Bella Thorne: Disney, Dating, & Reclaiming Her Story

Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Bella Thorne. Bella opens up about becoming the breadwinner for her family as a teenager, navigating life after Shake It Up, and her complicated relationship with her mom. She also shares the moment she caught her ex-fiancé cheating, her experience with revenge porn, and the resilience that helped her reclaim her story. Enjoy!

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• 2:06Speaker 02

  What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Bella Thorne, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Hi, thank you for having me.

• 2:19Speaker 00

  Oh my God, I am so excited to be here with you today. We kind of like first as the world got to know you as Cece Jones on Shake It Up. But you didn't let Disney put you in a box. You are now in the director's chair, and I feel like you have done so much in your life to just get to where you are today as the Bella Thorne we know and love. And so I am really excited to just learn more about you.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Aw, thanks.

• 2:46Speaker 00

  The red hair is back.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  It's, bitch, the girl is growing.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Is it true that you dyed this yourself?

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Um, I did the original color myself. Yeah, I did.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  What inspired the return?

• 3:00Speaker 02

  Well, I woke up one day and was just like, I don't want the brown anymore. I did the brown to grow, also grow out my hair. You know, when you have like red, or as you know, blonde, every time with the six week mark, you're like, the roots. And shadow roots don't really look amazing sometimes with red hair. It's just not as, you know, I like it like from, from the tip, just like, yes. And, and then I woke up and my fiance, I was like, you know, I really want to get this like product where, you know, it says no bleach, it's a high lift color, but you know, it says no bleach. And I was like, it

• 3:42Speaker 02

  says they have it at CBS. And this little angel next to me in bed at eight in the morning was like, you know, I'll go get it right now. And he went and got it. And, and then an hour later, my assistant, Sam walked in, she's like, she looks at me, she's like, oh my gosh, Jesus.

• 4:01Speaker 00

  You're like, I don't know, CBS said it was gonna be, um, I feel like so much of what I talk about on this show is like, becoming an adult. It almost feels like we all go through that phase where you start to have like revelations of your past. And it's either traumatizing, or it's healing, or it's a little bit of both. And I feel like I'm meeting you at a very like reflective point in your life. Is that fair to say?

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  And so I kinda want to just go through it all today, Bella, because I'm fascinated.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Let's do it.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Um, okay, just high level. What about your life right now feels different from like all of your past eras in your past?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  That's a great question. So much, so much. I genuinely feel lighter on my feet. And I think mentally, I, at one point I was doing four movies a year. And I, I think I like really burnt myself out, as well as at a time where I also didn't know myself as much. And I feel like in life, we just keep learning about ourselves in that way, which is a really beautiful process. If you're not like finger pointing at yourself and talking down to yourself every time you make a mistake, then it can be a beautiful process. But it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's hard to like, work on the mental as well as be actually

• 5:28Speaker 02

  working all the time, every day, you know? I feel like a lot of people can relate to that. Everybody out here would be stunting, you know? We all gotta be stunting all the time. It's fucking exhausting.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  It is. It's like you get so burnt out and then you still have to pretend you're stunting. You're like, oh, I'm here. And you're like, I'm literally about to fall over.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  No, literally.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  Okay, lighter. I feel like, and I bet if you said that to yourself like years ago, like one day you'll just be sitting somewhere and be like, oh, I feel so much lighter. Like, that's the goal for all of us, right? Because that means you're probably happier and you feel like alleviation from some of the pain that you were experiencing.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 00

  I saw that you posted a little recap of your, just like, over the years, and you called it the many eras of Bella Thorne. And so I want to play my own version with you today. Because I feel like this is a good way to like, kick us off and get into, if anyone forgot, let's go down memory lane.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Oh, Jesus.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  I'm gonna just show you a picture. You're like, is this a good time for me to leave the interview? Goodbye. I am gonna show you a picture. Literally just tell me what you remember from that and what comes to mind.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Okay, starting off strong.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Oh, Jesus. Starting off so strong. First of all, like, face is way too pale. And it's looking really weird, matching my like lower chest situation. I know everyone's looking at the chest, and yes, it's very tan compared to my face. Um, I'm gonna start with when I went to this thing. I was dating somebody, we wanted to match. He didn't like his outfit right before. And so he changed his outfit. So I changed mine like an hour before going so that we could still match.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  This is 2017. I also feel like 2017 is just like very nostalgic for everyone. It's like, you know you where you were at 2017. This also felt like-

• 7:27Speaker 02

  The glitter queen.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  I was gonna say glitter era.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  I was like so, and I was glitter before this, and then this was also there. And a lot of people were like, oh my God, she's on drugs because she's wearing glitter. Like, what the? And I was like, no, man. I mean, I do smoke weed, but none on drugs, just love glitter.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Because I feel like every time I've ever heard people talk about glitter, a lot of them are parents. And they're like, I think I have to move from my house because the glitter has just completely consumed my entire home. And I literally can't use a vacuum enough to get it out. Was it just all over your house? And you just kind of were like in your glitter era?

• 8:04Speaker 02

  It's everywhere. It will never leave the house. I've found it in places you don't want to find it.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  It's like in your vibrator. You're like, oh, it's in your toothbrush. You're like, thank you.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Comes out, you're like, well, damn. I'm wet with glitter, bitch.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  That's actually amazing. Okay, next. This is, wow.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. Filthy Fangs era.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  Yep. This is from your bitch, um, Bella Thorne music video.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Oh, man, that song.

• 8:39Speaker 00

  Which this obviously completely broke the internet back in the day. Where did this idea come from?

• 8:46Speaker 02

  It was a song that started as a joke. And, and then we'd play it for people and be like, oh, this is like pop it. And we're like, no, but it's like, it's, it's funny, you know? It was like, I really loved like the Jesse Eisenberg era and stuff with like, you know, like, eh, on a boat, and like digging a box. And like, that's how I viewed this. That's, that's a good era.

• 9:15Speaker 00

  Dude, that's such a good era. No one was that serious. Everyone was having fun and was being like stupid in the best way.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 9:23Speaker 00

  You're right. This is very nostalgic. I remember you said in the rap, you said, been inside the club since I was hella short. Honestly, incredible. What was a typical night out, partying with you back then? What did it look like?

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Um, in this era is when I really started to go out and, and have fun. When I was younger, I was one, like, definitely a teacher's pet, and like, have been dealing with the people pleaser like era for a long time. And then had to get out, had to bust out, had to break out, like boom, it's Bella Thorne, bitch, I'm Bella Thorne.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  Like, I'm going completely the opposite now.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  So ridiculous. And, and yeah, so then at this time, I was having fun. I was like in my music era too, like with a lot, hanging out with a lot of music people, producers, rappers, just like-

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Getting after it.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, getting after it. And I think you can tell from this like hair and the colors that I went through.

• 10:27Speaker 00

  I also heard that you were one of the only people who can keep up with Snoop Dogg when it comes to smoking. Is that true? Or is that true?

• 10:35Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  I'm obsessed. You're like, yes, Alex, this is true. What is smoking with him like?

• 10:44Speaker 00

  Um, smoking with him is awesome. He's got his big bus, which is insane.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  You've been on the bus?

• 10:50Speaker 00

  Yes. Oh, the bus is, the bus is always there. Yeah. The bus is a must.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  So we go into the bus?

• 10:56Speaker 00

  We go into the bus and there's just hella people and like hella smoke everywhere. Like it's a thick, it's, it's like, where's the amount of oxygen compared to the amount of smoke in this area?

• 11:10Speaker 02

  And have you smoked weed?

• 11:12Speaker 00

  I, I, yeah, I have smoked weed, but like,

• 11:16Speaker 00

  the way that I couldn't even, I couldn't even, I'd, I'd enter the bus and I'd get high. I didn't even, I wouldn't even need to hit something. Like back in the day, I would smoke more. Obviously now I'm not smoking because I'm pregnant, but like, no.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Really?

• 11:31Speaker 00

  Really?

• 11:33Speaker 02

  You're not smoking?

• 11:36Speaker 00

  She's like, I'm hitting the bomb, man.

• 11:41Speaker 00

  Oh my God. But like, I would back in the day, but I was always so fascinated by people who could just like, hang. Cause I remember when I interviewed Wiz Khalifa, I was like mentally preparing the day. I'm like, okay, like, I know he's going to offer me and like, I've got to do it. Like, come on, like, how am I not going to smoke with Wiz? And literally I'm like, taking like little baby hits and I'm like, next question. And like my whole page, I'm like, and I forgot my questions. And then I just started talking about random shit with like camping with him. We were a little on like random, we're like on call.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  That sounds like a fun interview.

• 12:11Speaker 00

  It went so off the rails. I remember everyone in the room was like, what are you talking about? I'm like, I don't know my name. I don't know how to stand up from this chair.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Why am I here? I also feel like. Call who's daddy?

• 12:22Speaker 00

  No, literally.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  I was just in the hands of his. I was like, let, take me where we need to go with. Um, I also feel like Snoop is someone who is on almost everyone's dream blunt rotation.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 12:34Speaker 00

  Who is on yours?

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes. Um, Woody Harrelson.

• 12:39Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Yes. And.

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Oh, it's good.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Um, I was eh, with him and at a after party for this movie he did with Christian Bale. And I got to meet him and Christian Bale, who was my favorite actor at the time, my sister, who's older than me, she got to smoke with Woody. And, um, I was just like, I'm too young to do this publicly.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  So I'm not going to smoke at this party. And I just remember being like, man, can I add you to this rota? It's like, I'm here, I'm breathing it in. I'm not smoking, but, but it's like, it's kind of happening. Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  That's a good one to have on the list.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Right. It's, it's like, I need it now, but I think he's not smoking anymore. I think.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  You missed your moment.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  I, I missed it.

• 13:27Speaker 00

  It's okay.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  You know, but good for him. Yeah.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. Hell yeah. I also think like, this also could give, this is.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  When I handed my house with my sister, because why not? Hand did everything.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  Explain what you mean by that.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  Like we individually hand glued every rose on that wall. And we took those feather boas and we,

• 13:58Speaker 02

  uh, staple gunned them into the roof and made a whole feather boa roof.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  There's a dinosaur in this room.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  In the different pinks in the, I'm like, oh, forget about the dinosaur.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  Let's talk about the feather boa roof. Okay. There's a dinosaur and this is from what I understand, this is your dining room.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah. That's our dining table. We, we had fun painting that dining table. I got the dinosaur from my sister Derek as a gift for one of her birthdays. Cause she loves dinosaurs. She always has. Um, and so I went to a props house and I was like, I want to get like, like a big ass dinosaur. Cause like.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Why not?

