Adam Carolla | Club Random with Bill Maher

Comedian and Podcaster Adam Carolla joins Bill Maher for a blunt conversation that moves from Hollywood war stories to California’s political dysfunction. They unpack the reality of entertainment careers—how early wins create false confidence and why setbacks are unavoidable. Carolla revisits his early breaks with Loveline and The Man Show, while Maher reflects on losing his father just before Politically Incorrect took off. The conversation then widens to identity politics and DEI backlash, overregulation and government bloat, discipline versus Ozempic shortcuts, and how Carolla’s emotionally distant upbringing shaped his independence and worldview—before giving way to classic Club Random humor, from Pop-Tarts to Elvis and strip-club metaphors. Support our Advertisers: -Head to https://www.squarespace.com/CLUBRANDOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code CLUBRANDOM. -Get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for 1 year at https://www.factormeals.com/random50off -Protect your car with CarShield. Get 20% off at http://www.carshield.com with code RANDOM Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: [email protected] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:30Bill Maher?

  I don't know about you, but I'm a big fan of Green in all its forms. Get it? And for fellow lovers of, well, Green, the Club Random merch store has you covered. Grinders, papers, and Zippo lighters, all designed to support your relationship with Green, wink, wink, whatever and whatever philosophy comes with that for you. Head to clubrandom.com and bring home some random.

• 2:01Bill Maher?

  Well, she was going out with the electric cars and then she got the Dodge Ram. And now she's happy.

• 2:10Speaker 04

  I saw Roots with my mom.

• 2:12Bill Maher?

  Wait, I thought your mom was never there. And now you watch Roots with her?

• 2:16Speaker 04

  I didn't watch Roots with my mom.

• 2:21Bill Maher?

  Guest number one.

• 2:24Bill Maher?

  Remember, always when you're on like the Tonight Show, the cop always said like, "Guest number one."

• 2:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:31Bill Maher?

  On it. How are you, pal?

• 2:32Speaker 04

  Good to see you, brother.

• 2:33Bill Maher?

  How you doing?

• 2:34Speaker 04

  I'm doing well.

• 2:36Bill Maher?

  I hear. I hear all about you. Your show's better than ever. You're getting your walk on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Your divorce went through. You must be on cloud nine.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  It's, uh, it's good. You look, it's a pendulum and it's either coming down or it's heading up. Like, you know the business. And it's been heading up for the last short period of time.

• 3:01Bill Maher?

  Well, sometimes, well, yeah, but sometimes one part of your life is going great and the other isn't. I certainly have had that situation.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:11Bill Maher?

  Where, like, I remember when I was in my early, mid-30s. You know, I was in a very successful relationship, but my career.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:20Bill Maher?

  Had taken that dip.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:22Bill Maher?

  You know, the worst part of a career, a comic, two really bad parts. One, when you start. That's really tough, like, first year or two.

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:30Bill Maher?

  And then there's like, oh, you think you're on your way.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:34Bill Maher?

  You know, you do a couple of sitcoms. It's like, and then, you know, there's that like, "Mmm, not so fast."

• 3:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it's, it's, it is weird. Like, I got out of the gate. The first two shows I really did, which was Love Line on MTV.

• 3:50Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  And then The Man Show on Comedy Central. Both of them were destined for other networks. Love Line was supposed to be a syndicated show. And The Man Show was a pilot from ABC. And they didn't get picked up, but they both ended up on MTV and then ended up on Comedy Central. And that was my first two endeavors. So I was like, "Oh, this is so easy." You know, it, it, it just... By the way, if the first network doesn't pick you up, the second one does. And, and it just all came so quickly and so easily.

• 4:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  And then... I realized at some point, oh no, it's a slog, it's a struggle, there's lots of setbacks.

• 4:32Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  That's the way it goes.

• 4:33Bill Maher?

  Even Frank Sinatra, you know, maybe the greatest career, or certainly among the top five, who was like a giant phenomenon of a star, like Justin Bieber at his peak, whatever that was, Harry Styles today, in 1939, early 40s, the war years, Bobby Sox, there's just people screaming lines around the block, just like. And then, you go to 1950, couldn't get arrested. That's the subplot of The Godfather, the movie plot. Like Johnny Fontaine never gets this part. That was Sinatra. Supposedly, you know, Sinatra had the same story.

• 5:14Bill Maher?

  Somebody had to threaten the bandleader to get him out of his contract.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  You know, it's kind of sad that guys like Elvis weren't alive to see The Ascension the second. You know what I mean? Like, when Elvis died, he was kind of a joke and everyone wanted to see Crosby, Stills and Nash, and not your dad's fat guy with his suit on and stuff, stuff like that.

• 5:41Bill Maher?

  There's a picture of him right over there.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, King.

• 5:44Bill Maher?

  And he's not.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  No, but what I'm saying.

• 5:46Bill Maher?

  And he's not fat.

• 5:47Speaker 04

  What I'm saying is, is my daughter and her friends saw the Elvis movie 19 times, you know. They don't, Elvis didn't get to see.

• 5:56Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 5:57Speaker 04

  His movie. Yeah, they loved it.

• 5:59Bill Maher?

  They loved the Buzz Lerman movie.

• 6:01Speaker 04

  Yes, and what I'm saying is, is nobody was bigger than Elvis. And then Elvis became a sort of parody of himself and was sort of on the decline and gained the weight, the drugs and everything else, and then he died. He didn't get to then swing back and experience this resurrection.

• 6:23Bill Maher?

  He did, not in your liberal bubble, Adam, but he had a very brief period where he was the thing. That's 1956, until he goes into the army in 1950, I mean, really just a couple of years. Then he went into the army. When he came out of the army, that fucking criminal immigrant, illegal immigrant, who was his manager.

• 6:46Speaker 04

  The Colonel Tom Parker.

• 6:49Bill Maher?

  Thank you, yes, let's name him. He's very famous.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:54Bill Maher?

  He kept him in this sort of indentured servitude. Elvis, with all his psychological problems and mommy and daddy issues and all this stuff, and he couldn't break away from this guy. So he kept him in the movies. You know, these, what Elvis called travelogues. They're all the same, Clambake and Speedway and, you know, like forgettable songs and...

• 7:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 7:21Bill Maher?

  Because most of the country, not your liberal bubble, Adam.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  I do hang out with those people.

• 7:28Bill Maher?

  Was...

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Crosby, Stilson, Nash and Neil Young.

• 7:32Bill Maher?

  We're still going to see Elvis movies.

• 7:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I get it. I guess what, you know what I say? When I interview an athlete or anybody who had great success or was a Super Bowl MVP or something like that, I always ask them, "Was your dad around to see it?" You know what I mean? Because it's poignant to me.

• 7:53Bill Maher?

  Poignant to me because my dad wasn't.

• 7:56Speaker 04

  Around to see you win the Super Bowl?

• 7:59Bill Maher?

  No, basically in life.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  Right, right. No, yeah, sorry for, I'm not kidding around. But you're a very successful guy. You've made quite an impact on society and any father would go, "Oh, my God, this would be great."

• 8:13Bill Maher?

  Because my father was a newsman and a funny guy. And I'm a funny guy who made it successfully talking about the news. So it would have been, it would have been different if I went into the, you know, soft ice cream business and was a giant success. But the fact that I sort of followed where he was heading, I think would have been very poignant.

• 8:36Speaker 04

  But when he died, you were dealing weed and eating top ramen. And that's his last memory of you, right?

• 8:43Bill Maher?

  No, basically. He saw me do the Tonight Show, but he never, he died just before Politically Incorrect went on, which was, would have been the perfect thing for him to see. And I wish it was one of those people who could say, "Well, but he's watching from upstairs." But he, unfortunately, he's not upstairs, he's dead.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  Well, if it's any... Consolation, my dad made it all the way through my career and still didn't give a shit, so.

• 9:08Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Yes, never, never think, never had cable, never knew what I was doing, so.

• 9:14Bill Maher?

  Why is that?

• 9:15Speaker 04

  I don't, you know, I, I don't know how it works, but my mom and my dad somehow found each other, like the two parents who care the least. Maybe it was some sort of symposium for parents, potential parents who didn't care. But neither one of them ever had cable, they never knew what I was up to, they never had any interest, and were not there to see any of it.

• 9:43Bill Maher?

  And what about childhood, same deal?

• 9:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, they're, I'll tell you something about disappointers, they never disappoint. They're always who they are.

• 9:53Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  It's never like, oh no, my mom was the best, and then lost total interest, you know, in me.

• 9:59Bill Maher?

  So they were together and there when you were kids, when you were a kid, but just not interested in you?

• 10:05Speaker 04

  They had kids and didn't know it, but, but were there, you know what I mean?

• 10:11Bill Maher?

  Wasn't that sort of good sometimes?

• 10:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, in general, you get a very realistic version of the world, you know what I mean? Like, nobody's gonna hop out and make you dinner, and make you breakfast, and tuck you in, and sort of take care of you, like, it was like, it gives you, when your parents, and especially mom, aren't, aren't big fans and don't do a lot, you get really independent really fast, and you get a very sober version of the world, and how you fit into it, you know, and is anyone gonna do anything for you? Or you're gonna have to sort of take care of your own stuff? Like, there's a version of it where the mom dotes over the little prince, and he can do no wrong,

• 10:57Speaker 04

  and those guys get ruined, because they show up in the real world expecting to have rose petals thrown down at their feet, and they get disappointed another direction. So, like, it is good in terms of getting independent and getting realistic. It doesn't make for a great childhood, but it's like, it's good, it's good training.

• 11:20Bill Maher?

  Not to make everything political, and we sure don't wanna do that, but it does to me, when I hear stories like this, and you hear them all the time. Just make me more angry at the Democrats for going so in on identity politics. Because, you know, life is such an unpredictable mishmash of advantages and disadvantages. It's so simplistic to say, well, you know, because your race, because your religion, because whatever this thing you identify, that is what is the defining thing in America. No, these are the kind of things that are very often the defining thing in America. Your parents sucked. Now, that could have made you a giant failure. I've seen it work that way.

• 12:05Bill Maher?

  And I've seen it work the other way, where it makes you work harder and be better and somehow get further maybe than you would if they weren't shitty. So to reduce life to those kind of simplistic boxes, I think is so crazy. Because, you know, who knows who you would be or what you would be if your parents had been different.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  I mean, for me, and also, I was poor and I was sort of rudderless and I was a bad student. I didn't go to college and so on and so forth. And the economy was bad. And it was, when I graduated high school, I just was unmoored and just sort of floating out in the sea. I did not have a direction. I didn't have a skill. I didn't know anybody. My parents were sort of, don't ask, don't tell. And I literally was walking around North Hollywood, applying for jobs at supermarkets and stuff like that. And there was no jobs. And I went to the North Hollywood Fire Department.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  And I just walked in and I said, I think I could be a fireman. I played football. I'm like, I'm strong. I don't have any fear. I think this would be a good job for me. I'm not, I'm not good with the essays and the typing and all that stuff, but I'll go up a ladder and go into a building.

• 13:26Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I don't think you have to sell yourself that much. Just say you'll do it and they'll, they'll give you the application.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  I was eager for the fray. And the guy gave me an application. He said, don't expect to hear from us for a long time.

• 13:39Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 13:40Speaker 04

  And this is in the 80s. And I said, you're white. We're not hiring white people.

• 13:46Bill Maher?

  He said that?

• 13:47Speaker 04

  He said, well, he was a white guy and he was like, you know, between the two of us, they would expect a phone call.

• 13:54Bill Maher?

  So they were overcompensating and making up for our sorry past where the blacks were.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Yes, they were, but to your point, I was, my first, I was, I was first poor before I was white, you know what I mean?

• 14:12Bill Maher?

  I was poor too.

• 14:14Speaker 04

  And, and I needed a job, I, and so, they should hire sort of based on who needs it, not the color of your skin is what, is what I was saying. And I, I couldn't get on with the LA Fire Department because I was white and that goes way back, you know, affirmative action, I think is way predates DEI and all that, that kind of stuff, but.

• 14:38Bill Maher?

  Same idea.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  To, to, yeah, it's the same thing, it's, it's basically ecology and then climate change and global warming and all this stuff, the sort of different names for the same stuff.

• 14:48Bill Maher?

  The reason why it's always problematic is because we do need to compensate in the whole, for the groups in a, in the whole. The problem is that then it's individuals who actually, in some, in your case, for example, pay the price, you know, for, you know, things you personally didn't do and your, your, your race did. But you can't also deny that our race, we have some responsibility, not responsibility, but complicity, because we benefited from what advantages our entire race have. But then, when it gets down to the individual level, you see where the bitterness comes in. I mean, who wouldn't be bitter if they were just the way blacks felt the same way?

