive holiday decor just launched online at the Home Depot. Check out the viral Grand Duchess collection with smart holiday lights you can control from your phone. Easily customize the twinkle across trees, wreaths and garlands to match your holiday vibe. Create stunning light effects, then switch it up with the tap of your fingers. Even the man in red will be impressed. Shop the holiday decor you want online only at HomeDepot.com.

• 42:17Speaker 06

  We'll do, we'll just do one more. We'll do one more based on the, Mark went first. Okay, so Bob, you'll go first on this one. The scene is you are both two toys at the North Pole, planning a prison break to avoid being given to reckless kids that might destroy you.

• 42:31Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 42:32Speaker 06

  I swear to you, the first letter is X, but I won't make you start with X.

• 42:36Speaker 05

  No, wait. Yeah, let's do it.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  If we're, if we're, if you're not going to cheat the wheel, don't cheat the wheel.

• 42:41Speaker 06

  I did not cheat the wheel.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  I've got, I've got this. I've got this. We're starting with X. Xmas is coming. Are you ready to execute the plan?

• 42:50Speaker 05

  Yes. You know it. You got me on your side.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Zip zap zow. That's good news to hear, partner. Um, we're going to get out of here. We're not going to have any kids smashing us up this year.

• 43:04Speaker 05

  All you gotta do is tell me who to kill first. I'll kill him dead.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Barry, I need you to kill Barry first. I know he's not a guard or anything. I just hate him and then we'll get going.

• 43:14Speaker 05

  Car. I'll mess with his brakes.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  That's dastardly. I mean, hmm, dastardly.

• 43:20Speaker 05

  That's dastardly.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  First thing I said was dastardly.

• 43:23Speaker 05

  I heard dat, so you know, uh, everything's good, boss. You don't need to justify yourself to me. I'm your loyal soldier.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Fine. Good. All right. Once Barry's set up, then we cut the bars. We use the rope we made out of bed sheets. We climb down. We float on a block of ice to Manhattan. Boom. We're out of here, just like Will Ferrell.

• 43:45Speaker 05

  Guns. I'll use guns to kill Barry.

• 43:48Speaker 03

  Hey, I don't, I don't know if we need guns. I, I know I said kill Barry, but I implied in there was kind of like make it seem like an accident, you know?

• 43:55Speaker 05

  I got loads. I got loads of guns. I had the whole line rigged, so they weren't making toy guns. Those are real guns.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Just ditch the gun before we're on the ice block floating across the ocean. How about that? I don't want that in the same vehicle as me, but whatever, whatever you gotta do.

• 44:11Speaker 05

  Kill. Kill is what I gotta do with the guns and they've gone all over the world, so we can get them anywhere. They're stashed in everyone's homes now.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Look, I got it. You're gonna kill Barry with the, it's, I don't wanna know. You shouldn't even be telling me this. Deniability, right? Do what you gotta do and I'll see you at the bars.

• 44:28Speaker 05

  Murder is murder. You're accomplice to it. I'm, you're my boss. You tell me who to murder. I murder them.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  No, hey, look, I'm more like a guy who had a lot of thoughtful suggestions, really, like this was a team effort. I, I wouldn't say that I'm in charge of anything.

• 44:43Speaker 05

  Oh, no, don't be, you so humble, you so humble, boss. Look, you're, you're, you're leading the resistance of the toys. No kid's ever gonna wake up on Christmas again.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  Pretty sure I never said anything about that. Pretty sure we're leaving all those kids, pretty sure we're staying as far away from the kids as possible. We just don't want them touching us. That's fine. That's, there's no other part to that.

• 45:05Speaker 05

  Quiet night, quick night. All is calm, all is dead.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Really appreciate how excited you are to jump into song. Really brightens the mood and keeps everything light, but can't stress enough. We're just escaping. We're just going away. Once Barry's dead, I think no more killing. I think that's the plan.

• 45:30Speaker 05

  Santa's already dead.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  That was not discussed. That never came up. That's, you did that unprompted.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  Unprompted? Unprompted. Unprompted, yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  Vikes.

• 45:51Speaker 03

  Man, I really just try not to say very.