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. She fucking loves them, man.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 00

  She loves to be eating dinner every night. Like, why not just have?

• 14:49Speaker 02

  What a cool birthday gift. Like.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  Is that like a T- Rex?

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  Or a velociraptor? Unclear.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Whatever. I think you're right. It might be a velociraptor. Yeah. I think you're right. You see the next room is completely blue and green. It's split down the fireplace.

• 15:05Speaker 00

  Is that a horse back there?

• 15:07Speaker 02

  That is a horse. Yes. Yeah. We got that made for one of our Coachella parties. Um, and then like, what do you do? And you like create things and then get things made and you know, you can't throw beautiful art away.

• 15:20Speaker 00

  Just bring it back to your house.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Which makes me like a pack rat. I end up looking a little bit like a pack rat, but I'm not in that era. And that's important to mention, Alex.

• 15:28Speaker 00

  This is, when we talked at the beginning, we were like, you're so, we're reflecting that you're like, this is so not who I am anymore. But just so you know, this once was. So are the dinosaurs not in your home currently?

• 15:41Speaker 02

  No. And you know what? Um, the person who bought my last home, his children loved the home. We designed that home as well. It was like one, right? You could see the evolution. Like, oh wow, this is like classy, but still crazy. Like there's still flowers everywhere, but it's not like this. Um, and then we brought Derek to that house and then his children, when they walked in and they saw that house, they wanted to keep it all the same. And so Derek is with a new family now.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  Derek.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's just pretty cute.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  Last one, maybe best one. Are you ready?

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  Baby Bella.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Dude, my hair is kind of curled like that right now.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  You kind of look like.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  What's happening?

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  I've de-aged. There are no notes on this outfit.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Really?

• 16:35Speaker 00

  Because it was such an era, the fedora, the layering, like, how do you remember feeling when you were suited up this way?

• 16:45Speaker 02

  We had so much fun. There was so much fun to be had. And I remember when they made my CC boots and they were these paint splattered, um, really like kind of 3D art sort of boots. And I love paint splatter. I've loved it since then. It's like really become and like color washing. It's like a big thing that I just really love. And it all kind of really starts back at this, at this era and this, this time. It's so weird to think I'm 12.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  That's why I was like, I needed to end with this. So we can almost start with this. Cause it's like, this photo, I feel like really, yeah, it was the beginning of your journey in the public eye and it changed your life. And let's get into it. And maybe it's like the return of the red. Like it feels like we got, we gotta go down that path for a minute.

• 17:49Speaker 00

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• 20:41Speaker 00

  You can check it all out at ae.com or just go to the store. Obviously this role had a lot of dancing involved and I've heard that that didn't come naturally to you. Can you tell me more?

• 20:55Speaker 02

  You want me to talk about one of the darkest traumas of my life?

• 20:58Speaker 00

  Let's talk about it.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Spring it up.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  What happened?

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Um, yes, I could not dance. I was, I had two left feet and was so bad in general. And I could freestyle well. I knew a beat and loved to dance when I was little and stuff. I would dance on tables. My mom likes to say, growing up. So she was always wild.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Six years old on the table. Get her down.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Um, and yeah, I, so I had, I had rhythm. And then when it came to choreography, I had no experience whatsoever. And really like then experienced the like two left feet situation. That was so horrible. I mean, one of the worst times too, I would cry a lot. I would definitely cry a lot afterwards. And I was in a room full of like amazing dancers, so, so talented. And here I was in the front. So horrible. And all the people that deserved to be in the front are in, in the back of me. And I'm like, looking to them like, why am I here? And it was a really weird experience in that way.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Chris Thompson, who was the creator of the show, he was like, when you walked in that room, you were C C Jones. And there was nothing that no one could do about it. And yeah, so she'll learn to dance, which I did. Man, did I learn?

• 22:29Speaker 00

  Well, that's what's so interesting is like, that's kind of cool though, to know that like, they saw you as this character, even though so much of the character required dance. And you were like, I literally can't do that. And they're like, we'll figure it out. And they wanted to cast you anyways. Cause I feel like so many people were always fascinated, like you're this young kid. You obviously start like not fully being able to go to real, normal school anymore, because this becomes your whole life. Who did you hang out with from the network? Like, did any of them become friends?

• 23:00Speaker 02

  I didn't so much hang out with people from the network. I hung out with Zendaya, we hung out.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  I was in a, we were.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Shake it up was in a different time when Miley and Selena and Demi and those shows, they were all, I think 16, 17, when we were starting. So the eras are so different and yet they intersect. And I remember when I was 12, people asking me if I was gonna be, you know, comparing us all, all the Disney girls in, with Miley and Selena and this new era, and asking which was gonna be the next bad girl? And are you gonna be like Lindsay Lohan? And like, all these things at, at 12, 13, you're just, your brain is like, trying so hard, like, am I gonna be like, what? Like, what, what, what is the question? Like, it's such a weird, yeah, 2012.

• 23:57Speaker 00

  That is so crazy. Yeah, it's like, it's almost like, what's so weird about that Disney era is you look back and so many kids that went through it, there was this experience where you were expected to stay kind of like a child, because that's the demographic that you're appealing to. And yet the press is like, waiting for that 16th birthday, 18th birthday, where you're like, they're like weirdly sexualizing you, even though you're 12 years old. And so you're having adult conversations somehow, when you're still a child. And you're like, how is this working?

• 24:34Speaker 02

  You're also spending all of your hours a day on set with adults. You know, that is, it's like such a different, the brains like, how do I, and I'm expected to be this child, but I'm also working like hours like an adult and being an adult conversations. And when I fuck up, it's my bad. Not like a child, it's my bad. Like, you're an adult, it's your bad.

• 24:57Speaker 00

  And you're 12.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's like, the brain, I think, has a really hard, I think just like cheers to everyone making it out alive, like.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  Well, there's no way to be that young and to be surrounded by that many adults. And that become the norm to not have an impact on your mental health to some degree.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:17Speaker 00

  I like how you referenced though, like, you know, you, you did have a relationship, obviously, because you were in a duo with Zendaya. And that, I'm sure having someone of a similar age was at least

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Thank God.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  helpful in that. Do you remember the first time that you met her? And like, what was your first impression of each other?

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, meeting at the screen test, like the mix and matches, and then the screen test. And I remember at the mix and matches, um, I,

• 25:52Speaker 02

  I think I liked her like immediately. I think that our chemistry was the best. And I remember thinking, she's so tall. And I'm so short, like, and then when they put us together for the screen test, I was like, oh, okay, they like it. And I remember us having to do the dancing and the freestyle. And I was like, okay, she can dance and I'm not a dancer.

• 26:17Speaker 00

  I've got other things.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  As a child, my mom was like, you're gonna work on it.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did end up taking, like, between the pilot and the series of it being picked up. I did for that, like, seven months, take three dance classes a day. Uh huh. And like, we'd do the auditions during the day and then, yeah, that during the night. And I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be able to do this.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  And I think something that was interesting from that era that is so prevalent even still today in media is like, and I know you've talked about it a little bit before of like, how you and Zendaya were pitted against each other at that age on the show, even though it's like, you're supposed to just be a duo. And like, why can't we accept both of us?

• 27:01Speaker 02

  People can't, they don't, women was women. It's just, no, we have to, we have to make you guys all beg for one spot so that we can have the 80 other million ones. But if you guys can beat each other down and like scrape till the, the whatever extent we're asking you to, like, eat yourselves alive while we have all these spots. But, but, but for women, just, just one, just one of you. And it's like, I mean, man, the patriarchy has been doing it for, obviously since the beginning of time. But it really like, yeah, you just go back and you're like, god damn, they were 12. Like, it's crazy. What's wrong with you?

• 27:46Speaker 02

  You're an adult!

• 27:47Speaker 00

  And also, it's a duo, like, we're not beating each other out, like.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  We're supposed to be best friends. We play best friends. No, literally. It got, it got pretty like, it got pretty bad, like, uh, you know, and then, and then you have your, your families and you have the rest of the set and everything. And I think it got to a point where when we were on our Good Luck Charlie crossover, we like escaped to another set in the middle of live taping, which is really ballsy badass and like rebellious, very rebellious.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  We like, escaped is a funny word, we didn't escape, but we like snuck out. We knew that we had three scenes until we were up again. And we were just like, let's just go talk. And we did, and we escaped to another set that wasn't being used on a, on, you know, on another soundstage. And we're hiding up there and then they were looking for us. We stayed a little too long, they were looking for us for that next scene. And we got into it, like hashed it out and it was so beautiful. It was my first experience, woman to woman, girl to girl, where you actually can speak and you can both be heard about the different things you've been experiencing

• 29:09Speaker 02

  and what people are saying and how they're trying to do this to you. And, and you can walk out of there like seeing each other. And it was, yeah, I, I think it's, it's definitely in there in the books still as one of the most genuine, um, girl on girl talks, you know? Yeah.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  Well, what's also so crazy about that is like, how again, young you were. And to have all of the people that were pitting you guys against each other be adults. And so then the fact that, the fact that the two children in the room.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  14 year olds at this point.

• 29:49Speaker 00

  14 year olds were able to be adult enough and be like, can we just have a private moment? Cause are you feeling what they're trying to do to us? And to be able to hash it out, that's really incredible to have the foresight of, from both of you, to be able to have a mature conversation. Cause like, parents and managers and all the people, directors. I, I can imagine a lot of kids in Disney were like, oh, of course I thought I, that person hated me because an adult's telling me that. So the fact that you guys were able to see through it.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  And the, and the media, the media is telling you this. The, the fans are telling you this, you know, love you guys. But y'all be out there getting a little too crazy. Can we all give everybody a little bit more?

• 30:32Speaker 00

  Grace.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Can we just let everybody breathe just a little bit more?

• 30:37Speaker 00

  I also think because the backstory of, you know, I can't speak for Zendaya, but for you, I know like, your journey was, this wasn't just something that you stumbled upon and you were like, this is fun. Like, you became the breadwinner at 13 years old. So this was, this is putting food in your entire family's mouths. And so to reduce it to like, girl on girl drama, this was a full job for you.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I couldn't afford to make a mistake in that way or be like, oh, I'm gonna have drama or this and that or revel in anything. I didn't, yeah, Zendaya definitely was probably the only person on the channel that I hung out with. Like, uh.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  And it's like, cause I think the, the theme too of like, you're 13 and you're taking on real adult responsibilities. Can you share just like, what was your family's dynamic and financial situation prior to you getting Shake it Up? And, and then when you got it, what did that mean to your family?