• 15:31Bill Maher?

  I'm being locked out of this job and you don't know me, you're not, you're judging me based on this thing.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:37Bill Maher?

  And so, like, you know, it's, it's a tough one.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  Well, you know, you bring up a good point and I, I kind of experienced it in a weird story, which is, I then couldn't get a job as a fireman, so I, I wandered onto a construction. And I became a labor. I just dug ditches and cleaned up garbage for seven bucks an hour. And that was sort of my lot. And then I.

• 16:02Bill Maher?

  So white people were still doing that work?

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Listen, like I said, poor people is who I worked with.

• 16:08Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  I did all sorts of carpet cleaning and manual labor and stuff with white, you know, with Todd Euler and Ray Oldhofer and guys like that, just dudes, you know, just poor dudes. Parents living in apartments, you know, they didn't have any money. And, but there's an interesting story that at a certain point, I got a job. A job opened up for earthquake rehab for the city of Los Angeles. And it was a prevailing wage shop.

• 16:38Bill Maher?

  After the one in ninety-four?

• 16:40Speaker 04

  Uh, no, pre the one in ninety-four. Seventy-two was the first one, I think. And then ninety-four, but they were gonna retrofit all these old brick buildings in Koreatown. And this is about eighty-seven, maybe eighty-eight.

• 16:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, every year they say it's, boy.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  Big one.

• 16:58Bill Maher?

  It's coming. And then it's, and I'm sure it is, but boy, they, they did kind of, boy who cried wolf me a little, a lot. I'm sure, I'm sure the plates are not happy, those tectonic plates, they're, you know, they're unstable. They're, they're like a, they're like your bipolar girlfriend. It could happen at any minute, or you could have a lovely dinner. I don't know.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  It's, it's just hard to say, but. Got bad news. This is all unreinforced concrete, so if it hits now, we're dead.

• 17:30Bill Maher?

  This place is going nowhere.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  We're just gonna be entombed here.

• 17:33Bill Maher?

  Going nowhere. With all the money I put into this, this is going fucking nowhere. So. Be the last thing standing.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  So I got this job doing earthquake rehab, cause it paid like eighteen bucks an hour, which was big bucks.

• 17:47Bill Maher?

  They called it rehab.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Earthquake rehab, yeah.

• 17:51Bill Maher?

  It's hysterical.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Seismic work, they called it.

• 17:53Bill Maher?

  California, even.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:55Bill Maher?

  The Betty Ford van was parked out front.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  So, I get this job and it's a city job. It's a government job and they need a certain amount of women and African American. They need representation. Well, we can't find any black guys who know earthquake rehab.

• 18:15Bill Maher?

  Don't forget the lesbians.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  They, I don't know if they can check for that, but they, there were a few on there. So, we end up with a black man named Chipper. And this guy's going to college and it comes from money, but he's got, he's gonna get this job, working earthquake rehab and making good money. And he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know anything and he's, he's not a carpenter. He's there, they hired him because he was black and they need representation on the job site.

• 18:43Bill Maher?

  Were you a carpenter?

• 18:44Speaker 04

  I was by then.

• 18:46Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 18:46Speaker 04

  Because I'd been doing it for about five years before I got there.

• 18:50Bill Maher?

  Excuse me, Jesus.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  But here's the part that's interesting. There's a guy on my crew named Jeff who's always wanted to be a fireman, but he's white and he can't get on. So, he's a carpenter, but his dream is to be a fireman. And years later, I ran into this guy Chip, Chipper, the black man carpenter, when I was doing a school function thing. Years later, I was already like a celebrity at that point. He said, hi. I said, hey, I remember all back in the day and everything. And I go, good. And he goes, that guy Jeff? And you keep in touch with him? I go, nah, not really. He was a racist. I go, I, I don't think he was. He was a nice guy, whatever. Now, he was racist. And I said, why? And he said, he hated me the whole time.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  And I realized, he hated you because he wanted to be a fireman, but he couldn't because of his race. And you were only hired because you're black and that reminded him of that and he like took it out on him. So, it creates a weird Hatfields and McCoys in the system.

• 19:57Bill Maher?

  There's no, there's no perfect answers in any of these naughty questions, especially about making right for horrible things that happened in the past. Now, I can see people listening to you and saying, oh, Adam, you have a Chipper on your shoulder. Because this happened and it is colored, no pun intended, your views on race politically for all the years that came after. Is that true, sir?

• 20:21Speaker 04

  I, by the way, I gave Chip my bags. He didn't have bags. He didn't have belt. He didn't have, you know, belts. I gave him a electrician's bag that I had and he put it through a Gucci belt and hung it as his bags on the job. And I was always good with Chip. But I do realize that this guy Jeff hated him because of the script being flipped.

• 20:47Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah, I mean, that is a microcosm of something that's happened millions of times, I would imagine, in America. But again, what is the alternative? You always have to ask that question. Is the alternative that we should have done nothing to recompense for the horrible past? No, I don't think that's the answer either. You know, it's hard not to do it and in some way be clumsy about it. We did over, in my view, the woke movement got, went over its skis or whatever that saying is and went too far with it. I mean, there were universities, like I think it was Michigan, who had 200 DEI officers.

• 21:29Bill Maher?

  Okay, at a college, at the most liberal place in the universe, you need 200 fucking com- I mean, this is just very Soviet. Because, you know, what are DEI officers? They're basically political enforcers, certainly when you have that many. So did they go too far? But this is the story of America with everything these days. Did Biden go too far with letting people in? Of course, no rational person would argue that. And then no rational person would say, yeah, and what Trump did in response to it wasn't too far the other way with what's going on in Minneapolis and all this stuff that even his own people hate now. And I just look at this and I always say to myself,

• 22:13Bill Maher?

  doesn't anybody want to win this game? This political game? It's so easy for somebody to win this game and you both just go to the extremes and lose.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, so here's what I basically say. When they try to force you into a Prius, X amount of people go, I'm getting a Dodge Ram truck and I'm putting a lift kit on it and some of those truck nuts hanging from the differential.

• 22:40Bill Maher?

  And rolling coal.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Right.

• 22:42Bill Maher?

  You know what that is?

• 22:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:43Bill Maher?

  What?

• 22:44Speaker 04

  So, wait, hold on one second. I just want to say that when they push you this way.

• 22:50Bill Maher?

  Yep.

• 22:51Speaker 04

  They then, a group, a large group goes that way.

• 22:56Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  But another group splinters off and goes harder the other direction. And now LA, which used to have just Camrys and Honda Civics, has either electric cars or Dodge Ram trucks.

• 23:11Bill Maher?

  Or the Musk thing, that, that, or, that personnel carrier thing that, what's the Tesla that, you know?

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Oh, the Cybertruck?

• 23:21Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Yes, that's out of like Damnation Alley with George Pappard from 1978.

• 23:29Bill Maher?

  Exactly, I mean. That thing is crazy.

• 23:32Speaker 04

  It's an asshole mobile. Right, right, but so now we're at a point where we, everybody is projecting and everyone is signaling their base. So when you see a white guy and he has Oakley Blade sunglasses on top of his trucker's hat, upside down, you go, okay, that guy's a Trump voter. And then when you see Gavin Newsom with his legs crossed further than, his knees are overlapping each other by 12 inches or on direction, then you go, okay, he's signaling to his base with a deep knee cross.

• 24:09Bill Maher?

  Back up here.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:11Bill Maher?

  I, I totally understand your point about signaling and I think you're right. I did not get the memo on Newsom's legs.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 24:18Bill Maher?

  What, what is, is this a thing?

• 24:20Speaker 04

  All right.

• 24:21Bill Maher?

  Is this somewhere around the Tucker Graham that I missed?

• 24:23Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no.

• 24:25Bill Maher?

  What is, Newsom's? Signaling people with his legs?

• 24:29Speaker 04

  If you watch, if you see pictures of Newsom with the leg crossed, it is that. Okay, first off, guys would do this a lot.

• 24:39Bill Maher?

  I do it.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  I do it too.

• 24:40Bill Maher?

  Cause I'm a guy.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  And then women would do a sort of this.

• 24:43Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  But the deeper the blue you get, the deeper, more compressed you're, the further it gets across. When you see pictures of Newsom with his legs crossed, it's insane. And the thing that's funny is Trump sits with his knees apart. And then he makes a diamond with his thumb and forefinger and he puts it in front of his nutsack. And it says, focus on this.

• 25:07Bill Maher?

  Plus the giant tie pointing to him.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  Right. If you see Justin Trudeau or Gavin Newsom or any of these people do panel their legs. And if the guy is from the New York Times who's interviewing him, he's got the super deep leg crossed too. It's sort of a signal to the base.

• 25:26Bill Maher?

  I must, I didn't know about all that.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Oh, yes.

• 25:29Bill Maher?

  I, okay, I'm learning. That's why we do this show, for learning. But I must say, I always thought it was a little weird when men cross their legs like you're describing. Nothing wrong with it, just, but it was just not how I cross my legs. It just, it just, there's something about it that, I'm sorry, it's just not manly.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:51Bill Maher?

  And you're saying that this is a signal?

• 25:54Speaker 04

  Yes. It is. You can see it.

• 25:57Bill Maher?

  I, I, you don't think it just could be, that's how they do it?

• 26:01Speaker 04

  It's, it's more than a coincidence that it is almost strictly the domain of the liberal politician and the liberal who does these super deep.

• 26:12Bill Maher?

  I'm gonna need to like, I wanna signal that I'm a centrist. I'm not that guy.

• 26:18Speaker 04

  No.

• 26:19Bill Maher?

  But I'm not this asshole.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  No.

• 26:21Bill Maher?

  Okay, so I'm here.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  Right. But the thing about Newsom is Newsom isn't here. Here was a woman in a miniskirt doing panel on Carson in the, in the seventies. He's further than here. He goes.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  I'm telling you, Bill.

• 26:39Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 26:39Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 26:40Bill Maher?

  Maybe it's just a flex on how flexible he is.

• 26:42Speaker 04

  I'm telling you, Obama does the deep one.

• 26:45Bill Maher?

  I mean, Chris Christie couldn't do it.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  No, oh, no.

• 26:48Bill Maher?

  I mean.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  Pritzker and Chris Christie, no.

• 26:51Bill Maher?

  I mean.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  They, if you see Obama, if you see Newsom, Justin Trudeau, deep. I think if you saw pictures of them 10 years ago, you wouldn't see the deep cross.

• 27:02Bill Maher?

  You think Obama does it?

• 27:04Speaker 04

  Obama does the deep cross, too.

• 27:05Bill Maher?

  Obama.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  He's signaling that he's progressive.

• 27:08Bill Maher?

  Well, but he's, but he's centrist and he's very, I, you know, I always thought he was, I mean, I'm a big fan.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  I think he may be, but I think he thinks his base or who he's talking to is not that.

• 27:21Bill Maher?

  He did get more leftist after he left office. I mean, the, the party in general did. I mean, Biden was much to the left of the Obama administration, Biden administration.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Yes, I agree. But then Clinton was, you know, I mean, when you, when they pull these clips up of these guys talking about immigration from 20 years ago, it just sounds crazy.

• 27:44Bill Maher?

  Clinton, I never saw a picture of Clinton crossing his legs because he was always getting blocked.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  He was getting blocked.

• 27:50Bill Maher?

  At the time, and the girl was blocking it.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 27:52Bill Maher?

  So I think that says something in itself.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  No, he didn't want to crush her hat by.

• 27:57Bill Maher?

  Okay. Well, I, I learned so much.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Oh, you're gonna see, Bill.

• 28:03Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 28:04Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

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• 29:05Bill Maher?

  So what's your, are you optimistic about where we are now? Or are you, I mean, it's one year into the Trump second regime. It's the beginning of the year. It's a good time to assess, maybe predict. Just, you know, take your temperature on where you feel. How do you think 2026 is going to end? I mean, I just turned 70, so it's a big milestone year for me.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Oh, wow. Congrats.

• 29:34Bill Maher?

  Congrats. I love it. When you get so old, they like congratulate you for being alive.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  And you walked here with...

• 29:40Bill Maher?

  Congratulate you.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Must have no way.

• 29:43Bill Maher?

  So, yeah, so it's, I, to me, it's a, you know, any year that ends in 6 is a big year. New decade starts. It's, you almost feel younger because now you have a zero at the end of the second.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right. But really, you're in overtime, but you thought...

• 30:02Bill Maher?

  Not quite. Not in this country.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 30:05Bill Maher?

  Russia, I would be.

• 30:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:08Bill Maher?

