Hazel | Betrayal Weekly

In the aftermath of a painful divorce, Hazel finds comfort in an unexpected connection. But as their relationship deepens, strange coincidences start to pile up. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal team by emailing us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. You can also find us on Instagram at @betrayalpod https://www.instagram.com/betrayalpod/ and @glasspodcasts https://www.instagram.com/glasspodcasts/. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. If you are currently in crisis, please reach out to organizations that offer immediate support. We are including a few US-based resources here: 988 Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/ If you or someone you know is in crisis or need to talk to someone immediately, please call or text 988 – the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline available 24/7/365. National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence. They offer 24/7 phone and chat support to help you create a personalized safety plan and connect you with local support. For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org/betrayal. You can also get free, confidential, 24/7 support through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE. Every state has a domestic violence coalition. If you’re looking for help in the US, search the web for your state’s domestic violence coalition. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 2:58Speaker 06

  You've got to arrest him because I don't know where this is going to end.

• 3:03Speaker 06

  He's a liar. He's a manipulator. And he's an abuser, and I don't think he'll stop unless he's made to stop.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Today, we're sharing Hazel's story. She feels more comfortable telling her story with a pseudonym, but the rest of the names and details in this story are unchanged. Hazel lives in a small town in the UK.

• 3:47Speaker 06

  It's a village with two shops. And there's not really a lot there, to be honest.

• 3:53Speaker 00

  Hazel married her husband Mikey when she was 18. In her early 20s, she started studying to be a social worker.

• 4:00Speaker 06

  I started college and working a lot, so I wasn't really home. And I think Mikey's reaction to that was he was at home bored, so he'd have a drink.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  Mikey's drinking turned from a habit to an addiction.

• 4:15Speaker 06

  It was awful. It was awful. He couldn't keep a job because, obviously, being alcohol dependent. So that put more pressure on me, having to pay the bills, make sure that you've got enough money.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  Hazel was working hard to build a full life. She had big dreams. But over time, it became clear that Mikey couldn't grow with her.

• 4:37Speaker 06

  I wanted to better myself and get a better career and do something meaningful. And he was kind of stuck.

• 4:47Speaker 00

  Mikey's struggle with addiction changed him. He began lashing out at Hazel. He'd tell her that he wasn't drinking. But she started to see that he was just hiding it.

• 4:57Speaker 06

  When I'd come down in the morning, he'd have made me a coffee. And he'd have one himself, and there would be vodka in his coffee. My anxiety was through the roof. It was just horrendous.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  Hazel realized she couldn't trust him anymore.

• 5:13Speaker 06

  We tried to save our marriage, but it just got worse over the next couple of years. Things weren't good.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Eventually, it was clear that Mikey needed professional support. And Hazel needed a supportive partner. And neither of them could be that for each other.

• 5:33Speaker 06

  It just got out of control.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  She and Mikey decided to divorce. The day he left, Hazel helped him pack up his things. Finally, she grabbed the last box and put it in his car. When she opened the trunk...

• 5:48Speaker 06

  It was filled with empty bottles of vodka, whiskey.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Then, Mikey drove away. That's how Hazel found herself living alone for the first time as an adult. Well, almost alone.

• 6:06Speaker 06

  I had a dog called Rico. He was my little rescue dog. He rescued me as much as I rescued him. I call him my soul dog.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  She was learning how to do a lot of things on her own. Just a few days after Mikey moved out, Hazel went to take a shower and discovered the water was freezing cold.

• 6:26Speaker 06

  I had no hot water. So I had to ring this company up and say, "You've not had my hot water. I don't have any hot water." So they said, "We'll send somebody out the next day."

• 6:37Speaker 00

  Sure enough, the next morning, she heard a knock on her door. It was a repairman from the gas company.

• 6:44Speaker 06

  He was very tall, but didn't think anything of him. Just a gas man.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  He got to work on the hot water heater. Hazel went back to the living room where she was hanging out with her best friend.

