Greta Lee

Actress and writer Greta Lee feels excited about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Greta sits down with Conan to discuss her childhood deeply rooted in Korean identity, experiencing a massive cultural shift moving to the Midwest, experiencing the impact of her role in the 2023 romantic drama Past Lives on audiences, and her upcoming Netflix film The Last House. Later, Sona celebrates husband Tak’s recent promotion to black belt in karate. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (323) 362-2295.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Owning a car or home comes with responsibilities. Sure, it's fun, but sometimes it makes you wonder why you ever longed for adulthood in the first place. I do that all the time. I'm like, oh, these bills, these bills. What am I gonna do?

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  You know, when you own a house, you gotta fix it yourself. Sona,

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:17Conan O'Brien?

  You, you see this to be true, right?

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, your garage door breaks and you're like, well, I have to fix it.

• 0:22Conan O'Brien?

  Probably at first you said, hey, I'll get the super to fix it. It's your house, dude.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  It's mine, dude!

• 0:27Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:39Speaker 01

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• 0:41Conan O'Brien?

  It's in my head all the time.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 0:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Start your quote at libertymutual.com.

• 0:46Speaker 02

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• 1:19Speaker 01

  Hi, my name is Greta Lee.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  And I feel...

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Excited...

• 1:39Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god!

• 1:40Speaker 01

  About being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 1:44Conan O'Brien?

  Greta, you just stepped the record. That was the longest, uh, it wouldn't be the longest intro, because that record is held by Jeff Goldblum, who went, oh, mm, oh, oh, for maybe 45 minutes, but there was just silence.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  I just died a little bit.

• 2:01Conan O'Brien?

  I saw it.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  And then came back to life.

• 2:25Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I am Conan O'Brien, of course, joined by my two chums, pals, amigos. They're my ride-along buddies, that's right. Sona Movsesian.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  What's up?

• 2:36Conan O'Brien?

  And, what? And, uh, okay, I don't think you really wanna know what's up with me. I think you just said that.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  I do, I didn't, I don't wanna know.

• 2:43Conan O'Brien?

  And Matt Groley, how are you, Matt?

• 2:44Speaker 03

  I'm good. Did you kinda mean ride or die? Because ride-alongs feels like you're a cop and we're like your kids.

• 2:50Conan O'Brien?

  I think comedically, I'm an expert and you two are researching the role of being funny and you're riding along with me.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 2:58Conan O'Brien?

  But then we stop and we're involved in a shootout.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  But we also don't have a choice to who we get to ride along with.

• 3:02Conan O'Brien?

  No, you don't.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  To learn how to be funny?

• 3:03Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly, you know? You want it to be, hey, I wanna ride along with Bill Hader. No, that's not gonna work out. You're with Conan O'Brien. Bleh.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  What's our shootout?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Sometimes you do get phrases wrong.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  I do, yeah.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it makes me laugh. Like you said cute meat the other day when we were recording, and it's meat cute.

• 3:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but you know what? You can flip those around, whatever you want. I play with language like James Joyce.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:26Conan O'Brien?

  I'm constantly, no, no, I'm very creative with it. You're like, "The rule is to say it this way."

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Well, you're just saying it incorrectly. Cute meat is not the right way to say it. Ride-along makes no sense.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  And cute meat implies like, they didn't have a meat cute, but they just saw each other and went, hey, you kinda got cute meat.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  Like your meat is cute?

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 3:45Conan O'Brien?

  You guys are terrific. And by the way, I want you, I want you out of my comedy cop car.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Well, you can't, these doors are, you can't open from the inside.

• 3:56Conan O'Brien?

  I, I don't follow the rules. I don't, you wanna color inside the lines and do a good job with your talking. I'm all over the map.

• 4:06Conan O'Brien?

  And I think that it's the way to go, you know?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  I think it's just important, like, you remind me sometimes of my mom, and she is not a native English speaker. So you, the two of you have the same sort of grasp on a lot of like news.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  Does she say cathartic like he does?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Do you say cathartic?

• 4:26Conan O'Brien?

  I like to throw a C in there. It makes, it gives it an Arctic chill.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  I didn't realize it was on purpose.

• 4:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 4:33Conan O'Brien?

  I'm telling you, there's a lot that I do that, and you're thinking, of course, you're the guy that if you got in a time machine and go back to look at Picasso and go, "No, no, no, not two eyes on one side of the head. This'll never work. Make cats with big eyes."

• 4:53Conan O'Brien?

  And, and that's why, uh, you know, your time travel adventures are always just terrible. But what I do is I play with the forms. I'm very elastic and creative.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  It's all on purpose.

• 5:05Conan O'Brien?

  Of course it is.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:07Conan O'Brien?

  What are you talking about?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  You say Saturday Night Live weird too, which we've talked about.

• 5:10Conan O'Brien?

  Well, that was years ago.

• 5:11Speaker 03

  No, you said Saturday Night Live.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did it.

• 5:13Conan O'Brien?

  No, I did that. Well, I told you what happened. Lauren is from the deep south.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:17Conan O'Brien?

  And then he invented this whole thing.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  We're not doing this again.

• 5:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, he invented this whole thing about being from Toronto, but when I first met him, he's like, "Hello, Conan, welcome to Saturday Night Live." He was drinking a mint julep and he was fanning himself. He was sitting on a big porch. Big spread down there in Alabama. Anyway, uh, sure, okay, I will try to conform to your more legalistic ways of speaking.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  We could do you. We could go on a comedic ride-along?

• 5:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  That's what it is. So we're both like in the backseat of this cop car.

• 5:46Conan O'Brien?

  And you say I remind you of your mom?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  And you remind me of my...

• 5:47Conan O'Brien?

  Well, she created you and I created you, so that makes sense.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Okay, all right.

• 5:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  You know what?

• 5:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. She birthed you.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  I don't know how to argue with this, because he kinda did.

• 5:55Conan O'Brien?

  And I, I saw you, uh, and I cleaned you up a little bit and then cut you with my magic wand. And now you're international star, Sona Movsesian.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  I can't even argue, because you're kinda right in this.

• 6:07Conan O'Brien?

  And I did clean you up. You were a mess.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  You did not clean me up. I was fine.

• 6:10Conan O'Brien?

  Covered in leaves when I met you.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:12Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, so here we are, and I think that...

• 6:15Speaker 03

  It's good we got that out. I was very cathartic.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  You say words incorrectly. You sound like my mom and she's an immigrant.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  You don't know how to speak English sometimes, even though you were born here and you went to college here. You're supposed to be a writer, but how?

• 6:44Speaker 03

  I love the, the teacup is the best part.

• 6:48Conan O'Brien?

  I should be insulted, but that's one of the better songs, I thought.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 6:52Conan O'Brien?

  It was brilliant. That was really nice.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 6:54Conan O'Brien?

  I will be paying you back for that for weeks and weeks to come.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  I know.

• 6:58Conan O'Brien?

  And so, um...

• 7:00Speaker 01

  My lawyers will be in touch.

• 7:01Conan O'Brien?

  Your lawyers. Your lawyers.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  You mean the ones that are suing you?

• 7:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  David Melman. Maybe you met him.

• 7:10Conan O'Brien?

  She uses lawyers that are suing her.

• 7:12Speaker 03

  That's like when you go to buy a house and you go to the seller's realtor and go, hey, could you represent me?

• 7:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, all right, well, let's get into it. Because this is quite a show that we have today. My guest, uh, this, uh, this fine day is a talented actress. You starred in the fantastic film Past Lives. She also voiced Lily Pad in Toy Story 5, so this...

• 7:32Speaker 01

  I've heard of it.

• 7:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Toy Story 5 is, uh, many people say that performances in Toy Story 5 are the best performances ever recorded.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  I've heard that, but they said they've singled out one. That was problematic.

• 7:42Conan O'Brien?

  They said every single performance. They said one performance in particular really made it.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Greta Lee.

• 7:46Conan O'Brien?

  It was Greta Lee. Well, anyway, now you can see her in the new Netflix movie, The Last House. Uh, she's lovely, super talented, so happy. She stopped by the podcast today.

• 8:01Conan O'Brien?

  Greta Lee, welcome.

• 8:06Conan O'Brien?

  You and I have had some opportunity to hang recently because we are part of the most successful movie of all time.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Oh, is that right? Is it?

• 8:14Conan O'Brien?

  I just said that.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  You guys were in The Odyssey?

• 8:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, we were.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Why, yes, we are there. Did you not make it until the end? We are there. We're definitely there.

• 8:26Conan O'Brien?

  People have always said I have a Matt Damon quality, and I pulled it off. He was unavailable. We are in this movie together, and you were fantastic, by the way. And this thing, I don't know about you, but William Morris Endeavor will send me like a thing that says, you know, "Toy Story 5 has now passed the $800 billion mark, which entitles you to a check for $75." And I'm just really excited, so I just go like, yay, ice cream's on me.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 8:55Conan O'Brien?

  It's really fun.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  It is very fun. I'm, yeah, and I, I don't wanna be gauche about it and bring up, you know, the numbers.

