Donisha | Betrayal Weekly

Donisha was elated to finally meet a man who checked all her boxes. Someone she could start a family with. But just as her future starts to take shape, a knock at her front door changes everything. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal team by emailing us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. You can also find us on Instagram at @betrayalpod https://www.instagram.com/betrayalpod/ and @glasspodcasts https://www.instagram.com/glasspodcasts/. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. If you are currently in crisis, please reach out to organizations that offer immediate support. We are including a few US-based resources here: 988 Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/ If you or someone you know is in crisis or need to talk to someone immediately, please call or text 988 – the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline available 24/7/365. National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence. They offer 24/7 phone and chat support to help you create a personalized safety plan and connect you with local support. For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org/betrayal. You can also get free, confidential, 24/7 support through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE. Every state has a domestic violence coalition. If you’re looking for help in the US, search the web for your state’s domestic violence coalition. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 2:06Speaker 03

  I cannot have this. I have worked very hard to have a life of peace. And we have a child now. I cannot have U.S. Marshals knocking on my door asking me where you are.

• 2:32Speaker 00

  I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Really quick before we get into the episode, I have a small favor to ask you. If you're enjoying listening to Betrayal, please take a second to hit the follow button on your podcast app and please rate and review. We read all the comments and your voices help our show improve and evolve. I really mean it when I say thank you for listening and helping us grow. Also, if you want behind the scenes content or resources, follow @betrayalpod on Instagram or follow me at It's Andrea Gunning. All right, on to the show.

• 3:17Speaker 00

  Growing up, Donisha Quiller was used to chaos. She was one of seven kids.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  I have a brother, a sister, a half brother, and then my mom adopted three of her nieces.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  They lived in a two-bedroom house in Long Beach, California.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Eight people. It was very chaotic, a lot of fighting for attention.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Donisha had a good relationship with her father, but he was in and out of the house when she was growing up. As the primary caregiver, her mom held everything together. With seven kids, it was an exhausting job.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  She was super mom. She was stressed out and it wasn't easy.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  When the house got too loud, Donisha escaped into her bedroom and watched her favorite TV shows. She practically had the TV guide memorized.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  I'm an 80s kid, so it was Full House and Perfect Strangers.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  Donisha's mom ran a tight ship, especially when it came to dating.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  My mom was anti-boys, anti-dating. She would tell me constantly that you don't trust men, you don't rely on men.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  On Sundays, Donisha's family attended church. They were Pentecostal, and that came with its own expectations.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  There were so many rules. Sex was on the top of the list. If you did that, you were just done for.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  Donisha followed all of the rules very carefully. There were certain movies she couldn't watch, certain clothes she wasn't allowed to wear. So she had to find creative ways to express herself.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  I got extensions, and they were always rainbow colored. And that was exciting. It was pretty much the only thing my mom would allow.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  In high school, Donisha made a plan for her future.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  I thought that immediately after high school, I would go to college, find my husband, buy a house, have a couple of kids, and then be a career woman.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  After graduating, Donisha enrolled at Biola University, an evangelical Christian university in southeast LA. She graduated with a degree in communication disorders.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  I was really looking forward to doing either speech therapy or some sort of work with the deaf community.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  After college, she was eager to start her life. She couldn't wait to get a job, get married, and start a family.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  I was like, doors are gonna open, right? This is obvious.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  She started applying to jobs in speech therapy, but she was rejected again and again. It was discouraging.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  I had a chip on my shoulder because I had a degree.

• 5:56Speaker 00

  And that wasn't the only thing that wasn't going to plan. Donisha struggled to find a romantic partner. She put herself out there and went on dates, but she didn't meet anyone she genuinely connected with.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  I was miserable. This was not what I signed up for.

• 6:15Speaker 00

  Her childhood in the church hadn't prepared her for this disappointment.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  I was doing everything right. I loved God, I talked to God, I read the Bible. I thought, why am I not getting my husband?

• 6:27Speaker 00

  She'd always believed that there was a formula to a fulfilling life. But now that she was an adult, she began to see...

• 6:34Speaker 03

  The formula doesn't exist. Everybody's on their own journey.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  She had to start figuring out what she truly wanted when she wasn't trying to follow other people's rules. So she decided to go back to school for accounting.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  I love accounting. I am very Virgo and I want the receipts. I want to know the proof.

• 6:56Speaker 00

  Donisha worked hard and excelled at school. After getting her graduate certificate in accounting, she quickly found a job. She'd been ambitious her whole life, but in her twenties, she found a way to channel her hard work towards goals that genuinely excited and challenged her. She was finally living life on her own terms. She started saving up money and bought her first condo. By her thirties,

• 7:21Speaker 03

  I was feeling like the badass bitch. Like I am doing this life stuff.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  While going back to school for accounting, she'd established a serious relationship. She and her boyfriend had been together for years. But as she excelled, she noticed he wasn't growing with her.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  This man was just kind of bumming. He was a very nice man, but he was not motivated and it was bumming me out.

