Aaron | Betrayal Weekly

Betrayal Weekly is back. Aaron was committed to supporting the woman he loved, no matter the cost. Then one day, he asked for receipts. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal team by emailing us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. You can also find us on Instagram at @betrayalpod https://www.instagram.com/betrayalpod/ and @glasspodcasts https://www.instagram.com/glasspodcasts/. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. If you are currently in crisis, please reach out to organizations that offer immediate support. We are including a few US-based resources here: 988 Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/ If you or someone you know is in crisis or need to talk to someone immediately, please call or text 988 – the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline available 24/7/365. National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence. They offer 24/7 phone and chat support to help you create a personalized safety plan and connect you with local support. For resources on sexual violence, visit rainn.org/betrayal. You can also get free, confidential, 24/7 support through RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. Text HOPE to 64673 or call 1-800-656-HOPE. Every state has a domestic violence coalition. If you’re looking for help in the US, search the web for your state’s domestic violence coalition. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hi, everyone. We have some exciting news to share. ABC News Studios has turned Caroline Borrega's story from Betrayal, season four, into a docu-series. You'll get to meet the people involved, you'll hear from people who have never spoken before, and you get to see where this story took place. We are so proud and excited to share it with you all. Stream Betrayal: Dirty Secrets now on Hulu or Hulu for Disney+. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  My name is Jessa. One of the things I love the most about working for United Healthcare is that everybody matters. Every moment matters. There's a person behind every problem. I care because it's what I was put on this earth to do.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  I'm Ben, and I work at United Healthcare. I am just one piece of a larger puzzle, but every piece matters. It's more than just work. We want to make the healthcare system better for everyone. I care because I want to make a difference. That's what committed to care means to me.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  You know the saying, "Knowledge is power"? Well, it's a lot more than that. Knowledge can be growth, security, opportunity. And no one knows that better than Southern New Hampshire University. That's why they offer over 200 online degree programs designed to help you reach your goals. Set yourself up for success, or get ready to pivot into something new. No matter your program, you'll learn practical, career-focused skills you can use on the job. And don't worry, getting your degree online doesn't mean doing it alone. Southern New Hampshire University has some of the best student support and online education. From day one to graduation, you'll have friendly, knowledgeable people

• 1:39Speaker 00

  to help you with everything, from applying and financial aid, to tutoring and career development. At Southern New Hampshire University, knowledge can be life-changing. Get started at SNHU.edu/Betrayal. That's SNHU.edu/Betrayal.

• 1:57Speaker 00

  Listen, we're all trying to save for something. For me, I love to save up for a really nice vacation and maybe put some money aside for a new car. It's always nice having something to look forward to and knowing you're actually making progress towards those bigger goals feels really good. But in reality, it can be hard to actually save money. But that's what's great about the One Pay app. It makes saving money easy. First, you earn 3% cash back on up to $150. You choose categories like Walmart, gas, or dining, and then get rewarded when you spend in those categories. So you're rewarded for what you're already buying. With high-yield savings, your money keeps growing. So download the One Pay app or visit onepay.com for banking that gives you more for what matters.

• 2:42Speaker 03

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• 2:57Speaker 00

  Hey, everyone. Just a note before we begin, this episode discusses suicidal ideation. Please take care when listening.

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Betrayal Weekly is officially back. This is season three, episode one. Each episode tells a unique story of deception and broken trust, and each storyteller has found their own path forward. Whether you've been with us from the beginning or you're just tuning in, welcome. We are starting this season with Erin's story.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  I'm at work, just plugging away, and I get an email notification on my smartphone. I look down and it's from the FBI, RE, information about Sabrina Taylor.

• 4:00Speaker 00

  I'm Andrea Gunning in This is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  My name is Aaron Ward. I'm a software engineer working in video games.

• 4:19Speaker 00

  Aaron spent his whole career working on popular video games.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  I worked on Halo Infinite. I worked on Minecraft. I've worked on a bunch of little projects for Nintendo. One of my minor claims to fame is I had the number one played game on nick.com in 2008, which was SpongeBob SquarePants: Reef Rumble.

• 4:41Speaker 00

  Aaron's a third-generation computer nerd. He grew up in rural Ohio with his siblings and parents who worked in computer science.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  My parents were what I would call upper-middle-class, both white-collar working professionals.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  Aaron's parents made enough money for their family to live comfortably. But a lot of people in their community struggle to make ends meet. His parents tried to give back wherever they could.

• 5:08Speaker 04

  My parents always volunteered a lot. They were very generous and they also helped lead a lot of local fundraisers.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  His parents taught him to be generous with his money and his time.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  My parents were a lot about honesty and a lot about trying to help people that needed it.

• 5:32Speaker 00

  Aaron spent most of his free time playing video games or reading about them.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  I was a really big Nintendo fan and I had a subscription to Nintendo Power.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Nintendo Power was a magazine all about Nintendo games. It had comics, game reviews, and articles. Aaron read every issue. And when he was in fifth grade, he read an article that sparked his interest.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  They mentioned the opening of the Digipen campus.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Digipen is a college near Seattle that specializes in video game design. Even though Aaron was only in fifth grade...