  That's why I'm not Russian.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  I think that if Trump, I think ultimately, you know, people care about gas prices and egg prices and, you know, stability and, you know, their paycheck and affordability and like basic stuff. You know, can you afford a house and stuff like that? And I think if... If Trump comes through with all that stuff, then I think, I think most of America will sort of be OK with it. I don't think the Democrats are going to be OK with it because they're going to sort of agitate. And I think essentially, the plan is chaos and agitation and then a sort of a don't you want this to stop?

• 30:54Speaker 04

  And most people do. And it's actually-

• 30:57Bill Maher?

  You think if the Democrats are agitating?

• 30:59Speaker 04

  I do.

• 31:00Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 31:01Speaker 04

  Well, I mean-

• 31:02Bill Maher?

  There's some agitating on the right. Come on. I mean, ICE is agitating.

• 31:06Speaker 04

  Right, but-

• 31:07Bill Maher?

  Even they're admitting it now.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  But they go to states and municipalities where they just go do their job and there is shots and bottles and whatever.

• 31:16Bill Maher?

  They do. And I always like to look from, you know, as a history major, like, what will the historians say when they write about this in 100 years? Well, first of all, a lot of shit will have happened, so it'll only get a paragraph. And that paragraph will probably begin with, because the Biden administration went so far with letting in illegal immigrants, there was a backlash that followed in the Trump and then blah, blah, blah, and all his excesses there. So everything, every action is a reaction. That's, we have to acknowledge that. But we are living in the present, OK? And in the present, I mean, I said this to Senator Kennedy on the show last week, you're

• 32:01Bill Maher?

  going to get the dog shit kicked out of you in the midterms because this is not what people voted for. Trump's down with all the people who he won back to degrees they didn't think possible when he won in 2024. I mean, he did better with minorities and Hispanics and young people. They've all went like, oh, well, you blew it. So I don't think, to me, that's not even, I mean, I would bet the house on that, that the Democrats are going to win big in the midterms.

• 32:32Speaker 04

  I think, I think what people want- Sort of micro and macro is they don't want chaos. And if there's chaos.

• 32:44Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  They'll vote to stop the chaos. And anyone who's been married will tell you like, look, I, you know, she's wrong. She's, I disagree with all this shit, but just turn the page. Like, I, I just don't want to deal with the chaos. And so I think that's kind of democratic strategy, which is that the chaos will end when we get rid of this guy or when we're in charge. I do think they're causing the chaos, but I think it's part of a strategy. And I think it's a good strategy. It's what, I think it's what's gonna win.

• 33:20Bill Maher?

  I know someone who got divorced recently and I was, as, as always with married people, shocked to hear it because married people are geniuses at hiding it until it's announced. And she said, when we stop fighting, that's when you know it's over.

• 33:41Bill Maher?

  And I thought that was really so, not that I've ever been married and I, but I certainly know that feeling like.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  No, there is.

• 33:48Bill Maher?

  When the woman stops fighting, it's like, okay, you're not even worth fighting with.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  When, it's like when the football coach stops yelling at you, that's the bad part because he's lost.

• 34:01Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  He doesn't find any potential left in you. He doesn't think you could be better player than you are. Like, when you get ignored, that's when you should worry.

• 34:09Bill Maher?

  Is that what happened in your marriage?

• 34:11Speaker 04

  No, I don't, my, my marriage is weird. I, I didn't, there wasn't, you know, the stuff you fight over in a marriage, you know, if they did the list of the top five things couples fight over, you know, money.

• 34:26Bill Maher?

  Money is number one by far.

• 34:28Speaker 04

  Not an argument, you know?

• 34:30Bill Maher?

  No, they have surveys about it.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, money, right. How to raise the children, you know?

• 34:36Bill Maher?

  That's two, that's number two.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, infidelity, you know what I mean? Like, there's all the sort of top things people fight over.

• 34:44Bill Maher?

  Lack of affection.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  Eh, could've, could've cracked my top 10.

• 34:49Bill Maher?

  No, I'm saying that's on their list.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:51Bill Maher?

  That's the, you know, from both sides.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  We didn't really have the stuff that most people have, which is peculiar, you know?

• 35:00Bill Maher?

  You didn't have any of that?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  We didn't, we never fought about money or how we're gonna raise the kids or who's cooking my meals or

• 35:12Bill Maher?

  Lack of affection.

• 35:13Speaker 04

  Anything. That, that could, we didn't fight over that either, but that could have been an issue.

• 35:18Bill Maher?

  I bet you did. You didn't say it, but like, because men and women define affection very differently.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Yes, that's true.

• 35:26Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  No, it's true. I mean, my, what I do is I do things for women.

• 35:33Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  Like, I built you this gazebo. They go, I don't care.

• 35:36Bill Maher?

  Right, they don't, right.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  Stroke my hair.

• 35:38Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  Exactly. Yeah, I know, I, I get it. It's, it's, it's a flawed relationship from Jump Street because we're speaking two different languages under the same roof, essentially.

• 35:53Bill Maher?

  I mean, usually that is the case. I mean, you can find your way out of it, thank you, Jesus, but, I mean, it's, it's, uh, it's, that is the norm. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, that whole thing. And that's a key part of it, is that a man's idea of affection is a blowjob, you know, between the 11 o'clock news and when the late night shows come on.

• 36:19Speaker 04

  Right.

• 36:20Bill Maher?

  A woman's idea of affection is, you know, three days of listening or something.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 36:26Bill Maher?

  You know, I mean, it's just, it's just crazily different.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, we are very different and I think part of the

• 36:36Speaker 04

  fix we're in from a society standpoint is trying to pretend like we're not for like the last 20 years. You know, women should have careers, go to work, and they don't need kids, they define them and we deserve...

• 36:48Bill Maher?

  We, we shouldn't say they should have careers, but they certainly can, right?

• 36:53Speaker 04

  No, they, everyone can have everything, but I feel like we're trying to talk women out of an imperative

• 36:59Bill Maher?

  You know what?

• 37:00Speaker 04

  that has not been healthy for them.

• 37:01Bill Maher?

  There was a conservative kicker.

• 37:05Bill Maher?

  Harrison Butker.

• 37:06Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:07Bill Maher?

  For the Chiefs.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:09Bill Maher?

  Who was destroyed over this. Not destroyed so he lost his job because he can still kick good.

• 37:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 37:15Bill Maher?

  And good. And I defended him. And I remember starting out saying, I have nothing in common with this guy. He's a super Christian, you know, he's all about the family and the wife and having kids and blah, blah, blah. And all he was saying was like, you know, whatever, like my people, like, hey, you know, shout out to the ladies who want to have kids. It's like, okay, that's your view. And then they just, there was some, I think it was the Espies. And people got on stage was like, everybody here should be like happy to be here, except for you. And they literally pointed him out by name in the crowd. It's that kind of thing that makes me fucking hate the, the far left assholes who do that. And their fucking bad attitude. That's just his view.

• 37:58Bill Maher?

  And, you know, a woman once said to me, that is women's liberation too. If you want to have children, if that's your goal in life, if that's what you think you were put on earth for, and you don't want to go to an office, that's liberation too. You should be able to do that without being shamed for it. And, you know, and that's just a lot of the country who thinks this way. Like, have kids, you know, you know, meet a football player and settle down. I mean, fucking Taylor Swift is always going out with these gay English guys. And then she meets a fucking man meet from America and she's happy. Okay, that's not everybody, but obviously that's some people and don't shame them.

• 38:38Speaker 04

  Well, she was going out with the electric cars and then she got the Dodge Ram. And now she's happy with the gun rack.

• 38:46Bill Maher?

  We'll be right back. That's a great, if I was doing an old fashioned show, that would have been a great place to take the commercial. Great, such a great line.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Well, thanks. And yes, I completely agree with you. And it, it drives me nuts when people, but I, it drove me nuts when during COVID, you were talking about exercise and losing weight.

• 39:07Bill Maher?

  No sugar.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  And they were, no sugar. And everyone was trying to, trying to assassinate you.

• 39:14Bill Maher?

  Crazy person.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  He's just saying diet and exercise. Why does that make him the bad guy?

• 39:20Bill Maher?

  But I also was saying that what they didn't do, shame on them, was ever have the balls to say to Americans who were dying. The things you're dying from are old age, which you can't do anything about, and obesity, which you can.

• 39:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:36Bill Maher?

  But we're too fucking scared to say to you. If Ozempic had come along a couple of years earlier, they could have been there, but we were still in the, you can be healthy at any weight insanity.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  We were in the Lizzo fat stage.

• 39:50Bill Maher?

  Lizzo looks great in her bikini. I remember seeing that headline.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:54Bill Maher?

  And you know what? Beauty's in the eye of the beholder. You can think Lizzo looks great in a bikini. I'm a little different.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  No, you cannot. Not if you drive that Ram truck. You cannot.

• 40:04Bill Maher?

  No. Some people do. But science is not in the eye of the beholder.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 40:11Bill Maher?

  From the people who are like, we're the science people. But in the science.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Well, listen, doctors traditionally have told you the same thing for the last 40 years. They'd go, quit smoking, lose weight. Now they're just quit smoking and you do you.

• 40:27Bill Maher?

  Well, now they say quit smoking and do Ozempic.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Right.

• 40:31Bill Maher?

  Suddenly, the body positivity thing. Oh, I don't remember ever. Yeah, you said it all the time. Now you don't say it because you have Ozempic. So you can actually do what I was saying all along, which is lose weight.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  Right.

• 40:46Bill Maher?

  Because the body is not listening to your nonsense. The body is following what the body follows, which is biology.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  I have an Ozempic issue that I'm curious.

• 40:56Bill Maher?

  Oh, I got many.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  If you agree with it or not. I have a problem with it in that. And most people go, well, so what? You know, you lose the weight, it's important. Oprah tells you, you know, it's a genetic thing and you gotta do it. You gotta listen. Why do we listen to Oprah? But all right, she's gonna tell you, whatever. I have a problem that's not about weight. It's more about discipline. I believe that an important part of life is discipline. And everybody I know who's successful has discipline. They. And everyone historically who's ever been successful, they get up, they do their homework, they show up.

• 41:38Bill Maher?

  There are exceptions and they're called musicians.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 41:42Bill Maher?

  Musicians do not need discipline.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  They don't, but listen.

• 41:46Bill Maher?

  They don't even have to go on stage nearly at the hour that they said they were going to.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  That is...

• 41:53Bill Maher?

  And people still put up with it. They can show up three hours fucking late because they were watching a football game that they did not want to miss.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  Yes, Axl Rose can show up that late. That is true.

• 42:06Bill Maher?

  He's hardly the only one.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Right. No, that is, that is true, but at some point, they sat in their basement and practiced the guitar for 11 hours a day.

• 42:18Bill Maher?

  Yeah, they did.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  And they had that, and now they can do it drunk and late, but they can still...

• 42:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  There was a discipline. And to me, discipline is super important in life. It really helps. It helps kids, it helps adults. It's, it's, everything good out of life sort of comes from delayed gratification and discipline. And diet and exercise is really the daily discipline reminder. If you really think about, you know, if you think about, I'm climbing Mount Everest. All right, but that's a once in a lifetime discipline, you know, or I'm gonna get my pilot's license or some other thing. That's a discipline. Or there's boot camp in the Marines. But diet, every single day you wake up and you go, God, I'd love some Pop-Tarts.

• 43:08Speaker 04

  And then a little voice in your head goes, no, no, no, no, no, don't do it, don't do it. You know what I mean? And that's you exercising discipline and...

• 43:18Bill Maher?

  Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house?

• 43:20Speaker 04

  No, I would never, I wouldn't bring them in the house, but I will tell you this, and one more reason to hate...

• 43:26Bill Maher?

  Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house? I want answers to these questions, goddammit! Just the fruity ones, never the chocolate.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  These are the hard-hitting questions that you get on this show.

• 43:35Bill Maher?

  I'll tell you, Bill...

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house?

• 43:38Bill Maher?

  Not like you're ever gonna have any fucking kids, but one more reason not to have kids is Pop-Tarts will be in the house.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  And when you have fucking kids, you open the pantry and you see a line of Pop-Tarts and breakfast cereals and cookies and smores and you just go, oh my god. And then you open the fridge and it's all the pizzas and Italian takeout and pasta and all the carbs and all the shit you're not supposed to eat. Fruity, it's all there.

• 44:08Bill Maher?

  I had fruity pebbles in my pantry once.

• 44:11Speaker 04

  Well, that's not, that's not the kids.

• 44:13Bill Maher?

  That was my girlfriend.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, yes, that's the kids in the pot, that's not, okay. So, I open, you open your, you open the fridge at night and you'll find a whole pizza in there that they ate, you know, half of, and then you go.