• 7:49Speaker 00

  She wanted a life partner who was as ambitious as she was. Someone who she could rely on, who she could trust enough to build a family with.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  I had enough and I said, you have to go. You have to go. And so he went and I felt like this weight off my shoulders.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  After the breakup, Donisha decided to live on her own. She was surprised at how much she loved her newfound independence.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  I smoothly walked into having my own place and my own space in peace of mind. I started working out. I had a personal trainer. I had people over when I wanted to have people over. I had a jet tub in my condo. My favorite thing to do was get a glass of wine and some snacks. I'd go take a nice hot bath.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  As she got into her late 30s, she knew the window to have kids was closing. She started considering the idea of pursuing motherhood on her own.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  I had the career, I had a home, so this kid would not miss out on anything. But ideally, ideally, I would love a great partner.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  So she decided to give dating one more shot. After her last breakup, she had a clear picture of what she wanted in a romantic partner.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  I desired somebody who really took responsibility for his family and led his family.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  Donisha made a profile on a dating app called Woo.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  It's an app for people who love to date bigger people, mainly men and bigger women. I was a thick girl and proud of it.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  After a few days, she matched with a man who stood out from the rest. His name was Lorenzo.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  His pictures were just everything.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  He was super sexy.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  They messaged back and forth a bit. At first, it was casual.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  We rarely talked, but the times that we did, it was a fruitful conversation. I really liked him.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Lorenzo wasn't pushy or overbearing. If anything, he was more reserved. He had a military background.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  I just remember being impressed with him and really wanting to crack this nut, but like, he would not open up as much as I wanted him to.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Donisha was hoping that Lorenzo would ask her out. He hadn't been forthcoming about what he wanted yet.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  In the meantime, Donisha went on dates with other guys she met on Woo, but none of the men she was meeting impressed her.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  One night, I had a date with a man named Richard. He was okay. He was not a bad guy, but it was just not for me. And I got home and I was really not feeling well about that. Like, this keeps happening. I keep meeting okay men, but I'm not meeting the man.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  She was starting to lose hope that the man of her dreams was out there. But in that exact moment, her phone rang.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  Lorenzo called and said, "I have some time off of work. Do you want to meet?"

• 10:52Speaker 03

  I was still in my outfit from the date prior that evening and I absolutely wanted to meet. I could not wait.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  Even though it was late at night, they made plans to meet up for their first date.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  We found a bar called The Stash on Fourth Street in Long Beach and they had seating outside.

• 11:10Speaker 00

  When she got there, she locked eyes with Lorenzo.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  He was beautiful to look at. Six-four, just towered over me. Big guy, dressed to the nines, smelled so good.

• 11:24Speaker 00

  They made their way to the bar's outside patio.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  He pulled my chair out, such a gentleman. We talked about our upbringing and our goals and our careers.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  On other dates, making conversation felt like pulling teeth, but talking to Lorenzo was effortless.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  And then we got on the conversation of, do you want kids? He didn't have kids, I didn't have kids. And I said, I'm willing if I find the right person.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Lorenzo said he'd always wanted to be a dad. This made Donisha lean in. Usually the guys she met either already had kids or weren't interested in starting a family.

• 12:05Speaker 00

  When Donisha looked at her watch, she was surprised to see that hours had gone by.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  I told him it was getting kind of late. And when he walked me to my car, made sure I was on the inside of the sidewalk, which was so sweet.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Standing on the sidewalk next to Donisha's car, Lorenzo leaned in to kiss her.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  It was the best kiss that I have ever had in my life. It was just amazing.

• 12:30Speaker 00

  Lorenzo didn't walk away until he was sure Donisha was safely on her way home.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  We watched as I bridged onto the main street, made sure I got home by a text. I got home with a smile from ear to ear. I was cautious but so excited. It was a great night. The best date I've ever had.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  This was the kind of guy she'd been waiting for.

• 12:55Speaker 00

  When she woke up the next morning, a text from Lorenzo greeted her.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  He had left me a text message and dedicated a song to me. It made me smile and get butterflies in my stomach.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  Their second date followed soon after, and then their third.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  We were joined at the hip since our first date.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Soon, they made their relationship official. Donisha's knowledge of Lorenzo's life grew from a few bullet points on his dating profile to the full story.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  He grew up in Puerto Rico for the first portion of his life. His mom was still there. He had been in the military for most of his life. He had enlisted right after high school. He started in the Army and then matriculated into Marines. And then he went all the way up the ranks to Colonel.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  He showed Donisha some of his old uniforms, decked out with military pins and accolades. He shared stories from his years in the service. He told Donisha about the time he stepped on a homemade bomb while on deployment.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  It really destroyed his body and then was put back together in Germany. He had like titanium and everything.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  He'd since retired from active military service, but he still worked for the Department of Defense.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  He worked for DCIS.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  DCIS, or Defense Criminal Investigative Service, investigates fraud and corruption within the Department of Defense.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  He had a gun on him all the time, no matter where we were. He had a gun in his badge.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  After dating men who lacked direction, Lorenzo's passion for his work was a breath of fresh air.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  I was really impressed. The military, the high-profile government job. It just was like a cherry on top of this sexy man. Like, he's on the right side of things, making sure our military is safe. And I felt safe with him. I felt protected.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  As the time they spent together grew, so did their feelings.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  It didn't take long for us to be telling each other we loved each other.