• 6:08Speaker 04

  I knew very early on that's really what I wanted to do with my life.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  Getting into Digipen became Aaron's life goal.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  One of our freshman year activities when I was in high school was writing three things that you wanted to try to accomplish in your life. My three things were working on a AAA video game title, graduating from Digipen, and being a Jeopardy champion.

• 6:31Speaker 00

  As of this recording, Aaron is not a Jeopardy champion. Yet. But he's accomplished his other two goals. His senior year in high school, he was accepted into Digipen. He left the farms and factories of rural Ohio and jumped headfirst into a world of video games.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  It was exciting, and Aaron learned a lot. But Digipen had one big shortcoming.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Digipen has a 95 to 5, male to female ratio. So Digipen was four years of having almost no female socialization. As someone who had mostly female friends in high school, that was a big change for me.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  Aaron noticed how being in a male-dominated environment was impacting the people around him. And he didn't like what he saw.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  I had seen a lot of my peers at Digipen starting to go down that path of misogyny because they weren't being around women in their day-to-day lives. So the only women they were exposed to were actresses or people in the media.

• 7:42Speaker 00

  Aaron didn't want to go down that path. So he read books and worked with his therapist to learn what healthy relationships really look like.

• 7:51Speaker 04

  One thing I learned is to try to not be transactional in relationships. It's not about, "I do this for you, you do this thing for me." Relationships need to be about the broader scope of caring for each other and being there for each other when stuff is hard.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  After graduating from college, Aaron and some friends moved into an apartment together. He was working as a video game programmer and loved the life he'd built. He felt ready to meet someone and decided to give dating in Seattle a try.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  I was not super outgoing. I was not a go out to the bars and meet someone kind of person. And that's when I turned to internet dating. At the time, 2007, the iPhone is barely a thing. There is no Tinder. So what I'm left with, option wise, are Craigslist personals.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  Craigslist personals was a subsection of Craigslist for people who were looking for relationships, romantic connections, or friendships. You could post an ad about yourself and what you were looking for.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  I had noticed there was a glut of men looking for women ads. So I mostly focused on responding to the few women that had posted their ads up.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  One day, while scrolling through Craigslist, Aaron saw an ad that caught his attention.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  The headline of it was about how white guys are scared to date black women. And it intrigued me enough to at least read it. In the ad, she talked about how she was a nerdy black woman who grew up in a largely white Midwestern area and how the white men of the Seattle area had never seemed to approach her or approached her in very poor ways.

• 9:40Speaker 00

  Aaron responded to the ad, apologizing on behalf of the white nerdy men of Seattle. The author of the post thought his response was funny and wrote him back.

• 9:51Speaker 04

  I found out her name was Sabrina. We exchanged pictures over email and had a couple of emails back and forth before we decided to go out on a date to the local off-leash dog park.

• 10:05Speaker 00

  On the day of their date, Aaron headed to the dog park, feeling nervous but excited.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  She showed up looking just like her pictures with her pet Dalmatian satchel, who is very sweet, and we ended up taking a nice, long hour-plus walk where we both went through our lives and the things we have in common. She grew up in Iowa, I grew up in Ohio, so we both grew up in the Midwest.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Aaron immediately felt relaxed around Sabrina.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  We also talked about all of our different nerdy interests: video games, anime, television shows. We were both big Sailor Moon fans. We had both played basically every Nintendo game that had ever been made: Mario's, Zelda's, Final Fantasies.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  After their first date, Aaron couldn't wait to see Sabrina again. He invited her to hang out with him and his friends at a pub they liked on the east side of Seattle. He was a little nervous. Would Sabrina click with his friends? But as soon as she showed up, his nerves melted away.

• 11:13Speaker 04

  She got along with basically everybody. She is magnetic and draws a lot of people around her to listen to her talk about whatever she's talking about. She's definitely the kind of person that can make friends very easily in a crowd.

• 11:29Speaker 00

  Aaron loved hanging out with his friends with Sabrina by his side.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  The fact that she was so charismatic was extremely attractive to me. It really helped fill in some of my gaps of getting conversations started and breaking the ice socially with new people.

• 11:47Speaker 00

  After that night at the pub, Aaron and Sabrina had their first kiss.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  We had great physical chemistry as well as having a lot of things in common, so that really felt like it was kind of a meant-to-be situation.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  They started spending more and more time together. Soon, they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. They had long conversations about their backgrounds and dreams for the future.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  She was an intern for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and she was finishing up her double bachelor's in public health and women's studies, with her end goal being becoming a doctor. She had big plans for her life going forward, that was something that was attractive to me in a possibly forever partner.

• 12:39Speaker 00

  With Sabrina, the world felt big.

