Operation Mincemeat | Dead Drop | 2

Charles and Ewen have a body and watertight backstory for their fictional Acting Major Bill Martin. Now they have to get him to Spain Do you have a suggestion for a scandal you would like us to cover? Or perhaps you have a question you would like to ask our hosts? Email us at [email protected] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• 0:00Matt Forde?

  Just a warning at the start, this episode contains swearing and descriptions of a dead body. Okay, Alice, today's episode needs to be kept under wraps.

• 0:10Alice Levine?

  Okay, yeah.

• 0:11Matt Forde?

  It's a secret.

• 0:12Alice Levine?

  Yeah, wasn't it?

• 0:13Matt Forde?

  That any detail, if leaked, could undermine the war effort.

• 0:18Alice Levine?

  No, but...

• 0:19Matt Forde?

  Like, literally nothing.

• 0:21Alice Levine?

  That's so...

• 0:22Matt Forde?

  No, because any... The more we talk, the more details we give. So it has to be... You have to promise me you keep it under wraps.

• 0:28Alice Levine?

  Okay, I'll keep it quiet.

• 0:30Matt Forde?

  Oh, well done. Hitler's gonna win now.

• 0:37Matt Forde?

  30th of April, 1943, Atlantic Ocean. Captain Bill Jewell sits bolt upright in his bunk as an explosion echoes around the officers' mess. His chiseled youthful face is glazed with sweat. His chest is thumping.

• 0:54Alice Levine?

  Tell me about Bill.

• 0:56Matt Forde?

  He is about to die, but in a very hot way.

• 1:01Alice Levine?

  Oh, God.

• 1:03Matt Forde?

  Very niche fetish, isn't it? Because they're unattainable in two ways.

• 1:11Alice Levine?

  That's very telling that you think a hot guy is unattainable, to me.

• 1:17Matt Forde?

  Raised voices echo from the control room. He fumbles for his watch. 3 a.m. They're not due to surface on the Spanish coast for at least another hour. Another explosion reverberates around the submarine. The whole vessel shudders. Captain Jewell leaps down from the bunk bed, pulling on his shirt as he tears down the narrow corridor. He hunches his tall frame as he enters the control room. Its low ceilings are lined with pipework, and the walls are packed with dials, levers, and valves. He checks the submarine's coordinates, still 65 feet below the surface. At the control board, Lieutenant Scott is grim-faced. Sir, there's a Type 7 German sub about two miles east.

• 2:02Matt Forde?

  They're hammering one of our frigates. Jewell grabs the periscope in the center of the room and leans in. He can just about make out a vast British warship in the distance. Fireballs explode around it. Sir, they've radioed a distress call. Jewell is thrown back onto the control board as another explosion rocks the hull like a hammer. Permission to engage. Jewell doesn't answer. He's not one to shy away from a fight, but today is different. Sir, do you give the order? Jewell shakes his head slowly. He can't quite believe what he's about to say. No. Churchill's words still ring in his ears.

• 2:46Matt Forde?

  Avoid conflict at all costs. Jewell's jaw tightens. Our orders haven't changed. More important than 200 British lives, sir.

• 2:58Alice Levine?

  So they're not gonna answer the mayday call?

• 3:02Matt Forde?

  Would you wanna overrule Churchill?

• 3:04Alice Levine?

  Well, no, but I mean...

• 3:06Matt Forde?

  At this point in his career, he's in his imperial phase.

• 3:07Alice Levine?

  I mean, I'm not a naval gal, I don't know, but this feels like, at the very least a faux pas, at the very most brutal.

• 3:13Matt Forde?

  Yeah, dereliction of duty. Isn't the whole point to fire back? Isn't this what you boys joined the military for?

• 3:19Alice Levine?

  Okay, well, don't force me into a corner. That's not quite what I'm saying.

• 3:27Matt Forde?

  He sees a shadow flash across his lieutenant's face. Then confusion. Jewell hesitates. For the past week, he's felt like a spy on his own vessel. He can't risk Britain's military plans being leaked to the enemy. It could lose them the war. He just hopes he can trust his lieutenant. Come with me. They weave through the bowels of the submarine to the cramped torpedo compartment. He makes his way to the furthest corner, pulls a sheet of tarpaulin off a gleaming metal cylinder. He starts to wrench open the bolted lid. This stays between us. The lid swings open, then a revolting stench fills the compartment.

• 4:11Matt Forde?

  Lieutenant Scott backs away. Oh, what the fuck is that? Is that... Is that a human? Jewell holds his breath. Scott steps backward, shaking his head. I don't like this. Captain Jewell pulls himself up to his full height as he takes in the decomposing corpse. Its paper-thin skin, its sunken eyes. He leans across to Scott and tells him. Meet Acting Major Bill Martin. Get this right, and this man might just win us this war.

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• 6:31Matt Forde?

  I'm Matt Ford.

• 6:31Alice Levine?

  And I'm Alice Levine.

• 6:33Matt Forde?

  And this is British Scandal, an Audible original.

• 6:47Matt Forde?

  So Alice, the operation is underway. What do you make of Mincemeat so far?

• 6:51Alice Levine?

  Okay, so this is absolutely crackers, but kinda genius, but also bonkers. So the greatest minds in the country have found a corpse, which is going to be their kind of prop, I guess, in misleading the Germans. But it's a tough market for corpses, so they couldn't find one that died of the right thing. But they've found him, it's gonna be fine, they're gonna fudge it. They've invented a Royal Marine identity. They've stuffed the pockets of this Royal Marine with love letters, tickets. They're gonna chuck him in the sea, see who finds him.

• 7:23Matt Forde?