• 44:30Bill Maher?

  But they can get away with it because they're.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  No, they can, but you're there. And you had a drink and you're starting to look at those Pop-Tarts in a real loving way. And then a point in your brain kicks in and goes, no, no, don't, don't do it.

• 44:46Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Don't do it. And that's the same thing that says, do another 10 minutes on the treadmill. Or you're working on, you're doing the monologue for your show and you're tired and you want to watch TV, but no, no, no, no, let's give it a little more time. You got a book, there's a date, it's gotta be published.

• 45:05Bill Maher?

  Never phoned in one minute, one minute. I've never phoned in one minute of Politically Incorrect, Real Time, 33 Years on TV, that you can't get me on.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  No, I absolutely, I watch and I can tell.

• 45:19Bill Maher?

  I do, you know, yes, you're right, mostly, but what I usually tell myself in those moments is, I know you want to like give in to the, you know, short term, save it for when you really need it. Because sometimes you do really need it. Sometimes you have to give in. And it is the right thing to do to have the Pop-Tart.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  Right, right, said it. Sometimes it's the right thing to have the Pop-Tart.

• 45:46Bill Maher?

  Well, what I'm saying is, the diet is an everyday sort of exercise. It's, it's graft.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  It's always on top of you. And it never goes away. And you don't know how many times a day you discipline yourself to go. I mean, how many, I can't tell you how many. I've worked with young people, you know, and, and, and I'm there during the day. And they go, we're going to the habit or going to In-N-Out Burger. We're doing a lunch run. You want anything, boss? And I go, fuck, yes, I do. That's what my brain thinks. Like, I want a fucking double double and fries smothered shit. And I go, no, no, I'm, I'm, I'm good.

• 46:26Bill Maher?

  I'm in a restaurant. The waiter says, would you like a drink to start?

• 46:30Speaker 04

  Right. Yeah, I'd like it.

• 46:32Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 46:32Speaker 04

  But I'm not going to order it.

• 46:34Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  Because I don't drink except here. And then dessert, me too. That's why I'd appreciate not taking three years off. By the way, because I need a pop. But, no, and then dessert. We got key lime pie. And you're like, ah, but you know. So I think Ozempic is great for weight loss, but bad for discipline.

• 46:55Bill Maher?

  You're so right. I've said, I've made the same point as much as I can. And boy, of all the third rails you can touch in America. This is the one that they just cannot accept. You cannot be honest about obesity. And it's like, I'm always, I'm, first of all, I never do like the cheap jokes about it. And believe me, I'm, those jokes are submitted. I could. I'm just trying to state the facts and, and say it outright. And I remember, you know, James Corden, you remember that? When he went after me? And you probably defended me. You know, you have been, before I get too stoned to forget to mention this. You've been so supportive of our little enterprise here.

• 47:39Bill Maher?

  And we appreciate it so much.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  Well, you're telling the truth and you're being.

• 47:44Bill Maher?

  Yeah, as are you. I mean, it's just, it's just, but it's very appreciated because, you know, it's so hard to not be on one of the extremes.

• 47:54Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:55Bill Maher?

  To not have a team. I mean, it just really sucks. And especially in this town. Where everyone's on one team and it's not. I mean, as I always say to my woke friends, we voted for the same person. You're just why she lost.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 48:10Bill Maher?

  And they do not like that.

• 48:12Speaker 04

  Right.

• 48:13Bill Maher?

  They are very exclusionary.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 48:16Bill Maher?

  You know, they really just don't want to breathe the same air. If you're not exactly with the group think.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  Yes, which is.

• 48:25Bill Maher?

  While they're not that bright.

• 48:27Speaker 04

  I know, and it's such, it's sort of, it's sort of, it's counterintuitive to me. Because I always feel like you should be looking for things you agree on. Not looking for things you disagree on. And it just makes life so much easier and so much better. And it's almost like saying, look, um, we'd like to go out to dinner. Let's not try to figure out what food you hate and I love. Let's try to figure out the food we both love and let's go enjoy ourselves. And it's pretty easy to do because if you think about most people. Who you may disagree with or maybe I disagree with. It's not, it's not 10 out of 10 things. It's, we agree on eight out of 10 things.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  And maybe we have a disagreement about two out of 10 things.

• 49:15Bill Maher?

  No.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  People say to me all the time, oh, you're, you know, Republican and right leaning. I go, listen, I don't own a gun. I'm not religious at all. I'm for abortion and pot smoking and everything. How, how right can I be?

• 49:31Bill Maher?

  You've put your finger on the thing. That makes me so incensed about the woke and the far left. Which is this, that they, they want to characterize people. You, me, Barry Weiss. You know, who's a lesbian and Jewish. Things that used to like be our, we don't, we need no further credentials.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:52Bill Maher?

  To let you know that we are certainly not conservatives. We're not right wingers. We're not whatever you think. And yet it's never enough of them. It's never enough that we're, we're just not willing to go along with your insanity. That doesn't make us conservatives.

• 50:10Speaker 04

  Right. No, I agree, I agree. Barry's great and, and there's many people that way. And again.

• 50:20Speaker 04

  It's interesting because they feel compelled to put you somewhere. And if you don't conform and it doesn't work, yes, then they have they have an issue with it, but I think. Well, first off, here's the thing. Imagine if you had to conform. I mean, imagine if COVID came around and you just had to go in.

• 50:45Bill Maher?

  I did.

• 50:46Speaker 04

  All in on all of it.

• 50:47Bill Maher?

  I did have to conform. I didn't want the vaccine at all. Not that I'm against all vaccines, just I didn't think I needed that one. But I had to have it. I couldn't have continued my life.

• 50:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 51:00Bill Maher?

  They wouldn't have let me do the show and I had to do it here. I did it in this room.

• 51:04Speaker 04

  Well, that's basically what I'm saying. Let's talk about the vaccine. The vaccine came around and COVID came around. And I have twins and at the time, boy, girl with the fucking Pop-Tarts. God damn it. And they were like 14, you know, and.

• 51:23Bill Maher?

  14?

• 51:24Speaker 04

  There were 14 at the time of COVID. And I had at the time elderly parents. And so people would come to me and they'd go, what about the vaccine? And I would go, well, my elderly mom and my elderly dad should get the vaccine. And my kids shouldn't get the vaccine. And they go, so you're against vaccines? And it's like, can we have a little fucking nuance here, you idiots?

• 51:49Bill Maher?

  That is such a perfect microcosm of reasonableness to me. Right. Yes, 14 and 94 are different.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 51:58Bill Maher?

  And if you don't see that, you are not the science people.

• 52:02Speaker 04

  No, you're actually anti-science because my 14 year olds don't need it at all.

• 52:07Bill Maher?

  Not at all.

• 52:08Speaker 04

  Because they're healthy, thin and active. And my elderly parents do. And so that's where I come down on this. Why is that an issue? I don't even get why that's even a thing. Why would you even say anything about it?

• 52:21Bill Maher?

  No, it's such a, it's like the perfect example to prove why we, you know, I say this like we should. Like we're gonna do anything I say we should, but we should come to the middle. Where there is always to literally every problem that seems so intractable. There really is some pretty. Easy if people would just stop being so extreme. Middle ground, grand bargain. We used to have grand bargains in this country. Where they would, each side would come to the table. And they would understand, we're not gonna get everything. You know, we're gonna get Greenland, but we're not gonna actually own it with the deed.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 53:00Bill Maher?

  Come on. I mean, look, is he the first guy to ever suggest? We should have Greenland? No, he's not. I mean, so there's that side, like, and then my always bitch about the media is like, you never read the whole story in either organ. You have to read something from both sides to get the full story.

• 53:19Speaker 04

  Right.

• 53:20Bill Maher?

  So like, I never read in the, or read in the leftist press that, no, he's not the first president we've even suggested. Like, presidents have thought about Greenland before.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 53:30Bill Maher?

  Okay, but then, of course, it's insane to say we're gonna take it by force. That was crazy. But, you know, Greenland, is it the craziest idea anybody has ever had? No. And could it be super valuable? Yes. Is it worth, like, making the whole world hate us? No. You know, again, there's always just a middle ground, even on something like Greenland, which, by the way, before he came along, I'd never been thinking about.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  Now, I agree, he does.

• 54:05Bill Maher?

  But maybe we should have. Maybe we should have. That's also should be on the table. Maybe we should have.

• 54:11Speaker 04

  I, I agree. I don't, you know, I don't know if there's a, you know, I, I don't, you know, Trump has, well, there's, he has like, he has bunches of different ideas. He has, you know, let's make Canada the 51st state, but I think he's just talking. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know that he really thinks that. Then he has stuff like, "Let's move the embassy from Tel Aviv to, you know, wherever in Israel."

• 54:42Bill Maher?

  Jerusalem.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Jerusalem.

• 54:43Bill Maher?

  Which every president had on his desk. They just pocket vetoed it for administration after administration. It always should have happened, and he did it.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 54:53Bill Maher?

  I make no apologies for giving him complete credit for doing the right thing that everybody said they were gonna do, and then they didn't have the balls to do.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  But the left said, "The Middle East is gonna be on fire if you do it."

• 55:04Bill Maher?

  Nothing happens.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  And then he did it, and nothing happens. Right.

• 55:06Bill Maher?

  It's been the Jewish capital since 1000 AD, 1000 BC.

• 55:12Speaker 04

  Right. So there's the stuff he does do that everyone says is never gonna work, but it does. And then there's the stuff he doesn't do that he probably never was gonna do. But most interestingly enough, I guess with Trump, is he brings up a lot of stuff where you go, "I never thought of that. I never thought about Greenland."

• 55:31Bill Maher?

  I always call him, "President, I've got an idea."

• 55:34Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 55:35Bill Maher?

  There's just not anything he surveys that he doesn't think he can fix, whether it's the ballroom, the lack of at the White House, which by the way, I don't give a shit about either way. Or the Kennedy Center, or NATO, or Greenland, or, you know, credit card rates are too high.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  No, but he does do a thing, like sometimes where he goes, "Why don't we take Palestine and make it into a golf resort and have beautiful, it'll be like Miami Beach," you know? And I go, you know, everyone's first impulse is, "This is outrageous." And then the next one is like, "I don't know, maybe there's something there."

• 56:13Bill Maher?

  You know, of course, he's always over the top, the way he describes anything. But the idea that Gaza could have always been Abu Dhabi, which is not a golf resort, but which is a very successful, uh, western, shall we say, influenced culture, still a Middle Eastern country, obviously, that is rich and doing well, and the citizens are prospering. Other people have said that for decades. Gaza could have been that. Israel gave it back.

• 56:50Bill Maher?

  Gave it back. It wasn't a negotiation. It was like, okay, you know what? You take it. And what did they do? They imported missiles from Iran and built tunnels and did nothing but try to destroy Israel. That's what they did with their independence.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 57:04Bill Maher?

  That is not the fault of Zionists or anybody else in the world but them.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 57:09Bill Maher?

  That's what they did from 2005 when they had it all to their own. They could have made it Abu Dhabi. No, it shouldn't be Miami Beach either. Look, Miami Beach itself is too much for me. I once thought about moving to Miami Beach when the pollution here got so bad I couldn't see the sun for a week. But I pulled back.

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• 58:46Bill Maher?

  Miami is crazy.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  I get it. They created what they're living in and...

• 58:55Speaker 04

  I don't know why that's so controversial. You know, I don't know why we are so energized with that.

• 59:03Bill Maher?

  I have a list of like thirty important things that Trump has done in the first year that I am against and that I do not like. But his idea, his just sort of macro, thirty thousand feet idea, that Western civilization is the civilization we should defend, and that it is under attack, and that Israel is the front line in that fight, is right.

• 59:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 59:34Bill Maher?

  And I am aligned with that point of view. Does he carry it out the way I would like? No, he carries nothing out the way I would like. But I can't deny that that's the truth, too. Western civilization, I believe in it.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 59:50Bill Maher?

  The elements of it that we, that everyone in this country, not everyone, but lots of people, just take for granted your free speech and your right to wear what you want and be who you want and love who you want. This is not everywhere in the world. And this civilization that you seem to want to promote to this status of being the downtrodden people who deserve our most heartfelt sympathy, well, that's also the civilization that is most oppressive to women and gay people and other people that are sort of important to your coalition, I thought.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  Well, I think of it this way, which is, America is constantly comparing itself to some civilization that never existed. Some utopian... You know, civilization and it's really, I mean, it's really this because you know, it's like, as, as, as, you know, we invented slavery, we, we were the only country in the world that ever in, uh, engaged in this and stuff and it's like-

• 1:01:00Bill Maher?