• 31:48Speaker 02

  When we moved to LA, um, my father died shortly after when I was nine. And he did not leave us with anything more, life insurance or anything like that. So my mom.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Was in, I don't even know how she did it, four kids and nothing and a house in her name that she didn't sign for and foreclosure and um yeah, and he died in a motorcycle accident. So it was quite sudden and it was just really bad for a long time. Um, my mom was working. She was also trying to take us to every audition that she could. And you've got four kids, all with auditions, all on opposite sides of the town. Um, and just kind of running herself ragged as

• 32:44Speaker 02

  well as us just knowing all the time if what was gonna happen if we didn't get that job. Um,

• 32:55Speaker 02

  yeah, it's, it was a shitty way to, I think, learn how to work. And yet it's one of the things I'm most thankful for at the same time. That's something I know I can always do is work.

• 33:09Speaker 00

  But I had at such a young age, I'm so sorry, obviously, for everything you just described of like, that's so much as a kid to take on that like, it sounds like you're basically just in fight or flight 24/7. Once your father died and your whole family, including your mother, is scrambling to be like, somebody get a job. And then you happen to be the one that

• 33:32Speaker 02

  Shake it up?

• 33:32Speaker 00

  That got the big job.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  That one. We knew there was money gonna be like food on the table, money for the house. Like, we knew that at least we would have a constant paycheck. And that was just, you know, we'd get a guest star on a show and be like, oh, maybe they'll make you a reoccurring. Maybe they'll make you a reoccurring like, um, and I had done other things, but this was that thing of, oh, thank goodness. And I remember like, remember my mom couldn't coach me for the audition because I was always the girl that was really good at drama and the dark things, but I wasn't

• 34:11Speaker 02

  the funny one. And that was my sister, Dani, and she tested on Wizards. Yeah. And so my mom knew that at least she had gone far enough with with Disney and they liked her. So she had her like, coached me for the audition and pick out my outfit, which I'll never forget is like this like off the shoulder 80s style um sweatshirt that has a CC on it, which is why we wore it and like these leg leggings and these like little gray ballet flat things. And yeah, and

• 34:50Speaker 02

  I wore that outfit almost, I think it was 13 times. Yeah. You bring it back every time. Every callback, you were in the same thing. Yeah, it was my, it was my good luck outfit.

• 35:05Speaker 00

  I also am wondering, like, having your whole family essentially be in the dynamic of like, someone make enough money to help us all survive. There's probably something so exciting at first where you're like, oh, my God, I'm, I got it. I'm the one that's gonna like, I've got this big thing. But then also like, that's like oddly now everyone's like, okay, so now we all have to turn our attention basically to you because now we support all of our energy into supporting Bella. But that's a lot of

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  Responsibility

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Dynamic.

• 35:37Speaker 00

  Yeah. On just now you like, how did you and your mom at that young of an age even discuss?

• 35:43Speaker 02

  My mom checked me real quick. I remember when we finally got to move and we were gonna rent a house. So that was very exciting. We'd stayed in this like two bedroom apartment for a long time at that point, Stefan and the four kids and mommy. And so it was kind of a lot in them when my dad would come in and he would stay. And um, I remember the excitement. I'll never forget. It was like raining, which it doesn't often in LA. And we had just gone to the grocery store and everyone's in the car and I'm all the way in the back and my mom's talking about these like different options of houses that we could rent. And, and I was like,

• 36:27Speaker 02

  I said something like, well, I should also get to pick. I should also have a say because I got the show. My mom turned around and said, what, what, what child? What child? Yeah, I'm from Florida. So it didn't go down well.

• 36:49Speaker 00

  Oh, she was like, don't even think about it.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  An 11, 12 year old child, you think you should have a say in the house? But then at the same time, you're like, yeah, but don't I also get to say I just want a room?

• 37:02Speaker 00

  No, you're also like, but yeah, because I'm, we're getting house because I'm gonna now I'm gonna go work now.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:08Speaker 00

  Like, I want the princess bed. Can I, can I get the bed? I want the bed. But, okay, this is where I think this leads to understandably very complicated dynamics.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  Because yes, it is hard because I'm sure with your other siblings, it's like you don't want to come off as like, but it's like, but you are making all the money. How did you and your mom talk about the money that you earned and where that was going and what you were gonna do with it?

• 37:36Speaker 02

  I don't know that it was ever that

• 37:42Speaker 02

  spoken about. Um, when we were modeling, we would get like $5, $10 for each job. Um, and then we'd get to go to the store and buy toys. And I think that now you went from like making like, you know, a hundred dollars with your modeling job and then like, you know, $10 to whatever to like, oh, actually now you're making like a SAG rate as a child, you know, um, and I forget their day rates, but maybe it's 800 to 1000, somewhere in there. So now you're dealing with like, real like, oh my God, this isn't just $50 I can pocket after, which is something, but it's now this is something else. This is a different thing.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  And I'm not sure that anyone was ever given the proper tools to speak about money. Um, it was like, you got that job? We got that job. Like, oh, my God, like, we're gonna go out to dinner. Like, you know, let's go to the store. You have to, my mom was very big on like rewarding yourself. Um, and that's something she definitely taught me from a young age. And now I'm like, mommy, I need to say, girl, mommy. But yeah, she, that was one thing that she always wanted to,

• 39:04Speaker 02

  I think, make sure that we celebrated our own self, that it didn't all always go nowhere in a sense, nowhere we could see or celebrate, celebrating you still being in a house. But as a child, there's, yeah, you don't quite understand the, you just understand it's scary and it's really bad. And hopefully we never go there. And that's why we're not gonna, it's always gonna be this conversation. We're never gonna get to what that conversation is gonna look like.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  And I know you and your mom have had a long journey of a relationship as most children with their parents do. But obviously, I think there was an added level for you because your mom wasn't just your mom, she then was your manager. How did you guys navigate that dynamic?

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, the momager thing.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Not really sure how we navigated it. I had a manager, um, which I still work with, Thor. Um, yeah.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  I just worked. I don't know that there was any navigating. Um, it was like, this is an amazing opportunity. Should we do this? Like, should we do that? Coming off of the channel, so much pressure. What are you gonna do after the channel? Like, you're not gonna stay another year? Like, you're gonna go? And I really wanted to do more acting. Um, and I remember that pressure just being so high off of, off of the channel and like, you can't do this because you're still funny. You can't do that because you're a little girl, but you're also a teenager. So you can't do this because you're not a little girl anymore. And it was just like eight million things at once where your brain is like, huh, I don't

• 40:58Speaker 02

  even know. I think a lot of that period of my life is sort of like

• 41:05Speaker 02

  blocked out in a way.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, you just like needed to get through it.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  Do you, no, you're okay.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  You guys have tissues on the show?

• 41:14Speaker 00

  Okay, we got him. I got you. I can't help but also feel for you, Bella, when you're talking about that too. Because it's like, the feeling of like, I'm sure after long days of work, you're like going home. And then this momager role obviously isn't gonna just turn off.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:30Speaker 00

  And so there's so much pressure of like, you just want to be a daughter for a second with your mom and be like, oh, my God, I got to leave my work at home. But instead, it's like planning what the next thing is. Like, do you remember a specific moment that when you look back, you're like, oh, I just remember like, that's a good example of like, where lines were kind of like blurred between I needed my mom and instead I was kind of getting my manager.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  The feeling of going home was literally just wanting to be good at something. Like, felt like I tried so hard to be good at all the things in my life. And

• 42:14Speaker 02

  it was just never enough. I try and take like some of that pressure off myself now, but it's kind of like, you know, beaten into me in that way, like hard to just get away from it, to retrain the brain and new thoughts. Um,

• 42:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just wanted to be like good. And I just never was actually good. There was always more. And and then with the comparing and always never enough. And then I got really close to my teacher on Shake It Up. And I love to learn and

• 42:56Speaker 02

  I would go home and she would give me like a lot of homework and that's what I would stay up all night doing. And my mom would get so mad, like so mad and she like put a complaint in. Love you mommy, I'm sorry. Um, but she put a complaint into Disney of like this. She doesn't have time to study her lines at night because she's doing so much schoolwork.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  And my teacher never backed down. She still gave me just, just as much. My teacher Monique on Shake It Up 2, she brought me from like, I don't know, like three levels in two years. Like, um, I went from not being able to add and subtract double digit numbers at 12, which is not good to like doing like three grades above and being, um, being able to like read in front of people and being so good at math. Um, and yeah, which I've mostly forgotten now, just, just such a dick.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Such a dick, man. Um, but yeah, I, that was definitely a time where I was like, you could be more mommy than, than manager. I definitely need to know my lines, but school is also like something I was so made fun of and so bad at to then be like actually good at something. And I just wanted to like, keep, keep being good at something.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  Right. And it's like, yeah, that's such an interesting point about like developmentally, you're feeling behind. And to not have your mom be more like, oh my God, I want to make sure my daughter like is set up for like the rest of her life in that way. She's

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Right. And I feel like it's because she had to deal with that so much growing up. My mom came from such a

• 44:50Speaker 02

  bad, broken household that all she wanted to make sure was that she, her kids weren't going to have to worry like she was. And, and she did. She, you know, she set me up for that, you know, I always have to worry. I always have to keep working, you know, uh, but she, she gave me, um, she pushed me to give me a chance that so many people don't get in that way. And whether it was through a lot of tears, I feel like she's like, like a really hard soccer mom. You're like, you didn't kick the ball hard enough. You know, your mom gives you that look, the death stare like,

• 45:32Speaker 02

  oh Jesus, I'm so scared now. That look. Did your mom ever give you that look?