  Yeah, this whole plan relies on the Germans finding him, the Germans going through the pockets, believing it, passing on that intelligence, and then taking a strategic military decision to not send troops to Sicily but to Greece instead. And 100,000 lives rely on all those bits of luck going our way. We've had a lot of harebrained schemes in the history of this show, and usually it's mad people doing mad things. But these are sensible members of the British establishment coming up with arguably the balmmiest scheme in the history of the British military.

• 7:59Alice Levine?

  To use the military term, it's bonkers, bonkers, chocolate conkers.

• 8:02Matt Forde?

  It is. So what do you think's gonna happen next?

• 8:05Alice Levine?

  It can't get more weird. Surely we've ridden the wave of the weird, and now we'll settle into something that is more conventional for a military team.

• 8:13Matt Forde?

  I'm afraid I think there are more waves to come, because once the body's in the sea, they've completely lost control. No one knows what's gonna happen next, so let's see if Acting Major Bill Martin can help win the war and defeat Hitler. This is episode two, Dead Drop.

• 8:33Matt Forde?

  Fifteen days earlier, 15th of April, Room 13, Admiralty Building, London. Charles Chomley paces the pokey basement office. The unfamiliar Marine's tunic feels rough around his neck. Glances over the detailed plan on the blackboard for what feels like the 100th time. Today, Winston Churchill is coming to inspect Operation Mincemeat. Charles knows the Prime Minister is furious it has taken so long to get to this point. Hitler has started moving troops to Sicily.

• 9:06Alice Levine?

  So it might be too late.

• 9:08Matt Forde?

  Well, this is the problem with, like, putting stuff off during a war against someone like Hitler is, he's not just hanging about waiting to see what your next move is. Hitler, we've gotta remember, it's fair to say, a pretty bad guy, and did not muck about getting himself into other countries.

• 9:24Alice Levine?

  Okay, this is the whole thing. We want Germany to stay away from Sicily, ideally.

• 9:28Matt Forde?

  That is the point of the whole operation, is Sicily is the Allies' springboard into Europe. Because Italy is in the alliance with the Nazis, and strategically, just having that island off the coast, if you take that, you can then use that to get into Italy and get onto the mainland. If Hitler secures Sicily, the whole plan fails.

• 9:50Matt Forde?

  Charles jumps as a voice interrupts his thoughts. Stand still, for God's sakes! Ewan Montague is straightening a stack of paperwork on the boardroom table at perfect right angles. Charles turns as a cloud of cigar smoke fills the office. He swallows to stop himself from coughing as he takes in the round, imposing figure and black Homburg hat in the doorway. Montague jumps up. So good of you to come all the way down here, Prime Minister. Churchill ignores him and looks Charles up and down. I didn't realize you were a Royal Marine. Charles looks down at his uniform. Oh, um, this actually belongs to Bill, Major Martin.

• 10:35Alice Levine?

  Oh, weird.

• 10:37Matt Forde?

  Who? The body. I thought I'd wear it in. A box-fresh uniform may look suspicious. Churchill stares at Charles like he's mad. Christ. Come on, then. I haven't got all day. Charles nods and takes a stack of note cards from his pocket. He notices his hands are shaking. We have identified a body. A drowning victim. Charles hesitates. He opens his mouth, but Montague cuts in. A pneumonia, Prime Minister. Charles catches Montague's eye. Our pathologist is satisfied that the fluid on the lungs will look exactly the same, particularly if the Spanish don't perform a full post-mortem, which we're almost sure they won't.

• 11:22Alice Levine?

  Little bit of massaging of the facts there. Uh, fluid on the lungs, yeah, uh, rat poison actually killed him, uh, and we're good to go. The uniform's got some scratches in it. We're brilliant.

• 11:32Matt Forde?

  Charles chips in. We've made Major Martin a Roman Catholic. Seeing Churchill raise an eyebrow, Charles continues. To discourage an autopsy. Churchill grunts. We spent the last three months creating a backstory for him. Place of birth, privately educated, the only son of a doting father and dead mother. At school, he excelled in- Churchill holds up his hand. I do not need to hear his school report. Charles's cheeks feel warm. He has a sweetheart. Charles takes the photograph of the MI5 secretary from the table and passes it to Churchill. Pam, they've not long met, but a week ago Bill proposed. There's a receipt for the diamond ring somewhere. Charles sifts through the wallet litter.

• 12:16Matt Forde?

  What Charles is trying to say is Major Bill Martin's backstory is watertight. The Germans will find exactly what they'd expect to find on a real soldier. And the papers?

• 12:28Matt Forde?

  Montague hands the Prime Minister a wad of documents. We had them written by General Nye himself, and they'll say that Sicily is the diversion and Greece is the true target. Churchill glances briefly at the letters. And after you've played dress up? We'll release him off the Spanish coast and hope that the Spanish authorities- Hope? Charles starts at Churchill's sharpness. I'm sending a hundred thousand men to Sicily's beaches on a hope Hitler won't be waiting. Where will you float the corpse? Charles glances at Montague sheepishly. Well, that is one thing that we are still, um, locking in. Uh, we hope, uh, we plan. But Churchill again cuts in. You don't know?

• 13:12Matt Forde?

  The room is silent. Of course, Prime Minister, it is hard for us to control logistics in Spain from this side of the Atlantic. Churchill slams his hand on the table. Then find someone who can. Charles feels his heart pounding, tries not to look at the Prime Minister's spittle that's sprayed all over the table. A submarine, HMS Seraph, set sail from Scotland in four days. I want your man on it.

• 13:42Matt Forde?

  As Churchill storms out of the room, Charles swallows. Four days to find a contact in Spain. But Montague is already picking up the phone. I think I might know just the man.

• 14:00Matt Forde?

  The following day, Walton Heath Golf Club, Surrey.

• 14:05Matt Forde?

