Pod Insights Change Wired The High-Achiever's Compass: 3 coaching questions to unlock your next level of fulfillment. About this episode The grind feels right until it doesn’t. If you’ve been stacking wins yet sensing a misfit between effort and fulfillment, this conversation offers a fresh compass for your next chapter. We explore how to replace blind push with intentional pause through 3 precise questions that recalibrate your direction, clarify your target, and protect your time for what truly matters. We start by unpacking why high performers still hire coaches when results look strong from the out...
Transcript 0:09 Speaker 00 Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, personal and collective transformation, executive health and high performance coach 360 and just someone with a lot, a lot of passion, obsession and dedication to this quest of discovering, figuring out, learning how to unlock and use more of our potential for more positive impact, more fulfillment in our lives and to enjoy more this extraordinary journey we are all on.
0:49 Speaker 00 Today, guys, I want to share with you three questions that will help you, a high achiever, a striver, someone who genuinely wants to do more stuff in life and create something great and create more positive impact and improve and grow your best self. And today I want to share with you three questions that help high achievers like yourself to get to your next level of fulfillment, of this joy, satisfaction from your life. Today, we're going to be talking about the pause versus the push. The push, which is so natural to adore, to a high achiever.
1:28 Speaker 00 Today, we're going to create with these three questions, a better user manual for your high achiever's compass to unlock, again, your next level of fulfillment. And this podcast is really good fit for someone who already sets the goals and makes these sacrifices and who is on their way or you had already achieved quite some success. And maybe other people start questioning you, like, maybe it's enough, why do you have to always push and go for something, right? So outside world isn't really helpful and it's not like you're doing something wrong, it just...
2:14 Speaker 00 There might be other right things that you need to put into your life more in order to get to the next level for you. But first, let me begin with another question, not one of those three. A lot of my clients who I work with, they are already high achieving individuals. So why do they come to me? What, why do they come to a coach at all? They already set goals, they already know what they want out of life, more or less, out of themselves. They are willing to work for it, they are ready to make hard choices and real sacrifices. And they're already doing that, a lot of it.
3:00 Speaker 00 And so if they're already doing quite well, why do they come to a coach? Isn't that already enough, right? You might hear it from people around you, like, isn't that already enough? Like, why do you need more or push more? Why don't you just settle down? Why do elite athletes at the very top of their game still have coaches too, guys? Your favorite performer or a business owner you admire has or had one or usually many coaches as well.
3:36 Speaker 00 Because, why, why do those people have coaching, coaches? Because, guys, when you're performing at a high level and you are already achieving success and results, it becomes harder and harder to see what's holding you back. And other people, again, are not a lot of help, like, regular other people are not a lot of help in it as well. Because from a lot of people's perspective, if you are doing pretty well and you are either grown or growing and achieved certain level of personal success. For a lot of people in your circle, they don't really get it. What, what else do you need? Like, everything is working, your life is pretty good.
4:21 Speaker 00 Like, everyone has problems, obviously, and challenges. But what it is you want, what it is you're not satisfied with? For people who are not... Tuned to, or it's not their natural thing to always be achieving. And here, guys, I want to emphasize that being a high achiever, or someone who always strives to, to become someone else, it's not everyone's as, everyone's default. Some people are more of like maintainers, and that's fine. Otherwise, we wouldn't have the world that we have to enjoy. Not everyone needs to be pushing the envelope and the boundaries of achievement. We all need to grow and develop in some way,
5:06 Speaker 00 but that level is different for everyone, and that's okay. But if you're feeling that there is more for you, and you're not sure what it is exactly, and the outside world is telling you, you know, it's enough already, then, or settle for something less, etc., then these questions will help you to navigate this path and figure out where to go next when the whole world tells you, you might as well stay where you are. Right? So why do high achievers get coaches?
5:41 Speaker 00 The patterns often that helped you get so far are often the very ones that quietly cap your next level. And again, the rest of the world is not much of a help either. And these patterns aren't wrong, but because, as the saying goes, what got you here won't get you there. They need to be changed. And very often, you don't really know which ones to change. Your destination has changed, you can feel it. And your way of operating has to change with it, but you're just not sure how exactly. And nobody will tell you what's wrong, because nothing really is. It's just not exactly right.
6:25 Speaker 00 Trying to figure that out on your own is also kind of tricky. It's like trying to read the label from inside the bottle, and pretty damn good bottle, I must say.
6:36 Speaker 00 What high achievers, when they go to coaches, actually pay for isn't motivation or discipline or even the right answers, even though very often they think they need all of it. It's more about reflection, creating the time and space for this messy work that figuring things out is. It's pattern recognition from outside of your own head. It's someone who challenges your default thinking, someone who gives you questions that you don't naturally ask yourself, frameworks and perspectives that you wouldn't usually arrive at alone.
7:23 Speaker 00 And these three questions that I'm about to share with you, this helped me to help those high achievers to get more clear about that pattern recognition, about challenging their default thinking, about seeing your default thinking more clearly before you can change it. These questions that, again, you wouldn't usually naturally ask yourself. So let's get to the questions. The first question, why am I doing this? Again, these three questions I ask, especially these days with all this change and having to navigate all this uncertainty and faster and faster evolving world,
8:08 Speaker 00 these questions I ask more and more often. Why am I doing this? In transitions, guys, when here no longer satisfies you, but there isn't exactly clear yet, this question matters more than any plan.
8:25 Speaker 00 Reconnecting with your core values, knowing, learning to know what your core values are at this moment, not 20 years ago when you started the whole thing, but right now, because values also change. What's essential for you to stay you and to be evolving into the next version of you?
