Tay Lautner: The Realities of Pregnancy

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Tay Lautner. Tay opens up about the highs and lows of sharing her pregnancy journey, navigating a changing body and the commentary that comes with it, and learning to quiet the negative self-talk. She also shares how she and Taylor are preparing for their biggest chapter yet. Enjoy!

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• 2:06Speaker 00

  What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Tay Lautner, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  We both just start crying.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  Guys, we just got in the room together and like, the pregnancy hormones, we both were like, I feel so safe.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  I know that if one of us has to pee during this.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Because right now, I, last time I was with my doctor, she was like, oh girl, like that baby is right on your bladder. And I was like, perfect.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  So it's a safe space.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  Whatever you need.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I will let you know.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  I realized, last time we were together, you and your husband came on, you guys were newlyweds, and Matt and I weren't even married.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  That's kinda crazy.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  And now we're pregnant.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  We were like, in like, completely different stages of life.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  Right?

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:57Speaker 00

  And now look at us. I remember when you announced, and I was obviously so excited for you and Taylor, and my first thought was, oh my God, I'm so happy for them. And then my second thought was, oh my God, are our kids gonna be like friends at the lake together? Okay, that's what I can't see. She's crying. No, literally.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Oh, stop.

• 3:18Speaker 00

  I know.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  They're gonna be like little, in the little life, little vest jacket thing. Okay, yep. Okay, next point, keep going.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  So I just was like, oh my God. So for anyone that doesn't know, Tay and I have lake houses like, right basically next to each other. And I just couldn't help but think like, oh my God, it's gonna be great. So, summer, you're gonna be by the lake. Talk to me about what an ideal lake day looks like for you as my pregnant friend.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh, I mean, I'm, I feel like I'm kinda turning into more of a lake girl than a beach girl.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  100%.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Like, I'm really enjoying the lake. I honestly think like, a really nice, I love a Sprite, so either like a crisp little Sprite with lime, or like a cute little mocktail.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  My mocktail game, I have been thriving. I said the other day to someone, I was like, I just miss a spicy margarita. And they're like, you can make it without the alcohol, Alex. And I was like, you're so right.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  What a thought.

• 4:14Speaker 00

  With the heen on the rim, like, oh my God.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Taylor just made, it's a lychee mocktail, I don't know, he looked it up, but it's literally like a lychee soda thing, like soda water, and then it's pineapple concentrate and frozen pineapples with a heen rim.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  I also, and I don't know about you, I've been like, loving not drinking.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  I will say though, being around people that are drinking, I'm a little bit more like, okay, this is gonna remind me never to drink again in my life.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, the tolerance is like, to be around that.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  The whole thing. Okay, if you're by the lake, is Taylor cooking? Are you cooking? Like, who's the chef?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Oh, Taylor's definitely cooking. Honestly, Taylor, there's hot dogs on the grill, because I've, hot dog has been my new, hot dogs and hamburgers.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  The hamburgers.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 00

  Okay, what are some like, random cravings you've been having recently?

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think the most recent one has been Girl Scout cookies, because I just got Girl Scout cookies.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  What kind?

• 5:08Speaker 02

  I can't even, the Samoa's, the one with the peanut butter thing in them.

• 5:12Speaker 00

  Any Girl Scout cookie is gonna hit right where we need it.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  Another thing that Matt said, and I thought it was so cute, is when I told him that you guys were pregnant, he was like, oh my God, I feel like me and Taylor are really gonna bond, because I feel like we're both gonna be really good with kids and activities. And I was like, why are they so giving? Like, camp counselor, like, Taylor's out there getting the boat. Like, I feel like that's, that's gonna be the vibe.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  They, I feel like they will, will completely thrive in that.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  What kind of dad do you think Taylor is gonna be?

• 5:43Speaker 02

  We always say he's gonna be the parent that gives the kids what they want. Like, I say no, and he says yes.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  Really?

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I'm really curious to see like, how that plays out, if that actually happens.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  That's actually interesting, because Matt and I have talked about that. And I'm like, I think in the younger years, I'm gonna say yes, and Matt's gonna say no, but then the minute they get into like, socializing in terms of like, middle school to high school, I'm gonna be the one that's like psychologically analyzing, like, you're not going to the party because of this. And then Matt's gonna be like, I don't care, do whatever you want.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:13Speaker 00

  So it will, it will flip at one point.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:15Speaker 00

  But for now, you think you're gonna be a little bit more of the hardo.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Why do I also feel like Taylor is going to teach my child how to do a backflip?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  Let's start with a cartwheel.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  I know.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  Okay, tell me everything. Like, when you found out, what was your reaction?

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, so we, it was honestly special, because, so, I guess before, like, rewinding to finding out I was pregnant, um, we weren't trying, I mean, we weren't doing anything to like, prevent it, and had it honestly for a while. And I was just like, you know, I wasn't at the place where I was like, I'm ready. I wasn't tracking my ovulation, anything like that. Um, and I have PCOS, which is now PMOS, but PCOS. Um, and so my periods have been irregular for a long time. So my cycle before I got pregnant was 40 days long. So like, I literally went 40 days without a period. And then this next one happened,

• 7:10Speaker 02

  and I was on day, maybe like 36. So I wasn't technically like, late. And I wasn't really feeling anything, uh, like weird. Uh, but I had a microneedling appointment. And you can't do that if you're pregnant.

• 7:25Speaker 00

  You cannot.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  And I was just like, let me just take a test just to be sure. I was like, I'm not gonna tell Taylor, I'm not gonna like, because I had a pregnancy scare last January, like, I fully thought I was pregnant and like, cried to Taylor after a podcast taping. I was like, holding it in for like, two weeks. I was like, if I don't get my period by this date, then I'm telling Taylor. And we had to go to CVS. I ended up not being pregnant, but that showed me that, the next morning, I woke up and I wasn't pregnant. I was like, oh, I'm actually like sad that I'm not pregnant. I think I'm ready. Took me a whole year. Fast forward to the following January. Um, but anyways, I didn't tell him, and he like, went to go, he's the chef, so he went to the Mark Butcher shop to go pick up meats for dinner. And I took the test while he was gone, pee on the stick. I go do my whole

• 8:10Speaker 02

  like, skincare routine of like, the face, like, just like, very in-depth, like, everything. I all, I like, forget that the test is there, like, I'm not thinking about it, because I don't think I'm pregnant. But I'm like, let me just make sure.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Right, because we got our microneedling.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, there can always be a chance. Um, and it said pregnant. And I was like, interesting. No, I literally like, froze for like, five seconds. And I was like, okay. And then I Google, can you have a false positive? And it basically was like, no. And I was like, okay. So I took another one. And then it also said pregnant. This whole time Taylor's gone, I'm not texting him, because I'm not gonna text him and tell him. And so I'm just like, standing there, just kind of in shock, and like, obviously excited, because I know that's, we're married, and that's what we want. So, but I'm literally just like, frozen. And he gets home, I literally, he brings like, the groceries in, I throw everything in the fridge, and I just pull the test out and hand it to him. And he's just standing

• 9:10Speaker 02

  there, and he's like, what is this? And I was like, uh-huh. He goes, how did this happen? And I was like, okay, well, you know how that happened, honey.

• 9:20Speaker 00

  Such a man. Wait, how did this happen? You're like, how do you think it happened, Taylor?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Like, whoa, this one day. Um, so we didn't get to experience finding out together, which like after the fact, you know, telling him it was like, we still got to like celebrate and have like, you know, four days of us just kind of like being in shock and being like, okay, like we're doing this. So when it came to the gender reveal, I was so excited to get to like do that together. And it truly was like the most, like the most fun thing to get to do. I love going to gender reveal parties, but I literally could never like have one for me. That pressure is just like.

• 10:03Speaker 00

  Okay. So how did you do it?

• 10:04Speaker 02

  So we literally just looked online on the test. We got the test. We actually had it for probably like,

• 10:11Speaker 02

  probably like a week.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  Man, you didn't look. We, why? The minute, the minute I got mine, I was like, I want to know.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  I think it was just cause like, I don't, I don't even know. I feel like we were both kind of just like, not scared, but we were just like, oh my gosh, like it was just going to make it so much more real.

