Connor Nobrows and Brooke Noseforward Get High

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: https://sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr This week, Brooke and Connor get silly and talk about their flaky Darwin’s tubercle, Spongebob’s lost episode, and doing full frontal on the podcast. Plus, they ask each other 36 questions to fall in love. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Order now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code BNC for 20% off of your first order + free shipping on orders over $95, and enjoy life in the high country. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BANDC Shop Brooke’s favorite bras and underwear at http://www.skims.com/bnc #skimspartner Use code BNC for 15% off at https://barebells.com Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm to Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 Live from the Cann 4:55 Tristan & Channing’s Song 9:25 Monsterbate Romances 12:36 Animals in Human Form 17:30 Willie’s Remedy 19:05 Rocket Money 21:02 Max as a Person 23:58 One Second a Day 26:55 Calculus 30:08 The Lost Episode 35:27 Cheeks Out 39:29 Skims 40:36 Barebells 41:34 Hello Fresh 43:16 Bathing Suit Down 45:58 Pazuzu 51:24 Falling in Love 1:01:40 Being 30 Forever 1:05:44 Treasured Memories 1:10:45 See You in Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Your vehicle doesn't just get you from here to there. It's a bridge to the people and places that matter most. It's how you show up for your family, your community, and everyone else that depends on you. That's why for 125 years, Firestone has been building tires with one thing in mind: To deliver products that are as reliable as you are. Firestone: Always Dependable, Since 1900.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  When you think like an athlete,

• 0:34Speaker 01

  setbacks don't stop you. But mindset alone doesn't get you moving again. That's where Icy Hot steps in. Ice works fast.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Heat makes it last. So when the rest of the world settles because of a setback, Icy Hot accelerates your comeback with fast-acting, powerful pain relief. Icy Hot: You're So Back.

• 1:06Brooke Averick?

  The thing about cans is that I haven't had one in a long time.

• 1:10Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 1:10Brooke Averick?

  So I think it's gonna, that's why it's hit me hard and fast. But if I remember, they kind of fade fast as well.

• 1:19Connor Wood?

  They come in really hot and yeah.

• 1:21Brooke Averick?

  Right?

• 1:21Connor Wood?

  They burn, they burn.

• 1:22Brooke Averick?

  They burn bright?

• 1:23Connor Wood?

  They burn bright.

• 1:25Brooke Averick?

  So we'll be okay.

• 1:43Connor Wood?

  Why can't something burn bright for a long time? We have, I saw.

• 1:47Brooke Averick?

  It will, it will explode on itself.

• 1:50Connor Wood?

  Well, that's like the sun. But like I just.

• 1:52Brooke Averick?

  Sun will explode.

• 1:53Connor Wood?

  I know, it's disappointing.

• 1:55Brooke Averick?

  Disappoint, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

• 1:57Connor Wood?

  It is like, you don't need to be so bright, I'm sweating. Maybe if you weren't burning so bright, you could, we could drag this thing out a little bit. Oh, how disappointing that the sun will be out one day. Woo, change the subject, hurry.

• 2:13Brooke Averick?

  Uh, flagging that Connor and I have chugged cans, the THC infused drink before this episode. And I worry for its quality.

• 2:26Connor Wood?

  I don't.

• 2:27Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 2:27Connor Wood?

  I know my, I know, I know a can inside and out, trust.

• 2:30Brooke Averick?

  I thought I did, man. I thought I knew. Cause these are the little ones.

• 2:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, they're babies.

• 2:37Brooke Averick?

  And usually the little ones, like I need two, but what happened today was I only needed a few sips for it to hit my empty stomach.

• 2:45Connor Wood?

  Well, I can't wait for everyone to hear the ads with that was.

• 2:47Brooke Averick?

  No, that wasn't okay.

• 2:48Connor Wood?

  We recorded the ads, um, at the, at, before we recorded this, so. This is post ads. I think you'll know, well, I think you will hear little inklings. I'm gonna move on from talking about it.

• 3:02Brooke Averick?

  Dude.

• 3:03Connor Wood?

  What? Why are you talking like a hippie?

• 3:09Brooke Averick?

  I have something a little gross to say.

• 3:11Connor Wood?

  Alright, man. What? We never talk about gross stuff.

• 3:15Brooke Averick?

  No, this is gross, but my ears have been like really flaky this winter.

• 3:23Brooke Averick?

  Like more than any other season.

• 3:25Connor Wood?

  Was it a white Christmas?

• 3:26Brooke Averick?

  It's just like, why my ears as opposed to any other, like my ears are as worse than my scalp.

• 3:34Connor Wood?

  What's like the inside of your ear?

• 3:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you don't have just like ear crap?

• 3:42Connor Wood?

  I floss a lot, alright, um.

• 3:44Brooke Averick?

  Q-tip?

• 3:44Connor Wood?

  Q-tip a lot.

• 3:45Brooke Averick?

  It's not like, it's just like the skin of my ears, like the outside, not in the hole.

• 3:50Connor Wood?

  The outside?

• 3:51Brooke Averick?

  Not, no, no, no, no, the outside of the inside.

• 3:56Connor Wood?

  What is this?

• 3:57Brooke Averick?

  Like this thing.

• 3:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah, what is it? I guess it's the.

• 4:00Brooke Averick?

  Should we look up parts of the ear?

• 4:02Connor Wood?

  No.

• 4:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, let's look up part of the ear, I'll tell you what's flaking.

• 4:05Connor Wood?

  Hang on, I did trivia. Can you, you wanna hear something crazy? Do you know the part of your body, your appendage that has the tiniest bones?

• 4:14Brooke Averick?

  Your nose?

• 4:15Connor Wood?

  Your ear, we're talking about ears right now.

• 4:16Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:18Connor Wood?

  Um, it has three tiny bones.

• 4:19Brooke Averick?

  My conscience is so flaky.

• 4:24Brooke Averick?

  And not to mention my anthrax.

• 4:27Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, for me, it's my Darwin's turbacle.

• 4:33Connor Wood?

  Or it could be my

• 4:36Connor Wood?

  intertrigle notch.

• 4:37Brooke Averick?

  Are you talking about the intertrigle notch?

• 4:39Connor Wood?

  So where are you guys going for spring break? Probably the simba concha and then we're gonna make our way over to the Darwin's turbacle for dinner.

• 4:50Connor Wood?

  And we're gonna take the helix.

• 4:51Brooke Averick?

  Why don't they like, this is what the piercing should be called? Like I have the conch, oh, that's funny. It is called the conch piercing.

• 4:59Connor Wood?

  Is it?

• 4:59Brooke Averick?

  I used to have a conch piercing. It's on the concha. And that's the helix. There's a helix piercing.

• 5:06Connor Wood?

  Is it really?

• 5:07Brooke Averick?

  But I, there should, I actually genuinely, Jen on God, have my Darwin's turbacle pierced.

• 5:14Brooke Averick?

  And it should be called the Darwin's turbacle piercing.

• 5:18Connor Wood?

  I don't like that. It sounds like you're, it sounds like, it sounds like a late-stage

• 5:22Brooke Averick?

  There is the triangular fossa.

• 5:25Connor Wood?

  I don't know why they had to go so hard with scientific names, like outside, inside, soft.

• 5:30Brooke Averick?

  But it just seems like we shortened them. Like, why couldn't we just say lobule instead of lo- lope? Like, it's not that hard, that much harder to say lobule.

• 5:39Connor Wood?

  It's like, that's kind of like, almost in, you're almost putting that, like, an accent on it. Lobule.

• 5:43Brooke Averick?

  Like filiac, like home, like lobule?

• 5:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like an extra thing. Lobe, we can all agree on lobe.

• 5:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 5:48Connor Wood?

  We'll always have lobe.

• 5:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you're talking about like the general population, not just me? Okay.

• 5:55Brooke Averick?

  Wait, you have to hear Tristan and Channing's song. You wanna try, sorry?

• 5:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah, let's do that. Wait, that one's called, wait, can we go back to the ears? So sorry. The metis?

• 6:05Brooke Averick?

  Where are you seeing the metis?

• 6:06Connor Wood?

  The external auditory metis?

• 6:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:09Connor Wood?

  Metis?

• 6:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:10Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 6:12Connor Wood?

  They should call Dali's metis.

• 6:16Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 6:18Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, just to... Can you explain this?

• 6:21Connor Wood?

  I don't... So I know that Tristan and Channing had written a song alongside Noel.

• 6:26Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 6:28Connor Wood?

  But that he helped with it?

• 6:29Brooke Averick?

  Not at all.

• 6:30Connor Wood?

  Made up that?

• 6:31Brooke Averick?

  I think this is just them. They just made a song with... With some producers. They wrote a song.

• 6:38Connor Wood?

  It's called Always Been You?

• 6:39Brooke Averick?

  It's called Always Been You. It's a Valentine's Day song.

• 6:41Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, this is perfect. Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. We're pre-recording this. My Valentine's is tomorrow.

• 6:47Brooke Averick?

  Mine too.

• 6:47Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 6:50Connor Wood?

  Um... So they recorded this in a studio?

• 6:53Brooke Averick?

  In a studio. It's called Always Been You. Did you say that?

• 6:56Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:58Brooke Averick?

  It is genuinely... I heard it for the first time this morning. An incredible song. It sounds like a One Direction song.

• 7:05Connor Wood?

  Let's hear it.

• 7:06Brooke Averick?

  I want to do this with you.

• 7:07Connor Wood?

  I do too.

• 7:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I want to... I don't mean to copy them, but I do want to do this exact thing.

• 7:13Connor Wood?

  I mean... What did they say? Good artists copy, great artists steal.

• 7:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 7:19Connor Wood?

  We should just re-release this.

• 7:20Brooke Averick?

  I don't think we need to steal it, but I think we just need to make our own. I want to be in the studio. Okay. Listen to this.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  Oh, laude, here we go again.

• 7:38Brooke Averick?

  Doesn't this sound like One Direction?

• 7:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like OG.

• 7:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:04Connor Wood?

  What the fuck?

• 8:05Brooke Averick?

  Like it's good?

• 8:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like funny. Like that it's this new.

• 8:25Connor Wood?

  Oh, good little hut.

• 8:26Brooke Averick?

  This is my favorite part coming up.

• 8:33Connor Wood?

  It is good.

• 8:34Brooke Averick?

  Really good.

• 8:37Brooke Averick?

  I think this is my favorite part, the second stanza I really like.

• 8:40Connor Wood?

  Stanza?

• 8:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:44Brooke Averick?

  Almost there. How great was that?

• 8:46Connor Wood?

  My first time living through? Is it, is it all there like with shangs?

• 8:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, they're definitely interspersed.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Been pre-screwing since lunch. Do what now for me?

• 9:04Brooke Averick?

  That's my favorite part.

• 9:08Brooke Averick?

  My thought I spoke to the sea.

• 9:10Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's funny.

• 9:13Connor Wood?

  Talk about the heat.

• 9:20Connor Wood?

  How do they, how do you get the music for it? Like, who did that?

