The Scapegoat | EP 2 | The Confidante

Disturbing messages start pouring in. Carl wonders – is his ex out for revenge? If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected] and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod https://www.instagram.com/betrayalpod/ and @glasspodcasts https://www.instagram.com/glasspodcasts/. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. If you are currently in crisis, please reach out to organizations that offer immediate support. We are including a few US-based resources here: 988 Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/ If you or someone you know is in crisis or need to talk to someone immediately, please call or text 988 – the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline available 24/7/365. National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence. They offer 24/7 phone and chat support to help you create a personalized safety plan and connect you with local support. For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org/betrayal. You can also get free, confidential, 24/7 support through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE. Every state has a domestic violence coalition. If you’re looking for help in the US, search the web for your state’s domestic violence coalition. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  You know the saying, knowledge is power? Well, it's a lot more than that. Knowledge can be growth, security, opportunity. And no one knows that better than Southern New Hampshire University. That's why they offer over 200 online degree programs designed to help you reach your goals. Set yourself up for success or get ready to pivot into something new. No matter your program, you'll learn practical, career-focused skills you can use on the job. And don't worry, getting your degree online doesn't mean doing it alone. Southern New Hampshire University has some of the best student support in online education. From day one to graduation, you'll have friendly, knowledgeable people to help you with everything,

• 0:47Speaker 00

  from applying and financial aid to tutoring and career development. At Southern New Hampshire University, knowledge can be life-changing. Get started at SNHU.edu/Betrayal. That's SNHU.edu/Betrayal. Okay, so buying a new car or new home starts by building credit, right? So how do you start building credit? Easy, with OnePay's Builder Card. There's no credit check and no monthly or annual fees. Just a card that helps you build credit to reach goals like buying a car or a home. When you finally make that big purchase, like buying a house, it's such an incredible feeling of accomplishment. You know how much work and how many little steps went into getting there.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  So finally, reaching that milestone just feels amazing. Download the OnePay app or visit onepay.com for banking that gives you more for what matters.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  OnePay is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Coastal Community Bank or Lead Bank, members FDIC. Builder Card results may vary and aren't guaranteed. Learn more about banking through OnePay at onepay.com/podcast.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  Some people never expected their lives to change in an instant. Most of us don't. That's why I want you to know about Saber Smart Pepper Spray. Yes, it helps protect you, but what makes it different is the connected app. If you're ever forced to use it in an emergency, it can alert your emergency contacts and share your location. So the people who love you aren't left searching. They're not left guessing. They know where to start. Visit saberred.com/betrayal. That's saberred.com/betrayal.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  It all sounds fucking crazy. It was happening all the time, all hours of the night, into the morning. And it was so nerve-wracking. It is enough to make anybody go crazy. It is enough to make anybody sick.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  I'm Adrei Gunning, and this is Betrayal, Season Six, Episode Two. The Scapegoat.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  In our last episode, we introduced you to Carl Bryan.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm a nerd. Such a nerd.

• 3:07Speaker 00

  He's a queer man from Kenosha, Wisconsin, with a big laugh and a big heart. His first relationship was rocky. Alcohol became an everyday struggle for his boyfriend, Adam Mejia. Like many people who love addicts, Carl didn't know how to handle it.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  I had a nervous breakdown on the carpet. Like, I laid on the floor just having a breakdown because he was completely wasted.

• 3:31Speaker 00

  Their life together quickly fell apart.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  And I said, this is it. There's no saving this relationship.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  But just after the breakup, Adam got into a serious drunk-driving accident. He was sentenced to 15 months behind bars. While he sat in jail, he spoke to Carl on the phone.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  He said it quite frequently that, like, yeah, he was upset that I didn't call an Uber.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  Carl replayed that night in his head, wishing he could have stopped Adam from getting in that car.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  It was just like immense guilt, immense guilt that I was feeling. I should have called an Uber.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  Carl thought, maybe if he had called an Uber, Adam wouldn't have gotten his fourth DUI. He wouldn't have caused a major accident. He wouldn't have gone to prison. Along with the guilt, Carl had another feeling. Anxiety. Was Adam stewing behind bars over what happened, blaming Carl for it all? And what would happen when Adam got out?

• 4:37Speaker 02

  I don't know what his intentions are. Like, that was kind of what was going through my mind at that time.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  That's when Carl turned to an old friend, a source of levity and humor. His name is Paul Augustine. You met Paul in the last episode.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin.