• 10:30Speaker 00

  That's so true.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  I think, um, but finding out and like seeing girl on there, it was Taylor really wants girls. Like he's like girl dad. He wants all girls. I was kind of, I didn't really care.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  But it was like truly the sweetest moment ever. Like it was like the most, like the coolest thing I think we're ever going to get to do. Obviously when I birthed a baby, that's going to be very special and probably even more special, but it's the coolest thing.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  It makes me emo when you're talking about this because I agree with you. There's something so nerve wracking when you're going to find out the sex and I was similar to you. I found out without Matt. And so I was in the bathroom, same thing, like took the test, like wasn't really sure, didn't think it was going. And then when it happened, I had that same thing where you're like, it's a little bit of mix of shock.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  And I think it doesn't take, it takes a second to like set in.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  Um, but the gender makes it so real and I cannot believe you sat on that for a week. When I tell you, my doctor was like somewhere that there wasn't good service. And she's like, Alex, I tried to call you to talk, cause I told her like, just call me.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  And she's like, I, I feel bad. Like I don't want to just text it to you. And I was like, text it. And she's like, no, Alex, like, she's like texting back like, no, no, I can call you in about 20. I was like, text it. Like, no, do it. I was like, and so I'm laying there and I remember I got the document.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  And I'm like, okay, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. Click on the document. I see the sex. And Matt's in a meeting and I text Matt and I'm like, come home. And he's like, I've got a couple more meetings. And I was like, do you want to know the gender of your baby? And he calls me immediately and he's like, what? I'm in the middle of a meeting. There's like 20 people in the room. And I was like, do you want to know the gender? You better get in the car. He leaves the meeting.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  Racing home. Cause I was like, I'm not telling you over text. So the fact that you guys got to be together, that's so, oh my God, I'm so happy for you. That's really exciting. Oh my God, oh my God, oh God. Um, after you and Taylor found out about the pregnancy, who did you tell first?

• 12:40Speaker 02

  We told, first we told two of our like couple best friends. Um, we were actually going on a birthday trip for Taylor and I was like very much in first trimester trenches.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  So we kind of had to tell them, we were also going somewhere where there was like wine. So like, I, then I wouldn't be drinking. So we kind of had to tell them, but I also did want to tell them because I've walked through miscarriage with like multiple of my friends and both sides of like not knowing they were pregnant and them having to tell me that they lost, they were pregnant and lost the baby. And then the other side of finding out they were pregnant and then them like getting to like have that together and then them having to tell me. So after kind of like walking through those, both Taylor and I decided, I was like, I need to just tell like a couple of my close friends

• 13:36Speaker 02

  because God forbid, like, you know, anything does happen. I don't want to have to deliver like the happy and sad news at the same time. So we were going to tell them anyways, but that's who we told first.

• 13:47Speaker 00

  Isn't that so, it's so crazy, just the emotional aspect. And I think everyone has to do it at their own time. I think it's so crazy when people are like, you, you should not tell people before the X amount mark. And it's like, I think anyone to do whatever they want to do when it comes to that. Because I'm also similar to you. Like if something bad was going to happen, like I would want the people closest to me to know. So I'm not going to like hide it in case something does, but like just being open with the people you love. I think for me was also similar, like of just like a mindset.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 00

  Your pregnancy announcement back in April was beyond gorgeous and you captioned it, what's better than two Taylor Lautners? I screamed when I read that caption. Who came up with that?

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Taylor.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  So.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Like on day five of knowing we were pregnant, he was like, I have the best caption. And I was like, great.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  You obviously don't have to share, but do you have a name picked out?

• 14:42Speaker 02

  There are definitely some.

• 14:44Speaker 00

  You've got some that works. Yeah. Okay. And is it like, you've got like 20 or are you like in that like 10 to five category?

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Like three. Yeah, like three to five.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  Okay. Yeah. Was there any consideration of naming your child Taylor?

• 14:57Speaker 02

  It may be in the mix. We will find out when the baby comes. It's also just like so much pressure naming a human. Like this is like the name of this human's going to have for the rest of their life.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  And there's like so much public like conversation already around it for you guys. It's like.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  No, I feel like if I don't name my baby Taylor, then it's literally going to cancel me. I'm going to get canceled.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  Like you had the perfect opportunity.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  But I'm like, guys, are they really going to want that name?

• 15:27Speaker 00

  I think it'd get a little confusing.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Cause it's already confusing.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Right. Like, do we have Taylor? And then we have Tay.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  Tay Jr. Baby Tay.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  We, we so always joke that if we're having a boy, we'd name him Taylor and call him TJ.

• 15:43Speaker 00

  I'm, I'm so stressed for you guys, honestly, in that. What did it feel like finally announcing and sharing your pregnancy to the world? Cause friends is one thing, girl.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  And then hitting upload on that. Talk to me.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  It was truly like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I think I was just so stressed. Someone was going to like leak it, honestly. I think I was a little scarred from our wedding because our like first look, someone was like photographed us having our first look.

• 16:14Speaker 00

  No.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  And like, yeah. And it came out like the day after the wedding and it was like, that was the first time I'd ever experienced, obviously, you know, paparazzi and stuff has followed us around before, but that was the first time it was really something that was so intimate.

• 16:28Speaker 00

  I'm so sorry.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  So personal. So that was like, that was not fun for me. Um, so I think that kind of was like.

• 16:36Speaker 00

  Understand it. Right.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  It was making me nervous. Like every time I go see my OB, like I, you know, a Taylor has come with me to every appointment. And I'm like, there's obviously like girls my age in the office. And so.

• 16:49Speaker 00

  I'm so happy that you were able to control the narrative and do it that way because I agree with you. Like you have having an experience that is, it's an invasion of privacy, right? That was like a moment between the two of you that you, and also a first look, like, it's not even like a shot into like the, the after party. It's like your first look between the two of you. So pregnancy in that, oh my God, I'm, I'm so happy that it didn't get leaked for you. Um,

• 17:18Speaker 02

  let's talk about the first trimester. Because I don't know about you, but no one could have prepared me.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 17:27Speaker 00

  And there's like almost, give me one word to describe your first trimester.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  It's horrific.

• 17:34Speaker 00

  Trauma.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Literally just. At anything bad.

• 17:39Speaker 00

  Tough. Yeah. One symptom I know you have talked about on your podcast is your nausea. And I also had,

• 17:49Speaker 00

  I don't even like to talk about it almost because it just brings it back.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:52Speaker 00

  That nausea was so traumatizing, truly. Like it felt hard to live my life while experiencing that. Can you talk to me a little bit about how it impacted your day to day and just overall the first trimester?

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. I think that, and I honestly feel like since I've been pregnant, I've kind of been shitting on pregnancy. But I think that's just because I had such a skewed view of pregnancy from what I saw online. Like I just feel like it's supposed to be what I, what I saw and what I was thinking, it was going to be the, you know, this most beautiful thing and I'm going to be glowing and I'm going to feel the best I've ever felt and be so confident and blah, blah, blah. Like all that. I have not felt any of those things. And it took me a while to like feel comfortable to say that, but I really think, cause the internet is just so quick to be like, oh, you're not grateful. You're pregnant. Do you know how many women would like kill to be pregnant?