  Captain Alan Hugh Hilgarth groans as the heavens open.

• 14:10Matt Forde?

  He turns his collar up against the biting wind, his thick, dark eyebrows not together as he squints across the fairway. Surrey seems determined to remind him why he left England in the first place. As Britain's naval attache in Spain, he was keen to get a few holes in before heading back home. But as he lifts his nine iron, a shout comes across the team. Alan Hilgarth? His ball flies off into the rough.

• 14:40Alice Levine?

  Alan Hilgarth, discuss.

• 14:42Matt Forde?

  Okay, Alan Hilgarth is very cool because he's posing as Britain's naval attache in Spain, but they don't realise that he's actually part of the intelligence corps.

• 14:52Alice Levine?

  Okay.

• 14:53Matt Forde?

  So he's there to charm them and keep them on side, but he's working surreptitiously. And those skills and that charming personality mean that he has a very special place in history. He is the inspiration for James Bond.

• 15:07Alice Levine?

  Wow, I didn't know there was a singular person that it was sort of rooted in the personality of. Okay, so this asks more questions than it answers. Who is it gonna be? Please say Brosnan because mad voice. Connery?

• 15:22Matt Forde?

  Master Alan Hilgarth, sir. I'm here at your, uh, uh, naval attache in Spain.

• 15:28Alice Levine?

  The jaw is wild, is Connery?

• 15:30Matt Forde?

  I've never tried a Connery before.

• 15:31Alice Levine?

  Thank God we're in vision.

• 15:32Matt Forde?

  But he's very much like that, Sean Connery.

• 15:35Alice Levine?

  And what's Brosnan?

• 15:36Matt Forde?

  Um, Bond, James Bond. And Roger Moore is, I don't know. I haven't watched that many Bond films, actually.

• 15:44Alice Levine?

  Daniel Craig?

• 15:45Matt Forde?

  Hmm.

• 15:46Alice Levine?

  God, that's good.

• 15:48Matt Forde?

  He stares across at two figures, hunched under a single umbrella. One of the men steps forward. Alan Hilgarth, you're a hard man to get hold of. Alan scowls. He knows an MI5 man has been making calls to his secretary. But as an attache in a neutral country with unofficial German sympathies, he cannot be seen to get involved with MI5. I'm afraid I can't help you. Actually, I think you might be the only man who can. Alan looks down at the hand being offered to him. You and Montague. Montague hands Alan a black and white photo of a skeletal-looking man with sunken eyes. I don't understand. Major Bill Martin. Alan studies the photograph.

• 16:34Matt Forde?

  Except, he doesn't exist. Alan stares at the men in front of him. In just over a week, he's gonna wash up on a beach in Spain with a briefcase containing falsified documents claiming Britain intends to invade Greece. The younger man interjects with boyish excitement. It's our solution to the Sicily problem. Alan feels his heartbeat quicken. And we need you to ensure these papers end up in German hands.

• 17:01Matt Forde?

  Alan can't tell if it's rain on his neck or sweat. He throws back his head and starts to laugh. But Montague's face remains deadly serious. But I'm, I'm a diplomat, an attache, I'm not a- Neither man joins in. Churchill disagrees. He asked for me personally. He sees Montague glance down at his shoes, then fix him with a look. Alan shakes his head. Personally. The younger man cuts in. We were wondering about the Bay of Cadiz as a drop point for the body. Alan tries to catch up. Cadiz? But it's a naval base. The young man looks back blankly.

• 17:43Matt Forde?

  The Spanish government might be sympathetic to Hitler's lot, but the British have good relations with the Spanish Navy. If you release your body in Cadiz, they'll pass the briefcase right back to the British.

• 17:56Alice Levine?

  This is why I'm not in charge of military operations. I just thought the Spanish were just one big amorphous blob. But now we've got the politicians on one side, we've got the military on another. So if the Spanish Navy find Bill Martin, they'll be like, you dropped a body, don't worry about it, lost and found, here you go. Whereas if the Spanish government find it, then it possibly, probably, maybe will reach the Germans?

• 18:21Matt Forde?

  Exactly. I mean, the Navy would probably still read all the letters, they're nosy people. But the intel wouldn't get passed on.

• 18:29Matt Forde?

  Alan winces as Montague claps him on the back. I knew you were our man. This is why we need you. There must be somewhere vulnerable to German influence. I haven't agreed, I, I was just- He watches Charles start to make furious notes. He takes in Montague's expectant face. This is your chance to make a real difference, to perhaps even end this god-awful war. Alan looks again at the photo and feels himself step forward, mutter. Uh, uh, okay, look, I, I, I think there is a better spot for the drop, and I might know where. Because Alan realises that if this utterly preposterous mission is going to be a success, these two men are going to need all the help they can get.

• 19:21Matt Forde?

  Thirteen days before the launch, Hackney, London. Charles drums his fingers impatiently on the window of the Black Cat as it crawls through the bombed-out London streets. On his lap, Hilgarth's map lies open, the location marked with a giant red cross. Huelva.

• 19:42Alice Levine?

  Who's ever gonna crack that code? So, why Huelva?

• 19:46Matt Forde?

  So for three reasons. One, German intelligence in Spain operated from there, so word would reach the right people fast. Two, the tides worked well, so there's a good chance the body would wash up on the shore instead of getting carried out to sea. And three, the submarine could get quite close. And four, good nightlife.

• 20:06Alice Levine?

  The strip is pumping.

• 20:10Matt Forde?

  Churchill has already signed off on the details. The submarine leaves in two days. Now they have to collect the body and get it to Scotland in one piece. Next to him, Montague is scanning a telegram. Captain of the Seraph wants us there by noon tomorrow. Charles wincers. Barely 24 hours. The cab driver comes to an abrupt halt outside the red brick Victorian façade of Hackney Mortuary. Charles feels an odd pang of excitement as they enter, like he's preparing to meet an old friend. In the holding area, the coroner takes them to a large metal drawer. He smirks at Charles. Try to keep your breakfast down this time.