• 9:23Speaker 06

  The, so we had a producer write the like music part of it. And then we went into the studio and wrote it.

• 9:33Brooke Averick?

  Is that not amazing?

• 9:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that is amazing.

• 9:35Brooke Averick?

  What would you want? Like, to me, that's giving like country meets pop. Meats.

• 9:41Connor Wood?

  She's from Texas, I can tell by the way.

• 9:45Brooke Averick?

  Like, and One Direction.

• 9:49Connor Wood?

  I think we should do-

• 9:49Brooke Averick?

  What is our sound?

• 9:50Connor Wood?

  Rap.

• 9:52Brooke Averick?

  Ah, your, how about your verse is rap?

• 9:55Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh. We could do like-

• 9:56Brooke Averick?

  We could literally do Ludacris, "When I was 13, that's you and I'll be Justin."

• 10:01Connor Wood?

  Okay, cool. I like that.

• 10:02Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Oh, I love that shit.

• 10:04Connor Wood?

  Oh, I like it too, a lot.

• 10:05Brooke Averick?

  So, yeah, you'll do the rap verse.

• 10:07Connor Wood?

  So, yeah, I will.

• 10:09Brooke Averick?

  What, well, okay. Perfect. And I'll do like a show tune and you come in with the rap.

• 10:14Connor Wood?

  It could be really like, um- It could be really a mashup.

• 10:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 10:22Brooke Averick?

  I do. I really like this. Okay.

• 10:24Connor Wood?

  Um, I wanted to flag really quickly.

• 10:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:27Connor Wood?

  Brooke is not doing the, we're, we're putting a hold on the morning.

• 10:30Brooke Averick?

  Just temporarily hold on milking farm.

• 10:32Connor Wood?

  On milking farm. But I did want to, did you see what this says at the?

• 10:36Brooke Averick?

  A masturbate romance?

• 10:37Connor Wood?

  A masturbate romance? Is that a play on words?

• 10:39Brooke Averick?

  I think it's play on words for masturbate.

• 10:41Connor Wood?

  And we didn't catch that this was not like a?

• 10:44Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I knew.

• 10:45Connor Wood?

  She's, she's tugging his, she's tugging his chain?

• 10:49Brooke Averick?

  Oh, baby, I knew all along.

• 10:50Connor Wood?

  Oh, wow. It took me a second.

• 10:51Brooke Averick?

  But you saw that her, she has a new book coming out. I sent you yesterday. Same author.

• 10:59Brooke Averick?

  It is.

• 11:00Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:01Brooke Averick?

  Let's see what it's called.

• 11:02Connor Wood?

  The young woman.

• 11:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic.

• 11:06Connor Wood?

  So the young.

• 11:07Brooke Averick?

  It's a masturbate romance.

• 11:09Connor Wood?

  The young woman is, is, is spinning a wheel with a couple of words on it and it's just a.

• 11:12Brooke Averick?

  And it's werewolf, which I am more comfortable with personally. Because it's more, they're more, a lot more human. But someone said, I need to face my prejudice.

• 11:21Connor Wood?

  I would just say, if you look at this, like this, this Minotaur has my, you know, my dream body.

• 11:26Brooke Averick?

  My Minotaur prejudice.

• 11:27Connor Wood?

  My dream body, but it just goes to show you that like. No, I'm not gonna say what I was gonna say. Yeah, it's like weird.

• 11:32Brooke Averick?

  Say it.

• 11:33Connor Wood?

  No, I'm like, I was gonna say that the, the Minotaur was a butter face, but like.

• 11:38Brooke Averick?

  We don't know like what's attractive to their standards. Don't you, do you ever think that? This, I wanted to talk to you about this last night.

• 11:46Connor Wood?

  What?

• 11:47Brooke Averick?

  Um, first of all, I was gonna say, do you ever think like, are animals like, that he's hot? Like in the animal world, like he's hot.

• 11:55Connor Wood?

  I think it's like.

• 11:56Brooke Averick?

  Like cat on cat, like he's hotter than him. And there be, we don't know what their beauty standards are.

• 12:01Connor Wood?

  We talked about this. We're reverse engineering a conversation that we had.

• 12:06Brooke Averick?

  What was the conversation?

• 12:07Connor Wood?

  Evolution. And who, who benefits from being like, no one benefits from, there was no, there's no evolutionary.

• 12:15Brooke Averick?

  Yes, there is.

• 12:15Connor Wood?

  Reason for someone to be ugly.

• 12:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, there is. I just figured it out.

• 12:18Connor Wood?

  What is it?

• 12:19Brooke Averick?

  There needs to be tiers. Like you can't all be going for the same people.

• 12:23Connor Wood?

  T, oh.

• 12:24Brooke Averick?

  It's a population thing. Like if we were all going, wait, hold on for me. I had it so.

• 12:30Connor Wood?

  If everyone.

• 12:31Brooke Averick?

  I call it so clearly and it slipped through my graph.

• 12:33Connor Wood?

  If everyone was a 10, is that, did you say it slipped through your rack?

• 12:36Brooke Averick?

  It slipped through my cracks.

• 12:38Connor Wood?

  I'm sorry.

• 12:39Brooke Averick?

  Listen.

• 12:39Connor Wood?

  I had it on the tip of my tongue, but it slipped through my rack.

• 12:42Brooke Averick?

  If everyone was a 10, it'd be like a free for all. It's confusing. It's like that episode of The Fairly Odd Parents where everyone's a gray blob. It's like, who do we go for? It's like, you don't.

• 12:50Connor Wood?

  Then it's all based on personality.

• 12:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, then you'd all want the same people because you want the people with the good personality. We have to be broken up into groups. No, I feel like I'm doing pro segregation right now and it's not what I mean at all. I want to stop. Here's what I want to do. I want to stop talking right now.

• 13:09Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 13:10Brooke Averick?

  And I want to come back to, I don't think I ever had a grasp on what I was trying to say. I appreciate you letting me try.

• 13:18Brooke Averick?

  And I don't think, I don't think that, I don't believe in segregation at all.

• 13:23Connor Wood?

  You made that very.

• 13:24Brooke Averick?

  I want to be very clear about one thing.

• 13:26Connor Wood?

  None of us are sure.

• 13:27Brooke Averick?

  I want to go back to a few minutes ago when we didn't have this conversation.

• 13:30Connor Wood?

  But before that, we were talking about would you rather fuck a dog or a cow?

• 13:35Brooke Averick?

  Here's what I remember I was gonna say.

• 13:36Connor Wood?

  You want to go back to that?

• 13:38Brooke Averick?

  Do you ever, like with Max?

• 13:40Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 13:40Brooke Averick?

  Think about what he would look like in human form? And have we had this conversation?

• 13:44Connor Wood?

  I don't think about that with my dog, but I look at other dogs. I go, I know exactly who you would be.

• 13:48Brooke Averick?

  I know exactly who Rob would be. If he were a human, if he were to transform into a human, I know exactly.

• 13:56Connor Wood?

  Did we?

• 13:59Connor Wood?

  Did we talk about this?

• 14:00Brooke Averick?

  I don't know.

• 14:02Connor Wood?

  Izzy.

• 14:03Brooke Averick?

  I don't think we did. I think we talked about Jack Black, like sorting people into cat and dog. Like Jack Black being a dog.

• 14:09Connor Wood?

  Boy.

• 14:10Brooke Averick?

  Exactly. Yeah, it was a similar conversation.

• 14:14Connor Wood?

  Well, I just believe that all dogs are boys and all cats are girls regardless of their gender.

• 14:19Brooke Averick?

  I think all cats are boys now because mine are boys.

• 14:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 14:22Brooke Averick?

  But I used to believe you.

• 14:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, okay.

• 14:24Brooke Averick?

  Do you want to hear who Rob is?

• 14:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Brooke Averick?

  I don't know the actor's name. Can you look up the cast of Knives Out 2: Glass Onion, Izzy?

• 14:32Connor Wood?

  That is a good one.

• 14:33Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it's freaking incredible. Have you seen the third one?

• 14:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I didn't like it.

• 14:37Brooke Averick?

  Um. Dave. Dave. Batista.

• 14:43Connor Wood?

  Batista?

• 14:44Brooke Averick?

  That's Rob. That's Rob.

• 14:46Connor Wood?

  You think your cat looks like Dave Batista?

• 14:47Brooke Averick?

  If he were to transform into a human, yeah.

• 14:49Connor Wood?

  Bro, your cat is not a Batista.

• 14:51Brooke Averick?

  Yes, he is. And Jonathan is Troye Sivan.

• 14:55Connor Wood?

  You're projecting a very sickened fantasy onto your cat.

• 14:58Brooke Averick?

  I don't have a fantasy about Dave.

• 15:01Connor Wood?

  Who did you, oh, you saw Dave in in Glass Onion?

• 15:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 15:08Connor Wood?

  You think?

• 15:08Brooke Averick?

  But I didn't have Rob then. So it wasn't crossing my mind, but I was thinking about Rob last night.

• 15:13Connor Wood?

  I'm in the same boat, trying to post an Instagram story. It's like it's been since we started recording. It's been 14 minutes. I haven't posted it.

• 15:19Brooke Averick?

  I'm able to try and imagine what it looked like for me to try and post my tour announcement.

• 15:23Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 15:24Brooke Averick?

  After my can. A few minutes ago, 14 minutes ago, I did that.

• 15:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's, that, is that not who Rob would be if the fairy, if a fairy godmother turned him into a human?

• 15:36Connor Wood?

  No, he looks like that guy you went to high school with.

• 15:38Brooke Averick?

  Who?

• 15:41Connor Wood?

  How, how would I know?

• 15:43Brooke Averick?

  He does not look like anyone I went to high school.

• 15:45Connor Wood?

  Yeah, he looks like, um,

• 15:48Connor Wood?

  not corn sweat.

• 15:49Brooke Averick?

  He doesn't look like David Cornsweat.

• 15:51Connor Wood?

  Cornsweat. Remember when they used to name people's last names over like what you did a lot? Imagine being named Cornsweat.

• 15:57Brooke Averick?

  Did they used to name people's last?

• 15:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like Blacksmith. And then someone's name was like Megan Blacksmith.

• 16:04Brooke Averick?

  I didn't know that.

• 16:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, right? That's where it all came from.

• 16:09Brooke Averick?

  Then what would, how did it devolve?

• 16:13Connor Wood?

  Dyslexia. Let's move your, let's move your last name around.

• 16:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah, last names originated during the Middle Ages in Europe and much earlier in China as populations grew and to distinguish individuals with the first name, same first name, people adopted names based on their occupation, location, parentage, or physical characteristics. Whatever that means. Imagine physical characteristics.

• 16:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I wouldn't like that.

• 16:37Connor Wood?

  Connor No-Brows?

• 16:39Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I like that. That sounds good.

• 16:41Connor Wood?

  That kind of rolls off the tongue. What would yours be?

• 16:44Brooke Averick?

  Depends what stage in my life. I guess it's hard because you have to name someone when they're a baby.

• 16:51Brooke Averick?

  You would just take your parents.

