Demi Lovato (FBF)

This week, Father Cooper sits down with Demi Lovato. Demi exposes the reality of what it was like to be one of the biggest stars on the Disney Channel. How much of Demi’s personal life did Disney have control over and what the fuck was up with the purity rings? Demi outlines how extreme management evolved into manipulation and brainwashing which led to drugs and alcohol. Now free of the control, Demi reflects back on problematic relationships and opens up about which relationship inspired the song "29." Holy Fuck…Demi shares all about sex and dating and discusses a new relationship. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of emotional and physical abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

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• 1:41Alex Cooper?

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• 2:23Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 2:24Alex Cooper?

  Like, it's giving me old Demi vibes.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Yes. I love that you know old Demi vibes.

• 2:29Alex Cooper?

  Oh my god, are you kidding me? Did you forget? Oh, do you know how many times I've cried over that in my bedroom?

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 2:37Alex Cooper?

  Like in a good way, like therapeutic. And I'd be like, Demi's with me, I, are you kidding?

• 2:42Speaker 03

  If we repeat some of this, just pretend like it didn't happen before, because this is all great.

• 2:46Alex Cooper?

  We need to stop, stop, stop.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  Are we ready, guys? Let's get started.

• 2:52Alex Cooper?

  What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Demi Lovato, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 3:03Alex Cooper?

  It is such an honor to have you here, and I want to say, it's a big deal you're here, for many reasons.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  Oh my god, thank you.

• 3:09Alex Cooper?

  Of course, but I've had sometimes people like, come on, if they're like a fan of the show. But you are the first person I have ever had on Call Her Daddy, whose mom is a fan of Call Her Daddy. Shout out Demi's mom.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  Yes, my mom loves this podcast, and she was like, you have to say hi. I was like, of course.

• 3:29Alex Cooper?

  We are recording this just before your 30th birthday.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:33Alex Cooper?

  Leo season, what does turning 30 mean to you?

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Turning 30, what it means to me is like, to be honest, I've had a little anxiety. My twenties were like such a mess, like I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't know who I was, a lot of shit happened, and then I kind of like, over the past couple of years, have eased into who I am. And then this year, I'm like, oh, I know who I am. So turning 30 to me has been like, I'm excited for my 30s and what that holds.

• 4:03Alex Cooper?

  I love that, and I really want to normalize that, because I feel like there's such pressure in society of like, when you hit 30, like, figure it out, and it's like, what the fuck? No, twenties are meant to do all the fuckups. And then 30s is when it's like, let me come into my own and really figure myself out.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 4:21Alex Cooper?

  I love that.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 4:39Alex Cooper?

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• 5:24Alex Cooper?

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• 6:09Alex Cooper?

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• 7:26Alex Cooper?

  You were one of the voices of our generation. I started listening to your music in middle school, crying up against the window. Did you forget? Fully singing, all my heartbreaks, I'm like curled up with Demi. I feel like I already know you. It's been a roller coaster. I feel like I've literally known you for so long and I still love your fucking music.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you.

• 7:48Alex Cooper?

  Were you always a natural performer?

• 7:52Speaker 03

  I think that performer, um, no, I wasn't always a natural performer. I had some like adjusting that I had to do over time. I started performing on tour with Jonas Brothers when I was 15. And so, and I went from my first show in June of like 2008. It had like a hundred people. To July, my first show with the Jonas Brothers was 18,000 people. So I had to like learn how to perform on these massive stages. And it was super intimidating. I was so nervous, but like I figured it out and I found my groove. But I have always been a vocalist, like, you know, singing has always come natural to me.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  My first time singing on stage was when I was like five and at my talent show in kindergarten.

• 8:41Alex Cooper?

  What did you sing?

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Which is like one of the hardest songs to sing, but I was like, yeah, I'm gonna tackle that.

• 8:49Alex Cooper?

  I was just about to say, Demi, I'm like thinking like, ooh, like maybe like a pop song. She's like, Slendion? Like, what's up? I'm like, Demi, you just go right for the most iconic singer hardest song to sing, like, classic. Um, okay, so someone had a little confidence back then. There you go. I love that.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. And my mom, like, also, I ra- I was raised with, like, Aretha Franklin and vocalists like that. And then when I started learning vocalists that were in the era of when I was growing up, it was Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson. And those were the singers that I gravitated to because they did things with their voices that I couldn't. And I wanted to learn how. So I made it my mission and was like, whoever is really, really talented, I want to do what they do. And so I just sang and sang and sang my little heart out until I could hit the same notes as them.

• 9:41Alex Cooper?

  And then you eventually absolutely got there.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 9:44Alex Cooper?

  So for someone watching this, kind of going back to your childhood a little bit.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:49Alex Cooper?