• 45:37Speaker 00

  Like maybe not, maybe not as intense, but yes, but I know that I know the feeling where you're like, I just want to make my parent proud. But also when you step away from it again, in this like reflective era, you're able to look back and have grace for both your mom from knowing what she came from, but also it doesn't take away from the fact that like, oh my God, it was so hard and you just, you actually just wanted your mom to be your mom. And as much as she probably from her own trauma as a child was like, oh my God, money is all that matters. That will make them feel safe.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  Your intellect and your intelligence and developmentally, like you were actually really struggling and you felt really, it sounds like not great about yourself in that area where you're getting made fun of. And you're like, I actually want to pour also into this. And so you're trying to do your homework at night and to have your mom be like, no, just focus on the paycheck. It must've been so divided for you where you're like,

• 46:29Speaker 02

  I would tell my mom, I'd be like, I don't know why you're so mad at me. Like, I don't know why you do this to me. Like, I eat my vegetables. I love vegetables. I'm good at schoolwork. I do my schoolwork. Like, I try so hard, like, and so many other kids, I don't do drugs. I don't do this. I don't do that. And man, I would say that to her, like, yeah, quite a few times. And I felt like I literally did what people on like in movies and in books said, if you did this, you were a good child. They ate their vegetables. If they did good in school, if they, you know, said, please, thank you. I always had manners. I didn't talk back to my mom till I was 17, like literally.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Um, and I always, yeah, I always had this feeling. And now I get to experience my mom in such a completely different way, um, which is very healing, very rewarding. Um,

• 47:25Speaker 00

  What was your, no, yeah. Like what was your relationship like with your siblings? Because were you ever resentful? Like you're like, fuck, I just wish I got to be one of like, like how they're living, like, you know, more maybe a normal situation compared to, there was so much pressure on you because if you dropped the ball, it wasn't a normal kid dropping the ball and you didn't do your homework. It's if you drop the ball and you get kicked off the show, then you're literally losing the house and you're losing everything. There were higher stakes for you than your siblings.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  I don't know that I had time or the mental space to even be resentful in any sort of way. I always felt that they were resentful of me, you know, because

• 48:13Speaker 02

  there's only like one mom, you know, my dad's dead, so we don't have that other person. And there's just this one mom who only has this amount of time and I'm taking up all the time now. So I always felt like,

• 48:29Speaker 02

  yeah, that that kind of in a, in a way somehow like distanced me a little bit. I always felt like, like, don't look at me funny. Like it's not, it's not my fault.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  Right. You're like, if anything, I wish there was more attention on you guys. Like I don't want all this pressure. Did you ever have conversations with any of your siblings about that as you got older?

• 48:49Speaker 02

  As we got older, yes, we've, I think we've had conversations about what it just was like to grow up in that way. Um, but I don't know that.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't, I don't know that they would ever tell me if they were like genuinely resentful.

• 49:09Speaker 00

  No, it is so interesting. Like when you think about sibling dynamics, growing up in a household and how different people experience your parent, right? Like you experienced your mom one way, completely different. The fact that like, some of your siblings may be like, I was vying for her attention and you were literally like, I just wanted a break for a second. Like I just needed a second. It's so interesting how under one roof, you can experience such a different complicated dynamic with one individual. And you understandably are too young to be able to share that experience. And so it's like kind of quite isolating. You're just in your room alone and they misunderstood you probably, and you misunderstood them. And then if that's a, that's a lot as a kid.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  And we weren't given in that time at all any resources to help. There was no resources. There was no talk to your children about this. Talk about that. There was no children have consent, like consent. What? A child gets to consent? I thought that the, the parent is, is in charge of the child and the child has to do whatever the parent says to do. What do you mean consent as a new word? Like you learn, wow, so many things now that were never, those are never a thing.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  Do you think Bella, cause I know you've talked about it and I know you and your mom have a, um, it seems like you've, you know, I know, I think you went to therapy together and you repaired your relationship, but there was kind of this like fallout moment between you guys. What, what do you think it was that kind of like tipped the iceberg for you where it was like enough is enough. I need a break essentially from this.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  I was turning 18 soon and I could feel the like erraticness coming there. Again, not having the space to be like, let's actually talk about what happened when you turn 18. And I think I was so scared and my mom was so scared. We were both so scared. And when I was shooting Midnight Sun, I turned 18 on that movie right before, um, we started shooting and

• 51:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was not a great time.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  And one day in the middle of the night, I think she could tell that, you know, I was starting to have like financial meetings to start to meet with business managers and kind of actually like understand what was happening there. And yeah, that ended quite fractured and I moved out that night.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  With my boyfriend at the time, Greg. And

• 51:59Speaker 02

  yeah, in a blink of an eye, I'm this one person and in moments later, I'm a completely other person and I have no idea where to go or what to do, or I don't have an ID. I don't have, I don't have anything. I literally don't have anything. But I'm just gonna go because I just can't do this anymore.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  And I think between everything with a lot of the, the work and growing up in the way that I did, I struggled very badly with suicidal thoughts and depression and I

• 52:39Speaker 02

  I thought at one point, like if I had hurt myself, that maybe she would see how much pain I was in. And I knew when I was there at those thoughts that I had to like leave.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like, I don't want to keep thinking about that. So that was to answer your question, long-winded way of answering your question, the

• 53:05Speaker 02

  I guess the crux of, yeah, leaving.

• 53:08Speaker 00

  You had to protect yourself. You were realizing like, if I keep going at this speed, I may not be here anymore. And that's, that's not what anyone wants. So I have to leave as much as it's gonna hurt her and it's gonna hurt me. It's gonna hurt less than staying. When you did leave though, you left basically your siblings also, like, did you have any understanding of like, how to access your bank account and like all that information, like, I can't even imagine.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  No, I didn't have any of that information and

• 53:44Speaker 02

  the person who I was dating at the time, Greg, Sulkin, who I love very dearly. And we went through so much together and in this time and

• 53:54Speaker 02

  he showed me how to be an adult, which is a lot to ask of, you know, your like relationship, someone that you're dating, but you're like, oh my God, this person is really like not an adult yet.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  And it's never, he was always like, that's weird. You don't have access to this. We're like, you know, you need to know these things like, it took me to get my ID. It took me to

• 54:19Speaker 00

  Why did we, and why didn't you have an ID?

• 54:22Speaker 02

  I, I didn't drive. I don't drive. So I never got my driver's license. And so then I like had a state ID at some point.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  It was just like basic to some people, like more basic life skills that you were like,

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Didn't have.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then when you finally pulled away from kind of being in that house with your mom, you're like, whoa. Although I felt like a kid for so long, I am 18, like, maybe I should know what my bank information is, and maybe I should know all these things. And what's so hard is sometimes it does take that extreme of a break away from a parent when it is that codependent situation. And then other people being like, wait, wait, like Greg being like, wait babe, like,

• 55:11Speaker 02

  That's weird.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  No, that's weird. And, and someone who just is like loves you for you and is just like, I have no skin in the game to then help. I also think like, there must have been such a turning point when you leave Shake It Up and you're kind of like, basically done with your Disney era. We're dealing with obviously like you going through mentally this like rupture with your family essentially. But then also you're leaving an environment that had such expectations on you as a human being. And I think a lot of people have talked about this, like, the Disney kid and what you were supposed to be and emulate and present to the world. Meanwhile, it's kind of still a time that you're trying to be like figuring yourself out as an adult. Like, how did you manage

• 55:55Speaker 00

  trying to soar in your own right and find your own image outside of that really like specific constraints that they put under and on you?

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Well, I think people can see how I've managed it publicly. They can see it. They've got photos of it.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  They got all the photos. Oh, wow. I don't know that I ever handled it or

• 56:24Speaker 02

  balanced it out correctly. I don't

• 56:29Speaker 02

  think that I ever had that mental clarity. Um, I've worked a lot on the more recent side. I, I got to a point where I just needed to kind of change things in my life and get better at, I was working so much and yet was leaving very little time for the things that I really, really cared about. Um, and so I started to focus on that this year and last year. And then after I made this movie Color Your Hair, I put, put all the, the heart and soul and then didn't, didn't have much left afterwards and had to, you know, really wanted to get into the mental health aspect and the brain aspect and

• 57:16Speaker 02

  just get better on, on things and give myself some space to breathe and, and grace. So I don't think I ever did that when I was younger, but I do remember when I turned 18 and in that 18 to 19 year, I was like, I'm free. Like I'm literally free. Like I'm walking into this house and no one's asking me when I'm like, when I'm gonna be there, when this time or when I'm gonna leave. It's like, was such a weird. Yeah. And you, you don't know what's weird until someone else tells you.

• 57:50Speaker 00

  And then you're like, oh, my situation is not normal. Okay.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  I still, like my mom held my hand walking across the street and for good reason, because streets are scary and sidewalks are scary and side situations. I don't like them. Roads, don't like them. Driving, don't like it.

• 58:04Speaker 00

  However.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  Don't like it.

• 58:06Speaker 00

  True.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  But yeah, like I didn't walk across the street without holding her hand until I was like 16, 17 for sure. And I'm still, I run across the street. When I cross the street, I run.

• 58:19Speaker 00

  But I think that's what's so interesting, Bella, because like I sprint.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  I literally sprint really hard.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  See me out in public.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  I'm sprinting. I am not walking.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  No one's chasing me. We're fine. I think though, that's kind of like the weird dichotomy we were talking about earlier of like, you're a child around adults, so you have to act like an adult and you're forgetting your line and all these adults are mad at you. But then you're still being treated like a child by the adults in certain situations, but really being adultified when you're on set. But then money and all of this is being caged from you. So you're, and, and then you're just like, am I, am I or am I not?

• 58:58Speaker 02

  And that's something that you really start to see a change in when you start to bud. Like budding is such a weird phrase. Like, am I a flower?

• 59:09Speaker 00

  But you're paying the bills.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  It's weird. But when you start to get more feminine and womanly, that's another thing that starts, that starts going into that, that little equation that you've just said.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  All of it.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  And that starts getting weird too.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  You don't physically look like a child anymore, but you're still mentally operating like, well, what does my mom say? What does my mom say? And then eventually you're like, should I keep asking what my mom says or should I move out? Then you move out. And then I remember the press was so hard on you. I literally wrote down, they would say things like child star gone wild, Lindsay Lohan in Training.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  I know. Imagine telling the 12 year old that.

• 59:49Speaker 02

  You said what?

• 59:51Speaker 00

  And it's like

• 59:51Speaker 02

  Lindsay Lohan. I loved those movies.

• 59:56Speaker 00

  What do you mean? What's wrong? You go from working when most kids are just experimenting and doing things. So then when you get away from that, it's understandable that then you're gonna go experiment. This is not a new idea. We've seen it.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  People were debating if I was wearing a training bra or a bra. Yeah. Like,

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  can we?

• 1:00:19Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Can we think about it?

• 1:00:21Speaker 00

  No, no, no. And so these, these, yes, they're like sexualizing you to a degree where you're like, I, I, I literally can't win. This is really weird.

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Look at them. Not the puffy nipples. Like, you know, when you get to that stage, the puffy nipple comes first and that is the worst. And everyone is talking about it.

• 1:00:39Speaker 00

  How do you think all of this, I know you were talking about that early relationship with Greg, but like all of the over sexualization and people talking about you, like, how do you think it impacted your early relationships and what you were looking for in dating?