• 20:53Matt Forde?

  The drawer springs open. Charles takes a step back. His face is etched with revulsion. The lower half of Major Martin's face is covered in mould. His john dis-skin has started to break away from the nose and cheekbones. He was stored at four degrees centigrade. Cold enough to slow down decomposition, but I'm not a bloody magician. Let's just get him dressed. Montague holds the body still as Charles carefully eases the woolen khaki trousers over Major Martin's mottled, spindly legs. His body feels stiff but oddly delicate, like one rough movement could snap a limb. The waistband hangs loose. Charles fixes his belt on the tightest setting. It all looks wrong.

• 21:39Matt Forde?

  The new uniform on the decomposing corpse. Charles pulls on his overcoat as Montague tries to force a military boot onto Major Martin's foot. I need some help! But Charles is already out the door. He thinks he might have an idea.

• 21:57Matt Forde?

  An hour later, Charles stands in a large industrial warehouse on the outskirts of London. Shelves on either wall are filled with an array of curiosities. Charles reaches out and takes a bar of chocolate, but it smells of garlic. A quiet voice comes from behind him.

• 22:17Matt Forde?

  For agents parachuted into France, helps their breath smell... French.

• 22:23Alice Levine?

  Is that a thing? That just feels like xenophobia.

• 22:27Matt Forde?

  Charles turns to see a thin-faced man with a neat moustache watching him. Charles Fraser Smith, chief supplier of gadgets to the Secret Service.

• 22:37Alice Levine?

  Okay, Fraser Smith feels like a character we know and love with his mad things and his bunker with his inventions.

• 22:44Matt Forde?

  Well, that's it. We already know who the inspiration for Bond was. And now, Charles Fraser Smith was the inspiration for Q. And just wait till we meet the inspiration for Pussy Galore.

• 22:55Matt Forde?

  Next to the chocolate, Charles spots a pair of boots. The laces become a steel garrote. Charles's eyebrows raise, impressed. But I can't say I've got the underwater corpse transporter you asked for. Charles sinks. You must have something suitable. Fraser Smith shakes his head. It'd have to be custom-made. We leave for Scotland in a few hours. Please, anything. Charles stares at him anxiously. The inventor disappears into a packed storage cupboard and gestures to a hulking steel container. We could pack it with dry ice to keep your men fresh, and bolt the lid shut. Charles walks slowly round it.

• 23:40Matt Forde?

  But i- it's huge. You'll need at least 21 pounds of dry ice to keep the body fresh and block out any oxygen. This container... But Charles is already tuning out. His eyes flick to his watch, the sunken features of Bill Martin in his mind's eye. The steel container has solved one problem, but it's caused several more. Now they have less than a day to move the body, this hulking piece of kit, and themselves up to Scotland before the submarine sets off, with or without them.

• 24:15Matt Forde?

  Twelve hours later, English countryside.

• 24:20Matt Forde?

  Montague braces himself against the dashboard of the Fordson BBE van. Blackout is in force across Britain, so the van's headlights are masked and the winding English lanes are shrouded in impenetrable darkness. Behind Montague, Charles's legs are splayed over the metal cylinder in an attempt to keep it steady. Every few seconds, he retches into a paper bag. Former racing driver Jock Horsefall drives with one hand on the wheel, grinning.

• 24:51Alice Levine?

  Okay, this is amazing. So they just get to put together their A-team. They're like, we need a driver, let's get the best driver in the country.

• 24:57Matt Forde?

  So I get in Lewis Hamilton as part of the war effort. So he'd driven at Le Mans, and he was particularly skilled at driving in the dark at speed because he was nearly blind.

• 25:07Alice Levine?

  That's not true.

• 25:08Matt Forde?

  That is absolutely true. So you're using this body to play a trick on the Germans? Montague starts, unsure how Jock obtained such classified information. Relax, I'm the picture of digression. I think you mean discretion. The van swings wildly to the right. I love a practical joke. One time I wired a battery to a toilet seat, gave my girlfriend a shot. I wrote a poem about it if you want to hear it. Perhaps you should just keep your eyes on the road. Montague swallows as Jock puts his foot down harder on the accelerator. Not that it'll do me much good. Doctors say I'm as good as blind. Montague closes his eyes. Captain Jewell wants the corpse in Scotland for noon tomorrow.

• 25:53Matt Forde?

  And despite his reckless driving, Jock is their best chance of getting there. He feels a sudden jolt under the wheel. His stomach flies into his mouth as the van leaves the road. Charles and the cylinder slam into the back of his seat. Smoke pours from the engine. You idiot! Jock simply laughs. Ha! We're only one piece, aren't we? Bet that's the closest you desk boys have come to death in action. But Montague is looking at the dentured canister. If his face has been damaged, it'll be obvious the injuries came out of death. You could ruin the whole mission.

• 26:31Alice Levine?

  Not being funny, but that face isn't looking great, already.

• 26:34Matt Forde?

  Now look what you've done to him. He looked fit before.

• 26:37Alice Levine?

  You sort of need to have photos, a bit like when you check over a rental car. You know, and you're like, that scratch was there, that dent was there. Because if I was Jock, I'd be like, I did not do that.

• 26:48Matt Forde?

  Montague only starts to relax when eight hours later, Holy Lock finally comes into view. A fresh-faced, broad-shouldered man stands on the jetty in a captain's uniform. His face is handsome, with a strong square jaw. He can't be more than 30.

• 27:06Alice Levine?

  That's fine.

• 27:06Matt Forde?

