Let These Make You Better | Bastrop Library Q&A

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• 0:02Speaker 00

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. While on Thursdays, we not only read the daily meditation, but we answer some questions from listeners and fellow Stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy just as you are. Some of these come from my talks. Some of these come from Zoom sessions that we do with Daily Stoic Life members or as part of the challenges. Some of them are from interactions I have on the street when there happened to be someone there recording. Thank you for listening, and we hope this is of use to you.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Let these make you better. One of the oldest Roman traditions was the celebrations of the greats. Generations of Romans wrote and told stories of the great men and women of history, celebrating the things they did, the sacrifices they made, the virtues they embodied. Marcus really his philosophy teacher Sextus was the grandson or the nephew of Plutarch, perhaps the most widely read biographer of all time. His works on the Stoics of the eminent Greeks and Romans were popular not just in ancient Rome, but in Shakespeare's day, popular with the founding fathers. They're popular even today. We sell them in the bookstore. And Marcus himself, it looks like, kept his own version of this kind of book called The Deeds of the Ancient Greeks and Romans, alongside his more famous meditations,

• 1:29Speaker 00

  where he noted what he admired about his predecessors. "Nothing is as encouraging," he would write in meditations, "as when virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we're practically showered with them. It's good to keep this in mind," he said. But what virtues did Marcus most often note down? What inspired him? It wasn't the conquests of Alexander. It wasn't the brilliance of Plato. It wasn't the speeches of Demosthenes. What Marcus took pains to note down over and over and over again were the things like the generosity of his mother, the way she seemed to even be unable to conceive of doing the wrong thing. He wrote of Antoninus's dedication to his duty and his altruism. Of a different Alexander, in this case, a literary critic,

• 2:14Speaker 00

  he noticed how he was patient with people who made mistakes and how he always took the time to answer questions. From Sextus, Plutarch's relative, he recognized how he got along with everyone and was full of love. We could say unequivocally that Marcus Aurelius was a collector of stories regarding other people's goodness. He took the time to write these things down so he would remember them and be inspired by them, so he could model his life after them. These stories made him better, reminded him of what his most important job was, to be a good person and to work for the common good. He was choosing his Cato, as Seneca advised, finding the models to measure himself against. And my new book, Right Thing Right Now, is basically a collection of these kinds of stories. And you can preorder

• 2:59Speaker 00

  it. I would love if you did, by the way, just dailystoic.com/justice. I talk about the model of Harry S. Truman, who was loyal to his friends, his colleagues, his fellow citizens, and taxpayers, even when it cost him politically. There's the model of Gandhi, whose commitment to a cause freed millions from oppression and violence. There's the model of Cato himself, who made a career out of purity, out of his refusal to give an inch in the face of pressure to compromise and deal, whose example was vaunted not only by all the other Stoics, but the founding fathers as well. These stories are there to inspire us and challenge us, to say, why are you working so hard to be more successful, but not as hard to be more generous, more patient, more honest, or more loving? They're there to help you build your own little book, like Marcus did, of examples to draw on when

• 3:44Speaker 00

  you're tempted, when you feel stressed, or you face a terrible dilemma. Will we do the right thing? Will we do the selfless and amazing thing? Or will we do the easy thing, the self-interested thing, the heroic thing, or the dishonorable thing? These lives, these stories, these books, which were not easy to track down, but always wonderful to write, they can make the crucial difference in how we respond to life's obstacles and challenges. And look, because I would love for you to preorder the book. It really helps authors to help get a book off the ground. I've got a bunch of awesome bonuses for you. You can get signed and numbered pages from the manuscript. You can have dinner with me. Do a bunch of awesome stuff. I would love for you to do that. You can head over to dailystoic.com/justice