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Not well. Not well, we'll start there.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  I think when something has been put on you so long, my response was, okay, then I'll take it. You want me to be that? Then I'll be it. And I'll be it even more. How about that? You really want to fuck with me? How about this? And that is like, this is kind of, yeah, it's kind of how I grew up. And then when people would point that out, like, oh, like, so you're really trying to be bad, right? Cause you're like, you're a Disney girl. Like then that would really like send me like just soaring and, and, and anger. Someone like seeing that, seeing this, seeing you for who you are in that moment and you're trying yet everything else to be something else in a way is a really weird.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  It's not a phase, mom.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  Right, right. You're trying to prove everyone wrong. You're like, no, no, no, no, I'm not affected by that.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  And then at some point I was just like, oh, you think I'm fucking like, look at her. Wow. She's hot. Or you want to see sexy? I'll show you sexy.

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  It's like, you're like, I'm gonna push back 10 times harder. If you're gonna tell me I'm this, then watch, I'll do it.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Watch me be a whore. No.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  Bitch, you want me in my hoe phase? Watch, watch and learn.

• 1:02:12Speaker 00

  But at some point, I feel like that is actually what causes the rebellion is like, how many times are you gonna say?

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  Are you gonna do it?

• 1:02:18Speaker 00

  Then I'll just do it. Then I'll do it.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  Literally, you like have to stop seeking.

• 1:02:22Speaker 00

  Cause if you're gonna keep saying, right.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  You wanted it so bad.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  And you're saying it when I'm not doing it. So I might as well do it. Let me see what this is all about.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. As you guys know, I have basically been working double time throughout this pregnancy to bank episodes for the month that I will be on maternity leave. And a few weeks ago, it all just kind of hit me. I was like, wait, wait, wait, where did summer go? And I was talking about this with Matt and he ended up surprising me with a little staycation. He booked this beautiful home on Airbnb in Malibu so that we could pretend like it was summer while it's still warm here in LA. The weather was perfect. The house was right on the beach, which was so relaxing and amazing. It also had just such a gorgeous kitchen. We stayed in, we cooked dinner together. And you know, daddy gained my cooking skills. They have,

• 1:03:25Speaker 00

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• 1:04:07Speaker 00

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• 1:07:04Speaker 00

  I mean, I want to hear from you, like, what, what was it like when you would have spurts, even if they were small, alone, that you didn't like about that?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  I was never alone. I always had my vibrator.

• 1:07:18Speaker 00

  You're like, Alex, please do not assume, because I was absolutely always the clickbait to this video. Guys, go watch the Call Her Daddy interview. This is literally, that is like the title, like, you're never alone. Grab your vibrator.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm dying.

• 1:07:37Speaker 00

  Okay, so you, you preferred, though, to be in relationships because you really, you did not want to actually physically be alone?

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  I'd never been alone since I was a child. I'd always been, I grew up in a family of four, and my mom being best friends with her growing up. And, you know, we'd have sleepovers. We'd, you know, travel somewhere, sleep in the same bed. Like, I grew up never alone. And yeah. And then all of a sudden, oh, broke up with this man, because like, yes, queen, get rid of him.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  And then like, oh, God, I'm alone. I'm sitting in this chair. What am I doing? Like, and it was just the scariest feeling. Being alone was so frightening. And I'm not totally sure for what reason, other than you just didn't spend that much time doing that. Um, now, I'm like, oh, I get like, two days alone. I'm like, let's go. Eight, eight masks later, watch me bitch. And I'm gonna watch whatever the, I wanna watch. Okay, I'm gonna watch it all night, because I'm a binge watcher.

• 1:08:45Speaker 00

  Now you're more comfortable. When you were avoiding being alone, what kind of partners were you attracting? Like, were there any patterns? You look back and you're like, oh, my God, I kept going for this type of guy?

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  The artsy people, they need to stay away. That's too much. That's too much. Don't go back to that time. I'm surprised you didn't pull out like, eight other eras. When you started, I was like,

• 1:09:12Speaker 00

  Okay, I'm waiting for that.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  What is this pap shot on the curb? Oh, my God. No, literally.

• 1:09:18Speaker 00

  Artsy. And do you mean?

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  My house at one point was filled with just actual trash bags and literal just cardboard, cardboard from places on the street, just like, people left their cardboard out, you know, they were moving and they got rid of it and like, cut up and then painted on. Like, I dated a lot of artists.

• 1:09:37Speaker 00

  Oh, you mean like, not even, because we know musicians, you mean?

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  I mean, literal artists. Artist. Paint, paintbrush and trash bags and cardboard and anything else you could paint. And I went through that era of my life, too. I love painting. So that was like a point I was like, oh, my God, look at them. They don't give a fuck. Like, that's amazing. Like, I love just being like, I'm gonna paint on this thing. I see a wall, I'm gonna paint on it. I see this thing, I'm gonna paint on it. Like, what a beautiful way to, to live life. That's how I was thinking. And I still can agree.

• 1:10:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, a little balance.

• 1:10:14Speaker 02

  I just painted my dresser.

• 1:10:15Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 1:10:17Speaker 02

  What color? You know, um, baby blue from dark brown, baby blue, and with, um, red flowers.

• 1:10:24Speaker 00

  Cute. But maybe like, not your whole house is what you're saying. And maybe like, not the cardboard?

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, the cardboard trash, I mean, actual trash, people's, other people's trash, that is now in my home with, you can only imagine what else is in other people's trash in my home. And it's, it's painted on now. They, they keep painting on it. So they keep putting it there. And I'm not gonna throw someone else's artwork away.

• 1:10:48Speaker 00

  How did you realize that these relationships may, maybe weren't the best for you?

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  Oof. Seeing how people treated me during that time is what made me think I needed to get away.

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  It wasn't the cardboard.

• 1:11:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, it wasn't the cardboard. Now I go, girl, you put up a lot of shit. I am that person, though. In a relationship, I'm like, yeah, like, whatever. Fuck, yeah. You want to do some shit? Fuck, yeah. Like, let's do it. Um, and then until you start doing some shit you're not supposed to do, start treating me disrespectfully, start, start knickknack and poking, like, not, not, not, not, you start that? Oh, oh, we're gonna see that cardboard in the trash. We're gonna hear about that art now. Like, and I don't know if it's the Libra in me. You do not want to come over here, man.

• 1:11:39Speaker 00

  This is a good segue. This is a good segue, because I want to play a little dating game lore with you. Okay, I'm gonna give you just like, a quick, like, a scenario, or just like, a situation, a topic. And any story that comes to mind, just quickly tell us, hit it, hit it with us, okay? Have you ever walked out on a date?

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  Yes. Walked out, walked, walked out of the car. Um, I got, he picked me up and he put his arm like that to open the car door, which was offensive for obvious reasons. And so then when I checked him on it, he was like, oh, what, you expect too much. You expect too much. And I was like, you think that opening the door and getting out, walking your merry little ass two feet on over to my side to open my door is expecting too much? Then we should stop right here, because you will never, you will, we're actually bad for each other. You have no idea what's coming your way. And so I got out of the car.

• 1:12:31Speaker 00

  He did, he did, he did the lean, and he, a little push open. You said?

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  Sorry, you're not getting any pussy. You're not getting nothing. No, you're, you literally are getting trashed.

• 1:12:45Speaker 00

  And here's the fucking cardboard you need to shed. Wait.

• 1:12:48Speaker 02

  I got out in the middle, like, we were at, as soon as we got to the stoplight, and it turned red, and got my ass out of there. And he was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And it's like, gonna turn yellow soon. He's like, he's like, trying to like, then get out of his side as I'm walking my happy little ass back home. I was like, no, literally, I, you, expectation? Oh, I expect a lot.

• 1:13:09Speaker 00

  I got ready for you. No.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  Are we, are you, this is showing up on your date, and you're not going, like?

• 1:13:18Speaker 00

  Open the door. Open the door.

• 1:13:21Speaker 02

  That is, oh, you have no idea what's coming later.

• 1:13:25Speaker 00

  Okay, that's amazing. Okay, what is the worst time someone has given you the ick?

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. I dated somebody that on a plane told me that they should have straight parades. Yep, you heard me.

• 1:13:38Speaker 00

  Wait, no, I didn't, I didn't hear you.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  She said.

• 1:13:43Speaker 00

  Take it back. Rewind?

• 1:13:45Speaker 02

  I dated somebody that said on a plane that they should have straight parades, that, that straight people are allowed to have straight parades.

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  I don't know why he had to say it.

• 1:14:00Speaker 00

  Pilot, can we?

• 1:14:02Speaker 02

  Drop this bitch off.

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  He's in the exit seat.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  Bye bitch.

• 1:14:09Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Yes, uh huh. And I, and I, and I don't know if he was just trying to get a reaction out of me. He just wanted to see me offended. He wanted to see me get riled up. He wanted to get under my skin.

• 1:14:21Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, it worked.

• 1:14:22Speaker 02

  And, and it really worked. Yeah, it worked.

• 1:14:24Speaker 00

  You're, I'm going this way when we get out. I don't care where actually you're going.

• 1:14:29Speaker 02

  I didn't see him for a while after that. And then he said, oh, you're joking, you're joking.

• 1:14:33Speaker 00

  Shut up.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  Why would you even joke? You think that's fucking funny?

• 1:14:36Speaker 00

  It's not.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  Cause I don't think it's fucking funny.

• 1:14:38Speaker 00

  It's not funny at all. It's disgusting. What is the most unexpected place that you've hooked up with someone?

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  My publicist back there is like, now Bella, she just starts saying prayers.

• 1:14:50Speaker 02

  Um, I hooked up with someone, um, outside of my house in the front yard when I was throwing a party.

• 1:15:03Speaker 00

  You just made that seem like it was like drink or tell the story and were other people around? Okay.

• 1:15:10Speaker 02

  People were walking indoor to go to the party.

• 1:15:12Speaker 00

  Welcome.

• 1:15:15Speaker 02

  And, um, yeah.

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  It's a good way to.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  I was, um, I was getting freaky, um, on the other side of the car.

• 1:15:22Speaker 00

  I love that for you.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then I realized that there was my camera.

• 1:15:26Speaker 00

  But it's just for your viewing.

• 1:15:28Speaker 02

  If you get what I mean, I looked up. You get my point? And, um, and then I saw the camera and then I realized that in my kitchen, I have all the, all the screens.

• 1:15:40Speaker 00

  Oh, so everyone in the party is like, oh, look at camera X.

• 1:15:45Speaker 02

  Girl is talented in many more ways than one.

• 1:15:48Speaker 00

  She is flexible.

• 1:15:51Speaker 00

  Okay, that's actually me saying, what is the worst lie that you've caught someone in?

• 1:15:58Speaker 00

  Like in a relationship?

• 1:15:59Speaker 02

  Oh, cheating on me.

• 1:16:01Speaker 00

  How did you find out?