  That's fine. I do. Grown up by 30.

• 27:10Alice Levine?

  There's 30 and there's 30, do you know what I mean?

• 27:12Matt Forde?

  Also, back then, that's like 60 now.

• 27:13Alice Levine?

  So I'm like 80.

• 27:15Matt Forde?

  Yeah, you're like 100, retrospectively purving on a 60-year-old.

• 27:19Alice Levine?

  Which I think is fine.

• 27:22Matt Forde?

  Montague barks at him. You don't look old enough to be a captain. The man simply smiles and shakes his hand with a firm grip. Captain Bill Jewell, shall we get him loaded on? Montague helps Charles open the doors of the van. Captain Jewell's face immediately darkens as he takes in the size of the cylinder. Good lord, I, I thought this was a body, not a nuclear warhead. It's to stop decomposition. Captain Jewell tries to lift the cylinder, but it doesn't budge. I'll have to get my boys involved. Montague feels Charles turn to him anxiously. This mission is highly confidential. We need as few people as possible to know about it. It cannot be leaked. We'll help.

• 28:07Matt Forde?

  Montague takes off his overcoat and starts to roll up his shirt sleeves. Captain Jewell half-smirks. And at the other end? Are you going to be there for the drop? Obviously not. Then I'll need my men. Tell them, tell them we suspect the Germans have stealing information of dead bodies. This is a test, a trick, but you can't tell anyone the truth.

• 28:33Matt Forde?

  Montague looks at Captain Jewell. Understood? He waits for Captain Jewell to nod. Montague can't help feeling a rush of excitement as they finally load the canister onto a life raft. They all stand back. The submarine doors slam shut and the engine kicks into gear. Standing on the empty deserted dock, Montague and Charles realise they've done everything they can. Now they have to hope Captain Jewell can execute his part of the plan without blowing their cover. All they can do now... Is wait.

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• 30:14Matt Forde?

  A few days later, 30th of April, 1943. The Atlantic Ocean. Thirty minutes until the drop. Captain Jewell peers through the search periscope, takes in the distant line of the Spanish coastline. There's no sign of the German U-boat. He checks his watch. 4:00 a.m. If they're going to do this, it has to be now. He turns to face three of his best deckhands, still bleary-eyed from being woken by Lieutenant Scott a few moments ago. When the submarine services will head out onto the bridge, release the body in the briefcase into the water. One of the deckhands stares at him. What, the hope the Germans will steal it?

• 30:59Matt Forde?

  Jewell pauses. He wonders if he should tell the truth, but he's saved by another question. And the canister? No, we have to shoot the canister till it sinks. If it's found, it could blow the whole mission. It's vital nobody sees it or us. The Spanish authorities need to believe our soldier came from a ship. Any questions? The men shake their heads in stunned silence. Captain Jewell turns to Lieutenant Scott. What is our position? Hundred and forty-eight degrees off Portil Pilar, eight cables from Huelva Beach, so a little under a mile.

• 31:38Alice Levine?

  I kind of just want to know, like, fifteen minutes or... It's very, "My baby's 22 months. Give me a break."

• 31:44Matt Forde?

  And she's just off the coast of Huelva Beach?

• 31:46Alice Levine?

  (laughing)

• 31:49Matt Forde?

  Bring her up!

• 31:53Matt Forde?

  Captain Jewell climbs a metal ladder and shoves open the access hatch as the submarine breaks the surface. Wind rips at his hair as he makes his way out onto the bridge. The men follow, carrying the cylinder on their shoulders like a funeral procession. They lay it out on the deck and look to Jewell to crack it open.

• 32:15Matt Forde?

  Captain Jewell's seen his share of dead bodies. Even as a child, his father was a surgeon. But as he releases the corpse and eases Bill Martin's body out of the canister, he can feel acid rising in his throat. Oh, who was it? Captain Jewell realizes with a pang that this will be somebody's son, somebody's brother, and he doesn't even know his name. He's a war hero. He removes his cap and starts reciting the funeral service. "I kept silence, yea, even from good words, but it was pain and grief to me." Sir, over there! Captain Jewell twists around to spot a collection of tiny shadows in the darkness. He feels his blood rise,

• 32:59Matt Forde?

  but he can't abort the mission, not when they've come so far. Throw him over! Now! The men share anxious glances before throwing the corpse overboard. Jewell scrambles to raise his 12-gauge shotgun to his shoulder. He hauls the canister to the far side of the submarine, away from the fishing boat. He takes aim and fires.

• 33:25Matt Forde?

  He knows the gunshots will be heard. He just has to hope he's out of sight.

• 33:32Matt Forde?

  He dares a glance back at the fishing boat. He can see a father and a child, potential witnesses. He orders his men back in the boat, glances back. They're still staring. He needs to tell Montague and Charles. All he can hope is that this hasn't compromised the entire mission.

• 33:57Matt Forde?

  Five hours later, 9:00 a.m. Huelva, Spain.

• 34:04Matt Forde?

  Forensic pathologist Dr. Eduardo Fernandez stumbles across the burning-hot white sand. He raises his hand to his sticky forehead. He's just received an urgent message that a body has been washed up on the beach and that the Spanish authorities want him to take a look at it. Ahead, a crowd gathers at the water's edge. But as he approaches, the chatter dies away. His jaw tightens. He's been nothing but pleasant since he arrived in Huelva from Seville. He's an expert in his field, a leading light in forensics for over 20 years. But the locals are skeptical of his modern practices.

• 34:49Matt Forde?

  Fernandez pushes through the crowd. He has a job to do. He stops when he sees a dark shape lying limply on the sand, half-covered in a blanket. He takes in the black military boots, sodden British Marines' uniform, and yellowish, sunken face. Fernandez would place him somewhere in his 30s, though his features are so decayed, it's hard to be sure. He turns as a long shadow falls across the body. He looks up to find a tall, lean man in dark robes, his large, gold crucifix hanging from his neck as he mutters a prayer. Subviente, santo Dios, occorrete angela domine.