• 6:57Speaker 06

  We'd known each other since playgroup, you know, really, really close. So she, of course, was the person I rang when I'd realised that, yeah, that's it. Marriage is over. I was on the floor. I was at my most vulnerable, 100%.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  It was a relief to have her best friend there to listen.

• 7:15Speaker 06

  I was talking about Mikey and his alcohol dependency and the lies and just that I couldn't do it anymore.

• 7:25Speaker 00

  Eventually, the repairman finished fixing the boiler. He popped his head into the living room, told Hazel he was done, and left.

• 7:33Speaker 06

  So my hot water was fixed. My friend had left. Didn't really fancy being in the house on my own. So I went over to my mum's, just trying to keep myself busy.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  She was at her mum's, sitting on the couch, doing the same thing she'd been doing for days.

• 7:51Speaker 06

  I sat thinking about, you know, the end of my marriage.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  Then her phone buzzed.

• 7:58Speaker 06

  I got a text message from a number that I didn't know. Said it's Mark, the gas engineer. Can I just ask, did I leave my laptop case at your house? I told him I'd have a look. And when I got home, there was no laptop case. So I messaged him and said, oh, you know, it's not here. Maybe you left it at another job.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  Then he texted an emoji.

• 8:21Speaker 06

  He put one of those kiss face emojis, the little emojis with the little blowing out heart. And then he apologised for sending the emoji. He said it was an accident. And I said it was okay, I didn't mind. And then he sent another one.

• 8:36Speaker 00

  That made her laugh.

• 8:38Speaker 06

  Seeing that little emoji made me feel a little bit like, oh, okay.

• 8:45Speaker 06

  We just started texting, we just started talking, just general things.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  Mark's texts were a welcomed distraction.

• 8:53Speaker 06

  I didn't have to think about my marriage ending, I didn't have to think about all the stress that that brought on.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  They started flirting and bantering over text.

• 9:03Speaker 06

  And it made me feel good, it made me feel, oh my god, you know, somebody could actually care about me.

• 9:09Speaker 00

  They started talking on the phone sometimes too. After a couple of weeks.

• 9:14Speaker 06

  He messaged and said, oh, I've got a job around the corner, can I pop in for a coffee? And I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, sure, come over.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  Ten minutes later, she heard a knock on her door. When she opened it, Mark was standing in front of her smiling. They'd been flirting for weeks, and now in person, she clearly felt the chemistry.

• 9:37Speaker 06

  The first thing he did was put me up against the wall and kiss me, which of course blew me off my feet, like, oh my gosh, I've never had that before.

• 9:48Speaker 00

  Hazel was nervous that hanging out in person might turn out to be an awkward endeavor. But to her surprise.

• 9:56Speaker 06

  We got on, we laughed, and it was nice. There was no awkward silences. If there was a silence, it was comfortable.

• 10:05Speaker 00

  After that day, they started hanging out more often.

• 10:09Speaker 06

  He would come and see me whilst I was working nights, whilst I was studying, he was making me laugh.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  She had spent years in her marriage taking care of her ex-husband. Mark was a breath of fresh air.

• 10:23Speaker 06

  It was different with Mark, it was so much affection. We said it was a passion that neither of us had felt before.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Mark made her feel sexy and wanted. Before long, they started dating officially. When Mark got off work, he would go to Hazel's place, and they would spend their evenings together. Mark made even mundane things feel exciting.

• 10:47Speaker 06

  Mark was stupid funny. He would make a twat out of himself and you would just be laughing at him rather than with him. He'd start doing really silly dances around the house. If a song came on, he'd start stripping his clothes off. And I'm just sat there like, what are you doing? But it was really funny. And we just got on. It just felt so natural. And that laughter got me through.

• 11:16Speaker 00

  Mark texted Hazel all the time. He didn't hide his feelings for her.

• 11:21Speaker 06

  He would draw hearts on his phone and tell me how beautiful I was. He would send a message and he would say, "I L and then dash, dash, dash you." And I was like, well, is that like or is that love? Obviously, it was love.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  When he wasn't around, she missed him.

• 11:43Speaker 06

  There was passion there that I'd never felt before. And it felt really nice. It felt wonderful.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  She finally found someone that could meet her halfway.