  To kind of paint the picture, you're growing up and your parents split when you were really young.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:55Alex Cooper?

  Did your biological dad have any input when you began working as a kid?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  No. So my biological dad, he was mentally ill and had a lot of addiction problems. And so he wasn't really in my life at all. I mean, I was the one that would reach out and call him, but like, he was really sick mentally. And so over the years, I slowly stopped reaching out and calling him because he was so sick, it was hard to have conversations with him. Um, he was schizophrenic and he had delusions. And so our conversations went from, how are you? I miss you, to, I'm doing a movie with Steven Spielberg and Jodie Foster's

• 10:39Speaker 03

  my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay, we like, can't talk anymore. And so I guarded myself from that relationship. And he didn't have a say, but he was proud. He was really proud. When I would talk to him, he was really proud.

• 10:55Alex Cooper?

  And there was a lot to be proud for. Technically, your start in the business was you started in pageants, right?

• 11:01Speaker 03

  Yes, I started in beauty pageants when I was seven. And my first like big win was Minimus Texas. Yeah, that was my introduction. And then from there, I got an acting coach and I started doing acting.

• 11:16Alex Cooper?

  In your documentary, Simply Complicated, your mom, who was a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, she acknowledges her emphasis on being skinny and being perfect affected you.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:28Alex Cooper?

  How did your mom's opinion about herself affect your opinion about yourself?

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Well, look, my mom had an eating disorder. And so naturally, um, someone that's in their eating disorder, who isn't aware of it, um, can pass on things to their child. And so I put a lot of pressure on myself and in the beauty pageants to look a certain way. I mean, I'm gonna go on the record here and say like, beauty pageants are awful for children's self-esteem. And like, they teach you to ignore your emotions until you go to your hotel room, and that's when you can cry it out. And it was this toxic environment of like, who's more beautiful and things like that. And at such a young age, it confuses you. And so over the years, I developed my own eating disorder.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  And um, that bled into my career as well.

• 12:23Alex Cooper?

  When you're performing, you have to be okay. You gotta go up there, you gotta put a smile on your face, gotta make everyone else feel great. But that's not how you felt on the inside. What do you remember depression feeling like as a seven-year-old?

• 12:40Speaker 03

  As a seven-year-old, when my depression started to kick in, it was more of like, this fascination of death. And um, for some reason, I had this like, understanding that life was only going to get more difficult. And so I had suicidal ideations from age of seven. So much so that like, my school called my parents and um, they had me sign like this contract saying that I wouldn't do anything to myself. And so I entered therapy and guidance counseling at the school um, at seven years old. And

• 13:18Speaker 03

  You know, it's something that I still deal with occasionally and I just think it's a part of, it's just something that I've learned to accept and manage.

• 13:28Alex Cooper?

  Yeah. When your parents got that call and you got into therapy, was there like regular check-ins and because you were working also at the time at a young age, like was there a regimen of like checking in on Demi and making sure she was okay?

• 13:44Speaker 03

  I was so young that I don't really remember and I remember the, the person that actually saw the contract was my great grandmother because I was, I went to her house afterwards. And she was like, well, please don't do that. Like, are you okay? And, um, and so, yeah, there was probably check-ins, but I don't really remember them because I was so young.

• 14:04Alex Cooper?

  What was your peer dynamic when you were in school?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  My peer dynamic when I was in school was difficult. You know, I was thrown from being on Barney, where I homeschooled for like a year. Then I went back to school and I'd actually learned more when I was homeschooling to where like when I went back to school, I was like helping her show the class like, this is what I've learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when I went back to school, you know, there was a lot of drama. There was a lot of, it was the, the sixth grade, seventh grade drama. That's the worst. It's the absolute worst with pre-teen girls. They're just mean.

• 14:42Alex Cooper?

  That age is when like I personally know like bullying started for me. Like that is the worst fucking age. That's when it all goes down. What were you bullied for?