• 16:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but there's genetics. There's genetics.

• 16:56Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it would be nose. It would be nose forward. Which, but then that's like I got.

• 17:01Connor Wood?

  Brooke nose forward?

• 17:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:04Connor Wood?

  That works.

• 17:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Connor Wood?

  Connor, Connor no brows and Brooke's nose forward make a podcast.

• 17:09Brooke Averick?

  But then it's like you got a nose job and you lose.

• 17:12Connor Wood?

  You have to change your name.

• 17:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Connor Wood?

  Or you can hyphenate.

• 17:15Brooke Averick?

  Do you change your name?

• 17:17Connor Wood?

  FKA nose forward.

• 17:19Brooke Averick?

  Formerly known as name nose forward.

• 17:21Connor Wood?

  Brooke rhinoplasty?

• 17:22Brooke Averick?

  This might be too dumb.

• 17:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, we're high. I don't know what you want.

• 17:26Brooke Averick?

  I don't either.

• 17:27Connor Wood?

  Um, we're not high.

• 17:29Brooke Averick?

  Who would Max be as a human?

• 17:33Connor Wood?

  Like KJ Appa. I could kind of see. High energy, kind of a freak.

• 17:37Brooke Averick?

  I don't see that.

• 17:38Connor Wood?

  A freak in the sheets.

• 17:39Brooke Averick?

  I don't see that for Max.

• 17:40Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 17:41Brooke Averick?

  Did you just call your dog a freak in the sheets? And is that the thing you want to, wanted to do?

• 17:46Connor Wood?

  Why do you think your cat's Dave Bautista? That's something that I want to look into.

• 17:49Brooke Averick?

  That's just what I see.

• 17:51Connor Wood?

  I see.

• 17:52Brooke Averick?

  Why are you, you're, I feel like you're projecting something sexual onto that.

• 17:55Connor Wood?

  Uh-uh, no.

• 17:56Brooke Averick?

  It feels that way.

• 17:57Connor Wood?

  No.

• 17:59Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 18:00Connor Wood?

  I just, Dave Bautista to me reminds me of like.

• 18:03Brooke Averick?

  Dave Bautista. That's lost all meaning to me.

• 18:05Connor Wood?

  Completely.

• 18:06Brooke Averick?

  It's just like a sad string of.

• 18:08Connor Wood?

  Completely.

• 18:09Brooke Averick?

  Nonsense.

• 18:09Connor Wood?

  And I bet like his family used to be baristas and then something, someone fell and hit their head and they're like, Bautista. And then that stuck.

• 18:17Brooke Averick?

  Did you say barista?

• 18:18Connor Wood?

  Event, yeah.

• 18:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:19Connor Wood?

  At one point I said barista, but now it's, it's like.

• 18:22Brooke Averick?

  No, because I was going to say they were probably baristas. And then I was like, wait, I think he just said that.

• 18:27Connor Wood?

  Parallel thinking.

• 18:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:28Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  Real value shows up in reliability. You don't have to second guess. Like a set of Firestone all season tires. They're designed to deliver confidence inspiring wet weather traction and a quieter ride no matter the road. Season after season. Firestone all season tires. For durability you can count on, just like people count on you. Firestone. Always dependable. Since 1900.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  When you think like an athlete, setbacks don't stop you. But mindset alone doesn't get you moving again. That's where Icy Hot steps in. Ice works fast. Heat makes it last.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  So when the rest of the world settles because of a setback, Icy Hot accelerates your comeback with fast-acting, powerful pain relief. Icy Hot, you're so back.

• 19:28Connor Wood?

  But, uh, uh, what was I gonna say about Dave?

• 19:33Brooke Averick?

  That's not KJ.

• 19:35Connor Wood?

  Do me a favor and don't scroll up on this image.

• 19:37Brooke Averick?

  You know who this is?

• 19:40Connor Wood?

  Who?

• 19:41Brooke Averick?

  This is, he's like Sam Rockwell.

• 19:43Connor Wood?

  Wow, I used to get way more likes than I do now.

• 19:48Brooke Averick?

  Hmm, no, I changed my mind. I changed my mind.

• 19:52Connor Wood?

  What?

• 19:53Brooke Averick?

  Changed my mind.

• 19:55Connor Wood?

  There needs to be, there's so much AI, there needs to be a who would my dog be famous person like generator?

• 20:01Brooke Averick?

  Generator.

• 20:02Connor Wood?

  All right. Dave, Dave Bautista. Oh, that's gonna be my new thing.

• 20:06Brooke Averick?

  It would be someone with like a heavy Adam Lambert. Heavy eyeliner.

• 20:13Connor Wood?

  No, I think it's more of like, um, Adam, uh, Maroon 5.

• 20:20Brooke Averick?

  Hmm.

• 20:21Connor Wood?

  That is not Max, I'm sorry.

• 20:25Connor Wood?

  That's not Max. Max does not look like Adam Lambert. Just like, that's, that's, he's more of like a black cat. That could be.

• 20:33Brooke Averick?

  Adam Lambert. I could see that.

• 20:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 20:36Brooke Averick?

  I could see that.

• 20:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 20:39Brooke Averick?

  A hundred percent.

• 20:41Connor Wood?

  I think that that's helping. Are we talking at a pace that works for a podcast?

• 20:45Brooke Averick?

  I do feel like it's minus 2X.

• 20:47Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 20:49Brooke Averick?

  Do you?

• 20:50Connor Wood?

  I mean, this is not Max either.

• 20:52Brooke Averick?

  You know who showed up on my For You page last night?

• 20:54Connor Wood?

  Who?

• 20:55Brooke Averick?

  Remember Sanjaya?

• 20:56Connor Wood?

  No.

• 20:57Brooke Averick?

  You're lying.

• 20:58Connor Wood?

  Sanjaya?

• 20:59Brooke Averick?

  Sanjaya. From American Idol.

• 21:02Connor Wood?

  I didn't watch American Idol.

• 21:03Brooke Averick?

  You don't, you didn't know Sanjaya?

• 21:04Connor Wood?

  No.

• 21:05Brooke Averick?

  Sanjaya, is it Sanjaya or Sanjaya? Or am I thinking of Zendaya? No, Sanjaya. Does anyone remember who I'm talking about? There's no way.

• 21:18Connor Wood?

  No, okay.

• 21:18Brooke Averick?

  This couldn't have been a niche experience.

• 21:20Connor Wood?

  No, okay, so no one, no one knows.

• 21:23Brooke Averick?

  He, there was just something about Sanjaya that... What, what, Sanjaya, Sanj-

• 21:29Connor Wood?

  Bro, you gotta give up.

• 21:31Brooke Averick?

  I'm losing, it's slipping through my grasp, Sanjaya.

• 21:34Connor Wood?

  It's slipping right through my rack.

• 21:35Brooke Averick?

  He wa- he was just a phenomenon, like, he wasn't good, but he was a personality and he made it very far.

• 21:44Connor Wood?

  That can be so-

• 21:45Brooke Averick?

  Because they thought he had what it took to be the American Idol despite not being able to sing.

• 21:51Connor Wood?

  That's foresight.

• 21:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I think.

• 21:54Connor Wood?

  Hmm.

• 22:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh wait, he's great.

• 22:03Connor Wood?

  He's good.

• 22:04Brooke Averick?

  I think he's incredible, holy shit.

• 22:09Brooke Averick?

  Maybe he couldn't sing once he got to the big leagues.

• 22:11Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, that sucks.

• 22:12Brooke Averick?

  Something, he wasn't like, he might, I don't know, I don't really remember why we loved Sanjaya.

• 22:17Connor Wood?

  Why were you telling me that you saw him last night?

• 22:18Brooke Averick?

  I don't know, man.

• 22:19Connor Wood?

  It's just flagging.

• 22:20Brooke Averick?

  I thought you would have known him.

• 22:23Connor Wood?

  Wow, the only thing I have in my notepad for today is I want to get lucky.

• 22:28Brooke Averick?

  What do you want to happen?

• 22:30Connor Wood?

  Not sexually, I just would like something good to happen to me and kind of, I don't want to work for it, I just kind of want it to fall in my lap.

• 22:35Brooke Averick?

  A lot of good things have happened to you.

• 22:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no, I want more.

• 22:38Brooke Averick?

  You should start a gratitude journal.

• 22:40Connor Wood?

  I have one.

• 22:41Brooke Averick?

  Do you use it?

• 22:41Connor Wood?

  Video.

• 22:42Brooke Averick?

  You have a gratitude video?

• 22:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah, the horizontal style.

• 22:45Brooke Averick?

  Of like, things you say you're thankful for?

• 22:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and I was having a blast, last night I went on a walk on the, uh, boardwalk. And I was filming just outwardly gratitude vibes, everyone down there is kind of talking to themselves, so like, it wasn't weird or uncomfortable for me to be vlogging style, my gratitude.

• 23:04Brooke Averick?

  Did you ever do one second a day?

• 23:05Connor Wood?

  No.

• 23:07Brooke Averick?

  Why'd you say it like, "Ugh, no"?

• 23:09Connor Wood?

  I don't-

• 23:11Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 23:12Brooke Averick?

  I did.

• 23:13Connor Wood?

  You did?

• 23:14Brooke Averick?

  And you film one second of every day for the year and then it makes a movie at the end.

• 23:19Connor Wood?

  The one second isn't like enough for me to gra- like, it's just-

• 23:21Brooke Averick?

  You are, you would be shocked at how long a second is.

• 23:25Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 23:25Brooke Averick?

  What, in, in film.

• 23:34Connor Wood?

  Tell me more.

• 23:34Brooke Averick?

  It just, it felt long and it was a long.

• 23:39Brooke Averick?

  Izzy, can you, wait, it's 365 seconds. That's, that's over two minutes.

• 23:46Connor Wood?

  That's like an episode of Tyler.

• 23:48Brooke Averick?

  It's like a very long TikTok.

• 23:52Brooke Averick?

  Wait, what?

• 23:53Connor Wood?

  It's six.

• 23:58Brooke Averick?

  Okay, it's six minutes, as I was saying.

• 24:01Connor Wood?

  That's so long.

• 24:02Brooke Averick?

  Wait, you have got a.

• 24:05Brooke Averick?

  Oh, absolutely. I think I get that.

• 24:09Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I think I get it.

• 24:13Brooke Averick?

  I remember the day I learned long division.

• 24:16Connor Wood?

  Please don't say division here.

• 24:17Brooke Averick?

  I remember the day.

• 24:19Connor Wood?

  Whoa, Brooke, could you, could you, and not, like, outside of this specific window of time? And where we are mentally? Could you draw this thing? Put a number here and put a number here? And say, oh, let me get to the bottom of this.

• 24:37Brooke Averick?

  Zero percent chance.

• 24:39Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh. Ask me, ask me to divide something.

• 24:42Brooke Averick?

  No, zero percent.

• 24:43Connor Wood?

  Can we do, can we, someone asked me to divide something?

• 24:45Brooke Averick?

  And then putting the bigger number in front of the smaller one, like, that makes any sense?