• 18:43Speaker 02

  And I completely understand that, but I think two things can be true. Like obviously I'm so grateful and excited to be having this baby with like my favorite human in the world, but I don't like what it's doing to my body. Like it's not an enjoyable experience.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  I feel like in my life, I've seen so many women, obviously be pregnant, right? And you see them on the street, you have friends, you have family, but nothing prepares you. And now I look at pregnancy so differently. Like when I see a woman on the street now, I'm like, I need to do something for her immediately. Like it just changes your perspective and I agree with you. There's so many hardships that come with it. Um, and it feels weird to talk about. I agree. Because of how many women struggle to even get pregnant. So to be pregnant, there's like this pressure to just shut up and be grateful.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  Um, talking about the nausea, because I, I also was like, I don't know how women work in their first trimester.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  No, I'm like, can the mat leave needs to be, there needs to be like a first mat leave. And then maybe there's like three months where he could do stuff in the middle and then the mat leave needs to like, yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  Because it's like hard to do anything.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  No, my, my best friend is a labor and delivery nurse and I like, I mean, I couldn't imagine still like working in the hospital, having my nursing job, doing this. And I'm like, she's like, my, my best friend's literally holding like women's legs up as they're pushing a baby. And she worked until like, maybe like two weeks before she gave birth.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  She is a superhero.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  But the whole time she was in her first trimester, she was dying in the hospital and like, she's throwing up in between like seeing her patients. And I'm like, how?

• 20:17Speaker 00

  How does this work? You, um, you talked about, cause yes, there's the nausea, but then there's the hunger. You shared that you would wake up starving in the middle of the night. What meals were you able to have during your first trimester? And then what were you also like repulsed by?

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like there was a good three weeks where I had like food aversions to literally just everything. And all I could eat was carbs. It was just like crackers, a grilled cheese toast and watermelon was my, that was like the refreshing, like I needed a cult. I also never drank ice water, but my first trimester, like I just, I just like pour a glass of water. I've never been like, I need ice. I was like so much ice everywhere.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  I wouldn't even chew on ice at times. I was like, this shit slaps so hard.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  No, I lived in my migraine cat. It was just like, I just was not, you're, you're not present. Like you're literally just trying to get like through the day. And then it's like, you can't even think about the next day.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  What pregnancy symptoms have surprised you?

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Skin tags, the little things. I have like a couple on my neck, but they're like tiny, like you can't see them, but I can feel them.

• 21:26Speaker 00

  I feel one, like I was feeling one on my side today and I'm like, what is that? Good to know.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  No, that's apparently something they are supposed to go away after that one. It's just like so many, your nipples changing so early on. I was not expecting.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  My boobs, I'm like.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  No, I'm, I'm a double D and I just know milk can be hit and I'm really scared.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  Thank you to Klavio for sponsoring today's segment. So one of the most incredible parts of my job has been watching the community that has formed first from Call Her Daddy and then expanding the Unwell world. Pretty early on, I started thinking, okay, how do we actually get everyone together? Like physically in a space? And that is why when we started Unwell, the media company, one of the first things that I knew we wanted to build out was our live events business. Basically that would be a way to bring this community together in real life and create experiences that people could be a part of. We want people to walk through those doors of one of our Unwell live events and we want them to feel like they have been transported somewhere completely different.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  We have red carpets, photo moments, creators you love, merch, free products. Once the event is ready to announce, that is when basically we have to reach the daddy gang and let everyone know this is what's happening and you can be a part of it. And this is where a partner like Klavio has been so important for us as a company at Unwell. The size of this community has grown beyond what just like, let's say a traditional email list or a manual outreach could ever handle. And so we needed a way to make sure that everyone has the opportunity to know when an event is happening. Klavio has also helped us just build an email marketing system that allows us to communicate with this incredible community at scale.

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  So no one feels left out and everyone has the opportunity to be a part of the next Unwell event. And so many people, which is one of my favorite parts, come to our Unwell events alone, knowing that they will meet like-minded other women when they arrive. One of my favorite examples, shout out, is the Boston Daddy Gang. These women met through one of our live events. They created a group chat and to this day, there is a group of women who are still friends from meeting at an Unwell event and they have gone on group trips together even, which I love so much. But I could not do this without my incredible team at Unwell and partners like Klavio who help us scale these experiences, right? To reach more people. Thank you to my team at Unwell and thank you to Klavio for helping us make these moments possible.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  And I will say, this is just the beginning. As Call Her Daddy continues to grow, staying connected to the daddy gang will always be one of the most important parts of what we do. You can build more personalized valuable customer relationships with Klavio. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Haagen Dazs. Okay, it is so important to take some me time. You know what I mean, guys? So take your sweet time and enjoy rich, smooth, creamy ice cream from Haagen Dazs. Because honestly, when was the last time you actually slowed down and let yourself have a moment for you? You have to try their new cherry dark chocolate bar.

• 24:40Speaker 00

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• 25:22Speaker 00

  You on your podcast were open about, you have always been open about your own mental health struggles. And then recently you kind of alluded to this low moment that you experienced during your first trimester. Are you comfortable kind of sharing a little bit more about that moment?

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm kind of like on a mission to talk about this more because I obviously share so much about my mental health and everything I've walked through and having PTSD and depression and everything I've gone through that. And when I talked about this, and I honestly didn't even like really share much. It was the most like DMs and messages from women I've ever received in my like entire time doing the internet. Like truly, it was so crazy how many women really feel that same way. And I think it's because we're not expecting our bodies to change as quickly, especially for me. So like first trimester, I have amenophobia and I hate throwing up. Like I have a fear of throwing up.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  So every time I would get nauseous, I would eat. So I never threw up in my first trimester, but every time I was nauseous, I would eat. And so I gained like 12 to 15 pounds in like three weeks, maybe. And so nothing fit so early on. And I was just felt, just like I, I mean, I cried. I was like literally standing naked in front of the mirror. I think I was like about to get in the shower and Taylor was in the bathroom with me and I literally just like started crying. So you just don't recognize yourself. And I think we don't talk about this because we're not supposed to talk about the first trimester because you're not supposed to talk about it till, you know, everything is safe and fine. But then you kind of have amnesia and forget that that even happened because you're just have pregnancy brain and you're thinking about the future.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  But I mean, it's, it continues to happen to me even now. Now that I fully like have a bump, it feels better, which sounds like funny, but I think for so long, it was just kind of like fluff and I just like could not recognize my body. Like it was just everything.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Thank you for sharing that because I agree with you that like, again, no one, I don't, I, my whole algorithm, I feel like right now is pregnancy. And there's so much that is so beautiful that I'm seeing, but I'm also like, oh my God, like I, I'm not seeing any of the more honest shit that I'm talking about with my girlfriends who have had children or are pregnant right now. And that reality of looking yourself in the mirror and being like, honestly like scared because you're like, and I'm not saying you're thinking, again, like I'm prefacing it because it's like, we're grateful, but it's like, I'm not saying that you're not saying like, oh my God, I don't want to be pregnant.

• 28:09Speaker 00

  But you have that feeling where you're like, what did I do? Like this is so scary. Like what is happening to me? And you're so, it's, you're so out of control of your body and you really are out of control with your emotions and like your mental health and everything that's going on. And it's hard, like my husband's been amazing. It sounds like Taylor's been so amazing, but there's also only so much that like a man and also just someone who's not in your body can do for you.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:34Speaker 00

  Like, how has he been supportive during this time?

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I mean, you know, Taylor, he's literally just like the nicest human and is so, it's been, it's honestly been so cool to walk through this time together. Cause I'm, I think similar to you, like we are both like very independent people. And even, even my therapist is like, you should rely on Taylor more. But I'm like, I'm just like only child. I'm like hardworking. I'm like very driven. I'm like, no, like I, if I can do it, I'm going to do it. Like I don't want to, even if, you know, I should have Taylor do it, I'm going to do it. So it really made me, because I, I just could not, I couldn't move for a while. It really made me have to rely on him to do stuff for me.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  And it was the first time, like obviously, you know, he, we have a great partnership and I just, I just do things on my own. And it was really special to get to do that.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  With him. It was sweet.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  It is beautiful to like, watch your partnership evolve in a way that you could have never anticipated because you didn't know you were going to be laid up and like down bad. And then all of a sudden you're looking at him in a different light. It really makes you just so appreciate the partner that you choose in life. Oh, my God.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  I think that's like the, one of the biggest things I would scream. And Kylie Kelsey talked about this on her podcast and I heard it like sometime last year. And she was just like, your husband is the only person in your family you choose. Like you don't choose your siblings. You don't choose your parents. You don't choose your kids. Like you choose who you're gonna marry. And I always say like, when I married Taylor, I married him because I know he's gonna be great with kids. And I know like, he's gonna be like, that's, like, I see that.