• 14:53Speaker 03

  So there was this whole incident where the main week that I was bullied, um, I'd actually gotten the opportunity. I was already performing at like, you know, USO bases and like little, um, car dealerships here and there that would have like festivals and whatever. I had the opportunity to open for JoJo, the singer. And this was when Get Out Leave was like on top of the charts. And, and as a pre-teen, we're all like, go JoJo because she's our age, right? So anyways, she, I had the opportunity to open for her and I invited one of the girls that was in my clique of friends and I got the opportunity to go backstage and meet her after I opened for her.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  And the other girl didn't. And I used her camera. It was like this disposable camera. And when I got back to school, she gave me all the pictures from the show, but the one of me and JoJo was missing. And I was like, where did that one go? And she was like, oh, it just didn't develop. And I was like, bitch, like, I, I know that it developed and you're just salty about it. So that week turned into like hell for me. And all of a sudden, it turned, well, there was drama around that, the picture not showing up, but then people took sides. And I remember it was like Mean Girls, like walking into the cafeteria.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Where like the popular girls hated me, anybody that wanted to be popular hated me, the popular guys hated me and they have all the power in school. And at one point I was like hiding in a bathroom and I called my mom. And I was like, I need to get out of here. They signed a suicide petition. They passed it around and got people to sign it saying, if you, um, we want Demi to kill herself.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  And it was just, it was awful. And so, um, and they said some other mean stuff in there that like, was just really hurtful. And so I ended up leaving and homeschooling and it was a blessing in disguise because it gave me motivation to keep going. And it also gave me all this free time after I did my schoolwork to practice music for three, four hours a day. And I did that for years.

• 17:14Alex Cooper?

  You were kind of getting bullied, I think, because you were having success, right? Like you were kind of starting to make it. People were jealous. At that age, they're super insecure. We all know how that goes. But do you think you then leaned into your craft because it was kind of like your escape from what you'd been going through?

• 17:31Speaker 03

  I leaned into my craft, but I also leaned into my eating disorder. Because the reasons that they gave me for bullying where they were like, you're a slut, you're a whore. Meanwhile, I'm 12 and I've only had my first kiss. And they were like, and you're fat. And they started calling the house saying they were from Jenny Craig and they wanted Demi and um, and so I was like, well, I guess that's their reason for me being hated so much. I guess it's because I'm fat. And I developed a eating disorder at 12 and it was really hard, but yes, at the same time I used it as motivation like I'm gonna make my name so in your face that you can never escape me again. And it felt really good when that finally came true.

• 18:14Alex Cooper?

  So you make it to Disney Channel?

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:17Alex Cooper?

  Which I was saying is basically and winning an Oscar as a child like at that age, are you kidding? Let's watch a Disney Channel movie. I'm like, okay, like I, can you tell I've literally watched all of it?

• 18:28Speaker 03

  I did too.

• 18:28Alex Cooper?

  So true. Everything. To paint the picture, like who was also acting on Disney around that same time as you?

• 18:35Speaker 03

  It was the golden era of Disney. I mean, there was one golden era where it was like Raven and Hilary Duff and then it like moved into this other golden era where it was like Hannah Montana had just started like a year or so before. High School Musical had just happened. Selena was on Wizards and I auditioned for the Jonas Brothers TV show. And I was up for the role of their like female best friend or whatever. And I remember I didn't get it and I was crushed. I was heartbroken, but Disney was like, but we want to see you for these other two projects. And I was like, okay, like I had taken the hardest no in my life and I was just like,

• 19:18Speaker 03

  I don't know if I want to go audition again, but I will. So I did, I went and auditioned and I ended up booking them both. One was Sunny with a Chance and one was Camp Rock. So like that for me was like, I get my own movie and my own TV show. Are you kidding? Like on Disney Channel? And I knew my life was about to change.

• 19:37Alex Cooper?

  Was there competition amongst the big actors on Disney?

• 19:42Speaker 03

  Even though I'm a competitive person, I really like quieted that voice because I was like, it's not worth it. We all have our own talents and that's why I'm not jealous of any artists today is because like we all have our own lanes and someone has to fill my lane, you know?

• 19:57Alex Cooper?

  As like a young girl watching those shows, I was always like, Demi seems like she would like, I could be friends with her.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you.

• 20:04Alex Cooper?

  Eating my hair in my room, be like, I could be friends with Demi.

• 20:08Alex Cooper?

  Eating my hair.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  The most perfect hair, by the way. We've already had this conversation.

• 20:13Alex Cooper?

  But it is funny because you, you really gave that vibe of like relatable and like someone that you could be friends with.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  It was the bangs. The camp rock bangs. It was the bangs.

• 20:22Alex Cooper?

  It was the bangs and you brought the bangs back today.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  Today.

• 20:27Alex Cooper?

  Okay. What pieces of your personal life did Disney have a say on once you started working with them?