• 12:43Speaker 04

  We went on a couple of little trips to the coast, and being with her just really got me out of my shell, and got me out of my apartment with my roommates and out doing things, even if it was just shopping or wandering around Pike Place Market.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  And of course, they loved playing video games together.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  She would have a game that she really liked the story of, but wasn't quite dexterous enough to beat. And so she'd get it started, and I would do the later harder levels for her, so we could both see the ending of the game.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  They were on the same team.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  Sabrina really made me feel seen and appreciated in a way that I hadn't been for a while. She always made me feel like I was a priority in her life, and I tried to do the same.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  They began to talk about their long-term goals.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  I wanted the stereotypical white picket fence, wife, two and a half kids, etc.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  She was looking toward medical school, so kids and getting married and stuff, that was down the road a bit. And I was okay with that. At this point, we're still early to mid twenties, so we've got some time.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  Aaron and his friends moved into a new house together in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood.

• 14:07Speaker 04

  A month after me and my roommates had moved into the house, Sabrina comes to me and says that her apartment is going condo. Obviously, she can't afford to buy it. And she's not making a lot of money as an intern at the Gates Foundation, and she's still trying to finish up that last like month or two of school. She basically doesn't have anywhere to go.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  So Sabrina moved in with them.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  I was excited to move in with my girlfriend, even if it was on a slightly faster schedule than I was planning on in my head. I was happy to have her with me every day, waking up with me, going to bed with me, just be around all the time.

• 14:48Speaker 00

  In true Sabrina fashion, she made the transition easy. She brought a lot of laughter and fun to the house.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  She got along really well with my roommates. She integrated very quickly into the friend group. It was just a lot of fun to have everybody living together. You know, we all played rock band together and we could kind of be loud and crazy because we weren't sharing a wall with anybody.

• 15:08Speaker 00

  But living in the same house also meant seeing each other's daily struggles up close. Sabrina had been dealing with chronic back pain. Aaron saw just how much of a toll it was taking on her.

• 15:21Speaker 04

  It had gotten bad enough that she had to call out of work a couple of days for it. So I encouraged her to go to the doctor and, you know, kind of get this checked out.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  Sabrina agreed. The day of her appointment arrived. And when Aaron came home from work, he was anxious to hear how it went.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  I come home and she's seated on the couch, looking very defeated. So I sit down and I hold her hand and that's when she tells me her doctor had diagnosed her as having multiple sclerosis.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  You know the saying, "Knowledge is power"? Well, it's a lot more than that. Knowledge can be growth, security, opportunity. And no one knows that better than Southern New Hampshire University. That's why they offer over 200 online degree programs designed to help you reach your goals. Set yourself up for success, or get ready to pivot into something new. No matter your program, you'll learn practical, career-focused skills you can use on the job. And don't worry, getting your degree online doesn't mean doing it alone. Southern New Hampshire University has some of the best student support in online education. From day one to graduation, you'll have friendly, knowledgeable people to help you with everything,

• 16:59Speaker 00

  from applying and financial aid, to tutoring and career development. At Southern New Hampshire University, knowledge can be life-changing. Get started at SNHU.edu/Betrayal. That's SNHU.edu/Betrayal. Listen, we're all trying to save for something. For me, I'd love to save up for a really nice vacation and maybe put some money aside for a new car. It's always nice having something to look forward to, and knowing you're actually making progress towards those bigger goals feels really good. But in reality, it can be hard to actually save money. But that's what's great about the One Pay app. It makes saving money easy. First, you earn 3% cash back on up to $150.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  You choose categories like Walmart, gas, or dining, and then get rewarded when you spend in those categories. So you're rewarded for what you're already buying. With high-yield savings, your money keeps growing. So download the One Pay app or visit onepay.com for banking that gives you more for what matters.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  One Pay is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by Coastal Community Bank or Lead Bank, members FDIC. Cash back is earned as points. Go to onepay.com/rewards/terms for redemption options and additional details.

• 18:15Speaker 00

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• 18:59Speaker 00

  Just complete a short online assessment, get matched with a clinician who fits your needs, and you can schedule your first appointment in days, not months. Plus, you'll continue seeing the same provider so your treatment can grow with you over time.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  Head to talkiatry.com/betrayal to complete this short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/betrayal to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/betrayal. Talkiatry.com/betrayal.

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• 20:08Speaker 00

  When Aaron and his girlfriend Sabrina moved in together, Aaron realized how much her chronic back pain was impacting her day-to-day life. He encouraged her to go to the doctors, and she did. When she came back from her appointment, Aaron could tell right away that something was wrong.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  So I sit down and I hold her hand and I asked her what happened that day. And that's when she tells me that her doctor had diagnosed her as having multiple sclerosis.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  Aaron held her close as Sabrina began to cry.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  She started talking about all the things that she might not be able to do, and I tried to comfort her the best I could.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  Aaron was in shock. His grandfather Harlan had died of multiple sclerosis. So Aaron knew how difficult MS could be.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  I heard the horror stories from my dad about how bad it was for Harlan. I had known a couple of friends that had had an MS and had their lives cut pretty short.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I had a thumb-in-the-air guess of her life expectancy being somewhere in the 50s, maybe if she was already diagnosed before we had turned 30. I was just devastated.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  Their shared dreams for the future, a house, kids, growing old together, crumbled in front of his eyes.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  I didn't know what to do besides just hold her and tell her, I promised to help her through whatever came up. I was gonna do whatever it took.