• 30:17Speaker 00

  Right. I want to talk about body image a little bit more because something I was thinking about is, and I saw a woman post about this, I think on TikTok, and it made me just have an aha moment where it was like, she basically said, I have never had more people comment on my body so freely than when you're pregnant. And it's either like, oh, you're carrying well, or like, oh, my gosh, don't worry, like, I gained 20 pounds in my first trimester. So you're like, so are you calling me fat? Like, oh, your, oh, your face doesn't look as like, there's such a commentary that people feel so comfortable. Oh, the bump is this or that. And you're like, wait. And so it's such an odd feeling

• 30:59Speaker 00

  where everyone feels entitled to kind of comment on how a woman is carrying.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  And it's very strange. Not that we don't already do that to non-pregnant women, but it feels heightened when you are pregnant. And so, um, I want to talk about, I know you were just kind of like alluding to like, you know, when you were looking in the mirror and everything, but like, did you have expectations of your body and your pregnancy that ended up going very differently? And like, what are some examples of that for you?

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, everything. I didn't think I was, I mean, I've already gained 35 pounds. So I'm like, I didn't think I was gonna gain that much weight, which I don't even, I think also just because my mom, she was one of those people that you could not even tell she was pregnant and had a great pregnancy and just like from the back, she was just like, I wear dresses she wore when she was pregnant with me, like, not pregnant, like in before pregnancy.

• 31:51Speaker 00

  You're comparing.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, there's, I think there's so much comparison and I still do it now. I mean, obviously I have a better relationship with it because the more I've been open and talking about it, the more I feel better about it. But still, like, I just was not, I wasn't expecting to like, almost not even fit in Taylor's jeans. Like, it's just, it's, yeah, it's just a really interesting thing. My girlfriend and I were just talking about, she's also pregnant. I'm so thankful. I have a few girlfriends that are pregnant and we're like, right around the same time. And so it's been really special to like, be able to like, text each other, like, how we're feeling, can we eat this? Like, is, does anyone have this happening yet? So I'm so thankful for it. But she was telling me

• 32:31Speaker 02

  how she, which is something me and our other friend have both experienced of people telling her, like, oh, my gosh, I knew you're like, when, like, after she announced, oh, my gosh, I knew you were pregnant. And like, she's like, oh, like, how? And they're like, I could just tell, like, and not get, in like, just commenting that she'd gained weight. So it's like, okay, so you're, you're telling me that you thought I like, look fat? Yeah. And it was just like, so many people and I've, the more I've talked about this with some of my girlfriends, the more it actually like, really does. Because when you start to tell people your clothes are snug on you. So it's just like, why, why are we, like, give another, like, give another example. Like, I thought, me and my girlfriend Natasha, we

• 33:16Speaker 02

  both, we both knew, had a feeling the other was pregnant because of the symptoms we were having. We would hang out and we were both just like, but like, not telling the other one yet. Or like, it was just very similar vibes of what we were doing, or we were texting about bloating, but we hadn't told each other we were pregnant. So we're like, give an example of, like, don't just say, I, I just had a feeling like you looked, you looked pregnant. I also am kind of struggling with the glowing thing. I feel better with it now. But when someone's like, you're glowing, I'm like, no, I just have gained 30 pounds and my face is fuller.

• 33:53Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Thank you, but.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  Glowing? Because I'm like, I know my skin doesn't look great.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  She does not look good.

• 33:58Speaker 00

  Like, I woke up this morning and I was like, I think there's like, five pounds of makeup on this one, just giant situation at the right here. And I'm like, I know it's not, I'm actually physically glowing.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:08Speaker 00

  So explain to me what you mean by that.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  What do you mean by glowing?

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Why?

• 34:12Speaker 00

  Let's get into that. No, that's such a good point. And it's, it is so crazy because I also understand to anyone that's watching that isn't pregnant is like, oh, my God, you're, you're probably thinking like, and maybe, I don't know, I've never, I've never made a comment about a woman's like, pregnant body before, but I'm looking back before I experienced pregnancy. I don't think I had an appreciation for the amount that a woman is going through with her body. And so I now look at those comments as a pregnant woman. And before I would have been like, oh, she just said you're glowing. Like, it's, like, but now I'm like, no, no, no, no, what you don't understand about a woman who's pregnant is like, everything is in turmoil in her head and in her

• 34:55Speaker 00

  body. And so for you to say anything about her physical appearance, it's just, even if you say, like, she's looking great and she's not feeling great.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 00

  Just shut up.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:04Speaker 00

  But it's hard for people to not comment.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  I feel like it's kind of like, you know, people don't really know what to say if someone's grieving, if there's been a loss or something. I honestly feel like there's some similarity of if you haven't walked through it. I also have been getting really stressed out when people are like, it's gonna go by so fast. Enjoy every moment. Because I had a full blown panic attack the night before our wedding, because so many people like, had told me, they're like, tomorrow's gonna go by so quick, it's gonna be over. And I was like, so panicked because I was like, I don't want it to go by, like, I wanted to, I want to remember all of these moments. And so when people have been telling me that, I'm like, like, I told, I think it was probably like, a couple of months ago, I,

• 35:45Speaker 02

  like, I now have like, I'm normally a very chill, it takes a lot to make me mad. I'm like, so even keel, like, nothing pisses me off. And now the hormones, I'm like, I'm done. Very like, goodbye. I snapped at Taylor for the first time last week and I felt so.

• 36:01Speaker 00

  Over what?

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Literally nothing. Literally nothing. It's just, it's, no, literally, we were leaving my OB's office and I hadn't had enough food, I think was partially the problem. And he's just like, so sweet. He drops me off and I run in and like, grab the food and then I run back out to the car because it's a busy street. Don't worry, everyone, he would get, he would be getting the food if it wasn't a busy street. So I run in and grab it and then I run back out and the door is locked and he rolls the window down and I'm like, standing there trying to open the door. And he's like, you're gonna need to grab utensils. And I was like, I did. And I was like, we got in the car and I was like, oh, my gosh. And he was like, for the rest of the ride, I'm your chauffeur. We're not gonna talk. And five minutes go by, I was like, I'm sorry.

• 36:41Speaker 00

  Wait, also, I love that that's your version of snapping at him. I did.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  No, I'm not, I'm like, so, I'm the most, you guys, Taylor and I have never like, been in an argue, like, we don't, like, I'm just like, I just like, talk through things. It takes a lot to piss me off.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  You gave him the demon eyes.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  I know, I did. He, and it like, I think, like, he was like, I am your Uber today.

• 37:01Speaker 00

  He made a shocked face. I was thinking about that too. I know. And I remember when I interviewed you guys, Taylor has publicly talked about his own body image struggles. Has he been able, I know it's not comparable, but like, has he been able at all to talk to you and, and relate with you in any capacity that's been helpful in that realm?

• 37:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I think there's definitely a level of relatability there, even though it is something that's completely different. Um, but it is something that I've struggled with, you know, posting my body publicly or like, how I go about that. But it's really sweet. I was talking about laying out at the lake and I was saying how I'm just, I, I said something along the lines of like, I'm just gonna be a big pregnant lady laying out there. And he goes, no, you're just a pregnant lady. And I was like, oh, that's really nice. I was like, I need to talk to myself that way more. I think that's honestly the biggest thing. And that's something I keep trying to tell myself and every time I don't, I just like smack myself on the wrist. But when I see other pregnant women,

• 38:04Speaker 02

  I've actually never thought some, like, a pregnant woman was fat. I've never been like, look at her arms, look at the cellulite. Like, I've never thought that. And that's all I see in myself. Like, so it's, I'm really trying to like.