• 35:33Matt Forde?

  Fernandez suppresses a sigh as the crowd around him joins in. Since he arrived in Huelva, the clergy have been a thorn in his side. Excuse me. He feels the priest's eyes on him as he crouches down and begins examining the corpse. He picks up a thin, mottled hand. Working near the coast, Fernandez has seen countless dead fishermen. This corpse has clearly spent time in the water. But he'd expect a drowned man's fingers and ears to have been gnawed by crabs and fish. Here, there's no sign of bite marks. He touches the man's scalp, his full head of thick hair, not brittle or balding from so long in the sea. I'd like to take him back to the lab.

• 36:18Matt Forde?

  The priest catches his arm. The cause of death is obvious. This is not necessary. Padre, I need to be sure. He washed up on the beach. He drowned. And now you want to mutilate him? Fernandez feels the crowd closing in around him. Trying to hide his unease, he nods for the undertaker to step forward with a simple, wooden coffin. Please, think of the family. The priest is gesturing wildly to a crucifix and silver Saint Christopher around the soldier's neck.

• 36:53Alice Levine?

  It's working! It's basically like garlic to a vampire, Saint Christopher to an autopsy.

• 36:58Matt Forde?

  Exactly. It's two things Catholics hate: sex before marriage and autopsies.

• 37:03Alice Levine?

  Before marriage.

• 37:06Matt Forde?

  It's a real no-no. They'll want to know the boy is at peace. Fernandez feels the fight starting to drain out of him. He already has a full rotor back at the lab. Perhaps it would be easier, safer, to sign the young man's death certificate and move on with his day, avoid alienating himself further. But then he notices a shiny, black shape under the blanket. He pulls it back to reveal a smart leather briefcase. He reaches to pick it up, but as he does, the man's hand raises off the floor. The briefcase is attached to his wrist with a chain. Fernandez stares at the chain, baffled. He's never seen anything like this. He helps the undertaker load the body into the coffin

• 37:50Matt Forde?

  and carry it to a horse-drawn cart. But he knows something isn't right here. He can feel it in his bones. And he's going to work out exactly what's going on if it's the last thing he does.

• 38:09Matt Forde?

  A few minutes later, the British Embassy, Madrid, Spain. Alan Hilgarth excuses himself from the ornate dining room and makes his way across the marble hallway to his office. He's hopeful he'll be able to get back before the fish course. He smooths his double-breasted blazer and lifts the receiver. Charles Chumley's voice is frantic on the other end of the line. Has the parcel been delivered safely? Alan smiles. The body has been recovered. He listens to Montague and Charles's muffled celebration on the other end of the line. It's all in hand. He was picked up in Huelva, along with the briefcase. Once they've completed the autopsy...

• 38:53Matt Forde?

  Charles's voice cuts in, frantic. Autopsy? It was a body found on a beach, Charles. It shouldn't take long to ascertain it was a drowning. But Charles cuts in. But it wasn't a drowning! I thought... I thought Roman Catholics didn't do autopsies! Alan pauses, baffled. But there is a local expert, a forensic pathologist in Huelva. But Charles cuts in again. But he didn't drown! He was a homeless man! He died of rat poisoning! Alan feels a chill run down his spine. Why the bloody hell am I only hearing this now?

• 39:29Alice Levine?

  To be honest, what difference would it have made to tell Alan? It would have only ruined his dinner. He wouldn't have been able to get his place down his neck. Like, is there's no point? You couldn't have guessed that a pathologist would be there. You'd be tearing your hair out, Alan.

• 39:46Matt Forde?

  I was going to tell you after the fish course.

• 39:48Alice Levine?

  Before the petty fours! I would have told you before the petty fours!

• 39:53Matt Forde?

  Alan's wife's voice drifts down the corridor. Darling, do come back to the party. There's a red mallet.

• 40:01Matt Forde?

  Alan ducks around the corner, tucks the phone into the crook of his neck. All the bloody government resources that have gone into this mission, and you couldn't find a corpse with... an appropriate cause of death? Montague's voice cuts through on the other end of the line. There's a chance the phosphorus may show up on the autopsy. How quickly can you make it to Huelva? I'm at least five hours. Then leave now. Alan, you have to stop that autopsy. Alan feels his cheeks burning. And do what? March into a mortuary and tell them to stop? We haven't got a choice. Montague's voice is firm, but Alan can hear the desperation behind it. If this blows up in our faces, the entire operation is finished.

• 40:47Matt Forde?

  Then he adds more quietly. Let us know when it's done.

• 40:54Matt Forde?

  Five hours later, nuestra señora de la solidad cemetery, Huelva, Spain.

• 41:02Matt Forde?

  Alan Hilgarth reaches for the door handle of the Chevrolet. His bowtie hangs undone around his neck and his crisp dress shirt is already sticking to his back as he steps out into the humidity. The sun set hours ago, but he can hardly breathe in this heat. He scans the neat, simple headstones, then spots a small, flat-roofed building in the far corner. He edges over in the dark, then pulls at the rusting handle of the mortuary. The wooden door creaks open. Doctor Fernandez? In the corner of the hallway is a dark stone staircase. He edges down, the air getting thicker and hotter with every step. He thinks he can hear his own heartbeat.

• 41:48Matt Forde?

  He bats flies from his face as he peers into what must be the autopsy room. It's empty. Lined up on the side are the contents of Major Martin's pockets. Theatre ticket stubs, letters, receipts, a photo of his sweetheart. He starts to realise how little he knows about the soldier who never was. He should have asked Montague and Charles more questions.