• 4:28Speaker 00

  to grab that today. Really appreciate it, and we'll talk to you soon.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another Thursday episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I told you back in March, I did a little event at the Bastrop Public Library. Bastrop is the town where the Painted Porch is. It's the county where my ranch is. It's where the head, it's where I'm recording this right now. And so when the public library asked me if I might come do a little Q and A for a fundraiser they were doing to raise money for the library, I said, of course. It was a nice little chat. My kids were really excited to go. And then my son just couldn't keep it together. And it was, it was an interesting little insight, like, he wanted to do something, but then he didn't have what we would call the self-command to be able to sit through it. And so he ended up going and playing outside. It didn't get in

• 5:25Speaker 00

  trouble or something, but it was clear he wanted to do something, but then he couldn't do something. And that, what I took from the experience was, I learned a lot from that, watching this sort of out of the corner of my eyes, I'm trying to answer the questions and was watching my son sort of be in this little battle with two parts of himself. It's affected how my wife and I have sort of parented and talked about since. But that's, of course, not what I was talking about in the Q and A. People wanted to ask about books, of course, they wanted to talk about some of the writing influences on my life, some of my favorite books, and just how I think about things. So I'll give you that now. Here is me talking at the Bastrop Public Library, answering some questions about Stoicism and reading. And next time I do a talk, I hope to see you

• 6:10Speaker 00

  there. I know I'm doing one in New York at the Barnes and Noble in Union Square on the 11th at 6:00 PM. So I'm going to be doing a talk there, answering questions just like this about the new book. So if you want to come out to that, I will see you in New York City. I think you can get the info on their website. But without further ado, here's me talking books at the Bastrop Public Library.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  You've spoken about the philosophy of daily dying. When your present gift of life comes to an end, which I hope is a very long time from now.

• 6:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're gonna jinx me.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  I won't, I won't. What do you hope will be said or written about?

• 6:59Speaker 00

  I don't think that much about that. It's not really something you control. I think someone, uh, someone told me once, uh, legacy is not for you, which I think about. You know, part, part of the reason, uh, that we are often so motivated to achieve or accomplish or make stuff is we think we're, it's like some little version of immortality. Psychologists call this the denial of death. You know, if you just become rich enough or write enough things or produce some work of art, it's some way of surviving. I think the Stoics would say you're still dead. So, uh, you know, being discovered 200 years after your death

• 7:42Speaker 00

  or still being in print, you know, does it mean anything to Alexander the Great that Alexandria is still named after him? No, uh, he doesn't know. And this is something even, you know, in Marcus Aurelius's time, that he's trying to remember himself, uh, he's trying to remind himself of. And then the, the really humbling thing is like, even if you do really accomplish something, I mean, how many, how many people remember like three vice presidents ago or even three presidents ago? You know, you get forgotten pretty quickly. So I, I just try to do good work that I'm proud of. And I try, I, it's not easy. And it's been a journey for me, but I have tried to get to a place where more and more of the win of whatever it is that I'm doing

• 8:27Speaker 00

  is locked in before it even comes out. And so if how it does on the bestseller list or how many copies it sells, or if people say I did a great job, whatever. Obviously you want all that, but if that's what I am needing to justify the thing or to have made it all worth it, then basically. What I've done is, is I, I've handed over my happiness or a sense of self to a thing that's unpredictable, you know? And so I've got, I think I've gotten to a place where I'm more and more content each time having gotten to do it and then what I ultimately did and then the other stuff is extra.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  You still care, but I feel like there used to be this tool was called Novel Rank and it was basically the, the most manipulative addictive thing you could imagine creating for a writer. You would type in the ISBN for your book and it would show you its rank on every Amazon in every country and then every other site that sells books. And so you'd be like, you could just refresh it and just see. And I remember the, the day when it got shut down going like, I've just been given an incredible gift. You know, I used to check more like how it's doing and I kind of use almost that as a metric.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Like I think early in my career, I looked to see how things were selling to see if I was doing good or not. And I think now I look at how often I'm looking to see if I'm doing good or not. And I don't look very much and every once in a while I'll get something like I'll be CC'd on an email or my agent will be like, hey, did you know this? And if it's good news, I'm like, thanks. And then if it's not good news, I'm like, I wish you hadn't told me. So I, I just try, I just try to think about it less. And the paradoxical thing about it, and this, I'm sure this sounds like nonsense unless you're in that position, but weirdly the less I have cared about it and the less I have thought about it, the better they have done.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  And I don't think that's some magical intention thing. I think it's just instead of spending that energy hoping, I just spent it making better stuff. And then also my expectations are lower and I'm more easily pleased.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Okay. In your opinion, how important is teaching reading to children of what age?