  I gotta stop you because there are people listening to this, I hope, not many because we have a very smart audience, um, who heard you say sarcastically, "We invented slavery."

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:01:11Bill Maher?

  And they went, "Yeah, we did."

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Bill Maher?

  Because there are lots of people who think that.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:01:15Bill Maher?

  But we didn't.

• 1:01:16Speaker 04

  Okay, so every nation and every civilization-

• 1:01:19Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  -had slaves and we were probably late to the slave-

• 1:01:23Bill Maher?

  Wasn't even really usually about race because they did it with people because travel was so difficult, who lived near them.

• 1:01:32Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:01:33Bill Maher?

  Who looked like them.

• 1:01:34Speaker 04

  Everybody's involved with this and, and we had a war to stop it. And so, all we can do is sort of compare ourselves to civilizations that either exist now or before. So it's almost like saying, you know, it's like saying, "Oh, you know, the Seattle Seahawks, uh, 13 and 3 or 14 and 3 or whatever, bit, big whoop. What about this team that never existed that went 17 and 0 for the last thousand years and won every Super Bowl?" It's like, no team has done that. You can compare yourself to other teams in the league-

• 1:02:11Bill Maher?

  Didn't the Dolphins go 17 and 0 in-

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  They went, they went, I think, 14 and 0 or something. Maybe it was before the 17-game season.

• 1:02:19Bill Maher?

  Oh, it was definitely-

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  Or maybe with the playoffs.

• 1:02:21Bill Maher?

  I think it was a 14-game season.

• 1:02:23Speaker 04

  14-game season, then playoffs and whatever, yes. One team ran the table one time-

• 1:02:29Bill Maher?

  I'm just saying, don't shit on Don Shula, Elvis Presley or Pop-Tarts.

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  Or Larry Zonka.

• 1:02:35Bill Maher?

  When you're here.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  Right, never. But- One team did it once. It's been six years. So here's what I'm saying. We don't compare ourselves to a team that never existed, that never lost the Super Bowl and never lost a game. We have to compare ourselves to other teams in the league.

• 1:02:52Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  And we are essentially

• 1:02:55Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  The Pittsburgh Steelers, that's done a lot of winning and had won a bunch of Super Bowls, or maybe the 49ers, or whatever it is. And then, other places are the Cleveland Browns. And they've never won a Super Bowl, and they don't have they don't have more than 500 type seasons. There are always deficits. But the whole point is, is why are we comparing ourselves to teams that never existed?

• 1:03:19Bill Maher?

  Or to put it another way, have we not lived up to our ideals? Of course we have not. We're humans, and compromises have to be made. But, the ideals that everybody around the world, including those who shit on us, want us to live up to? We created.

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:03:39Bill Maher?

  We created those ideals. Could we get a little credit? For trial by jury? A little credit for equal rights for minorities? A leak, you know, freedom of the press? These things weren't, like, given to us when they were, you know, in 2001, throwing the apes, throwing the bone up in the air. They had to be one hard, hard-winning fights. Hard battles that we had to undertake to get to these places. People didn't just come along.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  There's also kind of a bottom line, which is, if we're as whatevers, you guys all say we are, why is everyone trying to get here? And if we're so oppressive to minorities, and people of color, and people who look different than us, why are they the number one group who's trying to get into this country? You do the math. I mean, there's a

• 1:04:34Bill Maher?

  There's a lack of perspective. That's my complaint, is just, it's never that, you know, we, I'm not saying, "You don't study slavery." Of course. Even when I was a kid, we studied slavery, and we were told it was bad. Did we obsess about it? No, maybe we should have a little more, but I mean, I was in eighth grade history class, I remember this, with a conservative teacher, I remember this guy. I remember my parents didn't especially like him. They thought he was, and he was, but of course, in those days, they didn't put that out very much in the classroom. But even as an eighth grade kid, I could kind of read between the lines. I remember there was a demonstration about the Vietnam War,

• 1:05:18Bill Maher?

  and he kind of let us know, he took a dim view of that. Okay, fine, but we didn't get too political. But even with this guy, I got it. Slavery bad.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  I saw Roots with my mom in North Hollywood in her

• 1:05:33Bill Maher?

  Wait, I thought your mom was never there. And now you watch Roots with her?

• 1:05:38Speaker 04

  I didn't watch Roots with my mom. Her mom, she never left the house, so she was always there. She just didn't have basic cable.

• 1:05:46Bill Maher?

  Wait a second, Adam, girl, I feel like I have just been taken in by a sob story, and now you tell me, you let it slip because you're drunk,

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 1:05:55Bill Maher?

  That you eat Pop-Tarts and you watched Roots with your mom?

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 1:06:02Bill Maher?

  Tell me about it. Tell me about that experience.

• 1:06:05Speaker 04

  I think Alex Haley, probably a seven-part series?

• 1:06:10Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  It's an odd number series.

• 1:06:12Bill Maher?

  I remember it so vividly, I was in college. It certainly got on everybody's radar. It was January, it was, I remember it aired in January when everyone was inside. Nobody was out, it was freezing cold. And there it was, this groundbreaking, and it was great. And I remember it had in it, an actor who was one of my favorite actors because he was the star of Combat. He later lost-

• 1:06:39Speaker 04

  Oh, LeVar Burton?

• 1:06:41Bill Maher?

  No, no. No-

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  That's a joke.

• 1:06:44Bill Maher?

  LeVar Burton- Vic Morrow. Vic Morrow.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:06:49Bill Maher?

  Who was the star of Combat.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:06:51Bill Maher?

  The greatest show ever, which Steven Spielberg made into the greatest movie ever.

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  Cheaps.

• 1:06:57Bill Maher?

  Called Saving Private Ryan, the greatest combat episode ever.

• 1:07:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:07:01Bill Maher?

  But Vic Morrow, unfortunately, later lost his head filming a movie, literally.

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  That was the craziest thing with the helicopter crash. And holding those two kids.

• 1:07:12Bill Maher?

  Well, it wasn't a crash, the blade cut his head off.

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, no, I mean, the helicopter crashed and the blade cut his head off. It was also holding two kids.

• 1:07:24Bill Maher?

  Children.

• 1:07:24Speaker 04

  Two.

• 1:07:25Bill Maher?

  But they survived, right?

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:07:27Bill Maher?

  No?

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:07:28Bill Maher?

  They died too?

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  You think it's possible for him to hold two four-year-olds and have a helicopter blade go across his chest?

• 1:07:36Bill Maher?

  Anyway, let's get back to Roots.

• 1:07:38Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 1:07:39Bill Maher?

  A subject you're trying to avoid because it exposes your lie about your bad childhood.

• 1:07:44Speaker 04

  I watched it with my mom and the whole time she just looked at me and she went, "Do you see how bad we are? Do you see what happens? Do you see who we are?"

• 1:07:52Bill Maher?

  I see a parent caring for you.

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  Yes, you do.

• 1:07:54Bill Maher?

  There. That's what I see, a parent caring. I ask and trying to teach you a lesson by watching Roots with you.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  The lesson was learned.

• 1:08:03Bill Maher?

  What was it?

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  "We are evil. We have a horrible history and this is all our fault." And that's the message. It stuck with me, but I learned it as you learned it. This thing where it's like they're trying to erase history. It's like, I, what do you mean? I'm totally aware of this. I feel like everyone is aware of it. And I don't feel like there's anyone who can escape it at this, at this point.

• 1:08:29Bill Maher?

  I'm not sure that all the time in Mississippi, they were teaching that Lincoln's birthday was a great thing.

• 1:08:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:37Bill Maher?

  I'm not sure about that. And, and they did call it, uh, they did not call it the Civil War. They called, called it the War of Northern Aggression.

• 1:08:47Speaker 04

  In Mississippi?

• 1:08:48Bill Maher?

  I believe in the South.

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  On the South?

• 1:08:50Bill Maher?

  There was, you can, you know, please, go to the stacks, look at the microfiche. Am I behind the times on this?

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:08:57Bill Maher?

  No, no, I was looking at microfiche earlier. Today. Yeah, I pulled my Stutz Bear Cat into the library and I got my raccoon coat out and I said, "Do you know what?"

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  Oh, it was after that.

• 1:09:10Bill Maher?

  I said, "22 skidoo to the library."

• 1:09:12Speaker 04

  No, no, no. We're talking about the 1980s.

• 1:09:14Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:09:15Speaker 04

  But, yeah, uh, but I think you will find that, that in the southern states, um, there is a different view of it. But in general, we, we acknowledge it. And what I was trying to tell, for example, Marshawn Lynch was here originally and I don't feel like he, um, really had been.

• 1:09:38Bill Maher?

  apprised of the idea that slavery had occurred all over the world throughout history. You know, and I tried to make the case that humans are not good people. It's just not whites that are not good people. Humans are not good people.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  No, I mean, obviously.

• 1:09:54Bill Maher?

  They all basically act the same.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Africans were very involved with the slave trades.

• 1:09:59Bill Maher?

  Very involved.

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  Right, and so we have a narrative, and the narrative is a one that paints a kind of a picture that is not totally accurate. And by the way, if you were, if I was Marshawn Lynch, and this is kind of my problem, I guess, with the media, which is if somebody said to me, "Look, cops shoot black people and they shoot white people, and they sort of equal opportunity offenders," then I would go, "Okay." But if the narrative is black people have a target on their back, and cops are gunning for them, and they're not welcome in this society, and there's systemic racism, then

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  that would be very agitating to a black person, I would assume.

• 1:10:47Bill Maher?

  It's also what I call a zombie lie.

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:10:50Bill Maher?

  Was it true? Of course it was true. Could you find it true in pockets of America today? Possibly.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  What percentage of cop shootings or cop anythings, fatalities or whatever, would go away if the person just 100% complied with whatever the orders were? Roll the window down, or hands on the wheel, like whatever, whatever people think is demeaning or beyond the scope of his ability, I contend they would all go away.

• 1:11:26Bill Maher?

  I will give you that point.

• 1:11:27Speaker 04

  Of almost every bad cop killing that we hate, that if the person, white or black, because we've seen white now in Minneapolis, if the person just went...

• 1:11:40Speaker 04

  Whatever you need.

• 1:11:41Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:11:41Speaker 04

  I'll do it. It would end tomorrow.

• 1:11:43Bill Maher?

  I will give you that point.

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  And there could still be bad cop shootings.

• 1:11:47Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:11:47Speaker 04

  But.

• 1:11:48Bill Maher?

  But I'm gonna give you that point. Give me this point.

• 1:11:51Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:11:51Bill Maher?

  Okay, here's the deal. Here's our grand bargain.

• 1:11:53Speaker 04

  Our grand bargain.

• 1:11:54Bill Maher?

  I'll give you that bargain. That point. You, yes, if you don't fuck with the cops, you will probably not get shot. Also, the cops have to have different training. So that job one isn't, if you don't respect me to the utmost degree, I get to fucking shoot you. A lot of them just have a bad attitude. That's what we saw with the one this last week in Minneapolis. This Alex Pretti guy. Okay, what he did basically was not conform to doing what he used, exactly what you, and yes, you should, but also it can't be a means for an execution.

• 1:12:38Bill Maher?

  The cops are, it attracts too many people, that job, who want to be bullies, give people a badge, it's a license to be an asshole. Now, some of that is gonna have to get in. That's just the job, okay?

• 1:12:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:12:53Bill Maher?

  But you could have training that tries to ameliorate that issue, that problem, that if you just don't do exactly what I say, I have the right to fucking kill you. That's gotta go away. The sign on the door says to protect and serve, that refers to us. Us, not you.

• 1:13:12Speaker 04

  I agree, I agree. But here's where I think.

• 1:13:14Bill Maher?

  Pop tart.

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  Pop tart. Here's where I think you may be wrong.

• 1:13:18Bill Maher?

  Not that we're too drunk.

• 1:13:20Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:13:20Bill Maher?

  Or just like ranting. That's not what this show is. Two fucking guys at the corner of the bar just ranting at each other. That's not us.

• 1:13:29Speaker 04

  Cross my legs like a streaker.

• 1:13:30Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I don't know who makes these rumors up.

• 1:13:34Speaker 04

  I think there's a problem, and the problem is human nature. I don't know about training 23-year-olds. If you have a gun and it's strapped to your hip, and some guy's calling you a pussy cocksucker for the last two hours and spitting in your face, and you have a gun strapped to your hip, and you played a little football in junior college, I don't know a human being. I didn't go to high school, the guy wouldn't shoot you.

• 1:14:00Bill Maher?

  So true.