• 11:57Speaker 06

  He had a stable job with a big company. The pension was really good. And obviously, I was training to be a social worker.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  As time went on, Hazel started imagining what life with Mark could look like.

• 12:12Speaker 06

  I thought that this is great. Neither of us have got children. We could have two good incomes. He's got a stable job. He's funny. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel good about myself. There's a future here.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  Hazel's friends were worried about how fast their relationship was moving.

• 12:31Speaker 06

  One of my friends, Vicky, said, "It's too quick. It's too fast." She said it would be a headline in the newspapers. Murdered by the gas man, you know, jokingly.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  But Hazel wasn't amused.

• 12:45Speaker 06

  Come on. Sometimes things happen like this, you know?

• 12:48Speaker 00

  It was a bit extreme, but her friend was suspicious. And she had a good reason to be worried.

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• 13:44Speaker 07

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• 13:57Speaker 00

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• 14:32Speaker 07

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• 14:48Speaker 00

  A few days after Hazel's husband moved out, she called the gas company to fix her hot water. That led to a meet cute with a man named Mark. After weeks of flirting over text, their relationship developed into something real. They began hanging out whenever they could find time.

• 15:05Speaker 06

  I thought that this is great. He's got a stable job. He's funny. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel good about myself. There's a future here.

• 15:14Speaker 00

  The only complication was that he lived 30 minutes away. But luckily, he was often in her town for work. They would make a date of it.

• 15:23Speaker 06

  I would cook for him. He would come over. He made me feel good about myself, telling me how beautiful I was and how wonderful I was and how we were perfect for each other.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  At the time, Hazel was still in school, training to be a social worker. Her schedule was packed. It helped that Mark was always willing to make the drive to her place.

• 15:47Speaker 06

  I was so busy. I was studying, working. So it just worked. It just fitted.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  But Mark had to work early mornings, so he rarely spent the night.

• 15:59Speaker 06

  There was one day, for some reason, I think I needed to go and get something from the shops. It was about half six. So I was driving to the shop, and I saw Mark walking his dog in my area.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  This was weird. Why would Mark be walking his dog so far from his own house?

• 16:19Speaker 06

  And I stopped the car. And I was like, what are you doing around here? And he said, oh, oh, my uncle lives around the corner, so sometimes I'll bring the dog over and walk the dog around here. It's got a really nice dog walk-in field. That, oh, OK. A bit weird, but all right.

• 16:38Speaker 00

  He'd never mentioned he had family in her area, but that made things even more convenient. A few days later, Mark came over to Hazel's house. She went outside and greeted him as he got out of his truck. As she hugged him, her eyes landed on the front seat.

• 16:54Speaker 06

  I saw an Amazon parcel with an address on it, two roads from where I live.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  Mark lived a half hour away. Why would he have a package addressed to a home in her neighborhood?

• 17:08Speaker 06

  I thought, maybe he'd just got it delivered to his uncle's house. Maybe that was easier for him. I don't know.

• 17:15Speaker 00

  She made a mental note of the address. Hazel and Mark had been dating for months. They'd become a part of each other's daily lives. Many nights after work, they'd walk her dog Rico together. Mark loved Rico as much as she did. And when they weren't together, they'd text it and called each other constantly.

• 17:34Speaker 06

  Talking on the phone all the time, texting all the time. If we ran out of things to say, we would just send hearts to each other. And we'd play games and things on Snapchat. It was easy.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  For the first time in a long time, Hazel felt settled in her life. She decided to buy the house she'd been renting for the past few years. And she started to consider asking Mark to take a big step with her.

• 18:02Speaker 06

  I thought about moving in here, living together, having a stable relationship, which I hadn't had in such a long time.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  One day Hazel went on a hike with one of her friends.

• 18:14Speaker 06

  We went to a place, it's called Simons Yacht, and it's a big lake, big forest. And we walked around the woods, such a beautiful place.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  After a few hours of hiking and catching up, they headed home. On their drive back, she spotted what looked like Mark's work van.