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  My friend was like, he's there too long, like with this girl. And I was like, not, not so worried about it. Um, I like girls and it was like, you know, if we're like gonna kiss her together, like, that's like, okay, like, you know, like, it's fine.

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  And then I was like, walk her, like, get her to her Uber. Like, don't be like, you can't like kiss somebody and then like not be a gentleman. You know what I mean? That's not cute. So he goes to take her to Uber, but then he's taken like a while, I guess. And my friend, Bella's like, she's like,

• 1:16:40Speaker 02

  do you think he's fucking her? And I'm like, what? And she's like, yeah, do you think he like went downstairs to like fuck her? And I'm like, he's just, no, he's, he's walking her Uber. Don't be ridiculous. She's like, I don't know. I just think he is. And then he comes upstairs and then she's like, were you fucking that girl? And so immediately I guess he couldn't tell me the truth.

• 1:17:03Speaker 02

  And then when I like went to the hotel room, I realized that like my clothing that I had given her, because she wanted to go in the pool was on the floor. And I was like,

• 1:17:15Speaker 02

  so she, so she, so she, so she came back to change and he was like, well, she didn't want to take your stuff. And I was like, I mean, she could have had the bikini, like, it's okay. And I was like, I was like, oh, so you saw her naked? And he was like, no. And then he like, after me, like a dog with a bone, he's like, oh, she gave me a handjob. I'm like, right.

• 1:17:41Speaker 00

  Classic. It was just a handjob.

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Also, that's just like lame. But don't, don't cheat on me and then be like, she gave me a handjob.

• 1:17:47Speaker 00

  You had all hooked up, not fully.

• 1:17:50Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no. I, she was not my type.

• 1:17:52Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 1:17:53Speaker 02

  If we were to kiss a girl together.

• 1:17:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:55Speaker 02

  Then that was okay. And we had done that in the past. She, he met her at my birthday. At my birthday party and then DM'd her to come meet up with us. So she shows up. I'm like, who's this? He's like, oh, this is a girl I thought was cute. Like, I thought you would like her. And I'm like, baby, she's not my type. Like, she's not, you know, my type.

• 1:18:12Speaker 00

  Nothing happened between the three of you. And then he brings her down and he gets a supposed just handjob.

• 1:18:19Speaker 02

  Handjob. And then later on, I'm like, I don't believe it. Like, I don't believe it. And then he's like, finally like, oh, Liddy, that she like gave him a blowjob. And I'm like,

• 1:18:30Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:18:31Speaker 02

  I just stop it. And then after we broke off, cause then we went to like, through therapy to like really work through this. I had to then go shoot a movie with this man right after. I literally had to shoot a movie like three days later.

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  And you're like, and just now before we start the movie, just clarify, you fucked her. You're like, it went from the handjob to the blowjob. You can now just tell me the truth.

• 1:18:54Speaker 02

  I would literally just tell me you put it in.

• 1:18:56Speaker 00

  What? Tell me.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  That'd be a lot better. You're looking a little pussy right now.

• 1:19:03Speaker 00

  I'm actually.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  You just got a handjob? You couldn't give that to yourself?

• 1:19:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, yeah, like, you're not that, come on.

• 1:19:10Speaker 02

  You needed to cheat on me with a handjob, Jesus Christ.

• 1:19:13Speaker 00

  That, men are so annoying when you're like, you catch them and then they're like, but it was just, and it was just, and then slowly more and more and more and more and more comes out. And you're like, I actually would have respected you more if you just admitted it. But now I'm on this long train of lies with you that you don't even remember. You're like, what, what did it first start as? He wouldn't even remember.

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  So then I, I had to go do a movie. And he's like, oh, like you need to trust me. Like, give me, I'm gonna give you your, my Instagram password. And like, I don't do that. I don't do the checking the phones. I don't do the Instagram password stuff. I just think it's like, if you gotta go there, it's also like not good. Plus you're always gonna find some shit that you don't wanna find. You find one friendly heart and you're like, this motherfucker, right? You're like, this wasn't meant like that at all. Like, you know, um, and so I, I, I don't, I don't think that that's like a good breach of trust, but he keeps, he keeps saying it. It's the way to prove to me, right? So then finally I'm like, you know what? All right. And it's 5:00 AM and I'm on my way to set.

• 1:20:16Speaker 02

  I see these messages and they're all in a different language. He thinks that I'm not gonna like translate it, but my assistant, yes. And the time is like, so did you know Google Translate can take photos now? And I'm like, no. And like, but then there's voice memos. So I'm, I'm Google translating with the photos and it's, not looking good in here, not looking good. But then there's voice memos and they're speaking very fast in another language. So I asked our server at the time, I'm like, can you translate this for me?

• 1:20:48Speaker 02

  Oh Bella, he loves you. Oh, he thinks you're so beautiful. And he just keeps going on and on about how much this man loves me and thinks I'm amazing. And I'm so sexy and he wants to, and at some points he does these weird faces, like, I'm not gonna translate this. So I can only imagine what he's saying at the time that this server does not wanna translate. Um, my fiance cheating on me. And, uh, and then I'm like, I'm like, and then I, yeah, I do the full translation. I, he thinks I'm an idiot. I'm not gonna read the other language. So then we go through a lot of therapy, like, a lot of therapy after that, because I'm like, you know, I've committed to this person and, you know, obviously I've done something wrong here and

• 1:21:33Speaker 02

  which is just not true.

• 1:21:37Speaker 02

  For anybody who's been cheated on, it's not true. You haven't done anything wrong.

• 1:21:42Speaker 00

  And I'm sorry.

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  But ridiculous.

• 1:21:45Speaker 00

  The concerted effort to be like, I'm gonna get crafty. I'm gonna cheat in a different language. Cause maybe she'll just be so exhausted from this job. She won't have, she won't have time to actually translate all of this. And meanwhile, you're like,

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  My assistant, my hair and makeup artist, the girls and the server right now are pointing out your cheating ass bitch. Okay? You think I wouldn't, but I got the girl squad. Okay. And this very nice gay Italian man, like, and he will, he wanna tell you, okay, sir?

• 1:22:21Speaker 00

  No, when you're trying to tell the Italian man, it gets worse. No.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  It does get worse.

• 1:22:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:22:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. So after the therapy.

• 1:22:30Speaker 00

  Oh my God, from the handjob to here, keep going.

• 1:22:33Speaker 02

  So after the therapy and I just like, you know, at one point in, he said this thing about somebody else who was being cheated on. And I saw in his, I was, it just like, it all clicked for me. And I was like, oh, you actually don't feel like bad or there's no, like, you actually think that this is like, okay? And, uh, and my father cheated on my mom a lot growing up. And so I had a lot of like past kind of cheater drama. And then when I broke up with his ass, like, you know, he's like, well, because you were so honest, I wanted to write you this letter. And in the letter, he just tells me that he was always cheating on me throughout our four years and he, but don't worry. Because he never slept with the same girl more than once.

• 1:23:20Speaker 02

  Don't worry. He never, not with the same girl, not more than once.

• 1:23:24Speaker 00

  Babe, don't.

• 1:23:25Speaker 02

  He just slept with so many of them, but not more than once. He didn't have emotional connection.

• 1:23:31Speaker 00

  The way this man is so in love. He cares so much for you. He's like, baby, I, the way, the respect I have, I made sure you never double dip.

• 1:23:41Speaker 02

  Exactly. And like, I respect you so much that I need to tell you this. And that's the respect I have for our relationship. And then also, I left my Saint Laurent leather jacket at your place. So if you could, please mail it to me.

• 1:23:58Speaker 00

  No, no, no, Bella. The way that this man was like, but, but it was just like, it was a one and done. Like they convinced themselves. They're like, it's not, no, it's not cheating because they have these stipulations in their head.

• 1:24:11Speaker 02

  He convinced himself it wasn't cheating because we, um, because we like to get with girls like together that we were like, you know, had like a threesome, like, you know, like, I was like, I wanted to be in the open relationship, you motherfucker. And I said that at the opening of us dating and I was like, you live somewhere else. I want to be in an open relationship because I need attention and I need someone there physically with me. He was like, well, that's just not gonna work. Like, I'll give you girls. I'll give you girls. Cause girls, they mean nothing, right?

• 1:24:46Speaker 00

  They mean nothing.

• 1:24:47Speaker 02

  So you can get some attention from women, but you can't have any attention from men. And then meanwhile, you are.

• 1:24:54Speaker 00

  He's on a tear.

• 1:24:55Speaker 02

  He's just fucking everyone you meet.

• 1:24:59Speaker 00

  Oh my God, that is so controlling. It's like, he's getting to actually, that's the definition of having his cake and eating it too. And you're just sitting there like, all right, like, so we don't want an open relationship, even though we have this like mutual agreement that if we find someone that we're like down together, great, but if not, we're not able to do it without each other. He's like, wow. And you're literally like, huh? Bro.

• 1:25:24Speaker 02

  That whole time.

• 1:25:25Speaker 00

  The whole, the translating is so good.

• 1:25:29Speaker 02

  The tra, it's too much.

• 1:25:30Speaker 00

  No, that's like one of the all time greats.

• 1:25:32Speaker 02

  Can we put it in a movie?

• 1:25:33Speaker 00

  No, no, no. That is like, put that in a script immediately.

• 1:25:37Speaker 02

  I already did two of them.

• 1:25:40Speaker 00

  You're like, I have lived this life, Alex. No, that's wild.

• 1:25:46Speaker 02

  It was really hard on that movie. I had to, um, there was a scene where we were making love and in, in, in the scene, they put all these photographs of me up on the walls, like a gallery, and they were photographs that they had taken on me on that set during that time. And so I'm on the floor and he's on top of me and I'm just like surrounded by all these versions of me, just staring at myself and just like broke down and could not. After, also after like the eighth fake of doing this again and again, this man is in my mouth. I hate him. I'm upset. My body like wants him and hates him at the same

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  time. Like this is someone I love and yet someone I don't know at all. Uh, and I will never forget the feeling of like, literally like eight Bella's just looking at me like, you want to go back to him? Is this what your worth? That's what you see for yourself? Like this is who you want to be? Like, you know, like, are you okay with the way this man treats you? And I'll never forget that feeling. Like honestly felt like a horror movie. I always think this is the barbarian. You're like, what is this?

• 1:26:59Speaker 00

  No, exactly.

• 1:27:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. Not now.

