Can You Be a Glow Worm? | Say No to the Need to Impress

Ryan talks about how nothing will last forever, and reads this week’s meditation from The Daily Stoic Journal. For a limited time, UCAN is offering you 30% off on your first order when you use code STOIC at checkout Just go to UCAN. CO/STOICSign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://DailyStoic.com/emailFollow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  Bienvenidos al podcast diario de Stoic. Cada día te traemos una meditación inspirada por los antiguos estoicos, ilustrada con historias de la historia, eventos actuales y literatura para ayudarte a ser mejor en lo que haces. Y al principio de la semana intentamos hacer un profundizar, estableciendo una especie de intención estoica para la semana, algo para meditar, algo para pensar, algo para dejarte con, para journalizar, lo que sea que te ocurra de hacer. Así que vamos a entrar.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  ¿Puedes ser un gusano de luz? Marcus Aurelius no siempre habla de la vida en los términos más brillantes. Sabía que los seres humanos eran deshonestos y desagradables. Sabía que todos nacieron para morir. "Somos solo carne rotada en una bolsa", dijo una vez, observando. "Todos se olvidarán eventualmente". Pero ¿a eso significa que todo era pointless, que la vida era sin sentido? Absolutamente no, y la vida que vivió hizo eso claro. Quizás sea similar a la maravillosa frase pequeña de Winston Churchill. "Somos todos gusanos", dijo Churchill, "pero creo que soy un gusano de luz". Es verdad que somos todos gusanos. Somos solo carne rotada en una bolsa. Somos una inmensa plagia sobre la tierra. Se nos olvidará.

• 1:21Speaker 00

  Esa es la verdad sobre nuestra especie. Pero dentro de eso, tal vez haya algo de lugar para ser especial, para no ser tan malo, para encontrar algo de alegría o color, para brillar. Ninguno de esto durará para siempre, pero es bueno mientras dura. Si nos recuerdan tanto como Marcus Aurelius, o lo logramos tanto como Churchill, o solo el 1% de eso, podemos ser un gusano de luz, o un rey de filósofos, y crear una vida significativa en el mundo pequeño que es nuestro. No decirle a la necesidad de impresionar. And this is from this week's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal, "366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living" by yours truly and my co-writer and translator, Stephen Hanselman.

• 2:06Speaker 00

  I actually do this journal every single day. There's a question in the morning, a question in the afternoon. Then there's these sort of weekly meditations. As Epictetus says, "Every day and night, we keep thoughts like this at hand. Write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself and others about them." You can check out the Daily Stoic Journal anywhere books are sold. You can also get a signed, personalized copy from me in the Daily Stoic store. It's store.dailystoic.com. "If the desire to impress and be liked by others is innate to humans as a species, then every generation born before social media got lucky. Today, we face an unending stream of status updates demanding to be filled with all the impressive things we are doing, the trials we are overcoming, announcements of our dangers averted, and triumphs realized. It's exhausting."

• 2:51Speaker 00

  "Centuries ago, Epictetus saw this pride and narcissism even in his own computerless students and reminded them that it wasn't so innocent. In fact, he told them that it would destroy their life's purpose. It would distract and fatigue them. Seneca, too, saw the seeking of approval of spectators as one of life's disgraces. Watch those impulses today. Notice how much you seem to need your phone and status updates and ask, 'Is this the person I want to be? Is this what a philosopher would do?'" And this is from this week's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal, which you can check out. I do the journal every morning. I sit down and spend some time with the blank pages. We've got two Epictetus quotes and one Seneca quote to round it out.

• 3:36Speaker 00

  "If you should ever turn your will to things outside your control in order to impress someone, be sure that you have wrecked your whole purpose in life. Be content, then, to be a philosopher in all that you do. And if you wish also to be seen as one, show yourself first that you are, and you will succeed." That's Epictetus's Inqueridion 23.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  In public, avoid talking often and excessively about your own accomplishments and dangers. For however much you enjoy recounting your dangers, it is not pleasant for others to hear about your affairs. Epictetus's Incoridion 33:14. How disgraceful is the lawyer whose dying breath passes well at court at an advanced age, pleading for unknown litigants and still seeking the approval of ignorant spectators? Seneca on the brevity of life. 20. You know, I think about this. I have a little rule for me. When I'm working on a book, I don't talk about it. I don't tell people that I've finished. I don't tell people that I just finished chapter two. I don't, I don't tell people that I just signed a deal.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  In fact, on my last book deal, I didn't even announce it. I could have gotten a little press and early in my life, I kind of wanted that validation. Hey, I did it. Maybe media, maybe it's good for my brand. Now I see all that stuff as distraction. Even social media, if you, if you follow me, I'm at Ryan Holiday on Twitter and Facebook and yeah, on Instagram and at Daily Stoic also. But you'll notice there's almost no real time updates from me. I never really got the habit, but when I feel it peeking up, I break it immediately. These are not platforms for me to fish for validation. I don't want to say, hey, look what I'm doing. And then people go, oh, you're so great. Oh, you're so awesome. And I'm not saying they do that because I'm like well known. I'm saying like your friends do this. We want to congratulate each other. We want to encourage each other.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  And I get that, but that's not why I want to be a writer. That's not why I want to do things. As I say in The Boy Who Would Be King, all the things Marcus Aurelius did made him very popular. It's not why he did it. He did it because they're the right thing. So I, I try not to let social media. I try not to let the chase for validation or approval. I try, I just, it's not a need I really ever try to sate. I don't feed it because I, I feel like the more you feed it, the more it wants from you. So I try to focus on just not talk, I try to let my work do the talking about my work. That's not to say I don't believe in marketing. I do. Brand is important. I mean, I have the social media. I just try to have a healthy relationship with it, a healthy balance with it.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  So I'm using it, it is not using me. And look, Twitter and Facebook and Clubhouse and all these apps, you're the product that's being sold. They're exploiting your need for validation and attention, right? They know that you want to tell people what you're doing and then you want to hear what people say about what you're doing. And then you want to respond to the people who aren't liking it enough. And then you want to check back and see how many comments it got or likes it got or whatever. There's a reason Instagram, I think Instagram did people a public service when they turned off, you know, some of the, not everyone can see how many likes or, you know, views their posts got. I think that's great. As a public figure, they leave these tools and they are tempting. And so I don't even have it on my phone. I don't want to touch it.

• 6:54Speaker 00

  Every time I, I never go to one of these sites and I feel better about myself as a person. I just feel that that insatiable need has been encouraged a little bit. So let's say no to trying to impress other people. Let's not care what other people think. As Marcus Aurelius said, this is another quote we could have included in the entry. He says, you know, "We care about ourselves more than other people, yet for some reason we care about their, their opinions way too much." No, focus on what you have to do. Focus on you. Focus on what you think, what you know is right. Do things for that reason. If you get validation for it afterwards, wonderful, but that can't be why you do it. And if it is why you do it, it's going to break your heart, I promise you. So say no to the desire to impress other people.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  Plus, other people, man, they don't know. They're wrong 99% of the time anyway. Focus on what you know. Just do the right thing. The rest doesn't matter. Thanks so much for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. If you don't know this, you can get these delivered to you via email every day. Check it out at dailystoic.com/email.