Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend
Hosted by Conan O'Brien
Original podcast
Conan talks to Conan O’Brien Must Go writer Mike Sweeney about following Javier Bardem around Madrid and writing exit strategies for the fans.
5,744 words · 10 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.
Hey, Conan O'Brien here and we are doing something a little different today. My Max Travel Series is back. And the first episode, this is the second season, first episode drops. That's what the kids say on May 8th. We're taping this in 1978. And I haven't even started high school yet. Sitting in with us is a special guest. He's been with me many, many years. And he has been with me on every single travel show. And his name is Mike Sweeney. Hi, Conan. Good to see you. Hi, Sona. Hi, Matt. Hi, Mike. And I will point out, you are a fan fave.
They do like it when Mike Sweeney graces our presence. It's the first I'm hearing that. You're a room fave, too. Room fave. I like being a room fave. Yeah. I went a little crazy on Fan Fave. And I have to say, we started out many, many, many years ago. And in my early iterations of the travel shows, you were always with me. And then it just became you were my right-hand guy on those shows. And all the different iterations, Conan Without Borders. Conan Without Borders. Oh, we did. How many of those did we do? Thirteen? Thirteen countries. And then we started doing these for Max. And they were called, and are called, Conan O'Brien Must Go.
And we did four last year. And we have the second season dropping. It starts today. Yes. And let's just talk about Spain. Because Spain is the first show. Correct.
This is not a police interview. You shouldn't do this. Continue. Continue. You're being recorded.
I don't recall.
I don't recall. You still don't want your attorney with you? Okay, go ahead. Spain. Spain. We went to Spain. We went to Madrid. And that episode drops today. We have a special guest star on that episode. And I'm just gonna say it. It's Javier Bardem. Oh, man. And... You thought it was me? It was Javier Bardem. I'm disappointed it's Javier Bardem. Now, there are two other writer producers who were unable to join us for this session. And when I say unable, I didn't invite them. Right. Probably because of the 10-minute notice before recording. Exactly. Yeah, we just decided to do this, right? Oh, my God, it drops today? Sweeney's here. Let's get him in. Guys, what's up?
Jose Arroyo and Jesse Gaskell, who are brilliant writers and funny and helped put this whole thing together invaluable. They're not with us today, but I think you can fill the bill.
They were extra invaluable in Spain because well, Jose grew up in Spain and Jesse grew up all over the world and is very fluent in Spanish as well, so.
Yeah, very helpful. And of course, I too.
And you were have a knack for Spanish.
Have a knack?
He's good at it. You, yes, you have.
I've heard him and I think sometimes he talks, you talk, you speak very quickly.
I love to speak very quickly.
If you need to go to a library.
Or, excuse me, la biblioteca. Right, or you want to order an apple at a restaurant, Conan is your guy.
Un apple.
And.
It's una.
It depends. I like a male apple.
A male apple, masculine apple.
It's the only kind of apple I'll bite into.
A big meaty stem.
Yeah, give me that.
Oh, my God.
But I, um, let's talk about, let's talk about the, uh, the Spain episode. This is something that people are gonna be able to watch. Uh, it's.
I know we'll talk about it eventually.
Well, we're gonna get into it right now. Jesus, what a.
What? I, I'm a fan fave. I can do whatever I want.
You are a DW dickus.
You should not have told me I was a fan fave. That was your big mistake.
I made it up to try and grease the skids.
All right, I'll go back to my regular. Go ahead.
Spain.
Yes.
Madrid. We, I, I thought this was a wonderful trip. I had never been to Madrid before. And we went, of course, the premise of the show is, uh, people call in from around the world. They zoom in. I chat with them. You can hear those, uh, during the week. Those drop on the Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan episodes.
Right.
But, uh, we had, we noticed that we had a couple of fans in Madrid.
And we decided to go and visit them and get involved in their lives and.
We have three fans in this episode, which is one more than usual because they were, they were all great.
I'm gonna say four, because I think Javier.
Well, Javier.
Is a big fan. Oh, I can't say something about Javier, uh, or Javier, uh, is that he, um. We were so worried. He's a huge star.
And he's always been lovely. When he's come on the show, when he's come on the podcast, he's, I adore this guy. And he's universally beloved for his talent and his incredible looks and his magnetism and his machismo. But, um, so I was concerned about, oh my God, you know, I fuck around during these shows.
I gotta kind of keep it together. I don't want to waste his time. And I kept saying to Javier, okay, we've done it, we've done one or two things. If you need to get going, and he was like, nonsense, Conan.
We must continue onward. There's more to do.
That's amazing.
And he had this like, he had this zorba-like energy.
To keep doing more and man, did he dive in. He's, he's the star of the show. He's great.
The whole week, we, we'd check back in with him and be like, cause he's, he's not, TV, TV's great. What a medium, but he's a movie star.