• 9:02Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm sure your numbers are very different. You could carve out, you know? But you know, a lot of people in America, and, um, I'm, I know this to be true, I have facts on this, see that the emotional core of the film, Smarty Pants, uh, and Lily Pad, and there's a lot of like Tom Hanks, who, Joan Cusaw, wha?

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:22Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, there's a lot of that going on.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  That is going on right now.

• 9:26Conan O'Brien?

  In my mind. It's going on in my mind.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  No, it's definitely, I'm not on social media, so it is, I am the right person to confirm it's definitely going on. It's been the blowback. Wow.

• 9:35Conan O'Brien?

  Incredible.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Have you, have you checked in on Tom? Is he okay?

• 9:37Conan O'Brien?

  Tom is, Tom is depressed.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  So depressed.

• 9:40Conan O'Brien?

  He's flatlining.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:42Conan O'Brien?

  You know, just, I mean, these guys, Tim Allen hasn't spoken since the movie came out. Because they're just decimated by all the love

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:51Conan O'Brien?

  for Lily Pad and Smarty Pants.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:53Conan O'Brien?

  Um, did you have fun doing it? Because that was an insane experience.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  The press tour or the actual recording of the movie?

• 9:58Conan O'Brien?

  Press tours are just, I don't even know what to say about press tours. Increasingly, they're more embarrassing.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I would say this one, though, compared to some others, it was pretty okay in terms of the embarrassment factor. I mean, I thought we did some honorable work out there, don't you think?

• 10:14Conan O'Brien?

  We did some honorable work out there. My favorite part was Tom Hanks and I were tossed into a van, driven down to Disneyland, and they said, "We want you to, um, get shot in the theme, in the theme park, you know, videotape of you in the theme park for promotion." And so our characters are behind us going, doop, doo, doo, doo.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  This is real?

• 10:33Conan O'Brien?

  This is real. So we go down there, they take us through all these different tunnels. They put us up, uh, in front of this... Yeah, they put us up in, oh, your graffiti's all over the place.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  You know those tunnels?

• 10:46Conan O'Brien?

  And a lot of Matt's a dick, um, but... He worked there at Disneyland.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 10:52Conan O'Brien?

  Back in the day, he was a talking trash can. And I make fun of him because I'm a talking toilet train. Toilet paper.

• 10:59Speaker 05

  How the mighty.

• 11:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. You actually have the superior position on me. But anyway, they had us pose in front of this flat that could have been anywhere.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:09Conan O'Brien?

  It could have been anywhere. Why did we have to be?

• 11:11Speaker 04

  But you're a method actor. You're performers. You take this seriously.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  They're not gonna shaft you like that. They're gonna put like a green screen behind you.

• 11:19Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly. Now, Greta, once again, as I've always said about Greta Lee, she's always right. She's always right.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  You've always said that.

• 11:26Conan O'Brien?

  You are a lovely person to hang with and talk to. And so we've been trying to figure out, you're very busy. When could we get you here on the podcast to chat? And so I'm so glad you're here.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, you got me.

• 11:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yep. This is our first six hour podcast. We've never done one of these.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  It's a six parter, right?

• 11:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's a six parter.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  Is it six hours in one sitting? Or do I have to come back six times?

• 11:48Conan O'Brien?

  It's cheaper to do six hours in one sitting.

• 11:49Speaker 04

  Okay, got it.

• 11:50Conan O'Brien?

  And no bathroom breaks.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  Oh, great. I have my catheter. Let's go. I'm ready.

• 11:57Conan O'Brien?

  So much to talk about, and I'd like to set the stage a little bit. You're born and raised in Los Angeles. Your parents are immigrants from South Korea. So that culture is super strong when you're growing up.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  Super, super strong.

• 12:13Conan O'Brien?

  And you are, it's kind of, I remember in my family, which is Irish Catholic, there were certain messages we got loud and clear.

• 12:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:21Conan O'Brien?

  About how to behave and what's okay and what's not okay. I'm imagining it's the same thing in the South Korean diaspora.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm still not in the clear. You know, like I'm still being tested. I don't think I've passed yet.

• 12:38Conan O'Brien?

  What's the message that you were given, whether out loud or just subtly? Was it to be quiet? Was it to be a certain kind of person?

• 12:48Speaker 04

  Well, I don't want to be dramatic, but it was like, you are not enough. Stop being so loud. Be a lady. Be more respectful. Stop trying to be funny. It's just weird.

• 13:03Conan O'Brien?

  Also, kind of not ladylike.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:06Conan O'Brien?

  To be funny.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I feel, it's funny, hearing colleagues and other artists talk about, especially people who do comedy, their childhoods filled with, you know, watching SNL together on the couch and the whole family kind of getting behind. That did not exist in my household. It was like, but by the way, my family, the funniest people on this, on this planet, hands down.

• 13:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  However, the idea of like telling a joke, it's like, what, what are you doing? You want to get spanked? Like, what are you doing? So that was, that all came later for me, in terms of like, understanding that, oh, comedy is a business, is a profession, and you can actually do something with that. But yeah, my, my childhood and growing up was deeply rooted in Korean identity. I was also the first born in my family, so that means I was sort of the gateway for everyone. I was the first person to go to school in the States. I was the first person, I remember teaching my parents a Star Spangled Banner for their citizenship test and like, and like, that was hard.

• 14:16Conan O'Brien?

  You should have, if me, I would have taught them the wrong stuff. I would have made up some words in there just to screw with them, you know?

• 14:25Speaker 04

  But it's the test, isn't it?

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  I know, but hey, if my parents get kicked out of the country, that's funny to me.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  You really flunked that one, Dad.

• 14:38Conan O'Brien?

  I'm just saying, it's an opportunity to throw a few extra words in there, maybe get a chuckle.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Oh, sure.

• 14:45Conan O'Brien?

  But I've read that your role models, when you're a young girl, when you're like a young woman, young girl, and you're growing up in this family, you're supposed to be ladylike. You're watching movies and you're identifying with Val Kilmer, Nicolas Cage. What's that all about?

• 14:58Speaker 04

  With men. Well, I think it makes sense if you think about how much I was under this pressure to be more feminine, more like hyper femme, a lady, all of that. So I just swung full throttle the other way. It's like Val Kilmer.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  I mean, which, I don't know, was the poster child of that kind of masculinity for me at the time. And yeah, yeah. And Nicolas Cage, Jack Nicholson, those guys, I remember watching them and feeling like, wow, I, I want to be like that as a young girl, which I, you know, I don't know. It still doesn't quite make sense to me.

• 15:39Conan O'Brien?

  I think it kind of does because if the repression, and I'm not using that in a dramatic way again. I'm saying like, if there is a repressive, stay in your box sort of vibe you're getting, you need jet propulsion to get out of it. And so I can understand saying like, okay, I'm gonna identify with these guys who are kicking ass in movies.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:01Conan O'Brien?

  And, and throwing people through walls because that will propel me more out of this world. I mean, it's not that you want to be them, you just want to get out of this.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:10Conan O'Brien?

  I think.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Yes, that's it, yeah.

• 16:13Conan O'Brien?

  You go to New York. You go to college in New York?

• 16:15Speaker 04

  I go to college Northwestern, and I made a stop in the Midwest. And that was strategic on my part.

• 16:23Conan O'Brien?

  Really?

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, because I applied early to Northwestern. I remember as a 17 year old, looking at a map of the US and, and thinking like, oh, I could go from one coast to the next. I could just go from LA to New York, and that would be great. And I think I would know exactly what that would be. And then I thought, wait, but what's this middle area here? What's Sheboygan, Wisconsin? What? And I really, my mind, I was open to a whole new, to me, a huger cultural shift from the Midwest to how I grew up than like other parts of the globe.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  I couldn't believe that there was this whole section that, that I just didn't know anything about. And it really paid off for me, actually. I met my husband there. I'm like, yeah, I'm basically Midwestern.

• 17:16Conan O'Brien?

  It's funny, you're approaching your move away from home, like it's this buffet table, and you're not gonna go right to the end, you're gonna work your way down.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:25Conan O'Brien?

  You should have moved one state at a time and slowly made your way across.

• 17:29Speaker 04

  Exactly, exactly. And I'd make it there at my deathbed. I'd be like, finally, New York City.

• 17:35Conan O'Brien?

  I'm ready to have a good, oh my hip, ah, college.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  College, here we go, freshman year.

• 17:42Conan O'Brien?

  So you met your husband at Northwestern and was he in the dramatic arts as well?

• 17:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, I maybe he would like people to know, he was actually an urban studies major, sociology major, who also was in Meow, the comedy group there.

• 17:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  And we met through that, not because I was in Meow, I was in the band that played for Meow.

• 18:09Conan O'Brien?

  Really?

• 18:09Speaker 04

  And we were called Captain Teabag.

• 18:12Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so Captain Teabag.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  I gotta go. This was really nice.

• 18:16Conan O'Brien?

  Captain Teabag, is the band you're in?

• 18:18Speaker 04

  No, no follow up questions.

• 18:19Conan O'Brien?

  That plays for the comedy group Meow?

• 18:21Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 18:21Conan O'Brien?