• 24:49Connor Wood?

  Go to hell.

• 24:50Brooke Averick?

  Thirty-six divided, do you want me to do something that goes in evenly or not?

• 24:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, like, start me off kind of easy.

• 24:56Brooke Averick?

  Thirty-six divided by six.

• 24:58Connor Wood?

  Six.

• 24:59Brooke Averick?

  Amazing.

• 25:00Connor Wood?

  Whoa. That was not even me.

• 25:04Brooke Averick?

  Fifty divided by five.

• 25:06Connor Wood?

  Ten.

• 25:07Brooke Averick?

  Fifty-two divided by two.

• 25:12Brooke Averick?

  I'm just saying the day.

• 25:13Connor Wood?

  Fifty-two divided by two?

• 25:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 25:15Connor Wood?

  Twenty-six?

• 25:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you can do this. You're really good.

• 25:19Connor Wood?

  I don't, I don't, well, I failed, you know I failed calculus. Calculus.

• 25:25Brooke Averick?

  That's, I don't, I don't.

• 25:28Connor Wood?

  Oh, my God, that made me fucking sick. Like, I don't even want to do the rest of the podcast because I heard the word calculus.

• 25:35Connor Wood?

  When they started putting the numbers into the math.

• 25:37Brooke Averick?

  Into the, that sign?

• 25:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, they never even gave us a reason as to why we were doing that.

• 25:43Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 25:43Connor Wood?

  What is that, you, we weren't even solving for, I understand when you're solving for x. We gotta figure out x. A, B, C, D. What are those? Why did you put those in there? What was it for? I really think that at some point, it was just like, let's see how far we can push these dummies. I'm gonna add a bunch of letters. How many did they used to have in there? Like, tell E. Sometimes there was an F.

• 26:08Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 26:08Connor Wood?

  I've never seen a G. Too close.

• 26:10Brooke Averick?

  I don't remember that. I'll be honest. I, to, to think that I made it through those classes.

• 26:16Connor Wood?

  Oh, I think, I think this is the episode where people start ex, ex, a mass exodus.

• 26:21Brooke Averick?

  It's not our fault. This is where

• 26:25Brooke Averick?

  we genuinely are under.

• 26:27Connor Wood?

  No one else even, we could possibly blame it on.

• 26:31Brooke Averick?

  I can't. I just was trying to tell you, I remember the day I learned long division.

• 26:37Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:37Brooke Averick?

  And I just remember her, Ms. Raina, writing that sign, that

• 26:43Brooke Averick?

  design. What is that called? Symbol on the board and me just thinking, no. No. Yeah. It's like, and I just remember like, this is not.

• 26:54Connor Wood?

  This is the end.

• 26:55Brooke Averick?

  This is, this is where I tap out.

• 26:58Connor Wood?

  No, I mean.

• 26:59Brooke Averick?

  And then it created a mental block, right? The second I saw that sign, it created a mental block in my head so severe that I, to this day, I've never learned long division.

• 27:08Connor Wood?

  You had to have learned.

• 27:09Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I ever learned long division. I'm not kidding. I think it was a wash.

• 27:13Connor Wood?

  They would like, hold people back. Whatever happened to holding people back? I don't think we're doing it enough current day. Did they do away with that?

• 27:21Brooke Averick?

  Definitely stopped in high school. And middle school.

• 27:23Connor Wood?

  Oh, people should be held back pretty much indefinitely.

• 27:26Brooke Averick?

  People were really only held back like first grade latest, I remember.

• 27:30Connor Wood?

  We should be held back in, in adult life.

• 27:34Connor Wood?

  Hold up.

• 27:34Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 27:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 27:37Brooke Averick?

  What does that look like to you?

• 27:39Connor Wood?

  I'm thinking.

• 27:41Brooke Averick?

  To me, it's like, I'm

• 27:42Connor Wood?

  Maybe, maybe.

• 27:43Brooke Averick?

  Like, if I'm mentally 24, then I should still be on my parents' health insurance, even though my body is 29.

• 27:50Connor Wood?

  What is the test for that?

• 27:53Brooke Averick?

  Long division, etc.

• 27:57Connor Wood?

  If I can solve this long division problem, then I get to be back on my parents' insurance. Thank you.

• 28:02Brooke Averick?

  I would love to know our mental age.

• 28:04Connor Wood?

  Letter to the, your congressman? I promise you, I'm not X years old. I'm more 24.

• 28:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, why are we going based off of our physical age? When mental is just-

• 28:17Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. Who, oh my gosh, who cares about how long my, my, my metas has been around? What about my brain? Like where I'm at mentally?

• 28:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:26Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah, you're right. So, holding back, maybe they put us, um, oh my gosh, we're talking about segregation again?

• 28:36Brooke Averick?

  No, this, you know, remember the SpongeBob lost episode?

• 28:40Connor Wood?

  No.

• 28:41Brooke Averick?

  There was a lost episode and he spent an episode with Patchy the Pirate trying to find the lost episode?

• 28:46Connor Wood?

  When Patchy was seen, you check, you lost me.

• 28:49Brooke Averick?

  Patchy pissed me off. Listen, Patchy pissed me off.

• 28:51Connor Wood?

  Patchy must have been an EPO baby or like, was like fucking a studio exec. Patchy, where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from?

• 28:59Connor Wood?

  Cut night, Joe.

• 28:59Brooke Averick?

  You know, it's like, it was similar to when-

• 29:02Connor Wood?

  Patchy was disgusting.

• 29:03Brooke Averick?

  When sitcoms do like flashback episodes.

• 29:05Connor Wood?

  Patchy's apartment is-

• 29:06Brooke Averick?

  Now you're being ableist.

• 29:09Brooke Averick?

  Patchy is completely a peg leg and completely a hook for a hand.

• 29:13Connor Wood?

  I wasn't talking about all his missing-

• 29:15Brooke Averick?

  You just said Patchy the Pirate is disgusting.

• 29:17Connor Wood?

  I forgot he was an amputee. It has nothing to do with that.

• 29:22Brooke Averick?

  Well, as I was saying, this episode needs to be like the lost episode of SpongeBob. Like, it just needs to be lost.

• 29:29Connor Wood?

  Oh, this should have been the last episode.

• 29:31Brooke Averick?

  Yes. Wait, why did Patchy live in?

• 29:36Brooke Averick?

  Like, he lived on top of the sea?

• 29:38Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah, he's-

• 29:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. That's his bedroom?

• 29:42Connor Wood?

  Oh, Patchy's might have been like on the Epstein list. Look at his bedroom. He's-

• 29:47Brooke Averick?

  Patchy the Pirate was on the Epstein-

• 29:51Connor Wood?

  He was sailing the ship.

• 29:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, why do you have a bunch of children's blankets?

• 29:57Brooke Averick?

  I just thought about walking in on, um,

• 30:01Brooke Averick?

  we, you know, those like, older guys who like came to your school for like-

• 30:09Brooke Averick?

  So like Nature Jack.

• 30:12Brooke Averick?

  Talk about Nature Jack. He like came to the school with like lizards and stuff.

• 30:16Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 30:19Brooke Averick?

  And like different pieces of nature and he would like show the kids like, hi, I'm Nature Jack and like show them. Anyway, I walked in on Nature Jack in the bathroom. He was just like going to the bathroom, but like he didn't lock the door. I was a teacher.

• 30:35Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 30:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it was in the staff bathroom. I walked in on Nature Jack. I was just thinking about that.

• 30:42Connor Wood?

  What'd you say?

• 30:43Brooke Averick?

  Ha!

• 30:44Connor Wood?

  Jack!

• 30:46Brooke Averick?

  I called him Nature Jack.

• 30:47Connor Wood?

  When nature calls, Jack. Was it?

• 30:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Sorry. I don't know why. I don't know.

• 30:54Connor Wood?

  No, that's funny. I always thought it was funny because during we had pep rallies. And during these pep rallies, they'd be like, jump rope. Extreme jump rope, double dutch, double dutch, Nature Jack over here. I got a boa constrictor. I got a lizard. Now, do you want to do drugs, kids? I'm like, yeah, I wish I would have taken Molly before this. This is absurd. I'm watching the people on bikes doing wheelies. Yeah, I want to do drugs. They're all on drugs. You think Nature Jack was playing with his lizards all sober? Probably not. He's probably high. He's probably where we are now.

• 31:25Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 31:26Connor Wood?

  Did you sign that?

• 31:27Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 31:27Connor Wood?

  Poster?

• 31:29Brooke Averick?

  That I would never do drugs or drink? Of course.

• 31:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:32Brooke Averick?

  Connor, truly, like when they were doing their presentations and like talking about marijuana. I was like, that is like hell incarnate and there is no difference to me between marijuana and methamphetamines.

• 31:45Connor Wood?

  The gateway drug.

• 31:47Brooke Averick?

  Like, yeah, it's like if I could see myself now, I'd be sick. I would think like that person needs like to be locked up. And to get help.

• 31:58Connor Wood?

  That person should be held back.

• 32:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. A hundred percent. It's a good song.

• 32:05Connor Wood?

  My fat ass sweating dude to see.

• 32:06Brooke Averick?

  Of the AMC.

• 32:07Connor Wood?

  I that should be tattooed on my body for like my Kelly Clarkson.

• 32:11Brooke Averick?

  Do you think you'll get another tattoo ever?

• 32:12Connor Wood?

  Mm hmm.

• 32:14Brooke Averick?

  I think I'm gonna get all of mine removed. I'm annoyed I didn't just do them all at the same time.

• 32:18Connor Wood?

  I wish I had like an old picture of like someone, someone in my family that I could get tattooed on me in like a, like a classy way and not like huge on my back.

• 32:27Brooke Averick?

  That's so interesting.

• 32:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 32:28Brooke Averick?

  Like fine line?

• 32:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but like if it was like from a distance.

• 32:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, like their silhouette?

• 32:34Connor Wood?

  Like, like I would not get this, but like my dad is like a toddler with a balloon like that'd be cute. I that's.

• 32:40Brooke Averick?

  Would you get your dad is a toddler tattoo on you?

• 32:43Connor Wood?

  Like.

• 32:47Connor Wood?

  Bad example like. No, I guess because I'd be like, is that your son? I mean, no, it's my dad like. And he's totally alive.

• 32:55Brooke Averick?

  So interesting.

• 32:56Connor Wood?

  I was just a bad example. Let me take my horse sized vitamins really quick.

• 33:01Brooke Averick?

  Pills.

• 33:01Connor Wood?

  I've tried to take them all at once and Izzy saw me. I threw up into my hand.

• 33:07Brooke Averick?

  My brother can take like 15 pills at once.

• 33:10Connor Wood?

  No, I used to be able to. I put them in my mouth, bro. I go. And he go. Right in and Izzy was looking, making eye contact with me when I. When I.

• 33:21Brooke Averick?

  You threw up?

• 33:21Connor Wood?

  When I. Pud.

• 33:25Connor Wood?

  Okay, so I have to take them one by one. They're so dry.

• 33:27Brooke Averick?

