Quitting to Win. 1 question to cure overcommitment and 1 principle to stick with your diet.

What if the fastest path to high performance is learning to quit sooner? We challenge the “never quit” myth and replace it with a sharper rule: winners don’t quit the right things, but they quit the wrong things often and fast. Through a 24-hour race story, client case studies, and a simple question that filters good effort from wasted grind, we show how to align your time, energy, and identity so progress feels focused instead of frantic. We dig into the difference b...

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  Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, transformation, in unlocking more of our human potential to create the most extraordinary lives and make more positive impact in this world as we live in it. I'm also an executive health performance and leadership coach and I help a lot of people, including myself, to every day ask ourselves uncomfortable questions and do the discomforting

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  things more often, so we grow faster and more consistently, so we get to see what potential we have and how we can create amazing things in this world with it. Today, guys, we're gonna learn how to A, become a high performer without the overcommitment and over scheduled calendar and without burnout and with more fulfillment, not more business. We also learn how to become better quitters and think no to the wrong thing and finishing

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  experiments that we start if they don't lead where we want to go. You know, I feel like in our culture, we have this idea of the experiment or a task as we're gonna try this thing and it has to work, we figure out how to make it work. Well, sometimes you try things, you learn things and the purpose of the whole test is learning, not accomplishing anything and it's a totally normal outcome to not continue with the test and the experiment. There is a lot of work, like there is a book Tiny Experiments written by a neuroscientist.

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  Previous Googler, someone who does a lot of work and thought leadership in the space of experimentation as a life philosophy. And she teaches different techniques and studies and research them. And we also had her on our podcast. So I'm probably gonna link that podcast in the show notes as well. Check that out. She is the author of Tiny Experiments and experiments, testing. Again, the legitimate one of the outcome is trying an experiment and not continuing with that. Because you learn certain things that make continuation like makes no sense.

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  Okay, let's start with a little bit of story. So today you're gonna learn how to quit on the right thing. How to know what that right thing is and how to stick with the right thing as well. Right? There is a saying winners don't quit. Actually, it's the most strong advice for becoming your best and the times of change. Winners don't quit on the right things, but they but they quit all the time on all the things that don't belong in their life. And the art is developing enough self-awareness. So you have the ability to distinguish between the discomfort of growth in the right thing and the path of misalignment and the need to quit things, right?

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  So you're gonna become, you're gonna learn about a simple question, a framework to start using in your life, in your daily calendar. So you stick with more of the right things. So the right things actually have the space in your calendar to stick with you. And then quitting, become really good at quitting fast their own things, just like. I think there is this thing, hire, slow, fire, fast. Well, I think in life, it's a little bit different. You gotta try the experiments that you wanna try, but you gotta also get good at quitting the wrong ones, the things that you shouldn't be doing. And what else? And besides that, you're gonna learn one principle that will allow

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  you to eat better without willpower and discipline, to do more exercise and do all the, all the things like sleeping more that you probably have on your new year resolutions list without, again, having to come up with some willpower or discipline magic. So let me start with a story. I did something unusual last Friday. I decided to participate in a 24-hour race, which the gist of it is you have four people, well, we had four people, and in the team, and you had 24 hours. And the purpose of the race, the ultimate winner,

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  is whoever does the most mileage with the team. And a friend of mine, like a month ago, asked me to sign up because he needed the team to go with him. And I said yes, also not realizing what it's actually gonna take to participate in the whole thing, also taught me a lesson to really think through even when your friends ask you to do something. And I actually, I don't regret saying yes to that one, because he needed, I think, some people to say yes for him to actually do it. And so some people said yes, like myself,

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  and last Friday, we went there. And after about six hours, I started napping, and it was, it started at 6:00 PM, so the 24-hour race would have to go through the night and then the next day. So we started at 6:00 PM, and about 11:00 PM, I started going to our attendant to nap more often. And then I think I took a long nap, after which a friend suggested that me and another member of the team, if we want, we could go, because he actually found out that they didn't need four people for the team, for them to continue. And he really wanted to run that race and get some trophy, and put it on his bucket

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  list that he did it. And I didn't, I didn't have any of that. I said yes, because I wanted to support a friend, because I wanted him to do it. And if I needed to stay the whole race to, for him to finish it, I would stay up. But they didn't need us. So I quit.

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  I didn't care enough to push. In fact, I didn't, again, push myself that hard at all. Do I regret not pushing myself with all the things that are on my plate right now, with all the commitment, etc. I was actually, while taking those snaps in the middle of the night, I was thinking of all the things that I wanna do that I was regretting. Ah, I'm not spending time on like my content creation, on my business plan, something that I truly care about growing this year, right? And the whole race. So for me, it wasn't the right thing to do. I didn't care enough to push. Not because I'm weak, not because I couldn't, not because I don't have the willpower to do the things that I don't enjoy much, but because this wasn't a challenge I wanted to suffer for.