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Whew. So there were expectations on you to be a role model because all of a sudden you're thrust into that position, whether you want to be or not. Like you're on shows that kids are watching. You can't be seen at a party with a red cup in your hand because it looks like it could, it could be alcohol. And people online, like there was this website called Ocean Up. And Ocean Up would just like take all scandalous things that were happening to Disney actors and put it on there. And so we lived in fear of that website. It wasn't really ever Disney saying, you can't do this, you can't do that.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  But if something happened, there would be conversations. And I will say that like, that pressure of you're replaceable was always there, not necessarily ever said by Disney, but they didn't have to because it was like Disney is the hottest thing for teenagers to be on. And there are millions of kids that want to be in your place. And so you have to be on your best behavior or else, you know, there's the next girl in line that could book the movie that you're supposed to be in. What people don't know is that the amount of work we had to do, every year I filmed a season of a TV show. I went on tour, I made an album and I shot a movie and I did that for like three or four years. I think it was three.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  But if I had a hiatus from my show, I would have the tour bus pull up to the studio and take me on tour for one week. Or I would fly to London to do promo. And I remember one day I woke up, I was so tired and like, Just drained from how much work I was doing as a sixteen year old. I woke up and I just started crying and my mom was like, what's wrong? And I was like, I'm so tired. And then she started crying too. She was like, me too. And it was like this sad kind of hilarious moment. And we were like, okay, put, you know, put ourselves together. We gotta do this. And so there was this extreme workload that I think put a lot of pressure on us. And that's why some of us turned to.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  I personally turned to, if you're gonna work me like an adult, I'm gonna party like an adult. And that at sixteen, seventeen wasn't healthy at all.

• 22:54Alex Cooper?

  When you had that moment with your mom,

• 22:58Alex Cooper?

  do you wonder if she ever thought to be like, hey, like you don't have to, you know?

• 23:05Speaker 03

  I think my parents were also under the, you know, impression that someone will take your place if you don't commit to this stuff. And so I'd sit down with my management and my dad and we'd go over the schedule. And the thing was, is I was also bipolar. And so, and I was unmedicated. So there would be times where I'd have this like, all this energy and I'd look at my schedule and be like, I can do that, that, that, that. Plus this is the cover of Cosmo. Like I want to do that. It's cover of seventeen. Like I want to do that. I didn't want to miss anything. I had like major FOMO if I did. So I just kept, kept on pushing, but then by the time it would get there, I'd fall into like a depression. And it'd be really hard to work.

• 23:47Alex Cooper?

  At that age, technically at sixteen, you are the thing that's making all the money for all the people around you. And if you stop, it all ends.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  And also at a certain point, I was paying for the roof over my whole family's head. And my dad had quit his job to become my manager. So it was, his income was coming from me. Uh, my mom was a stay at home mom, um, didn't, you know, wasn't reliant on, well, I mean, kind of was, but it was just that pressure of like, I'm paying for everything and like, I need to keep going because if things start, start to disappear, so does the finances.

• 24:26Alex Cooper?

  So you reference, if I'm gonna be treated like an adult, I'm gonna party like an adult.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:32Alex Cooper?

  At what point in your Disney career did you begin experimenting with drugs?

• 24:37Speaker 03

  So I started experimenting for the first time when I was 12. I got into, or 13, I got into a car accident and they prescribed me opiates. And my mom didn't think that she'd have to like lock up the opiates from her 13 year old daughter, but like, I was already drinking at that point. I was, you know, had been bullied, was looking for an escape. And when my mom saw how many of the pills had disappeared and how fast they did, she took them away, locked them up. But yeah, I, I drank a lot in my teenage years and then it wasn't till I was about 17 that I started. Well, that's not even true. Like there were times where I'd get certain kinds of pills throughout like

• 25:22Speaker 03

  15, 16. It's still my mom's Xanax. She had a Xanax addiction and like, so it was off and on. And then at 17 is when it kind of was the first time like I, I tried um Coke and like loved it too much. And then that kind of bled into me going to treatment, like right when, right after I turned 18.

• 25:47Alex Cooper?

  When you were drinking, were you drinking alone or were you going out places?

• 25:53Speaker 03

  My first time drinking, I was alone and that was like, should have been a major red flag. I like stole beer from my dad in the fridge, my stepdad and like, took it to my room and drank like four beers just to see what it was like to feel drunk. And like, I was like a little 90 pound, you know, girl. So that was a lot. And then it started being with like friends and it was not, it wasn't ever alone after that, but that was my first time.

• 26:39Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward.

• 27:24Alex Cooper?

  With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more all-in-one app, so you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Competitive APY, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A Member FDIC. When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there. As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to help you know what to do next. Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. When you're kind of at this age where you start to kind of experiment, you're drinking

• 28:08Alex Cooper?

  and everything, did not only your parents, but like management and publicists, did people know you were drinking and doing drugs?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  When it came to management's attention that I had been...

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Doing pills, they definitely were like, this can't happen and like, what's going on and do we need to to get you help? And I was really good at convincing people like, no, it was just like, you know, I had hard times sleeping and blah, blah, blah, or I'd make up excuses and finally, when it got to a point where it was clear that I needed help and I needed to go away, everyone was really supportive of it because it had been like kind of a long time coming.