• 15:04Speaker 00

  Soon Lorenzo moved in with Donisha. They spent countless hours watching movies and TV shows together, and debriefing about the characters and themes of the story afterwards.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  We would have long conversations and it would morph into like philosophical conversations. And we would get deep into our religious backgrounds. And he also was deconstructing his faith.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  They could talk about anything. When conflicts did arise, they worked through them together with patience and care.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  The disagreements we had were short and sporadic. And it was more of a conversation. It felt so adult. It felt so good to just be able to express something I didn't like, or something that was bothering me, and we could just talk it out.

• 15:52Speaker 00

  The only thing they couldn't really talk about was Lorenzo's job.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  It was super secret. I couldn't know too much. Every once in a while, he'd give me a little bit of an inkling about a case that he was working on, but no names, no details.

• 16:07Speaker 00

  Lorenzo worked long hours.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  He would come home at like 4 o'clock in the morning, or he would be gone for a week.

• 16:15Speaker 00

  Lorenzo told Donisha he had to travel often for work.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Me and my girlfriend called him FBI because we knew he was working for the federal government in some high-profile thing. And so I would call him FBI babe when I was referring to him.

• 16:31Speaker 00

  When Lorenzo was traveling for work, he always stayed in touch over text.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  He would send me pictures of the plane he was going on. He would send me pictures of him in a uniform, going into a high-profile meeting before he had to turn his phone in.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  At work, Lorenzo was fearless. And with Donisha, he was caring, gentle, and patient. She felt at home by his side. She'd been waiting for a love like this her whole life.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  And I've heard stories before that if you know, you know. And I just, I knew, I knew this was him. I knew this was my guy.

• 17:07Speaker 00

  They had only been dating for a couple of months, but she knew what she wanted. Donisha was in her late 30s, and she told him her priority was starting a family.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Finally, you know, and two grown up nerds, we're both almost in our 40s, never married, no kids. Let's do this together.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  So they made the unconventional decision to prioritize starting a family as soon as possible.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  If it happened, in my mind, it would be just a blessing. And then it happened. I was so elated.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  She was pregnant. It felt like fate. But she was nervous to tell Lorenzo now that being a dad wasn't just an idea, but a reality. What if he changed his mind?

• 17:53Speaker 03

  I told him, you don't have to stay. I could do this on my own. And he said, absolutely not. That was not even a question in his mind. We're gonna do this. First time parents, let's do this.

• 18:04Speaker 00

  But Donisha had a lot of complications with her pregnancy.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  I had everything in the book. Because I'm older, I was already high risk. And then 12 week mark, they did the diabetes test, had diabetes, had to go on a very strict diet. Around 34, 35 weeks, I started getting high blood pressures. I had to test my blood pressure several times a day. I was going in for a non-stress test two times a week. It was a lot.

• 18:32Speaker 00

  Lorenzo was by her side through everything.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  Lorenzo was my anchor. He came to most of the appointments, drove me there. He stayed with me the entire time.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  Donisha was Lorenzo's top priority. Even when he got home from work at four in the morning, he got up two hours later to prepare her breakfast in bed.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  He really was focused on making me happy and making me comfortable. Lots of massages, lots of love.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  Lorenzo started putting together the nursery, hanging up shelves and doing the physical labor so that Donisha could rest. Watching him take care of her gave Donisha confidence that he would be a great dad.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  He was just so gentle with me and I was a mess. I was crying all the time and he made me feel happy and he got me in a better mood every time. I knew that he was gonna be an amazing father.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  When their daughter was born, Lorenzo was right there by her side.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  And he got to cut her cord and he was the first person she touched. It was so amazing. And the nurses tried to bring her to me and I'm like, please, give her to her dad.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  It was a magical moment. Looking at her daughter in Lorenzo's arms, Donisha was filled with pride for her family.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  I could not believe I had my man and my baby. I was just so excited.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Finally, her fairy tale was coming to fruition.

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• 21:26Speaker 00

  When Donisha became a mom, she was overjoyed. Watching Lorenzo care for her and their daughter felt like a dream come true, the type of love she'd always wished for. They had a baby shower. Lorenzo's mom and sister traveled in from Puerto Rico to be there.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  I got them gifts and I thanked them for coming to be with us and celebrate this new journey and how amazing it is that this is their first grandchild and niece, and they were really receptive.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  Because of the nature of Lorenzo's job, he didn't have paternity leave.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  He was only home for a week. His job did not want him to be off for that long. He demanded that week. Him having to go back to work was really hard. I really wanted him there.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  Lorenzo worked a lot, but he still did everything he could to be a great dad. When he wasn't working, he jumped in to help Donisha.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  He was helping me figure out lactation and breastfeeding. He was always washing the baby bottles. And when baby was stressed out and wouldn't sleep, and she was screaming and screaming, he would take over.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  One day in August, when their daughter was three months old, Donisha and Lorenzo were spending time together. Suddenly, he turned to face her. He looked anxious.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Out of nowhere, he just says that he had to tell me something.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  Then Lorenzo dropped a bombshell.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  And he confessed that our baby was not his first baby.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  He actually had three additional children. A 12-year-old, a 10-year-old, and an eight-year-old with two other women.