  Really nervous that someone's trying to call me.

• 33:33Connor Wood?

  What?

• 33:36Connor Wood?

  Are they?

• 33:36Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 33:38Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 33:40Brooke Averick?

  Not at all.

• 33:42Connor Wood?

  Oh shit.

• 33:43Brooke Averick?

  But I just got like a feeling that like something's like amiss, like someone's like trying to reach me. Now I'm scared. Everything's okay. Everything is awesome.

• 33:53Connor Wood?

  Oh, the doctor was calling to tell me that all of my moles that I got removed are benign.

• 34:00Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's so nice.

• 34:01Connor Wood?

  I was going to sleep every night like. Moles getting bigger, like tomorrow's your last day. I really truly was convinced.

• 34:10Connor Wood?

  You know, you don't have to be totally naked to get the mole removed. If it's on your back.

• 34:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you took your, well, were you not wearing panties in the first place?

• 34:18Connor Wood?

  Did I not show you this? I was gonna do like a funny-

• 34:21Brooke Averick?

  You should also wear panties to the doctor.

• 34:23Connor Wood?

  I was wearing underwear.

• 34:24Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 34:25Connor Wood?

  I elected to remove them in case she needed to check my butt or something. Alright, hang on.

• 34:34Connor Wood?

  What was I showing you?

• 34:35Brooke Averick?

  Something from the doctor.

• 34:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I need to show you this, because I thought it was funny. Um, so I was at the doctor and I was gonna make like a funny video for my friends. And then I'm

• 34:45Connor Wood?

  butt to the camera, cheeks out, and she comes in and I had to like flip around, I had my, I put my hands up like she was gonna- Okay, hang on. If I could figure out the camera like app, I would have already shown you, by the way, but-

• 35:04Connor Wood?

  Do do do. It's nice to revisit all of my memories on my way to find one specific video from less than two weeks ago.

• 35:12Brooke Averick?

  I took my laptop to the Genius Bar, because I broke it.

• 35:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 35:18Brooke Averick?

  And they were acting like really serious, like it was like a hospital. And they were like, uh, it does seem like your laptop is in critical condition. And we need to keep it overnight, two nights for the, to get the diagnosis and then we'll call you once we have the prognosis. And I was like, this, this feels like a doctor's show for my laptop.

• 35:41Connor Wood?

  Should I just? What, what was the issue?

• 35:45Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I spilled a bottle, a water bottle on it in my bag, but it actually was fine. Like it was working fine, it just didn't charge. So when it died, it died. And so I just needed to get that thing replaced, which, and it wasn't that expensive. It was amazing. I was really happy with the outcome.

• 36:00Connor Wood?

  That's amazing.

• 36:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I was really impressed. I need the whiteboard if you don't mind. What are you doing?

• 36:06Connor Wood?

  I'm trying to find the video of me at the doctor, but go figure, it absolutely isn't in my role. Oh, found it. It's because of my butt, okay.

• 36:19Brooke Averick?

  You could just, you know, you could just look up butt.

• 36:25Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I did see that, but I didn't hear the knock.

• 36:28Connor Wood?

  I can't show, well, I guess I can. Nah, it's all send it in. I'll submit.

• 36:33Brooke Averick?

  You want it? Are you gonna show everyone your butt?

• 36:36Connor Wood?

  No, I'm gonna blur.

• 36:37Brooke Averick?

  Would you do full nudity in a movie?

• 36:39Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 36:40Brooke Averick?

  Full frontal?

• 36:40Connor Wood?

  Are you kidding me? Yes.

• 36:42Brooke Averick?

  You would?

• 36:42Connor Wood?

  Love to.

• 36:43Brooke Averick?

  Love to.

• 36:44Connor Wood?

  I'll do full frontal on the podcast.

• 36:46Brooke Averick?

  Cool.

• 36:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I don't think I have, I would have a problem with it.

• 36:51Connor Wood?

  No.

• 36:52Brooke Averick?

  Well, I would just in terms of like, I don't want my body on TV. Well, I guess I would if I don't want my body on TV.

• 36:58Connor Wood?

  What?

• 37:00Brooke Averick?

  I actually, hmm. I would be fine with having like my privates out.

• 37:05Connor Wood?

  Real.

• 37:06Brooke Averick?

  I'd be fine. No, you would have to be real, I'm saying, to you.

• 37:10Connor Wood?

  Put like your.

• 37:11Brooke Averick?

  I'm saying it would be.

• 37:12Connor Wood?

  Your cooter in a movie, they don't.

• 37:14Brooke Averick?

  They put Jennifer Lawrence's cooter in a movie.

• 37:16Connor Wood?

  Did they?

• 37:17Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and No Hard Feelings. Remember she was like, had that fight scene on the beach?

• 37:21Connor Wood?

  There's no way that's her.

• 37:22Brooke Averick?

  Yes, that was her genuine body, her cooter and boobs.

• 37:25Connor Wood?

  No, they.

• 37:26Brooke Averick?

  Yes. No, I swear to God.

• 37:28Connor Wood?

  She got a fake cooter implant.

• 37:28Brooke Averick?

  No. No, she did not.

• 37:30Connor Wood?

  I promise.

• 37:31Brooke Averick?

  That is her real one.

• 37:32Connor Wood?

  She got a cooter piece.

• 37:33Brooke Averick?

  No, that's her full.

• 37:34Connor Wood?

  You're talking about Dayla's cooter piece?

• 37:36Brooke Averick?

  Yes, that's her real.

• 37:37Connor Wood?

  Trust me?

• 37:37Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 37:38Connor Wood?

  That's not what it looks like.

• 37:38Brooke Averick?

  Try and trust me on this. That is her Jennifer.

• 37:41Connor Wood?

  Jump into my cooter for a second.

• 37:42Brooke Averick?

  Yes, Jennifer Lawrence was actually naked for the infamous beachy.

• 37:56Speaker 00

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• 38:26Speaker 01

  When you think like an athlete, setbacks don't stop you. But mindset alone doesn't get you moving again. That's where Icy Hot steps in. Ice works fast. Heat makes it last.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  So when the rest of the world settles because of a setback, Icy Hot accelerates your comeback with fast-acting, powerful pain relief. Icy Hot, you're so back.

• 38:55Speaker 07

  Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 38:57Speaker 08

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from Star.

• 39:00Speaker 07

  Film for IMAX.

• 39:02Speaker 08

  Make them remember you.

• 39:04Speaker 07

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Leaping, November 20th, rated PG-13.

• 39:10Brooke Averick?

  Told you. You did not use the body dump. I can see it before the scene.

• 39:18Brooke Averick?

  I, what I'm trying to say is I, in a scene like that, I'm fine having my cooter and boobs out, but I don't want my stomach out.

• 39:27Brooke Averick?

  I would do like a crop top just around my stomach with the privates shooting out of there.

• 39:31Connor Wood?

  You could do, and I have a story after this, you could do like, okay, say your tube top rolled down and then rolled up, which doesn't happen with skims.

• 39:39Brooke Averick?

  Exactly. Even if you washed them 100 times since birth.

• 39:43Connor Wood?

  Even if you were born in a river, in a little tent.

• 39:48Brooke Averick?

  I would do like a fake pregnant stomach, naked.

• 39:51Connor Wood?

  Sure, me too. Now, I was in Mexico long, long ago. I don't remember anything about this trip, but my one wish as a young man, I now know better, obviously. But I wanted to swim with the dolphins. So we go and we swim with the, and you're doing that thing where you, they push on your feet and you go up and you take it, and there's a picture they take. Dolphins are fucking huge and scary, by the way. They're the size of jetta's. And I, they swim underneath you and they come, they're so smart. They pick, they get, pick your feet up and they go, this poor woman, girl. Woman, probably. There's no way. I don't know. I don't remember. There's like a memory. I don't know. She gets pushed up by the dolphins.

• 40:33Connor Wood?

  Bathing suit here. Bathing suit here. So her picture's taken and it puts it up on the screen for the whole lobby.

• 40:41Connor Wood?

  Boobs out, like it's like full frontal. And then, get this.

• 40:46Connor Wood?

  She ju- she like goes to jump off because she's like, my rack is showing. And she flies off and the water catches her bathing suit on the way down. Coot her out.

• 40:58Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 40:58Connor Wood?

  And bathing suit around her, she fell forward, it's around her ankle, launched into the rocks. She's pussy out on the rocks.

• 41:06Brooke Averick?

  That sucks.

• 41:09Connor Wood?

  Just crazy.

• 41:10Brooke Averick?

  That genuinely sucks.

• 41:11Connor Wood?

  And?

• 41:12Brooke Averick?

  I like that for a scene in a Booker movie.

• 41:15Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh.

• 41:16Brooke Averick?

  We should be writing or talking more about what the waves can do to one's suit.

• 41:21Connor Wood?

  When you, maybe you do a book about a woman that falls in love with a wave. When you succumb to the wave.

• 41:28Brooke Averick?

  I think I'm gonna, I do think I'm gonna stick to more traditional romance.

• 41:32Connor Wood?

  Hmm. So you're gonna kinda say?

• 41:34Brooke Averick?

  Just like, human on human.

• 41:35Connor Wood?

  Not, not as much monster bait type.

• 41:37Brooke Averick?

  Not as much monster bait or sea bait. But you can write it.

• 41:48Connor Wood?

  La Booboo.

• 41:49Brooke Averick?

  I want you to feel like Pazuzu.

• 41:53Brooke Averick?

  Wait, people from the main don't even know Pazuzu.

• 41:55Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh.

• 41:56Brooke Averick?

  Is that not insane?

• 41:57Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, if you, if you care at all, we talked about Pazuzu last week.

• 42:02Brooke Averick?

  In the bonus, the bonus from a few weeks ago, I think, is it called Pazuzu's Girl or Me, You and Pazuzu?

• 42:09Speaker 06

  It's something Pazuzu.

• 42:09Brooke Averick?

  You, me and Pazuzu. We did a really big deep dive into the tether of a La Booboo. So his counterpart, Pazuzu. Who was used in Mesopotamian lore as the god of the wind.

• 42:25Connor Wood?

  And plague.

• 42:26Brooke Averick?

  And plague. And he had a monster bait romance wrapped around his leg.

• 42:32Connor Wood?

  Oh, no, no, he had a huge cock.

• 42:34Brooke Averick?

  Snake wrapped around.

• 42:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah. He had a boner in this thing.

• 42:38Brooke Averick?

  He had a little bit of a lot going on.

• 42:40Connor Wood?

  I would just look.

• 42:40Brooke Averick?

  He had a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

• 42:42Connor Wood?

  What was that?

• 42:44Brooke Averick?

  That? No.

• 42:47Connor Wood?

  That's-

• 42:47Brooke Averick?

  Wait, there's a Pazuzu in The Exorcist?

• 42:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I mean, he's the demon of God and more of plague-

• 42:53Brooke Averick?

  Pazuzu is the main antagonist and demon of The Exorcist horror novel, excuse me?

• 42:58Connor Wood?

  And, oh my gosh.