• 4:58Speaker 00

  As you can hear, he was a lot of fun. They hadn't spent much time together over the last year. Carl's ex never liked Paul. And during that time, Paul had been going through his own grief. His boyfriend died unexpectedly at the age of 33.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  I know it was a difficult time for him, too, because his boyfriend had passed away. And he was having a hard time of it himself.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  Paul's boyfriend also struggled with substance abuse.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  I think that shared experience of being two exes of individuals that have had significant alcohol problems, trying to make sense of a really traumatic fallout. Paul was there, you know? He was somebody I could lean on.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  So Carl and Paul reconnected. They started doing the same things they used to do. Going to the movie theater, catching Cubs games, and trying out new restaurants and bars.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  We'd go out for drinks and just, you know, it would be an innocent, fun, lighthearted time.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  Being together lessened the burden of what they were both going through. When Carl first met Paul nine years earlier, Paul friendzoned him right away. To Carl, it seemed to be because of his weight. Since then, Carl's body had changed significantly. He'd lost 150 pounds. And that summer of 2022, suddenly, Paul seemed interested. They hooked up a few times, but for Carl, it was empty.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  My heart was not there. I tried to assure him, like, hey, you know, this is no reflection about how I see us in terms of our friendship. I still care about you as a person. I still want to be your friend. And he's like, I understand. That's fine.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  He and Paul went back to being friends, as if nothing had changed. All the while, Carl kept dating.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  I was checking Facebook Dating, and I wasn't talking to anybody, but, you know, I'm still socializing. What the hell?

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Keeping your eye out.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Keeping my eye out.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  He decided to take a few days off to go see one of the Cubs' minor league baseball teams, the Iowa Cubs.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  So I was out in Des Moines. I was doing the vacation. I was enjoying myself.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  But after the trip...

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Even though I'd gone back to Kenosha, Facebook Dating still thought I was in Iowa for some reason. And I matched with Drew.

• 7:25Speaker 00

  Drew looked like someone Carl could get along with. He was unassuming with dark hair and glasses. Drew was a little bit younger than Carl, but he seemed mature, and there was just this lightness about him.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  In his photos, it was him in his sister's wedding, and it seemed like he had a solid family. And I saw that he loved baseball, and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna swipe right on this guy. He swiped right on me, and I don't think he was thinking much of it because we obviously live five hours apart from each other or whatever. It was just like, let's talk and see what happens kind of thing.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  He and this new guy Drew agreed to meet in the middle, in Madison, Wisconsin, a city Carl knew well.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  I showed him my favorite places when I lived there and just had a blast. He likes Harry Potter and Nintendo and definitely gives off a little bit of a dorky vibe. Admittedly, some of that was refreshing to be able to find another gay man that was willing to get into some of those things, too. And very quickly, I could tell I didn't just want casual with this guy.

• 8:35Speaker 00

  Immediately, Carl could tell Drew was relationship material. That summer, they spent weekends together, meeting halfway or going to each other's cities.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  It was amazing to just find a guy that was like, hey, I like you. Let's date. Let's build this thing. It was like, wow, I actually didn't have to chase somebody to get their approval. And everything about it just felt natural. I mean, like, this felt like it was coming home to somebody.

• 9:05Speaker 00

  One night in November 2022, Carl and Drew were just sitting in bed together when Drew asked to make it official.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  And I was like, yes, of course. Yes, I will be your boyfriend. I want to be your boyfriend.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  It was remarkable because it was unremarkable. And I don't say that like in a way that was like, this is a boring relationship or whatever. But like, I say this because it was like, wow, this was just amazing.

• 9:36Speaker 00

  Carl was moving forward. It seemed like everyone was. In February of 2023, he got word that Adam was released from prison. But Carl tried not to dwell on it. He just hoped that the drama for everyone was in the past. Not long after that, Drew decided to move to Kenosha to be closer to Carl.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  He could live on his own and have his own space and I could be in my own space and have my own time, but still be close enough for us to develop our relationship further.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  Carl helped him find an apartment. The day Drew moved to Kenosha was supposed to be a happy occasion for both of them, the start of a new chapter.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  But on that very day, something unsettling happened.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  We were getting a couch in the garage and that was just when I was looking down at my phone.

• 10:28Speaker 00

  He had a text from his best friend, Paul.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  And Paul was telling me he got a message on Grindr from Adam.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Carl's heart sank. He hadn't heard from his ex-boyfriend Adam since his first few months in jail. Carl thought their relationship was in the past.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  We'd gotten into it on the phone over his jail calls. He didn't want to talk to me anymore. I didn't want to talk to him. And at some point, we ceased contact. And I think for my own sanity, that was probably what was best.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  But now Adam was back and it looked like he had quite a lot to say. This was the very thing Carl had been worried about, except his ex wasn't reaching out to him directly. Adam had gone to his friend, Paul. Paul sent Carl the screenshots and there it was. Adam's Grindr profile picture above a long paragraph of text. Paul said he'd gotten this message out of the blue. We've had a voice actor read that first message.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  Just realize that Carl's attempts to lie to you or whatever dude he's involved with at this point in his life is so beyond ridiculous. To be honest, I don't know if that's you or someone else, but if he's with you, you should know that we have seen each other recently. I stopped following up on any type of plans with him because he's a pathological liar and a sex addict that switches up his boys on the daily.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  Carl stopped cold. He had no idea what Adam was talking about. He hadn't met up with Adam or even spoken to him recently. So what he'd written was completely false. It looked like Adam was just trying to create problems in Carl's life. But it was strange that Adam reached out to his best friend, Paul, a third party. Adam never liked Paul. He never even wanted to meet Paul. But as Carl kept reading, he realized why his ex was reaching out to Paul of all people.