• 18:35Speaker 06

  He was parked on the side of the road.

• 18:37Speaker 00

  Hazel did a double take. What was Mark doing out here? Maybe it wasn't him, but as they drove closer, she was sure it was Mark.

• 18:48Speaker 06

  And he was out of his van and he was looking in his van. And we just carried on driving.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  Over the next few weeks Hazel started seeing Mark's work van more and more. When she asked him about it, he said he had a lot of repairs in the area. But how many boilers could be broken on her street?

• 19:10Speaker 06

  I felt really uneasy after he said that. But I thought, no, it's fine. It's fine.

• 19:18Speaker 00

  One weekend, Mark told Hazel he was going on a trip.

• 19:22Speaker 06

  He was going to his friend's house that was in the middle of nowhere. And he was spending all weekend there. And he was repiping the whole house. So he wasn't able to talk to me. So I was like, that's fine. There's no problem.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  She knew he couldn't talk while he was at his friend's house. But she figured his drive there would be a great time to catch up.

• 19:49Speaker 06

  So I was like, I'll ring him on the way.

• 19:53Speaker 00

  She called Mark. Usually, he picked up right away. But this time, it went to voicemail.

• 20:00Speaker 06

  He didn't answer. So I thought, okay, something's not right. He always answers the phone. The phone has rung, so he's got a signal.

• 20:10Speaker 00

  Hazel had a bad feeling. She thought back to the Amazon package on his front seat. It was addressed to a street just around the corner.

• 20:19Speaker 06

  So I thought, right, I'm gonna get in my car. And I'm gonna drive down that road.

• 20:24Speaker 00

  She drove down the road, scanning each driveway nervously. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, or if she'd find anything. After a few minutes, she saw something that made her hit the brakes.

• 20:38Speaker 06

  I saw his van parked on the drive.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  She drove closer, and sure enough, it was his license plate.

• 20:46Speaker 06

  We're talking two minutes. Two-minute drive from my house.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  He said he was with a friend far away in the countryside with no phone service. But his car was parked right down the street from her. She texted Mark and told him she saw his van parked in the neighborhood.

• 21:05Speaker 06

  He then went into kind of panic mode. He told me that he'd gone up the road to find some signal to ring me.

• 21:13Speaker 00

  Mark insisted that he was visiting his friend, that he was miles away.

• 21:17Speaker 06

  He's like, I'll send you my location.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  He sent her a screenshot of a map.

• 21:21Speaker 06

  He'd gone on to Google Maps, and he'd sent me a screenshot. And it was a little dot in the middle of nowhere.

• 21:31Speaker 00

  For a second, it did look like Mark was in the countryside. A small dot surrounded by big green fields. But as Hazel looked closer at the screenshot, she noticed something was off.

• 21:43Speaker 06

  He'd cropped out the time and the date. I said, I'm not stupid. I know you're not there right now. If you were there right now, you wouldn't have cropped out the time. He carried on making up more lies, telling me I'm being paranoid. Everything was in my head.

• 22:02Speaker 00

  But Hazel was staring straight at his van. She was certain this was real. Whenever Mark came to Hazel's, he parked on the street. But here, at this house, he was parked in the driveway. Did Mark live here? It all felt suspicious. And he was clearly lying to her.

• 22:22Speaker 06

  This is it. I can't be in another relationship where there's dishonesty. Once the trust is gone, the trust is gone. You can't get it back. I said, "I'm done. I'm done. It's over. I can't do this anymore."

• 22:37Speaker 00

  As soon as she said that, Mark's tone shifted. He responded right away and began telling Hazel that this was all her fault.

• 22:46Speaker 06

  It's all because of my ex-husband, why I'm so broken. I don't deserve him. Really, just horrible, horrible messages.

• 22:55Speaker 00

  No matter what he said to her, Hazel knew what she'd seen. He was lying. And she'd caught him in the act. That's when Mark stopped pretending. He admitted that he lived in that house, just two minutes away from her.

• 23:12Speaker 06

  I drove past his house every day.