• 21:47Speaker 00

  Even though they'd only been dating a year, Aaron was committed to staying by her side, whatever their future held.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  I never had the thought of not committing to it. It didn't scare me off. I was in for the long haul at this point. I wanted to be there for her. This is the reality now, so let's figure it out. Let's do what we can.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Sabrina had an undergraduate degree in public health.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  So I kind of let her take the driver's seat as far as learning about the disease and letting me know what she needed from me to assist.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Sabrina's first symptom was back pain. But over time, she started experiencing other symptoms as well.

• 22:30Speaker 04

  Generalized soreness and limb pain and casual exercise from like walking the dog was starting to bother her. So walking the dog became entirely my responsibility.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Then, standing at all became a challenge.

• 22:46Speaker 04

  So I took over a larger share of the housework and basically all the cooking. It was a little exhausting. Quite frankly, it's kind of just lucky I was still in my late twenties and I kind of still had the energy to do all of that. Lot of caffeine, lot of sugar.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Aaron did everything he could to make Sabrina as happy as possible during this incredibly challenging time.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  I was paying for a lot of makeup, a lot of clothes. She had very particular tastes. As my dad liked to say, she has champagne taste in a beer pocketbook.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  Sabrina was working at a nonprofit, but her symptoms quickly began interfering with her job.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  She's been calling out of work a couple of times a month at this point. One day, she calls me up and says, "Well, I got fired."

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Aaron was immediately defensive of Sabrina.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  What the hell happened? They can't just fire you if you're sick.

• 23:45Speaker 00

  Sabrina explained that she had called out of work because she was having a high pain day. But then she had to run an errand that couldn't wait. And while she was out, she ran into her boss.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Her boss had seen her out shopping on a day when she was supposedly in so much pain she couldn't get out of bed.

• 24:07Speaker 00

  Aaron was frustrated.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  If you're calling out, you need to stay home.

• 24:11Speaker 00

  He told her to just let him handle the errand next time.

• 24:15Speaker 04

  After she's fired from her job, she's basically stuck at home. She talks about going back to medical school. I'm very encouraging of this because she needs to have a job for us to function as a unit. I don't make enough money to support us both forever.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  Sabrina still needed a few more college credits before she could apply to medical school, so she enrolled in community college classes. Aaron was now the sole provider for both of them. But Sabrina's spending habits didn't slow down. Aaron was left scrambling to cover the costs.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  I end up getting payday loans and spending a good chunk of every payday going to each payday loan place to pay the loan off and then immediately loan the money again.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  He watched his credit card bills stack up. Sabrina was still spending money on luxury items like makeup and clothes while they were struggling to make ends meet. It was unsustainable and stressful. Aaron confronted Sabrina about her spending habits a few times.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  It usually broke down into a lot of tears and promising to do better and saying, "I should be able to live comfortably."

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Sabrina's symptoms were progressing, and she wanted to make the most of the years where her quality of life was still relatively good. She wanted to experience the world and fill her days with things that brought her joy. Aaron wanted that too, but the financial pressure on him was mounting. He was also paying for all of Sabrina's medications.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  After losing her job at the nonprofit, Sabrina struggled to maintain insurance. She would tell me that, "Oh, I've got my insurance set up. It's fine. You can go in. It won't cost that much."

• 26:14Speaker 00

  But when Aaron went to the pharmacy and they ran Sabrina's insurance, it often didn't go through.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  So it goes from, you know, 20, 30 bucks to 300, 400 bucks. That was several hundred dollars that I usually didn't have every month. But I have to have the medication today because we're out. Medication is not something you can live without.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  So Aaron did whatever had to be done to make sure Sabrina got her medications on time.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  It often came down to borrowing money from people or paying bills late or the internet gets shut off for a few days, having the rent check bounce just to make sure that the medications were filled on the day they needed to be filled.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  As the months went on, Sabrina's MS symptoms worsened. She began using a cane for walking assistance. It was harder for her to keep her balance, and she began fainting frequently. Her soreness and limb pain became more severe.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Because of all the pain, she was having a lot of trouble keeping her energy level up. Seeing her struggles with the illness was definitely a major challenge for me. I didn't want to see her in pain. I wanted to try and make her life as easy as possible because I knew that this was going to be a pretty rough ride for her.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  He offered to support her by coming to doctor's appointments with her. But the scheduling never worked out. In the middle of a very challenging time, there was a bright spot. Aaron got his dream job.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  I got a job as a software engineer at Nintendo. This is my dream company. I got business cards that say Nintendo and my name. It's a huge deal to me.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  Aaron and Sabrina had moved out of the house with his friends and into an apartment of their own. On top of starting his new job, Aaron was spending hours each day taking care of Sabrina. It was difficult.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  By this point, we're much less romantic partners and much more caregiver and receiver. I did all the dishes. I did all the cooking. We don't really have that romantic relationship anymore. We're always broke. We're not going out on dates.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  Aaron was caring for Sabrina financially and handling their household chores because her MS symptoms made physical labor painful. But Sabrina's quality of life was still good enough for her to spend time with friends and have independence. And so, her personal spending never slowed.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  She was going out with friends and often spending money we didn't have. She's buying new clothes all the time, spending 100-plus bucks a month at the Mac counter and Sephora, packages from different delivery companies, somehow magically getting paid for. And this is on top of all the medications.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  Aaron felt powerless to stop Sabrina's spending. As her MS symptoms worsened, so did her mental health. She began struggling with suicidal ideation.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  At first, it was, "Well, if we can't refill my meds on time and I have to go without a couple of days, maybe I should just kill myself so I don't have to experience the pain for that week until a paycheck shows up."