• 10:56Speaker 00

  I would say very important, the most important thing. Yeah, I mean, if you're not trying to raise a reader, like, what are you doing? I don't, I don't know anyone who doesn't want their kid to read. There's some quote I like where it's like, it's almost a criminal offense to raise your kid in a house without books. And I totally agree with that. And, you know, my life has been shaped by books. I feel so grateful to have been like, I was just thinking about the other day, like, I was talking to someone who was pretty young and I was just thinking about how many wonderful books they don't even know exist yet, right? And the joy of getting to discover those books for the first time. What an incredible future they have ahead of them if they choose to do it.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  So, you know, books are just this, I think Stephen, was it Stephen King? He said, "Books are uniquely portable magic." You know, it's just, it's an incredible, an incredible thing. And one of the things you really see when you read is just how influential books have been to the people that you like. You know, Marcus Aurelius's life is changed in his twenties when his philosophy teacher, Junius Risticus, gives him a copy of Epictetus's lectures. And, you know, he's writing about it as an old man in meditations, like, you know, that he's so grateful that he loaned him this copy of this book. And then I had that same experience, you know, 2,000 years later and, you know, many people in between and, and after will have that experience.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  It's just such a wonderful thing. So I just, I love books. I love any place there are books. I love any way to get books. And, and so far, the kids seem like they, they love books. They have access to things that I didn't. And in that, like, you know, audiobooks are this wonderful thing now. And I try not to be a snob about, about what, how people consume books because as like a physical book person who, one of the reasons I don't use libraries is that I must write in books. And, and you guys frown upon that for some strange reason. But so I'm, I'm that way, but you know, now I think. Something like 60% of my sales are digital,

• 13:09Speaker 00

  either audio or ebook. And so, you know, whatever gets people reading is wonderful in my view. And, you know, I probably would have fallen in love with audiobooks if someone told me you could get the benefits of reading without reading. I, one of the things I like about planes is that it's like some of the only screen free time that I get, you know? No, so only physical. Samantha's the same way. So the problem is when we travel, going there is fine, but it's usually the coming back because we've accumulated so many books during the trip. We, we've had to mail back books many times, but only physical for me. And, and I mean, I'm going through this now. I'm doing the fourth book in my virtue series and, you know, just the experience of being able to drop from my own library,

• 13:54Speaker 00

  books that I read and took notes on 10 or 15 years ago, and not having known what I would need them for. And then then filling perfectly the thing like that. That's one of the, when, when Stephen King said the books are magic. That's a magical thing that I think, you know, the most dedicated readers get to experience, but it really is a magical thing. When, when you have exactly what you need, it's like going back in time or it's like you flashed forward all these years in the future. You didn't know you would need that thing. Or that that passage that you read when you were 20 would matter to you, you know, a decade later, whatever. That, that's just like my absolute favorite thing.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Thank you for that. Would you say that the books that you write are geared only towards working professionals, adults? How do you feel about the current generation of young adults as far as like discipline is destiny path?