• 12:22Speaker 04

  Being sober has given me the insight to see his true colors, see his lies for what they really are. I'm sure this is shitty for you to read, but you deserve to know the truth about who he is. Instead of blocking this after you read it, think about it and do yourself a favor and never say I didn't warn you or whatever boy he's using now. I never hated you, by the way. Just was suspicious about Carl cheating with you at the time. Never meant to attack you in the past. A lot has changed for me after being sober for the past year and a half.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  For a brief moment, Carl wondered if this was a prank, if this was just someone messing with him. But there was one line that made him certain this message was written by his ex-boyfriend Adam.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  How badly does Carl want this hat back? I could drop it off by you.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  The hat. When Adam moved out of the apartment they shared, some of Carl's things went missing, including a baseball hat that Carl loved. My producer Caitlin asked Carl about it. You'll hear her pop in throughout the series.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Spring training every year. I got my souvenirs. Those memories are very near and dear to me and the hats that I have and whatever. I would never give away that hat. And I was always wondering where that hat went. Somehow I had stumbled upon a picture of Adam with a friend of his where he was outdoors, like hiking or whatever, and I saw he was wearing it.

• 13:48Speaker 05

  And is this picture from after he's out of jail?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I looked at the picture and I'm like, that's where that hat went.

• 13:57Speaker 00

  The hat was such a specific detail from their breakup, something only Adam would know about. Clearly, he was using the hat as bait to make Carl interact with him, or so Carl thought. What stung the most about this message was hearing Adam's version of their breakup, one where Carl had cheated and lied. Carl knew that was a complete fabrication, but that was the kind of lie that could damage his reputation for good.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  I was thinking Adam is probably just acting out and this is what he's doing to get attention. He wants to start drama like he would always do.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  Carl didn't want to reach out to Adam directly, but they did still have a mutual friend. Carl told her about the messages.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  And showed her these screenshots and was like, look at what Adam's doing.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  Their friend went right to Adam and told him to knock it off.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  My friend actually confronted him and was like, Carl's moved on, like leave Carl alone. And Adam denied it.

• 15:04Speaker 00

  Adam told their friend, he never sent that message.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  He said, I've moved on. I'm working on my sobriety. I just started a new relationship myself. I moved up north. I just hope the best for Carl. I hope he's doing well, but I have not said anything bad about him.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  And that mutual friend got back to me with that and my immediate reaction was I don't believe any of this.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  After that, no one heard from Adam for a while. For Carl, the silence was welcome. His new boyfriend Drew had just moved to town. He was Carl's priority now. But about a month later, Adam resurfaced. This time, he texted Carl directly and his tone had shifted completely. This message was an apology.

• 15:54Speaker 04

  I have no animosity towards you. Substance abuse altered my judgment and temperament throughout everything and I'm definitely in a different state of mind now and taking responsibility for my own life. Part of that is acknowledging how horrible I was towards you.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  It didn't really seem anything but like an attempt to be conciliatory and be nice and establish some kind of cordial relationship at the very least.

• 16:21Speaker 00

  Adam texted him again, acknowledging the baseball hat he'd taken and offering to return it.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  I'll mail the hat if you want, since you probably don't want to see me ever again.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  It was a nice gesture, but then just a few days later, Adam was back to causing drama. Carl received another text.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  Your new boyfriend should know the truth about what you did to me, the lies, the cheating, all of it. Why is it okay for you to just move on and shove shit in my face and walk away?

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Honestly, I was dumbfounded.

• 16:55Speaker 00

  It was a complete mindfuck, emotional whiplash. Carl didn't know what to make of it. Over the course of that summer, texts from Adam kept coming in.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  You will have hell to pay and all I can wait for is the shitstorm that is about to wreak havoc on your life.

• 17:12Speaker 00

  Carl tried to ignore the texts. In fact, he blocked Adam, but his messages kept coming from new numbers. He'd blocked those too, but the next day, a new number would text him. The contents of the messages really got under Carl's skin, especially since the texts referenced specific moments from their relationship.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Remember when I sent you a Valentine, even when I was in fucking jail?

• 17:38Speaker 02

  He had somebody in jail make a Valentine card and was able to mail it to me.

• 17:45Speaker 04

  White Castle is still nasty as fuck.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  That was in reference to a time that Adam and I went to White Castle and we both hated it.

• 17:53Speaker 00

  The texts oscillated between bids for attention and searing criticism. And oftentimes, they would come back to the car accident.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  How hard was it to call me an Uber that night? Almost like you're glad that it went the way it did.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  I was immediately activated when I got that text because I mean, that was kind of validating that sense of guilt that I had built up. And there was definitely a lot of anxiety because I didn't know what he was going to do next. I didn't know what he was capable of.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  Then Carl got a call from his family. Carl has an uncle with intellectual disabilities. He lives with Carl's parents and needs a lot of support. It turned out that uncle had just received a disturbing text from an unknown number.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Your nephew Carl wishes you would stop being an embarrassment to him and the rest of the family. He says you bother him and thinks you're the dumbest person ever. His boyfriend Drew hates you too.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  My uncle was reading this off to me and I was angry. I was really mad because now you're bringing my uncle into this who has a mental disability that he has no control over. There was some time that needed to be spent for me to be able to explain to him like, I'm being harassed right now. I hope you know that this is not me and this does not reflect how I see you. I was extremely angry when I heard about that text message.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  It crossed another line, dragging a family member into the harassment, someone who couldn't defend himself. It showed just how low Adam was willing to go.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  I was thinking Adam is probably back to drinking right now.