• 1:14:00Speaker 04

  So, we're creating something that's unrealistic. They're going, you're saying to every asshole I went to high school with, here's a gun.

• 1:14:09Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:14:09Speaker 04

  Now, I'm gonna stand in front of you and call you a fucking pussy and spit at you.

• 1:14:14Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:14:14Speaker 04

  But don't use that gun. Don't ever use that gun. At some point, I might start pushing you, but don't use the gun. But only if you see me reaching for something that might be a gun, then you can use that gun. It's an impossibility to not do it. I've said this to people a million times. Don't look at cops as cops. Look at them as dudes with guns. And you wouldn't go up to a dude with a gun and start calling him a pussy and getting in his face and saying, "This old lady's snatch, stunk." He's got a gun. Just treat it like he has a gun.

• 1:14:48Bill Maher?

  That's so brilliant. Really, that dudes with, cops are dudes with guns. That's so brilliant.

• 1:14:54Speaker 04

  That's all they are. And they may have badges, and they may have hats, but for that millisecond, they're dudes with guns. And act accordingly. And don't walk toward them screaming, "Shoot me," or "Fuck you," or "I dare you." They're dudes with guns.

• 1:15:09Bill Maher?

  You know what it reminds me of? Many is the time, well, a few times, I went out to a strip club with some guy who'd never been there before, and it like, they're sal-, the froth is coming out of their mouth. They think they're gonna get blown in the champagne room.

• 1:15:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:22Bill Maher?

  And my advice is always, just pretend this is a regular bar.

• 1:15:26Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:27Bill Maher?

  Just pretend it's a regular bar. And then, if a hot chick comes up and starts talking to you, think how happy.

• 1:15:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:35Bill Maher?

  Okay, that's happening. Okay, you're not gonna get blown in the champagne room. Or you shouldn't.

• 1:15:42Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:43Bill Maher?

  If you are, we're in the wrong kinda strip club. It's just not, it's not gonna be good for anybody. Just, just be happy for what this is.

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:53Bill Maher?

  And not have these expectations.

• 1:15:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:15:57Bill Maher?

  So, let's go to the strip club.

• 1:15:58Speaker 04

  I agree. Where's my gun?

• 1:16:02Bill Maher?

  So you don't have a gun, but you would go to a strip club?

• 1:16:04Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:16:05Bill Maher?

  You're single now?

• 1:16:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, no, I have a girlfriend.

• 1:16:09Bill Maher?

  How long?

• 1:16:10Speaker 04

  She's like five foot eight. I don't know, why do you care how long she was? Is she a marlin?

• 1:16:21Bill Maher?

  Okay, Groucho, very good.

• 1:16:23Speaker 04

  Groucho, how dare you demean me?

• 1:16:26Bill Maher?

  Oh, no.

• 1:16:27Speaker 04

  No, Groucho said she is.

• 1:16:28Bill Maher?

  Genius, that was like a Marx Brothers.

• 1:16:30Speaker 04

  That was a Marx Brothers. Yeah, I've never, I don't know that it's even a joke, how long? But, yeah, because if you say, how long have you been going out? We don't get it, but you just said, how long? That's why it triggered me.

• 1:16:42Bill Maher?

  It's perfect, it should be a classic Marx Brothers or something from that era. It's a joke that somebody should have written in 19.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  I'm sure some vaudeville guy.

• 1:16:53Bill Maher?

  I would think I would have been aware if they did. Sometimes.

• 1:16:57Speaker 04

  How long is a brand new joke?

• 1:16:59Bill Maher?

  Well, they just found a letter that was mailed in 1922 that got there. You know, sometimes a diamond just does stay in the rough.

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  All right, I will, I will take full credit for the.

• 1:17:10Bill Maher?

  So how long have it been going out with this alleged girlfriend?

• 1:17:14Speaker 04

  Three years.

• 1:17:15Bill Maher?

  I hear she's from Canada, which is what people say when they want to think you have a girlfriend, but you really don't.

• 1:17:21Speaker 04

  No, she's from here, yeah.

• 1:17:22Bill Maher?

  So, so this was going on during your divorce?

• 1:17:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, during the divorce, yes, yeah.

• 1:17:29Bill Maher?

  Wow, that's a, that's a patient woman who's, because usually women are turned off by a guy going through a divorce.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  That's why, yeah, no, I, I, I agree. And, and she's a saint that way. And, you know, divorce is like, you know, it's, it's really, divorce is kind of an interesting.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  Metaphor because it sort of ties into all the Somali fraud and everything else, which is like. And here's wild.

• 1:18:00Bill Maher?

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 1:18:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:18:01Bill Maher?

  Well. We got, we got the, I missed the recap on this streaming show. How did we get to Somali fraud?

• 1:18:10Speaker 04

  I'll bring it home.

• 1:18:11Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:18:11Speaker 04

  For you, which is the laws in California about divorce. Entice people to do the wrong thing and entice them to be bad and immoral and abuse the system.

• 1:18:27Bill Maher?

  What is the wrong thing? What is the abuse?

• 1:18:29Speaker 04

  Well, if you say, look, um, I'll, I'll give you, I'll give you an example. Uh, child support. So they go, look, here are the laws in, in, in California for child support. You have to pay some exorbitant amount for child support, you know, in my case, and it was like nineteen thousand dollars a month. Like my fucking mom ever spent.

• 1:18:51Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 1:18:51Speaker 04

  Nineteen dollars my entire life, you know, sitting there watching Roots, eating Pop-Tarts.

• 1:18:56Bill Maher?

  It's a lot of fruity pub.

• 1:18:57Speaker 04

  Black and white, seeing it TV. Like, so first off, the fact that it takes nineteen grand a month to raise kids is, is insane. There should be just a set amount, you know, it's three grand, it's twenty five hundred.

• 1:19:08Bill Maher?

  It's only because you're rich.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  Right. It's only because I'm rich. That's fine. But you pay nineteen thousand bucks a month for child support, right? And then what happens is, is, oh, one of the kids wants to fly out and look at colleges in Arizona or Seattle or something like that. And they go, who's paying for the tickets? And you go, well, take it out of the nineteen. And they go, no, that's not covered by the nineteen. And you go, I don't get it. It's child support.

• 1:19:36Bill Maher?

  What, what is covered by the nineteen? I mean.

• 1:19:38Speaker 04

  Uh, like dental.

• 1:19:41Bill Maher?

  Every month?

• 1:19:41Speaker 04

  Uh, it's literally.

• 1:19:43Bill Maher?

  Every month you have dental?

• 1:19:44Speaker 04

  No, what I'm saying is, is you go, oh, your daughter wants to go to a prom and she wants to buy a prom dress. So we're going to split the price of the prom dress? And you go, no, take it out of the nineteen. They go, that's not covered by the nineteen.

• 1:19:56Bill Maher?

  I'm asking what is?

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  I, you have food, shelter.

• 1:20:01Bill Maher?

  I don't think I spend nineteen thousand dollars on food.

• 1:20:03Speaker 04

  That's the whole, that's the whole point. Well, you're on Ozempic, so.

• 1:20:08Bill Maher?

  No, I'm not.

• 1:20:09Speaker 04

  Well, that's what I heard, Bill. You're pretty high. The point is-

• 1:20:13Bill Maher?

  Pretty high, that's undeniable.

• 1:20:16Speaker 04

  Alright, the point is, I'm talking about the system, right? Alright, so what's left over on the night, after the month with the 19, goes into your ex-wife's pocket, or the other person's pocket. So, we created a system where I pay in 19, it doesn't cover the prom dress, or the flight to Arizona to look at colleges, and if there's anything left over at the end, I don't get it back. It goes to your ex-wife. That's a fucked up system, that's incentivizing them to spend less on the kids, because it goes into their pocket. So, California has tons of fucking rules that incentivize women

• 1:21:00Speaker 04

  to be immoral and do the wrong thing, morally. Now, you go to Minnesota and Somalis, there's a whole bunch of systems that go, "Look, how's your kid doing? He's fine. Do you think he's on the spectrum? I don't know. Sometimes he closes his eyes when I talk." That's good. He can get $2,400 a month. And you go, "What? Because he closes his eyes?" Believe me, he's on the spectrum. Now go get your $2,400 a month. We incentivize people to do the wrong fucking thing in this country. And this country is not filled with bad people, and it's not filled with criminals, it's filled with weak people.

• 1:21:42Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:21:43Speaker 04

  Who will do whatever they need to do. I tell people all the time, everybody, almost everyone I know, if they find a wallet on the ground, and it's got an ID in it, and it's got cash in it, and it's got the guy's kid's pictures in it, they will return it. They'll do the right thing. If you find cash on the ground, you take it, you put it in your pocket, and you keep walking. You don't turn it into the lost and found. You can't leave cash on the fucking ground. That's what we're doing with all these centers, and kids lunches, and kids First Step Forward, and all these- of course, there's $24 billion out the window with homelessness. We've incentivized people to do stupid-

• 1:22:29Speaker 04

  all these NGOs, and nonprofits, and groups that are advocates for-

• 1:22:34Speaker 04

  They're going to do this because they're human. And they're going to do the wrong thing, just like people do in divorce.

• 1:22:41Bill Maher?

  And it starts with the stupid idea, again, the left going way too far, missing their stop on the subway and falling asleep on the train and waking up in Canarsie. With the idea that we need to normalize homelessness. Defend it. Defend it like it's a marginalized group.

• 1:23:04Speaker 04

  They're unhoused. There are unhoused neighbors.

• 1:23:06Bill Maher?

  They are unhoused, and we should do something about it. But the answer among liberals used to be, get them under a roof. Whatever it takes, as opposed to what the woke say, which is like, how dare you disturb this protected.

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  They're like majestic creatures in the wild. They're like panda bears or something. Just stand back, give them some bamboo, let them breathe. Well, here's a point that I said on the first day when the fires hit Malibu. I lived in Malibu, I live in Malibu. But I was evacuated and I went to a hotel room.

• 1:23:46Bill Maher?

  This is the one a year ago, the fire, the big fire.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  This is the big fire, yes. No, it's the one that took down Chicago in 1911.

• 1:23:54Bill Maher?

  Do you know that I was taping here with Matt Gaetz?

• 1:23:59Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:23:59Bill Maher?

  Who flew, who came up from San Diego, drove through a fire to get here. And we taped right until they told us to evacuate.

• 1:24:08Speaker 04

  Really, here?

• 1:24:09Bill Maher?

  And he was charging his car in my garage. And the second, I mean, we taped right up into the moment. They said, you have to go now.

• 1:24:19Speaker 04

  Matt Gaetz drives an electric car.

• 1:24:21Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:24:21Speaker 04

  That's the news I had just learned.

• 1:24:23Bill Maher?

  And drives through a fire to keep an appointment, I gotta give him that.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  Well, I was evacuated from Malibu and I ended up in a hotel room. And I.

• 1:24:33Bill Maher?

  Where?

• 1:24:34Speaker 04

  In Burbank, California. And I.

• 1:24:38Bill Maher?

  Beautiful downtown Burbank.

• 1:24:40Speaker 04

  Did a, me and Johnny Carson's ghost were in this hotel in Burbank. And I did my podcast from that hotel room because my studio was powerless because the winds had taken out the power lines and I had no power. But I was able to do it. And I said. That morning, after the fire, I said, "Look, first off, no permits. You guys think you're coming back with permits. You're not coming back with permits. You're not getting any permits. That's the way this city rolls. I was a contractor. You guys don't know it, but there's no permits, which I want to talk to you about.

• 1:25:19Speaker 04

  But I said at the time, I said, "Look, there's 5,000 people that are unhoused overnight. Overnight. There's the entire population of Malibu, the Palisades, Altadena. We're talking, there are about 5,000 structures. We're talking about...

• 1:25:38Bill Maher?

  Some of them tragically did not even have second homes.

• 1:25:41Speaker 04

  I know. Some of the folks had to go all the way to Aspen to their second, third home.

• 1:25:48Bill Maher?

  Sad.

• 1:25:49Speaker 04

  Oh, guys had to hang out with Costner.

• 1:25:52Bill Maher?

  There's nothing sadder than the second homeless.

• 1:25:55Speaker 04

  They are second homes. But I said, "But Altadena is working class and...

• 1:26:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:26:01Speaker 04

  ...it's real.

• 1:26:01Bill Maher?

  Absolutely.

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  Altadena, it's not Pasadena, and it's not Palisades, it's not Malibu.

• 1:26:06Bill Maher?

  Even people in the Pacific Palisades.

• 1:26:08Speaker 04

  Palisades, for sure.

• 1:26:09Bill Maher?

  Some of those people bought the houses in 1950.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  They're school teachers that live there.