• 14:53Speaker 00

  One of the coolest things that happens in the bookstore is someone will come in. And they're usually older than me and they'll be doing something and then they'll say that their, their kids turned them on to my books. And I love that multi-generation. First off, I love anytime, I was just, I was in San Diego and I was talking to this driver and he was talking about his son had turned him on to all this weird music. And, and I was just, I love anytime, you know, a parent is open-minded enough to, to like, learn about things from their kids and that, I love that shared connection. I love it most when it's about books, you know? And so it's always cool that like, their kid saw a YouTube video or a TikTok or something and read this book and then they, they made their, their dad

• 15:37Speaker 00

  or their mom read it. That's, that's like my favorite thing. So I don't know who the books are for or not for. You try to make them for everyone, but then you also understand if you are for everyone, you're probably for no one. So is this kind of weird thing? You kind of, you're, you're kind of always talking to yourself with this hope that there's a lot of you out there and you don't know. I mean, when I wrote The Obstacle is the Way, I definitely knew that there had been certain classical works that had crossed over like in the business world, you know, whether it's Machiavelli or Sun Tzu. And I maybe, I definitely was thinking that it would work in the business world. And it's funny, like, for some reason, I don't know where they're categorized here, but most bookstores have my books in the business section, just because that's where The Obstacle is the Way

• 16:19Speaker 00

  was for, it's called BICEC, that's how they categorize books. That's where it was categorized at first. And I think they just, they tried to keep them all together. So sometimes people will go like, I went to the philosophy section, they didn't have them. Probably more people shop in the business section than the philosophy section. So, you know, it doesn't bother me. But you just hope it's for as many people as possible.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I do know that Chief Canales, who's the ROTC director at the high school, starts every class day with a daily Stoic.

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Really? Oh, man.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  And he said that his students have become very self-sufficient, that sometimes he'll come in late because he's been in a meeting and that they've started things based on the Stoic message that they got that day. So it's.

• 16:59Speaker 00

  Well, my, so I did the Daily Stoke with Steve Hanselman, who is my longtime book agent. He sold my first book and I sort of like a father figure to me is a dear friend. And when I, so I'd done The Obstacles Away and I was writing Ego is the Enemy. And he said to me, you know, we should do, he said, you should do a book, a page a day of Stoicism. And I said, what's a page a day book? I didn't even know that that was a thing. And he showed me some, he'd published like The Daily Drucker when he had been at Harper Collins. And so I was like, oh, this is cool. And I said, but I see there's only one problem. I don't speak Greek or Latin. How am I supposed to do these translations? And he said, oh, I'll do them. And I said, have you been holding out on me? You speak Greek and Latin? Why, how did this just come up?

• 17:44Speaker 00

  So he, he did all those. And then he, he said, you know, I think it'll be your bestselling book. And I said, that sounds like something an agent would say. And I thought you were just thinking that he was just being nice. And, you know, lo and behold, it's become this whole sort of sensation, which I know no one expected because if my publisher had any inclination, they grievously screwed me over by the advance that they offered. So I, I think like, nobody thought it would be a thing. You know, in retrospect, it's always clear, you know, oh, of course. But at the time, I think everyone was hoping, you know, for a modest reception. And it's become this, this whole movement, which is really cool.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Other than Robert Greene and Seneca Aurelius, who's, who would you say has had the greatest influence on your personal life?

• 18:33Speaker 00

  As an, like an author?

• 18:35Speaker 01

  No, that's Ryan.

• 18:37Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, well, my wife, probably, who, you know, it's funny. So I have my, my copy of Meditations. I bought mine on Amazon and Amazon Prime didn't exist. And I remember waiting for it to arrive. I remember I had to buy some other books because Prime didn't exist. And for you kids, you just have to spend $25 on Amazon for, to get free shipping. And so I bought it and that book changed. And then, but then I, I took it off the shelf, you know, a couple of years ago. And I thought. I thought it was my copy and I opened it and there was a receipt and the receipt was from Borders in Riverside, California. And I was checking the date and I realized that this was like a week or two after my wife and I had gone on our first date.

• 19:19Speaker 00

  And I had just read the book and I had mentioned it and then she went and bought it. And so it's her copy. And we're still together all these years later, we have two kids and this bookstore together. So probably almost certainly her.