• 23:08Speaker 00

  Donisha was completely taken aback.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  To say that I was shocked is an understatement.

• 23:16Speaker 00

  She was numb and angry. She left the house to get some space.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  And then when I got back, I just begged him to tell me everything. What do you mean you're not a first-time dad? I don't understand.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  He said the kids were from two different relationships he'd had in his 20s. They didn't live in the area, and he wasn't involved in the kids' lives. Lorenzo tried to explain why he'd kept this from Donisha.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  He said he didn't want me to leave. He thought that if I knew he had other children, I would not be into him anymore. And my response was, that was my choice. You took that choice away from me.

• 23:55Speaker 00

  He explained that he'd never been given the opportunity to parent his older kids. So when he met Donisha, it felt like a fresh start.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  I asked a lot. Please, tell me everything. No more secrets. We're in this together. Anything else? Are you married? Like, what is going on? What about these other women? And he assured me, nothing else. There's nothing else. There's nothing else. And he is very, very sorry that he did not tell me about these other children.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  The lie stung, but Lorenzo seemed genuinely sorry. He admitted that hiding this was a mistake. He was apologetic and wasn't defensive.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I really wanted to let it go. I kind of understood where he was coming from, why he would keep that from me.

• 24:40Speaker 00

  She asked if she could meet his other children.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  I would love it. I would get snacks. We would watch movies. And he was really reluctant, and he did not like that idea. And then told me that the other children's mothers would not be on board, that he rarely gets to see them anyways. There was a lot of animosity between him and the other mothers.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  Donisha believed him. She was on maternity leave, busy with their newborn. And after Lorenzo came clean, he showed his remorse with his actions, doting on Donisha and their daughter.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  We had a great time all through my maternity leave. He was really attentive, even after this ball that he dropped, we tried to get past it and I thought it was doable.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  When Lorenzo had to travel for work, he found creative ways to stay in touch.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Baby girl and I would hang out in the living room. We had the nanny cam right next to the TV. And it was one of those nanny cams that you can patch through and talk through.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  Lorenzo would log into the nanny cam so he could see Donisha and his daughter and talk to them while they hung out at home.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  And it felt really good, actually. It was really sweet. He was watching all the time. You just pop in and watch. I would hear his voice and he's like daddy's girl, daddy's here. And talk to baby and talk to me. And it just was lovely to see that he was connecting, even though he had to be away.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  By Thanksgiving of that year, their daughter was six months old. Donisha and Lorenzo were in the car driving to her family's house for Thanksgiving dinner when Donisha saw that she had a missed call from an unknown number.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  There's a message from the call. I asked him to play it out loud as I'm driving. And it's this woman that I've never heard from or heard of. And she says she's looking for her husband Lorenzo.

• 26:30Speaker 00

  Donisha nearly swerved off the road.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  My heart drops and I'm like, what is going on? Just a couple of months ago, you told me you had three kids. And now some stranger is calling my phone, saying that she is looking for her husband. What is happening?

• 26:45Speaker 00

  She expected Lorenzo to be panicked and apologetic, but he was unfazed. He had an explanation.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  He assured me, that's my ex. She's crazy. Don't believe her. Please don't let this ruin everything. We have something good. I love you. This is our family. Don't let her get in your head.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  But the whole time she was at Thanksgiving dinner, the woman's words, "My husband Lorenzo," echoed in her mind.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  But it was baby girl's first Thanksgiving. So I pretended like everything was great.

• 27:18Speaker 00

  She put on a brave face around her family. When they got home that night, Lorenzo tried to reassure Donisha that there was nothing going on with his ex. He showed her the text messages between them to prove there was nothing to worry about.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  I saw the text messages and it seemed legit. So it helped me kind of let it go.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  She was still suspicious, but she wanted to believe Lorenzo. They had just started a family together.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  I was fighting for my little family. I thought for sure this was my time and I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep it as much as possible.

• 27:58Speaker 00

  One night, Donisha and Lorenzo were at home watching a show together as they often did.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Baby girl was in bed already. It was late at night. We were watching Dexter.

• 28:10Speaker 03

  And he pulled out a ring.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  Lorenzo asked Donisha to marry him. She said yes.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  We took a little happy picture and posted it on social media. And I was engaged. The next day, I squealed with my mom on the phone and all that stuff.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  But to be honest, in the back of my mind, I'm like, something felt off.

• 28:32Speaker 00

  She had always imagined that getting engaged would be one of the happiest moments of her life. But her happiness was laced with doubt.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  I kept thinking about the other mother that called me. Like, where is she in this story and this engagement? I don't know why, but I could not get her out of my mind.

• 28:53Speaker 00

  Lorenzo was passionate about his role as a federal agent. But as time went on, he wanted to start a side venture.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  He was really into arbitration, which is like the middleman when somebody has an argument with another person.

• 29:10Speaker 00

  Lorenzo decided to open a consulting business where he would use his negotiation and conflict management skills to help clients navigate complex custody battles or divorce proceedings. He told Donisha that his specialization within the federal government allowed him to be an arbitrator. This wasn't her area of expertise, so she didn't think much of it. She offered to use her accounting skills to help get the business set up.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  I helped him draw out like a policy and how to get paid and all that stuff.