  Which is where urban planners get together and do improvisational comedy. And all the comedy is about, well, if we could get the...

• 18:28Speaker 04

  The city grid, like why, what's wrong with this public?

• 18:30Conan O'Brien?

  A roundabout might help ease pressure.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 18:33Conan O'Brien?

  And scene.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:36Conan O'Brien?

  You have worked on so many great shows. One of the shows that you were...

• 18:40Speaker 05

  You're just gonna let Captain Teabag go.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Yes, he is. Just leave it.

• 18:43Conan O'Brien?

  Because I'm a sensitive host who got a signal that we move on from Captain Teabag. But you countermanded it.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  All right.

• 18:50Conan O'Brien?

  So Captain Teabag. What instrument did you play?

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Vocal. I, the Teabag.

• 18:59Conan O'Brien?

  You throw out, you want me to go in a certain direction, I go that way.

• 19:02Speaker 04

  And then you bring it back.

• 19:03Speaker 05

  I'm sorry.

• 19:05Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, you're gonna leave that all in.

• 19:08Conan O'Brien?

  Sorry about him. It's what he does. It's fun.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  So what jobs have I done? Was that, was that your question?

• 19:13Conan O'Brien?

  No. If you could be reincarnated as any tool in a toolbox.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. I love that question.

• 19:20Conan O'Brien?

  You're kind of an Allen wrench, I think.

• 19:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, definitely.

• 19:31Conan O'Brien?

  We all have those pieces in our closet we can count on. Sona, I imagine for you, it's that leather jacket I got you.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Are you gonna do a bit?

• 19:37Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's a really nice leather jacket I got you once.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  I had that and then I replaced it and yes, I use it all the time.

• 19:43Conan O'Brien?

  We all have that versatile jacket, the perfect t-shirt, and those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And you know what I was thinking about this morning?

• 19:52Speaker 01

  What?

• 19:53Conan O'Brien?

  Quince. They do it best. They really do. I was really thinking about this.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  What a coincidence that we're doing an ad for them.

• 19:58Conan O'Brien?

  No, a co coincidence.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 20:02Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I get the big money.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  I gotta go.

• 20:04Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to very small amount of money. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials and designs that are timeless, thoughtful, crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperature starts to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples with versatile layers. Layer up. That's the key. Now, Blay, you're, you're using some Quince.

• 20:24Speaker 05

  That's right. I'm spending a lot of time back east in Michigan. It's getting a little colder, so I got a featherless quilted jacket in Atlas Navy, and I just feel like a different guy. I feel classy.

• 20:34Conan O'Brien?

  You look like a different guy because you're well dressed.

• 20:36Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 20:37Conan O'Brien?

  No, I'm serious. He looks like a hobo half the time.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  That's true. He's right. That's true.

• 20:40Conan O'Brien?

  No, they, they really do great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK as well.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  All right.

• 20:54Conan O'Brien?

  And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please do that. Say, by the way, I heard about this on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 21:04Speaker 05

  Oh, I didn't really ask.

• 21:05Conan O'Brien?

  I just want you to know.

• 21:08Conan O'Brien?

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 21:12Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a white club. Grab flavor for everyone in your crew. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By the glow, White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw, Seltzer, or Chicago, Illinois.

• 21:43Conan O'Brien?

  With the US Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal.

• 21:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:51Conan O'Brien?

  No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

• 22:02Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 22:02Conan O'Brien?

  And I didn't get cash back, and I regret it now.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

• 22:08Conan O'Brien?

  Do you wear a wig, or is that your hair?

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of, it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

• 22:15Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:19Conan O'Brien?

  Visit usbank.com/smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association. Pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply.

• 22:36Conan O'Brien?

  You work on these amazing shows. I mean, I was thinking about it and going over like your, your past. Girls, Russian Doll, of course, The Morning Show. But you did this spot on Broad City, which I saw recently because I'd been binging Broad City.

• 22:52Speaker 04

  Oh, you have?

• 22:52Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I watched it, I watched it here and there back in the day when it was on, and I really liked it. But my daughter came home from school and summertime, and she started binging it with my wife. And so I sat in, and I just would watch whole seasons, and then go to the next season, and the next season.

• 23:11Speaker 04

  It's so good, isn't it?

• 23:12Conan O'Brien?

  It's fantastic, and it really holds up.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  It does.

• 23:15Conan O'Brien?

  It's great. They're remarkable.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  No, thanks.

• 23:17Conan O'Brien?

  And, and I, I remembered liking it at the time, but because of this new streaming era, you can really appreciate all the different little circuitous roots and notes and themes that run through a show.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:31Conan O'Brien?

  Just fantastic.

• 23:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. Are you rewatching Girls, too?

• 23:35Conan O'Brien?

  You know, it's interesting. My daughter did. I have not, but I want to go back and start it again.

• 23:41Speaker 04

  Yeah. That is also one of those shows that it holds up in a very, in an uncomfortable way.

• 23:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  Like, you almost wish we had progressed a little bit more since that time as a society, but a lot of it really holds up.

• 23:58Conan O'Brien?

  In what way?

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Oh, I think like for millennials specifically in that time. I mean, in the world, but specifically for people living in New York City. I feel like, I really feel like that was the next chapter after Sex and the City. I really do.

• 24:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  And the way, and Lena, I, I think she's incredible, and what she was doing at that time, I, I think was absolutely remarkable. And, yeah, she deserves all kinds of praise for what she did.

• 24:31Conan O'Brien?

  It was also incredibly remarkable, her book.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:34Conan O'Brien?

  Lena Dunham.

• 24:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:35Conan O'Brien?

  Wrote an autobiography.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  I listened to it.

• 24:39Conan O'Brien?

  You listened to it?

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't always do that. I don't always love an audiobook, but for this one in particular, I, I think you have to listen to it.

• 24:47Conan O'Brien?

  What I like to do is read the audiobook. It's very hard to do. Very hard to do.

• 24:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  You just say whatever's being said to you.

• 24:56Conan O'Brien?

  You put a glass of water next to the speaker, and then you just watch the water vibrations, and then you figure out what they're saying.

• 25:03Speaker 03

  You're worried about my interjections in this.

• 25:05Speaker 04

  No, yeah.

• 25:06Conan O'Brien?

  I'm just telling you, either got it, or you don't, buddy boy.

• 25:10Conan O'Brien?

  You're gonna see, that's gonna get a lot of likes.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Podcasts don't get likes.

• 25:15Conan O'Brien?

  Sure, they do.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:16Conan O'Brien?

  Right, like, this guy knows podcasts. But, yeah, she's a, she's a remarkable person and so honest.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:24Conan O'Brien?

  So honest about everything, and that, and, and a great writer.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  An incredible writer. And I realized I was having like a suspended panic attack while listening to her audiobook, driving in LA. Because I, I were in the car so much, I kind of thought like, oh, this is the perfect listen. It is, and it's also not, because it is so, she writes with such brutal honesty. And it is so, it's so painful and, and enraging, frankly. I'm a, I'm a little enraged on her behalf in terms of the things she experienced, but I, yeah, highly recommend.

• 26:02Conan O'Brien?

  If you want to be enraged while driving, this is the book for you. No, it's a, it's a, it's a beautiful book. It's an amazing document.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:10Conan O'Brien?

  You have worked with so many incredible women. Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Lena, of course, Amy Schumer, Natasha Lyonne. And so, you know, my journey, obviously very different from your journey, but some things are the same, which is I, in my family, I never in a million years thought that this was any kind of a job. So when I was in high, you know, grade school and high school, I was a nervous grind. And I was funny with my friends, but I had no idea. I mean, my, I never saw anybody from show business in Boston, Massachusetts in the 1970s. And it wasn't part of my culture in any way. And then it was just through a series of accidents that I sort of got closer and closer.

• 26:54Conan O'Brien?

  But when I finally did get into this world, and you realize a big part of it is working with people whose mind works kind of like your mind, and in different ways. And that there's a whole world of people.

• 27:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:08Conan O'Brien?

  That were also getting beat up on the playground, but now we're all together, and someone's paying for lunch. It's, it's, you know, and it's a job. That's crazy.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  My version of that is, I actually grew up really knowing a lot about the industry, not because of my, my family, but because in LA, I went to Harvard Westlake. Which is.

• 27:27Conan O'Brien?

  A very good school.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  A private school here in Los Angeles, filled with industry families. So I had a lot of exposure to, you know, a lot of different, very successful people early on, but the idea of what that was, was presented in a way that was almost like, don't sell out. Like, don't, don't actually be like Spielberg, which is so funny to think about.

• 27:50Conan O'Brien?

  God forbid anyone was like Spielberg.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, right, we're like, I don't know. And I remember an English teacher pulling me aside and saying, you know, don't, I, I hear you want to be an actor. I hear you want to go to Northwestern. Don't, come on, don't do that.

• 28:05Conan O'Brien?

  What? But in what way was she saying it?