So we were, he was like, it was like handling plutonium. We were like, oh my God. And, and so.
When we're, when we're with a TV star, we will, we will waste their goddamn time like you wouldn't believe. I don't care, I don't care what tier you're on in television. It doesn't matter. I will cover you in caramel. I'll, uh, I'll waste weeks of your time. But if you've made it in the movie biz, in film, uh, no, I am, I respect that. Cinema.
And bilingual. He, he's the master of the Spanish cinema as well as now, uh, the English language. So he, we'd be like, are you sure? Cause also it was physically demanding the things and we were going to shoot with Javier Bardem.
Oh, yeah.
And he was like.
I didn't wait to see this.
He finally just was like, listen, I am yours for the day.
I will go start, and we started at 7:00 AM.
Yeah, 7:00 AM, we met him.
The Prado Museum.
Prado Museum.
They would only let us in before they opened their doors. So, and right through till the evening.
He was, uh, he's my hero.
Our last day there.
Love that guy. And I have to say, one of the highlights for me was we're in the Prado and we're taking the escalator down onto the next shoot and his cell phone rings and he looks down and he's getting a. Um, FaceTime message from his beautiful wife. Oh, no. Penelope. Penelope.
Oh.
And he's like, oh, hello, my love. And she's like, hello. And I'm standing next to him on an escalator. And I was like, hi. He's like, I'm with Conan. He said, I'm with Conan. And she goes like, oh, hello. And I just, I'm like, hi. And talk about. Well, they have kids, so it wasn't a big deal.
No.
I, uh, she's, I mean, even on a iPhone FaceTime, she's the most beautiful woman in the world. The phone had this glow that I don't think iPhones are supposed to have, only when Penelope's. And, um, I, uh, so that made me more nervous about wasting his time. Yes. Because he could choose, well, actually, no, Penelope was out of the country. She was in Hong Kong. I accused him of, I said, I thought Penelope was gonna be here. And he said, oh, she had to be out of the country. And I said, admit it. Admit it. Right down the block. Admit it. She, quote, had to be out of the country when you told her you'd be with Conan O'Brien for the day. Cause I believe what happened. But, um, no, they're, they're. He was more than enough, though. Good God.
For me. Yeah. No, he was. Take it easy. He was incredible. Uh, and, um, but also, uh, it wasn't all about Javier. Madrid was spectacular. And I have to say, I, I always play in the back of my head with, where could I live? It's a game I play. Where could I live? And Madrid did seem like a city that I could live in. It's a cool city. Not that, that they would welcome me, but I thought, oh, this, the, the architecture is beautiful. The food is fantastic. The people are very warm. Um, I kind of know the language enough to get to the biblioteca.
And, um, and I, so I was, I, I came away very impressed with Madrid. And we have a lot of silliness in the show. Lot of silliness. A lot of silliness, three fans, they were all great. And I, again, I'm sticking to my credo, which is, I know there are a lot of travel shows out there. I do not want to educate anybody in any way. In fact. Success. I want you to know less about the country afterwards. All I care about is if you laugh. And I think, I'd like to think we did that this season. Yes, it was a really fun episode. Yeah, if you have pre-existing knowledge of Madrid, it will be gone after you watch the show. This is, this is like a protein that eats away at the brain.
I have a question as an outsider.
How much stuff, like the ratio of what you shoot, because a lot of it is found in the moment and improvised. Do you guys end up distilling down and using? Like what's the ratio?
And hats off to Mike Sweeney and Jose Arroyo and Jesse Gaskell do a lot of research. And then we have meetings where they'll talk about, we can go here, we can go there. Different, first of all, there's the fans and what we're going to do with them. But there's a lot of stuff we think up beforehand, that they think up beforehand, and we have talks about it. So the best shows are the ones where we're always going in with a plan. And then we're keeping our eyes open for little silly falderol along the way that we're going to find.
But there's no way you could improvise this and go from location to location to location and have it work out. It would never happen in a million years. So the work that Mike and Jose and Jesse do is invaluable. They're creating this sort of a script without an order. Because we don't know what the order is going to be until we get into editing. But there's, they do a lot of footwork before we go to the country. And then Jason Challemi is. Well, Jason finds our local fixers, every country. Jason finds, yeah, since the, I mean, since the very beginning, Jason started as an intern on the late night show. And here it is. I mean, this is shortly after the end of the Civil War.
And we hired him via telegraph and he's still.
And he produces everything in the field, everything on the ground. And it's my favorite, one of my favorite things is when we zero in on potential countries. So he'll call, you know, Spain, he'll call the fixers there and he'll talk to two or three.
Fixers, the people that arrange everything.
There's local producers. He, he, there's a registry of television producers. Or he'll get recommendations.
I see.