• 38:16Speaker 00

  Talk to me about the negative self-talk and like, some of the darker thoughts and then how you've been able to pull yourself out of them.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, yeah, I, I just, I think it's hard to because you're so hormonal and you can talk with people. Obviously, I think having my girlfriends that are pregnant too, has been nice to be able to talk about. But there's so many things that I notice more now. And it's something that I've never really struggled with. Um, so, like, to this degree. And so it's been just a really unique experience to try to walk through it and try to also walk through it somewhat rationally, because there's no rationale.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  I, I went through, no, no, no. I went through a phase where like, I really like, was not wanting to look in the mirror. And I would be, like, if I was unchanging to like, change for better or something like. In the past, maybe I'd be like naked brushing my teeth and I was like avoiding it. And I remember like, I was also like really not wanting to look at my boobs. Like it was freaking me out, just like everything that's happening. And I was, and it was almost like subconsciously happening and I wasn't aware. And then I remember one night I was like in the bathroom with Matt and he was coming in and I was naked. And then I was like, oh my God, I want to go put a shirt on. And Matt was like, what's

• 39:42Speaker 00

  wrong? And I was like, oh my God, I was about to like cover up.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Because I don't know, like, I just don't feel confident or sexy at all right now.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  And Matt was like, oh my Alex, like you are pregnant, like you look so beautiful. Like, why are you not? And I, and in that moment, obviously started crying.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:02Speaker 00

  And to have my husband just be like, similar to that Taylor comment of like, you're a pregnant woman. That was so helpful, but I need to do that more for myself is what I guess we're saying.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I also think, I think too, the more I've been trying to like, I had that same thing. And I've been trying to be naked more in front of Taylor because I'm like, I need to just like, I need to like, accept it. Cause I think it's also hard to, and thank God my girlfriend, like I texted, remember I texted my girlfriends in the first trimester when we were like, maybe starting to feel better, but not. And I was like, is anyone having sex? Because I'm like,

• 40:37Speaker 00

  I remember one of my friends saying to me like, oh my God, first trimester, like it's going to be hard to have sex because you want to vomit on them and you can't even think about anything. Literally, sorry, but going inside of you while you're like, everything wants to come out, like the whole thing. But I've had women be like, but that second trimester, you will be so back, you'll be so, and I'm like, I'm like, I don't know if that's how I'm feeling. And also then getting comfortable. I felt like with when I was then like in the mood.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:07Speaker 00

  Getting comfortable with being pregnant and having sex and you're like,

• 41:11Speaker 02

  You're like, also, how does this work?

• 41:13Speaker 00

  It's tough. It's a weird psychologically, aside from the body, actually, and like all the things that we're going through psychologically, it feels like you're trying to like reattach your brain to your old brain to be like, no, we're still here. This, we are the same person. It's just going to feel very different. And for me, that's been like a journey of like, I, I felt a little bit like my brain was over here looking at myself.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 00

  Almost from like a third POV. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we got to realign here.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  I just have to remind myself of Taylor, it's, which I'm sure Matt is like the most like reassuring of everything. So I, I honestly just have to be like, brain shut up. Like Taylor loves me and doesn't think these thoughts that I think about myself.

• 41:58Speaker 00

  That is why, because I want to talk about parenting now, but again, that is why I think having a partner in your life that can be the light in your dark moments. Like that has been so eye opening to me of like, Matt's always been supportive and, and similar to Taylor, like, but it's that like added level. I feel like they're stepping up in a way that is just making me be like, okay, I always knew Matt was going to be a phenomenal father, but like, I'm not even focused on that right now. I'm like, whoa, you are such a supportive partner to me.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  And that has been instrumental in keeping my mental health where I need it to be. Okay. Let's talk parenting.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 42:40Speaker 00

  As you are getting closer to meeting your baby, have you found yourself just thinking more about the type of parent that you want to be?

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. I, I feel like I've thought about this for like, even before I was pregnant. Cause I'm like, I want, like, I don't want to be best friends with my kids, but I want to be able to have like a close relationship with them and them to feel like they can come to me for anything. And as they're older, even the same thing. So I always like, think about all the time or I'll, I talk about like, Taylor and I will be like, which parent do you think they're going to be like annoyed at more? Who's going to like do that? Like, we always just talk about that. So I feel like it's good to kind of like, I've always been like thinking about it and being aware. But I mean, I, I think, I think I'm just excited, really excited to be a parent. I mean, I've always wanted to be a mom growing up. I'm an only child. So growing up, I was like, I want to be a mom. I want five kids. I don't want

• 43:34Speaker 02

  five kids anymore. Now, honestly, once I went through nursing school and I watched a vaginal birth, I was like, I literally went home and I told Taylor, I was like, I, we're not having children until I forget what that looked like, because this is the only angle I ever want to see. The receiving end is like, as a 22 year old, I think I was in school, like seeing that, like, I was like, I was like, oh my gosh.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  No, no, no, it's, it's eye opening. You're like, I didn't need to see that. I want to live it.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 00

  And like, just like pretend I, yeah, but I want to see it.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:02Speaker 00

  Um, I feel like I agree with you that as you get closer, like you start to, for me, I've also started to think about like, what did my parents get right?

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:10Speaker 00

  That I want to emulate. And then what are things that I want to do differently? Like, is there anything from you and Taylor's childhoods that you guys are like, oh, we really loved how our parents did that? Or like, oh, we want to like, try to like, change it up on this angle.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, I think just putting our kids and as many like sports activities as possible. I was just talking with my mom, because I, both my parents worked like my whole life. And so I went to after school daycare for, until like, I was in high school, junior high. Um, and Taylor didn't have, well, I mean, granted, he also started working. We just had very different childhoods.

• 44:48Speaker 00

  Sharp boy. Come on.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  He was busy. So he wasn't going to after school daycare, but my mom was talking about it. She was like, you know, obviously we were working, but also we didn't want to just put you at home with a babysitter because you were like, you're an only child. So you had exposure to playing with kids and having all those interactions. And I did like every sport under the sun. And I think that's something that we really like, want to just introduce our kids to like, everything. And

• 45:13Speaker 00

  I completely agree with you. I also think with the rise of like technology for kids, I have never felt more adamant of like, we need to put our kids in sports.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  Cause I think there was so much that it taught me, like, even if you're not good at the sport, like there's community and there's resilience and grit and determination. And like, just, there's so much that a kid is taught through that experience that I feel like I am very grateful to look back on the amount that my parents, but it's also a sacrifice from the parents, right? Like, I remember parents that I grew up with would be like, oh my God, why do you have your kids in that sport? That means you have to like, travel for it, or that means you have to like, you can't go away for the whole summer. And my mom was like, well, my kid loves it. And there were certain parents that were like, no, no, we wouldn't do that. Like, we want to go to the beach house or like, we want to go to the beach for the summer. And so that means kids don't have a summer sport. And I took every,

• 46:06Speaker 00

  to each their own, but I think that's where I want to, knowing how much my parents invested in us as kids to do what we loved. I feel so fortunate that I'm like, I want to be there on that sideline with the cooler.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:20Speaker 00

  Cheering like a psychopath.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. So on the other day, I had like packed, I don't even remember what it was for. Oh, golfing. Um, I had like packed a bag with like all of my snacks and stuff for Taylor and a friend we were with was like, uh, he was like, you're going to be such a great soccer mom. And I was like, oh, that's like the best compliment I've ever had. Truly. Like, thank you.

• 46:41Speaker 00

  It's so special.

• 46:51Speaker 00

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• 49:47Speaker 00

  intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. We played the game, who's more likely to, when you and Taylor came on the show. And now I want to play parenting edition. And you're going to either say mom Taylor or dad Taylor.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  Who is more likely to be down to go all out for a family Halloween costume?

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Dad, Taylor.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  Do you think you could ever convince Taylor to do a family Twilight costume?

• 50:15Speaker 02

  It's a good question. I mean, honestly, if I would, I probably, oh my gosh, we would just would not, we wouldn't post it. It would be like a, I could convince him to do it in private for sure and share with our close friends.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  Honestly, I love that.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  You're like, let me know when you do that.

• 50:29Speaker 00

  Let me know. Okay. Who is more likely to be more calm during delivery?