• 28:07Speaker 04

  I think there was this real emphasis on like, on like, being an intellectual and being a real artist, whatever that meant to people. But that did, I have to say, inform a little bit of my decisions in terms of like what I was, where I wanted to go to school, and what kind of, moving to New York after college. Like, I wanted to be a stage actor, and I really wanted all of that. But to your point about finding your people, I grew up at that time, like, dealing with a little bit of my identity and being Asian American, like, oh, basically at lunchtime, like, do I hang with the Asian kids? Where do I sit? And it wasn't until I found the theater kids, I was just like, oh, I'm just that race.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  I understand now. It's all fine.

• 28:54Conan O'Brien?

  These are my people.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 28:55Conan O'Brien?

  And it doesn't matter where you come from.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:58Conan O'Brien?

  But if you're a theater nerd, I'm with you.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  That's what it is, yeah.

• 29:01Conan O'Brien?

  And, yeah, I, it's so funny. I remember in another lifetime, I think I was working on Saturday Night Live as a writer, and someone noticed, they'd put, they'd throw me in sketches sometimes, and someone said, you should take a serious acting class. And I thought, well, okay, we have weekends off. And so I took a class with like, you know, I think it was at Uta Hagen. And I got into this class, and I thought, well, I'm gonna really learn. And I remember they went around the room, and every single person said, well, I would never do a commercial, and I will, I don't want to be in a movie. I wouldn't have anything to do with it. I just want to do Chekhov, and I want to do it in a very small theater. And I was sitting there, and I thought, bullshit. You're just all lying.

• 29:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:47Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, it's fine to have those aspirations, but I just, you know. And then subsequently, I've seen them all, you know, getting a burrito and. This tastes delicious. It's scrum diddly doo.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:01Conan O'Brien?

  I saw, I don't know, there's no ramp into this question.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  I can't wait.

• 30:05Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. You committed a murder.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 30:09Conan O'Brien?

  1999, Portland, Oregon.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Off the record, off the record.

• 30:14Conan O'Brien?

  Off the record, you committed a murder. No, I heard that you were, you would sometimes get an impulsive tattoo. And I am, that's one thing I have, that's a world I've never sort of.

• 30:26Speaker 04

  Well, your skin looks delicate, I have to say.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  I wouldn't, I wouldn't mess with it.

• 30:32Conan O'Brien?

  Greta.

• 30:33Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 30:34Conan O'Brien?

  What do you mean by that? And please be honest.

• 30:36Speaker 04

  I just, I, I mean, it, it feels, it feels vulnerable.

• 30:43Conan O'Brien?

  You're saying a tattoo.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  You should actually feel it.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, no, I don't need to. I can, I can, I can, I can tell from where I'm sitting.

• 30:51Conan O'Brien?

  You reacted like a mummy walked into the room. So you're saying if I got a small tattoo of like a yin yang symbol, it might kill me?

• 30:58Speaker 04

  Possibly.

• 30:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, the way it transfuses into your blood. It's just like, I don't know.

• 31:05Conan O'Brien?

  I do. You know what? Immediately when you said that, everyone here nodded their head. They did not.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 31:09Conan O'Brien?

  You're just speaking a truth.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Do you have like piercings or anything else?

• 31:13Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I have a ton of piercings.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Okay, great.

• 31:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. What? I just, I'm really into it. I think it's fantastic. I cannot go through a metal detector at the airport. And then when I show them why, they're horrified.

• 31:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 31:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  Show them.

• 31:26Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I do. I'm really into that.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:28Conan O'Brien?

  No, I have no piercings. I have nothing.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  No tattoos.

• 31:31Conan O'Brien?

  I think because I grew up with bright orange hair and very pronounced freckles that faded over time. Not interested in, in any other marks

• 31:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:41Conan O'Brien?

  on my body.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:42Conan O'Brien?

  But what would be an impulsive tattoo for you? Something that's just like, oh my God, I can't believe I did it, but I just went for it.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Ah, okay.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Fine.

• 31:51Conan O'Brien?

  You don't have to do this.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  No, I'll give you one. I, I was so mad about a certain election one year that I tattooed the female symbol on my finger. Which was really stupid because it's like, it looks like I have forgotten what I am.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  It's like memento where you have to remind yourself?

• 32:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:13Speaker 04

  I, I've been getting it removed.

• 32:15Conan O'Brien?

  Right and left on their sneakers. Yeah.

• 32:16Speaker 04

  Exactly. Like it looks deranged. Um, but at the time, I mean, I put it on this finger because I felt, I mean, I don't know. I, I just felt like it was this moment, you know?

• 32:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 04

  Heard of mansplaining. Like I felt like that was a big like, shh, no, no, no. So I put a female symbol on my finger. So now I can do that all the time with this reminder.

• 32:39Conan O'Brien?

  I realized recently I don't have enough testosterone to mansplain.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  You don't.

• 32:45Conan O'Brien?

  It's just, when I try to mansplain, it's just, it doesn't come across that way.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  It's just splaining.

• 32:49Conan O'Brien?

  It's just splaining.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:51Conan O'Brien?

  And women are like, it's okay.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  Yeah. They're like, from you? It's fine.

• 32:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, from you. Mansplaining from you just feels like I'm chatting with one of the ladies.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  The least intimidating guy.

• 33:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. That girl was mansplaining. Were you mad? Not really.

• 33:05Conan O'Brien?

  He was on a pink phone and.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Can you, can you manspread as well? You can't.

• 33:09Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, let's not get into it.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Okay. Let's see those piercings.

• 33:14Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, let's just settle down.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  I apologize.

• 33:18Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so this I know comes up a lot in your interviews, but I, I need to tell you that when you were booked on the, the podcast and you've had so much different success. But some of the people on our show are, that work here are sort of religious zealots about past lives in a really sweet way. And I know that you must get that all the time.

• 33:42Speaker 04

  Um, I do get that all the time.

• 33:44Conan O'Brien?

  Which is nice. It deserves it. It's such a great movie.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  Thanks. Um, you know, I do get that all the time and I do really appreciate it. Not just be, listen, it's so nice to be in a movie that people love and you know, is successful. That's, that's so great. But beyond that, I still have so many people stop me and not in like an aggressive or intrusive way. And just feel the need to just turn and say very simply, I love that movie so much. Thank you so much. And, and to me, I think there, there are so many different ways we can complain about our industry and this job and what, but I think that's like an instant reminder that like,

• 34:27Speaker 04

  I love film and I love what we do and, and how great to be able to connect with all kinds of people.

• 34:34Conan O'Brien?

  Also, uh, one of the things I've noticed is you're never, it's nice to be busy. We're really lucky to get to do this. Running around doing all these different things. You never quite know what's going to resonate.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:44Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm sure you felt, okay, this project is special, but you're doing a bunch of things. You do that and then it endures. And that's one of those films that's going to made a big impact. Uh, it is much discussed. It is much praised, but I feel like in five, 10, 15 years, it's just going to keep going.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:05Conan O'Brien?

  And then, and, and other things that maybe got some noise will fade a little bit, but that's one of those movies that touches on something very elemental.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. I think so. Um, and I like that the reason is something that feels so kind of elemental to just being a person. Like one of my favorite experiences was a young woman coming up to me and saying, thank you so much for past lives. Um, she said like, I'm 17 years old. I've never been in love, but because of your movie, I'm so excited to be in love.

• 35:37Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, man.

• 35:38Speaker 04

  And I was like, Jesus. And I was like, you shithead. Leave me alone. How dare you come up to me? I'm with my family right now. Turn around and get out of here. No, but it really, it's just, I mean, how could your jaw not hit the ground when you hear something like that from someone? And I just like, I am so appreciative and, and genuinely do hope that I get to experience that for a long, long time.

• 36:05Conan O'Brien?

  And obviously your story relating to that film, because you were up for a part, didn't get it.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  Oh my God.

• 36:11Conan O'Brien?

  And you were crushed because you thought, well, this would have been a really good part. You moved on with your life. And then the original casting fell through. Is that right?

• 36:18Speaker 04

  I think enough time has passed now that I can tell this story.

• 36:22Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  The murders that I've committed.

• 36:25Conan O'Brien?

  Portland, Oregon, 1998.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  We'll start with that one. No, it really was such a messy ride. And this, you know, it happens a lot with casting and with you find out like, oh, I was not only the second choice, I was like the 15th choice or whatever it is.

• 36:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  But in this case, I really was told by the universe several times that this was not going to be my job. And at a certain point, it just became so absurd and insulting. Because the first time I auditioned, I was convinced to do it. I didn't really think I could speak Korean well enough to do it. And that wasn't something that I was looking for, but I was convinced, did the tape and then didn't get it. And it was like to my agents, like, come on, I'd see like, what'd you make me do? And they're like, no, no, you know? They thought that you are just too old.

• 37:13Conan O'Brien?

  Nice. Yeah. Don't worry. It wasn't your Korean. You're too old.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  Jesus. But, but basically that was the case because they had cast the other role. This really excellent Korean actor who was much younger than me. And it went to someone else and they were going to shoot it, but then it fell apart. And it came back almost exactly a year later, same thing. And I think I had sort of started talking to them and at the time, and this is just wild, but I got a call from Scott Rudin's office and he was attached at the time. And it was a message that was a long voice now that was something, something like, um, where are you? Come, you have a meeting at Cafe Clooney. Um, you know, he's waiting, something, something.