• 19:39Speaker 00

  But the truth wasn't that simple. This was only the beginning of an orchestrated plot.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  I was outraged. I was like, what the fuck? What the absolute fuck? Like, who does he think he is doing this?

• 20:16Speaker 00

  If you've ever tried to find a psychiatrist who takes your insurance, you know how frustrating it can be. Long wait lists, no availability, or finding out they don't accept your insurance at all. That's why I'm excited to tell you about Talkiatry. Talkiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. Unlike therapy-only platforms, Talkiatry connects you with licensed medical providers who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. Their 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, and getting started is simple.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Just complete a short online assessment, get matched with a clinician who fits your needs, and you can schedule your first appointment in days, not months. Plus, you'll continue seeing the same provider, so your treatment can grow with you over time.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Head to talkiatry.com/betrayal to complete this short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/betrayal to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/betrayal. Talkiatry.com/betrayal.

• 21:37Speaker 00

  You need credit to buy, well, pretty much anything. So how do you get started? Easy, the OnePay Builder Card. It's simple and smart. OnePay is the banking app trusted by millions of Americans, and the OnePay Builder Card is an easy way to build credit. Just use it to make everyday purchases, build your credit history, and then you can work up to the big milestones: buying a new car or a new house. When you finally make that big purchase, like buying a house, it's such an incredible feeling of accomplishment. You know how much work and how many little steps went into getting there, so finally reaching that milestone just feels amazing. Those moments start with small, consistent steps with the OnePay Builder Card. Download the OnePay app or visit onepay.com for banking that gives you more for what matters.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  OnePay is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Coastal Community Bank or Lead Bank, members FDIC. Builder card results may vary and aren't guaranteed. Learn more about banking through OnePay at onepay.com/podcast.

• 22:36Speaker 00

  One thing I've learned from producing true crime these past few years is that life can change in an instant. Most people never expect to find themselves in a dangerous situation. They're heading home from work, walking the dog, meeting a friend, traveling alone, and they assume it's just another ordinary day, until it isn't.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  That's why I want you to know about Saber Red Smart Pepper Spray. Yes, it's designed to help protect you, but what makes it different is the connected app. If you're ever forced to use it in an emergency, it can alert your emergency contacts and share your location. So when every second matters, the people who care about you most aren't left wondering where you are. They're not left searching, they're not left guessing, they know where to start.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  We can't always predict the unexpected, but we can be prepared for it. Learn more at saberred.com/betrayal. That's saberred.com/betrayal.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  In the summer of 2023, Carl Bryan was beginning a new chapter. After months of long-distance dating, his boyfriend Drew moved to Kenosha to be with him, and Carl welcomed another member into his family: Lambo, a rescue dog from a local shelter. Now Carl and Drew were hanging out almost every night, cooking dinner, playing with Carl's dogs.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  I was riding a high for a while because I had what felt like a normal relationship. Drew's in the picture, and we're all gonna be a happy family.

• 24:11Speaker 00

  But on the very day Drew moved to Kenosha, Carl's ex-boyfriend reemerged.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  The timing was uncanny.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  It was supposed to be a happy new chapter for Carl. But that summer, the disturbing texts from Adam escalated.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  I'm trying to go into this hopeful new future with somebody else. Like, this is my life now. Leave me be, leave me alone. And it was like, are you kidding me? What a way to start the next phase of our relationship.

• 24:45Speaker 00

  At first, Carl tried to keep his new boyfriend Drew away from the drama. He even blocked Adam's number. But the texts kept coming, from new numbers. And other people in Carl's circle started getting messages, too. Increasingly, they were about Drew.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  Carl's boyfriend is hella fucking ugly, dude. He's so nasty-looking. Why would he pick someone so hideous?

• 25:10Speaker 00

  It was the kind of petty insult that made Carl roll his eyes. Earlier that summer, a mutual friend asked Adam to stop. Adam continued to deny he was behind the texts, but Carl didn't believe him. At the time, Carl was starting a PhD program, and his new boyfriend Drew got a job at a local convenience store called QuickTrip.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  We didn't really have a lot of money, but you know, we were making it work, and he was always over, and we were doing a couple things. It was awesome.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Then, on September 2, 2023, Carl got a text from a random number. This one felt different. It was way too close to home.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  Saw your new boyfriend at the Kenosha QuickTrip, laughing my ass off.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  And then later that day, Carl got another text.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  KCA 0124, better stay safe.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  Carl stared at the numbers and letters. It was Drew's license plate.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  It's entering our sense of safety. I was outraged. I was like, what the fuck? What the absolute fuck? Like, who does he think he is doing this?