• 28:50Alex Cooper?

  So thinking about the whole Disney era, I, there was a major wave of purity ring wearing. I can't even, I can't say it with a straight face, okay? Everybody's like, holy fuck. Oh, no pun intended. No pun intended. There was a huge wave of purity ring wearing amongst Disney stars.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:15Alex Cooper?

  What the fuck was that about?

• 29:18Speaker 03

  So I think it was just like my purity, I had a purity ring that came from my church, like way before Disney Channel even happened. I was like 11 or 12 and like, obviously that's not, that shouldn't have even been implemented on 11 or 12 year olds. But I was like, okay, like, I'll, I'll do this, whatever. That quickly went out the window at a certain point. Um, and then I left the others to have their purity adventures on their own. But I mean, to each their own, I don't know, it was a, an interesting thing to come out publicly and say.

• 30:00Alex Cooper?

  It really was because I remember being that age and like, I should have been apparently wearing one because I was a Catholic at the time. God, I'm getting like burned. But I'm like, why are people wearing these things? And it was so, such an interesting, it almost at the time, when I look back on it, really felt like the Disney kids like were getting older and it felt like a way to like really cement like, no, we're really good kids and we don't do anything bad. And it's like, look at my, look at my finger like, oh, they wear a purity ring.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Right. I don't, I don't know. Like I had one and I think I talked about it like once, but like, And it caught a little bit of fire, but I definitely not as much as the other people wearing them. And I quickly hushed about that when I started having sex.

• 30:47Alex Cooper?

  I was like, I lost it. I don't know where it went.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  It broke. I think I'd like, I think it actually literally broke because it was so cheap. And then I was like, well, this is, that's my sign.

• 30:59Alex Cooper?

  Here we go. Have you ever sat down and discussed the challenges of being inside this Disney machine with people like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers?

• 31:14Speaker 03

  I think over the years, like, we talked about it for sure. But I do have a project in the works where I want to talk to some of those people about their experiences and other child stars as well.

• 31:30Alex Cooper?

  Kind of like we were talking about earlier, there are all these systems in place in your life. Everyone, you know, they're taking care of your career with you. And then well into adulthood, your personal life was also being controlled by people that were managing your career. Demi, in what ways was your team controlling your life?

• 31:53Speaker 03

  There was someone that came into the picture. And

• 31:59Speaker 03

  when they came into the picture, everything in my life was controlled. I started having a sober companion, which was helpful for me, but it should not have lasted three years.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  And then it became controlling around my food. And for someone in recovery from an eating disorder, that's so dangerous. It actually exasperated my eating disorder to the point where I became bulimic again. From 2016 to 2018, I was dealing with that. And we're talking like,

• 32:32Speaker 03

  I've never talked about this before, but there was one time where I had binged and purged one night and I came clean to my team and said, hey, this happened. You know, I snuck out of my hotel room because they didn't let me have phones in my hotel rooms because they didn't want me to call room service. I didn't have food in my hotel room, like snacks in the minibar, because they didn't want me to eat the snacks. Ellen talked about this on her show where they cleared the dressing room of like all sugar before I would get in there. She was like, I remember that. And they, after I told them what had happened, my security guard

• 33:16Speaker 03

  walked by my room or was made aware that they had built, they like barricaded me into my hotel room. They put furniture outside of my door so that I couldn't get out and sneak out and eat if I wanted to. And so it was that level of controlling when it came to my food, which just made my eating disorder worse. One time I said, I, I'm throwing up blood. I need to go to treatment. I need to get help. And this was in like 2017 and this person looked at me and said, you're not sick enough. And I think that was his way of saying like, no, you're not going back to treatment because if you do, this will look bad on me. And so I didn't, I didn't go back into treatment and

• 34:01Speaker 03

  I, you know, less than a year later, I ended up overdosing. And so I think it was just like, I felt trapped. I felt like I couldn't get out of this situation. And my way of like blowing everything up was relapsing on drugs and alcohol because they always said, if you use, we're out. And I was like, all right, time to get out. Bye. I've learned a lot from that experience, like no one can control me anymore. And I was under the control for from 18 to 25. And

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Those are years where you're trying to figure out your adulthood. You know, you're no longer a teenager, but for some reason I had people controlling everything I ate. You know, my business decisions were always being made for me. And now I've found my voice. No one can ever do that to me again. And I feel empowered by what I went through because I had to grow and I had to learn to accept that I'm my own boss.

• 35:09Alex Cooper?

  When you, just to clarify, when you're referencing this person is basically trying to keep you from eating. It's for the image to make sure you look thin.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:18Alex Cooper?

  Which helps their career.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:20Alex Cooper?