• 45:53Speaker 05

  Well, well, let's just say Santa's suit is redder than usual. And then all the elves are next.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Seen.

• 46:01Speaker 05

  Xenia, Ohio's our first target.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Hey, I thought of an X word. No, no, I love Xenia, Ohio. I loved it. Never quite as aware of how rusty your improv skills are until you're thrust into scenes for the first time in quite a while.

• 46:20Speaker 06

  All right, let me go over some points here. Mark, you got points for being a window bro. I don't know, jizz. Not all syphilis.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Hold on, wait, let's.

• 46:33Speaker 05

  Those are my points.

• 46:34Speaker 06

  Fuck. Elf of the year, crank with a K, I wrote there. Doesn't know alphabet, claws with a C. Ligolo, Sue, Xanthum gum, all blank are bad, which you used two or three times.

• 46:52Speaker 05

  I got that callback point coming. I know.

• 46:54Speaker 06

  Finally remembered the letter Y, violent night, quiet night, look at my ass, toy prison break, and the accent man. For a total of 18 points. Bob, you got points for James birthday, late night pizza, twinning with me. I'm not sure what we were twinning on, but you and I were twinning.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:17Speaker 06

  Uh, being a window bro with Mark. Uh, you wanted points for Christmas. You kept asking me, so I gave you that point. Oh, you made a syphilis pun, but I can't read my handwriting. Syphilis.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  Syphilis listeners?

• 47:27Speaker 06

  Syphilis listeners, that's what it says. Syphilis listeners. Gus Alchemy? That can't be what that says, but it looks like it says Gus Alchemy. Deuce waitaloo, male jigaloo.

• 47:36Speaker 05

  Ho, ho, ho.

• 47:39Speaker 06

  AI naughty list. Markinus. Mark, I, Markinus in all caps. I don't know why, but I think it was Markinus. Uh, frosty point. Xenia, Ohio. Autumn ball? Autumn ball.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 47:55Speaker 06

  And Vikes for a total of seventeen points.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  That's a lot of points. Wait, what did Mark have?

• 48:02Speaker 06

  Eighteen points.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 48:04Speaker 06

  Uh, but that's before the wheels and stuff. So right now it's eighteen to seventeen with the wheels to go. Close game. Uh, I will not lie. Mark got a lot of points late to catch back up because Bob, you were kind of crushing it with, uh, Mark forgetting the letters of the alphabet early. And then, uh, Mark just had some bangers there with his violent accented prison guard. I was actually a toy, but.

• 48:25Speaker 03

  He was gonna kill the prison guard. Alright, how many, how many thingies are we gonna get?

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Oh, it's three. Look at that.

• 48:32Speaker 06

  Wow, what a shock.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  I'm shookin'.

• 48:35Speaker 06

  Um, do we already have used accents the most on there? We probably do.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  I think we do. We definitely have one that's like the, the, did the best Scottish accent specifically.

• 48:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, Scottish accent that we have.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Uh, maybe there's not an accents one?

• 48:52Speaker 06

  Alright, most accents used because Mark just kept having different accents.

• 48:57Speaker 03

  And three spins. Here we go.

• 49:00Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 49:07Speaker 06

  I've literally got it written down. Mark has a fuck point. I do have a fuck point. I do indeed.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  I mean, I know I, I said it.

• 49:16Speaker 06

  I can't prove who said it the most, but Mark has a fuck point.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Mark does have, I feel like that's a pretty strong argument. Spin number two.

• 49:27Speaker 06

  Will to live?

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Will to live? I don't remember.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  I'm not, I'm not, I still have plenty of will to live. I'm not giving up on that. I don't know how we measure.

• 49:37Speaker 06

  Yeah, I, I, I got will to live. Uh. Hold on. Bob did have to play Frosty. He was fighting for his life.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  No, Mark was Frosty. I was the manager.

• 49:46Speaker 06

  Oh, that's true. Okay, Mark was Frosty. He had to fight for his life.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  But then he, we came to an accord and he was just gonna do what I said, even though it was killing him.

• 49:53Speaker 06

  Ah, fuck.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  If anything, that demonstrates a lack of will to live, but that was also a character.

