They Punish Themselves First | The Obstacle Is The Way

Ryan talks about revenge, and reads The Daily Stoic’s entry of the day. Blinkist is the app that gets you fifteen-minute summaries of the best nonfiction books out there. Blinkist lets you get the topline information and the most important points from the most important nonfiction books out there, whether it’s Ryan’s own The Daily Stoic, Yuval Harari’s Sapiens, and more. Go to blinkist.com/stoic, try it free for 7 days, and save 25% off your new subscription, too. MUD WTR is a coffee alternative with 4 adaptogenic mushrooms and ayurvedic herbs with 1/7th the caffeine of a cup of coffee. Go to mudwtr.com/STOIC and use code STOIC to get 15% off your first purchase.✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

• 0:03Speaker 00

  Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Thursdays, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the book, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful co-author and collaborator, Stephen Hanselman. And so today, we'll give you a quick meditation from one of the Stoics, from Epictetus, Marx, Rilius, Seneca, then some analysis from me, and then we send you out into the world to do your best to turn these words into works. The Stoics talk, of course, about self-improvement a lot. That is the purpose of philosophy in many ways, to get better each and every day.

• 0:47Speaker 00

  And I think the Stoics were pretty unanimous in their belief that reading is a way to do that. And that's why I love today's sponsor, Blinkist. Blinkist is a way to get better, smarter, and to do it faster in 2022. Blinkist has takeaways from some of the best books on the topic of self-improvement, books that were written by friends of mine that I've recommended many times. Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, James Clear's Atomic Habits, Tim Ferriss's The Four Hour Body, and more. They also, of course, have my books as well. When I read a book, what I'm really looking for is like one nugget, one insight, one thing I can take away. And if you don't have time to read as much as I do, Blinkist is a great way to just

• 1:28Speaker 00

  get that, these sort of 15-minute summaries of these books, interviews with the authors, where they really go in-depth at the core, the crux of what the author is trying to say. Now, I don't think that's enough. I think you should also go read the book, but Blinkist is a great way to tackle reading in 2022, to read more, to read faster. One of the things I do when I tackle a really big, complicated book is I want to read a review, listen to a summary, read the Wikipedia page, so that when I actually do get the book, I know what I'm looking for, and I've got a base of knowledge to start with. Right now, Blinkist has a special offer just for our audience. Go to blinkist.com/stoic to start your free seven-day trial, and you can get a 25% off Blinkist Premium Membership.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  That's Blinkist, B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T, blinkist.com/stoic to get 25% off a free seven-day trial. Go to blinkist.com/stoic. They punish themselves first.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  You get a glimpse of some of the things that people do. The way they treat a waiter at a restaurant, trying to board an airplane with a mesh mask during a pandemic and then throwing a fit about it. Cheating on their taxes, pushing their work off on their colleagues and then filing bogus lawsuits after they get fired. Unsurprisingly, these people existed in their own way in the ancient world, too. In fact, Marcus writes in The Opening of Meditations about the inevitability of witnessing such things on a daily basis. So how does a Stoic respond to these outrages, big and small, then and now? First, with a reminder to themselves that, as unacceptable as these behaviors are, the primary victim is, as always, also the perpetrator.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  It's not fun to be one of these people. Their avarice is not enjoyable because they are constantly hungry for more. Their ignorance is not bliss because their existence is in the dark. It is daily torture, whether they understand it or not. We have to be wise enough to see the bigger picture. Even as they hurt others, they are hurting themselves. They can't see it, but we can. And we have the potential they are depriving themselves of. We can see the hell that they're living in. And the second response is to use these people as a mirror. In their behavior and their personalities, perhaps we can see some of our own traits we don't like. We can be reminded why we have the traits and principles that we have. We can see the mistakes of others and learn not to make them ourselves.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  Only after we have taken these first two steps can we begin to think about the third step, which may well not be within our power: holding them accountable.

• 4:14Speaker 00

  Most of you know I'm not really a big coffee drinker, but I am always looking for something that helps keep me focused, particularly in the afternoon, so don't crash. And ideally, something that doesn't cause that afternoon crash, which is why I like today's sponsor, Mudwater. Mudwater is a coffee alternative. It's got four adaptogenetic mushrooms and herbs in it. It's got one-seventh Caffeine as a cup of coffee. So it gives you the energy you need, but without anxiety or jitters or a crash. All the ingredients are there for a purpose. There's the micro dose of caffeine. There's the lion's mane for alertness. It's got all the stuff you need. There's even cinnamon in there. So it tastes great. In my case, you might drink

• 4:56Speaker 00

  it before you have a talk or record a podcast, or maybe when I'm heading home after a mid morning of writing and I want to have some energy for my kids. Mud is Whole30 approved. It's 100% USDA organic, non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, and kosher certified. Mudwater allows you to build a morning ritual that promotes sustained energy without the crash. You can go to mudwtr.com/stoic. That's M U D W T R dot com slash stoic. To support the show, use the code stoic for 15% off. Link will be in the show notes as well.

• 5:37Speaker 00

  The obstacle is the way. And I'm reading to you today from the Daily Stoic, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by yours truly, my co-author and translator, Stephen Hanselman. You can get signed copies, by the way, in the Daily Stoic store. Over a million copies of the Daily Stoic in print now. It's been just such a lovely experience to watch it. It's been more than 250 weeks, consecutive weeks on the bestsellers. It's just an awesome experience. But I hope you check it out. We have a premium leather edition at store.dailystoic.com as well. But let's get on with today's reading, because we have the fuller quote here from Marcus Aurelius. People don't know, this quote that I derived

• 6:19Speaker 00

  the obstacles away from comes from Meditations 520. Marcus Aurelius says, "While it's true that someone can impede our actions, they can't impede our intentions and our attitudes, which have the power of being conditional and adaptable. For the mind adapts and converts any obstacle to its actions into a means of achieving it. That which is an impediment to action is turned to advance action. The obstacle on the path becomes the way."