• 38:02Speaker 04

  And I thought I got past lives because I thought, oh my God, like this is amazing. Like he wants to meet me at Cafe Clooney to tell me that I got this job. I listened to the message again and again, and I played it. I sent it to my agents and they played it. And we realized collectively that the message was actually for Greta Gerwig. For something completely, who knows what that was for? I don't know. I've told her now, um, since and she, she was like, oh my gosh, I have no idea. But that was such a publicly humiliating experience because the whole age, you know, all the agents were like, oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, that's, that's Rudin. And then collectively realizing that was the wrong Greta.

• 38:46Speaker 04

  And so I really thought like, please leave me alone with this job. It's not mine. I get it. I'm too old and I'm too American or whatever.

• 38:56Conan O'Brien?

  And you're no Greta Gerwig.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  I'm not Greta Gerwig.

• 38:58Conan O'Brien?

  You're the wrong Greta.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:01Conan O'Brien?

  Wow. And you know, it is when you have experiences like that, you think, I didn't ask for any of this.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 39:06Conan O'Brien?

  Leave me out of it.

• 39:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:07Conan O'Brien?

  Stop coming to me, getting my hopes up a little bit and then slapping me around.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Exactly. Stop it.

• 39:12Conan O'Brien?

  So then it comes back around again and all works out.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Well, yeah. And then, uh, it was like, can you zoom with Celine tomorrow? And it was during the pandemic. Um, and I had no time to, you know, cram and try and try to pretend like I'm like a different actor.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  No, it's go time, you know?

• 39:35Speaker 04

  And we read together on Zoom and she gave me the job on the spot and it was just, I know, I hate stories like that though.

• 39:42Conan O'Brien?

  Why?

• 39:42Speaker 04

  You know, it's just, it just feels too, I don't like when it feels so cosmic or like so.

• 39:48Conan O'Brien?

  Well.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  You know?

• 39:49Conan O'Brien?

  Mostly it doesn't feel that way. There's so many things in life that don't happen that when it does happen, you kind of have to honor it.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:58Conan O'Brien?

  Cause I've, I mean, I've had one major cosmic moment like that where.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  What was yours?

• 40:03Conan O'Brien?

  How I got into this whole on air thing, which is how I, it's too long a story to go into, but I had no business getting this late night show when I was 29 years old. I just had no business. It shouldn't have happened. I was in no position to get it. I wasn't ready, but, uh, things kept conspiring.

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. How many people did you kill to get that?

• 40:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my God. Well, a lot of them lived.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 40:27Conan O'Brien?

  Kim Olfahl and they all somehow survived.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Greta Gerwig.

• 40:30Conan O'Brien?

  Greta Gerwig. She was the big one that had to go.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:33Conan O'Brien?

  Although why they called me when they were trying to get Greta Gerwig, I don't understand.

• 40:39Conan O'Brien?

  I am a scientific person. I can usually look at someone's magical story and tell them why. Well, that's not really magical because this is, but every now and then I hear something and I go, yeah, there's no explanation for that. And my situation, it is truly, you know, uh, when I got the job, I knew Tom Hanks just as a writer from Saturday Night Live. I, he knew me because he would come on the show and I would write things for him. And he looked at me and he pointed at me and he said, this doesn't happen, what's happening to you. It doesn't happen. I don't think it's ever happened. And he was saying it as like in a calm, historic way.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:13Conan O'Brien?

  It was very bizarre. And so when I try to explain that to younger people who've grown up with me yakking in the background.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:21Conan O'Brien?

  The idea of me doing a show just seems like, well, of course.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  Well, they're like, you've been around forever.

• 41:26Conan O'Brien?

  Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  About old.

• 41:29Conan O'Brien?

  Talk about old. Take you're old and multiply it by fifteen and you get me. So, I mean, I honor that.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 41:37Conan O'Brien?

  I don't get it, something.

• 41:39Speaker 04

  I don't get it either, but is that stressful for you now? I mean, that old a while ago, but.

• 41:44Conan O'Brien?

  Not now, but then it was, oh my god.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  To feel like that lucky in a way.

• 41:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and also when you have that kind of situation. There was some Esquire piece about me and no one knew who I was yet and they had one photograph of me. Cause there was no internet, there was no, I didn't have headshots. And Esquire did a thing about jealousy when someone you know has been elevated. And the headline of the piece was my photograph with like a bullseye on it.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  Oh, boy.

• 42:12Conan O'Brien?

  And I remember looking at this before I even went on the air, looking at it and going, okay, this is gonna be fun.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:17Conan O'Brien?

  So, but um, I guess what I'm saying is that I do think sometimes. And this is not scientific and this is maybe just Irish magical thinking, but sometimes there is a something at work. That cannot be explained.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:31Conan O'Brien?

  And I think in your case with this project, it just kept coming back to.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I think for me, it's still really hard to explain and to wrap my mind around what's happened for me. Um, I think there, I don't, in our business, no one is entitled to anything. Um, I, I feel like I came off of a lot of years when I was first starting out, feeling really, really kind of put down by, you know, the lack of opportunities for someone like me. Like, forget being a girl, like all the other things. And I just felt like I couldn't believe I was still in it or trying. And there was a time, it, I really, and I've said this before, I, I felt like I had already gone to my own funeral.

• 43:19Speaker 04

  And it wasn't, it wasn't like so desperately sad, it just felt so like fact. And I had made peace with it and I was living a great life. I mean, I had my kids and now I have this husband that I met in college and a really full, dynamic plate, a full plate. And yeah, made peace with like, I'm gonna be a supporting actor, like, I think I will have enough opportunity coming in to just like support my family enough. Um, and this is gonna be okay, I think. But I know now, looking back, how, well, how dead I was. And like, there is something that is, yeah, a little sad about that.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  Um, because you think, wow, that is such a human thing, like you, your dreams very often die and have to die. And we see it all the time. And then sometimes new ones happen that are so much more than you ever could have imagined. There's just no possible way to wrap your mind around it. And that's sort of how I feel right now. Like, there's no, I, it's hard for me to categorize or sort of like place myself within the world of like, oh, I'm like, I'm like Val Kilmer, or I'm like this person.

• 44:39Speaker 04

  Yes, guys, every day I wake up, I look in the mirror and I'm like, how much am I like Val Kilmer? But it's just, it can feel disorienting is what I'm saying. Like, and, and like what, that sense of purpose and what's gonna keep me going. Because I have the, all the tethers and all the things that I used to have to kind of measure myself and how much I was failing. All of it is just cut and it's all new and it feels like there's no blueprint. And I have no idea, so.

• 45:06Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I was just, when I was talking to you just before you came in here. And you're saying, well, I'm here today, but I gotta jump on a plane because I'm going to London for a project. And the speed of things has picked up.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:17Conan O'Brien?

  All because you are extremely talented, you work really hard, you know your craft. And people now, you're a known commodity. And the flip side of that is you're gonna be jumping on a lot of planes.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:30Conan O'Brien?

  And a part of a lot of things, and so that's great. But you do have the ballast, which I think is the most important thing to have in this business of, I've got my family. I, I know what's important to me. And I had all those years of thinking this probably wouldn't happen. That really helps when things pick up.

• 45:47Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 45:47Conan O'Brien?

  The way they are now.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  That like, everything is, is cake, everything is dessert, it's extra. Like that, it, it really does feel like that. I mean, of course, I have my days and there are certain jobs that are more challenging than others, there are certain situations, of course.

• 46:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  Um, but I feel right now, I mean, talk, check on me maybe in a month, in a week.

• 46:10Conan O'Brien?

  I'm just gonna call, I'm gonna cold call you at three in the morning.

• 46:12Speaker 04

  Hey, are you okay?

• 46:12Conan O'Brien?

  Conan, what, how you doing?

• 46:14Speaker 04

  So, remember when you said it was cake? Yeah.

• 46:17Conan O'Brien?

  No!

• 46:18Speaker 04

  How do you feel now?

• 46:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Um, I wanna talk about this movie, The Last House.

• 46:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:24Conan O'Brien?

  Which, and I'll tell you a little quick story. I always like to see the movie of anyone who's coming on.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:29Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and so I was like, okay, well, I know your work really well, I'm in a movie with you, we've chatted. Okay, we have a lot to talk about, but I wanna see this movie. And then, uh, my assistant said, uh, oh, it's, we got it, we're gonna watch it this morning. So I came in early and, uh, it, it came through Netflix.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:48Conan O'Brien?

  And it starts to play and there's no, uh, you can't hear anybody. You can't hear anyone and then, and every, and every, every now and then you could hear a little word and you'd say something like, would you like a sandwich? But then you don't hear anything. You know, like, would you like a sandwich?

• 47:04Speaker 04

  I do say that a lot in a movie.

• 47:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Uh, and then we tried for a while putting subtitles on, and I think they're not quite done mixing it yet, possibly, or something.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  That is so hilarious.

• 47:15Conan O'Brien?