• 43:00Brooke Averick?

  Blatty derived the character, uh, from Astran and Babylonian mythology, where Pazuzu was considered the king of demons of the wind. And the son of, we can't remember anything that we can remember exactly Pazuzu's job title.

• 43:13Connor Wood?

  Astran about Pazuzu.

• 43:15Brooke Averick?

  Um, that is nuts that Pazuzu is the demon in The Exorcist.

• 43:19Connor Wood?

  So-

• 43:20Brooke Averick?

  He's a lot more famous than we had anticipated.

• 43:22Connor Wood?

  He has an IMDb.

• 43:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Connor Wood?

  Okay, it has the body of, oh, it. Well, it ha- okay, it has the body of a man, the head of a lion or dog, eagle-like talons, feet, two pairs of wings, a scorpion's tail, and a serpentine penis.

• 43:35Brooke Averick?

  But did The Exorcist demon have all those things?

• 43:38Connor Wood?

  His aliases are, wait, can you show up a small bit?

• 43:41Brooke Averick?

  You're talking about the aliases?

• 43:42Connor Wood?

  The aliases. Captain Howdy.

• 43:47Brooke Averick?

  The salesman.

• 43:50Connor Wood?

  I'm Pazuzu, the demon of plague and wind.

• 43:53Brooke Averick?

  The salesman.

• 43:53Connor Wood?

  Also known as, like-

• 43:55Brooke Averick?

  Okay, so odd colors, red, but green and yellow when possessing.

• 44:00Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 44:00Brooke Averick?

  Appears in The Exorcist, The Exorcist 2, Heretic, The Exorcist 3, Dominion, prequel to The Exorcist.

• 44:06Connor Wood?

  Talking about Heretic?

• 44:07Brooke Averick?

  The Exorcist, the beginning, Exorcist TV's Pazooz is-

• 44:11Connor Wood?

  Famous!

• 44:12Brooke Averick?

  Like, whoa.

• 44:14Connor Wood?

  Tony Wynn, wait. What's, EGOT Wynn?

• 44:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 44:18Connor Wood?

  I wonder who plays-

• 44:18Brooke Averick?

  I was thinking we put Pazuzu on the map. When Pazuzu's been on every corner-

• 44:24Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 44:24Brooke Averick?

  -of the map this whole time.

• 44:25Connor Wood?

  Can we, who plays Pazooz? Eileen? Deets?

• 44:31Brooke Averick?

  Pazuzu is a, is a non-binary demon.

• 44:34Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 44:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, no, I was gonna say with a huge piece, but that doesn't matter. Can identify anyway.

• 44:39Connor Wood?

  It's a serpentine too, I really believe it's its own thing. Oh, Pazooz is definitely-

• 44:43Brooke Averick?

  Wait, is that in The Exorcist?

• 44:45Connor Wood?

  I'm seeing Eileen in the Pazooz.

• 44:48Brooke Averick?

  A hundred percent. Wow.

• 44:53Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 44:54Brooke Averick?

  So, it's a person.

• 44:59Connor Wood?

  She gone?

• 45:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's just Pizzicino now.

• 45:02Connor Wood?

  Jesus, Eileen. Oh. I can't stop watching This is 40. I bought it. $14.99 I purchased it.

• 45:10Brooke Averick?

  What's your favorite scene?

• 45:12Connor Wood?

  Hmm, well, my favorite scene is with Melissa McCarthy when they're in the principal's office.

• 45:16Brooke Averick?

  Have you seen the blippers for that?

• 45:17Connor Wood?

  It's, I could, I could quote it.

• 45:19Brooke Averick?

  Let's watch in the bonus.

• 45:20Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna jump up and jackknife you two in the, in the, in the neck, slow blinking eyes. You won't.

• 45:26Connor Wood?

  You know what? I'm gonna start drinking soon. I'm gonna slit their neck like two fish and drink their blood. Slow blink. You won't blink. I'll cut your eyelids off. You won't slow blink at me now, will ya? So good.

• 45:37Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 45:38Connor Wood?

  And she goes,

• 45:40Connor Wood?

  "Oh, really, Kim? Really? Oh, fuck you, Kim. Suck a big fucking dick, Kim. I'm glad your husband died. He probably killed himself. I would have killed myself. It's just so good."

• 45:50Brooke Averick?

  Good job. I remember that.

• 45:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Yeah, I love that scene.

• 45:54Brooke Averick?

  Melissa McCarthy, where is she?

• 45:56Connor Wood?

  She's really like in it. I'm talking about in it.

• 46:01Brooke Averick?

  You're talking about in it?

• 46:02Connor Wood?

  I'm talking, I'm kind of.

• 46:03Brooke Averick?

  What's the last thing she did besides Nine Perfect Strangers?

• 46:06Connor Wood?

  Like The Heat or something?

• 46:08Brooke Averick?

  No, that was like, why is she not, like, where are you? I was, what?

• 46:11Connor Wood?

  I'm so sorry. Oh, she did Unfrosted. Jerry Seinfeld's Pop-Tart origin story.

• 46:17Brooke Averick?

  The Little Mermaid. Yeah, she really, oh, she's come, she's in Only Murders. We need another, like, Melissa McCarthy comedy, like, now. That could heal.

• 46:26Connor Wood?

  You know what sucks? And I'm just gonna say something really, really just like, you know, I call it like I see it.

• 46:31Brooke Averick?

  Like iconic?

• 46:33Connor Wood?

  No, I just now think that like, when you get to a level, level of celeberte, that you start 3D printing movies instead of making them good.

• 46:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but she's not doing anything. Well. No, and I'm not, I don't mean she's not doing anything. She is doing something. But like, she's not doing 3D printing or another movie that I know.

• 46:56Connor Wood?

  You know, when people get like really famous and then all the movies they come out with, it's like, is this a YouTube video?

• 47:01Brooke Averick?

  Like Glenn Powell?

• 47:02Connor Wood?

  I didn't say that.

• 47:03Brooke Averick?

  But that's what you're talking about?

• 47:04Connor Wood?

  No. No, I'm talking about like

• 47:08Brooke Averick?

  Let's play 36 questions to fall in love.

• 47:11Connor Wood?

  No offense, Happy Gilmore 2 is probably like, needs to be removed from... Okay, oh my gosh, okay, so Happy Thanksgiving, what is it? Valentine's Day.

• 47:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Connor Wood?

  Happy Valentine's Day. I hope everyone was in love over the weekend and cuddled and kissed and...

• 47:30Brooke Averick?

  It was awesome.

• 47:31Connor Wood?

  It was great. Happy for everyone. Okay, so we're gonna play 36 questions to fall in love. I'm gonna ask the first one. Oh, do you want to ask the first one?

• 47:39Brooke Averick?

  You ask the first one, or I can ask, whatever.

• 47:41Connor Wood?

  Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Wait, is this for both of us?

• 47:48Brooke Averick?

  We just talked about this.

• 47:50Connor Wood?

  It's one person, though.

• 47:51Brooke Averick?

  I do think it will be Freddie Mercury right now.

• 47:53Connor Wood?

  Jennifer Lawrence.

• 47:55Brooke Averick?

  I always forget they can be alive.

• 47:56Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:57Brooke Averick?

  I will do Jonathan Groff.

• 47:59Connor Wood?

  Would you like to be famous? In what way?

• 48:03Brooke Averick?

  I would want to be like an author.

• 48:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Cool. Famous author?

• 48:09Brooke Averick?

  It's hard. I would want like my books to be famous. And I would only want to be like a little bit famous.

• 48:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 48:16Brooke Averick?

  Like Emily Henry is perfect to me.

• 48:19Connor Wood?

  I would want to be famous, but not in like a, oh, he fell off way. Just in like, when I go places, people care. But not in like a, you're everywhere type of...

• 48:33Brooke Averick?

  What do you want to be known for?

• 48:34Connor Wood?

  Don't care. Statues, I don't know.

• 48:37Brooke Averick?

  Okay. No, like comedy, acting?

• 48:39Connor Wood?

  Oh, comedy, acting.

• 48:40Brooke Averick?

  No, both of those?

• 48:41Connor Wood?

  Both of those.

• 48:42Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 48:44Connor Wood?

  Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you're gonna say? Why?

• 48:47Brooke Averick?

  I usually write it down.

• 48:48Connor Wood?

  What?

• 48:49Brooke Averick?

  If it's like, uh, an appointment, or I'm calling the pharmacy for a refill on my medications.

• 48:59Brooke Averick?

  Or something that needs to be rehearsed, I will write it down. But not for like conversations with my friends.

• 49:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 49:07Connor Wood?

  I should write things down, because I'll call someone and have an hour conversation, and be like, oh my god, I called them to...

• 49:13Connor Wood?

  Um, no, I don't practice, but I also, it's not my best work. Sometimes I, if I have a call with someone and I hang up and I'm like, they don't know that I'm cool. I didn't nail, they don't know that I'm like, I'm normal. I'm like, people like me.

• 49:28Brooke Averick?

  Like for an interview?

• 49:29Connor Wood?

  No, just like when I'm on the phone making an appointment.

• 49:32Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 49:34Connor Wood?

  I'm like, when I get in there to reception desk, I want to put on a clinic. What would you constitute for a perfect day for you?

• 49:40Brooke Averick?

  This is a good question.

• 49:42Connor Wood?

  And it's an honest question.

• 49:45Brooke Averick?

  Sleep in a little bit, cuddle with the cats, play my word games.

• 49:52Brooke Averick?

  Um, uh, do I have to live in this world? Like, can I go out? Can I walk to the beach?

• 49:59Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 49:59Brooke Averick?

  But I don't live at the beach.

• 50:01Connor Wood?

  Cause it's a perfect day.

• 50:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Then I walk to the beach and read for a little bit and someone brings me a turkey hoagie.

• 50:09Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 50:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. You could say that again.

• 50:11Connor Wood?

  That sounds really good.

• 50:12Brooke Averick?

  Then I go home, take a very crispy shower. I have tons of new freckles on my nose, on the bridge of my nose. And then I go to sushi fumi, come home.

• 50:23Connor Wood?

  Why doesn't sushi fumi come to you? You want to drive to sushi?

• 50:25Brooke Averick?

  I love going to sushi fumi.

• 50:27Connor Wood?

  Where do you park?

• 50:28Brooke Averick?

  It's not, it's not bad on La Cienega most of the time.

• 50:31Connor Wood?

  La Cienega is.

• 50:32Brooke Averick?

  There's that open strip on La Cienega, but if not, you can post on a side street.

• 50:36Connor Wood?

  Okay. Wait, I need to write something down so I don't forget to do it.

• 50:38Brooke Averick?

  And post. And then I'm eating sushi fumi, crispy rice, salmon nigiri, moon roll, blue crab hand roll, shrimp tempura roll, cut if I'm very hungry, extra salmon if I'm hungry. Then go home, get a little bit high. My friends come over, we watch a movie, my cats are on the couch. I fall asleep on the couch. I wake up, my friends have fallen asleep too, and we're all alone, but together.

• 51:06Connor Wood?