And he has this, I always like talking to him because he has this enerring sense of it. And he's like, I talked to three people. I got a really good sense, a really good feeling about.
The second one.
Yes. And he's always, they're always great.
Wow.
You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
Yeah, I love awards.
Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
Nice.
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Ooh.
Every morning.
This fall, just to see if I can do it.
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So when you have someone like Bardem in there, you're saying like, you don't want to waste his time.
But he's so fun-loving. Do you find yourself going like, let's just mess with this off the cuff?
Oh, yes. There, he's such a funny improviser. I mean, you could tell when he was here on the podcast. So there's stuff in the park.
There's tons of improvising.
Improvising where I'm, you know, I came up through improv and I'm improvising with this guy who's as good an improviser as anyone I've worked with. And we're, there's a scene where we're mirroring each other, like taking little mini cues off each other to act, who can be the stupidest? And he'll never work in this town again after this thing. And a quick shout out too, because he's there for all of these, is Blay.
Blay, of course.
Blay comes along and does a heroic job on all of the social media stuff. Well, give us your take, Blay, on Madrid.
Heroic is very kind.
No, I know. I just said it.
The minute I said it, I knew it was a mistake.
Exactly. Madrid was, what a wonderful town. And everyone was so nice. And I think that it had such a cool vibe, which was really great. Bardem was, couldn't have been more down to earth and generous. Like, he was hanging out and knew all the crew members' names, which would just hang out.
Which I don't, first of all, frankly, I don't know your names. You're all wearing name tags.
He did my laundry. I brought his laundry. I missed the drop at the hotel. And he, I was like, you know, you kind of live in the town. I assume you have a washer dryer. Amazing guy.
In the episode, you can see it, but Javier takes me to the oldest restaurant in the world. The oldest restaurant in.
Botin.
Botin, which is, and it's been in continuous.
Since 1727?
The oven has been, stayed lit for, since it was opened in like the 700s.
And Goya used to wash dishes there. Goya washed dishes there.
Hemingway had his own corner that he used to go and hang out there, which is.
But the idea that the oven has been on since 17.
Even during COVID, they went in specifically to keep it going.
Really? And that kept COVID going. COVID had just about died out worldwide.
1725.
I was off by two years.
And the food is very good. They're famous for their suckling pig, which, and so there's an actual room.
Where they're mass cooking, suckling pigs and they're all up on these little plates all around this room where they get re they kind of heat them up again right before they go out, so.
It's, I, I have to say.
That room was amazing.
One of the things that drives these episodes are the, are the fans and we are blessed that this goes for people I meet on the street all the time, but our fanbase, they're routinely very, uh, nice people who are also funny and smart and natural improvisers. That seems to be our fanbase, which is a lucky thing because all the fans in, in Spain are very funny and they've got good ideas and they're great at yes and, they are the rules of improv and that goes for these travel shows. They're just, they're really fueled by, I'm interested
in people and I, I like to talk to funny people and we have this constant stream of funny fans.
Yeah, they're all very charming.
Um, well, you know, a lot of the legwork's done when you talk to your fans here on the podcast, so we all get a really good, I mean, you know, like in Spain, Bruno, the airplane pilot.
Oh yeah, I remember Bruno.
Well, so then it's kind of like, uh, duh, let's go visit Bruno. Wasn't he like really dashing? Yes.
He was such a handsome pilot.
Yes. Well, guess what? I'm his co-pilot. No, actually, he's my co-pilot.
He's your co-pilot?
I outrank him because.
You're in the captain's seat.
I, um, I, we made up a uniform that has one more stripe than him.
Literally just put an extra stripe on mine so I could order him around. But I, I've, I'm flying, I'm in the cockpit with him and, uh, it's, it's, he's terrific. He's great.
He was unflappable.
He, he, he was good advertisement for, uh,
For him as a pilot, he was very large and in charge.
Yes, if he can handle me in the cockpit, you know he can handle any low pressure system that suddenly arises.
I have to say one thing, which is I think as a fan, my favorite thing about Conan O'Brien Must Go is it really feels like you've tied together the whole spectrum of your career from like, doing things at late night that are just absurd and silly and ridiculous and really fun, all the way through the podcast, meeting fans, and actually having some really great conversations that are very funny, but also very meaningful. It's cool, especially I love seeing the first time you surprise them, and they're always like, and they then always kind of come in for a big hug. So it's just, it's really cool. It really feels like you're, you're kind of tying all these things together.
Did you say you're a fan?
You said as a fan. Okay.
I am a fan. There's a photo, by the way. I don't know if I ever told you.
You tried to get on the show.
No, yes, I would love to. But there's a photo of me in my dorm room, two years before I started interning for you, of, and you are on the TV.
Oh, you're kidding?
Which is really cool.
I haven't seen that.