• 50:35Speaker 02

  Oh, I would say me, Mom Tay, because I'm very calm in high stress situations. But also I could see it being the complete opposite and Taylor just really like calming me. I was like, we had to like, figure out like some breathing, like I have to, he has to figure out how to like, how do you figure, there, I have, I still have so many questions.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  There's so much to go.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Like, how do we practice that? Like, how does, how is he equipped? I don't know.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  I'm also picturing Taylor, to anyone that doesn't know this, and I remember when we were at the lake and we were talking, and I literally pointed this out and he was like, oh my God, you remembered it. Taylor has this tendency to stretch. When he's like, what do you say? Like, not anxious, but like, just like.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  It's like he's thinking, it's either when he's nervous or he's like thinking, because I had put him on the spot to tell you about his show. And he then just like spread, I can't tell you, that's actually one of my favorite moments to ever exist. Like, it's so sweet that you even remembered that. And when you were like, oh my God, he's doing it. I was like, wait, he actually is doing it. It was like, the first time I ever interviewed you guys, it was like, after the interview, basically, Taylor was like, or Tay, you were like, he like does this thing when he gets a little anxious that he like stretches. Like, a year later, I see you guys again, and I'm like, watching this man stretch, like on deck, and I'm like,

• 52:00Speaker 02

  you're stretching right now. And his leg was up on me like ledge. And I'm like, Taylor Lautner, put your leg down and calm down. And he literally was like, how did you notice that? And how did you remember that? And I'm like, well, first of all, your groin is up. Groin up, leg is up. He's so funny. Why can I see him doing that in the delivery room? He's like stretching out.

• 52:20Speaker 00

  Oh my gosh. I'll let you know that happens. That would be so funny. Um, okay. Who is more likely to spoil the kids?

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Oh, Dad, Taylor.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  Okay. Who is more likely to document every milestone?

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Mom.

• 52:38Speaker 00

  Cute. Yeah. Who is more likely to be the first person to volunteer to change a diaper?

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm mom. I've changed diapers before. So I think that's, I have a leg up.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  Who's more likely to cheer the loudest at your kids' activities?

• 52:52Speaker 02

  Dad, Taylor.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  Is there a specific sport or activity you guys like really want them to try?

• 52:58Speaker 02

  I mean, I obviously want to put them in dance because that was like my main thing. But also Taylor was telling me, because he's, do you know that he's like a world champion martial artist?

• 53:09Speaker 00

  Of course I do. That's why I said he's going to teach my kid to do a backflip.

• 53:12Speaker 02

  I like forget that was a thing, but he was like, we could put our kids in martial arts. And then I was like them in like the little white. So yeah, probably.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  She's running around in her little outfit.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  No, all of, all of my girlfriends are like, we're putting our kids like, because they're all, they're all going to be so close in age. So we're just going to like, put them in the little sports and soccer too. I think that was, I did soccer for like, that was, I had, I did both at the same time. And then I had to pick one. So I picked dance, but I think just like seeing them like run around.

• 53:38Speaker 00

  Seeing your child at a martial arts class with Taylor Lautner. Oh my God. And then one day them like doing the, bye.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  Um, who is more likely to splurge on unnecessary things? Like, are you buying a lot right now?

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Mom, yes and no. Because everyone's like, just don't, don't stress because you're gonna, I honestly, I haven't had one person told me like, to buy every, like, everyone's been like, you're going to use a quarter of the stuff you actually have. It's actually weird because I feel like I'm such, I'm so type A planner, but with this, I've been so like, not doing research and not like doing stuff. I finally went into baby list and like, if you haven't got, it's like actually getting to like see a stroller. Because like, I don't know where to start. And I'm reading the stuff online. And like, this is so confusing. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  Right.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  And also like, there's that. And then also like, I'm having, I'm fully preparing to like, I'm going to try to breastfeed, but I'm fully like, I'm going into it thinking that this may not work because everyone, the baby may not work. So I'm having formula just like ready. So I'm, I'm prepping for both.

• 54:44Speaker 00

  I love that you just said that because from what I've understood, and obviously we're not there yet, but everyone talks about how there is this enormous pressure to breastfeed. And I have had friends who are like, the nurse that I was working with even pressured me when I was like, it just doesn't feel right. And they're like, you have to do it. You have to do it for six months. And I just feel so passionate of not even being there yet, but knowing that you need to do whatever your body is telling you to do. That's where I think it's like, why do we do that to women? It's like, we're already going to be going through so much postpartum that to then put that pressure and like shame on a woman of like, I've had friends that are like, oh, I would like go to mom groups. And they're like, oh, are you breastfeeding? And they're like, no. And they're like, oh.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, that, that pisses, it makes me so mad. Because it's like, it's also, I was talking with someone about this recently. It's like, you, your baby will benefit from a mom who is present and mentally well in the head. And if breastfeeding is, has, is having a negative effect on your mental health.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  Then you need to listen to your body.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Then you got, yeah.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Um, marriage, in terms of bringing a child into this world, I think there's a lot of changes that a relationship can go through. Have you and Taylor just talked about the impact on your marriage of like, okay, we're bringing this baby into the world. How are we going to still prioritize ourselves? Like, what do you think?

• 56:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, I definitely think that's something we're trying to implement because that's been a really big thing that a lot of my friends have told me is like, you're like, people say like, say goodbye to your marriage, say goodbye to whatever. And I was like, no, like actually, like Taylor and I've been together for eight and a half years. Like I, I like hanging out with just him. Like we do everything together. So that's something that we're definitely preparing for. I think too, we're also just talking about it more. Like, we have good communication, but I definitely just like hold things. I'm like a pusher downer with things. And it's actually funny because before I got pregnant, I was telling my therapist that I want to get better bringing things up when I'm even, it's weird because I'll bring things up if I'm struggling mentally with something, but if it's something that I want to

• 56:55Speaker 02

  like, something that Taylor and I need to talk about or something that, like something deeper, I really struggle with like bringing it up. I don't know why. Like, I didn't come from a family of like conflict. So I think that's why. But he was like, my therapist was like, this is a muscle and you can work through this. And like, we're going to start working on it. And now with the pregnancy hormones, I'm like, great. This is like, I just gonna like say whatever's on my mind because I feel like more, like I just, I don't have as much patience. Or I'm just like, I feel, I don't think I feel more confident saying it, but I'm like, there's less of the like, me being scared to say it. So I feel like we're having a lot of just like, we're just talking openly about what things will look like. And we're have, like, we're just talking so much more.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  And I think it's bringing us even closer before the baby comes, which is going to be special. And I want my kids to like see, see a marriage that is like a healthy marriage and see, like I'd see, you know, my parents are high school sweethearts too. So like, it's cool. Like, I want them to see a marriage that it's the husband and wife, like, and the kids, like, it's not just us not together and us just giving everything to the kids.

• 58:03Speaker 00

  Such a good point. Like, it's almost like, that's why parenting is so crazy because when you are young and you have, or you're having a young child, in your head, people understandably could be like, we need to pour into this kid. And then you can lose sight of your partner, right?

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 00

  But then the kid grows up and is like, I didn't really have an example of love in my household. It was like, my parents were very present, but like, they were a little disconnected. And so it's like, everything affects the child at different stages of life. And so you're so right. Like seeing love in a home, especially when this kid is high school, college, out of college, searching for a life partner. Like you talking about your parents, I feel so fortunate. I have a similar situation. They weren't high school sweethearts, but they're still together. They're so in love. And I know that's a rarity. And I hold on to that and cherish that. And I, Matt and I talk about that all the time, that we're so fortunate to have both of our parents still together.