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Suddenly, the threat felt much closer. Was Drew being followed? Stalked? Carl and Drew began scanning parking lots, checking their mirrors, wondering who might be watching.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  A few days later, Drew came home from work, looking like a different person. This wasn't the Drew that Carl was used to, the calm, happy guy. There were tears in his eyes. He was shaking.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Apparently, somebody had called the gas station, explaining they wanted to speak to a regional manager because one of their employees, Drew, he was apparently harassing kids, and the harassment was sexual in nature.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  These were kids who'd stopped by the store to get snacks and drinks after school. Drew was being accused of sexual misconduct with minors. He could lose his job, or worse. His boss and coworkers confronted him about the allegations.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  There was a couple of people that had sat down with Drew, was like, is this true? And of course, the answer was no.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  The online harassment was making its way into the real world. And now, Carl wasn't the only target. Adam was determined to make both his and Drew's lives a living hell. Drew's boss believed him and let him keep his job. But that day, something broke in Drew.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  The anxiety and the fear didn't just land for me anymore, it was also for him. It was honestly a turning point for Drew in that he was very much anxious, he was very much paranoid and just concerned about his safety in general.

• 28:04Speaker 00

  For Carl, it became harder and harder to think about anything else. It was always, when is the next bomb going to drop?

• 28:13Speaker 05

  What percentage of your brain, at this point, is focused on the harassment?

• 28:20Speaker 02

  75%, at least. I don't know how I was getting through the workday. I don't know how I was getting through anything.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  But Carl and Drew weren't the only targets. There was someone else who was now getting threatening messages: Carl's friend, Paul Augustine.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  Knowing that Paul was also being targeted was proof to me that it has to be Adam. Adam never trusted Paul, he didn't like Paul, so this was totally believable that Paul was also being targeted in the same way that everybody else was.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  You may recall that when Adam got out of prison, Paul was the one who got the message from him first. That message was a kind of warning, like, you should know who your friend Carl really is. Then, there were messages about the baseball hat.

• 29:13Speaker 04

  I'm fucking dead, dude. I wanted to give him the hat back, but I get blocked every time.

• 29:19Speaker 00

  But over time, the messages Paul received shifted in tone. They became more mean-spirited, criticizing his appearance, questioning why he would stay friends with Carl. Then Carl received this text from an unknown number.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  Your twink whore friend Paul should honestly be scared at this point. Warn him if you got the chance.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  This is no longer just some annoying message. This is clearly a threat. This is Adam clearly building a vendetta against me and my group of friends, and it was like, okay, we all really need to look out now.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  After this message and what happened to Drew at QuickTrip, Carl could no longer pretend that this was just some internet prank. The harassment had gone from annoying texts to threatening Drew's job to an ominous threat against Paul. And worst was coming. It was time to get law enforcement involved. Because Adam had recently been released from prison, he was still on probation. So Carl reached out to the Department of Corrections.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  They referred me to his probation officer and I explained that I was getting these text messages. Drew and my friend Paul were getting these text messages and I wanted it to stop.

• 30:39Speaker 00

  The probation officer agreed to put a no contact order in place. And yet, just days later.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  You don't deserve a boyfriend. You are selfish. You are abusive. I can't stand you and you do not deserve happiness. I promise you that it won't last much longer.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  Carl fortified his home with cameras. Every night, he triple-checked the locks on his doors. But that still wasn't enough to make him feel secure. The texts didn't stop. So Carl filed an official complaint with the Kenosha County Sheriff's Office. After that, nothing changed. There were now days he was getting about two dozen calls from random numbers. That's when Carl decided to take another step.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  I had approached Drew about this idea of a restraining order and I was like, we have to do something. We went over to the Clerk of Courts and we filled out that paperwork.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  Carl finally understood that the harassment would never stop on its own. And on September 11th of 2023.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  We were granted the temporary restraining order. Adam was served with the paperwork and then we were going to have a hearing in two weeks.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  A temporary restraining order is a short-term thing, used to provide protection in urgent cases. It's only in place until a judge can hold an official hearing and weigh both sides. In Carl's case, the hearing was scheduled for two weeks' time.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Carl's best friend Paul wholeheartedly supported his decision to file for a restraining order. As a joke, he sent Carl one of his famous voice memos. In it, he fantasized about what it would be like to testify against Adam at the restraining order hearing.