• 29:36Speaker 00

  It felt like all of Sabrina's safety and stability rested on Aaron. He worked hard to cover all of her medication costs. But his paychecks weren't enough, and he was going into debt to afford everything. Then Sabrina began calling Aaron while he was at work. Usually, there was something specific that she needed.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Often, it was medication-related, but it started to expand beyond that. There was an occasion where suicide was threatened if I couldn't come up with $500 to buy a custom cosplay outfit for a convention.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  Sabrina's calls began taking up more and more of his workday. She was in such a delicate mental state, he felt like it was unsafe to leave her alone.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  All of this basically just drove me into a level of depression and exhaustion that I became unrecognizable to a lot of friends and family. I was always eating cheap garbage. There were a lot of times where I skipped lunch at work for a week or more because I didn't have the five bucks I needed to go get lunch.

• 30:48Speaker 00

  The cost of Sabrina's MS medications was impossible to keep up with. Aaron tried everything.

• 30:56Speaker 04

  I filled up several credit cards, trying to cover everything. I basically sold everything I owned. I had a video game collection that, in today's dollars, probably would be worth $25,000 to $30,000. And I was selling it for pennies on the dollar because there was something we needed now. It was always, "I need a couple hundred bucks now. I need to buy medication tomorrow. I need to make sure the rent check doesn't bounce again."

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Aaron was living in a survival state, always trying to keep up with the most urgent need. Then, after Aaron had been racking up medical debt for a year, Sabrina heard about a new treatment from her doctor. It was a glimmer of hope.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  The experimental intravenous treatment for MS came up the first time. The medication was called interferon.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  It was the early 2000s, and there weren't as many treatment options available for MS as there are today. For the first time in months, Sabrina seemed optimistic. This treatment could be the key to getting their lives back on track. Instead of the weekly and monthly payments, this treatment lasted a few months. Her doctors were hopeful that interferon could help manage all of her symptoms instead of needing multiple prescriptions. It had the possibility to majorly improve her quality of life.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  If I could pay $700 or $800 every couple of months, then we wouldn't need to be buying all of these other medications. This experimental treatment would be able to cover everything, or at least make a significant difference in her well-being, possibly to the point where she might even be able to go back to work. It felt like a God said, "The possibility that we could actually start moving forward as equal partners again, instead of just me taking care of her all the time."

• 32:55Speaker 00

  The way they were living was unsustainable. So Aaron was willing to take a risk.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  I decided to move forward with it. I got some help from my parents to help start the initial treatments.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  He kept offering to attend Sabrina's appointments with her, but it never worked out.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  They were always scheduled in the middle of the morning or in the middle of the afternoon on a workday. And I took time off to try and join her deployment. Oh, well, they had to cancel and reschedule.

• 33:25Speaker 00

  Aaron had put everything he had on the line to help Sabrina access this treatment. It was becoming more and more concerning to him that he'd never spoken to a doctor about it directly. Every medical update he heard came through Sabrina.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  I had been talking to my dad about it, and he told me that I should start asking for receipts since I could never make it to an appointment.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  So Aaron asked Sabrina to see a receipt for one of her interferon treatments. And when he did, something strange happened.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  I could kind of see panic on her face for about a half a second.

• 34:02Speaker 00

  But the panic quickly disappeared, and she told him.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  Sure, I'll get you one. That became a week or more, and then over a month into, oh, it's time for the next treatment.

• 34:18Speaker 00

  Aaron knew something wasn't right, but he was starting to lose the will to argue with Sabrina.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  I think at this point, I had just been beaten down emotionally so badly that I kind of just stopped caring. I didn't even have the strength to fight and argue about just basic information at this point.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  Aaron and Sabrina had been together for five years, and it had been four years since she was diagnosed with MS. Paying for her MS treatments for years had been a huge strain on Aaron. He was racking up debt, and his mental health was getting worse. But Aaron knew that having MS was a much bigger nightmare. He had watched Sabrina suffer for years, and the idea of doubting any part of her experience made Aaron feel guilty.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Who lies about being this sick?

• 35:12Speaker 00

  One day, Sabrina approached Aaron and told him that her doctors were recommending she start a new version of interferon, one that she'd only need every six to nine months. But there was a catch. It cost $8,000 for each treatment. She was planning to ask a mutual friend of theirs for help. Up until now, Aaron had been paying for all of the interferon treatments himself.

• 35:35Speaker 04

  Not having to panic about it at this point was such a priority that I agreed to go along with it.

