It's Easy To Take This For Granted | Teach Them To Do The Right Thing

The more you are content with your surroundings, whatever they are, the more power you have.📕 We’re excited to announce that we’ve put together a special leatherbound edition of The Daily Dad just in time for the holidays! Check it out at dailydad.com/leather🎙️ Listen to the Daily Dad podcast: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com📱 Follow Daily Dad: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube ✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

• 0:03Speaker 00

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from The Daily Stoic, my book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn these words into works.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  It's so easy to take progress and luxury for granted. Warren Buffett has talked about how somebody today with the comfort of heating and air conditioning has what a 15th-century king could have only dreamed of: being cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Yet, how many of us have sat in the seasonally appropriate climate of our home and felt bad that we didn't live somewhere bigger or nicer? The coach section of most airplanes now has technology, electrical outlets, headrest televisions with hundreds of movie options that first class didn't have even just a few years ago. The planes are faster and cheaper to buy tickets on, too, and they are no longer filled with toxic Don Draper-era

• 1:27Speaker 00

  cigarette smoke. Still, we complain that they don't serve meals anymore, or that we didn't get a free upgrade, or that the seat in the emergency exit row doesn't recline. This is why the Stoics spent so much effort trying to limit their attachments to various comforts. They worked at being self-contained, at not needing the newest and fanciest or most expensive new luxury, because they understood that it was not only ungrateful, it was a quest that only ever ended in disappointment. The more you are content with your surroundings, whatever they are, the more power you have. The fact that Warren Buffett still lives in a house he bought in the 1960s...

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Because it was plenty of house for him, that he still drives a Buick because it was plenty of car for him, hasn't stopped him from achieving or helping people. You can still even fly first class if you like. Just put it in its proper context, which is to say, don't complain if the satellite TV goes out when you're over the Rockies, or if they ran out of your preferred entree option at meal service. Because if you stepped back and looked at it historically, even in your own life, you'd see just how far ahead you'd already come.

• 2:43Speaker 00

  Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another Friday episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. As you know, usually on Fridays, I read an excerpt from the Daily Stoic and then we riff on it. Well, today I've got something very special in my hands. It just came off the plane, I think a plane. We didn't do boats because we were worried about that longshoreman strike that was going to shut down all the ports. The lead time on some of the stuff we make for Daily Stoic is many months in advance. And so that was happening as we were deciding between air freight and boat freight and all of that, ended up going into the Gulf somewhere, then up the Mississippi to our distributor in Illinois. But I haven't told you what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the leather edition of the Daily Dad. And if you haven't

• 3:27Speaker 00

  read the Daily Dad, which is daily Stoic-esque, one sort of thought from the ancients or from the wise every day to help center you. Some of them are inspired by Stoic philosophy. So I'm going to read not the December 6 entry, but the May 18 entry. I'm just cracking this one for the first time. I don't know if you can hear that. That's the gilded pages kind of splitting for the first time. Anyways, I'm going to read the May 18 entry. Let me find it here. God, I love that sound. Teach them to do the right thing. This is the May 18 entry from the Daily Dad, 366 Meditations on Parenting Love.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  And raising great kids, rather, adults. The quote is from Marcus Aurelius, "Just that you do the right thing, the rest doesn't matter." In the beautiful and hilarious novel, A Man Called Ove, young Ove is working at the same rail yard as his father. He is cleaning a car with another worker, Tom, when they find a briefcase left by a passenger. Instinctively, Tom goes to steal it. Ove is surprised. A few seconds later, he finds and he picks up a wallet left by a different passenger. Just then, Ove's father walks in. He asks Ove what he wants to do with the wallet. Ove suggests that they return it to the lost and found, where it's quickly claimed by the woman who lost it.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  "Not many people have ever handled this much money," the woman says. Well, Ove's father replies, "Many people don't have any decency either." Later that evening, Ove asks his father why he didn't tell management about the briefcase that Tom had stolen. His father shakes his head and replies, "We're not the sort of people who tell tales about what others do." In both instances, Ove's father is showing his boy what decency looks like. Decency is about what you do. It's not a standard you hold others to. Decency is what you do with the money you find. It's how you raise your kids. It's not something you wield. It's not something you gossip about. It's something you embody and embrace.

• 5:37Speaker 00

  You know, to me, that lesson, the Stoic lesson there, is like, we don't control what other people do. We don't control that other people lie and cheat and do terrible things sometimes, but we control who we are. We control what we handle. Strict with ourselves, tolerant with others. That's another quote from Marcus Aurelius. It could be at the, the top of this one there. We do the right thing because it's the right thing. And if I'm remembering correctly, it doesn't work out for The boy, I think he gets in trouble somehow, right? People aren't always going to appreciate it the way that the woman did. But it's funny, as I'm reading this, I'm looking at the other entry. The whole month of May in the book is about character and how characters fade.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  And there's another story, a very stoic lesson, I think, that we tell in the May 19th entry, which I figure I'll read here for you. It says, "Teach them to be bigger. A 10-year-old Jim Lawson was walking down the street when, as he passed a car, a small child looked at him and called him the N-word. Stunned by the hate and the meanness of it, Lawson reached into the car and slapped the boy in the face. When his mother found out about this, she was understandably worried. In the then segregated and racist South, the actions of a young black boy could so easily lead to something terrible and tragic at the hands of awful and unaccountable adults. But more than that, she wanted her son not to be defined or changed by the hate of the world around him.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  "What good did that do you, Jimmy?" his mother asked him. "We all love you, Jimmy, and God loves you," she explained, "and we all believe in you and how good and intelligent you are. We have a good life, and you are going to have a good life. With all that love, what harm does that stupid insult do? It's nothing, Jimmy," she said, "it's empty. Just ignorant words from an ignorant child who has gone from your life the moment it was said." This was a life-changing exchange. It put Jim Lawson onto his world-changing path of nonviolence. He would organize the first sit-ins in Nashville in the 1960s. It helped him realize that he was above the horrible things that other people said and did, and that what mattered was what he said and did.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  What mattered was responding with kindness and love. What mattered was knowing that he was good and that he was loved, and that nothing anyone else thought or what anyone else did could change that. Lawson's parents there gave him the gift of teaching him that he was bigger than the small people who lived around him, that he could be bigger and do bigger things. And now, here today, can you do the same for your children?

• 8:15Speaker 00

  I love that story. I read it in David Halberstam's The Children and it stuck with me and just a beautiful, beautiful story, which I was honored to tell in the book. Anyways, another Stoic lesson. We don't control what other people do. We control how we respond to it. We can't let it change us, can't let it affect us. As Marx realized, who'd say, "The best revenge is to not be like the one who injured you, to not be like the one who harmed you." Anyways, that's two entries from the Daily Dad book. I'm having a lot of joy. It's too perfect just hearing these pages. Crack of this new leather edition, which you can grab at dailydad.com/leather. I hope you check it out. Really proud of this thing. I love

• 8:57Speaker 00

  this book. It's one of my favorite things to do. And if you like this, we do a Daily Dad meditation every day over on the Daily Dad Podcasts, just like Daily Stoic, daily email, daily podcast, a bunch of great content on social too. So if you haven't checked out Daily Dad, do that and check out the book, dailydad.com/leather. Still shipping in time, hopefully to make it to you if you want to give it as a gift to someone in your family. And I'll leave you there.

• 9:28Speaker 00

  Thanks so much for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. If you don't know this, you can get these delivered to you via email every day. Check it out, dailystoic.com/email.