• 32:34Speaker 06

  So, Your Honor, is that okay if I... Can I speak? All right, perfect. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I would say that a lot of the behavior really just points back to substance abuse, if you think about it. I think that some form of facility is probably the best route to take, whether that's jail or whether it's some rehabilitation of some sort or a camp. I'm not entirely sure, but food for thought.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  At the time, this voice memo made Carl laugh. It was just Paul being Paul, bringing the levity in the darkest of situations. Carl needed that. After Carl filed the restraining order, Kenosha sheriffs looked more deeply into the case. Try as they might, they found nothing to tie Adam, Carl's ex-boyfriend, to the harassment. There was only circumstantial evidence, like the Cubs hat. But there wasn't enough to charge Adam.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  I was even more outraged because it was like, how can you tell me I don't have enough to prove that this is Adam? That none of these numbers can exactly be traced to him, yet all the text messages I got up to this point were fully acknowledging my past relationship with him.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  Without more proof, Carl and Drew realized their chances of getting a restraining order were slim.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  It'd be a waste of time. It was going to be a waste of money. There was no other choice than to just drop it and keep going through the process and continuing to report what we were getting.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  The day after the restraining order was dropped, Carl received a message gloating about it.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  Good choice, forgetting about things. Because, you know, it'd just be a loss before even getting started. Are you ready for it? Calls and texts are fun, but wait until it hits the fan, you piece of shit.

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Carl was frustrated. Here was another threat, another piece of evidence that Adam wasn't going to stop. On top of that, Adam was on probation. And still, the cops wouldn't do anything.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  I knew what was going on around me, but like, these systems that I was relying upon to get the bad guy and to stop the harassment from happening couldn't be reliable.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  What Carl didn't know is that there was a reason the sheriff's department couldn't find evidence on Adam. There was something else, something much darker going on. And things were about to escalate even further. Ms. DeFats, Unit 422? Hi, I was just wondering if I could have us leave property clerk out to my address? Your first name? Carl. And your last name, Carl? Brian.

• 35:39Speaker 00

  Okay, so buying a new car or new home starts by building credit, right? So how do you start building credit? Easy, with OnePay's Builder Card. There's no credit check and no monthly or annual fees. Just a card that helps you build credit to reach goals like buying a car or a home. When you finally make that big purchase, like buying a house, it's such an incredible feeling of accomplishment. You know how much work and how many little steps went into getting there. So finally reaching that milestone just feels amazing. Download the OnePay app or visit onepay.com for banking that gives you more for what matters.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  OnePay is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Coastal Community Bank or Lead Bank, members FDIC. Builder Card results may vary and aren't guaranteed. Learn more about banking through OnePay at onepay.com/podcast.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  One thing I've learned from producing true crime these past few years is that life can change in an instant. Most people never expect to find themselves in a dangerous situation. They're heading home from work, walking the dog, meeting a friend, traveling alone, and they assume it's just another ordinary day, until it isn't. That's why I want you to know about Saber Smart Pepper Spray. Yes, it's designed to help protect you, but what makes it different is the connected app. If you're ever forced to use it in an emergency, it can alert your emergency contacts and share your location. So when every second matters, the people who care about you most aren't left wondering where you are. They're not left searching. They're not left guessing. They know where to start.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  We can't always predict the unexpected, but we can be prepared for it. Learn more at saberred.com/betrail. That's saberred.com/betrail.

• 37:31Speaker 00

  Sheriffs couldn't find hard evidence linking Adam to the harassment. So Carl dropped his restraining order. But he was frustrated with how long the investigation was taking.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  I wanted Adam arrested. I wanted him arrested. I want this to be done, you know? Because at this point, there was no other option other than to see him behind bars again, because clearly this is not a stable person.

• 37:57Speaker 00

  The sheriffs assured Carl they were actively investigating. So Carl kept reporting incidents to law enforcement as they happened.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  It was now late September 2023, four months since everything started. One afternoon, Carl and Drew went to a beer garden to unwind.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  We're just relaxing and I think at one point Drew needed to get back to my house for something. And I checked my phone and saw that I got a voicemail from a different number.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Hi, this is Noah from Floyd Sowing. I'm here to tow the Hyundai Sonata.

• 38:34Speaker 00

  The Hyundai Sonata. Was Drew's car and it was parked at Carl's house. According to the tow truck driver, Carl had called them, asking for Drew's car to be towed. The driver had his name and his number.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  And I'm like, what the fuck? So I called Drew right away. And I won't forget this phone call because I said, Drew, a tow truck is coming to the house right now. You need to get ready and tell them it's not you. Somehow my number is being impersonated. He's like, what? And just as I'm having the phone conversation with him, he's looking outside the window and here comes the tow truck.

• 39:13Speaker 00

  Drew ran out into the driveway. He told the tow truck driver that it was a fake call.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  And then the tow truck takes off.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  Carl rushed back to his apartment. He found Drew on the couch, visibly shaken.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Drew just sits with me for a minute or two and he's just like in complete silence, breathing very heavily and trying to calm himself down. And I'm just seething. I'm like, what the fuck do we do? I'm scared. I don't know what's going on right now. It all sounds fucking crazy.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  Someone was now pretending to be Carl. He didn't understand how that was possible. So he started doing some research of his own. And he found out there's a term for this kind of harassment. It's called spoofing.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  I'm being targeted by spoof calls. I'm being targeted by spoof texts.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  Spoofing is a common tool in scams, fraud schemes and harassment campaigns. Someone disguises their real number and makes it appear as though a call or text is coming from a different caller. They could use a random phone number or they could make it look like they were calling as someone specific. That's how the towing company received a call that looked like it was from Carl himself. Over the next few months, these spoof calls became a part of Carl's everyday life. He started receiving calls from other tow truck companies, locksmiths, heating and cooling technicians, plumbers.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  I'm talking like the emergency vet. I'm talking about a limo service. I'm talking about a carpet company was somewhere in there. Just about anybody that you could possibly think of. These people are coming to the door and they're probably like, what the hell is going on here? And we're not talking like corporate people. We're talking about small, local, mom and pop owned businesses with very limited means, traveling all of that way to come to Kenosha to respond to a service request. It was happening all the time, all hours of the night. End of the morning, I would get waken up and it was so nerve wracking. There was one day in particular, there was probably three people that showed up and