  This movie that, uh, and we were all like banging, like, like chimpanzees were banging the side of the flat screen.

• 47:21Speaker 04

  Like old school stuff, like thunderclap.

• 47:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, and, um, there weren't, there were things that weren't there yet. And it was disconcerting because someone would walk, but there's no footsteps.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 47:31Conan O'Brien?

  So something, maybe some track didn't come through and back in the day, this will date me, but you would get like a cassette or then you'd get a DVD or then, but now it's.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  Oh, so Netflix is doing that now?

• 47:41Conan O'Brien?

  They are?

• 47:42Speaker 04

  You didn't get the cassette?

• 47:43Conan O'Brien?

  No! Damn it! It's a big three quarter inch and they send you the machine that was built in nineteen eighty-one. It's from the movie Broadcast News.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  Great movie, great movie.

• 47:55Conan O'Brien?

  I remember my first job in nineteen eighty-five, not necessarily the news. My writing partner and I showed up and they gave us these things that look like giant mortar bricks.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 48:05Conan O'Brien?

  And you would put them in a machine, it would go like chuk, chuk, boom, zzzzz. And then it would play whatever it is you were trying to look up. Well, now it's all, here's a special code, it's gonna be sent to you, Sona, right?

• 48:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:16Conan O'Brien?

  You were at a restaurant not picking up your phone, having a good old time and putting it on the company.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  I missed one phone call. And I did put it on the company, yeah.

• 48:22Conan O'Brien?

  Did you have a little Liquid Courage at lunch?

• 48:24Speaker 01

  No!

• 48:25Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, whatever. Anyway.

• 48:27Speaker 04

  Wait, so you wa-

• 48:28Conan O'Brien?

  So we were texting Sona saying, what's the code, what's the code? And she's like, another round!

• 48:33Speaker 04

  Right.

• 48:33Conan O'Brien?

  And put it on Team Coco!

• 48:37Speaker 01

  I missed one phone call.

• 48:38Conan O'Brien?

  At her favorite restaurant, Chez Expensive, and, uh,

• 48:43Conan O'Brien?

  and so then, we finally get the code and we all gather on the TV and.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  Took three minutes.

• 48:48Conan O'Brien?

  It took you a while, anyway.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  Took me three minutes.

• 48:51Conan O'Brien?

  Please, anyway, you're a little hungover, but you have no sense of time. Um, the waiter had to wake you up at the table. She was wearing a giant pinata. I don't know how you wear a pinata. My point is, we watched it, it's a complete.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  What was the pinata?

• 49:07Speaker 04

  There's no sound.

• 49:08Conan O'Brien?

  There's no sound, there's no sound, oh, here's a pen for you. There's no, there's no sound, we're trying to watch it. But, so then we went and we watched the trailer and the trailer has sound.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:19Conan O'Brien?

  And, and, and we watched the trailer and I'm like, I wanna see this, this looks really good. Cause the idea is very cool.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  Like, did you think it was intentional? Did you honestly for a moment think like, oh?

• 49:28Conan O'Brien?

  For a second.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  It's like the quiet place.

• 49:30Conan O'Brien?

  It starts with, uh, your husband like on a dock fishing and there's no sound. And I thought, this is a really bold choice. This is cool, cause you hear nothing, you don't even hear ambient sound. And you see lightning, but you don't hear it and I thought, well, this is, I don't know who this director is, but they got guts. This is cool.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  Louis, I'm sorry, I'm, you are, he's having a stress attack right now.

• 49:51Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, I, what, the point is, I'm not saying anything bad about the film, I'm just saying.

• 49:56Speaker 04

  This film that has sound.

• 49:58Conan O'Brien?

  And we stopped it.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  Well, we don't know that.

• 49:59Conan O'Brien?

  So we had to stop it, yeah, it says you. We stopped it like three minutes in, so I still haven't seen the movie, but we then watched the trailer and I'm like, I think it's a really cool idea.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:08Conan O'Brien?

  Family, uh, goes into their house, shuts it normal, I think they live in Seattle where my wife is from, I've been there many times.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, you did, you, you picked up on that without sound.

• 50:17Conan O'Brien?

  I think the shot of the Space Needle. And most of Pearl Jam walking around. Gave it away.

• 50:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:25Conan O'Brien?

  And people throwing fish to each other.

• 50:26Speaker 04

  Right, right, right. All that stuff.

• 50:29Conan O'Brien?

  But then they can't get out of the house. And what's interesting to me is that initially doesn't seem that scary, cause what's safer than being in your house?

• 50:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 50:36Conan O'Brien?

  And the cool thing to me about the idea is that at a certain point, not being able to leave your house becomes terrifying.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:42Conan O'Brien?

  Just kind of what we went through in COVID.

• 50:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, a little bit. I mean, I loved the idea of just a regular day and like, you know, this family and the sort of chaos of the morning that a lot of parents know and then getting, find, the miracle of like, finally, we will leave the house and going to the door and it won't open.

• 51:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  And then a lot of time passing.

• 51:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  And what is gonna happen? I, I just, I really love that and I love, I just love Amblin-y kind of like those movies, that kind of thriller, sci-fi, survivalist stories and, um, and I thought, yeah, let's, uh, you know, I liked Louis' uh, ambition for it. We, he, we shot a lot of it on thirty-five millimeter, which I at first was like, that's crazy.

• 51:29Conan O'Brien?

  Right, right.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  Why? You sure? That's a lot of film.

• 51:33Conan O'Brien?

  Well, actually, that's just an app on any iPhone. Thirty-five millimeter.

• 51:39Conan O'Brien?

  That's so cool though, and so I am, I'll tell you this, I watched the trailer and I was like, I wanna see this movie when Netflix lets me listen to it.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, just wait for that cassette.

• 51:50Conan O'Brien?

  It's just some technical thing, no one should be reprimanded for this in any way, these things happen.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:55Conan O'Brien?

  Don't you think?

• 51:56Speaker 01

  You reprimanded me earlier, but yeah, I.

• 51:59Conan O'Brien?

  I just think drinking at lunch and putting on the company card is a bad idea.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  I had fun.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Also, have you checked your hearing? Maybe it's just you.

• 52:06Speaker 04

  No, that's actually horrifying.

• 52:09Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe that's the true horror movie.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:11Conan O'Brien?

  And by the way, everyone around me loved it. And I'm like, too bad there's no sound, and I saw everyone get really sad.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Tears falling, they're like, don't be telling me.

• 52:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. And why does it make you urinate in your pants? And everyone's like, oh, Conan. Well, that's part of what the movie does, right?

• 52:29Speaker 04

  That's part of it.

• 52:32Conan O'Brien?

  Greta, how much are you regretting coming in here?

• 52:35Speaker 04

  I mean, I...

• 52:38Speaker 04

  No, this is great. So I'm sure you have a ton of follow-up questions about the movie since you've heard all of it and you've watched all of it.

• 52:47Conan O'Brien?

  I did.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  So we should like really get into it.

• 52:50Conan O'Brien?

  Really get into it.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:51Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you took a very... made a very strange choice for the way that you spoke in the film, I'm told. I haven't seen it, but I heard you just sort of like, "Hey, I can't get out of this." "What's going on?"

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, we worked with real Marionette Papeters.

• 53:09Speaker 04

  I'm getting into so much trouble. The talking points are like, "Do not bring up Marionette Papeters." "Stop doing that, Greta." Yeah, yeah.

• 53:20Conan O'Brien?

  I love being told what not to do because then that's all I can think about. And we have it here with ad reads. They'll say, "Do not say that this car brand will explode." Do not, and it's things I would never bring up, but then that's all I can think about. And then I inevitably say it will make... it will explode on you, and then I get in trouble.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:39Conan O'Brien?

  But I know you're that way too. You have the same problem.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm. That's why I'm gonna be quiet for at least five seconds while I clear my mind of certain...

• 53:46Conan O'Brien?

  While you morph into Val Kilmer.

• 53:50Conan O'Brien?

  I am... This has been an absolute delight. Seriously. You're just a lovely person and an amazing talent and...

• 53:58Speaker 04

  Thanks.

• 53:59Conan O'Brien?

  I know you're crazy busy and we've been trying for a while to say like, getting you in here was quite a task.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  No.

• 54:07Conan O'Brien?

  Which was... that's a compliment.

• 54:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:08Conan O'Brien?

  Because when people tell you, "I can do it whenever."

• 54:13Conan O'Brien?

  "I'm in my house waiting to do that podcast." It's never a good sign. And I'm talking about you, Al Pacino.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  Oh, wait, you know what? I do wanna plug one more movie that's coming out on the same day.

• 54:24Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 54:25Speaker 04

  It's called Late Fame and it's with Willem Dafoe and I. And it's a movie that takes place in New York City, directed by Kent Jones. And it's a real special precious gem of a film that's coming out on the same day.

• 54:42Conan O'Brien?

  How can we see that?

• 54:43Speaker 04

  In theaters.

• 54:45Conan O'Brien?

  Is it also Netflix?

• 54:46Speaker 04

  Uh, no.