• 29:41Speaker 00

  Then Lorenzo started taking on clients.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  His first case was a family here in Southern California. It was a child custody case. The mom was not attentive to the child and the dad really wanted custody, but they were not seeing eye to eye. So he was going to see both sides and file paperwork.

• 30:03Speaker 00

  One day, Donisha was hanging out with some friends when she got a call from Lorenzo. Right away, she could tell something was off with him.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  He seemed flustered. He told her.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  I have to tell you what happened today. Please don't be mad. And I was like, okay, what happened?

• 30:22Speaker 00

  There had been an explosive dispute in the child custody case he'd been working on.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  The mom was supposed to drop the baby back off at dad's house and never did. So Lorenzo went with dad to go and look for the child. He said they found mom and child and Lorenzo got out to get the child and the mom fought him and he held her back. Authorities were called and the mom went to the hospital.

• 30:50Speaker 00

  When the police came, they arrested Lorenzo and his client, the child's father.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  So Lorenzo and the father went to jail, but he had bailed himself out.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  He was calling her after posting bail. Donisha was stunned and furious.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  This was a client of yours, your first case. Why were you on the street looking for people and grabbing kids out of people's arms? Like, why would you do that?

• 31:15Speaker 00

  Lorenzo didn't have much to say in his own defense.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  He said, I just got passionate, you know? It was a mess.

• 31:23Speaker 00

  He brushed off the altercation as merely a one-off. He did have one major worry, though.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  He said he was concerned because he did not reveal his arrest to his superior at work. And because he works for such a high-profile government job, that could be a whole thing. So I was like, so then tell them.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  To Donisha, reporting it seemed like the obvious thing to do. But Lorenzo told her it wasn't that easy.

• 31:52Speaker 00

  A little while after that, Donisha was home alone with her baby when she heard a commotion outside her front door.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  They are knocking at my neighbors right across from me. Really loud, aggressive knock. And I hear whoever is knocking asking for Larry.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  The neighbors didn't answer. Donisha heard footsteps walking away.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  And suddenly, the knock is on my door. I open the door. These two men in street clothes are claiming to be U.S. Marshals, and they're looking for Larry. I explain I don't know a Larry. And they said, well, he goes by Lorenzo.

• 32:52Speaker 04

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• 33:21Speaker 02

  ChatGPT for Teens is designed to help teens learn, think critically, and grow their skills. ChatGPT for Teens supports active learning by breaking concepts down. Rather than giving teens the answer, Study Mode helps teens work through problems, and interactive quizzes test their knowledge and provide immediate feedback. Safety protections are on by default, and parental controls offer families additional options like setting study hours and quiet hours. Visit chatgpt.com/parents to learn more.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  Danisha and Lorenzo were making things work raising their one-year-old daughter together. Lorenzo's work as an agent with DCIS meant he was often away from home. One day, Danisha was at home with their baby when she heard a knock at the door. When she opened it, two US Marshals were standing on her front porch.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  And they're looking for Larry. And I explained, I don't know a Larry.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  This didn't make sense. Surely, the agents had the details mixed up and were at the wrong house.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  And they explained, well, he goes by Lorenzo sometimes. My whole body is hot. I feel like my stomach is dropped.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  Then, one of the Marshals pulled out a photo of the man they were looking for.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  And they showed me a picture, and it's the first thing I ever saw. It's his dating profile picture. I was like, yeah, that is my fiance. They repeat that they're from the US Marshals and he is wanted.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  Donisha's head was spinning. She needed more information.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  What are you talking about? What is this about? And they said, we can't really tell you much, but he is wanted for a weapons charge. And I said, well, that doesn't make sense. He's an agent with our government. He wears a badge and a gun.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  The US Marshals asked if Lorenzo was home. Donisha said he was not, but they told her they needed to come in and search the house themselves. Her heart was beating out of her chest.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  I've never been in trouble, not even a little bit. I mean, a couple of detentions in junior high, so I don't know the law like that. So I allowed one of them to look. I asked them to be quiet because the baby girl was sleeping.

• 35:32Speaker 00

  One of the Marshals searched the house, while the other asked Donisha questions about Lorenzo. When they were certain he wasn't hiding inside the house, they gave Donisha their contact information and left. Donisha felt like the ground beneath her was shifting, like she couldn't take a full breath.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  My mind is all over the place, totally nervous, in a fog. I was so scared that I did something wrong. I immediately called Lorenzo.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  But he already knew.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  He's like, yeah, I saw it on the nanny cam.

• 36:05Speaker 00

  He'd been watching the US Marshal search their home through the nanny cam he set up in their living room.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  It was as if he were waiting for this to happen. Why would he watch at that very moment? Why now? He knew. He knew something.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  As always, Lorenzo was calm and had an explanation.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  Don't worry, babe. It's just a misunderstanding. It's because I didn't tell my boss about the arrest.

• 36:32Speaker 00

  To Donisha, that explanation didn't seem to add up. The US Marshal said he was wanted for a weapons charge. Lorenzo's arrest had been months ago, and he never made any mention of a weapon. Plus, as part of his job, he was required to carry. None of this made sense.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  I don't know why the government would be this mad about a stupid arrest. You got in a fight. Like, that's not a big deal.