  And their income. Can you talk a little bit about mentally? Why it's so hard to push away from people that get their claws in you in that position?

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. I would even go so far as to say like, there was a brainwashing element to it where you were totally under the impression that if I don't listen to this person who knows so much about recovery, I'm gonna lose everything. And so you put all of your trust and your faith into one person. And then from that, everyone around me listens to that one person. And they go with it, you know, if, if this person says this is what it is, and this is how it should be, then we listen to them. And then it became,

• 36:03Speaker 03

  it got to the point where like, if they didn't like a chef that I had, they would sit me down and say like, we don't like the chef that you have. We think that you should try someone else. And so I would say, okay. Like I wouldn't, I just put all of my trust and faith into, you know, into people around me that I think didn't have my best interests at heart. The reason why they didn't like that chef that I had was because the chef told me, they said, they read your bank statements to see what you order at Starbucks. To make sure you're not getting like cookies or pastries or things like that.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  And when I found that out, I told them and then they were like, we don't like your chef. And I was like, oh, you, you realize that? That she's the one that told me.

• 36:47Alex Cooper?

  Hearing you talk about this, it does sound not like a version of what Britney Spears went through.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Right.

• 36:56Alex Cooper?

  Like the controlling and the, yeah, the micromanaging to the point where you don't even have control over your own life.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:05Alex Cooper?

  I can't imagine how alone you felt when you said like, they had said, if I used, then they were gone. And then I used. And in a way, it was almost like your cry for help of like, get the fuck away.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:16Alex Cooper?

  A lot of people don't understand this side of the world. And I think that's why I love having you on right now, because people, we get headlines, E! News says something about, and it's like, we don't understand what you as a human being are going through. And people are so ruthless to quickly make a judgment of like, oh, well, she's got all the money in the world. So her, and it's like, listen to what you're saying right now. Like, this is a nightmare.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Right. And I couldn't talk about it. I felt trapped. And, you know, I don't know how many people have gone through that situation, but it is, it is really sad.

• 37:49Alex Cooper?

  In a Bustle article, you asked the question, what do I want my relationship with my manager to look like without enmeshing my own father issues onto him?

• 38:02Alex Cooper?

  What did you mean by that? How were your father issues affecting your relationship with your manager?

• 38:09Speaker 03

  I had such interesting relationships with my dads and, and the abandonment issue from my birth father was so deeply rooted inside of me that when it came to management, like I put, I placed that fatherly figure role onto him and onto this other person that I have mentioned. And so I, when looking for a new manager, I wanted to find someone that I don't place that fatherly figure role onto, and that it's just business.

• 38:38Alex Cooper?

  In your documentary, Dancing with the Devil.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:44Alex Cooper?

  You reveal your virginity was taken from you.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:50Alex Cooper?

  You were raped.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:53Alex Cooper?

  Is it possible to heal from an experience like that?

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I think in a way, time can heal wounds, maybe not all of them. The more time that has gone by, the easier it has gotten. But there's still a sadness, a deep sadness inside of me that someone took that from me at such a young age. And it was hard because this person was also around, like they were also on Disney. And so seeing them around was was difficult. And it really messed up my teenage years. And finally, I went and got help for that.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  And it's been something that I've worked on, but you know, I've had other traumas happen. And it kind of pushes those to the side a little bit. But there are moments where I like, I definitely will cry and just feel the sadness inside of me. Because you know, that's healthy to do. Rather than bottle it up, I just will allow myself to have those moments of like, that was really sad what happened to you and you're a fighter, like you can get through it.

• 40:11Alex Cooper?

  I mean, I can't imagine at that young of an age, having to still have someone be on Disney and having to see someone that did that to you. I mean, you are a survivor.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Thank you. And to be clear, like it wasn't anyone in the immediate Disney circle, you know? Like I've had people ask, you know, questions of like, was it this person or was it that person? And it was like, I don't think it'd be anybody that anyone would guess. But they were friends with someone on set and they'd come around and yeah.

• 40:44Alex Cooper?

  So many people, especially young women, listen to my podcast that have been sexually assaulted. And it's a really.

• 40:53Alex Cooper?

  It's complicated. If you've never been through it, how do you give someone advice on that? Right? And so where have you generated the strength to keep going through trauma?

• 41:02Speaker 03

  I think that I've just had a lot of trauma in my life and there's a persistence, a determination inside of me. And I think I learned that from like the bullying experience of like, you can turn this around and make it into something great. And I'm not saying that I've turned sexual assault into anything great, but um, you know, I've, I've written about it in music. I've healed from it and um, it's just made me stronger.

• 41:33Alex Cooper?

  You are so fucking strong and it is written all over your new album.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 41:39Alex Cooper?