• 58:59Speaker 00

  But with that comes a lot of fucking work and a lot of communication. And so like, I love that your hormones are making you be like, and another thing. That's great.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Taylor loves it too. Because you know, it took us a while, because when we first started dating, he's just someone that knows what he wants. And he's very confident what he wants to say, wants to talk about it. Now, the first time that ever happened, which I also didn't have conflict in my previous even dating relationships. I was like, oh, like, it's the end of like, it's just the brain turns off. It's the end of the world. I can't even process a thought. Like, I'm just frozen in shock and I need 24 hours. And when Taylor and I first started dating, he took my silence as like, oh, so you like, don't care about what I'm saying. And really it's just quite the opposite. Like, I can't even really process what he's saying. And now, now it's really sweet because he'll like, he'll talk to me like, okay, do you like need a minute? Like, I'm gonna go take a shower and then we can come back down and finish.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  You want to talk about it now? What do you like? It's just, it's really cool. And we have such an amazing relationship where we can communicate how we're feeling.

• 59:57Speaker 00

  That is the best. And I hope for everyone watching and listening that you get to that point where like, you know, you're in a really positive, healthy relationship when you learn each other's patterns essentially, and you learn how each other copes and how you process things. And I was the same with Matt, where like, I needed a minute and he would be like, let's talk it through. And I'd be like, I can't talk about this right now. And that in the beginning of our relationship was our like thing. And now we do the same exact thing that you guys are saying, where he's like, okay, like, let's give a second. And I feel like I've had a lot of people write in that will always say like, we just can't seem to like make it work in that category.

• 1:00:37Speaker 00

  And I think a lot of that just comes from genuine respect and willingness to see the other person and recognize that in order to actually progress and get over this argument or whatever it was, you need to respect the other person and how they process. And you have to meet in the middle to some degree. And sometimes that also means you need to be the one that is a little bit more lenient and the other person. Because when you look at it as like wins.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  And you can't go into it being like, wanting to like dig the dagger in deeper. And I'm so thankful, Taylor and I have never like, I, we just, we just want, we want to be heard. We want the other to hear us. And I'm not trying to like make him feel bad for something. And even if one of us does something that the other doesn't like, it's like, like this, you did this, like, I don't want to make you feel bad, but this is how it made me feel. Like, just like, like productive fighting is, I think, what needs to have, like, you can't, I want Taylor to feel happy and I want him to feel seen and heard. I don't want to like, make him feel worse.

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  No. And the goal is resolution, not a win.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. Okay, I am well into my third trimester now, so I haven't really been able to travel because I need to stay close to my doctor, but spending all this time at home has made me start thinking about all the places that I want to go. Once the baby is here, I have literally been sitting on my couch with the TV on scrolling through Airbnb and planning trips. I am nowhere ready to take yet, but suddenly my vacation priorities, I will say are completely different. Like, does the house have enough bedrooms? Is there a big kitchen? Does the furniture look baby safe? Or is every table covered in, you know, sharp corners? And obviously, we need an extra

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  room for my mom, who has already made it very clear that she will not be leaving my side. She's like, I got you. I'm the babysitter. Okay. And now that it is October, I'm picturing cooler weather, cozy sweaters. Oh, my God, maybe a little cottage where we can escape for a little weekend. That's what I love about booking a home on Airbnb. Whether you're traveling with family, friends, or your partner, everyone has space to relax while still being together. Even if you're traveling for a concert or a game, you have one place where everyone can get together and convene after. Before the holiday season gets busy, treat yourself to one more fall getaway and check out Airbnb while you're planning it.

• 1:03:07Speaker 00

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Revolve. You know, I'm a father and now I'm also a mother. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. I don't think my entire style is gonna change now that I'm a mom, but like, I'm definitely looking at some more sweaters than going out tops. I know what a concept. And I'm like liking my like, I'm evolving. Okay, we're growing. Okay. And so I'm constantly looking for good little outfits to put together for a date night where I'm like, okay, I can be with the baby and then I can go and still have my husband be like, damn, Alex, you look great. There's, there's gonna be a balance. And whether you're building for your future hot mom wardrobe, or you're just trying to honestly find pieces that make you feel put together, that are still comfortable,

• 1:03:51Speaker 00

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• 1:04:33Speaker 00

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• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Speaker 00

  My dogs have been very extra needy. Do you think your dogs know you're pregnant?

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  That's a really good question. And that's not a rapid fire answer. I think they knew that I was really struggling in my first trimester because they were really cuddly because I was not leaving the couch and they were like really chill. But I am trying to figure out if they do.

• 1:05:16Speaker 00

  If they do now.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. One of my dogs definitely wouldn't know because she's like a house cat. And I feel like she's not that with it. The other one.

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  Okay, what is something you cried over while pregnant that you can laugh about now?

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Oh, God. Um, like, everything? Oh, God, just like even the smallest things. Honestly, probably me crying for the first time seeing myself in the mirror. Like, I'm just, I, I can laugh about it now. Because even though I'm still there, it's just like, just laughing through the pain.

• 1:05:46Speaker 00

  Okay, perfect. What is something you wish people would stop asking pregnant women?

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, how are you feeling? But I don't know what a better question.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  Honestly, it's good. Like, how do you think I'm feeling?

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  I have had some people that I don't know touch my belly, though. And I'm like,

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  and God bless my, I, my close friends, like even my mom, every time before she touches, she's like, can I touch your belly? I'm like, thanks, mom. Like, and I'm fine. Like, my girlfriends know, like, I have, like, my close friends, I'm fine if they're, they touch my belly. But if I don't.

• 1:06:15Speaker 00

  The rando, being like, ah, you're like, huh. That is, that is such a good one. It's similar to like how people feel so comfortable to talk about our bodies when we're pregnant. The touching is fucking crazy. You're like, do you want to touch my tits too?

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  I'm just realizing this. I actually can relate to Taylor now, because women would just come up and literally touch his abs.

• 1:06:38Speaker 00

  You're gonna go home and be like, babe, another thing we relate on that we're gonna connect over.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  Different body shapes.

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  They're touching your abs.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  My abs that are like now separated, have yours separated yet? I had my legs up on the wall the other night, and I like sat up to grab something and right here goes down. But this is like squishy in the middle.

• 1:06:58Speaker 00

  That has not happened to me. But when I tell you my ribs, I feel, have you had heartburn?

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  The heartburn that I'm experiencing under like my tits.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09Speaker 00

  It's right in the rib. Oh, my God, like, I've been like rubbing my rib this episode because I'm literally like, it's happening right here. And I'm like, I don't like the way that this feels.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  Um, what has been your experience with pregnancy brain?

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  It's been a struggle. I actually was even gonna ask you this because I feel like it's hard for me. Obviously, one, being someone who's so driven, I've really had to, I like pride myself on being able to do like five things at once and like remember all of these things and do all this stuff. And when that stopped happening, I was like, oh, okay, like, it really made me have to like, sit down and just accept it. I think that's probably something I cried over. And now I'm like, okay with it. And I think it's good that I'm, it's making me chill a little more because I need to. But even like with the podcast, like how every time, and I feel like it's hard for you because you have the paper. I have my laptop, so I will erase a question if I ask it because I then can't remember

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  if I ask a question. And I was just doing an event yesterday with cue cards, and I was like moderating these two panels. And I was like, you bouncing around, you know, like if there's, if I bring up something, then you go to that topic. And I was doing that. And I was like, wait, I actually can't remember if I asked this, who said what?

• 1:08:23Speaker 00

  Like, no, no, no, I will say, like, I, I love that you brought that up because it's almost like I haven't wanted to admit it to myself.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:33Speaker 00

  I remember like two specific interviews I had, I was so frustrated with myself because I was like, trying so hard to lock in, and I couldn't lock in the way that I'm used to. And so every day is different for me. Like, yesterday, I did an interview and I was like, oh, my God, I'm so locked in. Today, I'm more relaxed because I'm like, I knew I could slip up. I know I could be like, can we just sit here in silence? Like, I feel so comfortable with you. But it is frustrating. And I agree with you. I'm not there yet. And I need to get there of like, giving myself more grace because I love my job so much. But also, my job is weird where like, my whole goal is to make people feel comfortable and make

• 1:09:14Speaker 00

  it feel seamless and flow and not have them even feel like I'm interviewing them. So that has, if anything, been something where it's like, when I have interviews now, I'm trying to make my days less of like, I had meetings in the morning and meetings after the interview so that I can just the whole day is focused on the person sitting in this chair and giving them all of the brain power I humanly possibly have. Because the minute after I finish interviews now, I'm like, goodbye, everyone. Anyone need anything for me? Okay, perfect.