• 35:42Speaker 00

  Aaron and Sabrina went to their friend's house to ask for his financial support.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  The friend brings up, "Okay, so you want to borrow $15,000?" And I had to hide the shock on my face because suddenly the number had changed. I didn't want to mess it up by confronting Sabrina about it in front of him. So after we leave, I confront her in the car about what's this extra $7,000 for? And she tells me, "Well, I want to start school up again. There's a couple thousand bucks for that. I need to replace my computer. And you know, I can only take a top-of-the-line MacBook. So that's another $3,000 or $4,000."

• 36:26Speaker 00

  By this point, Aaron did not trust Sabrina to handle money responsibly.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  The first thing I told her was, "I know how you are about spending money. If you're going to do this, go do the medical treatment first. Don't go buy the MacBook. Don't pay for school stuff. You go do the medical treatment first." She said, "Yes, yes, of course. Of course, I'll do the medical treatment first."

• 36:50Speaker 00

  But Aaron didn't feel comfortable just taking Sabrina's word for it. He needed to see for himself how she was spending this money.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Her computer was broken, so she had been doing some of her work on my computer. That meant that she had saved her bank login on my computer. So after she deposited the check, I started watching the balance of the account.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  Every day, he checked to see if she had made the $8,000 payment for interferon.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  And every day, I would open the bank account and see a couple hundred bucks get nibbled away, and then big purchase at the Mac store, went to the mall and spent $1,500 on clothes and makeup.

• 37:38Speaker 00

  Aaron watched in horror as the bank account slowly drained. There was still some part of him that expected her to pay for the treatment. For a while, there was still enough in the account, $8,000, to afford it.

• 37:53Speaker 04

  It's getting smaller and smaller. I'm not seeing the big expenditure for the treatment. And then one day, we've passed below the line of what the treatment costs. That was the whole reason we were supposed to borrow this money in the first place. And she's spending 200 bucks a week on My Little Pony phone game microtransactions. It gets below half of what she supposedly needed for this treatment. And then it finally gets below $1,000. And that was the day I kind of snapped.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  Aaron had woken up before Sabrina to walk the dogs.

• 38:29Speaker 04

  I went in the kitchen. I grabbed a bunch of black garbage bags from under the sink. She was still in bed.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  He woke her up, handed her the trash bags and told her to start packing her things.

• 38:42Speaker 04

  At first, she tried to deny that she had spent the money. And that's when I revealed that, no, I had actually been watching her bank account. And that's when the whopper to end all whoppers comes out of her mouth.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  She tells me that she's been working the day shift at a strip club. While I've been at work at Nintendo. She doesn't have a receipt for it, but she did get the treatment. And that's what she spent her stripper money on.

• 39:13Speaker 00

  Aaron wasn't buying it.

• 39:15Speaker 04

  Honestly, I think this was the last time I ever believed a word she said. She managed to get me to not throw her out with crocodile tears claiming she would get me receipts.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  Aaron knew he should walk away from the relationship. But the reality was a lot more complicated.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  An emotionally abusive relationship is like a cult of two people. The cult leader no longer had control over me. But I also didn't have the emotional and financial strength to leave at this point.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  Sabrina suggested opening their relationship and seeing other people. Aaron agreed. In the months that followed, Sabrina was still adamant that she had paid for the interferon treatment.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  I could never get documented proof of it. No receipts, no information from the doctor, no nothing.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  Aaron was trying to find a way to leave the relationship, but he was worried about what would happen to Sabrina when he left. She had been dependent on him for six years now.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  I still believed that she had MS, but that she just wasn't nearly as bad as what she let on. Because I had seen enough visual indicators to convince me that she was at least impaired somehow. It felt like she was just taking advantage of my family's history with MS to try and squeeze as much money out of my family as possible.

• 40:46Speaker 00

  Since Aaron and Sabrina had opened their relationship, he started seeing someone named Kia. He loved spending time with her. She was like a breath of fresh air.

• 40:57Speaker 00

  One night, while Aaron was out on a date with Kia, he got an alarming text from Sabrina.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  Sabrina had told me that she was in the bathroom, had taken a whole bottle of pills.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  Sabrina had made a suicide attempt. Aaron began to panic. He knew Sabrina often lied and exaggerated things. But if there was any chance at all that this was true, he had to help her.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  So Kia and I rushed home. We parked outside.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  While Aaron and Kia were still in the car, the front door of the house opened.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  And Sabrina walks out with two of her friends to go out to dinner.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  She didn't see him in the car. She walked right past him. For Aaron, that moment changed everything.

• 41:46Speaker 04

  This was purely a power play to try and keep my attention.

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• 45:03Speaker 00

  Aaron was starting to realize that his girlfriend Sabrina was lying about the severity of her MS symptoms to get financial support from him and his friends. Aaron hadn't found a way to leave the relationship. He was still worried about her physical and mental health. One night Sabrina texted him that she had attempted suicide and locked herself in the bathroom.

• 45:26Speaker 04

  So Kia and I rushed home, parked outside, and while we're sitting out there, Sabrina walks out with two of her friends to go out to dinner.