• 23:14Speaker 00

  At this point, Mark knew all his lies were unraveling. So he admitted the full truth.

• 23:22Speaker 06

  He then told me about his girlfriend and his daughter. I was in a state of shock.

• 23:31Speaker 00

  Lying about where he lived was one thing. But this was so much darker than that. Mark was lying about his entire life.

• 23:40Speaker 06

  He lives in the same area as me, and he's been lying from day one.

• 23:45Speaker 00

  Hazel was disgusted.

• 23:47Speaker 06

  But then, reflecting on it, it all makes sense. Never spent the night. You know, I thought it was because it fitted in with me and it fitted in with my work really well. But actually, yeah, it made sense. And why on earth did I not clock on to, yeah, there's probably somebody else?

• 24:06Speaker 00

  Mark was grasping at straws, trying to get her back. He told her he would leave his family for her. And when she said she didn't want that...

• 24:15Speaker 06

  Trying to blame me made me think it was all in my head. You know, real gaslighting, horrible behavior.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  Mark was being cruel in a way she had never experienced before.

• 24:27Speaker 06

  And I was like, "I'm done. Get your stuff. Get out of my house. I don't want you anywhere near me."

• 24:33Speaker 00

  At the time, Hazel was working at a women's centre, where she was training to be a social worker.

• 24:39Speaker 06

  Which was the perfect place for me to be going through all this because I had on-hand support. And they advised me to not block people. Don't block people like that. Because if they don't have a channel of communication, that's when they start turning up. And then obviously you're at bigger risk. So I didn't block him.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  Mark was messaging her incessantly, berating her, trying everything to get her attention.

• 25:07Speaker 06

  It was horrendous. It brought back so many feelings that I'd kind of buried from my relationship with my husband. I felt all the anxiety was coming back. Mistrust. I felt sick. I couldn't eat. I lost so much weight.

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Mark was getting increasingly agitated and desperate. Then she got an alarming message from him.

• 25:34Speaker 06

  Saying that he'd had a heart attack and was in hospital and that he'd almost died. And I thought, oh my God, have I done this? I felt awful.

• 25:49Speaker 06

  I messaged him back and said, you know, you're going to be OK. You're in the right place.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Mark responded right away. He told her that he was about to go in for heart surgery.

• 25:58Speaker 06

  He was texting me from his hospital bed, saying that he was being pushed towards theatre and that he could see the lights above his head because he was led flat. That's all he was trying to focus on.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  Hazel's concern melted away and was replaced by skepticism.

• 26:19Speaker 06

  I've had enough operations in my life to know you don't take your phone to an operation theatre. All your belongings get bagged up and they get put safely away somewhere. So I was like, come on. At this point, I'm just like, this is bullshit. This isn't true.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  When Hazel ignored Mark's texts, she started getting harassing, coercive messages from unknown numbers.

• 26:48Speaker 06

  I then got messages on Facebook, Signal and iMessages pleading, apologizing.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  When she first met Mark, she thought he was her ticket out of a dark period of her life. But now, he was pulling her further and deeper into despair and isolation.

• 27:06Speaker 06

  I was managing to eat crackers and drink water. That was all I could kind of keep down at the time. And that just kind of escalated and, you know, I was already kind of burning out with what I was doing. But then not being able to eat and keep food down, I was just burning out even more.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  She decided to get on a dating app.

• 27:28Speaker 06

  I think I was just looking for somebody to make me feel better because I couldn't make myself feel better.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  She matched with a few guys and started messaging one of them more regularly. Eventually, they moved their conversation off the app and onto Facebook Messenger. But then...

• 27:45Speaker 06

  I started getting messages from Mark about the things that I was saying with this guy. My private messages to this guy. He knew the bloke's name. He knew what the context we were talking about. He said that we were talking about awful things.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  Hazel was scared.

• 28:03Speaker 06

  How do you know that? I haven't spoken to you. And he's like, the guy's messaged me and told me and sent me screenshots.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  But this guy didn't even know that Mark existed. That's when it dawned on Hazel.

• 28:18Speaker 06

  You've hacked into my Facebook.