• 54:47Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, good, it'll have sound.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  It'll have sound. No, but Willem is so incredible in it and I just... Sammy Bertsch wrote her script. She did May December. And it's the Pats Lives team. It's Christine Mashon and Pam Koffler. It's amazing.

• 55:06Conan O'Brien?

  Willem Dafoe can play the most diametrically opposed characters in film.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  Yes, he can.

• 55:11Conan O'Brien?

  And, you know, I'm thinking about him in Grand Budapest Hotel where he's this hilariously comic assassin. But then he can, you know... I mean, think about the different roles he's played where it bears no relationship to the role he just did, you know? He's a shapeshifter and a lovely guy. When I've talked to him, he's just really lovely.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Absolutely lovely, lovely. And the things he can do with his face. I just don't understand his musculature in his face. And yet, it's the performances for me, like Florida Project and this movie, the ones where he takes it all away and it's just this man. I mean, he's not playing himself, but where so much of the other really joyful things we get to see him do is stripped away. I find that version of him so compelling and that's this movie. So enjoy, everyone. And it has sound.

• 56:05Conan O'Brien?

  And the name of that film again is?

• 56:06Speaker 04

  Late Fame.

• 56:08Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:09Conan O'Brien?

  Get the word out on that film, too.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. Should I go? Should I go now?

• 56:15Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I want you out of here so badly. You were terrible today. You're just babbling. I do hope you can come back sometime because I feel like we just scratched the surface. But thank you so much for stopping by.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me.

• 56:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and just, things have sped up a lot for you and that's a great thing. And I don't even think I have to say this to you, but like I just wish you take care of yourself.

• 56:41Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh.

• 56:42Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean? Like, protect yourself, protect you and your family time and all that because it's Greta mania out there.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  Oh, gosh.

• 56:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And I know what it's like, trust me. Then I just start crying blood.

• 56:56Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 57:05Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I wanna try something different.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  What?

• 57:07Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 57:11Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 57:13Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 57:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 57:19Speaker 04

  Oh, that's good.

• 57:20Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 57:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You wanna hear what they are?

• 57:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:25Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 57:27Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 57:34Speaker 04

  Oh, that's weird.

• 57:34Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about like making apple cider. And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the travel show that I do.

• 57:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:46Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 57:57Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 57:59Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 58:04Speaker 04

  My god.

• 58:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 58:08Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 58:09Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 58:33Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 58:36Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:45Conan O'Brien?

  You know?

• 58:45Speaker 04

  You're right.

• 58:46Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 58:50Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 58:50Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

• 58:53Speaker 04

  No, but maybe...

• 58:53Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 58:56Speaker 04

  I know, yeah, I remember that. That was not good.

• 58:59Conan O'Brien?

  Well, anyway, now you got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters you can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit RobertHalf.com/salaryguide.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  The Hulu original series, Phony, is coming to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus, October 20th. My name is Sonny Cook. Ever since the accident, my mom looks different. You think your mom has been swapped out with a different woman? I know something, okay? Something's wrong. I don't know what's going on with you, but I know that I'm your mother. If that's not your mom, why do you think she is? I don't know, but I need to find her. Watch the Hulu original series, Phony, on October 20th. Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 59:53Conan O'Brien?

  I just found out some very exciting news. Check this out, David.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  What?

• 59:57Conan O'Brien?

  Sona told me yesterday that her husband, Taktikazian...

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Brian.

• 1:00:03Conan O'Brien?

  What's that?

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  Taktikazian.

• 1:00:05Conan O'Brien?

  Does it matter?

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's his last name, it's not Takazian.

• 1:00:09Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  Armenian names don't work like that. They're not just like...

• 1:00:11Conan O'Brien?

  I thought that was just whatever. As long as it ended I A N, it was okay.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Yes, you know what? Some of them do actually work that way. They take the name and then they put I A N at the end.

• 1:00:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, I always called him Taktikazian, but that's not it. It's Baroyan.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:00:22Conan O'Brien?

  But anyway, Taktikazian, your husband, father of your beautiful children, lovely guy, funny, talented.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  The best.

• 1:00:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yesterday, he was... he hit a huge milestone. Can you tell us what that is?

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  He tested for his black belt, which is very... in a very intense thing. And he got his black belt.

• 1:00:43Conan O'Brien?

  Hey.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  After seven years...

• 1:00:45Conan O'Brien?

  This is incredible.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  With this specific dojo, he got his black belt.

• 1:00:48Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? I would... first of all, I just love that I got you to say dojo. Because it's one of my favorite words. But this is amazing. How many belts are there?

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Well, for his, because his is very traditional, there's only three belts. There's white, brown, and black, but there's degrees to each one.

• 1:01:04Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  So there, you know, there's like, you get like, I don't know, three degrees of white and then you qualify for brown, then there's three, I think, degrees for brown belt and then you qualify for black. And they only test for black belts once a year. He was supposed to test last year, but he got food poisoning. Sorry, it's not funny. It's not funny. I think he had nerves, I really do. But he got sick and couldn't do it, so he had to wait a full year before he could test again.

• 1:01:29Conan O'Brien?

  That's incredible. He was so close to getting this, maybe the coolest award anyone can have.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:34Conan O'Brien?

  And he got a little dummy trouble.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:01:38Conan O'Brien?

  I've got some dummy trouble.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  No. Yeah, but he tested...

• 1:01:41Conan O'Brien?

  Did he throw up all over the dojo?

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  No, cake.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  He just wanted to say dojo.

• 1:01:46Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe I did.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, he tested and he did it and I'm very proud of him. It's something he's been working for and it's really cool.

• 1:01:55Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, it must have been so cool for him to have passed that test.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Conan O'Brien?

  He must have been just feeling so good about himself, you know?

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Yes, I think he was.

• 1:02:03Conan O'Brien?

  He must have felt like, "I'm really in such a great... everything's going my way." He must have had mojo in the dojo. I was waiting.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  I can't. I can't. I will say-

• 1:02:15Conan O'Brien?

  You think he had mojo in the dojo?

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna say he got mojo in the dojo.

• 1:02:18Conan O'Brien?

  He just did. Thank you.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:02:20Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so anyway, Sona, Sona.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:22Conan O'Brien?

  This is a big deal.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  It is.

• 1:02:24Conan O'Brien?

  And all my life, I've been hearing that cliched phrase, "You better watch out. I'm a black belt in karate." Now he gets to say that.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Conan O'Brien?

  Does he say karate or karate?

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  He says karate. Like, he says it properly. And I think they make fun of people who are like, "Karate." Like, they make fun of people like that.

• 1:02:40Conan O'Brien?

  Now, what was the- do you know what the test was?

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  They have, like, katas, which are, you know, you have to, uh, you know-

• 1:02:47Conan O'Brien?

  Did he have to fight a bunch of other guys?

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Memorized movements. Like, spar- I don't think he sparred, but it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's a pretty intense-

• 1:02:55Conan O'Brien?

  In my mind, it's like one of those classic, you know, Bruce Lee movies where he has to work his way up a tower. You know, each room. Do you know what I mean? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is in one. You know, it's different. There's 700 ninjas in another, and he just has to keep working his way through. I so wish that that was the case, but no, he just went through some various choreography.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, like, told him stuff, and he had to do it, and it's all about how smooth he is and how sharp he is and fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff.

• 1:03:23Conan O'Brien?

  What about breaking stuff?

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  I don't know. I mean, he didn't really- Tac's not like, you have to, like, fish information out of him, and so I, I just-

• 1:03:31Conan O'Brien?

  He doesn't really, he's not open about his last name, you know, so-

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  It's Brian. His last name is Brian, so yeah.

• 1:03:37Conan O'Brien?

  Takesian.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Well, I'm glad Takesian is Brian.

• 1:03:39Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  But he, um, no, he had to do a test, and it's in front of a lot of other black belts, and in front of everybody who's at this special training thing, which is a lot of people from all over the country, so it's, it's a pretty intense thing, and there were six people who were testing.

• 1:03:52Conan O'Brien?

  I think it would be better, first of all, it just doesn't, this doesn't make for a good story. I would have added some things.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, at one point, they release six apes, and he has to sub- he has to subdue them all. Wouldn't that be great?

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:04:05Conan O'Brien?

  They tie, yeah, they tie bananas, uh, they tie bananas to his body, and then six apes- Six ravenous apes are released, and he has to fight them all off.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  I don't like that test.

• 1:04:17Conan O'Brien?

  Now, was karate chopping part of the-

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  I knew, I said it before we recorded, I said, "Don't say anything about chopping."

• 1:04:24Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  And I'm surprised you went this long without saying chopping.

• 1:04:28Conan O'Brien?

  I went much longer than I thought I would. I've always loved the idea of someone, let's say, like Tac, who's a black belt, um, before they attack someone or defend themselves, say, "I chop you, I chop you," and then they give them a karate chop. Do you think he ever would, if he was in a bad situation, had to karate chop his way out of it? Would he start yelling at his assailants, "I chop you, I chop you," and then chopping them?

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  He's gonna say, "I chop you." Although, I might say, "My husband's a black belt, he'll chop you."

• 1:04:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  I might say that. Yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 06

  Has he taught you any moves?