• 1:27:15Speaker 00

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Revolve. You know, I'm a father and now I'm also a mother. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. I don't think my entire style is gonna change now that I'm a mom, but like, I'm definitely looking at some more sweaters than going out tops. I know what a concept. And I'm like liking my like, I'm, I'm evolving. Okay? We're growing. Okay? And so I'm constantly looking for good little outfits to put together for a date night where I'm like, okay, I can be with the baby and then I can go and still have my husband be like, damn, Alex, you look great. There's, there's gonna be a balance. And whether you're building for your future hot mom wardrobe, or you're just trying to honestly find pieces that make you feel put together that are still comfortable,

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• 1:29:26Speaker 00

  go to the store.

• 1:29:29Speaker 00

  I feel like you have had some private, I'm sure, like this, obviously, but then there's like been a very big public experience that you went through where like you were essentially violated to some degree and you tried to take ownership and control of that situation back in 2019. You made the decision to leak your own nudes because a hacker was essentially threatening that they were going to do this. And can you just like, tell the story of what the hell happened? Cause I unfortunately think revenge porn is such a common experience for a lot of women. And I would just like, love to hear what your personal experience was with it.

• 1:30:12Speaker 02

  It started off with a text and like, oh, hi Kitty, something, something. And I was just like, what is this? Ignore it. You know, I'm like a fan, get my number. Like, what's, I don't. And then again and again. And then a photo of me that I had never posted. And I was like, oof, my brain just like chills. And then he was like, you want more? And so he sent more. And then he like kept sending them until he got me in a conversation

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  with him. Um, and yeah, he kept going with it. I was doing my book tour at the time for The Life of a wannabe mogul. And I'm like, I wrote this book because I felt like I was so misunderstood and I was so, I didn't know how to express myself. Not only misunderstood, but I was not properly expressing myself. And I felt that kind of one of my last like things that I had to do before kind of just giving up on myself was write this book and then maybe people read it and they like, they understand me a little bit more. So I

• 1:31:30Speaker 02

  write this book and while I'm fucking doing this press tour, talking about molestation and like dark shit, this man is threatening me and won't stop threatening me. And I had to keep doing these interviews and I'll never forget, I'm with my manager, Thor, who I'm still with. And he, at that time, I like looked at him, I showed him the messages, he read through all of them. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. Like, it just feels like this is what's happening again. Like my power was taken from me then for so many years. And now he has this, he has this thing of me and he's, he's taking it again. It's like, it felt like being like re-raped and.

• 1:32:18Speaker 02

  And also feeling this like everything will end if this, if he does this, everything will end for you. Everything, all the shit that you've been through, everything you've done to get to this point's all going to be blown up and, and just, it's gone. If he does this and having someone else have that power and that agency over your own body. Uh, and I love, I love my manager and at that time, and I think he, he saw me as a person and not as a client. Cause I don't think anyone, any agent or manager would have been like, yeah, all right. You want to do that? Cause you think it'll make you feel better. Sure. Release your

• 1:32:58Speaker 02

  own nudes. And he was like, honestly Bella, yeah. Like what he's writing you is like fucked up. And like with what you've been through, this is my like door accent. This is like, this is your only way. Like I don't, I don't have another way for you. Like I don't have another like option. And I put him out and that was horrible.

• 1:33:22Speaker 00

  How did you come up with that idea to release them yourself?

• 1:33:25Speaker 02

  He's literally saying he's gonna do this and I don't keep sending him photos and I'm like, now he wants me to start like sending stuff and like, and then now

• 1:33:33Speaker 00

  It wasn't even about money. He wanted more photos.

• 1:33:36Speaker 02

  Also about money and photos and like, I'm going to keep sending you these videos. And then he starts sending me other people that I'm friends with, their nudes.

• 1:33:47Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 1:33:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he's like, you see how powerful I am? How many times I can do this to you over and over. And I was like, well, if like, at the end of the day, if I'm gonna lose my whole career and everything I've worked for being like 20 at that time and working since I was eight, I'm gonna just like, just say fuck it all and I'm never gonna work again and my life's over because this man's gonna do this. So I'll just do it. Again, it's kind of, I guess it's, if you think about it, it's kind of the way I approach life. You want to say she's so sexual, sexual, okay. So then I'll be sexual. Like you want to do this to me? You want to take this from me? So I'm gonna take it instead, like instead, you know?

• 1:34:30Speaker 00

  It was your way though of actually reclaiming control.

• 1:34:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:32Speaker 00

  Like you're talking about having horrific things happen to you when you were younger. You're like, I refuse to not be in control of my body again. So let's do it.

• 1:34:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:45Speaker 00

  So you release them online?

• 1:34:48Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:34:48Speaker 00

  And, and how did you preface it?

• 1:34:50Speaker 02

  I just did an honest Twitter post. Yeah. I just kind of said it out as it is and you're not gonna keep taking this from me. So here it is. And you know, I think the worst part of that was people saying, you did this. You are faking it. You just want to show us your tits. You want us so badly to see your private parts. That, that's why you're doing it. You want it. And that to me, like really broke me. Then that like, really, really broke me. And there's

• 1:35:32Speaker 02

  definitely like a video of me where I'm like doing an Instagram story and I'm like completely like broken and so upset.

• 1:35:42Speaker 00

  Understandably.

• 1:35:43Speaker 02

  Just mad. And then I get like a call one day and it's the FBI. And they're like, hey, you know, we've seen this thing. We think it's our guy. And like, can we come over? Can we get all the data? Can we see what this is? And they came over to my house. So now I have like a house full of FBI, which is like the craziest thing. I keep looking around like, there's weed in this house. There's weed in the FBI in here. And I keep reminding myself, it's California. It's legal. Do they know I have a weed brand? Do they know I own one? But it's still scary. You're like, the FBI is here. Weed is here.

• 1:36:23Speaker 00

  There is marijuana.

• 1:36:25Speaker 02

  It is legal, but still I'm nervous. No, literally. And yeah, I gave them everything, did work together for quite, quite a bit. And uh, I think it took a year and a half, a little over that. And uh, and they got him. And they knew it was him from the writing. So if I had not posted those screenshots, they would, they wouldn't have caught him or maybe they would have caught him later, but they wouldn't have had that direct source. And that's how they knew is because of the screenshots, because it's his exact writing. They're like, this is his MO. It's the same guy. It has to be. And then he kept taking this thing because I love cats and I'm a big cat person. So he kept calling me kitty and like taking this thing from me that I love so much. And I've got these cat tattoos. And he

• 1:37:08Speaker 02

  would like keep poking the kitty thing and kitty and come here, miss kitty kitty and do this for me, miss kitty kitty. And that was another one of my like breaking, like you're not gonna fucking take something that I love and I rescued cats and you, you know what? I'm gonna like, fuck you. I'm just gonna put this out. I'm gonna put it out because I have no other choice. That's what I feel like right now. I'm not letting anybody do this to me again.

• 1:37:29Speaker 00

  That is so crazy that then the internet turned it into you are getting blackmailed and this hacker is coming for you and somehow you are getting slapped, shamed and blamed.

• 1:37:40Speaker 02

  What do we tell women all the time in life? You were raped that night. Were you wearing a short skirt? So you wanted it. You had a drink that night. Okay. So you wanted it. It's always, you want it. That is, that is like the inherent thing that we grow up with. It is, it's everywhere. It's in every book. It's in fucking, at this point, the only thing that doesn't have it is fucking mother nature. Literally the only thing that doesn't have it is the trees and the grass and shit. Okay. It's, it's everywhere. It's embedded in every culture, everywhere you look. It's, it's fucking, I'm sure it's embedded in these chairs. I'm sure when they made these chairs, they were like, well, we need to make something feminine, but not too feminine. Okay? And it needs to be soft enough, but it still needs to give a little bit like of a man vibe because like she can't be too feminine if she's gonna have work, right? Because she can't be both.

• 1:38:24Speaker 00

  Like it's literally in everything. It's, it is horrific to know that somehow you were blamed for it. And yet you're right. It's so expected. Of course, of course. What did that experience though, kind of teach you about the process of reporting crimes and like working to that capacity?

• 1:38:46Speaker 02

  I

• 1:38:51Speaker 02

  The grace and the bravery that it takes someone is, is, is so incredible. I, anyone who's ever had to write like a witness, like, um, like victim quote unquote statement is, I mean, I, I, I give it up to everyone who has come forward and everyone who hasn't, you know, both are incredibly brave in, in, in their own right. And that is the truth.

• 1:39:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's not easy at all. Either one, you're right. Because it's like half the time you're not believed. And then when they're trying to believe you, there's so many questions that you're like, is this even worth it? I don't want to relive this.

• 1:39:37Speaker 02

  For sure. Putting it into your like own words, having to speak it out loud in a room full of, when I was writing this, this statement and they were explaining to me why it was important because of the sentencing and for the judge to really hear what this person has taken from you in your life. And you spend so much of your life trying to like concentrate on the things that didn't take from you. And now you have to sit here and like publicly like speak it out, speak out those words, what someone has, has done, what they have taken, who you no longer are because of this person and their actions. And yeah, it just, man, there are so many like incredibly brave and courageous people.

• 1:40:21Speaker 00

  It's so inspiring to hear you from literally the young girl that I showed in that picture to then, you know, your working experience and essentially surviving that extremely difficult environment to then getting out into the world after Disney, trying to find your identity, but also wanting to rebel a little bit and be like, I literally didn't have really a childhood. So like, I'm going to lean in, I'm gonna have fun. I didn't even know about my bank account or I didn't have an ID. Like I deserve to have a little bit of me time essentially, going through all the relationships that you went through, all the cheaters, all the people, all the artists,

• 1:41:02Speaker 00

  all the cardboard to then finding your now fiance, going through, you know, the online trauma of this experience. Like it feels like now you're in this place where you've grown so much as an individual. It seems like you're in this great relationship now. What do you think now, sitting here are some of the biggest changes that you've noticed in yourself as a whole? Like in reflecting back on even everything that we've talked about?

• 1:41:29Speaker 02

  I'm not as reactive. Definitely not as reactive.

• 1:41:41Speaker 02

  I have boundaries. Yeah, I created some of those. It's crazy. You can create them. They're there. They may look invisible, but they're not.

• 1:41:53Speaker 02

  I think that's probably one of my biggest one. Yeah, is is the boundaries, not having them before and having them now and creating them for your own is such a can be such a beautiful and joyous experience. It can also be like really sad and sometimes it's good to like hold space for the versions of yourself that didn't have that, you know?

• 1:42:18Speaker 00

  That's such a good point. It's like you can be proud of yourself now, but you can also have empathy for why it was so hard back then.

• 1:42:30Speaker 00

  It's like having, almost like doing it for your younger self now. Like having those boundaries, you can now be so proud of yourself, like, oh my God, everything I went through and how horrific things I had to experience that I shouldn't have had to experience. Probably also shouldn't have even had to have boundaries at that age or in that moment, right? But now you can be proud of yourself for surviving all of that.