• 28:20Speaker 00

  She changed her Facebook password, but that was only a temporary solution. She was getting calls and texts from unknown numbers at all hours of the day.

• 28:30Speaker 06

  The messages carried on. And then it got kind of really nasty. So he started calling me a whore, started calling me a slut for moving on so quickly.

• 28:41Speaker 00

  Mark's behavior was escalating. Hazel decided to reach out for support.

• 28:46Speaker 06

  I rang 101, which is our non-emergency police line. But they said they've got no way of tracking him. Tried my network provider. My network provider did offer for me to have block numbers stopped. But actually, sometimes important people ring on block numbers. The police ring on block numbers. The doctors do. So actually, that would be impacting my life more.

• 29:12Speaker 00

  So Hazel was left to deal with Mark on her own. Knowing that he lived in her neighborhood was terrifying. She was scared he was hiding around every corner.

• 29:23Speaker 06

  I couldn't drive past his house, so I was doing a detour. Every time I saw one of those vans, I'd get panic attacks.

• 29:31Speaker 00

  She remembered how often she ran into him when they were dating. Now she wondered, had that really been a coincidence? She checked Find My Friends on her phone and saw that Mark had access to her location. But she'd never given it to him.

• 29:48Speaker 06

  He must have got my phone at some point while we were together and set my location so he could see it.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  He was tracking her. And maybe he'd been tracking her since the very beginning. She didn't know what else he knew or what other ways he might be watching her.

• 30:08Speaker 06

  I didn't feel safe. It was horrible. It was invasive.

• 30:13Speaker 00

  She lived in a state of paranoia for months.

• 30:17Speaker 06

  One morning, I'd come downstairs. And we've got candles. They're called imperial candles. And they smell absolutely beautiful. And they've got jewelry inside. So I'd gone downstairs and the candle had burnt down enough that I could get the jewelry out.

• 30:35Speaker 00

  Hazel stood by the breakfast bar, fishing out the jewelry from the candle.

• 30:40Speaker 06

  So I was stood there for quite a while because they're quite hard to get out.

• 30:44Speaker 00

  Then she heard something.

• 30:47Speaker 06

  I heard like a zzz noise.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  She looked up slowly. In the corner of her living room, she kept a pet camera.

• 30:57Speaker 06

  I always had the camera pointing at the front door because that was where Rico would always howl.

• 31:03Speaker 00

  But now, the camera was turning slowly, looking around the room. Somebody was controlling it remotely. When it was pointing directly at her, the camera stopped.

• 31:16Speaker 06

  And I just froze. I think he's in my camera.

• 31:37Speaker 03

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• 32:49Speaker 07

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• 33:38Speaker 00

  After Hazel broke up with Mark, he began harassing her. It started with incessant text messages and calls. Then he hacked into her Facebook account. And then, one morning, Hazel was in her living room when she heard her pet camera move. Someone was controlling it remotely. When it was pointing directly at her, the camera stopped.

• 34:01Speaker 06

  And I just stood and I just froze. I didn't know what to do.

• 34:06Speaker 00

  She grabbed her phone and logged into the pet camera app.

• 34:10Speaker 06

  And it said two viewers. So me and somebody else. Now, I didn't live with anyone else, never given the access to anybody. No one else should have had any access to the camera.

• 34:23Speaker 00

  This had to be Mark. And with the camera pointed straight at her, she knew he was watching her that very moment.

• 34:31Speaker 06

  I thought, okay, just try and act normal. I picked up my keys, I picked up my phone, and I just left the house.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  Hazel was rattled.

• 34:43Speaker 06

  What's gonna happen next? I don't know what to do. If I cut off my camera, is he gonna start turning up?

• 34:50Speaker 00

  She ran through options in her mind.

• 34:53Speaker 06

  I deleted all of his messages at one point because I didn't wanna read them again. I didn't wanna relive it. So I thought, okay, if I ring the police, I've got no evidence. So it's my word against his.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  Eventually, she decided to confront Mark directly.