• 45:38Speaker 00

  Aaron was scared that Sabrina's life was at risk and she needed immediate medical attention. But here she was, dressed up to go out, laughing with her friends.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  This was purely a power play to try and keep my attention. After Sabrina came home, I told her that I saw her leaving and she tried to tell me that they were taking her to the hospital. I told her I knew that was bullshit.

• 46:05Speaker 00

  For the last five years of their relationship, Sabrina had been convincing Aaron that she was on the brink of collapse, mentally and physically, and that he was the only person who could keep her safe. But now, the extent of her deception was becoming clear to Aaron. This wasn't just exaggeration and bad spending habits. This was emotional and financial abuse.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  The following weekend, I invited one of my good friends over to kind of steal my resolve. And I sat Sabrina down on the couch in the living room and I told her, "We are not in a relationship anymore. I'm not paying for everything anymore. I'm done."

• 46:49Speaker 00

  The next weekend, while Sabrina was out of the house, Aaron's friends helped him move out.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  I rented a new apartment across town where she didn't know where I lived. I think she knew it was coming. She knew she was busted for the fake suicide attempt and she had just resigned herself to the fact that the spigot that was Aaron is turned off.

• 47:13Speaker 00

  Sabrina and Aaron still had a lot of mutual friends. After the breakup, Aaron distanced himself from their social group.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  She told a lot of people that I was physically abusive, financially abusive, that I was the one pissing away all of our money.

• 47:33Speaker 00

  Aaron was isolated from his community and left to deal with the impact of years of financial and emotional abuse.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  I was left with significant psychological trauma that I unfortunately didn't take the time to properly process.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  A few years passed. Aaron was trying to rebuild a base of stability in his life and pay off the debt he mounted while taking care of Sabrina. One day, Aaron was on Facebook when he saw that one of his old friends had posted a GoFundMe for Sabrina.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  I clicked on the link and gave it a read. She was in Japan. Someone had cleaned out her accounts while she was in Japan and she was stuck there with no return ticket and no money. I posted or applied to the GoFundMe saying that if you're going to start raising money for Sabrina, how about you start raising money to pay all the people back that she took money from and never paid back.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  The organizer of the GoFundMe criticized him for calling Sabrina's character into question. His concern was shut down in the comments. But other people had started catching on to Sabrina's lies. The friends she was hanging out with in Japan. They collected evidence, then posted their side of the story to Facebook.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Sabrina posted that she had spent the day at the bullet train station trying to figure out what the best time to jump in front of the train was. In reality, she had spent that day at Disneyland Tokyo, spending hundreds or thousands of dollars, and at the same time pleading poverty on Facebook.

• 49:19Speaker 00

  Finally, Sabrina was exposed. The truth was out there, and there was no way for her to talk her way out of it.

• 49:27Speaker 04

  Over the next week, I probably fielded a dozen or more apologies. Sabrina's scam worked great until people actually started talking to each other, and then it all fell apart.

• 49:42Speaker 00

  Other people began to come forward, sharing their own stories of Sabrina borrowing money and never paying them back.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  It felt gratifying to know that I wasn't the only one. And at the same time, I was racked with guilt that if I had figured some of this stuff out sooner, maybe a lot of these other people wouldn't have lost all this money.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  One day, something unexpected happened.

• 50:08Speaker 04

  I'm at work at Nintendo, just plugging away, and I get an email notification on my smartphone. I look down, and it's from the FBI, RE, information about Sabrina Taylor.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  The FBI was investigating Sabrina for fraud.

• 50:28Speaker 04

  I gave the agent a call, and we spent about an hour going through all of the different parts of my time with Sabrina, her MS treatments and diagnosis.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  The FBI kept Aaron up to date on Sabrina's case. She was charged with four counts of wire fraud. She appeared in court for the first time in November of 2021. After that, Aaron was able to see the case the FBI had built against Sabrina.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  It wasn't until I saw some of the evidence that I was 100% certain that she had never had MS. They had forged documents using doctor's letter heads. They had statements from multiple doctors that they'd tested her multiple times, that she never had MS. 100% of it was a lie.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  Erin had been paying for drugs like gabapentin under the impression that they were critical in managing Sabrina's MS symptoms. But gabapentin can be used to treat a variety of more mild conditions. After learning the truth about Sabrina's health, Erin did some research and learned that she was taking around three times over the maximum recommended dose of gabapentin. We don't know what she was using it for, but the drug is often used off-label for anxiety, and if misused, it can be addictive.

• 51:56Speaker 00

  Sabrina Taylor defrauded numerous victims out of over $600,000. She stole this money not from strangers, but from people who trusted her, who were concerned about her diagnosis, and who were willing to make compromises in their own lives to help her afford treatment and care. On July 1st, 2022, she pled guilty to one count of wire fraud for a scheme to defraud friends and acquaintances. Her health wasn't the only thing she fabricated. Sabrina's entire identity was a lie.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  She never worked for the Gates Foundation. She never graduated from UW, and she never even got close to medical school, and has mostly lived her life off the generosity of others at this point.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  There was one question all of her victims wanted an answer to.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Where was the money going?