• 6:47Speaker 00

  And I will give you the Hayes translation as well, because I just love it. I actually think there's a really good translation. I'm a big fan of Pierre Hidot and his book, The Inner Citadel, which I carried the painted porch, we'll link to in today's episode. But Hidot does his own translation of Meditations, which has not been published except for the excerpts in the book. And there's a really good one inside The Inner Citadel, which you should read. But here's Hayes's rendering of the same passage, Meditations 520. "In a sense, people are our proper occupation. Our job is to do them good and to put up with them. But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us, like sun and wind and animals. Our actions may be impeded by them,

• 7:31Speaker 00

  but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions, because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes, the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." I just love that passage. And I'll give you what I say in The Daily Stoic. "Today, things will happen that will be contrary to your plans. If not today, then certainly tomorrow. And as a result of these obstacles, you will not be able to do what you planned. That is not as bad as it seems, because your mind is infinitely elastic and adaptable. You have the power to use the Stoic exercise of turning obstacles upside down, which takes one negative circumstance

• 8:16Speaker 00

  and uses it as an opportunity to practice an unintended virtue or form of excellence. Something prevents you from getting to your destination on time, then this is a chance to practice patience. If an employee makes an expensive mistake, then this is a chance to teach a valuable lesson. If a computer glitch erases your work, then it is a chance to start over with a clean slate. If someone hurts you, it is a chance to practice forgiveness. If something is hard, it is a chance to get stronger." Try this line of thinking and see if there is a situation in which one could not find some virtue to practice or derive some benefit. The truth is, there isn't one. Every impediment can advance action in some form or another. I think a couple of things here.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  I'm not saying that some terrible thing, awful, unfortunate, tragic event that happened is just wonderful. It's that the nature of that event presents within it opportunities to be great. Take the last couple of years. No one would choose this. It's tragic. It's unfortunate. It's been ghastly in the immensity of the destruction with which it has wrought. But, right? I have tried to focus on my family. I have tried to focus on being more community minded. Tried to focus on my stillness. I've tried to focus on improving my work habits. I've tried to focus on being present. I've tried to adjust my news habits. My marriage is better. I opened this bookstore, right?

• 9:45Speaker 00

  I have improved in innumerable ways. If you said, Ryan, you have to give all of that back, but there won't be a pandemic. Of course, I would say, yes, of course, there's other ways to do it. But the thing happened and it is a chance to step up, to grow, to change, to practice different virtues, right? That's what the obstacle is the way means. It's not that every negative thing is positive. It's that there is a chance to practice positive traits in response to the things that have happened. But second, if you notice the full quote from Marcus, in The Obstacle is the Way, I'm really talking about all forms of obstacles. But Marcus is specifically talking about difficult people. He's saying difficult people are a chance to practice these virtues, that when someone

• 10:30Speaker 00

  is frustrating, or mean, or stupid, or annoying, or dishonest, or cruel, or aggressive, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. These are opportunities to call from yourself positive virtues. Patience, kindness, forgiveness, creativity, et cetera. You've got to use that situation. So that's what the obstacle is the way means to me. That's why I have it tattooed here on my left arm. That's why we made the challenge coin. By the way, I don't know if you know this, but if you've liked The Obstacle is the Way, you want to give it a gift. We have a leather bound edition, which you can check out in the Daily Stoic store, or you can pick up the painted porch. But the point is. This is the philosophy with which I try to live my life. Stuff happens. How do we grow from it? How do we improve from it?

• 11:14Speaker 00

  How do we use it as an opportunity to be better? I have this little thing that I actually wrote to myself in 2020. I said, 2020 is a test. Will it make you a better person or a worse one? That's the part of it you decide, right? I had no idea that the pandemic would run all the way through 2020 and 2021. And it's we'd be back in 2022. All I knew was I was going to become a better person as a result of it. Could kill me, right? It could not be appreciated. You know, it could be all number of things, but I controlled what I did in response to it. And that's what you control always. That's what the obstacle is the way means. That's what Marcus is saying. And as it happens, there's also a Zen expression. The obstacle is the path.

• 11:59Speaker 00

  The obstacle is the way. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. Don't forget it. And of course, check out the leather bound at [email protected]. And we have a really cool challenge coin. You can carry with you too. Actually, and if I remember correctly, the book comes with a challenge coin. So you can get two for one there.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  You know, the Stoics in real life met at what was called the Stoa. The Stoa Pochyle, the Painted Porch in ancient Athens. Obviously, we can't all get together in one place because this community is like hundreds of thousands of people and we couldn't fit in one space. But we have made a special digital version of the Stoa. We're calling it Daily Stoic Life. It's an awesome community. You could talk about like today's episode, you've talked about the emails, ask questions. That's one of my favorite parts is interacting with all these people who are using Stoicism to be better in their actual, real lives. You get more Daily Stoic meditations over the weekend, just for the Daily Stoic Life members, quarterly Q and A's with me, cloth bound edition of our best of meditations, plus a whole bunch of other stuff, including discounts.

• 13:11Speaker 00

  And this is the best part, all our Daily Stoic courses and challenges totally for free, hundreds of dollars. Value every single year, including our new year, new you challenge. We'd love to have you join us. There's a two week trial totally for free. Check it out at dailystoiclife.com.