• 36:58Speaker 00

  Lorenzo assured her that he had everything under control.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  This is nothing, and he will fix it. Don't worry, I'm gonna clean it up.

• 37:07Speaker 00

  First, there was the lying about his kids, the secrecy around his job. Then there was his arrest. And now? He was wanted by US Marshals?

• 37:18Speaker 03

  I cannot have this. I have worked very hard to have a life of peace. And we have a child now. I cannot have US Marshals knocking on my door, asking me where you are. Like, this is ridiculous. What is happening?

• 37:34Speaker 00

  Even though Lorenzo seemed calm on the phone, it became clear to Donisha that he was hiding something. Because that day, she waited for him to come home. But he never did. Not that day or the next day. And he wasn't answering her calls. That's when she realized.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  He was essentially on the run, trying to avoid the US Marshals, trying to avoid arrest. I had no information. I didn't know where he was. I didn't know what was happening. Nothing felt normal.

• 38:04Speaker 00

  Lorenzo called her a few times. He'd tell Donisha he was safe. He was still sorting it all out. She kept urging him to just be honest and turn himself in.

• 38:15Speaker 03

  I don't understand why people are looking for you and why it would be so hard for you to just go ahead and tell your boss, get your punishment, and get it over with.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  As the days turned into weeks, she clung onto the idea that he could fix it and come home to their daughter. But his absence meant Donisha was suddenly responsible for running the household.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  I hadn't seen him. He is not helping me take care of the baby. He is not financially there either. I'm doing this all by myself.

• 38:46Speaker 00

  The longer Lorenzo was on the run, the more Donisha questioned the stories he'd been telling her.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  It was a balance of really scared, angry, and missing him all at the same time. I was so anxious and my neck hurt. I was so tense.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  Lorenzo had been gone for nearly a month. Donisha was in denial.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  I have a baby with him and I love him so much. I didn't need perfection. I just wanted my family together. Even if it's fake peace, it's peace. And I could pretend like nothing else is wrong.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  When she didn't hear from him, she started checking online, Googling his name to see if there was any news. That's how she saw the picture.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  They actually posted on Twitter. It's just so weird to me. But I see my big, strong man with handcuffs.

• 39:42Speaker 00

  Lorenzo had been arrested.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  They found him. The US Marshals found him. I don't know where they found him. I always try to look at the background. It looks like a house, maybe a parking garage. But yeah, they got him.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  But Donisha still didn't know what exactly Lorenzo had done.

• 40:00Speaker 03

  All of those arrests are public records, so I was able to look everything up. And his charges were child endangerment, false imprisonment, conspiracy, violence, impersonating a peace officer. All of them are horrible, but the one that really stood out to me was impersonating a peace officer.

• 40:19Speaker 00

  Peace officer is a blanket term to describe law enforcement officers. It includes the police, sheriffs, and special agents. Seeing that charge was the first time Donisha realized Lorenzo wasn't who he said he was.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  He was not an agent with the government. All of that's made up. And because he's not an agent with the government, he's in big, big trouble because he's pretending.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  That made more sense to me than just the stupid fight.

• 40:49Speaker 00

  There were no further details in the arrest record. What did they mean by child endangerment and false imprisonment? In the moment, all she knew for sure was that he'd been lying to her. And seeing his charges, she knew that his lies were serious, criminal.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Emotionally, I was a mess. I was embarrassed and shocked.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  She struggled to accept that this was really happening. Worst of all, was accepting that the future they'd been planning together was gone.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  And this was after like these fantasy conversations that I would have with him, getting married and buying a house and like really living our lives out as a power couple. All that went out the window.

• 41:32Speaker 00

  She was left to raise their daughter on her own while Lorenzo sat in jail.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  I'm still going through postpartum and I'm working full time, trying to keep up with the bills and life and cleaning. It's all on me. It's all on me. So because he's in prison, I'm only able to talk to him when he calls me.

• 41:51Speaker 00

  The first time they talked on the phone, Lorenzo didn't have any answers. He's stuck by his story that he was a federal agent. And his arrest was all a big misunderstanding.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  His perspective of the story of how he got arrested in the first place does not add up. So what is happening is all I kept thinking, like, what is happening? Am I ignoring something?

• 42:13Speaker 00

  Then one day, Donisha got a phone call while she was at work. She recognized the caller ID. It was Lorenzo's ex, the woman who'd called on Thanksgiving.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  I answer and she comes in hot. She comes in like, who is this? And she sounds like she's ready to fight. I say, I'm Lorenzo's fiance. She said, I'm Lorenzo's fiance.

• 42:35Speaker 00

  But the truth was, Donisha needed her help. Maybe this woman had the answers she didn't. She asked her.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Can you tell me what's going on? Tell me your perspective. She tells me he was never working. Every time he was not at my house, he was at her house. That he is sleeping around and I need to get tested. It's really serious.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  It turned out they weren't the only two women. Lorenzo had been in multiple relationships at the same time. And he made all of the women he was with believe they were the only one. But that wasn't even the worst of it. The woman on the phone said that Lorenzo had gotten another woman pregnant around the same time that Donisha had been pregnant with their daughter. And this other woman apparently lived in Donisha's neighborhood.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  And she said she lived just next door and has a baby around the same age as my baby.