• 52:53Speaker 00

  It was the kind of thing that was impossible to understand, unless you watched it up close, like Erin had, watching Sabrina's bank account drain transaction by transaction. He knew where the money went.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  The truth is, the money was just going to traveling and shopping and not having to work. She was trying to live the lifestyle she thought she deserved and didn't care how many people she had to leech off of to make that lifestyle happen.

• 53:29Speaker 00

  When Sabrina pled guilty, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Western District of Washington released a statement about her crimes. We've had a voice actor read sections of it.

• 53:40Speaker 06

  Taylor engaged in a sustained and calculated course of conduct that preyed upon her victim's best emotions. Taylor used a substantial portion of the defrauded funds to pay for luxuries, such as almost $60,000 for multiple trips to Japan and Korea, nearly $38,000 for online purchases from Amazon and Etsy, more than $29,000 for clothing, and nearly $16,000 for makeup. Taylor met some of the people she defrauded online, using shared interests such as Japanese anime, comic books, or video games to establish a relationship.

• 54:19Speaker 00

  Sabrina's sentencing hearing was six months later, in January of 2023. It was the first time Aaron had seen her in over five years. He delivered a statement at the hearing.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  I laid out a lot of the trauma that had come with everything that, you know, my dad had basically worked an extra year or two past when he thought he was going to retire to try and cover all of my debts, essentially. I told the judge that one of her favorite tactics was to threaten to commit suicide to get people to do what she wanted, when she wanted it done. And I think because of what I said, the judge rescinded her bail and sent her into confinement immediately because he did not want her to try to repeat that pattern.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Sabrina was sentenced to 27 months in prison. Assistant United States Attorney Joe Silvio released a sentencing memo. We've had a voice actor read part of it.

• 55:27Speaker 07

  Taylor carried out an extensive fraud scheme using deceit and deception that preyed upon humankind's better angels. Several of Taylor's victims suffered substantial financial hardship, some likely will never be made whole financially. Equally as important, Taylor exploited and betrayed the trust of each of her victims, and many of Taylor's victims will continue to pay an emotional toll for many years to come.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  I was definitely a lot less anxious during the time that I knew she was in prison. She has been returned to the Seattle area. I know she's still around here. Luckily, I haven't run into her, but that's definitely something that's on the back of my mind.

• 56:11Speaker 00

  Even though Sabrina isn't in Aaron's life anymore, her financial abuse will affect him for a long time. It's hard to know the exact number that Aaron spent on Sabrina, but he estimates it was at least $150,000. His debts severely impacted his credit, and he'll be paying it off for years to come.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  The total number I ended up owing my mom was just short of $100,000. I've been paying back what I could in the years since, and there is no way I'll be able to pay my mom back before she dies. I'm one of the lucky ones. I had someone that I could borrow that kind of money off of to get everything straightened out. I very easily could have had to declare bankruptcy over this.

• 57:00Speaker 00

  Sabrina was ordered to pay some of her victims restitution, but Aaron's name was not included in the list because of statute of limitations. To Aaron, this isn't a story about how we shouldn't trust others.

• 57:14Speaker 04

  She is the outlier. For every Sabrina that's out there, there are 10,000 people who actually need the help.

• 57:23Speaker 00

  To Aaron, this is a story about how we should trust ourselves.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  If you feel like you're being taken advantage of, or if you feel like you're doing everything for this other person and struggling to keep your head above water, start asking for proof. That was really what unraveled Sabrina's entire con, was somebody asked for the receipts.

• 57:48Speaker 00

  The experience has given Aaron a new perspective on financial and emotional abuse.

• 57:53Speaker 04

  This kind of thing happens to a lot more people than anyone realizes, and it's not something you should hold against anybody when it happens to them. This same kind of thing can happen to anybody under the right circumstances. I am a lot slower to trust people than I used to be, but it hasn't kept me from trusting people at all.

• 58:23Speaker 00

  We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story?

• 58:30Speaker 04

  These things do happen to men, and you're not less of a man for this having happened to you.

• 58:38Speaker 04

  And I really think that we need to be just as honest as the women that are coming forward with stories like these.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  If this story helps one person get out or helps their friend get out of a toxic, abusive relationship, then this was all worth it.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly...

• 59:11Speaker 05

  How in the world could someone stoop that low and go to that extreme? Were you too cowardly just to tell me the truth?

• 59:32Speaker 00

  If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please email [email protected]. That is [email protected]. Please note that we are not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local help or dial 911. Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included a list of US-based resources. You can follow us on Instagram @betrayalpod or find me @itsandrea gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal

• 1:00:14Speaker 00

  community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. Big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our story editor is Monique LaBord. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producer is Lea Jablow.

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  Production management by Kristen Mulkey. Booking support by Curry Richmond. Voice acting by Todd Gans and Carrie Hartman. Our iHeart team is Ally Perry and Jessica Krychek. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins with additional editing and mixing by Matt Talbekio. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by MyMusic. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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