• 35:10Speaker 06

  I messaged him and I said, I know you've been in my camera. I know you've been watching me.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  And to her surprise?

• 35:19Speaker 06

  He admitted it. He said that it was because he missed me so much and that he didn't know how else for me to be part of his life.

• 35:27Speaker 00

  His words were alarming, but Hazel gained something valuable.

• 35:32Speaker 06

  I had evidence.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  He'd admitted in writing what he'd done and why he did it. Hazel reported him to the police.

• 35:43Speaker 06

  The police came out to see me the next day, took a full statement, asked me what I wanted to do. And they gave me three options. They said they can have a word with him and tell him to stop. They can arrest him or they can just record it in case something else happens and then they've got a bigger picture. And I sat there and I just thought, if something else happens.

• 36:08Speaker 00

  Her mind went to dark places. What did they mean if something else happens?

• 36:14Speaker 06

  And that kinda sat with me and I thought, it's escalated to the point already, which is horrendous. Didn't feel safe in my own home.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  So she told the police she'd made her decision.

• 36:29Speaker 06

  You've got to arrest him because I don't know where this is gonna end. He's a liar, he's a manipulator and he's an abuser and I don't think he'll stop unless he's made to stop.

• 36:40Speaker 00

  A few days later, Mark was arrested.

• 36:45Speaker 06

  He'd been arrested on suspicion of stalking and harassment.

• 36:49Speaker 00

  Hazel knew he was still employed by the gas company. She called them and explained that Mark was a liability to their customers' safety.

• 36:56Speaker 06

  I was just trying to get my point across and say that this man is dangerous. And you've got him going into people's homes. And you need to get him out. They said it was the wireless heating system company's problem.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  So Hazel called them.

• 37:15Speaker 06

  And then they said it's the gas company's problem. So I was just getting bounced from the two companies. And I was on the phone for hours.

• 37:25Speaker 00

  This pathway wasn't working. Nobody she spoke to knew how to help. With Mark's trial coming up, Hazel decided she wanted her story to serve a broader purpose. She wanted to spread awareness about stalking and perpetrators like Mark. Before Mark's trial, Hazel reached out to her local newspaper.

• 37:46Speaker 06

  To make sure there was a reporter there. Because I thought this isn't going under the carpet.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  On the day of Mark's trial, Hazel went to court.

• 37:54Speaker 06

  I felt that I needed to be there to show him that he hadn't broken me. I had probably about seven or eight friends with me that had come to be there and to support me. I read my victim impact statement and my hands, they were really, really shaking.

• 38:16Speaker 00

  There was overwhelming evidence of Mark's harassment and stalking, including his own confession to Hazel.

• 38:23Speaker 06

  He pled guilty. He got an 18-week prison sentence suspended for 12 months. And he got an indefinite restraining order preventing any contact with myself. And he's not allowed in my road.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  Two days later, the local newspaper reported on Hazel's story and Mark's crimes. Over the coming weeks and months, the story spread to other outlets across the UK.

• 38:53Speaker 06

  I had papers writing to me and magazines writing to me.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  We've had voice actors read some of the headlines. We've anonymized the name of Mark's former employer.

• 39:07Speaker 07

  Camera to spy on her avoids jail. This is what it's like to be stalked in your own home. Gloucestershire woman's full account of how ex-gas engineer hacked into her cameras after fixing her boiler.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Gas engineer stalked ex-girlfriend by hacking pet camera inside her home.

• 39:23Speaker 00

  Telling her story was challenging at first, but she has continued to tell it because she knows how important it is to put language to her experience.

• 39:33Speaker 06

  I didn't think of harassment and stalking. I just saw it as he's got a screw loose and he just needs to leave me alone. It wasn't until the police said stalking and harassment that I really started to reflect on what I had gone through and how serious it was.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  When Mark showed up at her house to fix her boiler, Hazel was at her most vulnerable. When she was talking with her friend about her divorce, Mark was in the next room.

• 40:09Speaker 06

  He was listening to everything. He told me that later on. He was listening to the fact that I was crying.