• 43:33Speaker 00

  And this was on top of the three secret children he had before he met Donisha. She recognized the pain in this woman's voice, and she believed her. Lorenzo had deceived them both. Later that same day, Lorenzo called Donisha from prison. She answered on the first ring.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  And I let him have it for the first time since all of this has been going on. You're trash. I don't trust anything you're saying. I'm going to get full custody. I don't want to ever see you again. We're not getting over this. We're done. And I don't say things unless I meet them, and I meant them.

• 44:12Speaker 00

  She hung up the phone.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  I was sad that I'm losing what I really wanted. But also, I'm in a space where I cannot continue to pretend like everything's okay. This is not okay. It's not normal.

• 44:26Speaker 00

  The man she loved felt more like a phantom now.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  What can I say is even real? Did he love me? Why me? Why did you choose me?

• 44:36Speaker 00

  Donisha kept in touch with Lorenzo's mom. One day, when they were out to lunch, his mom said something that exposed yet another lie.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  I asked his mom how Puerto Rico was, and she says that she's never been there.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Not only were they not there, but he was not born in Puerto Rico. So that was a lie. He was born in LA. He was named Larry.

• 45:01Speaker 00

  Before Lorenzo's arrest, she'd seen a copy of his birth certificate.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Which showed me that he was born in Puerto Rico and his name was Lorenzo. I saw the birth certificate, it said Puerto Rico.

• 45:13Speaker 00

  But that document must have been forged.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  So who doctored this document? That's so weird. And why lie about that?

• 45:24Speaker 00

  Hearing this reveal threw Donisha off. She was too flustered to ask his mom any follow-up questions in the moment. But later, when she was alone, she realized she needed more answers. She didn't even know who Lorenzo was. And she wanted to find out.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  Now I know Larry is officially who he is and born in LA. I was able to get deeper and look for more receipts.

• 45:49Speaker 00

  She scoured the internet for everything she could find about Lorenzo, aka Larry. Her search for the truth took years. We want to walk you through Lorenzo's criminal past, combining what Donisha and our team has found out. His given name at birth was Larry Cornell Diamond Jr. In total, he had six arrests and convictions. We're going to detail a few of them. It all started in 2000 in Los Angeles. Larry was 22 at the time. He and his friend Robert Hyun showed up unannounced at a woman's apartment. They knocked on her door and told her that they were FBI agents. They said that they needed to search her home. They were armed and she let them in. But they weren't FBI agents.

• 46:34Speaker 00

  They were bounty hunters. The Los Angeles Times reported on the crime. Here's part of that reporting read by a voice actor.

• 46:43Speaker 05

  Hyun and Diamond proclaimed to be affiliated with a non-existent branch of the FBI. Hyun and Diamond created a fake search warrant and claimed they were FBI agents when they made their way through a woman's sand pageant apartment, searching for stolen computers. Both men were wearing holstered semi-automatic guns and silver badges that they claimed were FBI badges.

• 47:05Speaker 00

  That was the start of a pattern, an almost pathological scheme of impersonating authority, like FBI, CIA, or police, as means of extortion. After he was released, Larry went right back to it. In 2003, he walked into a hardware store where he intended to carry out his next crime. The District Attorney's Office in Central California released a statement explaining what happened that day. We've had a voice actor read part of it.

• 47:35Speaker 06

  Diamond went to the hardware company dressed like a law enforcement officer. He was wearing all black, displaying a badge, and claimed that he was an FBI agent with the American consulate. He then threatened to arrest the owner unless the owner paid $10,000 directly to Diamond.

• 47:54Speaker 00

  For that offense, he served a four-year prison sentence. This was so much darker than Donisha imagined. Lorenzo wasn't just lying about his identity. He was threatening and exploiting innocent people. He would show up armed and in disguise, then demand money or valuables. He abused authority he didn't even have, and he did that over and over again for his entire adult life. Lorenzo wasn't just unfaithful or delusional. He was dangerous. In September of 2016, he legally changed his name to Lorenzo Sanchez Diamond.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  The very next week, he was arrested again, this time for possession of a firearm. Donisha pored over all of these documents.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  I'm reading the whole thing, and they catch him at a Denny's in his military gear with guns in his trunk, and he gets arrested.