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  That's okay. Not every "race", quote unquote, you need to sign up for and follow through till the end. The team, again, didn't need me for their journey, so I didn't betray any of my values to show up for people you care about. And in our society in general, it made me think, uh, think after the race, that we carry this strange badge of honor in our culture, that if you start, you must finish. You know, you have to think winners never quit. Winners quit all the time if that's the wrong thing to do. That's how they keep progressing and learning things about themselves more and more.

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  Okay, this is the right thing, this is the wrong thing. And the more time you spend on doing the wrong thing, the less time you have a chance to discover the right thing and actually practice and get good at it. So we stay in a relationship that no longer fulfills us and never get into the right one that's gonna bring the most joy in our lives. We stay in jobs that drain us and never get the time, never take the time to discover the ones that's gonna energize us, even with all the hard work and challenges. We could, we keep pushing projects that don't bring out our best in progress and growth and then we stagnate and often collapse with the whole thing while burning out and doing all the hard work.

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  We stay loyal to diet plans, to workout plans, identities.

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  That clearly aren't working for our life as it is or as it's evolving. And so we push the boulder up the wrong mountain proudly repeating winners don't quit. They do, guys, they for sure do. All the people you admire quit so many things to get to mastery on the right thing that you wouldn't cheat, that they've lost count and wouldn't fit it into a book. Winners quit on the wrong thing.

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  The real skill, guys, isn't just great at all costs everywhere. It's also self-awareness, knowing what deserves your grade. Like that race, nowhere on my New Year's resolution was running, was running a race. In fact, I put it somewhere that I wanna focus on very fewer things and not dilute my attention.

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  Another story from a client that I'm working with. She was choosing between two jobs to support herself while building her business. And one was easier, closer to home, but lower potential for future income. Then it was more complex, more skills she had to learn, more demanding and with more upside in the future finances wise. And she wasn't sure like what to choose. And I asked her one simple question. Is this hard you want to add to your life while working on what you actually want? And what she actually wants is having her business.

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  It was clear for her what to choose. She did not need more headache for the thing that she didn't even plan to continue. Like what was the thing with your upside? She wanted to develop her business, not be, and not become the best salesperson in this other thing. She already had enough hard reserved for her right thing.

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  Then another friend of mine on a hike shared with me that he quit his marketing job to build his own business. And he said, I realized that to get to the next level in this job, I'd have to work harder. And I didn't care enough to do that. Everything meaningful is hard, so I chose the hard that leads me where I wanna go. And that's the whole point, guys. Life will be hard anyway. Like, no matter what you do, life will bring you hard. Effort is non-negotiable. Discomfort is guaranteed.

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  And the only real choice you get is where you spend it, where you spend your heart, where you spend your greed, where you spend your discomfort.

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  So over to you. And before we actually jump into the concluding question, the tool, as promised, I wanna share with you a tool which is similar to quitting the wrong things and actually adding the right things first,

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  which gonna help you to stick a lot more, a lot better for a longer time with things like healthy eating or sleeping more or doing more fitness. But before we jump into that as well, guys, don't forget to share this podcast episode. Maybe it was a person who just keep putting more and more and more things on their plate and then burning out and stressing out that they just never have time for themselves. Or maybe, just maybe, a few things on their schedule aren't meant to be on that schedule in the first place.

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  So let's get to the displacement principle. What is the displacement principle that I use in my health coaching so often? Let's take an example of healthy eating. A lot of people would try to just do less of, I don't know, sweets or bread or carbs or whatever you call it. And then just try to create this eating less of the wrong stuff, hopefully eating the right stuff at the same time. But what we are taught in our coaching methodology is that actually just focusing on adding more, the right stuff will help you a lot better.

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  Not only by focusing on adding more right stuff, like more protein, more fruit and vegetables, more fiber-rich foods like beans or grains, etc. Not only it will help you to create more health, because more right nutrition will help you to support your health, will help yourself, the cells to function better. Not only that helps, it's an investment in your health. Also, by eating more of the right stuff, you have less, as simple as that, stomach space to fill it in with anything. And guess what? You also have a lot less desire for, for it. A lot of clients, after we start using this principle, report back to me, they're like,

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  "Kantala, I'm so full on the time, I, I don't want to, to eat anything, and I'm losing weight, and I'm feeling better, and na, na, na, da, da, da." It's because, I, I often feel, guys, that some people just want to eat their chocolates or cookies or everything, no matter what. And so when they start adding a lot more stuff, they're like, "Well, I'm so full, I..." And I'm like, "Yeah, and now..."