  I was listening to it in my car. I feel like that's also the best place to listen to new music.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  Oh, it's the best.

• 41:45Alex Cooper?

  The best, the best. You're like by yourself, you're listening and you're just like, so first of all, I just want to say I'm a huge fan of your new album.

• 41:52Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 41:53Alex Cooper?

  Holy fuck. Holy fuck is the album. Also, holy fuck, it's so fucking good.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 41:58Alex Cooper?

  Demi, I need to know, how does this album reflect where you are in your life right now?

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Whew, this album, um, it reflects, this album, like actually there's a journey to it. So like in the beginning of the album, you can hear my anger. You can hear like, I left treatment in um, December this last year, um, getting help again. And um, I'm sober again and I feel great. But like, there was all these emotions that I left treatment with and I wanted to convey them in my music. And so the first few songs are like really angry and it's like, this is who I am. Take it or leave it. I know what you're saying about me online. Like, Demi leaves rehab again. Like, I, I see you, I hear you. And then as I started to heal, I was like, you know what?

• 42:45Speaker 03

  I'm actually like getting happier and I was owning my sexuality in a lot of the songs. And then my album became like, so it was like angry, then like,

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Sex and then like love songs.

• 42:59Alex Cooper?

  Your songs are incredibly personal and you always give insight into your life. And I feel like that's why your fans are obsessed with you. It's because you're like, you put it all out there and that's why we love Demi Lovato. It's like, we, and, and I appreciate that because you know, sometimes we don't get a lot from people. And you're like, this is me. This is me.

• 43:20Alex Cooper?

  But, oh my God, everyone's like, stop Alex. But I, I appreciate that. And in the tone of one of the songs, like you are fucking fighting and you're like, I have something to say and I'm going to address it as I always address my journey. And I always talk about what the fuck I'm going through. And so why would this be any fucking different on this album? The song 29.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 43:42Alex Cooper?

  What inspired you to write this song?

• 43:46Speaker 03

  I went to treatment after turning 29. I did a lot of work on myself and I had this realization when I turned 29. And I came out of treatment with anger. I came out of treatment with, um, understanding and growth. And so it was like a reflective song for me. And even though there's undertones of anger, it was like, I really learned a lot about that experience and I decided to write about it.

• 44:18Alex Cooper?

  To anyone that hasn't listened to the song, you need to go listen to it. Just a couple of the lines to give them a. Too young to drink wine, just five years of bleeder. Student and a teacher, far from innocent. What the fuck is consent? Numbers told you not to, but that didn't stop you. Now I'm finally 29. Funny, just like you were at the time. What do you hope people take away from these lyrics?

• 44:46Speaker 03

  If you're a young girl and you think that it's, um, sexy or fun to date older men, um, it's not okay unless you're of age. It's portrayed as like, oh, you scored someone older. That's cool. And it's like, actually that's weird. So it's just like a reflective moment of like, if you are in that situation, just listen to this song and like, kind of think about it.

• 45:16Alex Cooper?

  How did you decide to release it as a single?

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Well, um, it was hard. It was really hard for me to release this as a single because it's so emotional for me and so personal.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  But I think sometimes the public needs the truth. And that's why I decided to release it as a single because I think the message is so important.

• 45:59Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. I feel like it's that time of the year where everyone starts to slow down a little bit. We're reflecting on this past year, maybe

• 46:42Alex Cooper?

  even, you know, we're writing down a few goals for next year. And if you're starting a business and that is something that's on your list, thankfully, the internet has made it easier than ever to do. No matter what stage you're at, Shopify is the best place to start and grow a business. Personally, I have loved how their Shop Pay feature streamlines the entire checkout process. With the holidays coming up, my online shopping addiction is...

• 47:09Alex Cooper?

  Obviously it's at its peak right now. And so I always get excited when I see that little purple shop pay button at checkout. It makes buying something so fast and easy. Instead of digging through and finding my credit card and typing everything in, you can just check out in one click. Yes, I want those sweatpants. Yes, another pair of sweatpants. And for businesses, that also means fewer carts abandoned and more sales. I also love that Shopify lets me run my entire business straight from my phone. So I can upload new merch, check on orders and see what you guys are loving from literally anywhere. It does save me so much time and it lets me actually enjoy the season while growing the business. So are you ready to add entrepreneur to your list of accomplishments?

• 47:54Alex Cooper?

  Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy.

• 48:01Alex Cooper?