• 49:58Speaker 06

  We'll just re-spin it. I don't, I don't have a solid answer for this one.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  I don't think that reflects Mark's personal will to live.

• 50:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, I guess not.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Loudest.

• 50:08Speaker 06

  I did my weird scream. Yeah.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mark did scream. I didn't ever really scream. I laughed pretty loud, but like.

• 50:15Speaker 06

  I have in all caps for Bob, ho, ho, ho, and Markinus. I have fuck, Ligolo, and Sue in all caps for Mark.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you did yell Sue at me to start that one.

• 50:26Speaker 06

  And the scream. I think that one would go to Mark.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Oh, well, that means I pretty much lose, I guess, but that's fine.

• 50:33Speaker 06

  There's always golf rules or tie.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Come on, Jared Goff rules.

• 50:38Speaker 06

  I'm so mad that they lost.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  I couldn't believe that. Uh, add 10% chance to one man's show. Well.

• 50:46Speaker 06

  Thankfully, it doesn't affect me.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  We should write that down somewhere, what the percent chance is that we currently have. Fuck, my drawer won't open.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  My scorebook is trapped in this drawer. I actually can't get it out.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  Oh, man, fuck. I just almost ripped the cover off my score thingy. Okay, uh, I'm gonna document what the current percentage is, and then I'm just gonna start writing on like the back cover of my little score sheet, what the thing is, so we have it. So we have to add a 10% chance. Currently, the winner's wheel is, wow, that's big.

• 51:21Speaker 06

  It sure is.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  90, which is 25%, right? Because it's, it's one quarter of the wheel. So currently.

• 51:30Speaker 06

  So we should be at 35%? It goes at 10%, not of the 360, but 10%. So it would go up whatever 35% of 360 is, is that right?

• 51:40Speaker 03

  That makes it 126 degrees.

• 51:43Speaker 06

  Oh, oh, so it's the most likely thing to land on next time.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  There you go. That's what that looks like now.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  That looks very fair, you know?

• 51:54Speaker 06

  All right, well, um, our final score is 20 to 17 after the wheel spins. Uh, Mark, would you like to give us a winner's speech?

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Mark, did you disconnect?

• 52:06Speaker 06

  Hello? He's frozen. He is frozen.

• 52:10Speaker 06

  Mark? Hi.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  Oh, hey, there he is.

• 52:13Speaker 06

  Hey, man. Welcome back. It was my, uh, USB thing that has the ethernet plugged into it, and I kicked it and it.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  Oh, no, wait, Mark. He's gone.

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Oh, man. Yeah, I hope he was like, I'm gonna show him how I kicked it and then he kicked it again.

• 52:35Speaker 06

  I'm back. Hey, man.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  Hey, I wouldn't kick that thing a third time.

• 52:40Speaker 06

  I didn't kick it again. It just rivers I'd caught up and was like, hey, you're not. You don't exist. Kick me out of the session. Well, welcome back, man. Congrats on winning. Do you have a winner's speech? Oh, yeah, I won. Yay.

• 52:54Speaker 06

  Great winner's speech. Bob, do you have a loser's speech?

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Oh, no, I won. It's bazoo with an X. Cause the, all right, yeah, whatever. That was, that was a fun game, but man, fucking, I need more. I need to know more words that start with X if we're gonna do that again. Jesus.

• 53:13Speaker 06

  There, there aren't anymore. I looked up. Hopefully all of you guys out there watching and or listening enjoyed. Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will compete with me as Mark Hostess and whatever comes, I suppose, after the holidays. Have a good holiday season, everybody out there. If you haven't already, go follow Market Mark, Bob Meisker, me at Minion777, Lord Minion777. Iron Lung is in theaters. If you haven't gotten tickets yet, you need to. It's spreading around. It's everywhere. It's up in Canada, I think now, and theaters are selling out. So if you want to get tickets, get your tickets. Go to ironlung.com, the book. We might have merch for Distractible too, but don't worry about that because I don't know the website for that one still after all these years.

• 53:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can't remember that website.

• 53:53Speaker 06

  See you all, I guess, after the new year begins. Until then, podcast out.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Watch new episodes on Spotify.

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