• 1:42:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:55Speaker 00

  And having grown to be so

• 1:43:01Speaker 00

  strong for what you went through and what you now demand for yourself.

• 1:43:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I think we put so much, like women, again, you just can't do it right.

• 1:43:17Speaker 02

  And like your body and all these other things is Jesus and like everyone wants to take it from you all the time.

• 1:43:27Speaker 02

  And then you're ostracized for having boundaries or you're a bitch for speaking up for yourself. You're you're blaming yourself, which is what I've done for so much of that part of my life and

• 1:43:47Speaker 02

  being in situations that I didn't know how to get out of or I literally didn't know how to leave other than running out the door physically. And I think over the years I've like really blamed that version.

• 1:44:03Speaker 02

  And at this time, when you like kind of grew up and you're like, that wasn't right, though, like, yeah, holding that space for it's okay that you didn't know then it's okay that you know now.

• 1:44:15Speaker 00

  And I think like, when you're that young of a young girl going through, like, everyone always says that, like, the body keeps score, right?

• 1:44:25Speaker 02

  Like, yeah.

• 1:44:26Speaker 00

  You can do so much mental work to just try to keep your head above water and to keep working. Like, you're having to keep working through this trauma, right? You're having to keep working through people taking advantage of you and your body and all these moments. And you shouldn't have had to do that, but you were in survival mode. And so I think it takes, it can take your whole life to just like slowly reclaim parts of your body. Even like doing therapy for a decade, you can unlock parts and feel like you reclaimed parts, but like it's a never ending process because that something that should always be yours, something that should never be taken advantage of or taken from you.

• 1:45:04Speaker 02

  And as an actor, you're taught the opposite. As an actor, like your body, like you, you learn how to disassociate from your own body. Because you're putting and disassociate from your brain to like almost create two parts of the brain. One part of the brain is experiencing this incredibly traumatic thing that I'm trying to act out as well as experience in real time. And then the other part is this protective part and you can like, it's kind of like watching yourself from the outside in a way. Like, think about the scenes where actors have to do and you're like, you're being, you're being raped on camera. You're doing these like really physical detrimental scenes to your like, to your psyche as well as your body. And so you have to disassociate and then you're no longer acting.

• 1:45:48Speaker 02

  But for some reason, you keep having to disassociate from your body, you know, throughout life. And so to reclaim it, as you said, like piece by piece back is like a really like, I used to love to show like my skin. And I still love to show skin, but I used to be like fucking like, you know, nipples or whatever, like, yes. And then I realized that I never went through the time to be precious about them, to be precious about, you know, yourself, your own body. And I never went through that period. And I feel like I've just recently been getting to be precious and to, um, yeah, to have that.

• 1:46:30Speaker 00

  I'm so, it's really like cathartic to hear you say this because I think a lot of women are gonna be sitting at home and crying with you because I think the amount of women who have unfortunately and should never have had to, nor should you have ever had to been taken advantage of. It's like you're you're reliving it also in moments in microcosms in your life, as much as you're hearing, we're, we're hearing about, obviously, when this person is gonna leak your nudes or someone makes a comment or someone's saying these, that every little thing in life can bring you back to that moment.

• 1:47:09Speaker 00

  And so it's this ongoing battle within yourself as a woman that you have to try to be so fucking strong.

• 1:47:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Stop making us be so strong. Let's be weak. Everyone's saying, no, women, like, we're a strong woman. I want to be a weak woman. You know what? How about that? Can I be a weak woman today? Friday would be good. Sunday is a good day to be weak. I'd love to be a weak woman on a Sunday.

• 1:47:35Speaker 00

  That's why I feel, no, I know. That's why I feel for you right now. I like want to reach out and hug you because I'm like, it's so people are who especially men and who are just so naive to it. It's like they think there can be an isolated incident. It's like this carries through to so much of you. It doesn't define you, but like you are just having to work 10 times harder in moments to just survive. And so I just give you so much grace of just like, oh my God, everything you've been through and then sitting here and even you being like, I have boundaries and I'm more patient now. Like, that is what just happens with time. And it's horrific that you had to go through any of the things that we're talking about. But you're such a survivor in your own right. And it's really inspiring as a woman to like

• 1:48:20Speaker 00

  connect with you and talk with you about these themes that are unfortunately so universal. But you are also a testament to someone who has been able to be basically dragged through the mud, gone through these horrific things. And you're so intelligent and you're funny and you're wise and you're all these things. And you deserve to have happiness. And so it's amazing to see that you're reclaiming that in a way that it's gonna take a lot of time. And it's still gonna be a lot of work and a lot of therapy, a lot, we're putting budget. But you're here and the young girl who said, I was maybe not going to be here if I didn't get out of that house at one point.

• 1:48:59Speaker 00

  You're still standing and that's all on you. No one else is to thank or to give props to, or it's you. You did that. You did that yourself.

• 1:49:09Speaker 02

  Thank you, Alex. That was very sweet.

• 1:49:11Speaker 00

  I need to brag more about you, some of your accolades. Um, you're a director. Um, you did The Incredible by, you know, you're still obviously an actress, but you have transitioned into a director, which is such a feat in itself to be taken seriously, to be talked about, right? In a way that people are going to show up for you and look at you, and especially even just as a woman.

• 1:49:38Speaker 00

  And so congratulations. Obviously, you've been referencing your first project. I know you have something big coming. You are directing and starring in Spring Breakers 2.

• 1:49:53Speaker 02

  And writing. And I wrote it.

• 1:49:56Speaker 00

  Okay, how did this opportunity come to base?

• 1:50:00Speaker 02

  Um, the producers watched Color Your Hurt, which is the movie that I just wrapped in early cut of it. And they asked me to write something to see if they would like it. And they loved it.

• 1:50:18Speaker 00

  And now I'm writing and directing Spring Breakers 2.

• 1:50:21Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 1:50:22Speaker 00

  Spring Break Forever, Fish, let's go. That is like, first of all, you being in it, I'm already like, yeah, you directing it, yes, you writing, yes. Like, that is incredible.

• 1:50:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:50:34Speaker 00

  That's so incredible. Also, because the first Spring Breakers was directed by a man. How do you think the sequel will be different with, you know, some female energy?

• 1:50:44Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Some female energy. Oh, the female energy is there, girl, for sure. Um,

• 1:50:52Speaker 02

  2012 was such, which is like when the movie came out, was such an exploitative time and everyone was going through it. At that time, like me and Miley and Zendaya and Selena and everybody being compared of who was gonna be that next bad girl and everything happening. It felt like that was the time too. And in this time, things are different. They are

• 1:51:21Speaker 02

  crazy. There's a lot of craziness. There's a lot of litness. There's so much litness in this movie.

• 1:51:30Speaker 00

  I just like Bella Thorne behind me. No, no, no. The like maniacal laugh. I'm like, Spring Breakers 2 and Bella Thorne. I'm like, oh my God. Is there anything you can like tease or anything you want to just kind of set the groundwork so people have a little something to chew on?

• 1:51:50Speaker 02

  Um, we're working with the original team is is back. So we're, we're really excited about that. Um, I don't want to get in trouble.

• 1:51:59Speaker 00

  I know, I know.

• 1:52:00Speaker 02

  I don't want to get in trouble. Um, but what I can say is it is so litty, litty McTitties. I mean, from start to finish, it's lit as fuck. We are having fun. If you wanted to go to the theater and have fun, you gonna have fun with this movie. That's for sure. Yeah, it's balls to the wall. That's like the most, um, that's what everyone says when they read the script, balls to the wall.

• 1:52:24Speaker 00

  Can you say if there's, is there anyone from the original in it or no?

• 1:52:33Speaker 00

  Okay, we're not gonna say anything. We will be sat, we will be ready. We are, we are so fucking ready Bella. Before you go, because I know this has been-

• 1:52:43Speaker 02

  Also, also, I went-

• 1:52:45Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:52:47Speaker 02

  When Spring Breakers came out, I begged my manager to let me go to the premiere because he'd worked on the first one. So when Spring Breakers came out, I was at that premiere.

• 1:53:00Speaker 00

  Oh, that's really-

• 1:53:01Speaker 02

  So you can do the age math as well. I was there and I begged, I begged. That's why I love my manager. And now I'm here-

• 1:53:10Speaker 00

  That's wild. And now you're here. You went to the premiere as a fan and now you're-

• 1:53:14Speaker 02

  And the after-party. And I wanted to see the girls-

• 1:53:16Speaker 00

  Writing, directing and starring. That's kind of just like, that, that feels right. That feels right for the girls. Yep. You can do anything.

• 1:53:24Speaker 02

  Oh my God, that was such like a cultural like moment in time and just like-

• 1:53:28Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 1:53:29Speaker 02

  Everyone just like, yeah, becoming a woman and like questioning being a woman and like what that's gonna look like for the rest of your life. And you know, then you have these girls doing these things in this movie. And it was just like on the big screen. It was big screen, that movie. That was a big screen movie.

• 1:53:46Speaker 00

  It was. Yeah. And this will be too. And you're in front and behind it.

• 1:53:52Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:53:53Speaker 00

  Power to you. That's actually fucking incredible. Seriously. Congrats.

• 1:53:57Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:53:58Speaker 00

  Um, okay Bella, of everything you've accomplished, what are you hoping for this new era for yourself? Like, what can we expect? I know, obviously we've got the projects, but like, what else? What can we expect?

• 1:54:13Speaker 02

  A happier Bella. Hopefully. I feel, I feel happier so far. Getting to do something that I love, like directing and getting to concentrate on production and getting further into all sides of, of the art in that way, instead of just, I love acting and I love, I love finding projects that I want to act in. Like, that's really important. And yeah, I, I hope I get to really like, enjoy continuing on this journey. Um, yeah, yeah.

• 1:54:49Speaker 00

  You deserve it. Thank you. I could talk to you forever. Um, that was such an incredible conversation. I feel like we went in so many different directions and thank you so much for going there with me. I love talking to smart, interesting women. And I knew we would have such a connection and a great conversation, but I couldn't have imagined the amount of themes. I feel like so many women are gonna be like, oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you. And that's all to you today. So thank you for opening up because we wouldn't have had this conversation. And the depth that you brought was really inspiring. So thank you for coming on Call Her Daddy, Queen. No, thank you for having me.

• 1:55:28Speaker 02

  To all the, to all the people and the, and the women and everybody that hears themselves and sees themselves in this episode. I love you and you're beautiful.

• 1:55:53Speaker 00

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