• 41:30Speaker 02

  it was so exhausting that I literally had a sign on my door now that said, if you're a plumber, if you're a tow truck, if you're a locksmith, I am being impersonated. If I need services, I'll call from a different number. Sorry for the inconvenience. It is enough to make anybody go crazy. I mean, it is enough to make anybody sick.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  The constant harassment impacted Carl's relationship with Drew. They were both on edge.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Bless Drew for his role in all of this because like he didn't have to stay at all. He wanted to be there to support me, like he loved me, you know? But it was helpless for him too, because it's like he himself had no answers. The only thing he could possibly offer was just to be another person there for me. And it was comforting, at least to that degree, but like in many ways, it was hard for us to really like develop our relationship further because survival was at the top of my mind at all times.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  Carl self-medicated to deal with the stress.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  I was drinking heavily and making an ass of myself everywhere we went. There was one night he peeled me off the floor because I was drunk and I'd fallen over and hit my head on the air conditioner and was laying down on the floor and he had to pick me up when he got home from work.

• 42:50Speaker 05

  He came home to find you on the floor?

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. If I wasn't constantly hungover, I was drinking to kill the hangover and you know, I was just going through the entire day. And that definitely had a strain on our relationship.

• 43:06Speaker 00

  Carl became more reliant on alcohol. He couldn't find peace. He was a spectator in his own life, spinning out of control. His best friend, Paul, was there for him through it all as a shoulder to cry on. Carl felt grateful to have a confidant like Paul.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  I had somebody that I could lean on because he was experiencing what I was experiencing. He knew exactly how it felt to get a text message that was threatening in nature, to get blown up with spoof calls. It was somebody that I could feel safe with as nobody else in the world really could relate to what it was that I was going through.

• 43:52Speaker 00

  Despite battling all of this, Carl and Drew made it to a year of being together on November 4th, 2023. A pretty amazing milestone, all things considered.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  We decided we are gonna take a drive to Chicago to celebrate our anniversary.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  Sure enough, their night out was interrupted.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Hi, this is Kerry, Patriot Towing. I'm here to pick up your car.

• 44:17Speaker 00

  Once again, a towing company said they received a call from a Carl Bryan. This was the 19th spoofed service call he received in the span of about a month.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  What a way for us to spend our one year anniversary by dealing with this headache of a tow truck.

• 44:33Speaker 00

  But the night wasn't over. By now, Carl was spending most nights at Drew's apartment.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  The only thing I could really do to like, keep myself sane was try to remove myself from my house as much as possible, just like on the off chance of some random service provider showed up.

• 44:51Speaker 00

  So after dealing with the tow truck, they settled in at Drew's for the night.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  Turned off my phone. The dogs were in bed with me and Drew and just went to bed and that was probably the first normal sleep in a long time.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  But in the morning, when he turned on his phone.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  I see all these voicemails from the sheriff's department. And I'm like, what?

• 45:12Speaker 00

  Carl also saw that he had an alert from his security camera app. There was activity recorded the night before. He hit play and he could see sheriffs at his front door.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  They have the flashlights open and they're checking in the windows and they're knocking on the door and they're ringing the bell. And I'm like, what is going on?

• 45:32Speaker 00

  Carl slept at Drew's place that night, which is why he didn't hear the police banging on his door. So Carl arrived in the sheriff's department. They said that just after midnight, they received a concerning call for service from Carl's phone number.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  They said that apparently Drew was abusing my dogs. And I'm like, what? The dogs are with us. They are well taken care of, you know? And I said, that's not the truth. I haven't even been home. Do you have audio of this phone call? Unit 422? Hi, I was just wondering if I could have a police officer out to my address. My boyfriend was like caught hitting my dog and we just kind of got into like a little dispute. And then what is your address? Um, place. And then your first name? Carl. And your last name, Carl? Uh, Brian. All right.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  And then exactly what happened earlier today? I just witnessed my boyfriend hitting my dog and like smacking him. And I told him to stop and then it kind of just got into like a little argument between us and I wanted him to leave, but he wanted. Okay. Kind of scared, like I don't know if he's gonna do it again or not. Yeah, no, absolutely. All right. And it was only verbal, not physical at all between you two? Between us, yeah, just verbal. Okay. Is he still there right now? Yes, he is. Okay. What's your boyfriend's name? Andrew Condon. Okay. We'll get somebody out there to take a report and kind of see what's going on, okay? Okay, thank you so much. Yes, you're welcome. It was deeply concerning to me.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Not only was my phone number being used to call tow trucks and all of that, but now also police dispatch. Like who knows what the hell the caller is going to be capable of at this point? Like what kind of calls they're going to be making?