• 40:17Speaker 00

  He heard her desperation and just hours later, he swooped in and started flirting with her. Mark saw Hazel was lost because of that, she'd make the perfect target. One night Hazel got a call from an unknown number.

• 40:35Speaker 06

  And I was like, oh my God, the restraining order hasn't worked. None of this has worked. He thinks he can message me again and ring me.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  Nervously, she picked up the phone. She braced herself to hear Mark's voice. Instead, it was the CEO of the gas company.

• 40:53Speaker 06

  And he said that he'd read the article. He terminated Mark's contract with immediate effect. He already had people going to his house to collect the van, collect all the equipment. And he was very sympathetic as to what had happened.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  The gas company connected her with mental health services.

• 41:16Speaker 06

  They gave me counselling through their counselling service, which helped me a lot. I used CBT, which really did change my view on him. He wasn't scary anymore. He was just this little pathetic man that it's just not worth my time, my thought, my energy.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Even though it had taken a stalking conviction, it was meaningful that the company reached out to support her.

• 41:45Speaker 06

  I received an apology and lots of reassurance. And they actually use that case now in training moving forward. So that's really positive, I think. That if something like that happened again, that maybe it would be dealt with differently.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Hazel suspects that Mark's girlfriend found out that he was cheating on her. After Hazel broke up with him, she learned that his girlfriend had also kicked him out of the house. But more recently, Hazel saw Mark and his girlfriend together in their driveway. That means Mark is still two roads away.

• 42:21Speaker 06

  So I drive past his house most days, but I do it with my head held high. He didn't win.

• 42:28Speaker 00

  Hazel has a permanent restraining order against Mark. He's not allowed on her road, but that only offers so much protection. It was scary knowing that Mark lived around the corner. For a while, Hazel thought about moving, but in the end, she decided to stay. It didn't seem right that she should be the one forced out of their neighborhood. For Hazel, staying in her home symbolizes...

• 42:54Speaker 06

  He didn't win this. He didn't break me.

• 42:58Speaker 00

  She didn't want Mark to be the reason she left a place she loves deeply. She wanted to rebuild and make her home somewhere she felt comfortable again. So she decided to renovate.

• 43:09Speaker 06

  I completely ripped out everything and started again. I kind of took back the safety of my house and made it so different that if you walked in here now, you wouldn't recognize it.

• 43:21Speaker 00

  She refuses to uproot her life because of what Mark did. Instead, she's leaned into her community and shifted her mindset.

• 43:30Speaker 06

  It's made me stronger. I will not take any shit. I won't. I will not put up with anything. I will not be told I can't do something or be spoken about disrespectfully by anybody.

• 43:46Speaker 00

  Knowing the realities of stalking and harassment firsthand has informed her career.

• 43:52Speaker 06

  It's made me a better social worker in cases like this. I will share some of my story with some families. We'll sit and we'll talk about red flags.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  We asked Hazel to share the signs she encourages people to look out for.

• 44:10Speaker 06

  The massive one is love bombing. If somebody is in love with you after a couple of days, run for the hills. Like, run for the hills. You can't be in love with somebody after a couple of days.

• 44:27Speaker 00

  We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

• 44:34Speaker 06

  What happened to me highlighted the gaps in how people are protected. There's professionals that are coming into your home. You would expect them to be safe. You would expect them to have checks done on them to know that they are safe to be entering people's homes. This isn't just my story. It's about awareness, accountability, and reminding people to put their safety first.

• 45:11Speaker 00

  On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  My sister starts receiving these text messages from an unknown number. Who else is getting these messages? Why did it start with us?

• 45:33Speaker 00

  If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please email [email protected]. That is [email protected]. Please note that we are not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local help or dial 911. Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included a list of US-based resources. You can follow us on Instagram @betrayalpod or find me @itsandrea gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal

• 46:15Speaker 00

  community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. A big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our story editor is Monique LaBord. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producer is Lea Jablo.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  Production management by Kristen Melchurey. Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ally Perry and Jessica Krychek. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins with additional editing and mixing by Matt Talbekio. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by MyMusic. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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