• 1:26:13Bill Maher?

  Exactly. And they got in before it was the...

• 1:26:16Speaker 04

  They bought a house in the Palisades for $49,000 in 1963. And the guy was a school teacher, and his wife was a secretary.

• 1:26:24Bill Maher?

  So, it's not all people who...

• 1:26:26Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:26:26Bill Maher?

  Right. It's not all Tom Hanks.

• 1:26:27Speaker 04

  But here's the point. The point is, the fires hit last night. These people were unhoused, and they were literally homeless because their house was burned to the ground. How many of them are sleeping on the sidewalks this morning? And the answer is zero. Nobody who is literally unhoused is unhoused. So, what happened? Well, they have a network. They're not fentanyl addicts. They didn't run afoul of everybody in their family and everyone in the world. They... When I was homeless, and I was homeless, Dr. Drew, Jimmy Kimmel, my network like reached out to me and said, "Do you want to stay in my guest...?" Do you want to flop on my sofa?

• 1:27:12Speaker 04

  I have a credit card, I could stay at a hotel. Like, I have a network, I built a base. It's not like the home was the reason I wasn't homeless. I, I have a base. Everyone is homeless overnight, no one slept on the sidewalk. So it's not the homes. It's something else, it's mental, it's addiction.

• 1:27:33Bill Maher?

  It's also money. The biggest, the biggest difference between black and white in America is legacy wealth. That's the huge thing. The average, I don't know, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna try to quote, because I'll get it wrong, but like, the average wealth of like, a single black woman is very low.

• 1:27:57Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:27:58Bill Maher?

  And like, the average wealth of like, white people is like, a hundred and seventy thousand dollars. Because of all the years and decades and centuries where we only got to accumulate wealth.

• 1:28:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, but, but hold on, Asians are above us and Nigerians are above them. Like, it's not all skin color. Nigerians come here, they're very successful. Asians come here, Armenians.

• 1:28:23Bill Maher?

  But if you're talking about why people couldn't find a home when their house burned down, some of it absolutely is because you have a more, I hate the word, privileged network. And like.

• 1:28:38Speaker 04

  But I built it. I built the network.

• 1:28:42Bill Maher?

  You built it and you inherited it.

• 1:28:44Speaker 04

  I didn't inherit it.

• 1:28:45Bill Maher?

  Well, you did somewhat by being white. That, there is some truth in that. There is some truth in that. There is just more white wealth in America.

• 1:28:54Speaker 04

  There is more white wealth. There is more white wealth. But I don't know how.

• 1:28:58Bill Maher?

  So when you have a tragedy, there is a lot more people who say, I have a credit card. Like, among the black community, some of them don't even have credit.

• 1:29:08Speaker 04

  No, no. Listen, I built the wealth, which is, I hung out with dudes who don't have anything, and I somehow met and made my way toward Dr. Drew and Jimmy Kimmel and Mark Garagos and things like that. I made that.

• 1:29:28Bill Maher?

  I know.

• 1:29:28Speaker 04

  And it wasn't because I was white. It's because I moved through the system.

• 1:29:33Bill Maher?

  I know, but listen to who your friends are. That's not the average person's friend. It's certainly not the average black person's friend.

• 1:29:40Speaker 04

  I'm not saying it's the average person's friend.

• 1:29:42Bill Maher?

  I mean, you know, and Jimmy Kimmel, you know, he's very mad at me, and I know you're close to him.

• 1:29:48Speaker 04

  I heard that.

• 1:29:48Bill Maher?

  I helped you tell him that, you know, I'm sorry that, you know, they got bent out of shape. I don't think I did anything wrong. We can have disagreements.

• 1:29:58Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 1:29:58Bill Maher?

  I mean, you and I don't agree on everything. Look at this clash now, and yet, we're cool. Like, the Republicans are always, this is the difference between the right and the left. It bugs me so much. My tribe is supposed to be the left, but these are the people who just can't talk to you unless you're exactly there. Whereas the Republicans, they always fucking come to my show. John Kennedy from Louisiana.

• 1:30:23Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:30:24Bill Maher?

  Was on last week.

• 1:30:25Speaker 04

  Yes, great job.

• 1:30:26Bill Maher?

  Took his beating like a man, like they all do, and we came across lovingly and smilingly and happily, and we can disagree.

• 1:30:36Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 1:30:36Bill Maher?

  And you and I aren't always completely on the same page, although we're very close because we're both smart guys. But, like, I just don't get that from, and Jimmy, I'm sorry, like, I think this is one of the nicest guys. I did a Mia culpa when we exchanged emails, not about what he was complaining about, but just saying, like, you know, sometimes I am a little brash about me when they compare me with the other late-night guys, and I'm like, I'm not like you guys. I'm not. You could all exchange your monologues, all of you, and no one would know the difference in tone. Tone, okay?

• 1:31:11Speaker 04

  Tone, yeah.

• 1:31:12Bill Maher?

  Whereas me. I'm not there.

• 1:31:16Speaker 04

  No, I agree.

• 1:31:16Bill Maher?

  I'm not in on your, I don't just buy into the left-wing bullshit. And I never stop making fun of the right-wing bullshit at all.

• 1:31:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:31:25Bill Maher?

  And like, if that's not good enough for you, then I think you're the asshole. And I don't think Jimmy is an asshole.

• 1:31:33Speaker 04

  No, he's not.

• 1:31:33Bill Maher?

  I think he's a great guy. And it bugs me that, you know, because of what the latest thing was, that, you know, we may never talk.

• 1:31:42Speaker 04

  You guys should be thick as thieves and on the same page. And I'll tell you something interesting, talking about left and talking about right and disagreements. I said to Tucker Carlson once, and this is probably about six, seven years ago. I said, Tucker, why don't you get together a network of Republican or sort of conservative? Why don't you put together your own kind of conservative network? And he said, it won't work. And I said, why not? And he said, they all disagree with everything each other is saying all the time. And I said, what do you mean?

• 1:32:25Speaker 04

  He said, well, I mean, you take something like COVID. Half Republican, and I don't mean Republican, I said conservatives are going, get the shot, get the shot. The other are going, never, it's poison.

• 1:32:36Bill Maher?

  Trump was the one who got the shot.

• 1:32:38Speaker 04

  Right. And they're constantly, you see Candace Owens and Megyn Kelly, and they're all like sniping and battling.

• 1:32:48Bill Maher?

  Now they are, yes.

• 1:32:48Speaker 04

  Ben Shapiro and...

• 1:32:49Bill Maher?

  Marjorie Taylor Greene was on my show this Friday.

• 1:32:52Speaker 04

  This cabal, right, of people constantly disagreeing and arguing all the time about everything. He said, you can't get them on the same page. But he said, the left, you can get them on the same page. You can get them to agree to stuff. You can get them sort of, you take COVID. I didn't hear any dissenting voices on, see, yeah, you, because you are intellectually honest, and you're not exactly left-wing. But CNN, MSNBC, even ABC... They're all this ivermectin, horse pace, fuck Joe Rogan.

• 1:33:27Bill Maher?

  And they were just organs of the government. Organs of the government, which is not their function. They're supposed to be watchdogs of the government.

• 1:33:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:33:36Bill Maher?

  But it's so funny you say that because I think of it as the opposite. You said, you know, the right wing, oh, there's so much dissent. I mean, I feel like now, in the last month since Minneapolis, there's been dissent on the right. But I think in general, I think of them as like, we just, whatever Trump wants, we rubber stamp. I mean, you can't tell me that Congress.

• 1:34:00Speaker 04

  I don't mean Congress, I mean like amongst the tastemakers. You know, your sort of Tucker Carlsons, your Candace Owens, your Ben Shapiro's.

• 1:34:10Bill Maher?

  You're right, they're all over the map.

• 1:34:12Speaker 04

  They're all battling each other. Right, and on the left, everyone's sort of lockstep in terms of the tastemakers.

• 1:34:19Bill Maher?

  Right, Ben Shapiro, Yamaka, Tucker Carlson, Hitler, not so bad.

• 1:34:25Speaker 04

  Right, right, so.

• 1:34:27Bill Maher?

  What the fuck?

• 1:34:28Speaker 04

  But all I'm saying is, is whether you agree or disagree, at least they're being honest. Because when you hear the dissenting voices, you're hearing.

• 1:34:38Bill Maher?

  You think Candace Owens is honest? You think Candace Owens believes what she's saying?

• 1:34:44Speaker 04

  That's a tough one. I gotta say, and by the way, I don't follow her, I just hear the sort of rumblings. I did say to Chris Cuomo, when he said to me, like, you know, do you really believe Ben Shapiro or Dennis Prager or Tucker Carlson? I go, oh, they believe it. You can disagree with it all you want, but that's how they think. I mean, and I would say the exact same thing about you as I would say about Ben Shapiro. 100% you guys believe what you believe.

• 1:35:17Bill Maher?

  Absolutely, and you?

• 1:35:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm that, I feel that way too, it doesn't make you right or wrong.

• 1:35:23Bill Maher?

  And by the way, there's nothing you believe that you have anything to apologize for. Even if someone disagrees with you. But by the way, Candace Owens.

• 1:35:29Speaker 04

  She may be a provocateur.

• 1:35:31Bill Maher?

  She may be.

• 1:35:32Speaker 04

  I mean, she is a provocateur. What I'm saying is, is she may be.

• 1:35:39Speaker 04

  Saying things that she knows isn't true to create something. I do not think you would do that. I think Ben Shapiro does that. I think I do that. I don't think many other people do that.

• 1:35:50Bill Maher?

  All I know is she's very entertaining, which can be dangerous because she has some ridiculous beliefs.

• 1:35:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:35:56Bill Maher?

  But, I mean, she's entertaining. When I finished listening to her, I'm over the moon. Not that we landed on it.

• 1:36:04Speaker 04

  I do want to bring up something that I watch all the time and I cite it. And I appreciate you, when you had Jane Fonda on the show and you were...

• 1:36:15Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:36:15Speaker 04

  And so I want to tell you something about you.

• 1:36:18Bill Maher?

  On this show?

• 1:36:18Speaker 04

  On this show.

• 1:36:19Bill Maher?

  Not that this is a show.

• 1:36:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:22Bill Maher?

  Whatever this is. I would hardly call it a show, but it is entertaining.

• 1:36:26Speaker 04

  But I want to, there's a couple of things. I said my entire career, I said, listen, I used to be a contractor. I used to have to pull permits. I used to have to deal with the city, plan check, and all of the above. I had to deal with all of it. And I would always say, look, if you're living in Santa Monica and you have rent control apartment, good, vote the way you vote. I get it. But buy a piece of land, get a home, go to the city, try to pull a permit, and then tell me how you feel about this government. Because I think it's too fucking big. And you go, what? We get rent control. You get rent control. Go buy a piece of property,

• 1:37:08Speaker 04

  try to do a remodel, go talk to the city, and then tell me how you feel.

• 1:37:13Bill Maher?

  Because you're doing this to your home?

• 1:37:15Speaker 04

  Right, and I've done it.

• 1:37:16Bill Maher?

  You were wiped out?

• 1:37:17Speaker 04

  I, well, I, no, I wasn't wiped out. My home is intact in Malibu. Everything around it is burnt, but my business was doing it to other people's homes.

• 1:37:27Bill Maher?

  Why did your home survive?

• 1:37:28Speaker 04

  God loves me.

• 1:37:32Speaker 04

  You should know that, Bill.

• 1:37:34Bill Maher?

  No, really? Everything around you burnt?

• 1:37:36Speaker 04

  Uh, I would say eighty percent of what was around me burnt.

• 1:37:40Bill Maher?

  Did you take precautions that others didn't? Did you like?

• 1:37:44Speaker 04

  Where kind of?

• 1:37:45Bill Maher?

  Wetting the roof.

• 1:37:46Speaker 04

  No, no, I didn't, I just-

• 1:37:48Bill Maher?

  I changed my roof since last year. I have a whole different roof.

• 1:37:51Speaker 04

  I noticed it when I went up-

• 1:37:52Bill Maher?

  And I have a thing that goes in the pool.

• 1:37:54Speaker 04

  To pump it.

• 1:37:55Bill Maher?

  You shoot the pool up on the roof.

• 1:37:56Speaker 04

  No, I did nothing and just complete luck of the draw, like, the-

• 1:38:03Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:03Speaker 04

  The hood, the SS hood, which was a British ship sunk by, blown up by the Bismarck in, in World War II, and eighteen hundred sailors went to the ground and six popped up. And, sorry, went to the drink and six sort of came up. Six guys just floating in the ocean and eighteen hundred dead. And you go, "What did you do?" And the answer's, "I don't know. I just popped up." That was basically me in Malibu.