• 47:28Speaker 00

  Carl was at a loss about what to do next. In his time of need, he found himself relying more and more on his best friend, Paul.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  We were communicating just about every day, multiple times a day. More often than not, the conversations would center on what we could do to get ahead of whatever harassment it was that we were experiencing, just to try to feel some semblance of safety.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  Although Paul was also a target of the harassment, he was there for Carl and he warned Carl, phony calls to police could go very wrong.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  When I was talking to Paul about this, you know, he's telling me like, I've heard stories about fake bomb threats and people getting killed over them. And of course, immediately I'm like, oh my God, like, is this going to happen to me? Is there going to be a fake bomb threat placed in my name? And is it going to result in somebody getting killed? I am scared out of my mind.

• 48:25Speaker 00

  It felt like the threat of Adam was everywhere. Carl and his whole community felt like they were under attack. Carl couldn't see how this would end. And then the next message arrived. It was sent to Paul.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Someone's not going to make it out of this alive. And if you're stupid and show them this message, it just might be you.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  He called me up, very shaken, crying on the phone and fearing for his own safety. And when I heard him upset, it did deeply affect me.

• 49:04Speaker 00

  This was a direct threat. Carl was terrified. Every new attack seemed to make the case against Adam stronger. And it was clear, no one around Carl was safe. But here's the thing. The timing of the harassment, the number of texts, the threatening tone, were almost too perfect. But it would be months before Carl learned the truth. That the person behind it all wasn't his ex-boyfriend Adam. It was his best friend and confidant of 10 years. Paul Augustine.

• 49:39Speaker 06

  I knew Adam was getting out of jail, so I wanted to pose as Adam. Because it was an easy scapegoat.

• 49:52Speaker 00

  On the next episode of Betrayal.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  We just got a call from a party at [BLEEP] place. And he said someone there had a knife and that he was in the bathroom. And this person had like, it sounded like a real deep voice. And I think his name is Carl Bryan.

• 50:15Speaker 00

  If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at [email protected]. That is [email protected]. Or follow us on Instagram at BetrayalPod or me at It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review. Five star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show was executive produced by Nancy Glass, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Carrie Hartman and Caitlin Golden. Our story editor is Monique LaBord, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our production manager is Kristen Mulcory. Our associate producer is Leah Jablow. Additional support by Curry Richmond and Olivia Hewitt. Our iHeart team is Ally Perry and Jessica Krychek. Audio editing and voice acting by Tanner Robbins. Mixing and mastering by Matt Del Vecchio. And special thanks to Carl Bryan, Adam Mejia, Matt Rolsey, and their communities. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines.

• 51:39Speaker 00

  Music library provided by MyB Music. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  What if you could save up for that new car or vacation just by buying the stuff you're already buying? With the OnePay banking app, you earn 3% cash back on up to $150 in monthly spending in categories you choose. So it's easy to save. For me, I love to save up for a really nice vacation and maybe put some money aside for a new car. It's always nice having something to look forward to and knowing you're actually making progress towards those bigger goals feels really good. So what are you saving for? Download the OnePay app or visit onepay.com for banking that gives you more for what matters.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  OnePay is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Coastal Community Bank or Lead Bank, members FDIC. Cash back is earned as points. Go to onepay.com/rewards/terms for redemption options and additional details. Cash flow crunch? OnDeck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds, up to $200,000, right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Sprained wrist, ankle twist, broken thumb can't make a fist, busted knee, surgery, that patch of ice you didn't see. Where pain starts, Gernavix Zuzetragine begins. Gernavix is a non-opioid 50-milligram prescription tablet for adults with moderate to severe acute pain that reduces pain signals before they reach the brain.

• 53:34Speaker 06

  Tendon tear, nose repair, tripping on that broken stair, dislocation, operation, moped crash while on vacation.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  Do not take Gernavix with CYP3A inhibitors. Avoid use with grapefruit or liver problems, as these may increase side effects. Tell your doctor about all your medicines if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. Gernavix may make certain medicines and birth control less effective. Side effects include itching, muscle spasms, rash, and elevated muscle enzymes. Joint displacement, knee replacement, fell on marbles in the basement, ladder slip, broken hip, that rock climb where you lost your grip. To learn more about Gernavix, ask your doctor, call 1-833-589-PAIN or visit gernavix.com. In business, there's the easy way with Staples or the hard way. Hard means... Hey, did you proof the signs before having them printed? I think so. Because we're having a clearance sale, not a Clarence sale. Oh, big difference.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  Easy means professional-looking prints every time. Don't choose hard, choose Staples. And now at Staples, get 25% back in points on all custom prints. That was easy. Shop Staples online, in-store, or in the app. Ends 10/31, limit $250 and earn points. $100 minimum purchase. Exclusions apply. See app for details.

• 54:45Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.