Yeah, yeah, it's really, I've kept it from you. But, uh, yeah, it's really cool.
The, um, the fun thing is that we go to these, we'll be in another country, and I mean, I think this season, and it's, I'm not giving anything away because I think it's in the official trailer that's, that's out there, but in the Austria show, um, a woman comes up to me on the street and she's talking about how she's a fan of the podcast and a fan of the different clips. And, and then she's, uh, she's from Kazakhstan.
And then I start chatting with her, and then she says, well, anyway, I have to go. It's a really funny moment.
This is after she's been polite for a while.
She's been polite for a while, and it's just, but it's so. Excited. What I love. Initial excitement of like, oh my god. Initial excitement and me wanting to talk and talk and talk, and her saying, I've got to go. And I just turned to camera and go, when, when your fan in Kazakhstan wraps things up, you know it's time to end things. And I like when those moments come out because they're very, you know, my wife is always with me when people will stop me to chat with me, and I'll chat with them, and then I'm giving them career advice, and then she can tell they need to go.
Like, okay. All right, Conan. Thank you. Well, where are we going now?
But and it goes back to what you're saying, too. Um, just talking about that moment on the street, but also with Javier Bardem. Yes, we'll do all this research and like, okay, you're gonna go to Botin and have a meal with him. And but then you really take it from there and improvise.
Within each segment, so much of it is improvised.
There's it's a mix. I would say it's a mix of it's like, uh, any kind of, I mean, I know this is using a sports analogy is is for me ridiculous, but I do think the closest thing it's akin to is you have a play in mind in football, you execute it, and sometimes it falls apart and you have to do something else in the in a moment. And sometimes that ends up being fantastic. Sometimes it doesn't. Luckily, we have an edit room and we have great editors.
But I also think I've said it many before, but just from having a late night talk show where you worked in six minute segments, I think, and shot tons and tons of remotes out on the street, you bring all that when every one of these situations, you go into it going, all right, I'm having having dinner with Javier Bardem in this restaurant. This will probably be a five, six minute piece and your brain, you just know you're like also directing it at kind of as you go. And and we're all looking for a dismount.
But but you're you are as well. And
We always trying to think of, oh, what's what's the out?
This always reminds me of the time, uh, one of the very earliest things that we did was when we went to Finland.
And we decided to go way up north, up towards the Arctic Circle. So Sweeney and I are up in the Arctic Circle and we found this guy that, um, just basically, there was a reindeer herd nearby, and I think he was
The Sami and the
He was an indigenous.
Yeah, the Sami's live up there. It's the indigenous peoples. And I remembered you sat you stood me next to this guy who I don't think spoke English. And you said, okay, and action. And I remembered I looked around and there wasn't a tree for maybe 600 yards. And there was a
And there's ice on the ground and I'm standing next to this Sammy, this indigenous tribes person who's Herds reindeer. Yeah, herds reindeer for a living and
and I turned to Sweeney and I said, "You've put me in the perfect comedy vacuum."
Tundra is funny. Yeah, we're in a tundra. There is, you know, so yes, there are times where you're with, there are times where you're with Javier Bardem and you're, it's just, if you move a muscle, he's gonna do something really funny and he's gonna add and enrich and it's just fantastic. And then there are other times where I've been placed literally on an ice floe. It's like punching yourself out of a, we put you in a bag with wild dogs and cats and threw you in a river. Yeah. Action! Action and go! I'll never forget that. I can still feel, I can feel the comedic solitude to this day. Anyway,
this is gonna be out May 8th. That's when the first episode drops and there'll be three of them and we're happy with it. And that's about as, I swear to God, that's That's our highest praise. That's the
Ringing endorsement from the host.
For me, I can't go any, that for me is a ringing endorsement.
Can I say, I watched it and as somebody who was not really involved in making
And not a fan of Conan.
And not a fan of yours at all. And, you know, we have these staff screenings. Everybody was just laughing. It's a really, really funny show. It's great and I love it. And I did learn something about Spain.
Paid employees loved it.
Also, that's one of my favorite jokes ever, which is outside of the Museum of Ham.
Okay, no.
You need to watch. It is my favorite joke.
So please watch, everybody, for that joke. I can't wait.
All right, now you got me mad. All right, that's all we got. Mike Sweeney, thank you for dropping in. Fan favorite, my pleasure. Conan O'Brien must go. Check it out.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
Supervising producer Aaron Blair, associate talent producer Jennifer Samples, associate producers Sean Dougherty and Lisa Bern, engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right? Yep. Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Ooh. Did you know that, David? No, but I feel like we need it. Why didn't you know that, David? I know, you expect me to know everything. I knew this. Did you? Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good, and I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water. Alka-Seltzer Cold Fast Dissolves Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka-Seltzer Cold: Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief.
Among oral products, use as directed.
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