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  No, he hasn't. He hasn't. I, actually, no, he has. He's like, he's taught me some self-defense moves, just so I know them, but also, I'm mouthy, and so, because there've been a couple instances-

• 1:05:09Conan O'Brien?

  He breaks boards, you break balls.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:05:12Speaker 06

  Hey, that's the perfect couple.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  But I do think, I do think there's times when I've let my mouth kind of get ahead of me, and then he's had to, like, jump in and, like, settle things.

• 1:05:22Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, you mean, out in the world?

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:05:24Conan O'Brien?

  You've taught, you've, you've, because you have a, a hair-trigger temper.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  I'm a shit stirrer.

• 1:05:29Conan O'Brien?

  And you get mad. I've been with you when you start to get into it with someone, and-

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:05:34Conan O'Brien?

  Tac can intervene and calm you?

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  No, he's like, very, uh, old school, where he, like, he will defend my honor, and he'll, like, get into it with whoever's doing it, and because he's my muscle, he now knows, like, he's always known how to, like, really fight. He grew up learning, knowing how to fight, because he was like a little immigrant kid, and people used to pick on him.

• 1:05:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  And so, he's always had that, but, you know, now it's like, "He's a black belt in karate, he'll chop you," and then- And then, uh, yeah, so I can use that.

• 1:06:04Conan O'Brien?

  So you say, "I'll chop you, I'll chop you." No, he'll chop you. Um, yeah, I think that would be, so you mean a situation where you're driving, he's in the passenger seat, uh, someone cuts you off, you beep your horn, maybe give him the finger, and they yell at you and say you can't drive.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Well, it's not usually road rage.

• 1:06:20Conan O'Brien?

  Would he jump out of the car and say, "I will defend your honor"?

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  No, I mean, there was an incident at a gas station once, where these two people were picking on this older man, and they were, like, threatening him when he got out of the car, and so I started yelling, and then one of them started yelling at me, and then Tac came out of the store, and he's like, "Don't talk to my wife that way," and it got very intense.

• 1:06:37Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, good for him.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  But nothing happened.

• 1:06:39Conan O'Brien?

  Good for him. What I would have-

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  It was, it was pumped.

• 1:06:42Conan O'Brien?

  Same situation, I'm being honest, if someone was, we were at a gas station, and I was inside, and someone was screaming at Liza, I'd come out and say, "When you're done yelling at my wife..."

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  No! Conan, no!

• 1:06:52Conan O'Brien?

  Because I would say, "Well, this is your affair here, this is your business." "When you're done screaming at my wife..."

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 1:07:00Conan O'Brien?

  "I will move the car so you can pull in."

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Okay. You would give them your spot at the pump?

• 1:07:06Speaker 06

  Best not to be hurt.

• 1:07:09Conan O'Brien?

  But now I can say, you know, "You're yelling at my wife, my friend Tac, chop you." Tac, chop you, he chop you. He chop you good. That's the one I like.

• 1:07:19Speaker 06

  Do we can hire Tac as, like, a security guard for you?

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  He chop you good. I, I feel like every guy thinks one day they'll become a black belt in karate. I feel like that's like the sort of-

• 1:07:29Conan O'Brien?

  I have never thought that.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  You guys have never wanted to be in karate, learn karate, and then become a black belt in karate?

• 1:07:34Conan O'Brien?

  No, he wants to be, uh, the person who's seen the most, uh, musicals non-stop in a, in a nine-week career.

• 1:07:40Speaker 06

  You don't need karate for that.

• 1:07:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. He, and you should see the belt that comes with that.

• 1:07:44Speaker 06

  It's a really, very shiny.

• 1:07:46Conan O'Brien?

  Very, it's a very colorful, fun belt.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  I just-

• 1:07:49Conan O'Brien?

  It's a sassy belt.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:51Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, but, but Sona, uh, I think this is very cool that he can do this now, and I am curious if it has practical applications-

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  Of course it does.

• 1:07:59Conan O'Brien?

  Karate. Oh, I'm sorry, karate.

• 1:08:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. I think it does. I think knowing any kind of martial art is good for you.

• 1:08:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  Right? You don't think so?

• 1:08:07Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I'm not saying I don't think so, I just am curious, I don't know.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  You think it's all like chopping boards and, like, kicking the air, but you're just wondering, does that actually translate if you're in a fight?

• 1:08:17Conan O'Brien?

  If you're in a fight. I'm sure it does.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  Yes, I think it does.

• 1:08:20Conan O'Brien?

  I'm sure it does, yeah.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  Yes, I think even just-

• 1:08:22Conan O'Brien?

  Say yes.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  I think even just saying, "I'm a black belt in karate, bitch," then that's enough to scare somebody.

• 1:08:28Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, it's such a cliche, "I'm a black belt in karate," I would just start laughing if someone said that to me, and, um-

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  You would not be, no, if someone was coming into your face, and they're like, "I'm a black belt in karate," you'd be like, "Okay, sorry, bro."

• 1:08:39Speaker 06

  No, you'd start doing bits.

• 1:08:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I do bits.

• 1:08:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. You would never say, "Bro." I don't know why I would think you would say, "Bro."

• 1:08:44Conan O'Brien?

  Bro? What are you talking about? I'd say, "He has no, he has no sibling of mine."

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  And then they'd just beat you badly.

• 1:08:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I once, when I was, uh, at Late Night, I, one of the writers studied martial arts, and, uh, he's since passed away, Brian Rich, but he's a really funny writer, really, and it's tragic that he's gone, but I once, he was very serious about studying, I think, martial arts, and I told him that I had studied a defense called the cube, where you trick, you trace the outlines of a cube with your hand, and, and, and you never stop, and you cover every side, and I said, "If you do that, you can't penetrate the cube with a, a blow." And I would do the cube to him, and he would go to, like, slap me, and basically, I would just then move my hand so that would knock the hand that was slapping at me,

• 1:09:33Conan O'Brien?

  but it had nothing to do with the cube, but I kept talking about the cube, and I, I think I drove him insane, because he kept saying, "Well, I don't understand how, what do you mean it's the cube? You're not doing anything, you're just, the minute my hand starts to come near you, you just bat away at my hand."

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 1:09:47Conan O'Brien?

  But you're, what is the cube? And I'd be like, "No, it's the cube defense, it's been worked out mathematically, and if I trace that, and if you can see this on video, I would just do this and say it's the cube."

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  You're miming, he's miming a cube.

• 1:09:59Conan O'Brien?

  I'm miming, making a cube with my hands by moving my hands around in a, you know, geometric pattern.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:10:05Conan O'Brien?

  And-

• 1:10:06Speaker 01

  The least threatening thing I've ever seen. You look like you're voguing.

• 1:10:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it looks, yes, it looks like I'm Madonna voguing. It looks like I'm voguing, but I would say, "It's the cube, man, nothing gets through the cube." It just made him crazy, and then when my son was old enough, when he was like seven, I started telling him, "Yeah, I know the cube defense." I started doing the same bullshit with my son. And he was like, "What does that mean? It does, no, you're just, that's not anything, what is that?" So that's why he doesn't talk to me.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  It's a wonder you haven't been, can I be very sincere? It's a wonder you haven't been beaten up more than you have been.

• 1:10:37Conan O'Brien?

  I was beaten up, I was beaten up once, yeah.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  But it's, it's a, it's an, it's surprising you haven't been beaten up more, but I think in a way, maybe God made you tall, because he knew this would be how you are, so that it would be, you would be threatening looking, but not actually threatening.

• 1:10:53Conan O'Brien?

  If you see me in person, I don't look like someone you'd necessarily want to mess with.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  Exactly, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, and you're, and you're in good shape, and you look like you could-

• 1:11:00Conan O'Brien?

  Also, I have so much untapped rage. I think that would work in my favor. Eduardo, do you agree with this?

• 1:11:06Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 1:11:06Conan O'Brien?

  I would go, uh, uh, you know, I, I do think I have a lot of, uh, anger, and I'm very physical, so I might snap.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  I'd be more hesitant to fight the guy with the cube than the guy who says he has a black belt in karate.

• 1:11:21Conan O'Brien?

  Because you don't know what I'm getting at.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  Because you seem ill.

• 1:11:25Speaker 06

  You're unpredictable.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Because you seem ill and unwell.

• 1:11:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, and who knows? No one wants to fight crazy.

• 1:11:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, no one wants to fight crazy. So, congratulations to Tac.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Yes, very proud of him.

• 1:11:35Conan O'Brien?

  Baroyan, I'll, I'll get this right someday.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:37Conan O'Brien?

  Takesian. Uh, yeah, and, um, I hope he don't chop you.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, he's not gonna chop me. Don't say chop. Why'd you have to end it, watch, with chop?

• 1:11:46Conan O'Brien?

  I chop you. And I chop, and I chop, and I chop again. It's just so funny if he would narrate his karate chops like that. "I chop you, now I chop you again. Now I chop you three times. That's a chop, and a chop, and a chop."

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  That's not how karate works.

• 1:11:57Conan O'Brien?

  I know, something's wrong with me.

• 1:12:01Conan O'Brien?

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:12:21Conan O'Brien?

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