• 42:13Matt Forde?

  Trying not to breathe through his nose, he approaches Major Martin on the marble slab. It's the first time he's seen him in the flesh, if it can be called that. His chest and abdomen have been flayed open and his breastbone has been removed. He takes in his moulding face, his decaying features, the yellowing pallor of his skin. To his untrained eye, this looks like a man who's been dead for some time. Who are you? Alan spins round. A tall, slim doctor is eyeing him suspiciously. His apron is bloodstained and he holds Major Martin's lung on a silver tray. In his other hand, he holds a scalpel. Captain Alan Hilgarth, Britain's naval attache.

• 42:59Matt Forde?

  Alan holds out his hand. The man looks at it for a moment but doesn't take it. We heard one of our officers have been brought down here. You're from the embassy? In Madrid? The doctor's expression is incredulous. We felt someone should be here. What have you found? Fernandez eyes him suspiciously. Too early to tell. But it's a drowning. Alan's voice comes out too sharp, too anxious. I mean, you pulled him out of the sea.

• 43:32Alice Levine?

  Very good, subliminally planting the seed of drowning, very subtle. You can barely see it, very nuanced, but if you attune your ear to it.

• 43:41Matt Forde?

  I mean, he's wet, so that's how he died?

• 43:44Alice Levine?

  Water, drowning, I mean, it's not rocket science.

• 43:46Matt Forde?

  He'd come out of the sea, what else could possibly have gone on?

• 43:52Matt Forde?

  Doctor Fernandez says nothing. His face is etched with concentration. He takes a sample from the lung and transfers it into a glass jar. What's that? Liquid on the lung, could be seawater. Alan stares at the dark red patches. Or it could be something else. I have to run further tests. Of course it's seawater, the man drowned! Doctor Fernandez drops his scalpel. Fuck! Alan sees a shadow fall over the pathologist's face. I refuse to be bullied. I am the expert, not you, and not a god-awful clergy. Alan stares at the man shocked as he starts muttering to himself.

• 44:35Matt Forde?

  He looks again at the incisions, the methodical way in which the doctor has lined up the corpse's ribs, breastplate, clavicles, and realises he's approached this all wrong. You think there's something going on, don't you? He knows it's a risk, but it's the last card he has. I couldn't possibly... Major Bill Martin was a very highly regarded officer, dealing with highly sensitive information. If there's even the slightest hint that his death could be suspicious, we, Britain, will need to investigate. I am quite capable of it. Alan realises that pulling rank won't work. Fernandez is a man of principle.

• 45:20Matt Forde?

  Then perhaps we're asking the same question. With respect, Doctor Fernandez, Huelva is not a safe place. You are an authority, but spies are active in this area. If this reaches the wrong ears, then your investigation may never meet the right ones. I must insist, the British authorities will take it from here. If there's foul play, we will uncover it.

• 45:48Alice Levine?

  Chilling how Alan can just do that. What a bare-faced liar.

• 45:53Matt Forde?

  When we're all like, oh, Bond's based on him and aren't they suave and aren't they clever?

• 45:56Alice Levine?

  And then take my dress off, because that's always what happens, isn't it? They just always like somehow just lie their way into bed. Sorry, I mean 007, I'm not just now going off on one.

• 46:07Matt Forde?

  Not all men, Alice.

• 46:08Alice Levine?

  Not all men.

• 46:09Matt Forde?

  Some of us were rejected from MI5.

• 46:13Matt Forde?

  Alan pauses, worried he's overplayed his hand. He sees Doctor Fernandez hesitate, then finally back away from the body, arms up, a frustrated expression on his face. Feeling a weight lift off his shoulders, Alan glances down at the body.

• 46:30Matt Forde?

  The sooner Major Martin is laid to rest, the better, for everyone.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  For decades, two legendary brands fought for the hearts of American bikers, Indian Motorcycle and Harley-Davidson. The battle looked a lot like Coke versus Pepsi or Ford versus Chevy, but tastes changed and Indian didn't adapt fast enough. The icon all but died. Then came the con men, the dreamers, a string of spectacular failures that kept Indian in the grave, until one company finally got it right. This is the story of an improbable revival and the reignition of an old rivalry. Hey, I'm David Brown, the host of the podcast Business Wars, and every season we bring you the true stories behind the companies that shape our world. Indian's new owners are going all in, but an existential crisis looms. Can Indian and Harley recruit enough younger riders to survive?

• 47:27Speaker 03

  Make sure to follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes of Business Wars early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.

• 47:39Matt Forde?

  You stepped out for your morning jog, except it's not your usual morning jog. You started listening to an epic sci-fi book on Audible. Thirty chapters later, you've accidentally run a half marathon. You've lost track of how far you've run, somewhere just past the city limits. You can't stop, you have to find out what happens next. Then it's over. The universe seems bigger. You feel different. You feel like you have no idea where you are. Audible, stories that speak to you.

• 48:15Matt Forde?

  The following day, Huelva, Spain. Major Carl Eric Kullenthal smiles broadly as the cafe owner throws an arm around his broad shoulders and greets him with his Spanish moniker. Don Pablo! Five years in Huelva have made Kullenthal a familiar face. The locals know him as the man who runs the radio business. Germans know him as the head of espionage for military intelligence in Spain. He's efficient and ruthless in his determination to serve his Fuhrer.

• 48:50Alice Levine?

  Okay, you had me from radio business and then you sort of lost me from serving as Fuhrer. We knew that Huelva was going to be an interesting place because obviously there's lots of different parties at play with different allegiances, but I'm intrigued by Kullenthal.

• 49:05Matt Forde?