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  It makes me feel, I'm like, I am paying attention. But it's like, I just like can't.

• 1:09:45Speaker 00

  It's not there.

• 1:09:47Speaker 02

  It's, it's hard. And part of me, you know, I used to, at the beginning, doing stuff in first trimester, like, it's easy. Because like, you know, this, this is our job. Like, this, it's this, it's sitting like, we're not like my best friend, you know, delivering babies for a living. So like, that's something I'm so grateful for. But then it's like, oh, like, I actually like, this does require a lot of brain power. And I never actually.

• 1:10:07Speaker 00

  The mental, like, no, we are doing ping pong right now. And I feel like we're doing okay. And two pregnant ladies sitting here.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  This is great.

• 1:10:16Speaker 00

  I, I mean, they, we may look over and everyone seemed like, I mean.

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  We're like in our own world, productions of the max like, uh.

• 1:10:23Speaker 00

  Me already forgetting I was supposed to be doing rapid fire with you. I'm like, wait.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  No, it's my fault. It's my fault.

• 1:10:28Speaker 00

  Okay, what has been the most recommended pregnancy item to you by friends?

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  I think the, I mean, my biggest, one of my biggest saviors has been like, the migraine cap, because I had the worst headaches in my first trimester. And even now, I'll like do it if I'm feeling overwhelmed, or just like, I would sleep with it every night, even if I didn't have a migraine, because I was so warm, I would just would like sleep on it. That I have like a little nausea stick, that's like a scent thing, which I actually originally got from boating on the lake, because I would get like seasick, but not on the boat. It was weird. It's like the after when you have like the sea legs, that's what would get me. And so I had it for motion sickness. And I literally have one in like every bag everywhere. It's the best thing, a little portable fan.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah. Is any part of you nesting yet? And like, what are some things that you're preparing?

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  I finally cleaned out the room that's going to be the nursery, which, um, I, that took me, that took me a minute to finally do. But then I was like, you know, people like, does the baby even really use the nursery? Like, in the beginning? So I'm like, if it's a little late, it's fine. Um, yeah, no, definitely nesting. But then also part of me is like, I'm always nesting because I, that's what I do when I'm stressed is I clean and organize and do that kind of stuff.

• 1:11:42Speaker 00

  Of course. Um, you have your podcast a squeeze. And I know you said that not all of your episodes will be pregnancy related, but also that is the reality of what you are going through. How are you gonna continue to like, share your journey?

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think, I, yeah, I mean, it definitely is starting to be more pregnancy heavy than I was expecting. But also, that's, I think that's honestly where a lot of my audience is at too, ironically. Um, so no, I'm just, I think it's so special. And I haven't enjoyed sharing about my struggles this much ever before. Because it's just, it's, it's such a unique experience and it's so special. And, um, kind of like how we were talking about earlier, like, I just did, like, you don't know what to expect. And I even say now, like, I was, I was such a bad friend to my friends that have been pregnant and our moms. Because like, you just like, you truly don't know. And I used to roll my eyes

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  all the time when my mom would say that to me, like, as a kid. And now I'm like, oh, no, there's actually like, truth to that.

• 1:12:46Speaker 00

  I will never be able to unsee it and unfeel it. It's like, whoa, this is so much more than I ever understood. Again, because the glamorization, we think a woman just, oh, she's pregnant, she looks great, pops out, oh. When you get underneath the hood of it and the amount that goes into living the experience, damn. Um, last question to anyone who is just finding out they're pregnant this week, last week, whatever it is, they're entering this first trimester, what advice do you have for them?

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  Honestly, just go into it prepared. I think I just wasn't prepared. I was expecting it to be a lot less worse than it was. And I think if I was better prepared, then I would have been able to maybe mentally handle it a little better. So.

• 1:13:34Speaker 00

  I would, I would also add to that, and to give you some grace, like, again, I think the mental and physical toll it takes, I also think that there's only so much preparing you can do.

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  And I, as women, I, we are so incredible because our bodies, we, we, we just forget and we keep it moving to survive. And I believe that, like, when women talk about birth and they're like, right after, like, that was the hardest thing in the world. And then you ask them a couple of months later and they're like, it wasn't that bad. Yeah, we.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  There's an amnesia part of it that during the first trimester, it's literally just like day by day.

• 1:14:08Speaker 00

  Just get through.

• 1:14:09Speaker 02

  But when I got to like my halfway point, I like forgot, I had to do like vaginal progesterone for the first month, which was just weird. I did not like having to do that. Um, I had like a weird heart thing. Like I had so many things happening that I'm like, oh, I like, I forgot I wore a heart monitor for two weeks. Like, I'm like, there's just so many little things that I like, forget now. And I don't say that to like minimize how anyone's feeling, but.

• 1:14:35Speaker 00

  It helps get through.

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, just you got it. You gotta just hold on.

• 1:14:39Speaker 00

  I can't thank you enough for coming on. I, we didn't cry.

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  Go us.

• 1:14:44Speaker 00

  We, I love how we sat down and we almost started crying just by talking, like, we were like, hi. And then by the end, we're like, we were so strong.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  We were so on it. But seriously, thank you so much for coming on. I'm so happy for you. I just, oh my God, your little girl is going to be the cutest ever. And I'm just so happy for you and Taylor and just all the good vibes and energy to you on this next chapter of your guys'

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh, same. I can't wait for our little lake babies. So fun.

• 1:15:13Speaker 00

  Love you.

• 1:15:14Speaker 02

  Love you.

• 1:15:30Speaker 00

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Haagen Dazs. Okay, it is so important to take some me time. You know what I mean, guys? So take your sweet time and enjoy rich, smooth, creamy ice cream from Haagen Dazs. Because honestly, when was the last time you actually slowed down and let yourself have a moment for you? You have to try their new cherry dark chocolate bar. Guys, picture rich cherry ice cream with tart cherry ribbons coated in thick dark chocolate. Are you kidding me? I'm drooling. Are you drooling yet? No, seriously. This is the kind of thing you don't just eat, you experience it. Okay, Haagen Dazs elevated crafted ice cream is always meant to be savored. So whatever flavor you choose, slow down and enjoy each bite. Seriously, it's too

• 1:16:13Speaker 00

  good to rush. I grew up with Haagen Dazs in my house. Every single night, my family and I would eat our favorite flavors. I'm obsessed with the cherry dark chocolate bar. Those flavors together, I couldn't be happier. I'm going to watch my favorite TV shows and I'm going to be eating that. Boom, done. Take your sweet time. That's Dazs. Available at retailers nationwide. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by T-Mobile. Daddy gang, there are honestly so many reasons to just choose T-Mobile. They've got T-Mobile Tuesdays perks, tons of freebies, travel benefits, like hotel and rental car savings. They make your phone plan feel like it's actually giving you something back instead of just being another bill that you have to pay every single month.

• 1:16:56Speaker 00

  And if you're a student, T-Mobile has student perks plans designed specifically for you. I remember being in college and constantly literally just looking for ways to save money, understandably. And so these are the kind of perks I would have absolutely taken advantage of. Students can get things like a $5 movie ticket every month, exclusive access to concerts, okay, and even streaming benefits. So you can always have a reality TV binge night with your girls. And when you're already paying for your phone every month, getting all of these extra benefits on top of it, just, it makes sense, right? For all the reasons to choose T-Mobile,

• 1:17:37Speaker 00

  find yours at tmobile.com/membership. Qualifying plan required. Visit tmobile.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by American Eagle. Okay, so fall is almost here and the new arrivals from American Eagle, kind of obsessed. We're talking sweet dresses, soft sweaters you'll want to live in, on trend jeans and cargos you'll want to wear on repeat. And if you see a style you love, grab it now because you already know the good stuff doesn't stay in stock for long. You can check it all out at ae.com or just go to the store.