8:47 Speaker 00 It's not about getting a 10-year roadmap right away. It's more about getting the direction right. It's more about learning how to use your inner compass. So you start laying the right bricks into the right path, unfolding, following that internal compass, step by step, brick by brick, so that each move takes you closer and closer to where you were meant to go all along. So the question, why am I doing this? It will, and when you ask it intentionally, and with time to pause, to think, to reflect,
9:33 Speaker 00 to write it all down, what's, what's gonna come up for you? You're gonna discover certain things that will help you to make the right choice as the choice comes to you. So that you, so every brick that you lay into the path in front of you is the right kind of brick on the right kind of path, the path where you were meant to go all along. So why am I doing this? Journal about that. Then the next question is, what would have to be true for me to get this or there? Let me explain. Sometimes you have a clear goal, a vision.
10:15 Speaker 00 As a high achiever, you probably had many of those moments when it's just clear. But sometimes you also, just the only thing you have is a feeling. You want more of, more fulfillment, more alignment, more calm, more contribution, or maybe less of something. And before you can build an effective plan to start getting closer to that somewhere, you need more clarity. Otherwise, it's like trying to hit a bull's eye with no clear target. Bull's eye of what? So how would you know you're there? Or what would have to be true for you to actually feel fulfilled? What are the signs that will tell you you're on the right path?
11:01 Speaker 00 What are the milestones that you will see? You've got to define them in advance or at least define the feeling better. Again, the more you define that feeling in the outside world terms, like this has got to be happening or I've got to be waking up like this or going to bed like this, or this would happen in my day, this kind of interactions and relationships I would have, this kind of work that feels like this, this kind of projects. The more of these details you can put into place, the more surely and intentionally you can start moving towards that destination.
11:43 Speaker 00 It also helps, excuse me guys, it also helps sometimes to ask the elimination questions as well. Like what would have to be not there in my life for this to be possible? What I need to eliminate and remove to clear away? So the right stuff can have the space and time to grow.
12:08 Speaker 00 From there, you start building or eliminating one piece of a puzzle at a time. So back to the second question. What would have to be true for me to get this or there? Right? Even if it's a feeling, create as many examples, vivid pictures about that there as you can. So when you encounter that or you have a choice to start designing your new destination, your new life, you know how to get to some of those pieces if not, or until the full picture gets clear.
12:48 Speaker 00 And then the last, but definitely not least, and it comes with a practice that I'm going to describe in a minute. The question is, and this is what I stole from one of the world's top executive coaches, Marshall Goldsmith, who's been doing his work for, I think, over three or four decades. Am I willing at this time to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic? Let me read it again. Am I willing at this time, at this time in your life, to make the investment required, and everything requires investment, to make a positive difference on this topic?
13:31 Speaker 00 This one is especially hard for high achievers, and let me explain why. Because as a high achiever, you usually figured out quite a lot of things, and you usually have energy, and you have options, and you have resources and resourcefulness very often. And so everything feels possible, and like you can take it all on. Everything is within your reach. So you start sprinkling yourself everywhere until there is a lot happening, but most of it is sort of mediocreish and doesn't make a dent, at least not for you, not anymore. And there is no empty space left for mastery of what matters
14:14 Speaker 00 or for anything that actually can matter to come in. You're already full. You can't pour into a full cup.
14:24 Speaker 00 We do this one practice with my clients. We ask this question, the question again is, am I willing at this time to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic? So we ask the question, and then before taking on more...
14:44 Speaker 00 Before putting something on our calendars, we look at honestly at what this new project will require to do a great job, not just get it done, get it out of the way. We'll look at your schedule and your time, your energy, your mental capacity, your attention, the trade offs that you would have to make. Then we'll look at your calendar again and existing commitments and ask, do I actually have the capacity to do great work on this? And does this even make sense, given my why and the direction I'm committing to, I'm trying to get to? Remembering this fact, this opportunity costs through.
15:25 Speaker 00 Every time you choose to do something, you choose not to do something else. Every time you say yes to something mediocre and not really aligned with where you're trying to go, you say no to what potentially can be a really great fit for your next destination.
15:44 Speaker 00 So again, back to this third question, am I willing at this time to make the investment? And I would say the sacrifice required to make a positive difference on this topic. Doesn't matter.
15:58 Speaker 00 All three of these questions, guys, requires something most high achievers are not that comfortable with. Most doers don't do enough of it. The thinking time on your calendar, unrushed, uninterrupted, unoptimized. Without a coach, most doers skip this work because it feels inefficient. There is no immediate payoff. There are more urgent things and other projects that you're committing to all the time. Nothing even to post about on LinkedIn on Monday morning. It's like I did this, but I'm not sure what it was and where I'm going with this. Mastery, your next level is this messy work.
16:40 Speaker 00 With no guaranteed timeline and no instant rewards, maybe like a couple of friends liking your post on this like, yeah, do the work. But you know what I'm talking about. Without accountability, most of us will never stay with this work long enough to for you to actually pay off. And that's why people hire me. They're like, I just want to make space and time for this and have a sense of direction and accountability and making sure I keep laying this messy, uneven road in the fog. So will you, dear listener, do this work? These three questions will help.
17:22 Speaker 00 Before we sum up the questions and repeat them, don't forget, please to share, review, rate this podcast. We reach more people. Other people will help each other grow by sharing, by caring enough to share and investing a little bit more time and attention to helping more people get this value. And I think a lot of us are in this place of navigating this unfolding foggy, messy path. So please share, rate, review. And now back to the questions. Why am I doing this?
18:00 Speaker 00 What would have to be true for me to get this or there, whatever this or there is? And then, am I willing at this time to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic? And with these questions in mind, and I highly recommend scheduling some journaling time for these questions. I'm going to be leaving you to have your extraordinary day ahead. And till next time, keep growing.
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