  Have you thought about this?

• 51:07Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 51:07Connor Wood?

  Mine is Dave Bautista shows up.

• 51:11Connor Wood?

  I get on his shoulders.

• 51:12Brooke Averick?

  Write that down.

• 51:12Connor Wood?

  No.

• 51:13Brooke Averick?

  I know, that's what you were writing.

• 51:14Connor Wood?

  Dave Bautista shows up at my house. I immediately get on his shoulders. He, he gallops like a, like how you would a horse. He's not on all fours. He's just two.

• 51:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Connor Wood?

  I mean, he's moving as fast as a car. He's built like a house.

• 51:29Connor Wood?

  That's it.

• 51:30Brooke Averick?

  That sounds fun, too. But genuinely, what is your perfect?

• 51:34Connor Wood?

  Genuinely, wake up, walk to coffee. And everyone's up. So like, it's like a great, we have the coffee. Sit somewhere, but guess what?

• 51:44Brooke Averick?

  Where are you?

• 51:44Connor Wood?

  I don't know. Somewhere not my house. Unless people are staying with me and we're gonna do something that weekend. That is fun. What sucks about me is as soon as a weekend comes that I'm looking forward to and everyone's having fun, I'm immediately like, tic, toc, tic, toc. You're at the beginning of the weekend that's gonna end pretty soon.

• 52:05Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, I hate that.

• 52:06Connor Wood?

  That's where my brain goes. What, enjoy a part of it? I can't.

• 52:11Brooke Averick?

  I, I, I struggle with that, too.

• 52:15Connor Wood?

  Anyways, perfect day. Um, we walk, we get coffee. But there's things to do. We have an activity planned for the day. We all pack up and do a car. We've packed at lunch, we do a hike. And the hike is to something, like a waterfall or a lake. And then, head home. And then, we go to the beach to lounge. Beach to pool. So you've now gone beach to pool on me, on my fat ass. We sit there, pool, there is an attendant at the pool. They're gonna ask, what do you want? I'm gonna go, ice cold beer in a plastic cup for me.

• 52:52Brooke Averick?

  How about Turkey Club, too?

• 52:53Connor Wood?

  Hang on, right in there you go.

• 52:54Brooke Averick?

  You can get there?

• 52:54Connor Wood?

  No, there's a place I went to one time. In Hawaii. And it had sushi and pizza, and they just served sushi and pizza. And it was poolside. Cause I'm not like-

• 53:04Brooke Averick?

  Poolside sushi and pizza?

• 53:05Connor Wood?

  As good as it is, and if it's available to me, yeah, I'll have it. I'm not like a huge chicken strips guy, like, they're not really, yeah, like, they're good, I like them, but I'm not like-

• 53:14Brooke Averick?

  Like, are you talking about like chicken fingers?

• 53:16Connor Wood?

  Chicken strips, like, by the pool, everyone, I feel like by the pool-

• 53:18Brooke Averick?

  I've never heard them called chicken strips.

• 53:21Connor Wood?

  What do you call them?

• 53:21Brooke Averick?

  Chicken tenders or chicken fingers?

• 53:23Connor Wood?

  Tenders.

• 53:23Brooke Averick?

  I don't call them tenders. I call, I'm from, in Philly, we say fingers. Chicken fingers, but I feel like typically they call them chicken tenders. And you're thinking about chicken nuggets.

• 53:33Connor Wood?

  No, I'm not. Chicken strips.

• 53:34Brooke Averick?

  No, you just said little. I said those are chicken nuggets.

• 53:37Connor Wood?

  What'd you call them? Chicken fingers?

• 53:39Brooke Averick?

  Are you thinking of chicken katsu?

• 53:40Connor Wood?

  I promise you, I'm thinking of chicken strips. That's the way I was raised.

• 53:46Brooke Averick?

  Never heard that. Okay.

• 53:47Connor Wood?

  Chicken strips?

• 53:48Brooke Averick?

  I mean, unless you're talking about chicken katsu.

• 53:51Connor Wood?

  No.

• 53:53Brooke Averick?

  Which is like-

• 53:53Connor Wood?

  Why would I ever be talking about chicken katsu? But you're so fucking for real.

• 53:58Brooke Averick?

  That's a strip. That is shaped like a strip.

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah, this way. Chicken strips are long.

• 54:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so is chicken katsu.

• 54:05Connor Wood?

  God damn. I don't- you're right, too. I mean, but I wouldn't-

• 54:08Brooke Averick?

  That, to me, is the only thing that could be a chicken strip.

• 54:12Connor Wood?

  Chicken katsu.

• 54:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's probably right. I don't- yeah. Sorry, I'm from Philly.

• 54:17Connor Wood?

  It's okay. I never apologize for being from Philly.

• 54:21Connor Wood?

  We are Philly strong.

• 54:22Brooke Averick?

  Thanks.

• 54:25Connor Wood?

  Anyways, I'm not done with my day. I get a beer and then I do the same thing. I go up. I'm a little- My skin feels a little like it's tight on my body, you know? It feels- my skin feels tight. I take a- Actually, you know what? You know what's crazy about me? If I go swimming at the beach in the saltwater, unless it's Santa Monica, which I do swim in, so I don't know why I scowl like that. I'm just saying I shower after I get in the beach in Santa Monica. I've- I've been hearing recently that it's pretty gross, even though I open my mouth and I jump and my eyes open and stuff.

• 55:00Connor Wood?

  I don't usually shower if I go in the ocean.

• 55:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 55:03Connor Wood?

  In Kauai or like a Mexico.

• 55:05Brooke Averick?

  That's nuts to me because I have the ugliest pool and ocean hair.

• 55:10Connor Wood?

  Oh, I look so-

• 55:11Brooke Averick?

  You look so- yeah.

• 55:11Connor Wood?

  Ocean hair. That's why I jar it up.

• 55:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I know.

• 55:13Connor Wood?

  I put on a nice Hawaiian shirt and some linen pants.

• 55:17Brooke Averick?

  Are you wearing underwear?

• 55:18Connor Wood?

  Nope. And they're a little seether if they get wet. Deal with it.

• 55:22Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 55:24Connor Wood?

  You think I asked for this?

• 55:30Connor Wood?

  We get a- we get a reservation. We go to dinner. Light dinner, heavy drinks. Karaoke time. Make some friends.

• 55:40Connor Wood?

  Take it a little too far. Ask to leave. Uber home.

• 55:45Brooke Averick?

  You get asked to leave or you are asked?

• 55:47Connor Wood?

  Someone in my party's asked to leave, not me.

• 55:48Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 55:49Connor Wood?

  Even though I was pushing it.

• 55:50Brooke Averick?

  You wanted to go?

• 55:53Connor Wood?

  To karaoke?

• 55:55Brooke Averick?

  No, to leave it.

• 55:56Connor Wood?

  To leave the karaoke?

• 55:58Brooke Averick?

  Are you, I thought you just left karaoke.

• 56:01Connor Wood?

  No, not yet.

• 56:02Brooke Averick?

  You just got there?

• 56:02Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, we're leaving now.

• 56:03Brooke Averick?

  That's what I thought. You wanted to go? Or someone else wanted to go? You just said you were pushing to leave.

• 56:09Connor Wood?

  No, I was pushing it about to get kicked out.

• 56:12Brooke Averick?

  Pushing it to the limit? You're pushing the limits?

• 56:14Connor Wood?

  With my, with my karaoke songs, I'm begging the DJ, like, play my next.

• 56:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 56:18Connor Wood?

  I promise, this is not what the people want. You know, they want no air. Trust me, I've been doing it for years. They want no air. The people who don't want, don't stop believing, trust me.

• 56:31Brooke Averick?

  Well, some people might want the glee version.

• 56:35Connor Wood?

  No, they don't.

• 56:36Brooke Averick?

  Some people might.

• 56:37Connor Wood?

  They want, they don't want Mr. Brightside either. I hate to break it to you.

• 56:40Brooke Averick?

  They don't, they don't.

• 56:40Connor Wood?

  They don't.

• 56:42Brooke Averick?

  Someone just did that.

• 56:44Connor Wood?

  What?

• 56:45Brooke Averick?

  Mr. Brightside for karaoke.

• 56:50Brooke Averick?

  I don't...

• 56:53Brooke Averick?

  This season of Love is Blind? I think. I'll tell you about it later. Did something happen?

• 56:59Connor Wood?

  Nothing should taste like that.

• 57:00Brooke Averick?

  What ta, what was it?

• 57:01Connor Wood?

  Like, I, do you wanna taste, you wanna lick of my?

• 57:04Brooke Averick?

  Wait, what did you just eat?

• 57:05Connor Wood?

  My vitamins.

• 57:06Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I know what those taste like. Horrible.

• 57:08Connor Wood?

  Put them in capsules.

• 57:09Brooke Averick?

  I just got a chill down my whole body.

• 57:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I think that was like a seizure.

• 57:16Brooke Averick?

  Wait, okay. You, you're done karaoke?

• 57:19Connor Wood?

  It's done, I'm going to bed.

• 57:21Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 57:22Connor Wood?

  When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? We don't have to do that one. I feel like it was...

• 57:25Brooke Averick?

  Like, it's just five seconds ago.

• 57:27Connor Wood?

  If you're able to live past the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which ones you want? I know my answer.

• 57:34Brooke Averick?

  I know mine.

• 57:36Connor Wood?

  Go ahead.

• 57:37Brooke Averick?

  Well, uh, that's hard. I, I obviously like mind, but it, like, that does suck.

• 57:45Brooke Averick?

  Because I am constantly worried about aging in my face. I have a gray hair, multiple of them.

• 57:52Connor Wood?

  No.

• 57:53Brooke Averick?

  Where? You're doing body?

• 57:56Connor Wood?

  Well, here's the thing.

• 57:59Connor Wood?

  The mind is great. A 30-year-old mind.

• 58:04Connor Wood?

  I don't really want that bad.

• 58:06Brooke Averick?

  But our careers rely on like-

• 58:07Connor Wood?

  I'd kind of like to be a 90-year-old that just like, I'd say and do whatever I want. Whatever I'm thinking, I don't filter anything. I'm like crazy. Nothing really bothers me. You know, there's not a, there's not a worry in the world to a, like a, like a healthy, well, 90-year-old, like, they're like a little bit spooky.

• 58:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I guess you're kind of right.

• 58:28Connor Wood?

  I would love to have like a hot, tight bod and like this kind of kooky brain. That's great.

• 58:32Brooke Averick?

  People, I was thinking about writing, but-

• 58:34Connor Wood?

  I don't want to forget anything.

• 58:35Brooke Averick?

  People still write into their very late years. So I'm fine with keeping the brain that I have. Oh yeah, I'll, I'll look 30. I'll have the body of a 30-year-old, but I'm gonna have to do some editing on my body. Before I reach the 30.

• 58:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I think I'm gonna, I, I was driving in, in West Hollywood the other day. They do a jowl removal, which I was looking into.

• 58:53Brooke Averick?

  Where?

• 58:53Connor Wood?