• 48:55Speaker 00

  None of his arrests or prison sentences deterred him. Each time he was released, he picked up where he left off and continued his impersonation con. Even after Donisha ended things with Lorenzo, and he was in prison for the sixth time in 2023, he would insist that he was always a federal agent. At least, that's what he told Donisha. But he asked her not to come to a sentencing hearing. There, he pled guilty to all the counts he was facing. He was sentenced to another 18 months in prison. Donisha thought that would be the end of the story. But while Lorenzo was behind bars, she got a strange email.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  I got a mysterious email from Bubba Walker. Never heard of this person. They introduced themselves as CIA agents. And then there is a MP3 voicemail in it. It was a computerized female voice.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  The sender claimed to be an employee at the CIA, singing Lorenzo's praises for his invaluable efforts in the global war on terrorism. They said Lorenzo was a good man with more intelligence than most.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  The recording just was like, Lorenzo Sanchez is a great person, and he is a great stand-up citizen, and that I should trust him. It also said not to tell anybody about this message and to destroy the message after I got it. I told everybody.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  My sister was like, well, I can say a lot of bad things about this man, but he will go through the ends of the earth to fake a CIA call to get you to believe his bullshit. Like, this is so stupid.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  It was laughable. She no longer believed anything Lorenzo said. After nine months behind bars, Lorenzo was released on good behavior. Even though things were over between them, she let Lorenzo FaceTime their daughter occasionally. On one of those calls, Lorenzo said he had some grave news.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  That's when he revealed he had cancer. I thought it was another tactic, another lie, maybe to get my waltz down again, to see if he can get back into my good graces.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  So she told him.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  You're not invited in my home or my heart anymore. If you're sick, I hope you feel better soon.

• 51:18Speaker 00

  But the next time they had a video call, Donisha noticed that the room he was calling from was different. He was in the hospital, and he looked gaunt. He'd lied about so much, but this time, he was telling the truth.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  He has stage four colon cancer. He's very sick.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  Lorenzo's health only declined from there. He went into hospice. Donisha decided to visit him and say goodbye.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  He looks really frail. You could push him over with just the breath.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  Seeing him at the end of his life brought up overwhelming, conflicting emotions.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Before all the things that went wrong, he showed me love like no one else had showed me before this. I felt respected. I felt loved and desired. Having him destroy my life, and now he was dying.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  She walked over to his bedside.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  I was so sad. It was so sad to see. I never wished this for anyone. I held his hand and told him I forgave him and that I got this and I will take care of our daughter. You can let go.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  She left his room. Within 48 hours, Lorenzo passed away. Donisha reached out to us a few months later. She's still processing the loss.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  It's unending grief. Grieving the life that I thought I had. The husband, the baby, the house, all of those things. I had it for so little, such a little time. I'm grieving that all the time. I'm grieving the single motherhood of it all. And I grieve for my baby.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  That grief is muddied by confusion.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  It's really hard to determine who this person was.

• 53:13Speaker 00

  Lorenzo's obituary describes him as a doctor, author, poet, and rapper who loved macaroni and cheese and watching Jeopardy. His LinkedIn profile describes him as a legal expert and human rights consultant. Lorenzo tried on so many disguises, so many prestigious careers, doctor, lawyer, federal agent. Donisha knows now, he wasn't any of those things. She's left wondering if anything he ever told her was real.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  I still am not 100% sure what the truth is.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  Donisha has had to make peace with the confusion and grief Lorenzo left behind. She hasn't been in contact with the other women Lorenzo deceived. For her, reaching out would reopen wounds she is trying to heal.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  My focus is on my baby and doing my job well.

• 54:08Speaker 00

  She has built an impressive career.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  I'm making six figures at a nonprofit as the accounting manager. I'm so proud of me to be in this role. I worked hard to get here.

• 54:20Speaker 00

  She's created a safe and loving home where her daughter gets to express herself authentically.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Baby girl is thriving. She loves school and it's already time to enroll her in regular elementary school. And that's emotional.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  And she loves dancing, loves ballet.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  These days, Donisha sees her own strength clearly.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  I'm resilient because I struggle with depression, anxiety, but this did not strike me. I am still going, I'm still standing strong and I'm gonna be fine.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

• 55:02Speaker 03

  I cycle through grief on a daily basis. I feel very lonely, having experienced this and not having a lot of people that understand where I'm at, that wore these same shoes and had the same thoughts. So I really wanted to find my people, tell other people they're not alone, and to just know that somebody knows what I'm going through.

• 55:32Speaker 00

  On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.

• 55:35Speaker 07

  You've got to arrest him because I don't know where this is going to end. He's a liar, he's a manipulator, and he's an abuser, and I don't think he'll stop unless he's made to stop.

• 55:54Speaker 00

  If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please email [email protected]. That is [email protected]. Please note that we are not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local help or dial 911. Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included a list of US-based resources. You can follow us on Instagram @betrayalpod or find me @itsandrea gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community,

• 56:37Speaker 00

  join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. Big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our story editor is Monique LaBord. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producer is Lea Jablow. Production management by Kristen Malkury.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Ally Perry and Jessica Krychek. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins with additional editing and mixing by Matt Talbekio. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by MyMusic. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Get answers. You can get things done. Whether you're leading a big project, planning an elaborate trip, or trying to balance work and life, ChatGPT can help. Give it a goal, plus things like files, notes, or project plans, develop a trip itinerary with daily updates, or create a prioritized schedule, so you can spend less energy sorting out the details and more on bringing your biggest ideas to life. Get started at ChatGPT.com.

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• 58:50Speaker 00

  She's been thinking about this sleepover all week, but I think about her food allergies all the time. Fortunately, her doctor prescribed Zolair, omalizumab. It's proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens.

• 59:03Speaker 06

  Zolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people one year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Zolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Zolair. Zolair may cause a severe, life-threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Zolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Zolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis, while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection, or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see zolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Zolair. This is an advertisement for Zolair,

• 59:48Speaker 06

  paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

• 59:50Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.