• 1:38:36Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I called, I called this club random, not club fate.

• 1:38:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:38:39Bill Maher?

  Exactly. I believe in random.

• 1:38:41Speaker 04

  Jane Fonda came on your show and you were talking to her about regulation and overregulation and red tape. And she said to you, "I don't think there's enough." And I was like, "Are you fucking nuts?" And I realized she didn't know what was going on, then you talked about your garage door. But the point is, is you got turned a little bit with your solar shack. And I said it a million times, live and rent control, fine. Go get your own home and try to pull a permit, you'll start thinking more like me. And you tried to get your solar shack permit and that took two years.

• 1:39:18Bill Maher?

  Uh, two years while I was yelling at them on the air. This is how arrogant the government is in California. This is how bad it is when one party controls any government of either party.

• 1:39:30Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:31Bill Maher?

  I was embarrassing them on the air-

• 1:39:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:34Bill Maher?

  For weeks and still nothing happened.

• 1:39:38Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:38Bill Maher?

  Until the governor himself.

• 1:39:41Bill Maher?

  intervened and said, you know, this is getting embarrassing.

• 1:39:45Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:45Bill Maher?

  And of course, it was a bunch of bullshit. None of it ever needed to happen. It wasn't even the one that bothered me the most. The one that bothered me the most was my garage door. When I moved into this house, it had a three garage door. I, okay, it doesn't fit three cars. I don't know what these cars are. It fits three motorcycles.

• 1:40:05Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:40:06Bill Maher?

  So, okay, like, I don't live in a fucking mansion. I don't want to. I live alone, okay? I've got a wonderful house, happy to have it. No one would mistake it for like, you know, lifestyles of the rich and famous. Okay, so I wanted to change my three-car garage, wink, wink, to what it should be, a two-car garage. This took three inspections. Inspections?

• 1:40:30Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:40:30Bill Maher?

  For my, I'm just changing my garage. Why do you have to be involved in my life when I'm changing my garage?

• 1:40:38Speaker 04

  Because.

• 1:40:39Bill Maher?

  If it falls down on my head, that's my fault for doing it with a bad contractor.

• 1:40:44Speaker 04

  Right. And now you get to rebuilding the Palisades in Malibu.

• 1:40:48Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:40:48Speaker 04

  And what's not happening because of this.

• 1:40:51Bill Maher?

  But here's the question. The New York Post, which I always loved because it kept me connected with the city of my formative years, and now it's the California Post. And you can't get the New York Post out here. So they ruined my life because I wanted the New York Post because I grew up in New Jersey. My father commuted to New York, okay? New York sports teams, New York radio, New York television. I was a minority owner of the New York Mets. I started my stand-up career in New York, started my television career in New York. I want to know about New York. It interests me. Doesn't exist anymore. So the California Post, and they printed this interview with Trump.

• 1:41:34Bill Maher?

  I did one too for the inauguration. And Trump says, well, we're gonna go in and we're gonna change the permitting laws. Now.

• 1:41:45Bill Maher?

  He is obviously a guy who just pulls things out of his ass. I get the impetus to do this. Like, why wouldn't you want to do that? Again, he's the guy who sees a problem anywhere and he goes, "I can fix that."

• 1:41:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:41:59Bill Maher?

  But is there any jurisdiction for the president to override local permitting laws?

• 1:42:06Speaker 04

  I think there... I don't know about precedent because no one cared and it never existed. If you're building a log cabin in 1871, there's no court case on that. I think he can because I've heard something about it. But the point is, is it's a metaphor for government and the size of government. When you can't do what you want to do on your land that you own and that you pay taxes on and you need to ask fucking permission from them to do stuff on your land.

• 1:42:42Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 1:42:43Speaker 04

  Then we have gone across the Rubicon. We have crossed the Rubicon. And the fact that... I bought a warehouse in Glendale, California.

• 1:42:54Bill Maher?

  Just for fun?

• 1:42:56Speaker 04

  Just for fun. And I wanted to put some cars in there and what have you. And I was building like a storage loft on it.

• 1:43:04Bill Maher?

  Do you have that many cars?

• 1:43:06Speaker 04

  I do have... I have 13 Paul Newman race cars. I have all the Paul Newman race cars.

• 1:43:10Bill Maher?

  The common man, Adam Carolla, speaking for John Q. Sixpack.

• 1:43:15Speaker 04

  Watching roots, eating Pop-Tarts, sitting in a Newman race car.

• 1:43:19Bill Maher?

  That's it.

• 1:43:20Speaker 04

  Keeping it real.

• 1:43:21Bill Maher?

  Keeping it real with my 13 cars. Go ahead.

• 1:43:24Speaker 04

  So, I went... They busted me and they said, "You gotta pull a permit, blah, blah, blah." They will walk onto your property and tell you to stop and pull a permit. And I went in to the planning commission of the city of Glendale. And I said, "I want to pull a permit to do some building on my warehouse." And the like 25-year-old chick behind the counter goes, "What are you gonna do with that warehouse?" That I bought, by the way. And I said, "I'm gonna put some cars in there." And she goes... They might let you do that. And I thought, they might let me do that with my property.

• 1:44:04Bill Maher?

  It's infuriating.

• 1:44:05Speaker 04

  It's insane, and it's huge, and it's a California thing, and unfortunately, it's a blue thing. It's kind of a left thing.

• 1:44:13Bill Maher?

  It is.

• 1:44:13Speaker 04

  And they're encroaching on everything. It's just, step back, stop making rules. You don't rule everything.

• 1:44:20Bill Maher?

  I tell this to Gavin every time I talk to him.

• 1:44:24Speaker 04

  Just knock it the fuck off. Just leave people alone.

• 1:44:27Bill Maher?

  And he says, we're doing it, but I don't see it. To be honest.

• 1:44:32Speaker 04

  Well, also.

• 1:44:33Bill Maher?

  He says he's doing it when I confront him with it, but I don't see it.

• 1:44:38Speaker 04

  No, because they're there to make rules. That's why they got into power. They like it.

• 1:44:44Bill Maher?

  They like it.

• 1:44:44Speaker 04

  What I want.

• 1:44:45Bill Maher?

  That's it, they like it.

• 1:44:46Speaker 04

  I want, you know, my favorite answer from a politician is, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not in charge. Ask your dad. I don't run your house. Do what you do. You want to go to the beach during COVID? Go to the beach during COVID. I'm not here to tell you not to do that.

• 1:45:00Bill Maher?

  Not to drag in more politics on this, but like, this is the same issue, really, with children. Is that parents do not want to think that anyone, including government, is above them in deciding what goes for their children. And that is not the philosophy of the state of California.

• 1:45:23Speaker 04

  Not at all.

• 1:45:24Bill Maher?

  That is not. I mean, Democrats seem to be determined to die on this hill of trans. Again, there could be an easy grand bargain. I'd be the first one to defend trans people. It's a real thing. Not everybody who's born in the body that they were supposed to be born into, or however you want to put that. But there is a.

• 1:45:49Bill Maher?

  Default setting for human beings. And to keep this secret from parents. The parent issue that we're talking about, like the the personal life issue, the government too into your personal life. It is amazing to me that Republicans can't do better in this state because I certainly know, like umpteen liberals, liberals, people who vote Democratic who complain about these things, about the parent issue, about the permitting kind of issue, about the regulation issue, taxes, like so many taxes, but my road still sucks.

• 1:46:28Bill Maher?

  You know, it's like, but why did then, why does the state stay in this mono-party stasis?

• 1:46:37Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know what it is. I mean, I think there's an element of sort of fashion where we just go, oh, that's cool. There's a little emperor's new clothes. I mean, I definitely felt it with COVID. People acted like they didn't really believe in COVID. I mean, in the sense that people had a mask on, but it was around their chin.

• 1:47:04Speaker 04

  What I'm saying is, is you should wear a helmet when you're riding a motorcycle because there's a real danger you could be concussed or worse riding a motorcycle.

• 1:47:16Bill Maher?

  Even Gary Busey.

• 1:47:17Speaker 04

  Even Gary Busey. And I've never seen anyone riding a motorcycle with the helmet under their arm. You know what I mean? Because they understand it's a real danger and they could be hurt. But I saw people with masks around their nutsack and their chin and over their head and stuff. And it's like, they were trying to get along. And people in California, I've realized, get so caught up in the sort of fashion of things that they just want to get along and they don't want to get in trouble and they don't want to get yelled at.

• 1:47:52Bill Maher?

  You're so right.

• 1:47:52Speaker 04

  And they don't want to, they want to be a nail that a hammer's gonna find. So they go, no, no, Gavin. Newsom's great. No, no, Karen Pass is great.

• 1:48:01Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:48:01Speaker 04

  Put the mask on. No, no, get the jab. No, for sure. No, the border, no, Ray said, no one's illegal. No one's, all people are legal, everything is love, science is science. We're just, we're down with everything. Will you just leave me the fuck alone so I could go home and eat my Pop-Tarts and watch reruns of Roots?

• 1:48:19Bill Maher?

  I'll just sign your petition outside of Whole Foods.

• 1:48:21Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 1:48:22Bill Maher?

  Just let me get it.

• 1:48:23Speaker 04

  Outside of Irwin.

• 1:48:23Bill Maher?

  Let me get in my car.

• 1:48:25Speaker 04

  I bought a smoothie for forty-one dollars. I'll sign your shit. I just want to get to the press.

• 1:48:30Bill Maher?

  For forty-one dollars, I'll sign your thing that says, "I hate privilege."

• 1:48:34Speaker 04

  Right, I hate privilege.

• 1:48:37Bill Maher?

  Excuse me, I've got a castle to buy in Ireland.

• 1:48:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:48:40Bill Maher?

  To escape privilege.

• 1:48:42Speaker 04

  That's right, right. And a tea time to make.

• 1:48:47Bill Maher?

  How great to have you.

• 1:48:49Speaker 04

  Always great.

• 1:48:49Bill Maher?

  I mean, what can I say? That was more fun than you can have with your pants on. Of course, I'm seventy now, so it's not such a big break.

• 1:48:59Speaker 04

  Not about that, but that's amazing, Bill.

• 1:49:02Bill Maher?

  I know.

• 1:49:03Speaker 04

  You look great, and I will say this too.

• 1:49:06Bill Maher?

  Well, I exist.

• 1:49:07Speaker 04

  No, I'm not, I'm not just doing this for you, but you're getting sharper and keener and faster and more lucid and the clarity and the truth. And I, I think there's a part, no, I think there's a part, I'm not trying to extend another seven minutes, but I think there's a part of getting older where you go, "I can fucking tell the truth." Like, I, I, I have, you have "F you" money, which is better than "F me" money, which means you can say whatever the fuck you want.

• 1:49:37Bill Maher?

  I sure don't have to give nineteen thousand dollars to a bunch of brats.

• 1:49:41Speaker 04

  Too, but yeah, I get it. You know how many Pop-Tarts that buys? But no, I, I appreciate you, and seventy's incredible.

• 1:49:49Bill Maher?

  I appreciate everything you do.

• 1:49:50Speaker 04

  It's weird to be at the top of your game at seventy.

• 1:49:52Bill Maher?

  Well, you know what is the ultimate tragedy of life, I think, is that you spend an entire lifetime working on this thing that's inside your skull, like gathering information, adding new information, experiences, everything you read, everything that makes you smarter, kinder, better, more aware, more able to make great decisions as opposed to stupid decisions. All that goes into this thing. And then because this thing gives out, you throw it in the trash with it.

• 1:50:31Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:50:31Bill Maher?

  It just seems crazy. It seems, I could, I could see getting rid of the body.

• 1:50:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:50:36Bill Maher?

  But they should have some way of saying, of, of doing a preservation of this thing inside the skull that put all this years and time and effort to gathering all this. And you might say, well, you can pass it on, you can pass on like 10%.

• 1:50:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:50:56Bill Maher?

  No, I agree. You have to learn your own shit. Everybody does. And so it's just, it's just such a waste, so.

• 1:51:03Speaker 04

  Basically.

• 1:51:04Bill Maher?

  I'm hoping AI.

• 1:51:05Speaker 04

  You're essentially saying you're Ming vase on top of a pedestal that's crumbling and you're gonna crash to the ground. Well, that's a good note to go out on.

• 1:51:14Bill Maher?

  Yeah. And the Ming is really what you want to save.

• 1:51:16Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:51:17Bill Maher?

  All right. Well, thank you. Great to see you, pal.

• 1:51:19Speaker 04

  Good to see you, Ben.

• 1:51:25Bill Maher?

  Well, top's fun. Top that.

• 1:51:34Speaker 00

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