  What is your favorite song on the album to have sex to? First of all, saying favorite. First of all, I don't have sex to my own music. Demi, come on. I'll have sex to your music. Go for it. Go for it. Um, I just, I feel, I would feel weird about it. If you had to. If I had to. Or to people listening, which song should they fuck to? Uh, well, it depends if you're trying to be like, like sensual. Sensual. Listen to Come Together. If you're trying to like. Bang it out. Bang it out. You know what? If you're trying to bang it out, listen to Bones. Bones is like, it's like, I want to jump your bones. That's the, that's the hook.

• 48:43Alex Cooper?

  We are not in Disneyland anymore, guys. Disney Channel is dead.

• 48:49Alex Cooper?

  Demi fucking Lovato, you are fucking back with a vengeance. I'm obsessed. Speaking of sex, Demi, you gotta give us a little tea. Are you dating anyone? I, yeah, I'm dating somebody.

• 49:04Alex Cooper?

  Okay, we don't need like too many deets, but like, how's it going? Like, what's the vibe?

• 49:08Speaker 03

  It's going really well.

• 49:10Alex Cooper?

  It's going well.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, can I say that?

• 49:13Alex Cooper?

  It's your life, babe!

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's my life, it's my life.

• 49:16Alex Cooper?

  No more looking at your team.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:17Alex Cooper?

  It's your fucking life!

• 49:18Speaker 03

  It's my life, yeah, um, it's going really well. Yeah.

• 49:23Alex Cooper?

  Okay, when you're dating someone, what is the most important thing you look for in a partner?

• 49:28Speaker 03

  I have to laugh, like, someone, I've been, you know, I've dated people that were beautiful or, you know, sexy, and it's like, um, I still am, like, the person I'm dating is so hot and so sexy, and I am obsessed, but like, I, the most important thing is like, eventually over time, you know, we grow old and looks fade and things like that, like, you have to find someone that completely understands you, but most importantly to me, makes me laugh.

• 49:58Alex Cooper?

  I'm like so happy for you because I can tell it's like fresh and it's great because you are fully, fully blushing. You're like, stop! Demi, new you, we don't fucking ask for permission, what do you want to say?

• 50:10Speaker 03

  That's true, that's true.

• 50:11Alex Cooper?

  What do you want to say? We're not saying names here unless you want to say his name.

• 50:16Alex Cooper?

  Okay, you're gonna go on tour, right?

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Yes, so excited.

• 50:20Alex Cooper?

  Is it hard to date while you're on tour?

• 50:23Speaker 03

  I found that it's actually kind of easy if you make sure that you see each other like,

• 50:27Alex Cooper?

  Okay.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  once every two, three weeks.

• 50:31Alex Cooper?

  Okay, fun.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  Um, it's important to like, to, and it's also FaceTime, like, FaceTime is really helpful. Um, and I'm sure like it's, like, I think what's gonna suck is being away from the person that you're dating, but like, ultimately, it kind of builds anticipation too, for when you do see them, and it's like, so exciting, you know?

• 50:53Alex Cooper?

  So exciting, and I think it's also the test of like, if you can make it through that,

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 50:57Alex Cooper?

  like, that's a great strength building, core exercise, what the fuck am I saying? Um, okay, when you go on tour, what are you looking like most forward to when you're going on this upcoming tour?

• 51:09Speaker 03

  Rocking out because I did, you know, the pop music and kind of R and B pop, which was... Fun, but also at the same time, I felt like it wasn't me. Like I was trying too hard to be sexy. And I was in the little leotards and the, you know, stiletto heels and I wasn't comfortable. And so I want to be comfortable on the stage and I will be. And I can just completely be myself, which is going to be so exciting.

• 51:37Alex Cooper?

  Will we be seeing like a little old Demi music vibe also on tour?

• 51:43Speaker 03

  Old music, yes. You will definitely, because it matches the sound. And I've also, which is the most exciting, I've also turned like my hits into the style of music that I'm doing today. So like, you know, "Cool for the Summer" sounds totally different. "Heart Attack" sounds totally different. "Confidence" sounds totally different. And it's like, it's so, and sorry, not sorry, like, all of those songs sound totally different. And I'm like so excited for everyone to hear it. You know, I started out with really great instincts on how to be myself. And I strayed away from it because I wanted, I wanted hits. I wanted what people wanted to hear. And so I lost myself for a long period of time when it came to me musically.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  And I've never had an experience in the studio like I've had making this album, where it's just so fulfilling, so myself. And, it's just so fun to sing and I can't wait to perform it.

• 52:40Alex Cooper?

  Demi Lovato, thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  Thank you. Thank you so much.

• 53:00Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season. Whether you're updating a small apartment or a spacious home, drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches, Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers' prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by American Eagle. Holiday outfits just got way easier. American Eagles new arrivals are basically everything you need right now.

• 53:43Alex Cooper?

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• 54:28Alex Cooper?

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