  Non-surgical. If you guys see me looking real-

• 58:57Brooke Averick?

  You know, they do non-surgical nose jobs.

• 58:59Connor Wood?

  How?

• 59:00Brooke Averick?

  Injections.

• 59:01Connor Wood?

  They just fatten it up, or what?

• 59:03Brooke Averick?

  I think they do.

• 59:05Connor Wood?

  Give me one of them fat nose.

• 59:07Brooke Averick?

  Where they just like make, yeah, like if you have a bump, it'll like fill in the

• 59:11Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 59:11Brooke Averick?

  empty space. So it looks like it's a straight line.

• 59:14Connor Wood?

  Do you have a secret hunch about how you'll die?

• 59:16Brooke Averick?

  No. I don't even want to think about that right now.

• 59:19Connor Wood?

  That's crazy. It could be any moment.

• 59:20Brooke Averick?

  Ah, let's move on.

• 59:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. What three things do we have in common?

• 59:29Connor Wood?

  Our racks.

• 59:32Brooke Averick?

  Hmm, I'm being Jen.

• 59:34Connor Wood?

  Um, okay. We are love for rom-coms. And sushi.

• 59:38Brooke Averick?

  Rob Thomas?

• 59:39Connor Wood?

  Rom-coms.

• 59:40Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Rob Thomas?

• 59:41Connor Wood?

  Well, I, I love Matchbox 20.

• 59:42Brooke Averick?

  I do too. Okay, Mad Fox 20, rom-coms and sushi. Hello.

• 59:48Connor Wood?

  Okay, my perfect day personified?

• 59:50Brooke Averick?

  I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.

• 59:54Connor Wood?

  Right now?

• 59:54Brooke Averick?

  My mouth is watering.

• 59:55Connor Wood?

  Right now, I don't know if you can tell.

• 59:57Brooke Averick?

  That is such a good song.

• 59:59Connor Wood?

  I listened to it yesterday.

• 1:00:00Brooke Averick?

  I think I did too. 3am is an amazing song.

• 1:00:04Connor Wood?

  It's 3am, I must be lonely.

• 1:00:07Brooke Averick?

  I have to show you something.

• 1:00:10Connor Wood?

  I thought you were gonna-

• 1:00:10Brooke Averick?

  Tokyo Disney, Tokyo Disney World, there is a vampire and Frankenstein and they're singing the most, like, out-of-pocket American songs. You know, when you see a t-shirt in a different language and it's just like, like, you'll be in, like, Paris and see a t-shirt in English that's like, that doesn't make any sense?

• 1:00:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Brooke Averick?

  This is what's happening in Tokyo. Like, you have Frankenstein, it's, like, spooky, it's thundering, like, and Frankenstein's singing Santana.

• 1:00:40Connor Wood?

  That's awesome to me.

• 1:00:41Brooke Averick?

  It's awesome, but it's, like, really, like, out of place. Like, Santana, like, I think they were going for something spooky and he's going, "It's just like the ocean under the moon." And, like, with, yeah. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:00:59Connor Wood?

  Well, I could see that being spooky. "It's just like the ocean under the moon."

• 1:01:05Brooke Averick?

  It's just like, imagine-

• 1:01:06Connor Wood?

  Okay. I just saw a person that's not there.

• 1:01:11Brooke Averick?

  Just now?

• 1:01:11Connor Wood?

  Fully blown, 100%. There was a person there and I was like, "Oh, I'm seeing the-"

• 1:01:18Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:01:20Connor Wood?

  Well, that's real crazy.

• 1:01:21Brooke Averick?

  I hate when that happens.

• 1:01:23Connor Wood?

  Take four, well, I don't want to do four minutes. If, if you could change anything about the way you were raised, is this the fallen, this is, like, really scary.

• 1:01:30Brooke Averick?

  We're getting deep.

• 1:01:32Connor Wood?

  Okay, let's see. What's the, okay, what's the most, okay. What's your most treasured memory?

• 1:01:40Connor Wood?

  Do you think?

• 1:01:42Brooke Averick?

  For whatever reason, when anyone asks me like, what was the best day of your life? I go back to the sixth grade Renaissance fair. I don't know why. It was just like that school field trip feeling of like, I feel like I'm like traveling abroad.

• 1:01:55Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 1:01:56Brooke Averick?

  I'm abroad with my friends right now. They had this like dragon egg that had a prize in it. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. This guy was swallowing swords. He called me up on the stage.

• 1:02:08Connor Wood?

  What did he do to you?

• 1:02:10Brooke Averick?

  He made me hold the swords. I was like, this is absolutely fricking incredible. These guys were jousting. I was like, this is just amazing. I tried to chai latte for the first time.

• 1:02:21Connor Wood?

  Fun.

• 1:02:22Brooke Averick?

  School bus back, it was a fricking movie. I mean, I had the best day.

• 1:02:28Brooke Averick?

  Then I wrote in my journal about it.

• 1:02:30Connor Wood?

  That's great.

• 1:02:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:32Connor Wood?

  I just thought about the other day, how like when we lived with our parents, it would just like be the end of the night and everyone would be like, okay, good night. You just like go up to your room. What a crazy concept now. Like, we were all roommates.

• 1:02:44Brooke Averick?

  We were roommates. Yeah, that's true.

• 1:02:49Connor Wood?

  It's just so crazy. And like everyone just like woke up and did their own thing.

• 1:02:51Brooke Averick?

  It's crazy to think like you lived with your siblings too.

• 1:02:54Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 1:02:54Brooke Averick?

  Like I, there was a point in my life where I lived with my siblings every day.

• 1:03:00Brooke Averick?

  Really weird.

• 1:03:02Connor Wood?

  Very weird.

• 1:03:03Brooke Averick?

  What's your perfect memory?

• 1:03:05Connor Wood?

  I mean, it's like my favorite memory ever, it actually gives me chills.

• 1:03:11Brooke Averick?

  That you met me?

• 1:03:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15Connor Wood?

  There was a day that we went, we were, we took like a college trip, like my college friends and I went to this, like, we went to Hawaii, because we had friends in college there. And we like all slept on, we all shared like one hotel room. It was like eight of us. And then we went to this party and it was like pool party. It was so much fun. And then we were like, we're gonna go camp on the beach. And we go camp on the beach, we had a fire and everything. And then we all just brought blankets, we didn't have tents, we just slept in the sand on the beach.

• 1:03:39Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 1:03:40Connor Wood?

  And then at 6:00 AM, everyone just kind of like started rustling. We were in like a huge, like just pile of blankets. And we sat up and the sun was coming up and there was a pod of dolphins swimming by. And we all ran and sprinted down and jumped in the ocean and it was warm. And it was like six in the morning and the ocean was warm. We were just like swimming, bobbing in and out of the waves.

• 1:04:02Brooke Averick?

  That sounded, that like, story entered my soul.

• 1:04:06Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna show you.

• 1:04:07Brooke Averick?

  It sounded amazing.

• 1:04:09Connor Wood?

  And we went and got poke for breakfast, and when we got to the poke place, the guy was wheeling in a trash can on wheels, the fish from the ocean that they had just caught. And he gave it extra.

• 1:04:20Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 1:04:21Connor Wood?

  I was really mad.

• 1:04:21Brooke Averick?

  That sounds like a perfect day.

• 1:04:24Connor Wood?

  Okay, how close and warm is your family?

• 1:04:26Brooke Averick?

  I have to pee really bad.

• 1:04:27Connor Wood?

  Okay, I can talk for a second.

• 1:04:28Brooke Averick?

  No, well, we can wrap up.

• 1:04:31Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 1:04:31Brooke Averick?

  Or do you want to end with this last question?

• 1:04:33Connor Wood?

  Like, how was this 36 questions to fall in love, and one of them is, how do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

• 1:04:38Brooke Averick?

  Cause you're getting to know each other on a deep level.

• 1:04:41Connor Wood?

  What if anything is too serious to be joked about?

• 1:04:47Brooke Averick?

  Is that one of the questions?

• 1:04:48Connor Wood?

  Nothing if you write a good enough joke. All right, we'll wrap up there. Thank you guys for listening. Brooke has to... What?

• 1:04:56Brooke Averick?

  Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing?

• 1:05:00Connor Wood?

  This is, like, this would send me home early.

• 1:05:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, this is...

• 1:05:07Brooke Averick?

  Your house containing everything you own catches fire. If you were to die this evening, like, what? All right, that's kind of crazy.

• 1:05:17Connor Wood?

  No, imagine you're on a date, and someone's like, "Yeah, it's great to meet you." If you were to die this evening, what would be one thing you would?

• 1:05:24Brooke Averick?

  If a family member of yours was murdered?

• 1:05:27Connor Wood?

  I'm just spitballing here. If your whole family were to be...

• 1:05:30Brooke Averick?

  Uh, if your house caught on fire tonight?

• 1:05:34Connor Wood?

  If you, what's one, you have a hunch about how you're gonna die?

• 1:05:42Connor Wood?

  What do you think?

• 1:05:45Brooke Averick?

  That's incredible.

• 1:05:46Connor Wood?

  That's Patchi on a date.

• 1:05:48Brooke Averick?

  Patchi on a date be like? POV, on a date with Patchi.

• 1:05:56Brooke Averick?

  Alright man, it was great talking to you. Sorry about everything I said earlier. Sorry about what I said about whatever. We love y'all and... I have to hit the pisser.

• 1:06:08Connor Wood?

  She's gonna be on the can. I'll be right here, my Kelly Clarkson.

• 1:06:11Brooke Averick?

  Off that can?

• 1:06:12Connor Wood?

  Off that can and on the can, brother. Alright, get in there, girl. Put your... Put your... Put your loafers on and get out of here. Alright, we're wrapping up. I, uh... I'm gonna probably eat my lunch, though. I was gonna save for later, but it's time now. It's 11. 11 o'clock somewhere. Oh, it's almost noon. It's lunchtime. Alright, bye, guys.

• 1:06:41Speaker 08

  Welcome to the 50th Hunger Games!

• 1:06:43Speaker 07

  Witness the beginning of the revolution.

• 1:06:45Speaker 08

  Hey Mitch, you've been trying to take down these games from Star.

• 1:06:48Speaker 07

  Film for IMAX.

• 1:06:49Speaker 08

  Make them remember you.

• 1:06:52Speaker 07

  The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping, November 20th, made in PG-13.

• 1:06:58Speaker 09

  Somebody asked me how I defined myself. And I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined? When we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.

• 1:07:13Speaker 09

  Because identity's not a performance. It's an exploration. Never the same. But always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox Intense, and the new Sweet Chemistry by Prada.

• 1:07:27Speaker 10

  Hey, listen! Power up your play with Nintendo Switch 2 and experience Link's legendary adventure, now reborn in vibrant detail on our fastest and most powerful system yet.

• 1:07:40Speaker 10

  And harness the power of the Ocarina with the built-in microphone.

• 1:07:49Speaker 10

  The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. A Nintendo Switch 2 exclusive. Game and system sold separately. Game rated Everyone 10 and up.