  And he is an intriguing man, not just in his career, but he's also half-Jewish, which he had to hide in order to get on in German military intelligence. And in order to hide that and deflect any suspicion, he's always keen to prove himself. So this is someone who goes above and beyond so that people don't ask any questions about him.

• 49:26Matt Forde?

  He claps the cafe owner on the back. Cafe con leche, por favor.

• 49:32Matt Forde?

  He takes a seat out in the busy square, tucking his long legs under the small bistro table, opens his newspaper. Next to him, two elderly ladies are chattering loudly. At least he's getting a proper burial. I heard he was only young. Coolantail sips his coffee. Fishermen are always dying on the rough seas around Huelva. What was a British soldier doing out here on his own? Coolantail lowers his newspaper. Forgive me, I couldn't help overhearing. A British soldier. Are the authorities looking into it? The old woman clicks her teeth conspiratorially. The British took over. His funeral's today.

• 50:14Matt Forde?

  Coolantail nods jovially, folds his newspaper and rises to his feet. If a British soldier has washed up on his patch under suspicious circumstances, he has to know more.

• 50:28Matt Forde?

  Coolantail watches from behind a large ash tree, trying to make out the small cluster of mourners.

• 50:34Alice Levine?

  Okay, this is such a spy cliche. Hiding behind a tree, come on.

• 50:39Matt Forde?

  Isn't this what Southampton Football Club got in trouble for? They missed out on the playoffs because of this.

• 50:45Matt Forde?

  Among the mourners, Coolantail recognizes Alan Hilgarth. Panama hat held to his chest, watching as a simple wooden coffin is lowered into the grave. His eyes narrow. A senior attache doesn't travel five hours for the funeral of an ordinary soldier. Coolantail shifts his focus to the battered police Land Rover parked near the grave. The local police have helped him before. He knows they're his best shot. He approaches the chief of police, a stocky man, red-faced in a blue Guardia civil tunic. He glances towards the coffin. For it's an awful business. Who was he this time? He sees the officer hesitate.

• 51:31Matt Forde?

  He takes a step forward. We'd be grateful for any information. Coolantail is under no illusions. The chief of police knows exactly who he is. I don't know much. His name is Martin, a marine, washed up on the beach, a drowning. Coolantail doesn't let his frustration register on his chiseled face. There's lots of hotties in this.

• 51:54Alice Levine?

  Oh, yeah, I can't move from.

• 51:56Matt Forde?

  Was the war entirely fought by handsome men?

• 51:59Alice Levine?

  By babes.

• 52:02Matt Forde?

  And those babes would be stationed abroad, and that's where...

• 52:06Alice Levine?

  That's the etymology of babe station, yeah. It's slightly morphed over the years into something slightly different, but I think it's still got its roots.

• 52:14Matt Forde?

  Lost its way.

• 52:15Alice Levine?

  In protecting the nation.

• 52:18Matt Forde?

  Just veer a line with a phone.

• 52:21Matt Forde?

  Coolantail slips a card into the officer's hand. Well, if anything comes to mind, you would be appropriately compensated. He turns to walk back to his car. There was one thing.

• 52:36Matt Forde?

  Coolantail stops. There was a briefcase. Coolantail turns slowly. The body, it was chained to his wrist. His chest thumps. What was in it? I don't know. And where is it now? Police chief just shrugs. The compensation you mentioned. But Coolantail isn't listening. He's looking back at the funeral, watching Alan Hilgarth still standing over the grave. Coolantail's mind is racing. Suddenly, that man's long journey from Madrid is making sense. He takes a last look at the fresh mound of earth and walks to his car. Something doesn't fit. He knows Britain is hiding something.

• 53:22Matt Forde?

  Uncovering it isn't just an opportunity to prove himself. This could be a chance to win the war.

• 53:40Matt Forde?

  A quick note about our dialogue. In most cases, we can't know exactly what was said, but all our dramatizations are based on historical research. If you'd like to know more about this story, you can read Operation Mince Meat: The True Spy Story That Changed World War II by Ben McIntyre. You can watch Operation Mince Meat, a BBC Two documentary, Operation Mince Meat, a 2021 film, or go and see Operation Mince Meat, the musical. You've been listening to British Scandal, an Audible original, produced by Audible with Samizdat, hosted by me, Matt Ford.

• 54:12Alice Levine?

  And me, Alice Levine.

• 54:14Matt Forde?

  Written by Lydia Marchant. The story editor was James Maniac. The senior producer was Chica Ayers. The assistant producer was Louise Mason. The production manager was Louis Blathewick. Recorded by Jai Williams. Sound design by Rich Evans. The executive producers for Samizdat were Joe Sykes and Dasha Lisitzeen. Executive producers for Audible were Theodora Leludis and Distel Doyle.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Imagine you're reading Pride and Prejudice, except you're not reading it. Harris Dickinson and Marissa Abella are reading it to you on Audible. Her barbs sting you. His coldness sends a shiver up your spine. Your heart aches, your ears burn, you yearn for Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy to profess their undying love for one another. You can't bear it any longer. Well, maybe a chapter longer. Performance is so good, you'll give love a second chance. Audible, stories that speak to you.

• 55:34Speaker 05

  There are books that change how you see the world, and there are books that change how you see yourself. In a new podcast series, A Great Book with Barack Obama, President Obama sits down with a series of surprising and sharp guests to explore six books that have shaped his life and perspective on the world. From Song of Solomon and the Fire Next Time, to All the Pretty Horses and Gilead. The president is joined by guests like Tom Hanks and Ta-Nehisi Coates to reflect on how these timeless stories shaped his thinking on everything from fatherhood to leadership, and discover together what they tell us about the world we live in and the world we want to create.

• 56:17Speaker 05

  Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of A Great Book with Barack Obama ad-free right now, plus access each audiobook discussed in the series. Download the Audible app today.