Who Can Tell You You’re Wrong? | What's In Your Way Is The Way

The thing about power is not so much that it changes you but that it changes the people around you. It changes what they’re willing to say to you…and how they say it.🎥 Watch Why Narcissistic Leaders Always Fail (In The End) on The Daily Stoic YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ4gbvjdIao📓 Pick up a signed edition of The Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on The Art of Living: https://store.dailystoic.com/💡We designed The Daily Stoic Leadership Challenge: Ancient Wisdom For Modern Leaders to mirror the kind of education that produced historically great leaders like Marcus Aurelius. Check it out at store.dailystoic.comGet The Daily Stoic Leadership Challenge: Ancient Wisdom For Modern Leaders & all other Daily Stoic courses for FREE when you join Daily Stoic Life | dailystoic.com/life📕 Grab a leatherbound edition of The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday📖 Preorder the final book in Ryan Holiday's The Stoic Virtues Series: "Wisdom Takes Work": https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/wisdom-takes-work🎙️ Follow The Daily Stoic Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoicpodcast🎥 Watch top moments from The Daily Stoic Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dailystoicpodcast✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic-inspired meditation, designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women, help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit DailyStoic.com.

• 0:56Ryan Holiday?

  Who can tell you that you're wrong? The thing about power is not so much that it changes you, but that it changes the people around you. Suddenly, they want something from you. Suddenly, they are dependent on you. Suddenly, they are afraid of you. And this changes what they do and think. It changes what they're willing to say to you and how they say it. We're told that the Emperor Hadrian once got in an argument with Favorinus, his favorite philosopher, who, it's worth noting, was an intersex individual way back in the year 100 AD, which belies the notion that gender fluidity is some modern woke invention. But the point is that Favorinus had tried to correct his boss, but after experiencing Hadrian's resistance,

• 1:41Ryan Holiday?

  conceded the point even though he knew he was right. "Why would you do such a thing?" his friends asked. Favorinus chuckled and chastised them in turn. "Don't you understand?" he said. "The smartest man was obviously the one who has the 30 legions." One makes a god king feel stupid at their peril, he was saying. But he was also expressing in this instance, the inherent weakness in Hadrian's position. Because people were afraid of him, he was unlikely to get the truth or the opportunities to improve or learn. And that's something that such an important job actually requires. A couple of months ago, we did a video over on the Daily Stoic YouTube channel about how narcissistic leaders almost always fail in the end.

• 2:25Ryan Holiday?

  It's already approaching like two million views. I think it's one of the best things we've done. The point of the video is that even if these leaders manage to defy the odds and live to die a natural death, as Hadrian did, it's not usually fun for them or the people that they purport to serve. And this is almost certainly why Marcus Rilis talks so much about accepting correction and admitting error in meditations. He knew that if he hoped to escape imperialism, he would first have to escape his ego and find a way around the sycophancy that his occupation engendered. And again, no matter what level of leadership we are, we must do the same. No one is born to leadership. It's something we learn, something we figure out.

• 3:08Ryan Holiday?

  It's about the structure we build around us, the education we undergo. And this is something that we built into the Daily Stoic Leadership Challenge. It's called Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Leader. It's, I think, one of the best courses we've done at Daily Stoic. We interview all these people. One of the people we interviewed went on to be the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. We interview the CEO of the Spurs. We interview a bunch of elected leaders, people who hold all different types of private and professional power. And they talked a lot about how the Stoic teachings can help make us a better leader. I think it's one of the best courses we did. As I said, it's worth signing up for Daily Stoic Life just to get that because they're almost the same price. So if you're thinking about doing that, this is a great time. I'll link to that in today's show notes.

• 3:53Ryan Holiday?

  You should check it out.

• 4:03Ryan Holiday?

  What's in your way is the way. Obstacles are a fact of life. Even the most powerful and lucky of us are not exempt from this reality. But we have a superpower at our hands through Stoic philosophy in that our purposes, our intentions, our attitudes can adapt to any conditions to find a way forward. The Stoics talk about acting with a reserve clause that allows us to reconsider and set a new course of action if needed. And Marcus Aurelius tells us that any obstacle can actually become raw material for a new purpose. So that's what you should think about today and this week. How might the obstacles you're facing reveal a new path?