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  "Sweet or whatever that might be." And, wha, is it a bad thing? I don't think so. Eating more of the right stuff is good for you. Yes, it doesn't give you that up and crush, but it gives you that long-term fulfillment, satisfaction and health and energy. But anyhow, the point is, adding more right stuff in to crowd out the wrong stuff, really good strategy for a lot of things in life. Take a schedule. If you start putting the things, the projects, the people that are aligned with who you truly are, your values, your goals, who you want to become, guess what? You're gonna have less and less and less time for the wrong people, the wrong things,

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  for Netflix. Like, people ask me, "H- how do you not scroll and, and watch Netflix?" I don't freaking have time for that, literally. I put all the right things on my schedule, like writing, like this podcasting, that I just don't have time for that. And then, at nine PM, I know I gotta get to... But if I wanna have all the amazing days in front of me where I have the time to create this content that I love creating, to do the right kind of thinking, etc. So the right stuff just crowds out everything else. And I know that there is a workout that I wanna do, so I don't have any time for some bullshit activities. And if I wanna create space for some activity in my schedule, I gotta think of that.

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  And to to that point, another exercise, so this is displacement method, right? So if you're struggling with your healthy eating, with your fitness, with your sleep, put the right stuff on your calendar and in your fridge first and in your stomach, and then see how much less of the wrong stuff you start doing. It's like with time, the time isn't stretchable. At some point, you will have to make a real choice. Do I want to keep the space for the wrong stuff? Or do I wanna add more and more the right stuff? And then the second, with my clients, we often do this exercise where we look at their schedule.

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  And so much of it isn't there because they truly wanted it to be there. It's because they are quite high performing. They do have quite a lot of ambition and energy and ability to make things done. And so they just start piling up stuff more and more and more, saying yes, more and more and more. And they would handle a lot of that stuff. And that's why they never get like the punishment, except that they don't have the thinking time to consider all the deeper, more long-term, the right things that they might regret not doing in twenty and thirty years. Because they're just always busy.

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  And for them, doing things is the most comfortable thing on earth. And so what we do with them is we look at their schedule and ask about every single item. Why? Are you doing this? To what value? To what vision? To what goal? To what future self is this contributing to? And if the answer is, I don't really know. I've just been doing that or somebody asked me. Or it just, you know, it was a good idea at that time. Or somebody proposed or offered. It's like a lot of other people or the thing that we thought about for a bit on some day. And they decided to do it and then kind of stuck. And then we keep doing, never really reconsidering if we really wanna keep doing it. Because it's true to who we are.

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  It's true to our identity. It's true to our why. It's true to our long term vision for ourselves and our life. Right? So this exercise we do with a lot, a lot of my clients. Because again, they are very ambitious people. They are very capable people. They do do a lot of things quite successfully. And so for them, the default is to say yes to a lot of things, different challenges and opportunities, etc. And never often reconsidering what has to go. And the saddest part, again, there is this opportunity cost that is very well known in cognitive sciences.

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  That when we say yes to something, we don't have the attention, the thinking, the capacity to even consider deeply all of the potential things that don't necessarily have the payoff right away. But could be very important for our long term well being, life fulfillment and satisfaction. And for the person who we wanna become. So the takeaways, a few. Winners quit on the right thing. Well, winners quit on the wrong thing to keep the right thing in. So if there is something that feels misaligned, figure out how to quit it. It's not worth it.

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  What is worth it is the things that feel truly aligned with who you are becoming. And if there is some commitment, ask. Maybe the other person doesn't really care about that or other people, right? Just like with my friend, they actually won as the best team because there were only two of them left. And they kept running and they made the most mileage for such a small team. So it worked out for everyone because I was actually true to myself and I said, do you really care about me staying? And they didn't. And it worked out for everyone. And I got to do more of my writing and content, which actually working on improving. And I actually care about, right?

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  So winners don't quit on the right thing, but they do quit on all the wrong things a lot. Then displacement principle that you can use in your nutrition or fitness or sleep. Put more right things on your plate and you're gonna have less space for the wrong stuff.

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  Test it for a couple of weeks and see how much better it works than the diet. You never could keep for more than a week or two. And then for the door in you, just because you can do it, doesn't mean you need to put on your schedule. In fact, most of the things, if you adore on your schedule right now are worth your commitment, your greed, your genius and your time. So look at your calendar today, February 1st, great day to reflect. Well, it might be some other day for you when you're listening to this, but look at everything on your calendar and ask yourself, why am I doing this?

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  To what goal, value, my identity does this contribute? And if you don't really have a good answer, guess what? Quit it. So the right things that you align with.

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  Have the space to take roots. And that's it for today, guys. Hope this podcast was really helpful. Don't forget to rate a review, to send it to a friend who again might be piling up things on their plate, not really ever having time for what fulfills them. Share this podcast with that friend. Rate a view to help more people, to help this podcast to reach more people in the world. We are in 11,000 cities and hoping to get into a lot more with your help. So please share, rate, review. And again, winners do quit on the wrong things.

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  Displace what's wrong with the right thing and the right thing will stick for far longer with you. And do the calendar audit. What are all the things on your calendar? And is there a deeper why for doing them? And guys, thank you for your attention. Thank you for learning. Until next time, keep growing.