• 4:47Ryan Holiday?

  And this is from the Daily Stoic Journal, 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living. Every week, we have a sort of a daily meditation. We've got three quotes from Marcus Aurelius along these lines today. "While it's true that someone can impede our actions, they can't impede our intentions or our attitudes, which have the power of being conditional and adaptable. For the mind adapts and converts any obstacle to its actions into a means of achieving it. And that which is the obstacle to action is turned to advance action. The obstacle on the path becomes the way." That's Meditations 520. Marcus also says in 835, "Just as nature turns to its own purpose, any obstacle or

• 5:32Ryan Holiday?

  any opposition sets its place in the destined order and co-ops it so every rational person can convert any obstacle into the raw material for their own purpose." And then Meditations 832. So clearly, he thinks about this a lot. He says, "You must build up your life, action by action, and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possible, and no one can keep you from this. But there will be some external obstacle, perhaps," he says, "but no obstacle to acting with justice, self-control, and wisdom. But what if some area of my action is thwarted? Well, gladly accept it." Up the obstacle for what it is and shift your attention to what is given. And another action will immediately take its place, one that better fits the life you are building.

• 6:18Ryan Holiday?

  As you know, this is what I built the obstacles, the way around these ideas. But let me read you Gregory Hayes's translation in that same line, 520, because it's obviously been so instrumental to me. And I think Hayes does it quite well also. And it's interesting, he's clearly referring Marcus not to a specific kind of obstacle, difficult people. In a sense, people are our proper occupation. This is Meditations 520. Our job is to do them good and put up with them. But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us like the sun, wind or animals. Our actions may be impeded by them, but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions because we can't accommodate and adapt.

• 7:01Ryan Holiday?

  The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes, the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. Let's look at the Robin Waterfield translation of the same line. From one point of view, nothing is more proper to me than a human being. Insofar as it's my job to do people good and tolerate them. But insofar as some people threaten my proper work, I count a human being as just another indifferent, no less than the sun or the wind or a wild animal. These things may impede some of my activities, but they can't impede my impulses or my state of mind because I have powers of reservation and adaptation.

• 7:42Ryan Holiday?

  The mind can adapt and alter every impediment to action to serve its purpose. Something that might have hindered a task contributes to it instead. And something that was an obstacle on the road helps you on your way. So it doesn't matter which translation you read, the message is the same. Stuff happens, stuff gets in our way, but it presents us the opportunity to do something different. So in this sense, the obstacle is the way. It's not that, you know, life erects this wall in front of you and the way is through that wall. It's that when the door shuts, a window opens. It's that when you wanted everything to go well, and then someone screws it up. Now it's a chance to practice patience. Now it's a chance to practice forgiveness.

• 8:27Ryan Holiday?

  Now it's a chance to start over. Now it's a chance to, you know, extricate yourself from this toxic relationship, whatever it is, right? What Marcus is saying is that everything that happens in life, every obstacle, as maddening and frustrating and as painful as they might be, they are opportunities to practice a different virtue, that virtue is always the way and that nothing stops us from being able to do that. I just love that passage so much. If I had the time, I'd grab the Pierre Hidot chapter on this very idea, which also helps inspire The Obstacle is the Way. He talks about sort of the art of turning obstacles upside down. To me, this is a central practice in Stoicism. It's why I've got it tattooed on my arm. It's why I wrote a book about it. It's why we talk about it so much.

• 9:12Ryan Holiday?

  This idea of amor fati, we accept and then we use what's happened to our advantage. That's the essence of Stoicism. I hope that inspires you a little bit today. People are our proper occupation. We tolerate them, we put up with them. And all the obstacles they roll into our way, all the problems they cause us are actually not problems, but opportunities to practice the very virtues of courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. That's what we're doing here. And by the way, we do have leather bound edition of The Obstacle is the Way, which comes with the Obstacle is the Way challenge coin as well. Check that out at dailystoic.com/ObstacleLeather.

• 9:52Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple of years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please, spread the word, tell people about it. And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.